₦airaland Forum

Kenmatt:
That man is jealous like me.

But too jealous more than me.

Jealous of what?

Have you seen a woman giving birth before?

Do you think there is anything remotely sexual about it? With all the blood, gore, bodily fluids, tears, expansion of the body not on in the best state, bloody babies, placenta and all sorts?

guobe:
If you see a responsible person you will know.If you see me you will know I can't hurt a fly.It is written all over me so I won't blame her

Toor

That's how Yul looked 'responsible' till he cheated on his wife & Married his babymama.

Even Banky W looks 'responsible'.

Remember AIDS no dey show for face.

Jesse6:
This is one thing I have been facing as a Community Nurse, The part of the country where I live people around won't let you associate with a female patient especially during labour even in emergency cases. It's quite really unfortunate tbh

What are they afraid of?

And isn't the life of the mother & child very important to them?

Mindlog:
The percentage that get back to the education pathway (many of the adolescent brides didn't make it past the primary level of education) is very insignificant in comparison to those that don't.

Realistically, at age 20 with 3 children.....there is little or no motivation to re-engage in formal western education though they may have a chance at that, if they are married to men are financially comfortable and liberal enough to get her back to school while making provisions for those who would help her care for the children,

You have a solid point.

⁰OP get mind; I do not enter free rides.

The woman get mind; carrying a strange man with her baby in the car.

For husbands who bear different surnames from their wives & kids, how do you navigate it?

I believe a family should have singular surnames.

Islie:
https://www.vanguardngr.com/2023/07/man-divorces-wife-for-allowing-male-doctor-attend-to-her-during-delivery/

Nlfpmod

14yrs is too young to have a baby.

I hope she doesn't have VVF and other complications in future. In the interim, the women advocate should care for the mother & child and enable her to continue her schooling or any trade of choice.

Their religion has stipulations on divorce though I doubt a male doctor attending to a wife is part of it.

I think she and her family should see the light in the situation: she is free from the clutches of a mad man who would marry a 12 - 13yr old.

Mindlog:
They see nothing wrong in their daughters being teenage wives and still expect to have female doctors to attend to their females!

Not excusing them but the teenage wife can go to school after childbirth. That's what most of the notable Northern women did.

Klass99:
Hehn....please can you confirm if habib yoghurt is healthy, the sweetened one in particular, I don't know if it's refined sugar they use to sweeten it but it is a decadent pleasure I don't want to give up yet.

Please check the sweetener stated on the cup.

@ bold: 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆

Then don't give it up, just reduce it if the sweetener is refined sugar and cut other refined sugars in your diet.

FreeStuffsNG:
Some years ago, I was shocked when one very lovely lady from Akwa Ibom lamented how their culture compels the female children to contribute more for their father's burial yet forbidden from inheritance. She was close to tears that day because she was away from work here in Lagos for 2 weeks, travelled to her village in Akwa Ibom and had to empty her savings for her father's burial. Till date, I still remember her pain on such unfair practice in her culture. She was very close to cursing her brothers and her culture that day.

All these kind of injustice need to stop. These female children do not deserve to be cheated like this and I am happy that a court has come to their rescue. Iniebe Effiong forming human rights lawyer in Lagos is from this state o but I have never read of where he championed campaign against such injustice. The current Senate President is from there too yet no law is against such obnoxious cultural practices.

This Judge is taking the lead to redress this injustice but the state assembly needs to still make law to punish people like this uncle who was about to take the property away from his nieces because they are females.

In the absence of real laws and strong political will to stop this kind of unfair cultural prejudices against the female child, my advice to yet-to-be married ladies not from places like Akwa Ibom is that you should shine your eyes before love carries you to Akwa Ibom and you receive the shock of your life that your female children are considered inferior and culturally forbidden from inheriting what you and your husband slaved for to pass on as inheritance.

Love is sweet but in marriage,love is not all that marriage entails o. Understand the culture of the place where who you want to tie up your lifetime with hails from o. Abo oro la nso fun Omoluabi........

I don't understand:

Culturally, female children contribute more for their father's/ parents' burial however they don't have the right to inherit?

What kind of demonic culture is that?

Cassandraloius:
Hollandia yogurt is a very healthy drink, but on other hand, too much of everything is bad.

The common side effects of are diarrhoea , flatulence, abdominal cramps, bloating, etc

Hollandia yogurt is not healthy. I would claim it is not a yogurt but a mixture of chemicals.

Yogurt has only three ingredients: Water, Milk and Culture aka live yogurt.

Kobojunkie:
Are you insinuating that marriage abandonment is some sort of solution to the "Christian" remarriage problem in Southern Nigeria fhen?

2. Abandonment no be an the inhumane attempt at divorce we know, na spousal rotation? Is your Government aware of this since it criminalized spousal/marriage abandonment beginning sometime last year?

Not interested in an argument; was correcting an opinion the reality on ground.

Divorce in Islam and Christianity are two different concepts. Islam sees marriage as a contract with stipulated laws guiding it. You do A, the consequence is B (divorce) after which you can remarry after XYZ time.

In Christianity, marriage is seen as a covenant hence the terms for divorce much more stringent and remarriage not really entertained. Some school of thought are still debating the permissiveness of remarriage after divorce due to adultery or abandonment. The Bible however spells clearly permission to remarry after death as death ends the marriage covenant.

Marriage abandonment as obtained in the South West (speaking of where I know of) and subsequent remarriage or concubine lifestyle has no basis or backing in Christianity. Neither did I assert that. I only said the North is a different problem because they generally live according to Sharia (Islamic) law hence heavily influenced by the tenets of Islam.

2. You are jumbling everything up; Northerners do not do spousal abandonment; they divorce according to their Sharia law/ interpretation of it and remarry accordingly. Hence spousal rotation aka divorce A, wait for the halal period to remarry and marry B who was previously the spouse of C.

Southerners do spousal abandonment and remarry or keep concubines (male & female). Women having kids for different concubines or men having different kids from different women is not strange in Yoruba land. That is infact one of the common insult points of Igbos against Yoruba lifestyle which is the truth. Sometimes, bride price is returned which signals the end (divorce) of a marriage.

I really do not hold the West as the standard so not concerned about how they resolve their local disputes. Nigerians have a different process of ending a marriage; as a matter of fact, Nigerians have never been known to embrace the legal way of sorting a problem. It is recently that ex-couples go to court for custody; it is olden days, the women pack their kids, their properties and move on. If the woman is moving directly into another man's house, she dumps the kids for the old husband and move on.

According to the West, packing your kids when moving out especially when the husband is not there is kidnapping; take that same case to a Nigerian Police Station and they would applaud the wife for being a good woman because they know only she can really take good care of her kids.

Kobojunkie:
You are the one fooling yourself here. The marriage abandonment rate in Nigeria is probably even higher but because it is not tracked as divorce.... most spouses abandoned in marriage do no seek divorce afterwards for shame or other reasons.... Nigerians official divorce rates remains at about 1.3% to date. Yet in parts of the north, the official divorce rate was recorded to be as high as 81% as far back in the 80s.

Only an imbe-cile would believe that the official divorce rate of about 1.3% reflects reality of life in Nigeria ofcourse.

The North is a different ball game and there is no aversion to remarriage in Islam unlike Christianity so divorcees are married up quickly.

What you have is more of rotating spouses like we have in Nollywood and Hollywood.

adecz:
https://leadership.ng/chibok-schoolgirl-who-escaped-from-boko-haram-engages-lover-in-america/


⏩⏩She is one of the lucky ones.
Others died in captivity while others
became wife to and bore numerous children for the Boko haram 😭😭😦😭
terrorists⏪⏪⏪

Great to read.

Congratulations that you not only escaped but went on to achieve your dreams and goals.

Hopefully, the missing girls still alive would get to experience same.

Would have to point out that the girl herself had already demonstrated courage and strong will to succeed by escaping a moving truck.

1Sharon:
Sure. But black men are forgiving when it comes to looks.

Their standards are thr lowest out of all races of men.

White men are more picky.

1000%

Black men really have the lowest standards when it comes to looks and maintaining them.

Nasri100:
This is facts. You really dont need to even tell anyone about birth control anymore.

People are seeing it first hand. Reality will teach you a lesson.

So If you want to f uck around in this Nigeria and give birth to what you cant take care of due to societal pressure or ego, you finna find out soonest.

You will understand the phrase Every Mallam With His Kettle.

Very true

easzypeaszy:
wht if u do twice get 3 to 6kids
I hv 1 4yrs later na 2 come.
In hospital I saw a man wt 5 at once
Saw many 3s
And I saw a woman wt 2twins twice

If you give birth first time & have two or three or four, isn't that answered prayers and a sign to lock up.

The only excusable occurrence is multiple births after a single birth.

Say you have one kid, you want another one and give birth to four; it's tough but you can call on God who gave you the four to bless your hustle and make a way for your family.

Nobody would blame you in that circumstance; people would empathise with you and probably show you ways to make more money legitimately.

In law, it is called 'force majeure' meaning an 'act of God'. There is nothing you could have done about it.

Or you have twins and want one more and have triplets; that is an act of God.

lexy2014:
That's not true. These families will make do with what they have and raise their kids d best way they can. They might be drinking garri but there's love in d family, that will fill their bellies

Are you educated sir?

If you are, are you enlightened? Are you exposed to the world around you? Do you understand how the world works sir?

And these families drinking garri in love, how do their children turn out? What is the future of the children? Love will fill the bellies of children; do you have kids?

Abi suffer no dey tire una? You do not like your kids to work in great companies or have a good start in life because you have provided it for them?

If you want their suffering and poverty Olympics to start where yours stopped? What are the future plans of your children?

tensazangetsu20:
What if you gave birth when the economy was still good. Would you kill them when the economy gets bad

When has Nigerian economy ever been good enough for a poor/average man to afford plenty kids?

I have seen grace to grass stories and the ones with fewer kids ALWAYS bounce back better. They get help faster, are able to see family members to accommodate them without degrading the kids and are able to pick up life with way lower paying jobs because they don't have so many kids.

If the Dangotes, Odetolas, Alakijas, Obi Cubanas etc can have 2, 3, 4 kids, what kind of money does a man think he has to make him have 5, 6 or infinity kids when the 'economy is supposedly good'?

CuriousStudent:
Not only many children but getting married as well.
We only caution about birthing children but never marriage. When we know that it is not possible for a naija man to be living with his wife without pregnancy entering . When you marry,pressures from womb checkers push you to birth children even if you planned not to.

So in all avoid marriage if you don't earn well. But no,our naija brothers will cry and roll in sand if told they are not financially stable enough to have a wife

Marriage is not the issue.

I have seen poor married people with 2 kids.

I have seen couples with just 2, 3 girls as at 30yrs back when there was craze for boy kids.

I know someone who lived in the pressure cooker of womb checkers and still maintained her initial plan of two kids with her husband. When they ask, her response was same 'God is the giver of children, they are still waiting for him'.

Odjirigho:
This should be given a boost for wider audience view @ Mods.

And birth control should be given key attention by our health sector too

Trust me, birth control is already given key attention.

Walk to any general hospital, they sing it like a song.

Cassandraloius:
I wish every parent will see this. A family of 5 that barely feed, I was surprised to see the woman pregnant again, and she was like, "this is the last one, this baby fit come uplift us from this poverty".

I don't even know what answer I'd give to her that would not sound like an insult.

Next time, just ask such people how the baby is supposed to uplift them from poverty.

Also explain to her coconut head that the act of birthing multiple kids they cannot cater for is already plunging them deeper in said poverty.

I don't know if it is lack of thinking capacity or generational madness

abba190:
u guys are always against having kids the west has succeeded on brainwashing u

Shebi he has decided not to listen to the 'West' and has many children.

And he has opened a lamentations thread for himself.

I know there is no point engaging you; your posts on this thread has shown you are not capable to think properly on this topic.

ibrutex:
To the married men and women in the house , let's give them some, not on papers experience which you will never be told before marriage...


Some of these I learnt through a friend....


A) If you (husband) have 5k and the woman has 3k , sum it together in marriage arithmetic , total cash available in that house is 5k, thanks.

B) As a man be prepared to enter kitchen, expecially those early morning cooking, or else be ready to visit mama put..

Keep it rolling......

Well after almost 20yrs together with my sweetheart (relationship + marriage), I have learnt that your marriage is what you make of it.

And this starts from the very foundation.

Akalia:
As a yet to be married man, just know that women are generally all the same in that they frown at spending their own money even for the good of the family. The man's money is for all but her money is only for her.

Women are generally manipulative , they would do whatever they can to have a hold on you.

Love and support your wife as your capacity can carry but don't go out of your way to please her.

Put your kids before your wife because they are your true blood, your wife isn't.

My 1cent from the standpoint of a married man.

But when you need serious support tomorrow, you would leave everyone who is your 'true blood' and demand unwavering support from your wife who isn't your 'true blood'. I don't know if this is ment or malaria.

Interesting thread

I like how most of the male posters think the wife is greedy or had ulterior motives for asking why her husband did not include her name in the property.

@OP: since your husband doesn't believe that a property bought with personal funds should be co-owned in marriage, there is nothing to worry about. Save up and get your own property.

If marriage wasn't the goal of the relationship (at least to the man), he wouldn't have proposed.

The man has shown his hand (marriage); for some reasons, the woman is not interested (which is within her rights) therefore the relationship should come to a natural end.

Can two together except they are agreed?

Farthing02:
I’m on the verge of proposing marriage to my girlfriend whom have been dating for 2years now, but the issue is the frequent quarrels we do have over everything.

She disrespects me a lot and this sometimes lead physical confrontations .

This is making me contemplate to secretly call her dad to inquire why he’s separated from my girlfriend's mother, because she was raised by her mother alone alongside two other sisters and the man is happily remarried with other grown up kids.

I really would love to inquire why he left her because they are really bitter against him due to the fact that he neglected them according to what the mother once told me.

1. You quarrel a lot
2. She disrespect you which sometimes lead to physical confrontation.

Is it that you are a lover of vawlence or your village people are dancing on your matter because I am wondering why you are thinking of proposing instead of:

1. Determining the source of your quarrels/ disagreements and coming to an agreement
2. Determine why she is disrespecting you or if it is your ego playing tricks on you and addressing it
3. Ending the relationship

Abi someone told you that marriage changes people?

achimendy:
Stop talking like those Oshodi garage boys, learn how to be romantic for one's.

😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂

Peterpanny:
day play
I go ask you straight and direct.
For wife wa I marry with my own money na she was I go use scope day ask for sex.

So you want to have sex with her because you paid bride price not because you love her and want to express that love sexually?

Let's even take love out of it. If you are sexually attracted with your wife, I am sure you would express that desire to sleep with her without thinking of bride price.

CuriousStudent:
Una don start ba?

I saw a post on Joro blog were a MARRIED wife was flirty with her husband and it made him start wondering if she was "experienced" before marriage.

Basically there is nothing wrong,but a naija man ego is too fragile . Twerk for your husband and he will read meaning into it. Wear red pant and ideas will come to his mind.

I will gladly seduce my legally married husband if he is not nigerian,because if I shake my nyash for a Nigerian husband he will start questioning my virtue

@ bold

😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂

President2001:
80% of woman will never do that so that they won't be tag ashewo no matter how they need it

Tagged Ashewo by whom?