₦airaland Forum

Dailyparrot:
I have to create this thread after reading through the topic on front page asking for jobs/professions that will make you not to marry someone.

So, I'm talking to this Unizik student that's studying medical radiography. Everything was going well. She even told me that she has told her mother about me and all. We met on Facebook and she's already asking to see me in person.

Until the day she found out that I use my car for Uber/Bolt business, everything changed. This girl stopped talking to me.

She has never been to Lagos and does not know how Uber works. She was asking how much I earn in a day, and that hope the Uber is not like their normal school cab that charge 100 naira per person, bla bla bla.

Well, I just don't want to let her know my net worth. I don't do Uber full time. I work on Fiverr and because sales dropped there, I decided to use Uber to make up for the income. I also do academic research for foreign students. Etc. I am into a lot of stuffs that fetch me nothing less than 400k a month so I don't think I should be regarded poor.

My house in the East is at roofing level. I am almost completing the payment of 4.5 million for a land I'm purchasing at Mowe, I own my car plus another Sienna I bought when Fiverr was booming.

I have a masters degree. So, should a girl reject me because I use my car to drive on Uber?

I am just laughing at her ignorance. The other time, we were talking and I jokingly asked her why she's putting on make up, and she was like, so she can find better suitors.

I thence assume I am not a better suitor because to her, I'm poor. This is someone earning 8k per month in the school that she was teaching during ASUU strike.

I wonder why women are impatient when it comes to taking decisions and that's why most of them regret later.

I am supposing being a medical student makes this girl think she deserves someone better than just a cab driver.

LOL.

officialwdhtv:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkrLHjhOARc

Nigerian man shares the things he saw after he relocated to the UK 😯

https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cn21Z6NhFU3/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

imagrg:
The way men cast aspersions on women whenever they make demands from them is selfish and unacceptable.

Ladies are like lilies, you need to tend and care for it to make it blossom.

Let her feel you care.

KanwuliaExtra:
Notice that our men die untimely because they have no peace in their homes? Nigerian women are not good. African-American women are 'demons'. . .Caucasian women get wrinkled too fast. . . .all kinds of excuses. Is there any kind of woman that can please them? Even the ''village virgins"? Make dem try find happiness and stop spreading acrimony in relationships abeg. Women can be psychotic too. YES. But it takes two!

A sorry bunch is an understatement. Especially in the medical field. If you earn more than your husband, na wahala o. If you husbands EARNS more than you as 'BREAD-WINNER" nko? . . . YOU DON DIE BE DAT! You go get 'co-wives' ke! Dem go pepper you ehn. . . .? Just sadistic and manipulative. The reason most of them get thrown out of the houses in the diaspora TO AVOID DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND UNGOING STRESS!!! They will want you to 'submit' your paycheck and use ' OSINACHI BIBLICAL JAZZ' to try to control you like most men do in Africa. I know many women who would rather suffer in silence than be divorced in the diaspora. So the men take advantage of the situation.

Flip side. If a Nigerian woman sits at home and does nothing to help. . .she will fall out of favor in her marriage. It forces her to STRUGGLE and pull her pants up!

I am not associating the 'sorry bunch' phenomenon to ALL Nigerian or African men. Truth be told, MOST our men are extremely 'spoiled' and catered to in the African context as 'kings'. When they leave the shores of Africa. . . they experience 'culture shock' and find it extremely difficult to adjust. The sense of entlement is unreal with misplaced priorities. The reason they quench. . . for lack of personal accomplishment.

The saddest part is that males and females born in the diaspora don't really have role models to look up to if the 'man' of the house has lost his way in the family by displaying the most unproductive work ethic. MANY NIGERIAN MEN KEEP DROPPING LIKE FLIES IN THE DIASPORA more than women. By 60. . . they claim 'disability' and stay at home.

No life insurance
No benefits
No investments

Only depression and mid-life crises.Then they rush home to start new families with new wives. . . then drop dead! Lack of material and spiritual content in OLD AGE IS A CURSE. No plan for retirement.

Ridiculous!

Wordsfrombimpe:
Naira not dollars

KanwuliaExtra:
Understood.
I have one family member whose wife has abandoned him because he is 'stressed' from working. He stays on the internet arguing on social media platforms till he was fired from his job for 'online tradiing and gambling'! Now, he has high blood pressure and has moved in with another family member. The wife and children have relocated farrrrrrrr away from him to avoid further conflicts. The only son has copied his father's habits and sleeps online too, instead of obeying house rules concerning social media addiction.

Father addict. . .
Son addict. . .

I don't know ANY FAMILY HERE IN THE DIASPORA WITH ONE FAMILY INCOME. Or the father as a sole bread winner. The men will NOT EVEN ALLOW IT. . . unless they are dealing with 'newly imported spouses' or spouses with academic or medical challenges.

I DO NOT KNOW ONENIGERIAN MAN AROUND ME THAT IS A BREAD-WINNER. You cannot make it as an individual or as a family with ONE INCOME. It is NOT POSSIBLE IN THE DIASPORA. . . .It is even the wives that are mostly the bread-winners. Most of our NIGERIAN MEN have lost the zeal to maintain meaningful employment and really give up easily because of their love for 'get rich or die tryng' fraudulent mentalities!

KanwuliaExtra:
Thanks for your input.

If men have to work like donkeys, something is inherently wrong with that relationship. Is the partner handicap?
I know a lot of men who are able to partner with their significant others for a healthy work-life balance.
The reason I do not subscribe to a one-income/one-bread-winner family. Most who adopt this kind of economic planning with one stay-at-home parent actually make men the ONLY BREAD-WINNER IN THE HOME.

Women will say they are 'home-makers' working at home without income.
What will happen to that ONE SOLE BREAD-WINNER if he or she is met with sudden unemployment or health challanges preventing continuation of employment?

How will the pressure not be too much on ONE PERSON(MAN OR WOMAN)?

If I were to be the sole breadwinner going to work knowing my WHOLE family depends on me to thrive. . . . I would be worried day and night!
When men claim to be breadwinners/heads of households and suggest their wives DO NOT WORK, what are they thinking?

We have to learn to work together to achieve a healthy work-life balance.
Men do not complain or nag. . . women do. Because women nag, they have outlets to vent out frustrations and can re-charge. Men bottle everything up and end up becoming less productive on the long run.

WHY SHOULD A MAN TAKE ON THE SOLE RESPONSIBILITY OF BEING A BREAD-WINNER IN HOME? That will only work on a short term basis.
If a man continues that on the long run, he risks dropping dead within 10 of retirement, if he ever gets to retire.

KanwuliaExtra:
Thanks for your input.

If men have to work like donkeys, something is inherently wrong with that relationship. Is the partner handicap?
I know a lot of men who are able to partner with their significant others for a healthy work-life balance.
The reason I do not subscribe to a one-income/one-bread-winner family. Most who adopt this kind of economic planning with one stay-at-home parent actually make men the ONLY BREAD-WINNER IN THE HOME.

Women will say they are 'home-makers' working at home without income.
What will happen to that ONE SOLE BREAD-WINNER if he or she is met with sudden unemployment or health challanges preventing continuation of employment?

How will the pressure not be too much on ONE PERSON(MAN OR WOMAN)?

If I were to be the sole breadwinner going to work knowing my WHOLE family depends on me to thrive. . . . I would be worried day and night!
When men claim to be breadwinners/heads of households and suggest their wives DO NOT WORK, what are they thinking?

We have to learn to work together to achieve a healthy work-life balance.
Men do not complain or nag. . . women do. Because women nag, they have outlets to vent out frustrations and can re-charge. Men bottle everything up and end up becoming less productive on the long run.

WHY SHOULD A MAN TAKE ON THE SOLE RESPONSIBILITY OF BEING A BREAD-WINNER IN HOME? That will only work on a short term basis.
If a man continues that on the long run, he risks dropping dead within 10 of retirement, if he ever gets to retire.

Seun:
Written by Shaka Phillip-Jonson

https://twitter.com/beejonson/status/1615880886414614528

EriMma1:
This may sound weird but it's my situation now.

I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy, comfortable and financially independent.

Some of the reasons I also made up my mind are.
As a single, Im very much at peace, with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed.
No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no one is questioning my eating habits as its sometimes the case with some married women. Also running errands when you don't feel up to it just because hubby wants you to do it. Some men can send their wife on errand like crazy and me I hate running errands.

No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give up all that scares the hell out of me.

Now, back to the matter.

Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home, i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...

I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.

Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday.

Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

KanwuliaExtra:
https://www.vanguardngr.com/2022/05/why-women-live-longer-than-men-2/

Jkoro29:
Hi nairalanders. This is the first time that I will be creating an account on Nairaland. I have been a guest for many years and I love this forum. I am not the type of person to share my issues with people, but this issue is very pressing and I don't seem to have found any answers from researching online. Please I would appreciate if one of the moderators sends this thread to the front page so I can get more responses.

I am 29 years old. I have a job, my own house and a car, and I am ready to settle down. I want to get married this year, unfailingly. The problem is that I only attract bad girls into my life. My definition of bad girls are those girls that club almost every night, girls that care so much about material things and about how they look, girls that wear skimpy outfits and show off their bodies at every chance. Girls that live on tiktok and instagram. These are the type of girls I attract.

What prompted me to create this account and post this is the experience I had today in church. There is the beautiful, quiet, modest looking usher that I have feelings for. I I have listened to her speak in our youth sunday school and she sound intelligent. She is also god-fearing and devoted in church. I admire these qualities in a wife. Today I walked up to her to introduce myself but the way she responded killed me on the inside. She didn't even smile. Just kept a straight face and didn't even care to respond to some of my questions. I felt defeated. I don't believe in forcing a friendship. I believe that when I approach a girl and she behaves like that, it is a sign that she doesn't like me at all and I would only be wasting time trying to get her to like me.

Meanwhile in the same church, there is one slay queen that has been giving me green light and always smiles when we lock eyes. I don't even know why girls like this come to church. There is another girl that twerks all the time on her whatsapp that is angry that I have been ignoring her. There are countless others i have slept with in the past that have all fit this profile. But not once have I had a relationship with a good girl. It is almost like a curse was placed on me. When ever i meet good girls, they always seem to not like me. Maybe I am bad at reading people, but the way they behave is the direct opposite of the way the bad girls behave when I meet them. The bad ones are always smiling, always attentive and always eager to know more about me.

I don't want to get married to a girl that doesn't have the fear of god, or a girl that smokes shisha and parties all night every weekday. I want to get married to a girl that has the qualities of the usher girl.

I am a good looking, responsible young man. I do not dress, look or act like a yahoo boy, in case you are wondering. I am well educated, I speak well and interact with people in a mature way.

trutharena:
Below is Mazi Simon Ekpa announcing he will be placing bounty on Ohaneze elders.

This is in response to the bounty Ohaneze initially placed on him.



Source: https://twitter.com/simon_ekpa/status/1617431340672057344?s=46&t=34iumxIBtt7e2M04QCKbHA[/quote]Ohanaze failed this one. You don't dance naked in the market with a madman.
"Those who would wear white and hold a madman down in the mud, should remember the colour their clothes previously was". Chinua Achebe

G00DHardDick:
Simps have nothing to offer other than,

SIMP: have you eaten?
Girl: (reads the chat & ignores him)

SIMP: why na
Girl:

SIMP: I hope you're going to church today
Girl: (replies with an emoji)

SIMP: Hi
Girl: Hi

SIMP: How was your day?
Girl: (ignores him again)

SIMP: did I something wrong? Why are you angry with me?
Girl: no

SIMP: I love you so much why don't you feel the same way?
Girl: k

SIMP: I can't live without you?
Girl: k

And other bunch of simpleton statement.

The alpha male hardly chats or doesn't even chat at all with a girl yet he's the most valued. His lifestyle drives her crazy that she desperately desire to be with him at any given opportunity. In conclusion, Dear Men, value your attention!!!! No man earn respect when he showers unnecessary attention to a girl.

Wordsfrombimpe:
Every young woman out there should learn from Halima Abubakar

Avoid sleeping around anyhow with men

Some men are very dangerous is not even about pastors be careful with man especially when you dont know much history with them.

She slept with a man for # a 2.5million and look at her today

I hope our women will learn to be satisfied with what they have

Copyright ©️ Digital Bimpe

FreeStuffsNG:
In our life time, a greater Lagos has become a reality. Next level is the greatest.

We are grateful to God, our parents, our forebears and past leaders who built the foundation we built a greater Lagos on today.

We thank you too for investing in Lagos!

https://m.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=548373247320733&id=100064441879510&set=a.217390247085703&eav=AfZpaiGN8QkqzgHdoAIQY9eJjPEvA4gBop7_QBoCai715WNZSeYUoj2Xku1_FLIp3qQ&paipv=0&source=48

adenigga:
Source: https://dailypost.ng/2023-Nigerians-will-regret-for-20-years-if-Tinubu-loses-Adamu-Garba

Wiseandtrue:
Poseidon That hellish character

So after causing the unprovoked tsunami, then what

I hope he can live in this world alone!

Misplaced priority

Him just dey fight himself mtcheeeeew
Modified:

Have they gone into war unprovoked in this modern time Rather, they take out world deadly terrorists

I will not blame them if they have it because of people like Putin

There are people with loose screws running around

Sheistoopretty:
Pastor? is dis what Christianity has been reduced to? I will stop going to church from henceforth


Well,



Nigerian men are us*less............all of them

Divoc19:
Nairaland men are looking for girls to feed and accommodate them. That's why they complain about girls being entitled. A real man naturally provides for his woman and brags about it not the other way

Kininifoods:
Only kids full here..

Or maybe I've just not met the strong men.. before you say jack, I'm a lecturer and also have other side hustles..

But make me feel like a woman please.. freaky my account first without anything attached.

Are there men like that??

Siofra? You get that kind man?

EcoBrick:
https://thenationonlineng.net/anambra-sextuplets-residents-carpet-obi-ekwunife-uba-others-for-abandoning-couple/

ijustdey:
https://leadership.ng/lithium-is-the-new-oil-govt-must-control-its-exploitation-malami/

Alesa3341:
Hello Guys, please I need a sincere and matured advise on what to do. This will be long, please bare with me.

I'm 27, am a businessman, I have this girl I really love so much and intend to marry her this year December, but one thing about her is her bad character. She challenge me, talk back at me, shout at me, get angry with me for days, refuse to cook when she is angry, disrespect my family, most especially my mum, always trying to paint herself good and paint me bad in presence of people, these are just little of the things she has done to me.

When she lost her job, and had nowhere to go, I had to bring her to my house, and provide everything for her, food, I change her hair twice a month, subscribe unlimited for her, I just provided everything a woman need to be happy for her. Last year November, she told me she haven't seen her mum for 5years and wanted to travel to see her, I spent close to 200k to take her to and fro, including other things she needed. She insisted on collecting the bride price list for me when coming back, I spoke to her mum and they gave her to give me. I was planning to finalize all on the weeding this year.

Last year DECEMBER, I took her to my family to introduce her, but this was the biggest mistake of my life. She was completely disrespectful to my mum, talks to me anyhow in presence of anyone, even to the extent of refusing to cook for me anytime she is angry, I go to kitchen and prepare food myself.

I love this girl so much but I still thought of continuing, with all this attitudes, I advise her everyday, I also took her to my pastor who advise her too most of the times, but she never changes.

Fast forward to 2days ago, we had issues because she told me to join her in washing and I refused because I was working on a client project, she got angry, washed the clothes and when it was evening she brought the clothes inside, folded her own in the wardrobe and just threw mine into the wardrobe without folding or arranging them. I was angry about this, but I kept mute. The next day, she sent me "sorry" on WhatsApp, I told her to come to me physically and apologize but she told me she can never do that, and why was she even apologizing, that she did nothing wrong, we exchanged words and she left my house.

Today, she called me and told me she is pregnant, and that I should send her money to remove it. I was like "just like that"? We didn't discuss about it, how will you just tell me you want to terminate my pregnancy, I told her to go to hospital and confirm it and also get the test report, she did this and sent to me, it was true she is pregnant, but she insisted on removing it, I persuaded her and she still refused, claiming she can't be a single mother. I told her I will take responsibility, but she insisted on removing it, I told her to go home and think about it, and she told me she can't leave there without removing it. After so much persuading I decided to give her the money, and told her if she removed it, that it's on her, that I didn't consent to this.

I asked her why we can't keep it, and she said because my family is bad, we support evil, if the sky is blue, we say it's red, that my mother is a bad woman, and she doesn't want to come there. She said so many bad things about my family, I was shocked! I asked her, how are they bad, she said "how can my mother be telling her to wash my clothes" I was just confused, After all I have done for you, is it bad if you wash your husband to be clothes, I left her!

Later she told me the doctor referred her to another hospital, I still tried to persuade her and she said her decision is final. She asked me to give her money to go to the hospital she was referred to, I refused! I insisted that we keep the baby, she told me "I'm a nobody, that she will call now and she will get money to go" I angrily blocked her. Later, she called my other line and told me, she went to the other hospital and the doctor told her, the cost to remove the pregnancy is 125k, she told me and I insisted on keeping the baby.

Please guys help.me, I don't want to terminate my first child, the girl is too disrespectful and rude, I don't want to continue with such woman, but she is carrying my baby, what do I do? And if she later agree to keep it, how do I go about it?

You all are just saying "don't marry her" what about the baby? Should I agree to abort it and give her the money?

MODIFIED

SMGGroup:
https://www.vanguardngr.com/2023/01/obi-shades-tinubu-over-educational-records-health-status/?fbclid=IwAR0vCJeCF1vtKwtUUUP_TTr573o2Gw7blhgpubqjpMdqw4-Qe27GhV53UB0

Jeweltz:
This guy has been all about virginity and virginity since we start talking. This is a guy that might've had uncountable sex with all sort of women in America o. Now he comes and he said he love his wife a Virgin. I only ever had about two sexual experience with men . Never seen a grown man obsessed about virginity like that

Kollins11:
SIMPs will not know so it's okay to lie to them that you're a virgin while you're not.

But you see Alpha mad guys like us, we don't even need to chuk preeq inside your kpekus before we could detect you're a virgin or not. Infact main staring at the kpekus we don already know say u no be virgin.

KeyEndurance:
There Was A Girl I Toasted Last Month And She accepted Me But Later Told Me That No Sex Till i Marry Her. And She Gave Me Her Reason That Her Ex Broke up With Her After Having Sex With Her, so That Thought Her A Lesson And Me I Dont know When I Can Marry Her Because Am Still Hustling. So What Will You Do If I Girl Tell You this?