₦airaland Forum

Old story. It did happen and it was a northerner but must we recap this type of story in 2011? Which prominent northerner doesnt know what to do when done with tea drinking now? Some of those yabbing are probably also learning tea table manners here for the first time
Many giggling here have had their own embarrassing moments so whats the big deal?

WHAAAT!!! This happens to be a friends dad and never knew this about him. Always known him to be a strong willed man anyway so i am not surprised that he survived albeit with gods assistance. May God grant him many more years living in good health and may the souls of the departed rest in peace.

Whats all this Yoruba are cowards talk about?  Which group of people ran out of Lagos during the June 12 imbroglio to avoid the many battles against the govt then? Which group fought IBB and Abacha and why did it become necessary to make a Yoruba man the president in 2003? Is it not due to diplomacy and silent war? Forget old history of the ancient wars which gave rise to a large empire. Is Benjamin Adekunle who terrorised Biafra an Igbo man? The thing is Yorubas after many years of wars have learnt better ways of dealing with their problems ( probably the reason why most Naija human rights activists are Yoruba). Apart from that, Yorubas are hospitable people in their own land and expect to live in peace wherever they go otherwise they relocate. Those who choose to make their towns difficult to live in should be ready to face economic downturn.

BTW how come Igbos in the North are relocating now that they are being killed by BH especially in Maiduguri? How about those killed for not being able to recite the Quran in Minna?  Why didnt their brothers take up arms against the hausas there? Why dont you fight for your right in another mans land?

And for those beating war drums, its clear you dont know much about past wars, the outcomes, effects and changes in society. Is Dokubo not a muslim? And Auchi people?

Soso yeye talk by ignorant people. Mscheeeewww!!

@OP
You can help her get over it through counselling and visiting the doctor/psychiatrist. I dont know if we have something close to AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) in Naija but you can find out. She may benefit from associating with them.

Problem is that a woman who drinks under a normal situation may get worse when tensed up or in traumatic conditions. Will you be able to handle this if she refuses to change or goes back to her drinks later in life?

Baby mamas who genuinely made mistakes and are of good behavior shouldnt have problems settling down. They need to repackage themselves and be willing to consider single dads instead of looking out for only single men most of whom prefer single ladies.

@OP
Walk away from impending disaster. This is lust since you still love your fiancee. You are just lonely and trying to fill the gap by stepping on a potential landmine.

Strangely you are even rationalising on HIV. Abeg waka fast o.

Ignorance due to poor education and lack of exposure.

Home cleaning and makeover business is lucrative, desired by many and can be started with minimal capital. Trust is however a critical factor which is lacking in todays world.

Greedy, shady

WONDERFUL! You guys just made me remember my grandma who used to weave with an equipment (weaving loom?) fitted on one side of her kitchen. I enjoyed watching her spin the cotton but was too young to comprehend what it was all about during our short visits. Now i wish i was old enough to ask a few questions or at least take her photographs while at work. I also know that copper was made into jewellery by the goldsmiths as far back as when she was young. I still have one of her designed pendants which was given to me when she died.

We do have a great heritage to be proud of. God bless you guys for this free enlightenment series on Nigerian arts and culture.

Whatever anybody says, Awo was a great man. If today's leaders can just do half of what he did, Nigeria will go places. Same way Sardauna did so much for the North unlike today's Northern leaders who prefer to be rich alone and ranka deded while the masses reel in ignorance and poverty. The old politicians didnt have much in monetary terms but their positive impact on peoples lives will live forever. We pray for better days and leaders with vision and the will and strength to achieve results.

@ Alj Harem
Your posts have been quite insightful and objective. Dont mind the unexposed hearsay advocates who base all their analysis on old stereotypes and local gossips.

Has she ever expressed a view on marriage? Its good to know if she has chosen les.bianism as a permanent feature in her life or shes just "enjoying" her youth as some young people say. She needs to determine what she expects for herself some ten years down the line. Does she want to live with the lady friend as a couple or get married and have her on the side? Can she consider giving it up and getting married normally? Does she like children and desire her own kids?

Anyway keep in touch with her, show her that you truly love her and if possible, convince her to pray along with you for Gods divine intervention. You appear to be a patient and nice guy. Best wishes.

Very funny.

That bit on Next, loud phone conversations and entering anywhere with so much confidence are quite true.  Naija people are a special breed jare.

Shoprite which is also a foreign franchise patronises local suppliers a lot. Local fresh fruits, vegetables, fish, chicken, snails, ponmo etc are available there with an inhouse bakery where people queue for freshly baked bread. I wish Game would do the same but they seem to concentrate more on imported products.

I quit a job when i realised that i hardly had time to relate with my kids during the week. They were always in bed by the time i got home at night and i would be busy preparing their lunch pack in the morning while their dad or someone else prepares them for school.

I had no regrets going for a lower paying job which afforded me the joy of being a part of my children s lives when it mattered most - when they are young. A child that grows up with love, care and attention is easier to discipline and has greater sense of family values. They have the opportunity of asking you questions that bother their mind instead of the househelp or other people who may mislead them. A child s character is formed early in life so its good to be around to instill your dos and donts while correcting negative peer influence which you will observe only if you spend time with them. There must also be time for school open days to assess your child in the public domain. Having a caring dad at home earlier if his job permits is another option.

Seems to me that we have more hardened and self centered youth now including the ra.pists, hi tech robbers etc because parents are too busy looking for money and "better levels".

BTW God provided resources in marvelous ways to cover up my loss of income/reduced income. Looking back, i am still happy i had the courage to leave albeit with my husbands support.

Queens School Ibadan 1952

Not one of the first ten but a great school no doubt.

@Poster

Part of what Richvkunt posted may be extreme and unrealistic given your circumstances but the general idea of focusing on your duty as a wife is important. Combine it with finding a way to make him live up to his role as a husband so he will have less time for external affairs. Focus on more positive things for the few hours you spend together instead of finding faults. Truly i have seen someone in your shoes who is now the apple of hubbys eyes after taking to counselling and dumping her hardline stance.

If you are sure hes having an affair, initiate a discussion on STDs  when hes in a good mood to protect yourself and assess how far gone he is.

BTW you are yet to explain why he has so much idle time and you are overburdened. Any man who feels useless at home can be a nuisance. Its an ego thing, dont make yourself unnecessarily miserable. except there's more that you are not telling us

@nnw niger


Lets all join hands to stop this fast growing crime. It doesn't matter which tribe, the bottom line is that many women are suffering and everyone is at risk. Besides, every man who considers himself safe should remember that Sodo.mites abound.

Still wondering how the young girl so violently abused will recover from this trauma and feel at ease in the presence of any man. May God help her.

We know its everywhere, point is that violators are not being caught and arrested in the East not to mention the embarrassing denial and rationalisation going on in Abia.  In the SW and the North, people are arrested on a regular basis and nobody will come out to deny it or defend the criminals. The SW Oba who violated a corper is on trial for instance. Most of the easterners caught operated out of base like these ones who were arrested in Lagos.

Violation is bad irrespective of the people involved and we need to fight it objectively.

Spend so much time encroaching on his privacy and get a lot of heartache that will make you angry, react badly and drive him further into the arms of "sexy lady" et al. All he will see in you is a nagging pest while the "caretakers" massage his ego and dig deeper into his heart.

Richvkunt and Horny4u have given reasonable advice which i know works from experience. WORK ON IT.

Truth is that violation happens EVERYWHERE in this country. The only problem is that the issue is not being properly addressed in the East because the Governors and the people want to pretend that all is well when it is obvious that things are falling apart.

It seems most of the arrests relating to violation are made in the SW and the North because the people feel more concerned. Easterners (mostly women) are beginning to stand up and fight to press for investigation and arrests. I wish them the best and hope their men will remember that they have mothers, wives, sisters and daughters who can be subjected to the same treatment. The desecration of 70yrs old women takes the cake! Haba, how e come reach this level na? Una want heavy curses on your land? God forbid bad tin o, make una pray hard.

Its a matter of available choices and taste but its good to have a plan for ones own property over time if you don't want to be a tenant in old age. A bit of planning especially in terms of a suitable location and commitment by saving towards the project/taking a social mortgage loan when one is still young and with less financial burden is a nice way of acquiring property. You can let it out and use the income to subsidize your rent in a better location while the property appreciates in value.

I know someone who rented out his property in one of those towns off Badagry road but rented an apartment in Surulere till  the property increased in value and he was able to sell it and buy a house in a beautiful estate in Ikeja. Of course his initial investment paid off and hes living comfortably now. Better to hold on to something early enough than wait endlessly to accomplish some "moving target" dreams.

Anyways, our cultures respect people who have houses to show after a lot hard work more.

You are blessed and will surely remain so. May God continue to strengthen you and grant you total healing.

Sing:
"He is able, more than able to accomplish what concerns me today,
He is able, more than able to handle anything that comes my way.
He is able, more than able, to do much more than i can ever dream,
He is able,more than able to make me what he wants me to be,

Stay happy dear, your life's purpose will be fulfilled in Jesus name.

I agree with the Senators. Why should we be made to pay for losses that we know nothing about? Any attempt to remove the "subsidy" will be an open invitation for poverty and frustration of majority of struggling Nigerians. Most businesses are run on generators while road transportation is still the most prominent mode of moving man and goods in Naija.

Lets hope NLC and TUC will come together and let the govt know how bad the situation is for most people. It seems our politicians are very comfortable and therefore blind to what is happening around them.

If you love and treat your MIL lie your mum and you have an objective man for a husband, you wont have problems.

Never had any issues with my MIL. Its been a pleasure knowing her really and ditto for my FIL. I simply made up my mind to love and cherish them since i pray to experience the same from my future daughters in law.

Even Alhaji Mutallab hasnt disowned his panty bomber son though he made his displeasure clear. This pastor with many names and titles is something else jare!

Great news! More grease to your elbows jare. We are proud of you.

Try and dissuade them from abortion though my fear is that they may look for a cheaper option which is dangerous. Many girls end up with lifetime complications or lose their wombs/lives to mistakes made by quack doctors. Sadly someone i knew closely and who was in a higher institution lost her life due to such carelessness years ago. The boyfriend confessed to her parents when she died and students wanted to go on rampage cos they thought her death was due to the school clinics carelessness. Her father was so bitter that she didnt inform him or her mum even though she was home to celebrate her 21st birthday a week before the incident. Shes gone for good while the guy has moved on with his life.

Please talk to an older person known to you both or encourage him to talk to his parents.  He may be angry now but will be grateful when the matter is resolved.

I had a few classmates in the university who had similar problems and were able to have the babies and weather the storm. Some eventually married the same men while others left their kids with their parents and married other men later. I will rather encourage my child to face up to her mistakes and learn from it rather than risk her future and life. The worst scenario is the loss of an academic year. The child can be given up for adoption if neither parent is willing to accept him/her.

Whichever way, abortion is not the best option though it appears to be quite common these days just as infertility is on the increase.

Laughed so much with tears coming out of my eyes!
So many clowns on NL.