₦airaland Forum

Bola146:
Yes especially on this nairaland, I met a guy, he lied that he is a single father of one, until i found out that he has 4 daughters

FatCock:
You are as guilty as the man the moment you engaged in pre-marital sex..

LordKO:
She's just lenient with her statistical appropriation; conversely I'll say up to 98 percent of married women cheat, or have penchant to cheat. The major difference between most married women who cheat and most married men who cheat is that unlike the men who are usually crass with their action, women usually gloss their own action with disingenuousness.

Omuneizzy6:
I lost the both

Tominix:
in a sane country it is okay, bt not in a backward economy where perverts are waiting for an opportunity to see booby

cococandy:
Good thread.

I like the opinion of that guy who suggested it might be because they don’t understand what goes into the work. I want to believe they (some of them) are not mean/cold hearted but just don’t understand what it takes to achieve what they are asking for.

Another reason could be finance. People need to learn to shop within their budget. Like someone who wants to start a business but only has 150k (For example). Instead of him/her to do a business within their budget, they want a full standard website and all the frills, thus offering peanuts to website creators and stuff like that. And if you don’t accept the offer, they think you don’t want them to succeed.

And of course there are many who are just mean.

Sterope:
Some people found out that it was lies. Social media stuff.

Donald3d:
Nigerians are very good at under-pricing labor and effort , trust me, dem full here for Nairaland

One said he wanted an e-commerce website job done , to be built from scratch , this would take me like 2 months at least, baba said his budget was 20k, I asked him if he meant 200k (even though this is still small for the detail he wanted), he typed it in full "Lol, I mean twenty thousand Naira oo "

I have plenty stories like this, one wanted an android app and wanted to pay 3k, I kid you not, job of at least 2-3 months and he was serious !!!

I charged another one for an app of 4 months or so, he asked me if we wanted to buy land , insinuating that "is it not ordinary app" .

This is why almost everything around us is mediocre, most Nigerians don't understand the value of things, the annoying thing is, some so called wealthy people also do this.

An average developer in other countries, earns nothing less than $15k-$50k per month.Those are people who understand value.

I heard of a Nigerian tech company, the man collected millions for a project and paid the developer that did the job, if I remember well, 30k !!!! ... Some people will not make heaven in this life, no be curse.

This is why I chose to go freelance, I can choose who I work with. No matter how broke I may be, if the amount you want to pay isn't worth the stress, I politely turn you down...I learnt the hard way that the cheap people are always the most problematic...And its like that every where, cheap people have a very nauseating sense of entitlement. One client was even threatening me after I did much more than the client paid for even after I did other free extra work on top of the work and stress that wasn't even worth the price paid, just so I can keep a good name .

SIDE NOTE: If you work freelance, or provide any service, ALWAYS have a signed agreement of the list of features and price to be paid, if you think only service providers are dishonest, think again, some customers are scammers too, they would lay claims to something that was never agreed upon, for the same cheap price.


We can do better.All this acts stem from selfishness and self-centeredness . We need to become more selfless and put ourselves in other peoples shoes, "If it was me, would I like to be treated this way " ?

lekki1444:
I have discovered that Nigerians like to take advantage of each other and especially the poor and i find this very disturbing. its like kicking a man when he is down. Here are two scenarios that i witnessed

1- So i parked my car in an estate in Lekki. It rained so hard on this particular day like 4 weeks ago. So i woke up and went to get my car and the inside of it was full of water. So i went ahead and used a towel to mop out all the water but i couldnt get to the water trapped underneath the carpet and after a day the car started to smell funny. So i called around and found a car wash place that said he would do it for me. I asked the guy how much he said 7000 naira. I looked at him like really ? to run a hot vacuum over the car floor for like 5 to 10 minutes is 7000 so i said all i had was 4000 and pretended like i was about to drive off and he ccalled me back and said he would do it for the 4000. So i sat down and watched. First of all i noticed that the job was taken on by 3 grown men, and secondly i noticed they took out all the back seat andd front seat of the car. they literally gutted the car to get to the water in the chasis. And then i notiiced the job was going on for like 2 hours. After observing all this I started to feel guilty for beating him down from 7000 to 4000 because i saw all that was involved.. Me i was thinking it was just a quick blow dryer job. So I called the man aside and said i was sorry for beating him down from 7000 to 4000 and that i didnt know it was that mucch work invvolved.. i said i would not give you the 7000 you asked for i will give you 8000. and he and the 3 guys were extremely happy when i gave them the 8000 after the job. Now while i was sittinng there waiting for them to finish a guy who was sat beside me called one of the hausa guys who do manicure. The hausa guy did this guys manicure for close to 30 minutes and you can look at this hausa guy and see that he was suffering. the hausa guy asked for only 200 naira for a 30 minute job and this guy started shouting that are you crazy ? i will pay you 150, now take this 200 and go and bring my 50 naira change. the hausa booy hadd to go around looking for 50 naira to give this guy. i mean someone spent 30 minutes of thheir time beautifying your nails and you cant just say here is 500 naira keep the change ?

2-Case number 2 - I was trying to move into an estate and the estate manager called a carpennter to come and fix the door. the carpenter travelled all the way from Ajah to Lekki phase 1 to come and fix this door because it was a sunday and there was no one else to do it and i was desparate to move in on that day. So after this guy travelled that long diistance and fiixed the door, the estate manager told the guy that he doesnt have money o jare makke you manage this 150 naira. Apparently they have a rapport going and have been working with each other for long and are friends but to givve smmeone who travelled from ajah to lekki phase 1 and who fixed a door 150 naira is an insult

i have noticed this disturbing trend amongst nigerianns of just undervaluing each others labor and taking each other for granted and just using each other as slaves and not respecting each others time and labor. why are nigerians this demonic ?

Sterope:
If only you people will ask questions

Some get hypersexual after rape, some don't. Different personalities, different ways people process trauma.

The girl is lying though.

calberian:
Apparently, a gofundme was opened for her and she’s been properly rehabilitated.

There’s still love in the world afterall.

rockstarB:
Your point 2 makes me remember Yvonne jegede. In her bid to appear like a woke modern woman, she made her son bear her ex husband's surname and also her dad's surname in her mind, the boy is also bearing her name, she has forgotten the name 'jegede' is her fathers name and not her own.
She could have just named him Xavier Yvonne fawole

AlexF:
Just recently (last 2 weeks), my girlfriend broke up with me and gave no tangible reason, we have been planning to get married. I kept pestering her for the real reason she broke up, she just keep on saying the relationship is not going to work out.
Just yesterday evening, I asked her again, she said she broke up with me cause my best friend always beats his wife and I would also end up beating her when we get married. I don't know how she got to know my friend beats his wife, but does that mean I would also be hitting my wife when we get married. I have never been a violent person, I am so disappointed with her, we having been dating for long and she doesn't know who I am.

addictiv:
It all boils down to money and power. Whenever you hear this kind of talk just know that the woman's family is wealthier than the man. If the man is richer, she won't even think about it... Infact she ll quarrel with anybody who is telling her not to adopt his name

UniQue84:
Madam I can relate totally with what you faced sometime ago, I was just laughing, you see when you are not living your life to what people expect of you especially when all of them do a particular thing and they can't really decode who you are they hate you for it. When we moved to Lagos me and my brother, we rented same flat but he later relocated to Abuja leaving me there cos he was transferred.

My brother is the kind of guy that can bring two women in one day to the house one in the morning & the other at night, and talks for Africa also he has his ways of relating with everybody in the neighborhood, he was also this type of guy who likes to please the Jonesses. Nevertheless, he is still a good guy and that's his life and non of my business.

But I am different, am an introvert, but not a saint, a church guy, fashion guy, music guy, futbol guy, movie guy almost had knowledge in everything with all humility, I will be all churchy dressing one month and the other month kind of a yahoo guy of dressing, according to one lady she said and I quote, " you have this appearance going for you and I have not seen you with a woman in 2years in this area, when I asked her why she likes me.

I wasn't pretending at all I drink occasionally inside my house ( red wine mostly my favorite), don't smoke but cook with weed, nobody except one boy in my neighborhood has entered my house in 2years not even my next flat neighbor, they hated me for it, always dress to kill cos I was once a model.

You see one weapon I have been using to defeat thier gossip, jealousy, hatred and all had been silence, as they say it is the best answer given to a Fool and ontop of the silence I will be smiling and still have respect for elders greeting them anytime I see them morning, afternoon and evening. I so use this weapon to the extent I can enter a commercial bus travelling to a destination of 7 hours I won't say a word after greeting those beside me, this same man can talk for 4 hours unhindered cos I am a motivational speaker and was once a teacher.

You see people don't like those they cannot understand, especially when they don't have information about u, they just get angry with u, madam pls continue to use this weapon it works like fire. It has helped me bring down mountains even in my relationships.

I have a fiance and she is based in Europe, infact we are waiting for this yeye CONVID-19 to go cos she has all the papers so that we can be together, they will wake up and not see me again forever.

That's life it pays to be a private person, ontop dem go dey fear u join cos dem nu understand u and the only major weapon for this is SILENCE.

Have a nice time ma.

TimmyEEE:
My elder brother has a girlfriend whom I can call his fiance , because our parents know about it and they are getting married very soon

We live very close , his girlfriend's parent house is directly opposite ours,so she comes to our house virtually everyday

It happened that last Sunday , the girl, her younger sister , her mum , and my mum had to come home together after the Church service. Both mums were carrying bags , her younger sister collected from her own mum. Courtesy demands that she collects the bag from my mum not because she is her mother-in-law to be , but she is also well older than her mum. She didn't collect the bag from her.she once did the same thing and I heard my mum reporting her to my dad.she does other things that show she doesn't have respect for my mum

This one she did last Sunday got my mum to report her to my brother and I was even surprised that my brother couldn't even say what I expected him to say. He was like " she(my mum) should have called her and correct her rather than coming to him"

They ( my bro and his girlfriend) went somewhere together on Sunday and they came back later at night. He actually told her about what my mum said.when they got back at night
, they both went inside the room before she could even come out and beg my mum( she didn't even kneel down)

Since then, my brother hasn't been talking well to my mum.I wonder why.

Also,I expected the girl to come and beg my mum to show she was actually sorry , but she didn't even mention about it

I'm really pissed off right now
What do you say about this please?

realtalk19:
My dear,I have pack well and am minding my own business. Just greet and pass. No talks. And it's been so peaceful for me since then and has also stopped her from coming to ask for things.

realtalk19:
Do I know you?

Vyzz:
Everything sister



No woman would refuse to pick up the name of a wealthy man




The thought of answer Mrs Zuckerberg or Bezos or gate only will make any woman cum

Omoluabi16:
Lemme get this straight. Her kids bear their daddy's first name, their daddy bears his family surname, while their mom bears her maiden name. 3 different last names?

Ariza:


Funny enough those two may last longer than any sensible person will think.


Naso them go rock themselves till death do them part.

ZeroShenanigan:
I didn't blame her but I have to tell everything as it happens. Her own reasons was she thinks she was pregnant before the marriage, she was in love and ready for marriage, and She can't stand the shame of calling off the marriage. Plus encouragement from her sisters.
I am taking good care of her as expected, but the flow is no longer there. She even frown at sex for some time, and I was not bothered also about sex, until recently when the doctor told her she will need it at this stage of her condition.

Fountainofyouth:
I'm a Christian o, but pls go and sleep, the Bible that said prevention is better than cure isn't stupid, God cannot be mocked.

LewsTherin:
You weren't strong enough to resist the presure when you decided not to go ahead with the wedding, what makes you think you will have the strength to go through with a divorce?

Even worse, God forbid the child is SS, would you have the strength to care for YOUR child?

Dude, you need to work on yourself first before blaming anyone else. You need to KNOW what you want and stick with it. But you also need to know what you are responsible for and to and stick with that toom

ZeroShenanigan:
I'm above mid thirties, finished NYSC 2015 and i just secured a government teaching job after spending more than 3 years teaching in private schools. I met my wife earlier 2019, she was in her final year in school, we dated throughout the year and planned to get married after she graduated. She graduated and we make a move for our introduction, then we suggested to have the marriage before she go for her Nysc so as to enable her serve in our home state as I already have a rented apartment to start a small family.

As we were planning for the marriage, we were also planning her NYSC. She was required to have a medical certificate for the NYSC which of course required blood test including genotype. She came back with the result of her genotype as AS. That was the only time I remember to take genotype issue serious. Even if I have some little knowledge about it before, I decided to research more about it on the internet and also met some of my friends who are medically inclined. I came to realize my own genotype test is also important at that moment. I might have done the test in school but I didn't pay attention to it usefulness so I don't remember the result.

I don't usually fall sick except for normal malaria when there is mosquito bite, never had a drip line in my body for once, never slept in a hospital bed, I don't have any reason to take note of my genotype or blood test.

Her results then prompt me to have my own test done too which came out to be AS also. By these periods we have convinced our families to choose a date for the marriage so that we can have the wedding before her NYSC. Marriage is to hold in a week time when I got my own genotype result.
From my further findings about AS and AS couple, I discovered how risky it is for their offsprings. I tried to explain to her but she turned a deaf ear, she alleged me of trying to break her heart at that critical period. She reported to her sisters they tried to blame me but I make them all realized it's not my fault because throughout my visitation and introduction to their family nobody has ever ask us about genotype. I am an orphan, I don't have any closer family to guide me except for my sisters who can't wait for me to get married because of my age, they also had never thought of it as well.

My wife sisters gave us some examples of older couples who were both AS with only one or no sickler among their children. My wife also made a threat of killing herself or she kill me if the marriage didn't hold. She even suggested we proceed with the marriage and break up after few weeks of marriage because of the shame that may follow if we stop the marriage or maybe she was desperate because of the marriage certificate, I don't know. I maintained my stand of backing off the marriage but she reported to my sisters also. Her sisters and my sisters later tried to encourage us to go ahead with prayers since we have chosen the date. We were advised not to disclose our genotype result to anyone again because people will discourage us.

Even though I was skeptical about the marriage, it later commenced with less spending because the Nikkah was held in a mosque and a tent for refreshments.
After the marriage we tried to talk about it, and she told me, she was afraid, may be she was pregnant before the marriage that's why she insisted on going ahead with the marriage. She also revealed to me that she was not happy with the decision as well, means she also know the implications but she have to avoid the shame of stopping the marriage after inviting guests to the occasion.

During these period genotype before the marriage, my love for her reduced drastically because of her desperation and her refusal to understand the risk we are about to take. I tried to avoid pregnancy from our first month of marriage but I later gave up and she conceived immediately. Now she is closer to her delivery. We hardly talk or play together inside. We only discuss about feeding, maternity and things to get for the coming baby.
I discovered we quarrel over little things that can be over looked by lovers. I'm not happy in the marriage, I spend most of time watching TV or stay outside all day because of unresolved issues.

I'm planning to arrange for a divorce after she delivered the baby because this is my first baby and I would love to have 2 or 3 kids more. I can't take the risk of allowing any of my children to be a sickler.
Advise is needed if my plan for divorce is a good one and do I stand a chance of loosing anything?

freethinker01:
Though I'm a freelancer but if I were in such situation, I'd outrightly refuse.