₦airaland Forum

craziebone:
NO WOMAN IN THIS WORLD CAN STAND UP TO MY MOTHER THE WAY WE SEE IN THAT PIC.

Well then marry your mother or tell her to respect her boundaries

@OP:

I honestly do not understand How a MIL and DIL can compete for the 1st position in the 'man's life

Like seriously?

That's why women should get something going for them.

They should learn kids are just to be trained for their own lives/purpose and will fly out of their parents ' nest at the right time.

veave:
lwtmb
after oga don damage her womb and kill all her children with mouth.

Lols

Most people will do What they think they can get away with.

thorpido:
A lot of young girls ought to be smarter.All that glitters is not gold.
When you meet a very matured guy and he says he's not married,do your homework well.
Some posters already mentioned the famous lines;
'We are in the process of divorce'
'We are separated'
'My wife does not give me peace at home'
'My wife does not make me happy,I'm lonely' bla bla bla.
Maybe because i'm a guy,i wonder how a girl can spend some time with a guy and not know he's married.I can tell after just three meetings.

@poster,your cousin should brace up for a life of a single mother.She can always remarry.

How do a lady know a guy is married If his family does not live around his family?

How does a man operate two families codely successfully?

How does a wife not know her husband is creeping?

It is not always straight forward

I wonder why a single lady will tangle with We are divorced, seperated, evil wife crew.

Once a man has attached himself to a woman, he should be off limits.

veave:
but why are they like that? One said he was a widower, I asked and someone that knows him told me his wife dey kampe and how she was such a good woman that loves her family. Another one said he was divorced because his wife damaged her womb through prostitution and couldn't give birth. So when he found out, he divorced her. I had already made up my mind to date him but God that sees my heart knew I deserved better. Na so I go one church for special invite oh. See the guyman with his wife and 3 kids. Wetin pain me pass be say the woman fine pass me. I no fit stand were she stand sef. Omo guy do like sey e no sabi me again oh.

Why are Some men like that?

Because they can get away with it

Like the wife on the man who toasted you come on NL, na So So wear red bra, green bra, learn new styles, cook better, bend backwards style advice you will hear

Imagine rewarding bad behavior with sexiness

Well well

Happy Birthday Roy and Jeff

Many many of God's blessings all year round

cococandy:
She shouldn't have left.

That was a perfect opportunity to win her battle right there and she threw it away.
If he wanted them to sleep over, fine. Just get to the nearest store get sanitary towels and a change of underwear and sleep over. Even Have fun at theirs if possible.

Next time, he won't have the mouth to say no when she wants to go see her own people.

I must say he has issues though.


So OP now that you asked what do you intend to do with the response?

@bold: Not everyone of them think like that

He is the 'man' na

Wifey might just be frustrated considering the fact she had to beg for him to take her there in the first place.

OP has ran away

craziebone:
the same art of persuasion people are begining to ask women to ditch and become "the boss" (in Beyonce's voice)?

Don't get me wrong, i am all for choice for the lady.

Persuasion goes both ways bro in marriage

If you stamp your feet down as a man/woman on all issues, your partner will one day call your bluff

The man hear wants something and should try to understand the lady's POV and tell her why going to the same church is important to him etc. and they reach a compromise...

She can start going to the man's church and go to her church week days or something

Beside persuasion should be for the person who wants something.

Whatever works for everyone jor.

Life is short

ukandi1:
persuasion does not apply here. Its either u are in or out. Church issues are more serious than what u fellas here take it to mean.
I write from experience. I am pentecostal and my wife orthodox. Its normal for d lady to change to d man's church or walk away cos love is never enuf. She agreed to join me in my pentecostal after marriage only for her to renege after d marriage. I was patient til i cud take it no more. D doctrines are not d same but all end up in d bedroom. I started making enquiries and seeking divorce barely 2yrs into d marriage.
U ar joking with fire. Beta sort it out now.

You want to divorce your wife because she reneged on her Agreement

I have advised the lady to walk away if they cannot reach a compromise

End time marriages

veave:
Make e marry you first. This one na small tori

This is a wrong approach

They must iron out issues before saying I do

EddyNumerouno:
Forget the marriage
Auntie na wa

Na real wa no be small

deledels:
Chief adviser,,I salute you,,
So because her fiance wants her to join him in his own church after wedding,,thats enough reason for her to dump him,,is it that easy to dump a partner at the slightest disagreement? Nawa o

I salute you too

If the man insists the girl goes to his church and the girl insists she continues with her present church after marriage, what do you advice them to do?

Joy1706:
I told him even as my husband, he can only ask me to change my church after marriage but that the decision is mine to take. And that religion is a very personal issue, it's not something that can just be decided for a person esp an adult. Then he says it seems like I won't be a submissive wife bla bla bla. Did I say something wrong?

If you know that your church is very important and you both do not reach a compromise, Please forget the marriage

I wonder when Some men would learn the art of persuasion

What a tread

Would say out of the box and very decent.

I am sure people would pick on This style and funkinize it soon.

The style would be very nice on silk material

It is no news

Others are Rachael Oniga, Mercy Aigbe etc.

aflyingbird:
IS PREGNANCY BEFORE MARRIAGE NOW A TREND IN AFRICA?! Y ARE SO MANY WOMEN IN THE PUBLIC EYE GETTING PREGNANT WHEN THEY'RE NOT MARRIED?!

Because They are in the public.

The dressing is too seductive for any profession.

EfemenaXY:
I wouldn't even be caught doing Omugwu or whatever it's called for my sons. No way.

For my daughter, I'll help out if she wants me to, but even then, I can't see myself packing my pots, wrapper, toothbrush, and slippers to set up camp in her matrimonial home for 12 months.

Will never happen.

Lol

Khabuqi:
The pissing is gross but cumin' in the mouth is cool. Just saying..

Are you a male or female?

OmoAlata1:
how is that a sick sexual fantasy? Now if he goes and finds another woman to do it for him. She will start visiting all pastors and crusades and doing by fire by force prayers to get him back. lol orisirisi

You consider a man pissing and cuming in his wife's mouth healthy

Love MFM's stance on dressing

They even talk on dressing in their minister 's retreat.

Tallesty1:
I believe them bot but I don't take revelation literally.
I am not saying that hell do not exist, my point is that it is not eternal.
If I repent and lead righteous life because I don't want to go to hell then my repentance is not complete. It means I do not have the love of Christ in me rather I am following him because I am scared he will punish me if I don't. Which makes him a tyrant in a way.
Not everyone is assured of entering heaven the easy way, some will inherit it, some will enter it by other means, maybe by kekenapep or okada, my type will trek it
I am waiting.




We will be saying thesame thing if I should take things exactly the way they are in the bible but I don't.

Take this verse forinstance.

Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth , today you will be with me in paradise” ( Luke 23:43).

Do you notice where the coma is placed? That was a wrong placement, the verse should read like this.

Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth today , you will be with me in paradise” ( Luke 23:43).

You might be wondering how I came to that conclusion?


I will show you.

John 20:17 Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father: but go to my brethren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God.

If we should follow Luke 23:43 exactly the way it appeared in the bible then it means that the thief would be in the paradise with Jesus the very day they died but here in John 20:17 Jesus was telling Mary that he had not ascended to the Father, meaning that he had not been to the paradise three days after his death.

Would get back to you when I am on Lappy

freecocoa:
See bukatyne and Tallesty1 on different pages about hell, yet they both have backings from one bible.

We aren't using the same bible

The Bible can be used to support almost anythin. With the right tools... a sweet tongue and a 'gullible' audience

freecocoa:
1. Yea well, we should then agree that he isn't the God of ALL after all (emphasis on All because that's what's in the bible),he is only kind to people who obey his word and you actually know that the bible is his word, how? What about the people of other religions that don't use the bible? Many of whom practice such religions because that's what they were born into, what becomes of them?

2. I don't see what trinity has to do with it, it's simple and plain English, it's either you are something or you are not.

3. I didn't see where it said "important discussions" or when to select how to reply a f00l.

Actually I understand that the people who wrote the bible seem to be very confused, hence the many contradictions, the funny thing is that, just like you, christians claim there's a deeper meaning than what one sees in the bible, so they give it any meaning suitable to them, studying the bible only further tells me I shouldn't.

God is the God of all flesh because He is the Creator

He is a father to those who are His children.


The authors of the Bible are not confused. And yes, There is a meaning/life God's Holy Spirit give the Bible.

The issue is that a lot of people never studied their Bibles and rely solely on What they hear or are taught.

Again the Bible was written in different testaments/covenants.

Some portions are stuffs that hhappened to people, Some are commandments and Some are stuffs that will happen in the future

cococandy:
@bold, I don't know maybe the motivation is the responsibility naturally bestowed on us as a higher species to ensure that harmony, fairness and continuity is the theme of life from one generation to another?
Does there have to be a motivation borne out of fear for one to live a righteous life?
Promoting good relationship,friendship and justice between humans of all races should be enough motivation. shouldn't it?
Afterall if you really look at the 10commandements, those rules are specifically mostly for the promotion of good relationship between man and his neighbor for our own good.

If that's not enough motivation for anyone to try to live a righteous life, trust me, the promise of a shiny heaven or the fear of a fiery hell won't be enough to get them to live righteously.

We have been raised to be selfish mostly. so it is perfectly ok to see someone say "if I can't go heaven,why do good?"
subconsciously everything we do,we hope to gain something from.
That's not righteousness. That's selfishness.

Most people honestly cannot break a sweat to help another person if there's nothing in it for them. They just can't wrap their heads around such.
So there has to be the promise of heaven for them before they can do good.
Take that away and you will see that most 'godly' people aren't really godly or selfless at all.
They just think they are buying themselves some treasure up somewhere.

If there was no promise of a heaven or the threat of hell somewhere,many humans would be running amok in their own wickedness because the thought of doing good just so that the life of the next person will be easier won't ever cross their minds. To them it would be a waste.

And that honey is true human nature.

Whoever or however the idea came up of a hell and heaven,it was centered on man's inability to do good except there's something personal in it for him.


As for whether there is really a hell and a heaven, everyone to their beliefs jare. Since Christians are even divided on the matter who else will vouch for it?

I agree with you that making the world a peaceful place is enough motivation to be fair & just.

However, the reward of Christians is rest in heaven/everlasting life. All our living just on earth and doing Good is to win as many souls as possible and all end in heaven.

Look at it This way: If There is no certificate given after one'. stay in university, wWhat is the motivation of study hard? You might say becoming successful however We have seen scores of people hoe succeeded without university education.

What drove you to study in school even when your proverbial mates were playing?

What made you not bone your exams and party?

Because you wanted to get a wonderful result out of the university,. That result you saw as a ticket to better standard of living .

See heaven as the certificate, earth has the university and life's journey as your study

The Bible is clear on heaven and hell

I don't know the one Tallesty is using

Chinum:
Speaks wrong grammar;
The one responsible for the whole family;
Does not have a savings account;
Somewhat people pleasing;
Future goals are not that convincing;


These and a few others are the reasons I decided to call it off. Did I do the right thing?

Cc; Babyosisis, Chaircover, Bukatyne, et al.

U guys are saving lives. May you not lack in your areas of need. Amen.

Sorry for my late response

Other posters have attended to your post greatly

Thanks

chaircover:
There are over 50 pages on this thread
Some posts will speak to the men, some will speak to the women & some will speak to both sexes
We all have different styles.
I choose to speak to women because that is where my experience lies.
My hubby will be in a better position to speak to men.
Most of the marriage seminars Ive attended there are 2 speakers . .a male and a female. Both speak from different points of views and experiences.
My last sentence on my long post that you quoted sums up my overall thoughts on the matter. it does take 2

Everyone should do the right thing ie respect, communicate and treat the other person as they will like to be treated and things should fall into place.

I did not say you should do a separate post on men...

Address your original post to them. It is beautiful as it is and would serve the purpose.

babyosisi:
The saddest part is that some of these MILs were just in the shoes of the DILs some years back meaning that some of us reading this will grow up to be one of these MILs
God help us
I already told myself that I will do my own omugwo from a hotel room when the time comes and any signs of issues I will hop into the rental car and head to the airport.

Trust me, If you are busy or with oga, you will not have time for those stuffs.

I cannot imagine checking If DIL greeted with her two knees or If she called my son by his first name or last.

It is not just me.

I can't cope? Pack myself back home

Floodgater:
I see men and marriage in three groups. The first group are those who go into marriage baring all their cards without reservations, they love totally. The second are first concerned about their masculity, they always assert their headship, they dont believe in loving a woman 100%, they hold some back that is why they keep secrets from their wifes. This group is the average husband, he would rather seek and prefare friends opinion to that of his wife. What he doesnt know is that he is hindering the full potential of his wife's love. He doesnt really need all that attitude for a woman that love him. The last group marry because people get married. Every womans dream is the first group, trully they are the best but few. Still most women dont prepare their sons to be in the first group. I notice that most men learn what it means to be married from friends and sustain it with friends opinions. Women please prepare your sons so that your daughters whom most times you prepared can meet a prepared man.

God bless you!

It is not just women alone... the church, the mosque, the shrine, prepare your sons for marriage!

Do you know in my church currently, There is no men's seminar

They teach and teach women and still wonder How the marriage does not work.

I Don't waste my time with such meetings anyways

Good marriage books refer to the couple or have different volumes for the couple.

happysisi:
Gbam! It takes two Ppl for marriage to work. He also has to prove a lot of things to me.

Either the event of things, I have come to have a different view that might not be do for him but that has come to be my conclusion cuz of past events

@bold: True

chaircover:
Yes it goes both ways
It takes two to tango
My words are to ladies becasue this thread is for them.

Some guys are peeping and are learning too

The thread has metamorphosed from a thread for wives to a thread for marriage

Women have heard they have to do it all for years so the message on marriage should be balanced.

It takes two to build the marriage while it takes only one person to destroy it.

If the wives are the best in the world with husbands who are not ready to lift a finger, the wives soon become depleted emotionally and the center gives way.

The reason it seems effortless to do all is because our husbands are doing their best too and filling us emotionally.

The advice of everyone play their part and leave the other one does not really work in marriage.

It is well