₦airaland Forum

Truest:
for speaking up & begging for money online, they said I am a cheap corporate beggar & lazy man. if u see my posts u will be so ashamed of my life. I have seen all d troubles of life. I ve done most menial jobs & also lost all my past labor & toil under d sun

but I have been in dis struggle for 15 - 19 years. will I ever come out of it ?

You will if you keep pushing.

It is well.

Luvlyna:
I used to feel sorry for guys who I felt some ladies left because they were probably still struggling and trying to find footing
Most times when I see some of my male colleagues or friends like that, I just advice them to leave girlfriend matter first and make money. I do not even understand the heartbreak and pain they feel until something similar happened to me, and I've never been more depressed than before.

Me and this guy were dating in 2017 while I was serving, we had issues and all my begging was almost in vain, even when he made plans for us to see at the end of that year, one issue came up and he just cancelled it, he even told me that I would not get a good job and I told him he wasn't God to determine my future.
So we separated. All through 2018, we barely communicated, not to talk of seeing. He stays in one of the oil producing states, while I came back to lag after service.
So I just channeled all my energy to looking for a job, every graduate trainee job or customer service job(I have experience), I put in my cv. I was being called for many. Some I won't pass the aptitude test. So I starting as a contract staff in the bank that was recently swallowed up by another. But because me and my brother was there, one had to leave, I opted to go because being a contract staff wasn't even the kind of job I wanted. I felt bad, but I didn't let it stop me.

I'm going to label some companies A, U and K
Along the way I got offer in U bank graduate trainee and I also got offer from A bank graduate trainee banking school. And even in the process of K consulting recruitment.
So the A bank after-training school offer looked bigger than the U, so I chose A. That was my greatest undoing. I could have just started my job in U and hopefully wait for K.

Training school in A bank was very difficult, you could be removed at anytime. Every day was a struggle and I wished I never chooses them, I have always been an arts student and being exposed to that amount of calculations was something else for me. I cried every day. During Xmas, this guy whom we barely spoke throughout the year until I started training school, invited me over to his place. Since we were in xmas break I decided to go see. I still loved him and cheating wasn't what caused our issue, it was just us not understanding ourselves, what we liked and didn't. And we hadn't met physically for long, I later got to understand that the very minute of issues can cause problem.

I went to meet him, and he was all so lovey dovey, started talking about the future, about how it was important for one's spouse to be working at least to contribute to the home, and that was his kind of woman he's looking for now. Fast forward to when training school resumed early January, I go bad news that I had been withdrawn due to me exceeding the number of carryover or resist one could have.
I cried, my career, my future taken away, after I ditched another career path for this, I felt naked. Everybody in the house tried consoling me. I still had one more interview with K, so I went for it on Val's day, they didn't even wait till I got home before regret mail was sent to me. I didn't make it. I slipped into depression. It wasn't easy, where will I start from. I gave one full year looking for job and I lost it.

In my sad and depressing state I summoned courage to send out my cv. The guy started acting like help, he wanted me to do a course in project management to increase my chances, he was helping out in the kind of interview questions to expect. Last month I went to see him, and I regret that decision to go see him.

He wasn't all so lovey dovey like when I was still in training school. He reminded not once about how I intend to finish his money. The day I left his house we were almost not on talking terms.
It has not been easy. Now I have started to learn how to sell things online while I still submit CVs and contact people that I'm still looking for work.

Now I have know how it feels when you're looked down upon when you are still struggling, but the good thing is that no one struggles forever.

Thanks for enduring this long post guys

Oh my darling, you have the spirit, you will succeed in the end.

And while you are at it, ditch that guy.

He is not yours.

cococandy:
Thanks gorgeous

The Imam should be ashamed of himself.

He had the opportunity to correct/preach to him yet he allowed mammon to blindfold his eyes and even has the guts to tell us.

cococandy:
What will others eat

The one who did it before will do it again

@Bossjakande.

A man is the head of the home hence linages are mostly traced on the patrilinearly.

A man finds the woman he wants to build a home with, share common vision etc.

I am sure that is where the agreement ofour definition of headship ends.

I do not understand the unquestionable demigod persona Nigerian people keep painting in alignment of the Bible.

All through the Bible, not once did I see a man take a decision alone and the one person not sure ( same Abraham we all parrot) asked God what he should do.

The position of headship is not a privilege to do as you deem fit: it is a call to lead your home to righteousness, train your children and be a godly example. A man who cannot boldly say 'follow me as I follow Christ' has failed as the head. After all, it is the duty of the husband to wash his wife clean. Is he going to do that with hands stained with adultery, pride, hatred, gross irresponsibility, lack of provision, lies, spiritual darkness and malice amongst others?

Even the role of training children is the fathers' hence God did not question Eli's wife when the children were unruly.

As per provision, apart from financial provision (where they decide what they want), it is the duty of the husband to lead his family to Christ through prayers, teaching the word, his stainless conduct, constant discipline (in love) so they are not frustrated and impeccable attitude. He should also provide emotional stability, mental stability and his genuine show of love which will naturally boost the family's self esteem.

He should also be able to provide sound advice and decisions for the good of the home.

He also provides security of love, affection etc. which helps their emotional growth.

A true head is also trustworthy as that is the only way his wife can fully submit to him.

A wife should submit to her husband, yes. This submission (putting him first) is in response to his love as st(putting her first) . The kind of sacrificial love a husband is expected to have towards his wife and family, only her submission /respect/love/ putting him first would be a balance for it.

This strange cultural expectation where the wife is the spiritual pillar, moral pillar and financial pillar of the home making men figureheads that has crept into the church MUST be destroyed. That is actually what keeps destroying our homes and children turning out wayward.

If you want to go cultural, go cultural. But if you claim to be the head biblically, better be ready to do what He expects of you.

The demonic practice of women running about praying for men who should give them peace and be their priests is just that, demonic.

Nowhere was it recorded that amongst godly households, the wives were running about praying for their husbands.

The ones recorded praying did it together.

.... Every man proclaim of his own faithfulness:a faithful man, who can find?

alBHAGDADI:
A godly woman won't try to usurp her husband's god-given authority simply because she brings a percentage to foot bills. She's is helper.

Buy an ungodly wicked rebellious woman will suddenly become puffed up with pride simply because she rendered help in footing bills.

If you don't Accord your husband the respect God made him deserve, your children too won't respect him. How can you teach your children to have respect for him which you do not have? You only give what you have.

A godly man would be the head indeed.

portplus:
Waooo... have never thought of these options.

Thanks!

MLM-Multi Level Marketing----she is a docile person.
She have invested some funds in some packages like that. It did not work

What does she really want to do?

Let's forget all external influences and lay the world at her feet.

All things possible, what does she really really want to do?

cococandy:
Been meaning to share.

So excited to have my new kitchen ready.
The builders took their sweet time.

But the long wait was worth it.

Lovely like you ma'am.

cococandy:
Chicken curry and fried plantains.

Go get your rice or yam.

Can I just take the pot of chicken curry and plantain?

That way, I don't need to get anything.

[quote author=GentleMoney post=77907192][/quote]See the wife's complexion.

And some morons would bleach to white.

Whatever happened to toning to caramel or chocolate?

Kudos.

While I agree wives should respect their husbands, it is best this woman and others like her think deep.

For starters, wives and husbands call pastors daddy and their wives mummy.

Except the woman also wants men to call their wives mummy based on her premise, she is not making sense.

Also, the pastor-husband comparison would continue until husbands learn to be like pastors... Seeing the best in everyone, patience and giving hope.

Funnily, that pastor might just be a husband to his wife who is also seeking another 'pastor'.

[quote author=wwwkaycom post=77891017]The new twist is that Clara had become too sensitive and would suspect every thing her husband does, she wants to have foreknowledge of every steps and moves Dave makes, she want to control everything about her husband. Where he goes, who he relates with, she didn't even want to see any member of Dave's family in their home, she has not hidden his disdain for Dan from day 1 of their marriage, in fact, she once told me she hates everyone in computer village including Dan, her brother-in-law. She want to determine who Dave helps, what he donate to church, family and friends etc. Dave have vehemently resisted these attitudes of his wife. Clara told their senior pastor last week that she didn't know her husband's investments and worth and that he spends money without carrying her along as his wife. She also accused him of having extramarital affairs with one of his workers named Juliet whom they both knew in their church before Dave employed her as a warehouse manager. Dave denied the allegation, their pastor who was instrumental to Juliet's employment had to wade in before Clara would agree and calm down. Clara's mum is another big issue in their relationship. She was the one who taught her daughter never to assist Dave with her money when things weren't going on well with him. She often narrates the nasty experience she went through in the hand of Clara's dad to her according to Dave. The old woman told everybody who cared to listen including myself in the presence of some pastors from their church last week that Clara made Dave and that he was a pauper when he married her daughter in 2009. She said all men are the same, that men will always deviate after "their wives" have struggled to help them rise. She even said she told Clara not to marry Dave because of his background, she said poor boys cannot be trusted, that they'll always misbehave when they become comfortable. I heard all manner of things from the woman that day, too bad! That woman is very difficult as I can observe and Clara didn't do anything to call her mum to order even in the presence of her pastors and myself. Clara even told everyone in their house that day that I know how she took Dave out of the dungeon of poverty and made him a real man, a statement that looked more like someone narrating a dream to me, I had to be reticent though, thank God the people there, their pastor and his wife knew about almost everything from the beginning. Dave and Clara has two boys who are now 9 and 7 year old respectively. Hello, nairalanders, why are some women so complicated like this? When Dave was poor, it was problem everyday, now that things are picking up for him, its wahala. Dave now stays more at work than at home against his wish. He goes to work on Saturdays instead of resting at home. Sometimes, he'll go with his boys whom he love to be with so much. The business has helped him to explore opportunities abroad especially in China, Singapore, Indonesia and some European countries where Sade's dad had business alliances. Dave told me he is always in the haven of peace anytime he is abroad. Clara that we used to know as a gentle and easy going beautiful lady of our university days have become a thorn in the flesh of my good, quiet and easygoing friend Dave. This thing called marriage, na wa o. Can you please drop any matured advise for Dave dear friends? Thank you so much.


#concluded![/quote]Bros, are you Dave or Dan?

Unfortunately, Clara had an image of marriage she did not unlearn before entering into hers.

She needs proper counselling (not Church) so they can dig into her foundation, make corrections and build her up again.

Until that happens, there will be no peace in the marriage.

She doesn't have a behavioral defect; she has a structural defect.

Hahahaha

Typical Nigerian daddy

I bet that Timi will not change much

dachilino:
Vicky Zugah, the Ghanaian actress who was in the news after she disclosed she loves anal sex, has stated that any man who claims to love independent women is an opportunist.

Vicky Zugah who in her video stated that any man who claims to love independent women is an opportunist, added that  such men end up visiting their ‘independent’ women empty-handed and also eat meals prepared by the woman in her house, bath with her water and also use her air-conditioning system without supporting her financially.

Here is her video below;


https://unclesuru.com/2019/04/26/any-man-who-claims-to-love-independent-women-is-an-opportunist-vicky-zugah/

I don't know about them being opportunists.

I just know that most men who claim they want 'independent women' are not willing to pay the sacrifices to support them.

PapaNnamdi:
no husband no child




see Mary see Jesus





wetin concern me

Bro receive sense.

She has four kids (a girl & 3 boys)

zynzyn:
I have been pondering on this subject for a long time?

Does marriage benefit men more or women?

I have my own opinion, but I want to hear other informed positions!

Thanks!

Can you explain the benefits referred to

Read the full story.

I think they are better off apart.

This is one of rarest cases where both parties agree with the divorce.

Happy birthday to you.

She looks beautiful and her children lovely.

Their married has lasted 20 years.

I am amazed the way acclaimed Christians quickly dump the principles of the Bible when it concerns women in marriages.

Let's forget why the wife nags and agree she does.

Where is the place of continuous forgiveness and prayers for change while the husband is showing love towards the wife?

Does the pastor even know the work of a husband or is he holier than Jesus who keeps forgiving?

This pastor would also have his vices yet expect his wife to forgive because she is the wife not because they are Christians.

Na wa.

This woman has saved Akpororo's lineage.

See fine, clean children.

The guy get foresight.

ugbedeojo1993:
yes sir

It is well.

ugbedeojo1993:
He went for December Retreat programme at deeperlife bible church, sabon gari zaria

Has the church been contacted?

LilMissFavvy:
Pretentious born again, so called holy ghost filled husband snatcher well done. I don't diss ladies, but I feel bad this lady snateched her colleagues husband.

Was the husband lifeless and senseless on the floor?

Offpoint:
I trust that most be a Yoruba man, his name is Joseph Olugundudu Kareem.

Hahahaha

Married to a Muslim and has a babalawo uncle.

enshi:
Most often than not, offenses like this attract bareness

Then she has escaped the punishment.

She looks good however, I wonder why she would go against the culture since it is a strict dress code.

ugbedeojo1993:
[url][/url][url][/url]my brother by name AMOS Akor has being missing, since last week friday in Sabon Gari, zaria, Kaduna state. please if found contact the following numbers.

08140406084
08174294334
07030475429
08101536028
08182634122

oh God, redirect his footsteps�[b]my brother by name AMOS Akor has being missing, since last week friday in Sabon Gari, zaria, Kaduna state. please if found contact the following numbers.

08140406084
08174294334
07030475429
08101536028
08182634122

oh God, redirect his footsteps�[/b]my brother by name AMOS Akor has being missing, since last week friday in Sabon Gari, zaria, Kaduna state. please if found contact the following numbers.

08140406084
08174294334
07030475429
08101536028
08182634122

oh God, redirect his footsteps�

Where was the last place he went? People he was with? Intended activity?

Have you checked police stations and hospitals?

It is well.

Tallesty1:
What happens to the drug when it gets to the passenger's destination? Somebody else will come and claim it or he does that just to set them up?

Heard they have another ring at the destination who would retrieve the package.

If it becomes messy like this, their loss.

iGist:
GistMore.com

The younger wife, Ajoke to Alaafin of Oyo state slays in Arabian outfit. She wrote;

ARABIAN QUEEN OF OYO EMPIRE.
2pcs set @truworthfashion
Styled by me.
She was Afraid that I don’t want your husband wahala o.. How will u wear it?? It will open your body o.. I said don’t worry..

See more; http://gistmore.com/alaafin-of-oyo-younger-wife-ajoke-slays-in-arabian-outfit

All covered up and still looking enchanting.

theoptimist298:
Eheen. One Feminist don show

It is better to be silent and people think you wise than open your mouth and remove all doubts.

uuzba:
Probably the driver has never driven with his own wife beside him before and hence will not permit any woman to sit beside him.

Will not permit in a commercial bus?

It is not his permit to permit.