₦airaland Forum

Okpa042:
If I was hausa, I for don marry get pikin tey tey

cos the kind of konji I have no be here.

What is stopping you from marrying now?

faithfull18:
Exactly, the women always @ the receiving end of everything.

Ailing parents and parents in-law, the woman does the caring but when the woman needs care...hmmn .

That is why they need to invest their youth in husbands who would stand by them.

Beautiful shade of blue.

God bless their home.

truthsayer009:
Hmm good explanation. My eyes just opened to the time factor involved in having kids. I used to think women might fancy polyandry as a pay back for polygamy but now i see it wouldn't even work them too.

It's a Fail Fail for both.

Polyandry as a payback for polygamy is as stupid as a wife/gf cheating because her husband/bf cheated.

Sleeping with multiple men is different from marriage to all of them.

JustAwesome:
Would love to hear your opinion and thoughts on it � especially if you are truly female

If I am truly female?

Do I sound male?

I like the OP's classifications.

It is left for every girl not to throw her pearls before swine and it is left for her every guy to decide what he wants before embarking on a relationship.

Quality20:
that's probably one reason they have so many unmarried women, divorcies and widows

I remember Kano State Government one year doing mass weddings for them.

I think their men are just interested in their virginity and youth not a wife as they acquire younger wives in addition or divorce the 'older' wives and start all over again.

pocohantas:
Your husband is only being human. Not everyone can handle a mentally ill partner, even though we all hope to have a partner who can do that for us.

Most times I have seen sick married women- they were always shipped back to their parents house for proper care. The ones with elderly kids were moved to their sons house. Nothing new there. How it changed the dynamics of their marriage is what I don't know. However, they never ended their marriages.

@bold: true.

Most married men however were cared for by their wives.

I never knew these cards where personally made.

I thought they were for a cause like orphanage homes etc.

Interesting thread.

What a thread

olabrinks:
Very sad. Abortion is terrible and wrong.

It is.

Quality20:
Hausa ppl normally claim dat a man is never too old for a lady

Toor.

The ladies are excited because they do not know better/different and have no one to look up to.

Hausa girls also become undesirable to their men very quickly.

A 23yr old girl is considered too old for marriage.

Quality20:
I'm currently in sokoto and most guys around are marrying teenagers and even d girls are more than happy to be married at such ages, such that they and their friends party so much, and d single girls among would b like trying to woo men around to propose them

How old are the guys?

Alooone:
I got married to my husband in 2013, we are blessed with 2kids (a boy and a girl), in 2017...barely 2 weeks after giving birth to our son I was diagnosed with puepurium psychosis...a kind of mental illness that afflicts women that have just given birth and since it has been from one medication to another...now since after my diagnosis my husband has been a source of emotional, verbal and physical abuse... He blames my parents for everything as he feels "cheated " feeling that they knew all about my "sickness " before we got married and kept it from him..... He felt I was a liability and was too young to carry such... There was nothing my husband didn't do to frustrate me... So around June this year I left my home to my father's house and have been there since, ...now since I have been there my husband hardly calls when he does he wants to speak with his children...he doesn't call my parents to ask about my well-being or that of his kids...sometimes I feel abandoned...now the issue is that the love I have for him is beginning to reduce sometimes I feel like letting him go and starting all over...other times I want to stay cos I think of my children's future.
....as for the psychosis ALL the symptoms have gone as am typing this now I have a job with a small private school and planning to either proceed with my masters or start a nursing programme
so please I need your advice should I let him go

If he has not verbally indicated interest to end the marriage, give it a second chance.

He has told you his pain point: he thinks your parents deceived him into the marriage.

You both need to go for therapy and clear his grievance.

You can get medical journals about your condition and connection with child birth, the symptoms and solutions. Also arrange for him to speak with your doctors on the causes, triggers, solutions and after care.

You should also be medically certified that you are fine.

Goodluck.

Chef2000:
Thanks I always pray after each dream.

Still talk to your spiritual leader.

truthsayer009:
What is your take on polyandry though, do you think Nigeria women can cope in reality? It would also involve giving birth for 2 different Men living in same house.

I know Men cannot cope.

Sometimes, culture bends people to unbelievable shapes. There are cultures where women marry multiple husbands and they make it work.

My take:

The living arrangements is the least of their problems.

An average man does not want to share the woman he really loves with anyone. He wants to be the center of her universe and her go to person. He wants to possess his lover for himself and to himself. Wants to be the only one who knows what a particular smile or chuckle is.

Also because a womb is more 'expensive/ valuable' than sperm, polyandry is impractical. A man with 5 wives can get them pregnant within a week and they carry the baby for 9 months. A woman with 5 husbands will use a minimum of 5 years to produce a kid each for them. If they decide to have 3 kids each, that is about 20yrs dedicated to child birth, nursing 20 kids etc.

The wear and tear will be epic!

So for a man to willingly enter into polyandry? What is the catch?

Chef2000:
I don't know why but I keep seeing this guy in my dreams, though we were so close when he was alive (we usually go to set trap for bushmeat when the two of us return to the village when he was alive)


Before his death (a truck hit him and he died at the spot) I had a dream and I saw the two of us walking on the road, I hit my feet on a stone and fell down and he was unable to lift me up and I was asking him to lift me up but he was unable.


He died in june 2018 since then I have been having dreams about him which I do forget immediately I woke up.


But last week, I saw the two of us clearing weed in a farm and this morning I had another dream where we (his junior bro and my elder bro) were laughing and joking together, eating and drinking together.... he later went and wore my clothe in the dream, he wore the inner side of the clothe..


Could this be a message or a coincidence.


Cc lalasticlala mynd44 seun.

The dead has no business with the living.

Please pray and tell others to join you in prayers.

crackhaus:
Lol, what a crush.

The same Bukatyne who used to be a staunch card-carrying member of NL's Pseudofeminist & SJW Club, in eternal enmity with me...
I quite remember being taken aback the first time I noticed you had dialled down and your posts started becoming more 'enlightened'.

The utter dvmbness of those accusations are not even worth a baby's fart.

Very funny at the bold.

I still do not know what you mean by pseudofeminism nor have I been a SJW.

All my threads have actually been controversial however, I wasn't very open about my stance on certain issues.

While I have never supported some things e.g. homosexuality, I was more on the 'as you please' side of the divide.

I stumbled on this article by Matt Walsh and it resonated with me: I did not want to be seen as close-minded so I was not too vocal about them.

I even created a thread out of it and resolved to be more vocal. It was also the year I would be 30 so it was part of my self-actualization goals.

Someone asked me if I changed church on a thread. Sad if people couldn't pinpoint my stance on certain issues earlier.

I have also stumbled on some posts of posters I never agreed with and realized that most posters (myself inclusive) read people's posts with previous fracas and conclusions without absorbing the specific post in front of us.

Some others even leave the issues at hand and tackle previous issues. Most read to respond and not understand the poster's particular point.

So I learnt to focus on what the poster is saying at that point whether I think he/she is anti/pro a particular stance.

I remember advicing a poster to follow doitforyou's opinion on a thread because it was brilliant. Doesn't change my opinion of her/him though.

I also engage to better understand and change my stance on housewifery for instance.

It has been all good.

http://www.dailywire.com/news/22991/christians-america-arent-close-minded-or-matt-walsh

Bbbwings:
Mtchew

Are you the OP's alternate moniker or the ex?

ahnie:
We're shinning in light and brightness!
I suppose you are too!

We are, thanks.

A year with a lot of wins and a few low lows.

sassysure:
I don't even know who the person is.
Just loved the meme

Hahahahahaha!

sassysure:
Believe me, I wanted to spit fire on this thread until I saw brother
My mind did somersault
Of all the people here on nairaland, u better call me sister sassy too.

I know u have been on both sides of the coin with him for long but u really don't know crackhaus at all

Brother, i hail o

Sister Sassy

I like the sound of that

How will I know Crackhaus kwanu? No bi Nairaland all of us dey?

My dear, whatever people claim to be here, I relate with them based on that here and log off to my life outside.

pocohantas:
Download any Westlife album.

You will need it in these turbulent moments.

Hahahahahahaha

crackhaus:
Of course, the life involved the ladies...but now that I think of it, I never actually dated any of those chics I knew as being 'out there having fun'. They were good and fun to be with only on that "grooving" scale, but when it came to dating I always dated the ones who would classify under your category of not being exciting enough.

I honestly don't know what they saw in me.

Maybe they wanted to live the life through you. Which makes them technically same as you

And the fact a lady doesn't drink, smoke, party, club, change sex partners like underwear etc. does not mean she is boring or not exciting.

Let's just say I pursue pleasure with a conscience.

Anything pleasurable without being morally wrong or a sin, count me in.

ahnie:
You eeh
Good p. m sis!

Wetin I do?

How are you and family?

SBL28:
I'm divorced and I've been celibate for 3 years. I'm not going to jump into another marriage just because I want to have sex.

Fair enough.

Do you want to explore a sensual massage (without happy endings) + a good Love Machine as opposed to sleeping with a random person.

My thoughts.

sassysure:
Brother crackhaus

O ye of little faith

Is this not the Gucci Pastor?

cooooooks:
These newfound 'laws' quickly get discarded.

Look at the US, the fiery faux feminist sexual purity that ostensibly claimed that women had no agency and are always a step away from being raped has subsided greatly.

Fewer women under the age of 30 call themselves feminists in today's generation partly because of this.

Yep! The ladies are seeing that the extreme feminism that deviated from equal rights for men & women to legislating biological differences failed their mothers.

They are now coming back to their senses!

Articles daily complaining that no men to marry no more or focusing on their careers at the detriment of marriage made no sense especially as they still engaged in casual sex.

Funny that Nigeria is just reaching the height which would soon crash.

Gentlelife50:
At what point then?
Lol

Keep reading your Bible.

isyourboy:
Both, madam. madam, Both.

I have come to realize asking women out spoil the show and give her the power to fling things around as she wishes. Have what she's looking for in a man and watch her doing the chasing

Yes sir!

truthsayer009:
Ouuuuuuuh! How did I miss this? Mama the Mama.
Bukatyne & Crackhaus would not be a bad idea at all, For real yo!

Guys, I'm already booking a Luxurious space @ Radisson Blu Victoria Island, Lagos. Crackhaus please hit me up for the keys!

Jokes apart though, I like both of you.

Is crackhaus interested in becoming a second husband?

I prefer virgins though