₦airaland Forum

@poster

I feel your pains. Sadly from your last post i see a woman who is no longer happy or in love with you. While i dont believe that a third marriage will definitely solve your problem, i also dont see you being happy living under your present circumstances.

Why dont you try convincing her again on the surrogate motherhood stuff? CS on four occasions is the reasonable maximum to ensure a womans safety so why waste funds on IVF?.

Did you both agree on the doctor to use or she chose one on her own?

Are you sure the new lady can look after your son as her own? Is she strong enough to withstand the storm? How do you know for sure that she will bear your kids?

Are you sure your wife doesnt know about your new catch? She may be reacting to that without telling you.

I know men who didnt have  loving and peaceful homes until the third/fourth attempt. Life is like that when the ladies you deal with are far more matured or experienced than you. They know the end from the beginning and plan accordingly while you are blissfully in love. Your girlfriend may or not be the solution to your problem. Now a child is uppermost in your mind but other problems may crop up after so you have to be sure that you will be able to cope .

Somehow i see this woman being more focused on tying all loose ends knowing that she may have to walk away soon. Or how do we explain the movement of funds to her brother (which you are unlikely to get back), acquiring assets without your knowledge and the recent lack of interest in you?

Avoid taking a hasty decision cos you may regret it. If possible, take a short holiday or an assignment out of base and give yourself time alone to pray and meditate over all these. Taking your girlfriend along will only becloud your views. Talk to a neutral and elderly doctor who can advise you both before you take a final decision.

Best wishes.

I dont know about Dansol but my advice is that you get to know the Principal, VPs, Class teacher, subject teachers and house master very well.

Never miss the visiting and open days and keep in touch with any of the above staff on phone on a regular basis. If you cant visit, your husband or trusted older relative should go. Dont try to fight the staff when they discipline your child, it only emboldens the child while the staff ignore him to his peril. Abi wetin concern agbero with overload?

When a child knows that he is well monitored, they tend to behave well. Also give him words of inspiration to encourage him and show that you believe in him.

I wish you the very best.

If shes based in Lagos, try Lagos State Office of the Public Defender. They are quite good in handling such matters for the underprivileged. Check out their website.

@prince4lif

Sorry o. It will be resolved by Gods grace.

If shes a Lagos state resident, try the Lagos State Office of the Public Defender. Check out their website.

Also womens right groups and FIDA Nigeria (women lawyers).

Its so sad that most of our friends from the south east don't see why its necessary to avoid denial while making effort to investigate, arrest and prosecute the perpetrators. That presents Igboland as a land of injustice which doesn't sound true.It puts more people at risk and makes me wonder what to expect from an Igbo president in 2015 though i have always advocated for that. Real pity!

@mobysync
I also lost a cousins daughter in Model College Kankon several years ago. She was said to have cerebral malaria at the hospital she was rushed to when she was brought home cos she could no longer talk. We were told that she took ill and was left alone in the hostel uncared for. God knows the details anyway.

@all
Point is that people should move with the times.

I attended good public boarding schools including FGC. When we tried to send my first child there becos of sentiment i think, the trauma was so much that we had to change his school after the first year. Next thing was to search for good private boarding schools with dedicated and disciplined staff though they are far more expensive. I have no regrets cos they learn a lot about life in school and are growing up to be quite independent and responsible. Parents should remember that having a child in boarding school is no reason to abdicate your responsibility of looking after your child and monitoring his progress through the teachers and school authorities.

Days when you could buy snacks and other small items from an absent petty trader. All you had to do was to leave the correct amount (coins) in the tray and take your change if any!

@poster
If the girl is truly a muslim from ILORIN, your friend should dump the idea pretty fast. Unfortunately its a very risky thing to do in that area.

The truth is that the trains are now working but they they dont look new or modern to me. I have seen the overloaded snail-pace moving train around Ikeja and Yaba a few times when i had to go that way early in the morning. Someone who works at NRC also confirmed that the train goes to Ibadan (don't know how many hours sha).

I saw it being used as intercity transport in Kaduna some 2 years ago and was told there's Offa-Ilorin shuttle, Kano Intra city service etc. The Abuja line is being constructed if the place that I was shown not too far from Eagle square is anything to go by.

I am being encouraged to take a ride using the first class cabin which is said to be comfortable. Problem is that I cant risk spending too many hours going to Ibadan even though the express road is a constant nightmare too.

Meanwhile GEJ should bring more coaches (hopefully more modern this time) so people will stop hanging on the doors or sitting on the roof (as i saw in Ikeja) thereby risking their lives.

No big deal. My kids always know our financial status and how to survive under any condition. Its made them to be more considerate and more mature in reasoning. No child is too young to be informed albeit in different ways depending on the age. Its good for everyone.

@Gylae

Dont swear on what you have little control over. Many who end up in inter tribal marriages never planned for it. Love has no boundaries.

@poster

Do unto others as you would want them to do to you.

@poster
A lot of sensible advice here but the most important thing is to focus on your pregnancy and mental health meanwhile.  Your state of mind may have an impact on the child and how you cope during and after delivery. Try not to deny him of sex cos you"l only drive him further into the BB babes arms and make yourself more miserable. Its important to make your man always feel like coming home to you. Use condoms and let him know that you are scared of HIV and STDs.

Been thru a similar experience before but got over it by applying wisdom in dealing with the issue and praying so hard. Some men are unrepentant cheats while others just temporarily fall into temptation. Some just dont know how to cope when your attention is divided between them and the kids coupled with your current status.

Your hubby appears to respect you tho he has roving eyes which will always deplete his resources to your disadvantage if you dont act fast. This to me is not an issue for divorce. Hes apologetic and clearly wants to keep his marriage while he roves free.  Its time for you to wise up but its safer after your delivery.

If you have been supporting him financially, learn to hold back in a very nice way without hurting his feelings. There is less philandering when there are more problems to focus on and less disposable income. Put your savings to good use to secure your future which he will surely benefit from if he stays e.g. lookout for good capital intensive investments like landed property for the family which will force him to commit more funds at home. He will appreciate you for it in due course and you would have succeeded in improving your lot. Also insist politely that he takes care of his kids. Its his basic responsibility anyway tho you should assist if you want the best for them.Wakawaka babes dont have time for stories of projects they wont derive any benefit from so they are bound to move on or he gets tired of the stress of trying to satisfy too many people.

God will surely grant you safe delivery and help you get over this problem.

I believe that a woman should be independent to earn the respect of her husband/BF and subsequently her kids. Who respects a woman who waits for daddy to come before any minor thing can be purchased? A woman cant gist or debate on issues reasonably when money is always the focus. All this talk of women demanding for BB, Brazilian hair and other stuff irritates me. If you want to look good and live well, work for your money and be prepared to share some responsibilities otherwise you will both live as tenants tire.

@poster
IMO I agree that the girl should have arrived on schedule. Requesting for refund of the ticket doesn't make sense to me either. I know some will call me old school but i cant stand any man treating me like trash cos of money. In any case i derive a lot of pleasure from sharing my little resources with those around me. Anyway search for more decent and well brought up girls. We still have them around but they may not be flashy and readily available.

Anyone buying land from the Gwaris without visiting FCDA is looking for trouble.

I know that parts of Durumi are horrible slums that will create problems for urban planning now and in the future. This is just a continuation of what El rufai did in nearby  Apo which is better off today.

I feel sorry for the people affected though they saw it coming. Life aint easy for the poor within the city but there are many options on the outskirts so why dare the authorities.

@BetaThings

True talk. New lessons learnt for my kids benefit at least. Its a strange world these days.

@Beta Things
Thanks o! Was beginning to wonder why its so difficult for some men to understand that its a clear case of violation. Such men should simply substitute their sister/daughters faces in place of that girls own and enjoy the video.  

Whatever led to it, the point is that she objected to being treated like trash. How is one small girl expected to fight off five he goats? I guess she felt that its safer for her to cooperate and stay alive.  The tape only shows what they want us to see. Do we know what went on prior to that?

As for those who say some women consent to such, it is true  but why didn't they look for such? In any case, a CSW who agreed with three men in FCT ended up being badly bruised when she got tired and jumped out to escape. It was still viewed as rape cos she told them she couldn't continue and the men were arrested.  

I just pray that the women groups (especially FIDA) trying to rescue the lady succeeds. I pray she fully recovers and is uplifted from poverty (read somewhere that shes a food seller but cant be so sure since no one has confirmed seeing her} God save us from animals in human form!

North, East, West or South, it seems many men don't see anything wrong with rape until it affects them personally. Its their right to molest and blame the victim for her beauty, dressing or just for being there at the wrong time! Why all the "I"m a man" chest beating by some of our men when they have no self control?

I hope the poor girl is just posted back to her state so she can have the support of her family to get over the trauma. This Now Your Suffering Continues sef don tire me!

Please see update on the front page posted as Murderous wife claims her husband was occultic.

According to Sahara Reporters, the lady and her mum are in hiding. They are now denying that it ever happened just to save their lives.

The state govt is said to be threatening those who want to speak the truth!

Its a real jungle out there! Cant imagine this happening around here without any effort to nail the i.d.iots. Can decent Abians stand up for the truth please?

Tales by moonlight!

Havent we all heard of baby factories?

Funny thread but their effort to learn is worthy of praise. Many don't bother. Some are even here pretending to be oyinbo.

Titi is one of the Americans learning in Unibadan. Seems they are on a years sabbatical (or whatever) from their universities abroad. They all acquired yoruba names. She was shown chatting with people on the road a while ago. Very funny and friendly girl!

But sometimes i think foreign govts encourage their people to learn other languages cos it may be useful for security and investigation purposes.

This appears like premeditated murder. Too many unanswered questions plus the fact that there was an attempt on his life three weeks before the murder.

Why did she tell different stories to people including the home video edition? (just sounds like a recap of all those juju films to me)

How can someone whose husband just died remain so calm and be more interested in his property to the extent of lying to the accountant to collect money?

Where are the red cloth, tortoise and other things she talked about?

Why would her son lie against her?

People should be more careful about their choice of partners. We are seeing too many horrible cases of "love" gone wrong these days. May God help us.

@CalienteMi

I agree with you. Many are mistaking lust and the ability to provide material things for love. When reality sets in, the situation becomes unbearable then they want to opt out at all costs.

@maximip
According to those who watched the 1 hour version of the video ( i didn't have the nerve to watch any), she resisted initially and was slapped and pushed into submission.

Wetin concern Mr Chima in this matter? You just want to annoy Mrs Chima.

Thank God o but how can he conclude that conviction will be difficult with all the distinguished lawyers that we have in this land? Anyway we will fire serious prayers to assist the human rights activists in their bid to convict them against the Ministers narrow view. God will surely make a way where there seems to be no way.

The article is in This Day of today, 22nd Sept.

Why are people becoming so violent? Divorce is an option or am i missing something?

Ademoye: Killer-wife Sick, on Hunger Strike
By Chiemelie Ezeobi

Perhaps ravaged by the trauma of facing a murder charge, Mrs Ngozi Ademoye, who last Tuesday confessed to having killed her husband, Kazeem, 45, with a heavy electronic item - Uninterrupted Power Supply (UPS) unit - has declared hunger strike, which is likely to have precipitated a rise in her blood pressure.

She is currently on admission at the sick bay of the Lagos State Criminal Investigation Department (SCID), Panti, Yaba.

It was not clear Wednesday when she would be charged to court for the crime. Sources close to the police investigation effort indicate that more clues and links are being searched out in connection with the crime.

All attempts to speak with the suspect met with stiff resistance as she was said to be on drip.

Kazeem Ademoye was killed, admittedly by his wife, Ngozi, in the wee hours of Friday, September 16, but she did not inform anybody of the incident until over 24 hours later, having locked up the husband’s corpse in their bedroom all day, whilst she went about transacting other businesses outside the home.

The late Kazeem was the Chairman of Kavex Computers and Communications Limited.

After days of denial, the deceased’s wife, Ngozi, also known as Funmi by the in-laws, confessed to the crime, allegedly by mistake, on one breath, and out of anger, having been injured by her husband in a scuffle, on another breath.

Family sources however said Wednesday that the late Kazeem had had a close shave with death three weeks ago and knew somebody was after his life, but that he never knew it would ever be his better half.

This information was made available to THISDAY Wednesday by the deceased's family at the office of the SCID, Panti, Yaba.

According to them, the deceased had called Jameel, his younger brother, and one of his friends to tell them of the near death encounter he had at the old Toll Gate along the Oworonsoki Expressway.

The family said Kazeem had told them that an attempt was made on his life that day but he managed to escape only for him to die in a gruesome manner in his own house three weeks later.

Confirming the story, the spokesman for the family, Mr. Adesegun Agbaye, said the family would get to the bottom of the story and then justice would run its full course. He further promised to keep the world informed as the case progresses.

THISDAY also gathered that the suspect has made plans to get a renowned lawyer that would get her off the hook. This move however has been dismissed by the deceased’s family who believes that justice could not be thwarted.

Despite being in custody, the suspect is said to have caused another ripple in the family with the instruction that her children be taken away from the house without consulting the in-laws.

A member of the family told THISDAY in confidence that on Tuesday night while they were in Panti, the woman made a secret arrangement that culminated in the movement of the kids out of their Magodo residence.

The in-laws had been hinted of the movement of the children and some valuable items (by somebody suspected to be Ngozi’s brother) from the family house by neighbours on the street.

The late Kazeem was married to the suspect for 13 years and their marriage was blessed with three kids - an adopted boy and two girls.

While the first son, 15-year-old Tunde, was said to have been the suspect’s son from another relationship prior to her marriage to Kazeem, the deceased had adopted him as his son, giving him the privilege to bear his name.

The newspaper gathered that the two biological daughters the deceased had are between the ages of eight and 11 years. The suspect hails from Asaba in Delta State while the deceased is from Ikorodu in Lagos State.

Tags: Featured, Killer, News, Ngozi Ademoye, Nigeria

Sooooo funny yet so sad! Cant stop laughing as i remembered Fela was once advised to try that type of charm but according to his daughter, he was advised to use a goat first which promptly died on being shot!

OPC step up o.

RIP baba kazeem.

@pinkrex
Even if it appears to you like a hoax, try and be more sensitive to peoples feelings. People have confirmed that its a regular occurrence in Abia but people are afraid to talk. That alone is distressing for me.

The animals will be caught by Gods grace. I am glad that people are committed to finding the violators while those of us who have no info will gladly fast and pray along.

Why are the governor and Abia authorities so focused on denial instead of investigating? Nothing spoil abi, because na poor man daughter? Lets all keep remembering we all have mothers, sisters, wives/girlfriends and daughters and God has a way of paying back in amazing ways,