₦airaland Forum

She is quite right and wrong. Multiple girlfriends, multiple expenses and time. You lose focus on what’s important and as well your income goes down.

Bad spirit - she is probably smoking or drinking OMO detergent

Bridget95:
falling on his banker wife's car like an agbaya.

Kai you get bad mouth oh. FYI the wife is no more in the Bank

toplinetrtrend:
Mbaka trying to generate public sympathy. The guy is an absolute disgrace to the Catholic faith

Trying to divert attention after his recent gaffe. This behavior is very similar with politicians.

MrPresident1:
13 days to the end of this generation (of the sun)

Now 13 days? Hahahahaha. What about the one you predicted in 2016.

This man disgusts me with his statement

After all the religious concerts - the situation remains the same. I remember my childhood when pastors organize crusades so we can cast and bind the devil. Now, I wonder how long do we continue to cast and bind this same devil. If I calculate how many times I alone casted and bind the devil, by now such fellow must be miserable and feedup. Add that to the total number of Christian Nigerians casting and binding this same devil, multiply it by the number of Christian crusades and concerts held each month per year. Now include the total Christian population in the world, their churches and programs.

It is either the devil is too powerful that the effect of Christian prayers mean nothing or the devil does not exist and was made up - you decide. Regardless, we must all agree that if you continue to do the same thing repeatedly and expect a different result, then one must certainly be a fool.

It’s not easy changing your belief system especially the one you grow up with as a child. I don’t need Freeze to inform me that many Christian practices are unreal and man made. I don’t need Freeze to let me know that the recent surge of churches everywhere in Nigeria is detrimental to Nigeria economic growth. I don’t need Freeze to elucidate how churches are designed to make pastors rich.

I also don’t blame people who continue to give their monies to their pastors. It is really hard to change a belief system. There were a lot of stupid things I did as a Christian. However, I can’t do them any longer now that I am wiser.

Respect55:
Hello friends. Please I'm in a deep problem. I won't like to bore u with unnecessary details, so I will keep it short.

I came to the city of Portharcourt on a permanent basis roughly two years ago after service to look for job. Along the line, I met this cool, calm, gentle lady in the church. Things were going well but I noticed one attitude of hers along the line. She would abuse and threaten me at every misunderstanding. She is from this city.

Along the line, her mum insisted that I should get wine and make my intention towards her daughter clear and official and I shouldn't worry after that. They are very very well-to-do.

I told her that I'm not yet established here and needs to get my life together to start planning for marriage but she and her daughter were not in for that.

We broke off. The daughter has been on my neck since. She is threatening my life that I should leave portharcourt or she shouldn't be blamed for whatever becomes of me thereafter.

Moreover, I haven't taken anything from her - financially or even lovemaking. I haven't touched her. I took this as a joke till she stared frustrating all my efforts to secure job or even start a little business I'm doing now.

She traced me to my business place today and warned again. As if that was not enough, she sent me a deadly text this night that removed sleep from my eyes.

She has even dared me to involve the police and find out she is from this city.

Please, I need a helping hand. Help!

Report her to the police for cyberstalking. Pick up her calls and record the conversations. That’s your evidence. Please act as a man. I don’t know why you are complaining after numerous suggestions.

Proceed within the purview of the law.

Classic case of money laundering. Well done Useni after you destroyed Nigeria with your military colleagues

alimaa:
I have a very close friend who has been like a brother to me right from our days in the university, we also worship in the same church, he was my best man when I wedded a few years ago. He got married this year and after the wedding things were not rosy for them the following month and I gave my little assistance as a friend. Around July this year his sister had a life threatening ailment and when he reached out to me I quickly responded with something meaningful. After some weeks his wife told me she was sick when we met in church, I quickly went to an ATM, made withdrawal and gave her money to buy drugs since her husband who happens to be my friend was not in town.

The irony of the whole thing now is
that my friend's wife now thinks that I am Father Christmas and now calls and sends texts requesting for money to take care of her antenatal drugs but I have refused to help because I believe it is wrong and she keeps pestering me.

Please what is your advice?

Very wrong my man - please bring it to the attention of the husband before he accuses you of sleeping with his wife. Going forward, inform the wife to channel all request via the husband. Your relationship is with your friend and not his wife even though she is an acquaintance.

Avoid unnecessary issues and another future thread on NL

Nigeria is really a toxic place where abnormal things become normal.

Women want equality and not to be objectified but keep conducting themselves inappropriately. I tire for that gender

Tamarapetty:
Oga, goan watch the video very well and understand what he meant. Yes he's rich, so what?? Can u work for God and still be poor??

YES - the Bible spoke strongly against material wealth and Jesus keeps telling his disciples sell all your material things, give to the poor and follow me.

Please go and study your bible and stop allowing fake pastors deceive you

The govt is not ready to do anything. They see it as some form of employment for the youth to discourage youth restiveness

madridguy:
Morayo should close her gutter mouth after embarrassing the man. Mtchew

I trust my husband. He is a decent man and can’t harm his children, BUT I still won’t allow him to bath my daughter.

Madam, you don’t trust your husband. Stop the explanation. You embarrassed your husband publicly and if I were him, you would be dealt with.

MRAKPORS:
How do you mean ?

Exactly what he meant

OdogwuMike:
Wow. Thanks so much Boss13 for ur logical responds.

We learn everyday, and I'm truly humbled/ marveled at ur wisdom.

You are a logical and realistic person. Truly people like u succeed simple because u let no emotional stuff weigh u down.

Nigerian's capitalist economy doesn't give room for anything other than logic, and in my case, I must use logic in making this very important decision.

Can't tell u enough how much I appreciate ur factual and emotional devoid response.

Thanks once again...

You’re welcome OdogwuMike. Focus on making money and not taking care of another man’s daughter. That’s not your job or responsibility. The love you think she has for you will dry up within seconds once she realizes that you cannot sort yourself out financially. Don’t complicate your situation. One thing I can assure you is that as you climb the stairs of success, the class of women you play with changes. Is it beauty you are looking for? Make money - Na Real Raw Angels you go dey see. A good example is Oshiomole.

I read where people see marry a decent good girl. There is nothing like that. Circumstances change people. Don’t fall for that BS.

It’s 9:50pm here. I’m glad I was able to share my experience. Good night or good morning.

HeyCorleone:
Idiots before me said Freeze is looking for attention. How?

There was a time the Catholic Church, which I'm a proud member of btw, placed so much emphasis on indulgences. It was said that purchasing such would gaurantee the remission of a soul in purgatory to heaven. This was the belief until Martin Luther challaged it. Luther was called names. You think y'all insult Freeze? I laugh. Luther was called all sorts. He was condemned by a number of clergymen. But you know the remarkable thing? The church granted him attention. Debates were held (that's why it's stupid to say "carnal mind can't understand the things of the spirit blah blah blah. You should be able to argue things out). Luther went from city to city trying to prove his point.

But perhaps the most astonishing thing is the very thing Luther fought against has found its way into Protestantism, a sect he established, which the Pentecostal church is an offshoot of.
It is producing Uber rich pastors and financially and intellectually poor members. Members who are scared to hold a contrary opinion to their pastors. Members who don't think for themselves. Worst of all, members who feel that you have to deposit with God a certain percentage of your income for Him to bless you. That is so preposterous. God blesses everyone. Don't we have rich atheists?

If you think God would do more for you because you give him a percentage of your income, then you're under a delusion.

Freeze should fire on. I'm solidly behind.

Come and tell me how you became a Jew or your pastor, a Levite, since you don't read your Bibles well.

This comment reads like what Daddy Freeze wrote

Rextizzle:
This is just the blatant truth, they only have nothing but their smelling pussies to offer you, while you waste your hard earned money on them, the real deal is to date a foreign girl and have a good life, no stress at all.

foreign girls won't ask you money for recharge card always, or money for Brazilian or Peruvian hairs, or money for buying iPhones, when you are dating a hungry Nigerian girl she will always feel entitled to your money and when the money isn't there again she will run to another mugu, guys wise up and follow the right tunnel, the earlier you do the right thing the better.

How old are you?

OdogwuMike:
I have a little questions to ask the gurus here though. It has been bothering me for a while now, and I have been pondering on the thoughts...

I have a gf, 4 years relationship, she's an average girl from an average background. The same with me.

My girl is a very good person. Over the years, she has known me so much, and I the same.

Honestly, apart from this financial issue, I honestly have no problem with her. She's a complete wife material.

But I have learnt from my experiences that love truly can only be sustained with money. Many things could have gone sour/wrong in our relationship if I never intervened with MONEY.

The thing is, she's a fresh graduate. Still struggling and looking for a job, but at this time, I have been the one virtually financing this relationship for all these years now.

The only issue right now is that I'm still trying to find a perfect footing for myself. And all these is having a financial implication for me, my savings dwindling.

I really want to marry this girl, once I'm ready, but I fear she might not be financial stable too by then.

I have personally seen my two uncles and a friend go down financially because of the marital choices they made. They are all regretting, but it's already too late. I don't want to make that mistake they made .


If u wia in my shoe, what would u do? Will u give the relationship more time, or break up with her. Cause honestly, the last thing I want to do is to make her waste her time waiting for me...

I really do not need any girl's money, otherwise I won't even be in this relationship for years now. All I want is a financially independent woman. I want the future of my kids to be secured.


Please no emotional answer, just logical and realistic responses.

Thanks.

Before I answer let me clear this up. Marrying a girl from a rich/wealthy background does not mean you would ask her for money - NOT COOL. You are marrying her because of the financial stability in her family. You are marrying her because of the connections. You are marrying her because you intend to sustain and grow wealth. You are marry her because you could learn a bit about wealthy generation and sustenances from her family. You are marrying her because you don’t want in-laws to transfer their responsibilities to you.

Back to your concerns -

I don’t know what you mean by average background. I’m sorry it’s vague. However, where are her parents whilst you are saddled with catering with your OWN bills as well as taking care of HER OWN bills. Certainly, there is only one way your savings would go - DOWNWARDS because your income is not sufficient enough for two people.

Another question I thought about is - Why can’t her parents or close family relations get her a job since she is done with school. If they cannot do so for their daughter, my brother, the same is applicable to you when you would be faced with financial difficulties.

You have also mentioned how your money was able to resolved issues and act as a sweetener to your relationship. Money is the oil that sustains relationship. Marriage is real life - that means bills. Without money, your neighbors will become marriage counselors during misunderstanding.

You stated vividly that apart from financial issues, you do not have any issues with her. Brother, financial quarrels is the highlights of all issues in marriages. Also, I observe that you intend to marry her out of sympathy and because she has been with you for a long time. MY RESPONSE WOULD BE - NEVER MARRY OUT OF SYMPATHY. YOU WILL REGRET IT.

If I were in your shoes, I will not marry her - reasons below

- You’re struggling financially. It appears that your current income is not sufficient for you and you have added an extra mouth. Don’t forget that product of marriage is kids and immediately she gets pregnant, extra bills till that child graduates from university.

- it appears that your gf background is not solid enough likewise yours. In the event of a crisis, it appears that you may be left alone with a nagging/wailing and bitter wife. A bitter wife is a poisonous wife.

Finally- go within your quiet confines and ask yourself these salients questions

franchasng:
Check my posts here on Nairaland, I am Pro-Igbo....indirectly a tribalist when it comes to politics, so yes, I am full blooded Igbo with friends cut across Nigerian tribes, and nations


I have Yoruba friends who are also in similar marriage mess...its not about tribe...its about choice...

My friend that married a girl from well to do family, my sister....the wife is a living angel...so respectful....the way she respect my guy and even us makes me wish to marry oh....despite that she is from rich family, she is so down to earth....also the one from poor family is also amazing oh I must be honest too....just the poor family background sha due to her dad died when they were young

God will help us sha....I know its never the making of some girls to be born poor....but just that our Nigerian ladies are wicked....once they have money they are wicked to guys....majority of them are, I come in contact with many of such prideful, disgusting single ladies and sometimes due to their useless attitudes and how they carry their stupid self, I just wish to treat every lady I see anywhere with the same manner, cos ordinarily, I am a very considerate and compassionate person, if u want to get me weak, work on my emotion....make me feel pity for you and I will become your mugu but if you act arrogant or like you know a lot, then you are in soup with me

My brother don’t let people make you feel bad. If you are not on the right track I will tell you. I decided to express my undiluted opinion on this because many men are neck deep and struggling for their lives as a result of their marital choices.

My brother, women are the same oh. The difference is the degree at which they trouble you. Which would you prefer, a rich problem or a poor one? I know your answer already. A rich problem, money can solve. A poor one will give you high BP.

Check social media especially Instagram - who do you see the most. Rich kids don’t flaunt. It’s the wanna Bes. Those things are normal for rich people. I am currently outside the country responding to you on a different time zone, only very few people are aware. I don’t post pictures - Why? Who do I want to impress and why should I - that’s how rich people behave. It’s a normal thing for them. It’s the wanna bes that will eat seafood and post the picture for all their friends to see or sleep in Four Point Sheraton and go to toilet to snap pictures.

When you enter airplane, watch out for those gals taking pictures - it’s their first time or not a normal occurrence for them. That’s what being from a poor background can do. A rich kid who has been flying from the womb won’t do that because it’s not a new thing.

These wanna bes women are the ones that can kill a man, because they missed out on some many things and dreams as a child. They want to relive to experience and not on their father’s bill or time, but a young struggling man’s bill. That’s why you hear I cannot date a man that will not buy me a car. Ask them did their father buy one for them? A girl from a rich background already has a car and will not pressure you to buy one for her or even fuel it. Go and read up about Female Hypergamy - you will understand better.

Free poor girls. Have nothing to do with them. In marriage, family background is KEY.

jorion:
Give this guy 2 bottles of COLD GULDER

He deserves more than that. What he is saying is GOLD to young unmarried men. If you make the mistake, you can never correct it. Even if you divorce, that woman is still part of your family through the children she would give birth to.

I know this because I’m married and 97% of people I know are married too. Don’t marry a poor girl - Avoid it at all cost.

franchasng:
My mentor, preach on sir...tell them.

Money is the major ingredient of today marriage cos we are in a capitalist, monetized world....without money love can never be sustained.

Guys should always remember, that your 300k or 500k monthly income cannot sustain you + broke/unemployed wife + broke in-laws demands + your own parent's upkeep + kids (when kids start coming).....it will weigh you down.

That's why you see guys that bought a car while singing, after they marry, they keep driving same car for 5yrs and above no change, no new building project, no new business startup, just to eat, pay house rent, pay children school fees, and the year ends and the cycle continues till kids become teenagers, then graduates and daddy and mummy have no business or company or tangible investment for them to inherit and start life with....they continue with the suffering daddy and mummy started with again and it goes on and on till God knows when.

These things are not the hand work of village witches, it is the hand work of Nigerian men indirectly encouraging Nigerian women to be lazy and dependent on men alone, it has to stop for Nigeria to grow and progress as a nation

There is no 2 ways about this. I know the level of peace of mind that I have. Nobody is knocking on my door asking for school fees or handout or forcing me to train. I concentrate on my family alone. If my in-laws are coming, I treat them with respect because they are well to do. They don’t ask for anything financial or trouble my life with non-financial issues. My discussion with my father in law is business related, even at his age, and not how to pay medical bills. I admire him and want to keep hustling like he is doing at an old age. Even there is subtle competition and it pushes you to aspire to be MORE.

If my in-laws call, I don’t dodge calls because I know they are just checking up on me or want to hear my voice. I don’t say this to brag - far from it. I consciously chose my wife from the various ladies I wanted to marry. You may not have the opportunity to choose your parents, but don’t make the mistake in choosing your in-laws.

jorion:
The probability of a man's wealth dwindling is higher when he marries a broke lady from a broke family. I have worked as a home lesson teacher for all sorts of families just after my nysc. If you see the way poor men's wives address them, you will hate marriage. Don't even try to make that mistake of thinking money is not a critical part of marriage. The best way to have peace of mind is to continually spoil your wife or home with wealth, she will forever be loyal

Most quarrels amongst poor families is money. Most quarrels amongst rich families is the other woman. Money is the most important ingredient for sustainable marriage not love. My advise is for young men. Please ladies, I’m not trying to be an A-hole, but the advice I’m giving these men is what I will tell my son. In fact I will be brutal with him if he comes home with a poor girl.

pansophist:
My wealthy uncle made the mistake of disregarding the financial situation of his wife before marriage, and that single handedly led to the breakdown of his marriage. From his wife unreasonable demands, to his in law, he even went to the extent of bearing the financial burden of her brothers in uni after their father passed away. He pride himself on being "the man" while his wife and sibling bleed him dry. Her sister moved into his place and he became responsible for her as well.

Currently now his business has not been moving fine which made him unable to keep up with the expense. The people he even try to appease disregarded him since he is not meeting up, and that single handedly broke his marriage as his wife couldn't live up to her materialism anymore.

Marry within your class gentlemen. To be perpetually broke is more of mentality and life choices than situational. Marriage should be also of an ally, the coming together of two to make a stronger one.

Classic example.

jorion:
That's if rich men are stupid to marry more than one. My dad works for Nnpc, I live in one of their complexes for years, the only thing a girl will get from a married man now is to help madam to alleviate conji, not marry. The ones who were foolish enough to take their sports serious either lost their lives, family or wealth. The younger ones have become wiser. My own dad was one of them and he lost his entire family

Sorry about that - yet again you raised another valid point for men. Poor girls/women will only bring a man down. It’s like playing with PIGS.

This thread is very important for young men - Marry wisely. Who you marry determines how far you go. That’s a popular quote. Many men fail to ask - HOW. It is the HOW we are explaining here.

kollinzgee:
Nigerian women will someday face the sad reality of life.90% of Nigerian men are broke the remaining rich 10% will settle with their class no wonder most of our girls go unmarried till they reach 30 ,its simple maths since they don't want the broke guys

.davido is one of the richest youths in the country he is dating chioma a well to do girl do you think chioma is a broke girl ?
nope .she went to Babcock university ,broke people don't go to that school her father is not even in support of her relationship with davido even with his 30billion .more to that Mr easy is dating ortedolas daughter you see what am talking about what of psquare. these guys were once broke before riches found them .mathematically your chances of finding a rich boyfriend/husband is low you may still settle for less girl abeg make una join the hustle abeg economy.

Leave out Nigerian women - look inwards. Nigerian women are not stupid, they are very smart. Don’t you see the surge in single ladies dating married men. If what you propose becomes the norm, many won’t mind to become third wives.

Your concern should be not marrying a poor girl and getting your money up.

Eberechi24:
What you are campaigning for isn't marriage but partnership. An open partnership registered in CAC. The both parties can do whatever s/he likes.
Your kind go after young girl after being married to your imaginary woman.

Madam marriage is partnership in common law for your information.

Milesrose:
That a family is well to do today is not an assurance it will be well to do tomorrow, is even better to marry an average girl who is working on becoming well to do than someone who is there already.

Story - have you never heard of the rich gets richer and the poor gets poorer. Do you think rich people are stupid?

franchasng:
Preach on bra!

Nigerian women are smarter than Nigerian men when it comes to marriage!

Nigerian ladies marry for financial security and future security while Nigerian men marry for physical beauty and useless submissiveness

Royal families and political families and long rich families use marriage to seal more financial, political and business ties while poor, average and middle-class men use marriage to incur more financial debts and problems into their life, which most times lead to their eventual future downfall and children sufferings , it has to change

It is time Nigerian guys start to marry right.

Stop going after poor ladies who are financial burdens just because you assume she will be submissive more than the ladies doing well financially, its all fallacy created by we Nigerian guys and by Hollywood films

They have to know. That’s why I support your opinion 100%. I never married from a poor background and it was not by chance or love. I swore never to do it because I have seen the finances of good men go under. I have also swore never to give birth like they give award for the number of children one has. When I was a bachelor, I dated - rich gals, poor gals - and there are not different. In fact the poor ones have too much problems and were so demanding financially. You can’t blame them. Imagine playing the role of a lover and a father at the same time. Why take up the role of a girl’s parents? It is this stupid ignorance thinking that has put many Nigerian men in financial bondage.

Women are smarter than men when it comes to picking their spouse. Many men don’t ask what they intend to get from their marriage. If you do the maths - when two people come together and the family income does not change upward, that’s a fall in financial capability and that means there is a net decrease or demerit for that man after getting married. Add family wahala to that and kids - that man is destined to struggle. No be witch or village people Na who you marry.

I wanted to use a real life experience to exemplify this line of thought but out of respect for the people concerned, I decided other wise.

NEVER MARRY A POOR GIRL FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. DONT SAVE ANYONE OTHER THAN YOURSELF

franchasng:
I am very humble and ordinary in real life oh, my future wife is a very lucky lady if she behaves

Honestly I no get wahala, always happy and smiling but don't take bullshit especially from ladies cos I grew up around guys

Chief don’t allow people discourage you. You are on the right track. There are certain things I want to say but out of respect for the concerned people involved.

jorion:
I am sorry to burst your bubble, girls in general come with a lot of baggage, whether rich or poor. So your train of thought is invalid. What is more important is to what extent would those baggage affect you. And believe me, poor girls with baggage can't be tolerated

Comment from an experience man. Well said. The attitude of a poor girl and a rich girl are almost the same. Why suffer yourself some more by picking a poor girl, that’s double wahala. Better to tolerate a rich girl than a poor girl. In fact Na the poor ones dey disturb pass because they would use you to accomplish those missed childhood dreams and experiences