₦airaland Forum

Why should I deny been seeing in a brother? What crime is that? OP, you are above 18 and with your money you are denying yourself for what? Who my coursemate epp?

The last time I hug my Dad was 9TH April,2005. That's about seventeen years ago, then I was so young and naive. That was the last time I saw that dude alive. He came back dead after he promised to get me something on his way back from Abuja, but accident didn't even allow him pass Makurdi.

Rest in peace Dad, sometimes, I feel you betrayed me and other times I feel it's not your fault. I have been devastated since you left. How I wish you are alive to celebrate my graduation.

Let me stop before I become too emotional.

None of the above.

You see this breakfast? It's not funny, it can turn a mechanic into a philosopher.

OP, don't worry, breakfast na national cake, breakfast reach your turn you turn yourself to writer writing gibberish.

VictorUSA:
Demigod22 Thank you for that wonderful response.

I'd like to connect with you offline.It's important to me.I'd like to quote/mention you at any time if I have some questions.

Thanks alot.

You are welcome bro, and thanks for finding my worthy to be part of the thread and thanks for giving me platform to voice out my opinion. I appreciate. I am Demigod Francis on Facebook.

LoL, give the bike man the phone let me talk with him. Boys don do that thing tire for school that year.

VictorUSA:
Demigod22 Thank you for your for that selfless and wonderful contribution.

Finally, what advice will you give people like us that are still coming up as virgins?

Those who are coming up as virgin should prioritize sexual purity. Life is beyond sexual gratification especially when they are not married.

Sex have the ability to destroy one's life. From teenage pregnancy, unwanted pregnancy, STDs. Sex have spiritual implications, when you come in contact with some people sexually, you can be destroyed.

Just be focus on achieving your goals. If you are into relationship, do it with someone that share the same ideas, belief with you.

You are having wet dream. It usually happens to mature man who is not having sex regularly. Biologically, nothing is wrong with you, just go visit Cynthia, she is the only doctor that can cure you now.

I don't know if it's lack of common Sense or lack of ability to understand how life works that makes some people talk anyhow.

Who made the benchmark? We have different life, different destiny, coming from different family, different economic background, different names. What makes you think all people at 25 should have certain things when we are facing different challenges, taking different responsibilities?

And the clown OP is even using the word"must" as if life is by our strength. Stop pressurizing yourself. Your current position is someone's prayer point and how far you have gone, someone is still ahead of you.

I totally understand what you are going through bro. I have been there before. It's bad for one to find himself in such situation.

I just pray you work something out soon.

VictorUSA:
Demigod22 thanks for that wonderful contribution.I strongly believe anyone who comes to this thread must learn alot from your wonderful contributions.I believe you are highly educated.

Q: do you hold the perception that virging guys must marry a virgin lady? Do you crave to marry a virgin?

Personally, I don't crave to marry a virgin and I don't believe in the virgin marrying a virgin. Marriage is beyond virginity, when I want to marry, I want a girl that is highly intelligent because I am sapiosexual. A productive lady, with sense of humor, a discipline lady, selfless and humane.

People make mistakes and I can't judge people by their past because they are the only ones that understand the circumstances that led to that mistake. We have people who are virgin through vagina, but have anal sex, MouthAction and all that. Character should be put into consideration above a piece of hymen.

I will choose someone who is not a virgin but will guarantee me my peace of mind over a virgin that will be boring and a threat to my mental health.

VictorUSA:
Thank you so much for that wonderful contribution.I hope you wouldn't feel pissed off by my question.

Some people are in a no sex relationship but do smooch, kiss, amorously cuddle each other.What have you to say about that? Do you also do thesame?

Demigod22

I have kissed before and I have cuddle before but I have never smooch. Although, the relationship was not a no sex relationship. Both the girl and I was in the relationship and we never discussed about sex. I believe if it should happen it should naturally and I believe she has the same thought too.

But then she was a virgin and I was not ready to do anything funny with her. I admire sexual purity and encourage abstinence. We kissed a night before she travelled like a sort of goodbye treat.

We are humans and we have feelings, sometimes, our emotions can blurr our sense of reasoning. Things like kissing, cuddling and smooching, especially when done in a private setting can trigger reaction. If you can not control the urge or if you think you are vulnerable and you are determine to be sexually pure, you shouldn't engage in such act because it can easily prompt sexual activities between the two lovers.

As adults, if the two parties can handle the situation then they can do it. But like my mother would say, you don't bring the meat you doesn't want to eat close to your mouth.

VictorUSA:
Demigod22 I admire your intelligence.

Some people do watch porn or masturbate to satisfy their sexual urge.Do you speak for or against? And dnt be offended, do you also watch porn or masturbate?

Personally, I don't watch porn neither do I masturbate. I am a lover of movie, I read Theatre Arts in school so I watched movies a lot. Throughout my years, I have never watched porn nor have porn in my phone before, I find it uninteresting to watch others have sex. It makes me a Viewer and I don't like it.

About the masturbating, I don't see the need to. Although, it has health implications too especially when addicted to it.

I can't impose my opinion on others since we are all adults and have right to do certain things. Practically, some sex experts will advise couple to watch porn to spice up their sex life and all that. Personally, since I am not married yet and I am not having sex, I don't see any need to watch porn, encourage porn or support watching porn. So I don't watch porn and I don't encourage singles to watch porn since it will trigger them to go and have illegal sex which is morally wrong.

Masturbating is a no for me too. When the urge comes, with time it will go too. It's disgusting for me to be touching myself for sensation. I don't encourage that either.

VictorUSA:
Demigod22 I so much appreciate your wonderful contribution.It means you are a nice guys.

Have you ever been in a no sex relationship? if yes, what are the few takeawys you have for u?

I have been in a no sex relationship before and to be honest and blunt with you, most partners cheat, not all but most of them.

Although, I was very young and she was caring and all that. She calls, send photos and do all that. But at some point, I think she found the relationship boring for lack of sex and since she was the one that brought the no sex policy, she doesn't know how to undo it and I believe she attempted few times to seduce me but it wasn't working. And she ended up cheating.

Apart from my experience, I have had people shared their experience both boys and girls, and most of them complained about the infidelity of their partner. Some people can tell their partner about the no sex just to look decent and command respect from the partner and they ended up cheating with their so called bestie.

For a no sex relationship to work, the agreement must be genuinely accepted by the both parties involved. They should be morally conscious and religiously upright, when you know the effect of fornication or the circumstances that form during sexual intercourse, it will be easier to keep a no sex relationship. It takes the two partners to make it work.

There are lots of other fun things to do in a relationship apart from sex, which I mentioned earlier. If not properly handle, a no sex relationship would end up being like a distance relationship, which is abysmally fraudulent, deceitful and worthless.

That year, na my depression overcome me o. Las las we go dey alright.

Nyascobar1414:
Students in theatre arts are always handsome and beautiful...

Is that really a criteria?

LoL, while in school, students from other departments usually say we have the finest students, that our girls are beautiful and have buttocks and our guys are good looking and funny. I don't know why they said that, but those girls in my department are something else when it comes to beauty, I don't even know which one to date.

Ebubu:
Your last paragraph says it all

Men need to be enlightened more that nothing is too expensive to let go to have their peace of mind.

If you tolerate it and one day hit her, wahala for you. If you don’t hit her, low self esteem fit take over you.

Very true. It's not a do or die affair. If it's not working, then leave. My father always tell us to know when to say and let go and move on.

VictorUSA:
Ladies and gentlemdn, pls welcome another wonderful guest in this thread.He have alot for us so we can learn.He is Demigod22.

I learned that you don't date, can you tell us what is the motivating factor?

shalom

At this stage of my life, when I want to date or have a romantic relationship, there are few questions I need to genuinely and honestly answer myself.

1) What is the purpose of this relationship?

2) Am I in a good state of mind for this relationship? That's emotionally, psychologically, mentally and physically.

3) What do I want to achieve with this relationship?

4) Is my partner ready for the kind of relationship I want?

5) Can I sustain this relationship?

When I answer these questions honestly, it gives me reasons to be in a relationship or not. I am perceive to be highly educated and exposed in my environment and among my peers, so I am always conscious of the fact that I have people looking up to me. My actions or inactions can mislead some people which I don't want.

I don't date because I feel like I am at a very vital point of my life that needs absolute focus and concentration. Any little mistake because of momentary pleasure can mar my life. I am thinking and building, and I have to do that to a certain level before I can look out for a lover.

My professor once told me during my project supervision that he is married for over thirty-one years now, and sex will tire me. I should concentrate on myself because I have responsibility towards the society, my family, friends and enemies, that's if I have any.

Most of the relationship we have these days is transactional. While the girls ( most of them) are hungry and looking for someone to foot their bills, the boys are looking for who will satisfy them sexually. Take sex and money out of most relationship and there would be no relationship.

Relationship should be healthy, your partner should be concerned about your growth, as students, it could be your growth academically. As adults, it could be financially, religiously, morally, socially and emotionally. You guys can attend cooking classes together, go to sport centre together, go for picnic, movie, do the house chores, read books together, attend dance class together, invite you to seminar, introduce you to new ideas, bring you close to new opportunities.

The sexual urge will come, the society will tempt you but you have to be focus and determine. I have lot of girls but most of them don't fit into my goals. When you start relationship, all they offer is sex, religiously, which is fornication and it's morally wrong too.

VictorUSA:
You don't date, so we need you in a thread to share your experience to teach the younger NLs.

Okay, I am in. Just mention me in the thread.

There was this girl that came to my department as direct entry student and her elder brother, my senior, a year ahead of me then, told her to meet me for anything academically. Although, she was forming for everyone and we even had a clash earlier.

She apologized and we became friends, she started by wanting to visit me, I allowed her and she started visiting regularly and even started sleeping over. All these was just a strategy for us to do something.

All her efforts from 200 level to 400 level for us to have sex was fruitless because I stood my ground. Even a day to our last paper she visited me and spent seven hours in my room but nothing happened. She is currently contesting for House of Assembly seat in her state now.

I still have other girls I have turned down. Although, not because I was a saint or they are not beautiful. I think it's because I have many options back in school because as Theatre Arts student, we were the school celebrity.

I love this drama. OP, you deserve a Grammy for a job well done. I won't or can't tolerate any girl forming nonsense, a girl that will still be begging for urgent 2k.

I can't tolerate a woman who doesn't have control over her mouth. I will divorce any woman or wife that threatens my mental health. I can't even manage such wife. Life is stressful already, I don't need someone's daughter to add another burden to my life.

Anything that cost you your peace of mind is too expensive.

LoL, by all means secure the bag.

Congratulations bro, you can leave this country for good, especially leaving Nigerian girls behind.

You obviously created this thread for us to bash women for sexual promiscuity, but you think you that decide to sleep with her is innocent. We keep on blaming the girls as if they are sleeping with themselves.

Among all the girls in your area, you cannot afford anyone but your married ex? Don't go back to your vomit.

I am not even dating talk more of double dating.

We believe that only ladies in brothel are prostitute. But we are having sex with different people and still we are calling others prostitute.

As far as I am concerned, we are all prostituting until we are married.

Back in school, I have this friend that broke up with his girlfriend and two weeks later the girl called my friend to inform him about het wedding. We were all shocked, but anyways, relationship doesn't mean much to most people anymore.

A week to her wedding, she notify my friend that she was coming to spend the weekend with him in school for them to have sex. According to her; I will be coming this weekend for you to roughhandle me. And friend quickly added that his friend ( me) is around and would want to do. She said since I am a good boy she would allow me to do. She said we can have party.

When my friend ended the call he asked for my opinion, I told him not to go back to his vomit, nothing special about that kpekus. We have plenty girls in school here. And the guy called her back and told her to delete his number and never to reach out to him again. Since then, I am scared of girls.

OP, for violation of privacy, take down the pictures, his phone number and Facebook name.

Back to the issue, psychologically, people have different sexual orientation, which homosexuality is one of, we have guys that are preying on their fellow guys, even rape guys. It's very bad, but I can't help it. And most of them always have money to lure naive, unsuspecting victims.

Whenever I go out, I meet beautiful ladies and I am marvelled how God was able to create beautiful things, then I wonder how on Earth I will be homo when these beautiful girls are everywhere.

We have to be ourselves when we find ourselves in a relationship. If you pretend to be good, for how long can you put up the act of being good?

I remember back in University, I was young though, I stopped drinking alcohol because of Cynthia, do a lot of crazy stuff just to impress her. That was when I realized that I shouldn't date or be friend with someone who can't accept my personality.

Most relationship is built on faulty foundation. The girl is hungry, she needs money and the guy is Hot, he needs sex. It's transaction, so that as far as they are both getting their satisfaction, nobody is bordered about the healthy growth of such relationship.

Fiscus105:
God says for this reason man should leave his father and mother and marry is wife and cleft together to become one flesh.

Before bible says that it has very strong reason, .......... follow marriage principles you said no, at the end u start blaming marriage institution and say marriage na scam

So all the paternity fraud and infidelity is because the couple didn't follow marriage principle? You are not serious. It's a matter of choice. Maybe you can not do it, you have your reason. Those who can do it, it's working for them too.

Dybala11:
Omo, a lot of women we have out there engage in emotional abuse and blackmail o. My mom, as sweet as she is, was guilty of this years ago. I had to stamp my feet and warn her against doing such when I became older. Another way I stopped her is through an attitude I cultivated as a defense mechanism to counter her barrage of words and insults years ago. I always keep quiet whenever she's screaming and will go and meet her to tell me where I'm wrong after she's tired of shouting. Before then, I always find a way to run away and seek refuge somewhere else.

Yes, and I am proud you were able to put her in check. Verbal abuse have the ability to make one run mad.