₦airaland Forum

eazzzy1:
We encourage rape culture by not teaching women to report cases immediately.

We encourage rape culture with words like ‘nobody has the right to rape you even if you go to his house naked’. Rapist are criminals they don’t care about rights.

We encourage rape culture by bullying people to silence with accusations of being a rape apologist. If we want rape to end we have to engage in these conversations.

We encourage rape culture by absolving girls of all responsibilities towards preventing rape.

We encourage rape culture with words like ‘no means no’. Action speaks louder than words. You don’t want sex with someone don’t lead them on and then say no at the point of sex.

We encourage rape culture by shielding relatives who rape.

We encourage rape culture when the police cannot bring rapists to book.

We encourage rape culture by thinking the rules, guidelines put in place to prevent it are backwards, uncivilized and meant to cage women. Organizations like deeper life, covenant uni etc have been shamed over and over because they prohibit any kind of unnecessary mingling between genders.

Asides violent rape like Uwa’s case, rape of minors, Armed rape/ use of weapon most rape cases could have been prevented.

Lastly, the authorities really need to step up, the greatest deterrent to rape is when the rapist knows he will get caught. Also the rhetoric that females are better brought up than their male counterparts in Nigeria needs to stop immediately.

Claps.

Good one.

Midadeola

I don't know why you me mentioned but:

If the lady is scared to report immediately it happened when there is fresh evidence that can be gathered to keep the rapist off the streets, what does she want to achieve 15 years later?

If 15 years ago she didn't think justice would happen despite the fact he was a nobody, why does she think justice would happen now he is rich or influential?

And finally, this poster asked a very poignant question: why do you want the rapist roaming free to strike again? What if the next victim never survives it? I assure you that the victim's blood would be on the head of the earlier girl raped that keeps quiet to talk years later.

SenorFax:
You would rather allow the rapist to roam and rape other victims by waiting till he's successful rather than report him immediately.
That's selfishness
Others might not survive what you survived.
Uwa will still be alive if that rapist was reported and arrested earlier cos I'm sure that might not be his first victim

Omar09:
It's quite a pity we failed to see that this girl kept doing the wrong thing for a really long time that it felt right. It was just a matter of time for her to take correction, which she did, but can no longer implement it (rest her soul and may her killers be brought to justice).

To those arguing the existence of God on both sides (whether he exists or not) should understand that doing the right thing, in the right place and at the right time goes a long way in keeping one safe. And like physics taught me, nothing is ever 100% work efficient. But 60% one puts goes a long way in keeping one safe.

Our government failed us in providing security does not mean we should fail ourselves in giving ourselves security.

N:B for those emotional train wrecks that will come at me with "I am just a rape apologist" should ask themselves this question "what happened when I was in a place I was not supposed to be and in the wrong time"?

What was she doing wrong according to the story?

ModestGal:
Hmmn, tears filled my eyes for UWA. RIP girl

But I'm still wondering how no one saw it in a day time, and is it possible that it was only UWA in the church? What type of Church is the church? By now, I think many people should be behind bars already, when they arrest every, someone would talk

Maybe questioned.

The rape emotions blinded people to see it was a murder and not a rape case.

Questions that should have been asked from the beginning.

Who is the boy that comes around? Was he around that day? Did he see anything? Does she have friends? Have they questioned them?

What about the people living around the Church? Do they see her regularly? See her with other people? Was it only the boy coming to church when she was there?

What time did she leave the house to come randomly at 2pm, 5pm or 6pm?

Did she go to the church every day? Was there a timetable to it?

Was the door of the church forced open?

Questions and more that need answers.

dominique:
How they generate profits despite their zero interest loans is what I'm curious about

I was about to ask o!

Ori family people ti gba le.

Kenplay:
This simps are ruining are our society, the redpill is working but the rate of simp men in the society is still 90%.we need to do something, our society is falling apart. Where is the pride and dignity of the men folks?

A guy doing a public proposal to marry a girl and even publicly begging her to accept his proposal. Men have lost it, the F gender folks are now so entiletled because the knows simps are everywhere.

One just posted this morning about what to do about his double dating girlfriend, I felt like smatching my phone on the floor then I remember its a 50k phone. Men has lost control, the f gender has taken over. We now do the complain while the do the control. In that same thread one useless guy told him to just stick around and enjoy the punna, WTF!!! Is this how low the men folks have been reduce to?

How can a man spend his time schooling and hustling and after he succeded and meet a girl will now tell the girl “Am lucky to find a girl like you", what nonsense, she suppose to be lucky to find and not the other way round. I see men hustling and sweating just to bring the spoils of war of their hustle at the feet of a woman. A man will succeed and abandon his parents and siblings but all his hustling is going to a bitch. What is happening?

A girl will post on social media and the simp cartel will give her 1000 comment and like within 5 minute with comments like you are pretty, bla bla bla even flooding their inbox with useless messages. Where have the pride and dignity of men gone to? What happened to the dignity of manhood? What is happening?

Men have ALWAYS hustled to bring the spoils of war to the women's feet while the women hustled to turn the spoils of war into beautiful and refined output:

Your concern should be getting resourceful women again and parents teaching their kids to place a premium on themselves aka having healthy self esteem.

Also don't confuse someone's campaigning tactics (wooing/courtship) to how their tenure/regime (relationships/marriage) really is.

While Nigerian men can grovel during election, they bid their time till their tenure starts and show their true colors: not usually pretty.

chiommy123:
what's wrong in treating others the way you want to be treated? truely parents have failed in their duties. anybody that mentions redpill should be arrested cos they're indirectly supporting rape
SHM

How does redpill indirectly support rape?

Romanoff:
Looks like what they do after getting a divorce is to buy a new body.

Package the building for new tenant.

From Ini to Toke then Tonto Dike, now Yvonne.

I can't tell if Chika Ike was ever married.

Let carry my aproko and be going.

Na real package the body for a new tenant

Simi/Gold/Falz.

Right angled triangle.

75% of cases she is handling involve religious leaders

Hmmmmmmm.

Uwa..... Church.

Saintmary:
Evil man
Son of Belial
Disgusting, demonic, demented, mentally unstable individual.
Scum of the earth.
You fox
You wolf
Wild untameable beast
Repent of your evil ways.
You will end in the lake of fire where the fire burning you will not quench, where worms will feast on your body while you watch if you don't repent.
The wrath of God is upon you.
May the spirits of Uwa and all dead rape victims never rest until all perverts in this country have been punished.
Repent.
I don't know if I'll get banned but........




Lavvylily
Bukatyne
Cococandy
Pocohantas
Ujujoan

See devilish man oooo

For him to think of raping a 11yr old when the OP is concerned about her speaks volumes of his home training and mindset.

madjune:
How old are you both?

Hmm. Don't know how to deal with this but, i could reckon you both might be products of these new private schools on Ibadan express.

First, when you go through school, reading to pass exams and have good grades; you lose out from the education of life.
And you'd have nothing to contribute when life throws the first tests at you.
Start by telling your boyfriend your observations.

Secondly, either get him to watch more CNN, read TIme magazines, get on Twitter. Etc.
Let him immerse himself in current topical issues.

Thirdly, push him into the streets.

@bold:

Hahahahahahaha

Ariza:
It's just my nature.... dunno why. I find it difficult to ask anyone except my immediate family members for help or accept gifts without thinking twice.

I prefer to give

You need to learn to receive joyfully for a beautiful relationship

Ariza:
The truth is I've learnt bitterly from two experiences that MEN love to spend to spend on their Women. To them it's like a form of fulfilment and relevancy reason why most assume the roles of father immediately they enter a relationship. Forget the redpill and all things guys type here, it's opposite offline and op is really projecting reality.

As one who hardly takes gifts because I feel it kind of subdue someone to some form of indebtedness.I go to relationships with the "He isnt responsible for me" mentality and I don't ask. I will rather call my parents or Sister if I'm pushed to the wall but I learnt the effect this has on guys I'm dating the hard way. One told me, I blocked every form of his existence,and made him feel useless and accuse me of "probably getting my help elsewhere" The other didn't even say anything, only found himself a Barbie doll he can decorate with gifts. While to me, I was only putting them first.

The truth is Men love to be leeched on. It gives them joy when they share their stories. I'd be foolish to think otherwise. I've learnt the hard way. I even came across Ubunja thread on How a man's heart is where his money is.

See ehn, I will ask ooooo. since that's how you all feel important.

@bold:

The point Ybaby was making on the other thread.

Men like to improve and fix the lives of the women they love. It might not be money, but they like to know that you are better than they met you.

It gives them joy.

Ybaby:
Marry a new man nigbayen..... tell him baby's father died in Sambisa.....

Only it is the Sambisa in between her legs

AmIaYahooGirl:
Hello Nls,
I'm not really someone who listens to what people say but I just want to share this so that y'all can air your views.

I'm a young girl , 23 and an orphan, dropped out of school and came to Lagos to make ends meet. When I first came to Lagos, I stayed with a married female cousin of mine, along the line, the husband started making advances to me which I politely declined. He got angry and told his wife to throw me out of the house, and yes she did.

I was thrown out of the house without anywhere to go and as someone who has survived losing both parents at such a young age, I literally lived and survived in the streets. Did all sorts of menial jobs, hawked purewater, soft drinks,worked in a bar and all that before I finally got an apartment.

The story isn't quite necessary but when I get talking with people and I tell them that I stay alone, next thing I'll hear is "you're too young to stay alone... it's not a good idea...blah blah blah. Some older woman even told me to go back to my cousin's house and beg them so I can continue staying with them, another told me that it's better I stay with my boyfriend than staying alone.

I really don't understand all these talks, like despite all I've been through, isn't staying alone the best option? Or is there something wrong with staying alone as a single young lady?

Your humble opinion is needed, thanks

If you are earning an income that can afford you rent in a decent area (not gbas today, gbos tomorrow, one million boys next week, PHCN carting off the wires in two weeks,) you are good to go.

Ybaby:
Yea it does!

It is why men may marry very intellectually smart wives when they are poor but once successful they will step down to women with average IQ but who know how to make a man feel masculine and strong d these men will refuse to let side chic go.

Reason : intellect never made a peniis hard.

Men have two brains and once successful the dominant brain is the peniiss.

Dont believe me : just observe your surroundings

Starter wives are used for ladders and trophy wives are pampered.

Starter wives are intellectual and know how to help a man succeed and trophy wives know how to make a man beg (does not mean she is daft but she does not lead with intellect when with a man - she leads with femininty)

A woman should aspire to be both.

Intellectual for herself

Sexy for her man

One guy calls it queen vs princess concept

A princess is pampered and are the trophy wives.

A queen is matronly and are the first wives when the man is coming up.

It is also the wife he needs vs the wife he wants.

A woman ought to know what her husband needs and be it per time.

To thread,

1. True and too much choices bring confusion

2. No wonder I find lies very very very difficult

7. Very true. And unfortunately, people are fast loosing their moral compasses. There is a difference between fornication is wrong however, I do it and fornication is not wrong.

8. Red pillers nailed this to a T. I would research further to see if it works for only low self-esteemed people

10. They have always said 'dress how you want to be addressed.' 21st Century new schoolers have told us to dress how we like, nobody has a right to address us as we dress . If you dress like a LovePeddler or tout, I would see you as one. Afterall, you have the freedom to express yourself as you wish and you chose LovePeddler, tout, agbero etc.

12. The benefit of well balanced two parent household always shine through.

13. Which is why I advocate spouses to be very very transparent on their needs and wants. Marriage is too long to put up a front.

14, 15, 16 18 & 19. Gbam!

20. Hmmmmm

20 THINGS I HAVE LEARNT ABOUT HUMAN BEHAVIOR
1 Humans love choice because it gives them an illusion of control but once a purchase decision comes with too many options, people will simply not buy anything. Too many choices affect the ability of many people to confidently part ways with their cash.This is especially for my business people out there. Give customers too many options, service offerings, solutions etc. (usually 4 and above), you stand a higher risk of loosing that customer.

2 Telling a lie requires 5 times the mental effort required to tell a truth. Lying takes more mental space because even though they are lying, they always need to remember what the truth really is.

3 Risk-taking behavior is not a thing that has a life-wide relevance. For instance, your male friend who could drive from Lagos to Abuja all night and alone between 9pm – 6am might be scared of talking to beautiful women.

4 People who seek out advice from other people end up influencing the person they are asking for advice. This is a great point for pastors, lawyers, therapists, counselors, teachers or other individuals who are in positions where they offer advice to others. There is a level of openness required to genuinely assist a fellow human and whatever you open up to has the ability to influence you if they know how.

5 Women often times argue with people they actually care for and less arguments occur when there is little or no existent care. Fella’s please note, arguments aren’t always an invitation to a fight, it’s sometimes an invitation to solve a problem.

6 Visibility and Immorality are Inversely proportional. Simply put, the lower the odds of getting caught, the higher the chances of indulging in immoral acts like vouyerism, murder, envy, theft, rape etc. All immoral acts require less visibility to be perpetrated.

7. Again on morality, i discovered that our habits and general behavior have profound effect on our morality. For instance, a man who hates hard-work will naturally gravitate to anything else that will bring in resources without work even if it’s crime. On the reverse, a woman who receives gifts from externals without it being payment for a “legitimate” service rendered will most likely plunge into deeper levels of immorality if that is what it requires to sustain the “gifting” events. The habits and behavior we develop as human beings affect our moral state and marriage, a loving relationship or religion does not change those. It only changes when the human being involved decides to change. This is for the amazing soft-work boys, slay-mama’s, sisters & queens. No judgement, just stating the obvious.

8 As twisted as it sounds, one of the ways of getting the attention you desire from someone is simply by ignoring them. The human response when faced with attention withdrawal is to fight it’s way back to regain the attention. This is especially true in scenarios where the mind believes that attention was withdrawn without any logical reason. This usually happens in both sexes. Something that’s hinged on a “coquettish” trait.
Coquette – This is a romantic give-and-take that can reduce the most heroic individual (usually men) into an insecure shell of their former self.

9 Amidst a group of individuals displaying any form of emotion/activity (weeping,entertaining, laughing, jubilating etc), human beings usually tend to concentrate more on the person within that group whom they feel closest to. This is simply because the human psychology by nature loves predictability and familiarity. Only the psychologically secure human will venture and pry.

10 Most human beings consider themselves great judges of character but 95% of humans will ALWAYS trust an ATTRACTIVE and HONEST appearance more than SINCERITY. No matter how long it takes before they trust, humans most times trust attractiveness and honest appearances over real sincerity. The down side to basing your trust on attractiveness and honest appearance is that most humans spend all their lives cultivating a persona that fits perfectly into their social everyday life while suppressing their real “Shadow” self.

11 Human beings who are prone to ANGER are usually more susceptible to COVET something that belongs to someone else. The same passion it takes to become a go-getter is rooted somewhere between envy and anger (see my post on this topic). For many people who may not have discovered how to positively turn envy into a positive motivating force, their envy develops into anger which could morph into anything else like hatred, murder, defamation, black-mail etc.

12 Intimacy of any kind is loved by the human brain. This is simply because human psychology interprets physical and emotional intimacy as a form of validation. Validation that makes the human in question feel, wanted, desired, loved etc. So we notice that for individuals who were deprived of emotional intimacy by their parents, they either go to an extreme where they deny their need for intimacy by manifesting overt strictness, masculinity and prudish tendencies. Others on the reverse side become walking emotional wrecking trains ready to jump into the arms of the next available person who promises intimacy. Relationships work when intimately balanced individuals come together.

13 70% of human beings are almost NEVER as disciplined as they make others believe they are. They simply perform and behave better when they know they are being watched. Discipline is a personal journey everyone takes on their own volition because if not, it could become an entire dance of hypocrisy.

14 Human beings who have low self-esteem are more likely to humiliate others & pass quick erroneous judgement especially if they have the support of others or can hide among the crowd and throw their voices.

15 Human envy always begins as admiration. This plays out in the relationships between a lot of celebrities/public office holders and their followers. Citing Point 9 above, people gravitate towards celebrities/public office holders they can either identify with his life’s path, identify with his craft or one they can live out their fantasies through the celebrities/public office holders life. When these celebrities then fail in some regard (outbursts, scandals etc.) these same fans turn around and becomes their worst critics. This is the reason many individuals follow celebrities/public office holders whom they despise just to be the first ones to know when they (the celeb) make another mistake.

16 ATTRACTIVE human beings are not always SINCERE as many erroneously believe. They charm their way through career and life as the people around them are taken in by their looks. This is not a point supposed to make anyone feel bad for being beautiful or handsome. It’s just a point i am looking at from the perspective of the person(s) who concentrate more on looks rather than the individual.

17 When in public, humans are less likely to help other people in dire need but rather they would prefer to be a part of the crowd watching. In psychology this is called “The Bystander Effect”. Have you seen any of those viral videos of an accident or incident where human beings are standing, recording with their devices or simply shouting one word repeatedly rather than helping? That’s exactly the point. Humans will not help you if there are other people around and the more people you have around an individual in need,the less likely that individual is to receive any form of assistance.

18 When a human being asks you a question that they usually do not ask or a question that’s a sudden departure from their norm, the chances are that they already know the answer to the questions they asked. They simply just need you to help them tick a mental checklist (whatever it is for them). It is your responsibility to decide on telling the truth regardless of everything else.

19 Humans who keep their goals hidden from everyone else are more likely to succeed. This act by itself provides them with the motivation to succeed as they constantly fantasize about their big reveal when their goal(s) have been achieved. This is an advice to the flippant conversationalist. Physical Interference is high and in some cases spiritual (yes this is a possibility because many scholars have introduced a psychological aspect to spirit-ism). So in essence, stay hush and keep pushing.

20 Human psychology has revealed to me that giving respect to your fellow human being does not necessarily guarantee that you will get that in return. Human beings don’t respect people, Humans respect power, strength and influence. If you are perceived as weak, you most likely won’t get respect from as many people who you expect it from. This does not make the humans who dish out this disrespect bad or uncouth, it simply makes them human because at the end of the day it’s all about the Darwanian theory of “Survival of the Fittest”.
As always, i hope this piece on “20 things l’ve learnt about Human Behavior” helped someone. The more we understand our fellow human beings, the less stressful we find it to improve our social intelligence skills. Knowledge they say is power but i say in it’s right application lies real mastery.
https://templeobike.com/2020/06/06/human-behaviour-and-what-i-learnt-from-it/

Ybaby:
She can give the baby a compound name using the two fathers surname.

Ok seriously DNA

There is no father to do DNA testing with.

TheCongo2:
And let us be realistic. There is a huge difference between a men who sleeps around and a lady who does the same. A man can sleep around via the polygamy channel. As for a lady... she can do the same through prostitution. So which one of the 2 is morally acceptable?

You quoted me three times on one post, ot must done you strong thing.

To justify your stance, you have muddled up three unrelated concepts:

1. Polygamy: it is when a spouse most likely a man married multiple spouses if permitted in the culture /religion. I know Nigerian constitution treats polygamy as bigamy which is punishable by law

2. Adultery: it is when a husband /wife has sex/emotional relationship outside their marriage

3. Prostitution is when a man or woman exchanges sex for money.

So your assertion that a Man sleeps around via polygamy while a woman does via prostitution is F9.

Husbands and wives committing adultery is same until pregnancy enters. The difference is in your head and culturally. Which is the justification you guys have over time to be comfortable with cheating on your wives.

Religiously*, there's no difference. It is the same hell if unrepentant.

Remember, that God cannot be mocked; whatever you sow, you will reap.


*Christianity.

Tillatalk:
First while must she checked his phone its an offense and secondly let her check herself maybe she is the cause of his cheating .. something always trigger a man to cheat

It is an offense for a wife to check her husband's phone/ facebook

izzou:
[color=royalblue]That girl is too young to start ruining herself

I don't think I'll be able to mind my business, if it was me[/color]

Mind my business ke?

Ningen:
We all have a responsibility towards building a sane society. As her employer, don't turn a blind eye to her promiscuous lifestyle. She's just 21.

As such, sacking her wouldn't solve anything.
What she badly need right now is sex education.

Your wife can take that responsibility.

It's a step forward if she learns from a woman about the dangers of promiscuity & unprotected sex. Please do that for the sake of humanity.

Oh!

Thank you! Thank you!! Thank you!!!

Acidosis:
Abortion and philandering apologist. Come and infect me with STI as a result of philandering and see whether I won't get you screwed.

Hahahahahahahaha

Now this is funny!

Saw someone was a Christian Apologist. Being Christian is no longer enough.

We will all mind our business till our brother brings home the serial abortionist and street LovePeddler.

Or our sister calls the professional heart breaker her sweetheart. Or we know he has sweet talked several girls to their doom.

I have realized that some discussions are not worth my time on SM or in real life.

There is a proverb: Were dun wo, ko se bi lomo. 'it is fun to watch a mad person dance however nobody parays for his/her child to be mad.'

And it plays out over and over again in SM and even offline.

Every business minder will do so until it affects them directly.

Modified:

Glanced through a few pages of the thread and it was sad.

Hopefully, the OP does the right thing.

If that babe dies in his store, there is no soap he will use to wash himself.

Acidosis:
You want people to talk about rape and 419 but you don't want anyone talk about the evil that people commit in the name of relationship? Things like lying to obtain abortion money, forcing married men to raise bastards, multiple dating with unsafe sexual life and other "private" affairs that force men and women into life threatening ailments and crimes.

These are the kind of things you anti-moralists don't want to talk about but always quick to jump into discussions on rape and black life matters. Why don't we just leave the rape victim and her family in Benin to fight their private battle? Na my rape?

If one of those boys discover her attrocities and then go ahead to revengefully rape her, of course, you would expect the mumu boss to carry the matter on his head on the social media. We have an example of a "mumu" boss in the delivery man v. LUTH case.

I have not read Sales girl thread.

But I agree with you.

Anytime you hear 'mind your business', you can be 90% sure it is something immoral.

Well, not surprised.

In the last days, the love of many would wax cold. They would be lovers of them selves.. Etc.

Scholar94:
Let me simply advise u on how u can help him. It is as simple as giving him a topic u will like to discuss with him prior to the day u guys are gonna meet. Of course, u will have to do that with maturity. I use this trick to carry any lady I found interesting to talk but who might not share similar interests with me or perhaps are not that current. Trust me he will do anything to make sure he holds his points before u guys meet if truly he's into you.

U can follow this format;

ME: (just in d middle of discussion), This incident of George Floyd really hit me. I can't still stop thinking about it he lost his life just like that

SHE: George Floyd?? Who is he?

Me: he is an African American murdered recently in Minneapolis in USA by a USA police officer. He was accused of spending fake $20 at a grocery store. Americans and their racism!! I'm sure the guy was murdered because he's black

Her: (crying emogy)...

Me: I'm even thinking we talk about this when next time we meet.

This might look like ya forcing thing. But really to me, it is not. We are simply bringing out the best in each other. It is almost impossible to find a partner that will fit into all u want. U will have to build the castle yourself!

@bold:

Solid!

petra1:
Apologize for your bashing na



Jesus was close to Martha and Mary . Anyone could have read meaning . Yes some did , like davinci code movie.

A man of God does not need to consider people opinion to do what he has to do. As long as he's doing it with pure mind

It's the other person judging that need purification of mind .

Other measures such as " dont counsel female or dont counsel female alone . Will not be a solution . There will be cases others can handle for the pastor but there are cases he has to handle by himself. He is the one God called . Some people can never open up their problem until they talk to the Pastor. The matter may be too confidential.

He should discuss all private matters in the Church office with doors open or the main Church itself.

It starts from the Pastor's carriage. If a Pastor carries himself with self-respect and dignity, fewer people will have ideas or misconstrued his care for flirting.

The pastor should also maintain a friendly and professional relationship with his flock.

budaatum:
Give her 1k every month. You and your's will be blessed.

How did I miss this?

Hndrrxxx:
I guess we need answers to this questions first

People asking questions after all.

The herd mentality can be very sickening.

If the Church had doors which would be locked, someone gave her the keys..... Who?

The people that entered, how did they get in?

They must have been assured that nobody else was going to come in at that time. Meaning they had info that she would be alone at that time.

Have they picked up Livingus Eleme who stated she was dating two cultists? That is a strange assertion.

So many questions....

SmileDance:
I don't think they are making excuses tho, nothing justifies what happened to the poor girl but I think people are just curious to find out what and what really happened, this is necessary in order to bring the perpetrators to book.

Thank you.