₦airaland Forum

folake4u:
Lol. I have washed my hands off anything "Strong, boss lady". I like being independent and working hard for my money but I don't overdo it. If anybody wants to pamper me, why Not?

I see some ladies offer to pay for date and I'm always shocked. I don't know the point they're trying to prove sha. That's not also how to prove that you're independent or whatever. Let the man be the man and handle the goddamn bills!

My male friends treat me like a baby anytime we go out. Na them dey pay if all of us decide to go out, I'm actually a baby or last born in their midst.😂😂😂 I won't say cos I'm an independent woman, they should allow me to handle my bills. I am not even being entitled here but they just tell me not to worry at all.

Strong man, strong woman. E dey give me headache.

Leemao. I cannot even attract a feminine man oh cos Omo, asides my career ehn, I'm lazy, I can't be breadwinner of the family (I'd run mad doing that) and I can't even respect someone who's not providing for his family.

The Bible even said Any man who can't provide for his family is worse than an infidel.

Well, they are strong women who do not want to be disrespected by men. If only they knew that you can cloth a man, feed him, he would beat you up (infact, that's the summary of the IG post I brought here) and give your money to a slay mama to buy Brazilian hair. If a masculine man sees you as a woman he loves and wants, he doesn't need your money/wealth at a base level. Yes, you might have to split bills, have a joint pot, yada yada (if his paycheck cannot take the family home) but what he values is your femininity.

Also, some women are operating from the wounded feminine (daddy issues, disappointments especially from romantic relationships, others experiences etc.) and cannot receive. They see every effort to help/gift from the point of disrespect. I am not talking of a man giving you a gift when he has made it clear he wants sex or relationships and the woman is trying to be smart o

😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 @ Bible said; you have joined Ybaby's Church. That passage was actually talking to men and women in reference to taking care of their aged ones but feel free to use it to knock sense into their heads.

folake4u:
God bless you!

1. People can really see through pretense and term it female manipulation. Na all these pretense dey make alfa meils open unnecessary threads for Nairaland and disturbing our peace.

You said it all. I am not a typical "damsel in distress" chick BUT once I enter into that state, people (male and female) would move mountains for me because it is a rare sight to see me in my helplessness.

2. These days, na feminine men full everywhere sha. God airpus.

3. Yes, yes. You're right. They balanced that phase. Especially the "mother phase" and "queen phase". Spot on!

A. I love female friendships a LOT. If you meet the real good ones, you'd appreciate life. I'm also a big fan of Yettymuse, loved her even. Learnt a lot from her. I knew her offline but when I changed my phone and came back, she had already deactivated.

B. Lmao. I advice advice and tell my female folks to invest in skincare and perfume. They go hand in hand. I'm also a big advocate of listening to soft music as a way of relaxing the nerves, lighting up scented candles in one's room etc.

C. In my legal profession, they address female lawyers as "Gentleman on skirt". For fuçks sake, that's so old school. Even female Judges are referred to as "Sir".

D. Yes, for one to succeed at workplace, one have to roll up the sleeves and put in all the work. Although, in my former workplace, the two female Bosses I worked with didn't use their masculinity to get up there, they used their feminine side and it worked for them. I thrived on my "masculinity" to get the job done.

5. Uhm about the relationship part. I think that's where the problem çome sometimes. Sometimes we also take that masculinity into the relationship. It brings issues though cos there's no balance.

I feel it's important to just find a BALANCE FOR EVERYTHING.

E. Thank you Buka.

1. Don't mind the 'alfa meils'; most of them are hungry 'I never chop boys or young boys toying with things above their paygrade' that should be looking for jobs or admissions to higher institutions. When you hear things like 'all career women have sugar daddies' or 'they slept their way to the top' or 'XYZ' or 'where is the work of N100k/month in Nigeria?', you should know the calibre of people you are dealing with.

2. And they would continue to increase. Modern feminism and the West generally have continued to batter masculinity churning out feminine men. Then you have the scourge of single motherhood so no male examples for their sons who either grow up with mummy issues or hate their gender. Could be the reason we have more transgendering into females. Nigeria doesn't fare any better; the boys are brought out with fragile egos that they begin to cower around women who can hold her own and/or try to break her. Bullying is a sign of inferiority complex. I remember when men/guys had the patience to actually woo a lady and wait for her reply. Today, you hear 'are you doing or not doing' via WhatsApp! I love Bobby Valentino's Slow Down, it is a good old school music.

3. I love that you noticed that

A. Female friendships are fun. I also love female bosses, and as I grew more, I gravitated towards female underwear vendors. I can sit in your stall and tell you how I want thongs matching my bras and you will dig out various patterns for that purpose while we chit chat lightly. Yettymuse seems to be a G, she reminds me of Ybaby.

B. 100% pass mark. When you are done, you feel like a lady or a princess.

C. Warris this? I am sure I would have gotten a ban from the court or charged for contempt when I will tell someone sweetly that 'a gentleman in skirt is a crossdresser; I am a lady' . Represented my company in court once and giggled when I was told to address the female judge as 'Sir' and not ma. After the third giggle, she wanted to charge me for contempt and I received sense sharperly.

D. Femininity is powerful. I remember a lady in a tough role then. She would tell you no with a smile that you would 'pity her for the burden for saying no'. She was very beautiful, feminine, had a nice shape which wasn't so pronounced based in the cloths she wore. Then another lady took over (had badass figure , wasn't so feminine and had serious issues that she would dig out her predecessor's mail and be like see 'I am not trying to be difficult; even XYZ said no before'. That's when I learnt that femininity actually trumps sexiness.

5. It is really really key to find that balance when in a relationship. Leading in your masculinity would attract a feminine man; Perhaps she got a masculine man or a man in the middle if the relationship progresses and the woman continues in her masculinity, he would either leave her in that relationship (physically or emotionally) or tilt towards feminine. Some people are not grounded in their 'sexuality' and tilt towards the opposite end of the energy received from their partners. That's why a man can be 'irresponsible' or not manly with woman A and become a perfect gentleman with woman B. Or a woman is a tigress with man A and becomes a dove with man B.

E. You are welcome. And I apologise that I have and would continue to spam your mentions as I redirect peeps to that post.

TBC

folake4u:
Lol. My dear, it's not only you oh.
She say na pink wine. 😂😂😂😂

Yesterday I drank Caprisun, today I took Berry Blast. This country dey wear me out daily.

Pele. Try and feed well so you won't lose more weight oh. Ahhh.


Hehehe. For real. Na why I nor like that tag "Strong woman" cos e dey do me somehow for my body. 😂😂😂 I nor wan strong oh, I wan soft abeg.

One man's strength is another's weakness. Indeed you have spoken well. And that's why I don't just follow people to do what they're doing cos there is no just one path in life. Everybody's path in life is different and it also applies to men and women characters.

When I hear strong, independent, boss babe, boss lady etc, it gives the vibes that being a woman/lady is not enough.

It also reminds me of 'strong man' in the Bible which is actually an 'demonic power/force'. Maybe that's why don't use the tag in the first place.

A man you attract with the boss babe/ strong independent vibes is a feminine man who wants you to lead the relationship, perhaps be the major breadwinner and still be 'respected' as the boss.

So monkey dey work, baboon dey chop

Persephone1:
Lol @Folake and Bukatyne una sha wan drag me down this lane by fire by force.

1. The thing is the word Feminity and Masculinity sound limiting, caging, and boxing to me. Let me explain.
You see when people list characters that are expected to be displayed by a specific gender I find it very very hard to digest. In my perception, it is trying to mold a human into a specific shape or structure thereby limiting his (both genders) abilities and uniqueness.

2. The truth is Man and Woman characters can not be easily separated no matter how people try. For example it is expected of women to be overly emotional, nurturing,temperamental and impatient but in reality, some men exhibit these attributes more than some women. A guy had cried severally in my presence because of his misbehaving girlfriend while I have never shed a tear in the presence of anyone apart from my family member as an adult. Some women are calm, not nurturing, emotionless, and very patient. Lol, ma I add LOGICAL . I do not believe in gender differences. I believe humans have strengths and weaknesses. Aside from biological / Physical features, I don't think a man and a woman differ, society makes it seem so.

3. I once dated a guy who was so insecure around me. The dude practically went as far as verbally abuse just to break me and make me "come down from my high horse" . It's not that I'm proud or I talk much lol but to him I didn't exhibit the characters society have conditioned him to expect from a woman. I'm not dependent, I express my displeasures in the most gentle way ever, I don't shout. I don't do things most ladies do, I loved him differently. Lol as matter of fact when I wanted to break up with him, I wrote him a letter. Yes that weird and maybe archaic, my choice of music? lol make i no go there . I believe he didn't know how to handle or deal with my kind of person. It's not my fault my conditioning was different. I'm just me. ..

4. This is how far society have influenced people into thinking a gender should act and behave a specific way. To me it's bullshit! It is changing the nature of a person. Putting the unnecessary burden of conforming to an idea different from a persons genetic makeup. So if I can lift an item of 50kg, I shouldn't because it will make me masculine? Is that how I am expected to live? Hell No!

5. A woman can achieve a lot, be an high flyer and retain whatever she wants to retain. As long as it is not detrimental to humanity. Yes she can. She should find someone who believes what she believes.

6. It's one of the reason I don't bother myself with Nigerian men or at least the conditioned ones. The problem is we Nigerian women don't explore. We say yes to whoever "finds" us and not position for who we want to find us. There's a difference. Lol Not me though

No other thoughts, I don type too much.

1 & 2. Men & Women are different; express needs and wants differently, are concerned about different things, seeks different things in each gender etc. The difference is not just because society said so. You can look up Folak.e4u's post on the previous page where she had the chart attached on masculinity and femininity. For instance, if you pick one million couples across different cultures, you will find that larger percentage of women & men (above 75% just to be generous) would have same experiences and 'complaints'. Gender stereotypes also exist for a reason: a larger percentage of each sex falls into that bucket (even if it might be exaggerated for good or evil). That doesn’t negate the fact that all humans have their unique differences (weaknesses and strenghts).

3. While there is no context to the relationship issues, I noticed you said 'I am not dependent'. The truth is every man wants to be needed by his woman. The need might not be monetary even though the masculine loves to share his resources (sweat) with his woman. That's why a man makes more money and thinks of spoiling his woman or getting more women. Your man wants to look at you and say 'I am responsible for that beauty in her life; I am adding that '. If a man doesn't feel needed, he walks out; if a woman doesn't feel needed, she bends backwards to prove she is useful. (Just chipping this in for the next guy). Though with the verbal abuse and trying to break you, it is good riddance to bad rubbish. If he was masculine, he would known how to communicate his concerns without the hysterics. Also a masculine man defaultly brings out the feminine in his woman.

4. I believe we can learn to be feminine within our personality (how it is said daddies teach their boys how to be men). Mbok, why do you want to lift 50kg of rice when there are men around you? You should only lift such weights in the gym please (You made me remember babyosisi when she was cutting chicken and shouting she was 'doing Azubuike's work'

5. True

6. These concepts are not Nigerian concepts

I must add that femininity can be learnt; just how we learn to be hardworking, persevere, integrity etc. etc. Folake4u's response to me with the chart is a really good place to start.

Also, women have a dose of masculinity how men have a bit of femininity; knowing when to use what is also key.

Women with feminine men (who cannot end the relationship e.g. marriage) need to realise that leading in the relationship and picking up the lack would only make the man more complacent. If you need something done (that is his role) and you rush to do it because you cannot wait (leading in your masculine), you have only taught him that after your raving and ranting, you will do it. So he just bears the ranting and waits till you do it. So you are burdened with your natural feminine roles and his masculine role. Not a good place to be.

dollyjoy:
The truth is, I don’t understand the full grasp of what femininity actually entails (yet) but one time I read one of my favorite diaries(now deactivated ) were she explained tapping into that feminine energy and not everytime gra gra!

I put it into practice and I noticed that being “feminine” or rather appearing to be “soft” has a way of getting things done especially with the opposite sex

For instance, one time I was caught by an army man making a call at their barrack, the man took my phone and told me I won’t get it again. Immediately I remembered her tutorials and smiled softly at the man, in my sweetest voice I was appealing to him, when he doesn’t seem to be moved, I faked a tear
The man give me my phone back after “don’t try it again” a man wouldn’t have had it that easy or rather, if I hadn’t appeared to be weak, perhaps

From that day I realized life no be gra gra( in some circumstances sha)
It has worked for me in so many other ways. I get things done easily with a little smile, knowing when to say sorry, eye contacts, knowing when to keep quiet, wearing the right perfumes and a little neck bending

Since that time, I perceive femininity as being soft spoken, appearing to be meek, carrying one self with a certain form of gentleness, it could be the way a woman make eye contact, her smile, even the way she walks! a total state of being “girly”

God bless Yettymuse wherever she is, I didn’t have the chance to tell her following her femininity tips got me my phone back without much stress



Please what is high flyer? I am hearing that for the first time or do you mean a woman who is well to do?

High flyer for the first time, interesting

I love your story and big ups to yettymuse. You must look for her to thank her

You have a grasp of what a part of femininity entails and like you have realized, gra gra doesn't work everytime. God has given women a tool to get what she wants done: her femininity.

dollyjoy:
The truth is, I don’t understand the full grasp of what femininity actually entails (yet) but one time I read one of my favorite diaries(now deactivated ) were she explained tapping into that feminine energy and not everytime gra gra!

I put it into practice and I noticed that being “feminine” or rather appearing to be “soft” has a way of getting things done especially with the opposite sex

For instance, one time I was caught by an army man making a call at their barrack, the man took my phone and told me I won’t get it again. Immediately I remembered her tutorials and smiled softly at the man, in my sweetest voice I was appealing to him, when he doesn’t seem to be moved, I faked a tear
The man give me my phone back after “don’t try it again” a man wouldn’t have had it that easy or rather, if I hadn’t appeared to be weak, perhaps

From that day I realized life no be gra gra( in some circumstances sha)
It has worked for me in so many other ways. I get things done easily with a little smile, knowing when to say sorry, eye contacts, knowing when to keep quiet, wearing the right perfumes and a little neck bending

Since that time, I perceive femininity as being soft spoken, appearing to be meek, carrying one self with a certain form of gentleness, it could be the way a woman make eye contact, her smile, even the way she walks! a total state of being “girly”

God bless Yettymuse wherever she is, I didn’t have the chance to tell her following her femininity tips got me my phone back without much stress



Please what is high flyer? I am hearing that for the first time or do you mean a woman who is well to do?

High flyer for the first time, interesting

I love your story and big ups to yettymuse. You must look for her to thank her

folake4u:
Ohhhhh. It's buka.tyne that brought up the high flyer talk. I guess she means a career oriented lady.

Yes yes. I love your answers. Apt and spot on!

I do not subscribe to this current trend of luxurious lifestyle as being feminine.

If you even check my answer before yours, I also said that Women should be true to themselves cos what works for one woman might not necessarily work for the next.

But please add more. I'm loving your contribution.

😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 @ bukatyne brought up the high flyer talk.

High flyers are women who have grown in their careers, businesses or chosen trade.

folake4u:
1. Omo! Just like Persephone1 said, I'm still taking classes in being feminine. 😂

Well, for me, a lady being feminine means one is true to herself. I'd use the word AUTHENTIC.
There's beauty in a lady being authentic to herself. To me, what works for A doesn't necessarily mean it'd work for B.

Well, Klass99 said something that struck me:


In this scenario, a lot of women do this, which sometimes don't make them true to themselves. I'm talking about the word "pretend" here. Well, it might work for some and others, it won't just work.

I'd take myself as an example. I'm terrible at pretending. I can't do it for long too.
For someone like me, pretending to be a "damsel in distress" doesn't work, you'd see through me and I'd be caught in no time. I'd have no option to say "Oya oya, you don catch me". 😂😂😂

BUT...
When I'm genuinely in need for something and I'm hopeless and looking like a lost puppy, subconsciously my "damsel in distress" mode is already activated, when you see me sef, you fit dash me your last kobo.

I observed myself for a while and know what works for me and I stay true to my feminity.

Then secondly, I don't have energy to "pretend" and do stuffs that wont make a man feel emasculated or feel insecure. If he's insecure, that's his cup of sour akamu.

And then again, there are some men that you meet and instead of them activating your feminity, your masculinity jumps out of nowhere. 😂😂😂

Okay. I have said too much.

2. Yes! Yes!! Yes!!!

3. By being true to herself. My mother, Aunties, high flying sistas and friends didn't come this far in their life and career by pretending to be what they're not or downplaying their potentials so as not to bruise a male ego. And it's a common trait with all the Women in my life.

Further comments:
A. Well, my thoughts on this matter is that women should look for positive and well meaning female friends that they can learn from. I have learnt a lot from some women I met here on Nairaland. Their impact is amazing. I am still learning.

B. Women should learn to embrace their femininity. Whether it's booking a spa session or hangout with friends or doing something they love. Just whatever.

C. Women should learn to recognize backhanded compliments from Men and refuse it.

I am a very straightforward person and when I do smart things, they give backhanded compliments like "You're very smart, you're thinking like a man". It is not a compliment. Rather, I find it insulting.

I usually ask "What do you mean?" with a frown on my face. And then they get the code and apologize immediately.

My work colleague knows better now. One time I was following him home and there was a car at the front, he kept yelling at the man "Why you dey drive like woman?" I gave him a bombastic side eye. He avoids saying nonsense to me in his car.

That is not to say I appear masculine. I am a very soft babe. I nor resemble man at all. 😂😂😂

D. Whether we like it or not, we should appreciate ourselves more. Whether masculine or feminine side and know when or not to use it.

I didn't come this far in my life/career by playing a "damsel in distress" but my ambition, stubbornness and doggedness brought me thus far and I appreciate myself for that.

E. Femininity is a weapon and one should seek partners that activate our feminine nature.


I rest my case.

A lot to unpack here.

1. I see the pretending to be a 'damsel in distress' a lot and not just here. Like you and Klass99 said, people would see through pretense which is often termed 'female manipulation or wiles'. A genuine damsel in distress (especially for a woman who can hold her own) is a great turn on for a masculine man. A masculine man loves to be needed, he would not agree to be just an accessory in his woman's life. He wants her life to be a testament to his handiwork. There are unfortunately very feminine men now who are insecure, do not want to lead in a relationship yet would resent when the woman takes up the mantle of leadership. Like someone said, even though he is feminine, he still has the masculine need for respect: double wahala for dead body.

3. If you watch them closely, you would notice that while they do not downplay their capabilities to cater to a fragile ego, they do not lead with it either. They know when to be his princess or baby girl and when to be his queen or 'mother phase'. It is a balance.

A. Fantastic! I am a huge advocate of female to female mentorship and peering. You learn a lot from fellow women. I love someone sited she learnt a bit of femininity from yettymuse before deactivation.

B. I like this too. That why I advised someone here last week to increase her skincare time. Femininity needs pampering and care. Like I say, it is 'expensive' to be a woman mbok!

C. Some of these compliments are from stereotypes and goes both ways. Sometimes, I don't sweat it.

D. Truly, men and women have a bit of masculinity and Femininity in them. It is expected that the corresponding 'sexuality' is higher in the appropriate sex and each person knows when to you use it. You are right that to succeed at work, you embody more of your masculine (though I luckily had bosses and senior female colleagues who radiated Femininity). However, you need to switch to your feminine in your relationship. That's the polarity needed to make a healthy relationship thrive.

E. Fantastic closing remark and I love the images attached to your post. Would help others have more perspective to the discussion.

Geminita:
1. By embracing my gender and not attempting to switch gender. Society says that "women" should be cool-headed and not form "strong". For me, it's just when one embraces one's womanhood (Just like what Klass said).

2. Of course.

3. Knowing when to stop and not acting too bossy.

5. Personality has a role to play in this. We can't act the same way. The most important thing is just to do " YOU" and be reasonable.

1. A woman can be 'strong' (I hate these strong, independent, boss lady, boss babe labels sha ). Look at Folake4u's response to me with the chart. I like the framing than what 'society' says.

3. True. More like settling into her feminine at home

5. Yea, we have different personalities.

I ask jamb questions, I get jamb answers and start running away from marking scripts.

Let me dig in.

Persephone1:
I'm still taking classes on how to be feminine

Eku studying o.

mannatech:
Trying to survive in Nigeria currently is getting hard even as a single guy only responsible for my self. I'm currently working as a meter installer but the job is based on the number of meters you installed. started this job three years ago and so far I have gathered some experience the pay is just too low

I have seen a lot of growth potential in the power sector but the metering sub sector is still growing and mostly depends on government's policy but I want to tap into the potential in the power sector.

I would like to know if it's advisable for me at 35 to go back to school and study electrical engineering and what are my chances of getting a long term job afterwards.
Inputs will be greatly appreciated. Thanks

Since you are already in the sub sector, make friends with people in the place you want to move to and seek their advice.

If possible, try and enter the place and school part-time so you are in the system and you would be fighting for regularisation which would be easier.

You are 35 now and would finish around 40 (all things being equal). There would be fresher, younger, more malleable graduates who would have advantage over you graduating each year for the next five years.

Please try to join the system before doing a part-time course so that looking for a job at 40 wouldn't add to your frustrations.

I wish you all the best.

Angelfrost:
Honestly... There should be a universal age limit for vying for this position of Head of State!

No one above 60 should even be in the race... It is ill-advised physically, mentally and otherwise!

Imagine the combined effects of senility and impaired physical stamina!...

America and Americans can do better!!!

Honestly!

He is 80+ and should go and rest after this tenure though it seems he is contesting for the 2nd term.

Persephone1:


This question/ topic isn't for me . Lemme just read

Why?

The target audience on IG is actually single ladies.

The problem here is your mom.

Why would she let a 17yr old boy talk to her anyhow?

And no igbati oloyi accompanied it?

Or she sits on him when his cup is full and twist that mouth he uses to talk to her shakashaka.

OvertheTop:
So a Family of 4 including 1 wife + 2 kids Cannot Live and Start Building a House in Lagos abi....
Dey Play...

Be Waiting for 2 Million per Month if you would see it

In your haste to respond, you did not read to comprehend.

The guy said large family; I do not know where a wife with two kids became a large family.

Secondly, how do you know that our take home is currently not N2m per month?

Or do you have access to my family's purse?

PHIPEX:
If some families live on 200k monthly expenses, why wouldn't he save the remaining 200k and build? Are you saying families can't live on 200k? If this guy reduces his fuelling alone, do you know how much he will save from fuel alone?

400k per month, large family, building a house (all in Lagos) doesn't work oga

He either has another source of funds (stealing/begging at work, wife, side hustle, rich relatives etc.), he is lying to you or they are living in sub zero conditions.

siofra:
I saw this in a video and I was amused. Since morning I've been showing it to anyone who cares. It looks like an alien egg. Definitely not the kind of eggs I'm used to seeing.

We learn new things everyday.

Looks like big sea shells.

God is great.

AmazonTopaz:
1. There would be no changes because it benefits men. It is their get-out-of-responsibility-free card.

2. The OP in my view is in no position to contact the biological father. It is illogical to do this and so I agree that it should be the mother of the girl and by reasons best known to her if she doesn't want to do it the OP should respect it he has no standing on this issue.

3. If I were the deadbeat father shame go catch me and you would not even see me there I will just be minding my business but men unfortunately are allowed to be shameless in this society.

1. True

2. I don’t understand; he will look for a father (he doesn't know the whereabouts) and after the miracle of finding him introduce himself as what? What if the man has re-married and did not tell his new family that he is after 1? It even shows that the OP lacks critical thinking and what it takes to lead a home. The moment he knew that he was marrying the lady, he should have influenced her to see reason why her father should be engaged and implore her till she agrees. But no, he proposed and is at the point of list collection realised that he 'needs' the biological father.

3. Shame ke? You see them dancing like they did most of the work. Anyways, the mothers are always compensated; doing very well for themselves and enjoying the kids when they succeed. The fathers usually dissolve back to where they came from. Maybe just sending monthly upkeep money to them if required.

Coleman7:
If I may translate it........ You buy fuel from fuel station and add other solvent in it to increase the quantity.
That is to say, you buy 20 liters and after you additives you will have 30 litres...... Lol.
Mr Man you're ur under cyber arrest for false declaration and induced.......... Please make una help me complete am.. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.

Watch your back because of agencies that procescute black marketers...

It is the addictives (if true) that would make them evil.

Else, they are just the typical Nigerians cashing out from other people's misfortune.

AmazonTopaz:
I have been waiting for this comment.

It's the patriarchal culture.

By now, there should have been changes to it.

Even if anyone is to contact the deadbeat father or his family, it should be the girl's mother.

Interestingly, if it were the son getting married, the father is not needed enough to start hunting for him. (At least in Yoruba land)

Joseph77200:
I'm not even surprised you are a lady so I know how you all do reason but I am not the one who needed the advice you can direct it to the man who is here seeking for opinions by telling him to end the relationship if he doesn't believe the story he was told by the mother and daughter.

Didn't you see the big bright F in front of my moniker before quoting me the first time?

Why would you be surprised that I am a lady?

IamMobisola:
Like I don’t understand them. He should go and look for another woman who lives with both biological parents

It is not that hard.

After all, there are plenty single ladies in Nigeria.

Klass99:
Buka baby, happy new month to you too. My answers;

1. Embracing my womanhood including the parts I don't like or want. Enjoying the things I love about being a woman, like getting my hair done, a manicure/pedicure. Being as gentle as a dove yet shrewd as a serpent, having to sometimes pretend that I am a damsel in distress to make the opposite gender not feel insecure or emasculated by my strengths and abilities.

2. Oh yes she can.

3. By pretending to be helpless and needing a man when she truly doesn't. And also by not pretending at all but insisting on feminine and masculine roles in her relationship, holding up her end of the bargain while holding her partner accountable to his role.

My thoughts - I am not a pretentious woman, I can't and I don't know how to pretend for long. So I really struggle with down playing my true self in order to be considered feminine enough by certain people.

4. I look very feminine in appearance but I am not when it comes to the usual expectation that a woman will or should take care of others via petting, cooking good food, serving meals at social gatherings, etc.

5. Can I be hospitable? Yes, but mothering people is not my default reaction, I hate hand holding and baby sitting grown ups.....except for aged folks and young children.

Happy new month Klass99 ✨️ ☺️

1. @bold: please some examples/context

2. OK

3. Interesting take here. 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 @ pretending to be helpless and needing a man when she doesn't.

Femininity actually starts from care of yourself. Yes, the warmth and caring for others (without burning yourself) is also important. I would like more context on the bold.

4. I cook good food, like to host/organise and party but I ain't serving nada in a party I did not organise or close enough to the organisers to be assigned a role (like family party). If you are inviting me to a party or function, you are inviting me to slay, dress up, vibe, mingle with people, eat a little, dance and spray money. I would not even struggle for food; that's how far to the food/drinks stand I like to be.

5. I would have agreed with you but peeps have said I like to mother (not the gentle type though; the African mother giving you bombastic side eye kind of thing )

Joseph77200:
For goodness sake how do people take side without hearing from both sides? You never even find out if this was all true or not and you've started castigated the real father and what of if the real mother sold fake narrations to the daughter and denied the father access because of her own selfish reasons? See don't take side until you know what really happened from both side because life is more deep that hearing from one side and the mother might be lying.

If you don't believe the lady and her mother, then end the relationship.

Is it so hard?

It is things like this that give men the guts to mess up, be deadbeat dads and be assured that someone is coming to look for them tomorrow.

[quote author=folake4u post=123507240][/quote]Done, just copied Gemini.ta's list.

So you go first

My take:

1. Whenever I see people mention Tinubu, it gives me an headache. Buhari removed subsidy ending June 2023 before he left. Even if PDP or LP won, the new president would still grapple with this mess. Everytime you queue for fuel or can't commute to your destination, call Buhari. We have not started feeling Tinubu's shege yet.

2. You either increase funds/resources by cutting cost or generating more revenue. This subsidy removal is cutting cost I.e. there is no saved funds anywhere that would be reallocated to improve other sectors; what the govt wanted to achieve is to reduce the need to borrow funds.

3. Nigeria's issues are multifaceted and subsidy removal actually does nothing for the common Nigerian. To improve our lot, we need friendlier economic policies to attract foreign investors and grow local ones, cut our over dependence on oil and tap into other sectors like agriculture, rebuild the power sector so that more businesses can be powered up, reduce the cost of governance, increase minimum wage, rebuild the health sector, stiffly punish corruption (we can introduce the death penalty to make everyone sit up), have a great maintenance culture, vote leaders without sentiments, enforce our labour laws to curb mischievous employers etc.

4. The govt is not been straightforward with this subsidy business (but when have they ever been? ) To understand the impact to our borrow borrow, we need numbers; how much is the actual landing cost? How much is the subsidy per liter? How many liters of fuel is imported on a monthly basis? How mich fuel is being consumed on a monthly basis? Is the landing cost going to change; if yes, what is the new cost? What is the impact of Dangote's refinery? All this information would help us appreciate the numbers they are throwing around.

Good morning ladies and happy new month 💋 😘 😗

I saw this Instagram post and decided to bring here for our discussion. What do you think? Especially for the writeup on the body of the post on IG?

https://www.instagram.com/p/Cs6lbidIvki/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Take away questions:
1. What do you understand by a lady being feminine or what I usually call (Queen and Princess state of mind here on NL)

2. Do you think a woman can be a high flyer and still retain her femininity

3. If yes to 2, how?

4. If no to 2, do you believe a woman can have a successful functional relationship without it?

5. Any other thoughts around the topic.

Cc
Pocohantas
Folake4U
Ahnie01
PrimadonnaO
Annahh
Humorme2
Sisitito01
Doggedfighter
Cococandy
Babythug
Teespice
Persephone1
Klass99
Geminita

Essenza01:
Its not even the best of apartments, its just a regular place in Ajah axis... i still have to wake up 5am to run out...

Bros, you pay N1.3m per annum for 2 bedroom flat in Ajah axis and still wake up by 5am?

You are neither saving on cost (housing, fueling and car maintenance) nor health (waking up 5am everyday through traffic).

Please move to the mainland near 3rd mainland if you need a two bed so bad.

If your company has a staff bus, leverage on it. If not, there is Shuttlers and other shuttling services.