₦airaland Forum

Mom and wife. You people don’t have fathers? Lmao

Bla bla bla.

Regurgitated BS

Omoawoke:
To be a man is a natural instinct of dominance and power. Maturity and compassion to protect his woman. The western idea of making man and woman play reverse roles or same roles is unrealistic and that’s why they have made so many men weak and docile. They are killing the natural instinct. And guess what, it is beginning to backfire seriously. The rate of marriage in US for instance has declined by over 60% in the last 2 decades alone.
The rate of depression and loneliness in western world is becoming alarming and scary. So many single ladies in the society. women in the 30s, 40s 50s to 60s still looking for love.
Ronaldo and Mikel obi system is the new format now. And with time that will be the default format and the best your gender will get. Otherwise stay single forever.
Western marriage is too harsh on the male gender and the system is not sustainable

nairalanda1:
What this shows me is many Nigerian men are ready to marry their mothers, and are not ready to be dads and fathers and husbands.

Anyone praising hakimi, if he has a legal argument with his mother tomorrow, he has nothing.

Finally, i am sad that Nigerian men and women hate each other so much. Really sad

Nigerian women don’t hate Nigerian men. With the average mindset of a Nigerian man, it’s a miracle Nigerian women still put up with them. Talking about hate, they are the ones who hate women with every fiber of their beings and they don’t hide it.

The women are not allowed to actually acknowledge this fact or they are accused of playing victim.

If hakim’s wife was the rich one who signed her property to her mom, you won’t see Nigerian women all over the internet praising her.
All you need to do is post a video or article about something bad that happened to a woman to see them coming out in droves to rejoice. It’s appalling

So because she’s maturing a footballer she would be okay with being exposed to all kinds of STDs?

Some of you are just disgusting

Omoawoke:
You never wise, you don’t know these women.
When she was marrying a football star, she knows definitely the chance of him falling into one of her genders seduction is very high and likely. And that was her exit plan to cash out. It was never unexpected. If he had not married her and just kept her like Ronaldo did, he may not even face any of these allegations.
Do you know women sometimes set up their husbands and hire private investigators to nail them and cash out through divorce. Lol

Read the comments and know why I have zero empathy for any Nigerian dude. They want to be able to cheat on you, disrespect you and force you to stay with them through it. Most of you have that disgusting mindset and that’s why my empathy is never wasted on y’all.

Before you come saying “not all of them” I know. Lol. Save it.
Let the few good ones speak against the predatory vile ones

Neddstark:
And is dating a 22 year old girl. While Peter is with someone who is menopausal.

Dating a 22 year old is winning?
Sounds embarrassing and immature

Neddstark:
King of simps
Slave who loves his chains.
Forced himself to marry a MILF and is ready to write a book to pretend he did the right thing. While his younger brother is rocking his life like never before.

The younger brother that’s now divorced?

Oh my gosh 🫣

That’s awesome.

tell this to the “men are polygamous” brigade. It’s from that polygamous nature that y’all sow seeds in other men’s vineyards.

Being the logical gender this is an easy conclusion that no one needs to tell any of you but what do I know?

Bossjakande:
I swear Coco since I got married av neva cheated on my woman am a responsible man.is wrong to cheat.i will neva cheat.

isabi2lof:
Fear men , men are the ones doing themselves, why will a man sleep with a married woman.

Women have fish brains bla bla bla but you won't still let them be despite being married.😢

I'm so sorry for the man that his gender bratrayed him 😢😢😢

but men are polygamous in nature. They have the right to sleep with multiple women. Even if it means fathering other men’s kids 🤷🏽‍♀️

Bossjakande:
cheat on ur hubby let see what we happen if dey wont send u back to ur fathers house. Try it if u got d mind.

That doesn’t answer the question tho. So do you believe in “polygamous in nature”? Because this is what awaits those of you who support that. It’s unavoidable for you guys

chatinent:
This should come with a death penalty.

what hurts men should be punished by death but when men hurt, it’s just natural isn’t it? How valid

In tears. Does he believe in “polygamous in nature?”

DNA test will humble y’all

Kasdat5:
With love . From Taraba ....

What’s this?
It looks interesting. Like it might be spicy. Is it spicy?

Lmao

nedekid:
Better to let sleeping dogs lie.
Maybe if the child is still an infant, you can do DNA. But if you are now in your 50s, 60s with grown children, don't just kill yourself by doing DNA.
Did you hear of the baba that suspected his daughter in law. He took his grandchild to do DNA and saw the child did not match him. He sent for his son to come from abroad, told his son that his wife must have cheated on him as the grandson was not theirs. Baba's son insisted on him taking his boy to do DNA. Guess what? It was a match.
Long and short, baba found out in his old age his son was not his. It was mama that actually cheated.

Imagine throwing your whole family away for nothing. Sigh

Asour:
I totally believe your story HOWEVER, always balance a bad story with a good one — BECAUSE good ones abound too.

Otherwise you're just selectively taking single anecdotes and stretching their larger implications.

he knows. He just doesn’t care about being accurate

sukkot:
this woman you get liver oooo. So you would send your children to public school in America and allow them to eat public school food ? Public school na gang bsnging territory be dat oooo. My calculation on spending his salary was based on private school. No caring responsible parent should send their children to American public school

Oh please 🙄 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

1stGenAmerican:
Don’t you love way they try counting everyone’s pockets and calculating their ‘bills’, making it seem like everyone stays with nothing after all is paid? They throw $10/hr around like an insult when the teenagers working part time in the grocery stores make more than that.

At this point we should just agree and say okay 😃

Racoon:
Yet bandits and BH terrorists are being deradicalised and rehabilitated? Killer fulani herdsmen are untouchable? Karma knows how to deal with everyone

obviously karma is riding on the back of a snail because it never seems to arrive and do justice when it’s supposed to

sukkot:
very true indeed. People need to understand abroad is different from abroad. I tell people if you can't get into America just forget it. Other places na suffer .

Well I really like Canada a lot. If not for the lesser income, I prefer it to America. Just my opinion though. I know some people won’t agree

sukkot:
hey listen it's all kinds of stories out there. Many are bad and some are good. Honestly though the good success stories are out of America usually. If you are in Europe nothing for you. Most of our people are in Europe

That’s why threads like these don’t paint a true picture of what it’s actually like. Europe is a whole continent. Same as America. Just imagine if someone started generalizing about Africa when the differences are so vast. There’s no way it makes sense to compare life in South Africa vs Kenya for example. Or ghana vs Cuba. It’s that different even though it’s one central govt but the differences are on the same scale in certain aspects and income is one of those big differences.

I have zero doubts that what you’re saying is absolutely true.

You’re probably not even saying everything so they won’t call you a liar. It’s nairaland sha. Everyone is an expert. No need to explain further. Like you said, let everyone do their personal calculations and figure out what will serve them better.

Throwaway12345:
I think maybe it is for them to feel a lot better about themselves and maybe as a consolation. Yes a lot of people fudge numbers online and tell lies about their earnings but honestly the crop of young Nigerians moving nowadays are very versatile and well read. The average already has a Bachelor's and multiple years of experience and were maybe at the pinnacle of their careers back home and needed to get more out of their careers so they could retire early and make much more money than back home. Yeah, we understand nowhere is easy and you need to value money based on where you live but a lot of us made this move to make much more, reduce the length of service and retire back to Nigeria to enjoy the labour. You would always reach your saving goals faster than whatever Nigeria can offer at the moment. It is common sense and not a dig at the country.

I have lots of young people here and a former colleague is a VP in one of the biggest American Finance coy here(don't want to drop names) . Got the job straight after landing. Another is a Director in one of the FAANGs. So the idea that a lot of Nigerians are doing $10 jobs is just ridiculous. Yeah there are some struggling which is understandable and definitely they have their exit strategies to either return back to school or just waiting for the right openings but a vast majority are doing extremely well for themselves.

On a weekly basis my LinkedIn is hit by nothing less than 30 people searching and this aren't your regular people. Mostly CTOs , CEOs, Founders of which i get at least one chat me up asking if was willing to take a look at one of their roles that is open. I am sure the CTO of a coy isn't looking at my profile and chatting me up to come offer me $10 per hour or $25 or even $50 per hour

I can even double my current 6 figure pay if i took a new role which i am purposely not applying for currently. It would be a great feat to go from a N700k job to 1.5million in Nigeria. It happens but you would be a unicorn. Yes my case might be a lot different and the outlier but from casual conversation it feels like other Nigerian friends are even doing far better which is lovely.

sukkot:
he is not doing the calculations correctly. When he starts paying American school fees he would discover he would reach his financial goals in the year 2060

okay whatever.

That’s how they were calculating for me too but I finished university here with no student loans and don’t owe any education debts.

Two Cousins in Ivy League all expense paid via scholarship. If someone is looking at y’all’s armchair analysis, they’ll never make a move out of fear.

American school fees yen yen. It happens it doesn’t mean there’s no way out.

sukkot:
well I guess ultimately my point is that's too much upheaval for a slight change in living conditions. I mean I would understand if a nigga left a top managerial job in naija that pays 700k a month to come get a Yankee job that pays 20 thousand dollars a month . I can get with that .

m
Meeting your financial goals 4x faster is not a slight change in living conditions. 🙄

I’m not sure you read his post because he was talking specifically about himself and his own personal plans. If you’re not disagreeable, you won’t be arguing with him about what pertains to him specifically as if your generalizations would make a difference in his specific case. I don’t get it.

@bold is this a joke? Obviously Kim Kardashian would be in the streets begging if her income reduced to $1m/month. Does that mean a monthly income of $1m is hardship?
If someone is making 400k a year and they are crying about money, obviously no where on earth will be good enough for them. Definitely not Nigeria will be good for them

sukkot:
that's the beauty of this forum, we challenge each other by arguing respectably. If we all agreed on the same thing it would not be worth coming to. We enjoy the diverse opinions and try to chAllenge it if we see fit lol. But truly I am not a disagreeable person. I just play one on nairaland. He said in Nigeria he manages to save 300k a month. Now you may have more in America for now but when them kids need to get their education paid for because we all know American public schools are gang infested rubbish, when it's time to start paying for that private school in America, it would clean out everything you have saved up. Even people making 400 thousand dollars a year are crying of hardship lmaooo. That's a joke by the wAy but some white people on 400k a yeR do complain of hardship lmao. There was this white guy on 2 million a year. He lost his job and got another for like 400k a year. He said the hardship of living on 400k a year was so unbearable so he jumped out of the window and killed himself lmaoooo

You just love to argue.

Did you read where he still has more money left over at the end of month to put towards his Nigerian dream but he couldn’t have that when he was in Nigeria,

Sigh

. Not everything is an argument. He said his family is doing better financially. You don’t live with them. There’s absolutely no reason to argue with him.

sukkot:
that's good stuff that you had transferable skills. Is it IT ? but brother even at that the amount you put up there is struggle territory for a family of 4 in America. 6500 a month for a family of four ? When you pay your rent, health insurance, car payment, insurance, feeding for 4, school fees, clothing for 4 etc etc in a month that money is finished. I know single people in America who eArn that amount and say they are struggling, talk less of a family of 4. You can't even be in New York or California ,rent would eat all that money up. I wouldn't give up 700,000 per month in Nigeria to go eArn 6500 a month in America. See brother you got bamboozled by the false equivalent. The false equivalent is the exchange rAte but in America you spend dollars and not naira and for example when you convert what you pay per month for rent in America, it would be what you pay for annual rent in naija. The false equivalent . Never compare salaries between two country because the cost of living is never the same between two country

Thank you.

Because it’s like every time someone in Nigeria is calculating pay for others abroad it’s for $10/hr as if that’s the only earning potential possible. meanwhile I’m here surrounded by Nigerian professionals none of whom makes anything less than 6 figures.

But no they are all doing menial jobs. Anyway what if they are?

Throwaway12345:
I think it is about doing a cost to benefit analysis.

Like finance , a lot of people don't know how to do basic calculation and they tend to get a lot emotional about things.

For us it was an economic decision, and trust me i would be open with numbers. We made a combined N700k inclusive of bonuses and incentives after calculation monthly with a lot of headroom for growth. I was a year away from being a Manager and was in a very sort after role. But doing a cost analysis of what i would earn if we were overseas we noticed we were short paid and dping ourselves a disservice staying back. This was guaranteed, i had a lot of interviews that I was about to be offered something but because of my location which was Nigeria they would not be able to employ me because of their government policies or company policies so it was either we move first then apply or i stay back.

But doing basic maths, even the most junior roles I would do got a take home of almost $4500 per month after tax and this was me with almost 8 years of experience in a multinational. And i had a partner who was making about N100k per month. Even if my partner did the most basic jobs like cashier or admin jobs we were just being pretty blunt and a decided a worst case scenario, they would earn $2000 per month. So that makes it a combined of $6500. We did a calculation of cost of living factoring in our 2kids and we arrived at a monthly spend of about $4000 inclusive of rent and utilities. That gives us a savings room of $2500. If we were in Nigeria even with minimal spending, the max we were able to save a month was N300k.

$2500*500 is N1,250,000 monthly saved in Nigeria. That means we are able to get to our goals *4 faster than staying back with me working even the most junior roles. Our plans are to work for maybe 5 to 6 years or till the kids are probably 12. Come back to Nigeria, enroll them in schools here for the final lap of high school with international schools in Nigeria. Max 2 years. Immerse them in the local culture and morals. Then allow them return back for their University education over here. With this, we would have saved ourselves thousands of dollars they would pay as international students as they would be citizens by then.


Truth is.

1. We even make much more than the $6500 we projected.

2. We really do not miss home that much. We weren't the outgoing ones back in Nigeria and our family is closely knit. With the kids you are already gassed out with their wahala to even think of going up and down. So it's almost same outlook living here.

3. I am far ahead of my peers in Nigeria now . Even though I worked for a multinational. The cost outlay for the cutting edge technologies I work with now is way out of what the Nigerian arm would be able to afford so I would never be able to ever work or experiment with such until after 3 to 5 years when the cost has become more cost effective for the Nigerian arm to deploy. Also please note that even as good as i was in Nigeria, the guarantees of getting the same type of job i was doing back then with same pay was almost 10%. If i lost my Nigerian job, i might have lost significant pay that's if i ever got another job. That was a big motivation to leave. It was purely economical. I already changed jobs twice and even have higher offers lined up that i am unwilling to take because the current coy gives the perfect balance between work and family I always wanted.

4. Our greatest fears are the kids. With the role I am in and how versatile I am. I would never work a minimum wage job guaranteed for the next forseeable future and even as at now we are building our emergency funds and saving like crazy to provide cushion for any unforseen circumstances. Economy can take a down turn or whatever. So we are getting there.

We prioritize the culture and feel the Aftican culture is amazing. We are afraid we would not be able to give our kids the same outlook and experience we had growing up. We are trying to, but raising kids here is extremely challenging. It takes a community to raise a kid and your kid would learn from the environment that it is okay to cut ties with families, personalize the individual over the community/family in their dealings. The idea of family from an African context is lovely and would want them to imbibe the positive aspects of such growing up. We do a lot of work with their local language and it is a strictly 90% local language in the house but you sure know it can never be like them having a community of speakers close by.


So bottomline. Do your calculations. We are a special case. If your job does not have transferable skills and you would end up doing minimum wage jobs here, i really would rather find a way to do some more training back home and test the waters by applying and see how you place before moving. Also, people who have partners have it much more easier if you can combine finances even if both do minimum wage jobs. You just might do more hours and you need to be level headed and have an end game and exit. You should be fine might just be much more difficult and I believe this is one of the reasons most new immigrants divorce or grow apart in the first few years of moving as this leads to a lot of resentment that eventually breaks the marriage. It ain't easy leaving a cushy job to come do menial jobs just to have a roof over your head.

Saladdin:
Some wives are worth their weight in gold. Nice to see they got help.

That would be millions of Nigerian wives because not many men are doing well financially and their wives stand by them. Only on NL are they all rich and the women are gold diggers

People on this forum are just….different

It’s heartbreaking

successmatters:
Hmmm

There will be no treason charges
There will be no DSS calls
There will be no investigation
No comments from FFK
No comments from Bayo bigot
No comments from Reno with toilet mouth

Everyone will move on, till the next massacre in a few days time.

Sorry Nigeria.