₦airaland Forum

Dshocker:
Why did she open her legs?..... 👈👈👈👈 Answer this question.

And you lots keep doing lower and lower past the baseline required of humans:

Why did a mentally challenged woman open her legs?

Are you plain stupid or mentally challenged yourself?

Pastor Kumuyi's son has liberated them.

Money also has a way of beautifying things like this.

@Bethuel2022:

1. Why do your parents want you back together?

2. What has his parents/ relatives said concerning the issues?

Zonefree:

No be naive make you marry him, na your love for material things. You thought he's loaded cos he pretended to be only for you to marry him come notice say nothing dey house.

No Nigerian woman can stay with a broke man for straight 24 months!

A man will be living with his jobless Nigerian wife for 15 years, providing for her needs with the kids, taking care of the wife's family in his little ways without even telling his neighbours.

But, here's a Nigerian woman that only stayed with her broke husband just for 2 years, and she's already all over the cyber space telling the world how broke and wretched the husband is.


Dear men, please when saying marital vow with your Nigerian bride, tell the officiating priest to skip the "for better for worse" gibberish. Nigerian girls don't practice that nonsense.

@bold:

You guys should stop exposing your lack of knowledge on how marriage really works with this nonsense line.

Or maybe you know and just want to be irrational.

In an average marriage, a woman catering financially for the home alone is like a husband who is the sole/major provider and still the one doing all the chores while the woman does nothing.

So that your husband providing for 15 years without complaints, hope he is the one doing all/most of the chores in the home? If not, you see that the analogy doesn't make sense.

If you find a husband who can do that without complaints, let us know.

Congratulations Victor, more feathers to your cap.

See Toke looking like a bag of money. Picture screenshot accordingly

Tiwa should step up her dressing game joor except she was invited as an artiste.

Their beef, their business.

If beef tire them, they should start selling fish.

Dimaya:
In a video that has gone viral, a lady narrates how her boyfriend broke things off after relocating to the United States and married a woman from over there. She says her ex-boyfriend now trapped in a loveless marriage and she doesn't know what to do?

Please watch and let her know: is there anything she could have done to keep the guy from breaking things off?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52OssP-CU7c

Since the poor ex-boyfriend is trapped and she is concerned, she can rescue him.

Goodluck on the rescue mission.

You mean there is a girl that let Portable climb her, sleep with her and get her pregnant?

Anyways, congratulations to them.

descarado:
1. Even the practice in SE of man being trained from birth to be the provider is very flawed cos parents forgot to train their boys to be helper at home.
Reality now is that men and women contribute to the upkeep of the family almost equally in South East but men will never help in house work.

2. Wives end up getting househelps and transfer the aggression meant for the husband to the househelp. We see countless cases here. It's just transferred aggression.

3. In some cases, they don't need househelp but are forced to cos its hard juggling work, family life and pregnancy etc without breaking down. And these men look the other way.

4. Always want to be treated as Kings even when wife provides also.

5. I mean, I come from the east and its hard seeing guys cook or do housework.
(My extended family was a bit different cos each family has only one girl and they all got married early. I was the last in the whole family and grew up among many boys and Heck, they must cook else hunger go kpai them. So yes, guys in my family cook and do housework very well and this has helped all of them in their various families. I remember 2 or 3 of my cousins friends that learned how to cook in our house. Like my cousins literally make fun of them cos they can't prepare common eba)

6. And the funny thing is that ladies after passing through this, will still not train their boys to be useful around the house. What a useless circle.

7. Wish underage househelp should be banned and 18 plus paid at least minimum wage though they are live in.
It may make them wake up.

8. In my immediate family, I have reduced the stuff I do around house and assigned everybody to his task. Both papa and his kids. You don't do yours, we will swim in the river together.

9. Not ready to settle marriage problems when I should be travelling up and down having fun.

1. We use you people as example because the men dey manage provide. The other men in these cultures DO NOT provide and DO NOT do chores, DO NOT lead in the home. Take them out and their presence and absence is same.

2. I guessed as much.

3. True

4. That's why I am very insistent on a responsible husband. That wanting treatment has Kings is innate. Whether they do, they no do; they want that treatment.

5. Nice one

6. You see this ehn, will keep baffling me till the end of time. That's why I don't take most of them complaining seriously. You complain, I note how you train your sons and younger men around you. It is same, I look the other way.

7. Access to cheap help doesn't help matters. If your husband is not responsible at home, just pick a underaged child wanting to escape generational poverty and overburden.

8. 😃 😀 😄 😁 🤣 😂 😃 😀 😄 😁 truth is if you don't hold them accountable when they are not willing to pick up the slack, you will do it all alone and be overworked and bitter.

9. As in.

It is well.

ahnie:
The oga above me Sha!

LARRYOBRAIN:
Don't pay evil with evil.

Did he tell you his uncle was evil or he was paying him back with evil?

Darlingme:
My thought exactly. Someone you can't help why he/she is alive, why helping to give a befitting burial?

Would you prefer they leave the dead people without burial?

Darlingme:
This has nothing to do with entitlement mentality.

No one is an island and we all need each other to live peacefully.
So, a man died in my neighborhood and his children has forbidden their rich and wealthy uncles from contributing to the burial. Accordingly to the children, their poor father died of starvation, which they have been appealing to relatives, also his only brother who works in an oil company in PH for assistant and he has always promised to help, but never did. This uncle happens to be the first person to send an ambulance to convey the corpse to the village, and the children rejected his offer.
I don't understand. Why do we have rich family members, friends, yet we suffer poverty?
Why is it always easy for people who can save their fellow humans from death, starvation, depression always ignore them, but once he/she dies, it's easy to raise money for burial.

Even on social media, we bully, humiliate each other, push some people into depression with our words and write up, but once the person commit succid, we tend to start posting pics with lovely write ups. Condemning their suicidal action and blaming them for not voicing out?
why? Is it our environment, social way of behaving?

Have you ever experience any of this? Can you share such experience?
What's your general opinion about this?

[img][/img]
Well, because they know that after the one off contribution for the burial, they are free.

It is easier to contribute for a burial ceremony than be responsible for feeding a man and his family every month.

Except you can provide him with a tool for fishing for himself which some poor people don't want.

You also do not know if the rich relatives have tried fruitfulnessly to drag the man out of poverty by teaching him how to fish without yielding results.

ahnie:
I don't think that training is entirely useless,it has helped majority of us in the long run it helps you to be independent,strong and self reliance.
As for me....man nor go fit do yanga for me Sha,welda he provides or not,once I see how the ship dey sail,I don pick my paddle dey sailam to the direction wey I want tam.

Like I said before...the op of this thread nor get wahala,make she device away of giving her kids meals,since she has always bn the sole provider,her kids should be her priority,make the man figure his sorry arse out.

That is the reason I said it was useless.

There is nothing like independence in a marriage; a man and woman depend on themselves to build a home. They are interdependent.

Secondly, because we received those trainings, we do not know what to look for in a husband. Let me just marry any one after all, if he doesn't perform, I would do it. Then married but living single now sets in.

And because the men know we received that training, they don't show up with their A game. After all, if they don't perform, what are the repercussions?

Saladdin:
This is true, Madam Bukatyne though I feel this is slowly changing. My married friends and colleague are actively involved in their homes beyond provision (I belong to the 90s generation).

In my tribe (in NC), we believe a man is supposed to provide, protect and care for his family to point of laying down his life if need be. This is what I saw my dad do.

My plan when I get married is to be involved l, by shopping with them, taking them to leisure spots, attending their inter-house sports, pray with them etc. Regardless of his my (future) wife works or not, I plan to foot all the bills—no 50-50 split in my dictionary.

So help me God.

@bold:

True

Hence my comment below in bold:

bukatyne:
@bold:

One of the most foolish training given to Nigerian women. SW is also in this boat.

Imagine Nigerian fathers training their sons not to depend on a woman to keep the home or support him in his vision?. That even if she doesn't keep the home and do other duties, the husband should take care of himself and kids. Isn't it foolish?

Of what use is a man that you can't depend on? How would he even know what his duties are when he sees his fore-fathers loafing about and still 'fine'?

Of what use is marriage when one partner is going to be useless?

Anyways, the women are getting wiser and the men are picking up at least financially and in some cases chores. Let's ginger them to do more till they become leaders they should be.

I pray God would help you to be the kind of husband you want to be. 100% is not even necessarily my cup of tea.

ahnie:
In SS abavo precisely the women are the bread winners,same with women from my tribe and extracted tribe(urhobos)we were trained to never depend on a man and we grew up with that mentality to hustle and fend for our kids,and our men 78 percent grew up with that mentality that even if they do not provide,the wife would definitely hustle and care for the kids

@bold:

One of the most foolish training given to Nigerian women. SW is also in this boat.

Imagine Nigerian fathers training their sons not to depend on a woman to keep the home or support him in his vision?. That even if she doesn't keep the home and do other duties, the husband should take care of himself and kids. Isn't it foolish?

Of what use is a man that you can't depend on? How would he even know what his duties are when he sees his fore-fathers loafing about and still 'fine'?

Of what use is marriage when one partner is going to be useless?

Anyways, the women are getting wiser and the men are picking up at least financially and in some cases chores. Let's ginger them to do more till they become leaders they should be.

ahnie:
Why are these issues always synonymous with 80% of Nigerian husbands?

Maybe that's the type of men the women like? Or grew up to see?

Apart from the SE, I can count the tribes/regions that believe in a husband who provides any form of leadership:

I know SW and SS regions don't. Their women provide, protect and defend the home (read a lady describing how her mother checks if the main door is locked every night), leas in prayers/spirituality, lead in child training etc.

A lot of Nigerian women need training on what a husband should be like and the men trained on the duties of a husband.

Some provide money and think that's all there is to husbandhood.

Angelfrost:
Not to mention the nation's economy almost got drowned by a massive strike...!


Buhari really left quite the mess for Tinubu!

May the gods be with him on this unenviable journey!... I pray he succeeds for the sake of the citizens!


We can't afford another Buhari in that office!

@bold:

He really did.

I pray same also.

Giftedhands45:
I have to join this forum to post this tonight.

I'm in my early thirties, my husband is just two years older than me. My husband has always been neglecting his responsibilities even before we got married, but I was seeing it as he doesn't have a better job and a struggling guy whom we can both join hands together to build each other. I endured everything with him. I have always supported and provided without complain.
Since last year my husband lost his job, since then, he has refused to look for any other source of income. Even when he had a job, he always have one story or the other to tell about his monthly salaries. So, he still doesn't provide.
Once, there's nothing in the house, he will keep watching because I can't watch my two children Starve. I will try everything, even call friends, families and borrow. He doesn't care how I borrowed and how I paid.


Now, he wakes up every morning and still go back to sleep. Whatever I asked him, he don't always have. He's response always is ''I don't have money ''
I am the only one sourcing out everything in this house, I don't have a job as well, just struggling up and down with a business I do.

There's no food, school fees, bill, everything, he will ignore. I can't watch my children suffer. So, I keep struggling without any help. But he eats food and uses everything in the house with us. He wouldn't provide, but he can use them once they're available.
Our house rent will soon expire and he has no plan towards That. The previous one I paid, but presently, my business is down

Lately, I've been thinking. I've never cheated since I entered this marriage, but If I keep struggling all myself like this, my children will suffer. I feel, I need someone who loves me and willing to support me as well.
My children are too used to their father, it borders me if I separate them from him.

Leaving a marriage because he's not taking responsibilities, does that make me a bad woman?

What could make a man to be very comfortable not providing for his family but wouldn't want to loss the said family?

Have you ever been in my shoes, what would you advise me?

This matter is hard because you saw it before you entered. I am tempted to ask what your game plan for the marriage was/is.

Since you are tired of him (as you should be) and family meetings has not yielded results (not surprised), move to your family house after the rent expires and see what you can do to fend for yourself and two kids.

After leaving, call a family meeting of both families and humbly tell them that you came here after the landlord shamefully evicted you and you would be here till he becomes responsible (get a viable means of income, demonstrate that he is capable of taking care of you financially, leading the family and fixing every other short comings he has in terms of leadership).

DO NOT BE CAJOLED BY ANY PROMISES OF CHANGE WITHOUT AT LEAST A YEAR'S EVIDENCE. (You see wetin Baba Zahra use our eyes see for eight years under promise of change like Oshodi conductors).

Also dead that feeling of needing someone to 'love' you right now; that is the least of your problems.

All my ladies: you would know a responsible husband in future from the present. If he cannot give you N3 out of his N10, isn't concerned when you have issues he cannot solve, cannot lead spiritually (if you are) and is looking for prayer warrior wife; cannot defend your honor/protect you in your presence or absence, doesn't care about your progress, you cannot count on him to give you concrete advice; the people around you have not started seeing him as pre-husband because he is not that visible (not applicable in LDR) or useful, hanty, you never see husband.

Exceed15:
Apparently he knows how to deceive. We will not fall for it . Nigeria will shut down on Wednesday if he fails to return to old price.

Was he the one that removed the subsidy?

See epistle!

Did Chioma Jesus complain about her proceeds or the state of her ministry to you?

Maybe if there is more concentration on messages from God than fine tuning to suit modern appeal, we would have more gospel ministers than gospel artists.

What a perversion of God's gift to mankind.

Where some countries are banning pornography, Sweden is making a sport of it.

Eku ise!

After all the chukuchaka,

The article stated a very correct fact:

Parents should teach their children from the Bible at home. The Church and religious schools can help reinforce it.

However, it is the parents' primary responsibility.

That also goes for sexual orientations, gender types outside the biologically known male & female, and any other yeye ideologies up their sleeves.

A group of unknown men offered a single woman a ride and took her to an apartment (not her destination).

1. In today's age, she accepted the ride
2. When the destination wasn't her route, she did not raise alarm? Na American we call am o

To now sweeten the case, the police are yet to identify the woman.

May I ask who now reported this alleged rape case where the 'victim' is unknown?

If there were more than these two guys in the car/house, what are the names of the remaining men/people?

This is looking more interesting that African Magic.

tosinhtml:
With this analysis s regards rent, It doesn't seem like you reside in Lagos at all. 1.3M is not a huge rent in Lagos Island & further, it is the median rent.

Where would you find a 2 Bedroom apartment close to office (Which I assume by the look of things would be Victoria Island / Ikoyi / Lekki) around the same 1.3M? Please check PropertyPro & other similar websites, let's see if you will can find anything like that.

The least 2 Bedroom apartment is around that environs is 3M to 5M.

In fact, if you find any house for 1.3M, please contact me, I am willing to pay that amount & sublet it to a new person.

Are V/I, Ikoyi, Lekki the only places close to V/I? Igbo Efon/Agungi/New Road/Ologolo are also close to V/I. You will easily do 40mins - 1hr if you leave home by 7am - 7:30am. Yaba is also close to V/I; had a colleague that did 30mins by 6:30am. Surulere, Iyanaworo is close, ditto Gbagada.

P.S.: if you are serious with house scouting, go to your preferred area yourself.

Digital204:
But having children is a blessing na... Remember there are people looking for children with millions of naira, yet they don't have. Different strokes for different folks. Life is a mystery.

Having children is a blessing.

Having more children than you can cater for (decent food, shelter, clothing and education to at least tertiary level) is foolishness and wickedness.

What is the game plan of a poor man who has more kids than he can cater for?

Even the Bible says a good father leaves an inheritance (after all the catering) for his children.

emy77:
Most of the responses to the poster's problem, I must say, are out of context. The op is not telling us what he has been spending. He is projecting his budget based on the new fuel price.

I see people telling him his car is bad to gulp 35k fuel a week. Guys, a simple Toyota Camry has 70litre tank, to fill up in the past was 14k average, now it costs 35k!!!! It will still finish within a week, especially with Ajah traffic.

I think the problem is the post is too premature. If you had posted this by June ending, the responses would have been very different. Bus fare from Oshodi to ajah this morning was 1500 one way. Imagine you go 3-4k on public transport daily, you will understand the budget.

Una dey play!!!

I considered the new reality.

He said N180k for fuel in his car and N50k fuel for gen + N10k PHCN.

This tells me that he is going to work everyday. Yet, he uses 100litres for gen in a month.

Consider that he also rented a 2 bed at Ajah at N1.3m pa because of his home office.

So he pays huge rent, yet didn't leverage on that for proximity to the office.

People typically pay huge rent for proximity to the office which reduces cost of transportation (fuel/ bus fare) and time of commuting: he is gaining neither.

If he is all day on the road/office, how long is he at home to consume 100liters of fuel via gen and still spend N10k (about 170units of electricity)? If he doesn't go to the office everyday to justify the gen usage and home office, he wouldn't send so much fueling his car.

If the home office is for his side hustle, how long does he spend there daily considering he leaves the house by 5am everyday and returns earliest 7pm if he leaves the office 5pm sharp?

He doesn't cook at all so do not expect he has a freezer or electric stove.

There is something not adding up.

vastolord4:
Where's computer science?

Dem no rate us

Maryloveth:
One of the illegal loan agents have spoken.

You're not licensed by CBN that's why you go around harassing them.
You understand illegal loan apps are criminals too ? So,they are not saint too.
When you could have easily forwarded their issue to CBN to do the needful.
One day no just meet person way go kill you.
Nah advice,be careful out there.

Just curious, are people forced to take loans from these apps? If a person knows they are not saints (I did not know when sainthood became a criteria to a run business), isn't it wise to steer clear from them?

When they take loans, do they not have a plan in place to pay back?

If they had a plan which fell through, did they engage the loan companies?

These loan apps are not new; everyone knows their modulus operandi; you know the interest rates, payment cycle and what they would do if you don't pay.

You claim they are not saints, yet go ahead download their app, give them approval to contact your contacts if you don't pay, collect the loan, refuse to pay back and cry wolf when they decide to act in their usual manner.

I fear who no fear una.

Digital204:
And a lot of people are suffering, really, but they still have large families and many children.

That is the major catalyst to their suffering.

A 'poor' man who has one kid would fare much better than his mate who has five or seven kids.

Yet, their generational lack of wisdom (sometimes misdiagnosed as generational curses) would propell them to have kids like rats.

A poor couple with one or two kids can get sponsors for their kids if things go so bad; someone with five or seven wouldn't readily get such help because even the helper is not catering for that amount of kids.

Lamanii22:
The lord has blessed us with another cute lil pumpkin … my family and I are grateful for this wonderful blessing… may the lord answer everyone’s heart desires in Jesus name 🙏🏾 ❤️❤️


P.S my first and now second baby really look like my father-in-law, he usually look at them in awe…


My father-in-law passed away this morning, he probably waited to see my baby before going, I would really miss him… it’s a mixed feeling for me right now cause I live with my in-laws and I watched how his soul left his body…

I give thanks to the lord regardless….

Congratulations dear

May God comfort you & family on his loss. Amen.

Went through the thread and it is heartwarming that a number of NLers have gotten jobs into Stanbic with Oga Richie's assistance of invaluable information.

Congratulations to everyone who got in and success to those still in the pipeline.