Mariangeles:
So, you're having sex with the both of them eekwa?
Choose neither because you're not good enough for any of them.

This is a problem?

JONNYSPUTE:
.....You nailed it. Why won't his 8 years old child keep insulting the boy and calling him names when his wife is doing exactly same.

I'm telling you...

recklesslove:
It's easy for everyone to point fingers but we should bring this thing home. How are we condoning our kids that are bully? Those children who did that to Sylvester didn't start that day. We brought a boy from the village to stay with us, one day we suddenly discovered that boy had ran away. A mad search n a million questions ensued. What could have happened? What if we don't find him? Long story short we found him and we discovered that my 8 year old son was mentally torturing this 11 year old boy, calling him names , my son attends a Christian school, a very popular one in my city, n he attends church n Bible school but at the end of d day children take after what they see not what they r taught. My wife insults people that she feels are lesser than her. So bullying is a learned behaviour from the parent / parents.

Children copy what they see their parents do, that's a fact.

For a child to taunt another child for not having a washing machine or a dish washer at home, it's clear that his parents have failed.

Behaviour like that can only be learned from the adults in a child's life.

Belafonte:
If this one is more normal than the rest then the rest must be roaming streets because this one is clearly not okay

The others are just experts at masking theirs...

Datboredberry:
You can't comprehend what I've written?

I'm not saying, "compliment every woman"...

The point is, "don't body-shame women"...

You see a random woman... Just walk up to her and say, "you're ugly"?

How is that necessary? Are you obligated to dish out your unsolicited opinions?

You could be decent and civilized... Just ignore and if need be, politely turn down her advances...

You make it seem like you're on somesort of revenge mission?

It's weird... Because I know you ain't perfect... No one is...

But you seem to think that you're so great you're in the position to judge others...

You might not be anyone's type... Keep those shoulders down...okay?

Perhaps you're the one who doesn't comprehend what the gentleman was trying to say.

Let me see if I can help...

You see, if you're skinny and someone tells you that you're skinny... That is NOT body-shaming, this is telling you the truth.

A fat person is a fat person, an obese person is obese...
If you're afflicted with stretch marks and someone reminds you of this fact, this is NOT body-shaming.

It is simply because a lot of you chics have not made peace with yourselves and accepted the truth about your looks, this is the reason why you feel bad about being told what you look like.

zed7:
Do you know the meaning of a vasectomy? If you run off with another man or God forbid you die, what happens?
It's either you do family planning or you guys use condoms. Stop talking nonsense about vasectomy to a young man.

I've been stumbling on this lady's posts occasionally and it's easy to observe that she not so 'alright'.

She's actually more 'alright' than a lot of them on this forum.

She finally put to test what she has been seeing some of her gender people suggest here so carelessly, and she has found out that real life is real life.

Which young man will you tell to undergo a vasectomy for you and he will wag his tail like a puppy and tell you YES MA?

Jokes...

Mercychen:


Exactly!
God bless you.


You know with the female family planning comes a lot of risk and issues of mismatch or even failure which leads to unwanted pregnancies. While the male type is safer and with less risks.

You want to lose a good man because you've been listening to our resident pseudo-feminists and SJWs on Nairaland who keep suggesting that men should go for vasectomies abi...

Lady, you need to stop paying attention to what a lot of your gender people claim on the internet... It's not real life oo.
You will just carry what you learnt here and use it to spoil a good thing that is working out for you.

Ask around on NL, how many of these women who preach about vasectomies have actually made their husbands do it?
They are all still partaking in the 'withdrawal method' and letting their men pour his spérm on their stomach or on their breasts, BUT they will come on NL to advise the rest of you to tell your men to do snip-snip...

Take it easy abeg...

At least now you have seen that most men will NEVER entertain the idea.

If you like, start a new relationship with another dude and then tell him to do a vasectomy, that's how he will still tell you NO and you'll be back to singlehood again.

Richy4:


My bro.. I have applied Full stop on this thread.. I would have answered u.. but I was clearly upsetting someone ..

Lol

Richy4:
But you were not even sure if it was an infidelity... U were simply speculating....
<< The wife has not spoken...
<<The Mutual friend (Priest) have not said anything to any of you...
So how did you know that indeed adulterous act actually took place

She only tells the husband that whatever she did wrong, that she has confessed to God.

You seem to have deliberately ignored this part in a bid to appear open-minded.

Favfables1:


When a person acts in a manner regarded as suspicious, he/she puts himself or herself in a position that will cause others to misinterprete his/her motive...

We can't say for sure whether or not she is cheating, buh her actions are indeed suspicious...

Why is she always deleting her chat with that priest?? What is she hiding that she doesn't want her husband to see?? Why is she being defensive and dismissive when confronted about the time she spends with the priest?? And in marriage who should be your greatest confidant, a priest or your spouse??

If it smells like a rotten corpse, then there's definitely something rotten around.

That woman cheated... it should be obvious to any discerning person.

Witlee1:


Thanks for the advice
I'll work on that, since I'll be doing right by my child, is it bad if I want the child to visit me from time to time (not frequently) since it's obvious my gf isn't interested in us anymore?

It is not bad and as a matter of fact, it is your right to demand it.

However, since the child is with them , they hold the upper hand and can restrict you from a lot of things.

My suggestion is that you should not push it.
Just do what they allow you to do and leave the rest.

Witlee1:


Thanks

Females on here don't know there are many things involved in being married to someone cuz too many responsibilities abound, in my case I'm the only one because the girl is still in school and isn't doing anything to bring in income
Marriage is not something I could just rush into, my question is why wait when I took care of their daughter with the baby but they can't wait a few more years for me to be capable of bearing all the responsibilities coming with marriage and then decided I shouldn't see my child unless I do their bidding?

It's too far na... When other men are showing interest, they should all now be waiting for you? Ahh!

There's no loyalty on these streets bruv

ucheheart:
First how are we sure you are the father of that child, for your gf to team up with her mother and do this to you, the parternity of that child is questionable. But if you are really the father of the child, just relax, they will beg you to carry your responsibility when they get tired of their drama.

Another angle oo...

Mariangeles:


It is never too late for one to correct their mistakes(s).
You no go look say e don happen, come dey make matters worse.

I also believe the guy led them on to believe he was going to marry the mother of his child any time soon, until it dawned on the mother (of his girlfriend).

So why are they reporting him to human rights and telling him to NEVER contact his gf anymore?

If their intentions were pure, shouldn't everyone involved be looking for a way to amicably reach a resolution that will ensure they get married?

Wetin come dey cause all the animosity now?
Or is there anything the OP did that I did not read?

It's like you don't want to reason this thing thoroughly oo...

Witlee1:

I'll do my investigations but I don't think that's what they want to do

I'll gladly love it if you can tell me how I can go about this if it's true

My brother, entertain ALL possibilities...

If it was marriage they wanted you to finalize with their daughter, they would state it clearly and not report you to human rights... Wetin you do dem? Lol

Ignoring you and insulting you when you've done nothing to warrant it is a sign that something is amiss... And like I suspect, dem fit don see man with enticing money wey ready to marry their pikin.

I just read somewhere you stated that you have done the introduction... Wow.
See bro, there's another man in the picture.. I am now much more certain.

As for what you can do assuming my suspicions are accurate, my guy there's nothing you can do.
You don't want to be that man who goes to beg a woman's family to allow you marry their daughter even when she and her mother are already disrespecting you like this.

Just let them be and focus on doing right by your child however way you can.

Mariangeles:

What likely happened was that the mother called her daughter to order before he impregnates her the second time without marrying her, which is what a good mother would do.
It happened the first time, shame on the mother if the mistake happens the second time under her watch.

She called her daughter to order after two years of letting them cohabit like husband and wife?

For the one year and eight months when he was dutifully catering for her grandchild and daughter, it did not occur to her then that they're supposed to make it official abi...

Yeah, she's a really good mother.

If there's indeed another suitor coming for her hand, which I pray there is, I don't see anything bad in it.
She should go for it since the father of her child isn't showing any seriousness.

I don't see anything bad in it either, I'm simply making him aware of that possibility.

I've always been of the opinion that being a mother and being a wife are two very different things and a man should not be under any compulsion to marry a woman who has had a child for him.

Favfables1:
Do people still ask ladies out these days ...

The thing sef dey shock me...

That pastor must be a spec, or perhaps na jazz he dey use...

Anyhow, the takeaway from this news is that if as a husband, you still believe that your modern Nigerian wife can NEVER cheat on you or leave you, the joke is on you oo...

ahnie:

Banana,what's that face for?

I'm feeling bad na...

ahnie:

Banana after how many weeks?
Continue no wahala.

They have found husband for your girlfriend na.. it's like you dun even know warris going on.

Do your investigation, you will find out from another "reliable source" that there's a suitor coming around for your girlfriend's hand, and he is enticing her and her mother with the money you could not afford to give them.

I wish you well my brother...
The only thing that should concern you now is how you can still be seeing your child. Forget about your girlfriend, she's not your own anymore.

Cheers...

So you carry basin wey we dey use soak cloth use am take cook beans with firewood... Ehn ehn Annie!!!

Iyaebe:
Start beating your chest very well because there are still women faithful to the core no matter how long the husband is away.

Mbanu, I can't try it...

NoToPile:


Reasonable? okay, I personally can't condone a light fingered person in my home.

Most of the stealing lots of us did as kids /teens were licking milo and milk from pangolo and extra meat from pot and five naira change we keep in the pocket with the hope mummy won't remember and we still chopped better cane for it.

This boy is not attempting to steal what seems to be age appropriate, he's been accused of money and laptop for me it's a big issue, address the main issue, leave her aim out of it.

And yes his image and that of his guardians (OP included) are being tarnished even if it's a mere accusation. So even if the OP is concerned about herself and hubby she has a right to be after all he lives with them.

Besides I still remember the bad boys in sec school.

All thief na thief abeg...

The main issue is that he remains accused, not guilty.

As for the bad boys you remember, are they still "bad" boys today?
Did their bad boy image in secondary school affect them or their parents/guardians today?

Since 2007? Hian...

It's that your elder brother and the rest of you who thought that a woman in that situation can stay faithful, that I blame...

Even for ONLY one year sef, I cannot beat my chest and say that any of our modern Nigerian women can stay faithful to a man they're not seeing. Na ment?

Well since y'all have pushed her out, problem solved for everyone involved.

Mariangeles:


What if she’s genuinely concerned about the nephew? I choose to believe that she is until proven otherwise.

Her choice of words and her judgements on the boy already say otherwise.

Mariangeles:
@Lamanii22, you have to be very careful how you bring your family issues to nairaland, especially sensitive ones. And with your real account too.
It is for your own good dear.
You don’t want people twisting your words and casting their negative vibes on you.
Whatever family issues you need to discuss, discuss them with your spouse.

Oh please, don't be willfully patronizing to her... No one is twisting her words.

She is gloating, plain and simple... It's as obvious as the white on rice.

She's talking about being "worried" about the image of a boy in a boarding school that he will eventually graduate from and probably never see anyone from there again, a boy that hasn't even been proven guilty...

Like seriously, what image can anyone have in primary/secondary school that will follow them for life?
It's a non-issue as far as the trajectory of a person's life is concerned.

Such faux concern for his image is bullshít because he is but just a boy, not an adult. You don't write-off a child you love, and this is how I know for a fact that she doesn't like him.

Would she type in that manner if the boy were her own son, or perhaps she's one of those people who will scream "my son can never be involved in something like this".

Let's try to be reasonable, shall we?

A lot of you (if not all of you) stole little things here and there when you were kids, don't even deny it.... Yet it seems y'all still turned out okay.

So school has resumed already...

I thought he just came from school barely 3weeks ago to spend the holidays at your place...
That holiday don finish just now ke?

If they seized his phone and assuming he is a boarder, wouldn't this seizure be because he is not supposed to have a phone with him?
It's been a very long time for me oo, but I don't remember schools allowing students to keep phones while in boarding house.

Anyway, you and this your nephew matter just get as e be... I taya for you.

The thread even comes off like an avenue for gloating.
They have not actually seen him with the stolen laptop, but you have concluded & decided that you were right and he is a thief.

Your next update will probably be how they have finally found the laptop under his bunk or inside his cupboard. Because agenda must to agend...

Wahala for who get aunty wey nor like am oo..

efighter:
Ladies want whom they can control. First borns are determined and uncontrollable. Only sons are monitored closely by family and relatives, so evil wives cannot control only sons.

Another angle ee...

Now that I think about it, it's been a really long time I "approached" a lady because I "like" her oo. Chei, life...
When men were boys...


I believe as a man, there's a certain stage you get to in life that conversations with the opposite gender just flow without really trying to make it into an "approach" per se... And from that first conversation onwards, a friendship could develop if one or both of you always keeps in touch.

The secret to any of this is in reading the cues, reading her non-verbal gestures...
You should be able to detect when a woman is open to you, likes you, or is minutely into you, even if you're just meeting her for the very first time.
Women who fit into this category are the ONLY ones your conversations can flow with easily, and you mustn't bother yourself with the ones who give off that 'stay away' vibe.


However OP, if you're really here looking for "procedure" on how to approach a woman from women themselves, then carry on and ignore my submission above.
Just sha know that you will end up trying what you've been told here and it won't work because every woman is different. For some, na ignore dem go just ignore you if you stick to "procedure".

This one that almost everybody is just talking about man and husband...

My own is, a woman that doesn't know how to to cook, how will she be able to feed her own children properly?

This is just one example of the many problems bedeviling you so-called modern women – una nor dey ever gree think further than the length of your wigs and fake eyelashes.

Iyaebe:
Please is it compulsory that a lady must know how to cook before marriage? What if her fiancee accepts her like that, should she still entertain any fears or she should go learn before the marriage.

As the fiancé has accepted her like that, should the unborn kids who will require good nutrition for proper growth also accept her like that?