₦airaland Forum

She is not too small for you as she is an adult, but I have just one question for you. Have you agreed with her that that the two of you will get married? My reason for asking is that u don't want a situation whereby you spend your resources in training her through school and at the end she disappoints you.

My brother I have read your long dream and understood it. The girl you saw in your dream that you introduced to your people is not the person for you. She knows this that is why she is behaving the way you saw her in the dream. You have to be careful not to marry her or have anything to do with her as she will put you in trouble. I believe that the person you should be considering is the girl working at the shop in your street who was affected with your condition in the dream ie your arrest by prison officials. Your dream is a revelation concerning your life. PS: Before you get married go home to your people and find out from your uncle what you need to do before you get married.

I will say I am disappointed in you for calling yourself a Christian and asking such a question. What happens after you both take your pride and you don't marry her. People don't understand that virginity is a covenant between two people sealed with blood and such covenant is best kept for your wedding night. Don't fall into a trap that will eat you up for the rest if your life. If you truly love her and she also loves you then forget about taking your prides. The final decision is yours to take as you are the one wearing the shoe.

lanzar:
Yh I agree she is a good girl but at the same time, I cant tolerate seeing her flirting around and she is still expecting me not to talk!

Are you sure she is flirting around? Can you prove to me beyond reasonable doubt that she is flirting about with other guys? From your story it is clear what are dealing are and also what her intentions are, I don't see any reason to doubt or fault her. If you think she is not telling you the truth then make more money than what you are making currently and I am sure she will gladly go out with you.

You have nothing to worry about. She is a good girl and really loves you that us why she is acting the way she is. There is nothing suspicious with her behavior as she is plain with you and is telling you the truth. You are a very lucky person to have such a person who loves you with all her heart not minding your finances. It's now left to you to treat her right and love her more in return. Don't mess with her emotions or break her heart as it will be difficult to get another girl like her.

tanyah0001:
I'm angry at myself too but what I can do. Just have to accept and move on

The mistake has been made and there is nothing that can be done about it. So take it easy on yourself and try to be careful in your next relationship to avoid the same thing from happening again. What you can also do is let who ever the next person you will fall in love with know that sex cannot and will not be a criteria in your relationship with him. That is what my love told me and I accepted wholeheartedly and we are happy.

I wish you good luck in every of your endeavors to achieve what you want.

My dear sister this your issue is indeed a painful one. Your boyfriend is not being sincere with you at all. I believe he is seeing other girls. You said he visited you to spend the week with you and started acting strangely. That's an indication that he is involved with other girls apart from you. My annoyance with you is that you did not keep your virginity. You gave it to him with the hopes of having a good relationship that might lead to the alter. Now look at the outcome. I always say this to my girlfriend that if she was a virgin till we met then I will do everything in my ability to see that she remains a virgin till our wedding night. My advice to you is that since you have suspicion that he is cheating on you and is not willing to remain with you, then let him go and move on with your life.

This your case is indeed a critical one. Your husband has been doing this same thing even before getting married to you and I believe that he is not into the fraudulent act alone. He must have friends who are into the same thing and have not been caught that is why he feels lucky to be involved in such. I am not sure he is ready for a family because no man in his right senses will indulge himself in acts that will jeopardize his family. You have tried your best as a wife to appeal to him to come out of his fraudulent activity and take care if his family but he is not ready to do so. He has a plan which he has not yet actualized and is focused on his plan. My advice to you is that if you feel you have tried all you can and cannot continue, then move on with your life as you planned.

chiraqDemon:
I cant remember any right now but i think there were some (not very sure about it tho) ill mention them if i can find them.
Thank u for airing ur views and for adding to the discussion pool

You are most welcome, and thank you for raising such an educative topic.

In my opinion whether you are angry or not it is not right to beat up your wife. There are other ways of punishing her that does not have to be violent. It is better to explore such areas than to beat her. Most men beat their wives up in front of their children, thereby teaching them the same evil habit.

chiraqDemon:
I saw that place, but the problem is that when he went ahead to talk about what he considers as relatives he clearly defined very many examples but left out the cousin. And there were some examples of ppl following mosaic law marrying cousins in the bible.

I will like you to site an instance on who in the bible married their cousin. As far as if is written in the bible concerning close relatives, you should have understanding as to who is your close relative. If you can have sexual relations with your cousin then it means that nothing stops you from having same with their mother. It's as simple as that.

The issue is both a complicated one and an easy one. In my opinion I will like you to give her a little time then call her attention to what she complained about.

My brother I like your question and will gladly answer it. Having any form of sexual contact with your cousin is both biblically wrong and socially wrong. From the biblical point of view look at Leviticus 18 vs 6 you will see what is written there. Your cousin is your relative and according to that verse you are liable if you commit such. Looking at verse 12 and 13 if it is unacceptable to uncover the unclothedness of your father's sister or mother's sister, how do you think it will be acceptable if you do such to their children. Socially, having any form of sexual relation with your cousin is seen as an abomination as she is your blood and that can lead to drastic circumstances like death.

I have read through your write up and have a question to ask. In your opinion, what type of boyfriends do we have in Nigeria?

From what I read I can say that you did not have any problems with your former girlfriend who is now married. The sister on the other hand is if the belief that you have problems with her. Now the only way out is making out time for her to meet with you and make sure you clear her doubts as to the subject matter.

This is indeed a very touching story of what happens if you marry a bad wife. He tried all his best to bring peace into his home but the Jezebel of a wife did not want it. She said her mum advices her to do such a thing and now the result is out. He is dead. What did she gain from all she did, what will she tell her children when they ask her what happened to their father. Now she is a widow whether she likes it or not. I pity for the family of the man. God keep his soul in paradise. As for the you the mediator, you tried your best to preach peace in his home but she refused the peace. When you see her ie the wife ask her if she is satisfied with her achievement of driving her husband to and early grave.

I understand what is happening here. She intended on sending the nudes to her boyfriend and mistakenly sent it to his mum instead. Why should she send her nudes out in the first place. What did she stand to gain if it was sent to the right person. The only thing left to do is to forget about the boyfriend and continue with her life as she has spoilt her relationship by herself.

From your write up I can deduce that you do not know what you want for yourself. The young man you are currently dating has never done anything to wrong you in any way, the only problem you have with him is that you feel his family is controlling him. You also feel that it will be long before he will propose to you. On the other hand another young man who you called your ex, is rich and ready to marry you. He became your ex for a reason and under normal circumstances should not be in contact with you for anything relationship wise. I saw that the main reason for you considering him is that he is rich and has cars with houses. If he did not have all this I know you would have thrown him away for a long time. The only thing I will say is you have to be careful in the decisions you take because it may either make or mar you.

Rosemary i believe that you are the architect of your own problems, how can you date 3 guys at the same time? There is no way of knowing which one loves you as you have not made the right choices. You need to decide for yourself which you want the most and put him on a scale to know if he feels the same way you feel for him.

For this issue the only thing I can say is that the woman in question does not know what she wants in her marriage. How can you tell a guy who paid your bride price that you do not love him anymore, it means that she did not love him from the onset. She must have agreed to marry him for material things and not for love. The only thing I will say is that since she has scattered her home by herself, she should not blame anybody for it than her own self. The man has every right to react the way he did and there is no law stopping him from looking for his happiness. She should be ready to look for the person which she loves and let this man go.

My Sister I need you to understand something. He told you that he is in another relationship with another girl and that he has two children already. The only thing I will say in this issue is that he may be telling you the truth but is not doing anything to prove to you that he wants only you. He said that he wants to give you a ring so as to put your mind at rest that he will marry you, but how are you sure he has not done same to other girls? If indeed he wants you then he should do away with other girls and concentrate on only you. You have to be careful so that you will not fall victim of pain and heart break.

There are 2 ways of seeing this, the first one is she might still be nursing a feeling for you and don't want you to know. The second one is that she came to tempt you and put you in trouble. Since she said it is over between the two of you, I will like you to maintain what she said and resist any form of temptation from her.

Her reason for wanting to break up with you is very genuine and you are the cause of your problem.

My Sister you need to read the hand writing on the wall and see for yourself that the risk is not worth taking. He is into an illegitimate business that involves using computers and does not want to involve you so that you will not know what he is doing for a living.

Please try as much as possible to return the money back to her. She made up her mind to forget about you, so do the same and move on with your life.

My brother the girl in question was not dating only you, she had another guy who she needed more than you, that is why she acted the way she did. Now the guy disappointed her and she on her own ended your relationship with her. She became lonely and decided to get back with you. The ball is in your court, you need to decide what you want for yourself.

In this our country and other countries I believe that paying of bride price is essential and compulsory. You cannot just marry a girl without paying her bride price, if is not done so. What you should have said is that you are appealing that bride prices be reduced. For instance, when my sister got married the guy was given the list of things to buy and told to bring N10, 000 cash. On the day of her wine carrying he brought all he was told to bring and the only cash my dad took from the 10, 000 he was told to bring was 1,000 and returned the balance to the family of the man. So as far as marriage is concerned bride price must be paid.

My brother I understand what you are saying. After reading through her reasons I deduced that she is afraid of commitment, reason been that the guy she dated earlier disappointed her. She does not want to take the same risk of giving out her heart to you because of what she passed through. She admits that you are the type of man she needs but cannot give herself to you. So I believe that the best thing to do is grant her what she wants and continue with your life.

The truth is this, there is no way that relationship would have lasted because of the distance. The guy knowing that, decided to use her error or mistake to leave her for good and has done that. So please advice your friend to forget about him and continue her life.

My brother I don't know why you are complaining about your age and marital status. You say you are 30 and single and still scared. Well I am 32 and single and not scared.

Paul it is better you saw the type of person she really is. How can a girl in her right senses knowing that someone is ready to bring her into his family as a wife, do such a thing? It shows that she is not ready to settle down and also she is a very wicked person for killing her unborn child. If you go ahead to marry her then you have decided that you are ready to face what ever thing she does in your home. How are you even sure if she will be able to conceive and give birth to another child after flushing the last one? The ball is in your court so decide how you want your life to be.