₦airaland Forum

maureensylvia:
Only women who are married monogamously under the marriage act (in court or in an approved church) have the right to say “My husband is cheating on me”! If you are only married traditionally, your husband never vowed to be faithful to you!

when you are married only under native law and custom your husband has the right to marry as many wives as he wants and there is NOTHING you can do about it. Also your children belong to him custody wise under native law and custom.

Constrictive criticism is allowed

What difference does it make. If you do all the legal marriages and your hubby cheats on you you are no different from the woman who only did native marriage and was cheated on. Legal marriage does not stop cheating. Legal marriage does not punish cheating spouses, the highest punitive measure is a divorce which makes the outcomes of couples in a legal marriage no different from those in a native marriage...as I type, someone's legal husband is pumping someone else's legal wife all in the guise of business meeting...native marriages save the stress of spending stupidly and it's only drawback is that it is not recognised by the law of the land and when that land is Nigeria, you can dump the law inside dustbin because Nigerian criminal-justice system is trash!

What are your current prices please and what discount will you offer if I am buying more than 10bags

Xj2020:
He is a very principled man. Very religious and doesn't play with his God been a devoted Muslim. Extremely rich and bless with four grown up children with the second of his children getting married in a month time.

He retired from the bank 2 years ago having risen to the pinnacle of his career in the banking industry having served in different capacities for almost 35 years.

Yes, the wife is uncultured and ill-mannered. He knows already and has been managing her all these years.

He is presently in court seeking to divorce his wife and has vowed that nothing would stop him from divorcing his wife.

My question is what could possibly make a man thrown in the towel and walk out of his marriage after so many years together?

I will like to know.

His wife is uncultured and ill mannered all these years and he put up with it? So he has been sleeping with and breeding an uncultured and ill mannered lady for decades and he is just realizing now that he needs a divorce? There's more to this than meets the eyes!

To the idiots who trust scientists and not the science, who mistake scientific sentiment for data see for yasef...

https://rumble.com/vnouq3-twitter-user-video-showing-the-shifting-narrative-in-vaccine-efficacy.html

Truthwords:
DO YOU WANT TO SEE DOCTORS, HERE IS THE PROOF : https://rumble.com/vbsydt-doctors-worldwide-speak-out-against-covid-19-vaccine.html

Dude thanks for posting this video...if it were on youtube it would have been banned. Jah bless.

AlhajaChinyere:
99% of olosho customers are married men…

...and they need prayers...why get married and they patronize olosho. Money wey you go take pay bride price, trad wedding, buy list items, do church wedding etc e go reach to take bang different varieties of olosho for the next ten years...so why marry na. Any man wey marry and still dey visit olosho e get mental health issues ohh!

AlhajaChinyere:
Baba, please talk to me. I have exactly the same problem- the wrong spec. I can’t get it up for her. Yet when I get to joint, I get hard pass firewood

Nice woman but we are both miserable like hell but she refusing divorce cause of what people will say

Baba na prayer u need ohh...this wan wey your charger they select charging point. Guy all charging point na d same ohhh. If your charger dey touch den den don dey press button for village be dat ohh.

shedybaba44:
Hello nairalander, I jus got married march this year, honestly am bored already .

The truth is am an only son so the whole pressure of getting married from my family made me got married although I love my wife she is beautiful, sexy and intellectual but I just miss the bachelor life.

I feel I entered marriage too early am just 29 although am well to do, with my own business and from a well to do home also... but am always feeling marriage is slowing me down business wise and exploring.

Sometimes I just feel like I want to leave the house and do what my fellow friends that are not married are doing.

I am scared I might divorce soon....cause honestly am bored the whole marriage thing just tire me although I go out with my wife and all that...

Please what should I do..??

Is it normal for a guy that is young and just married to feel like that

please advice

This is what happens when you allow children that should still be playing around with their toys to get married. Did your parent choose your spouse for you? Did your parents say the marriage vows for you? Was your business brain not in play when you were saying the vows? How come you did not recognize this trash you are saying when you were asked to say your vows? You sound like someone who goes to an eatery, eats food and then tells the waitress that you cannot pay for the food because it is not sweet...imagine rubbish. So what happens to the life of the beautiful lady you are about to destroy. You are itching for adventure but you don't want to carry your wife along.

Your parents have spoilt you. As you are now, you are nothing without your parents and their wealth. Dude you better wake up from this mumu slumber ohh, you are at the start of the noon phase of your life. You had better grow up, learn to be responsible and be accountable. That is what makes a man not the rod in between your legs. You had better be born again, the boy in you must die for the man in you to come forth.

Yoighaman:
"...be it his mother"...

Bros, you high when you dey type this your post ni? We are not understanding your line of thinking.

You suppose get the sarcasm na...read the same post but anywhere you see father replace it with mother,anywhere you see son replace it with daughter and anywhere you see woman change it to man..then read the post again. What you will get is the common song of mumu feminists!

Lastmankc:
Nigeria police are useless

Useless? They are worse than useless. A useless thing will not harm you but Nigerian Police can do more harm to you than you can imagine. Na who go see this Frank Mba face for night wait? The difference between police and armed robber to me is that one wears uniform the other doesn't shikena.

TheGidRedpiller:
I see you coming back to nairaland to swallow the redpills in overdose. I promise you.

Dude I've gone full circle. I've tasted the bitter, the sour, the toxic and the sweet...trust me they all taste different. You can apply your redpill overdose to the hoes you encounter daily but there is an elite class of women that don't fit your narrative.

killmods:
[s][/s]
BS

Get some education...you need it!

killmods:
Myopic Nigerian judgement as usual. So because she smokes she's a rag? Na the mumu OP i blame. If he doesn't see smoking as a big deal him for no post this rubbish. Intelligent well to do and very responsible people smoke. That Nigerians still attach smoking to being wayward like our forefathers did is very shocking.

She is not considered a rag in every area of her life but she may considered a rag as far as marriage/long term relationships are concerned. Pew research suggests that those who smoke are likely to be more stressed, less happy (more cranky and irritable) and less healthy. Spouses of smoking partners tend to be less happy significantly than the spouses of partners that do not smoke (source: [url=https://www.researchgate.net/publication/341354738_marital_satisfaction_according_to_spouse%27s_smoking_status] here [/url] ) and non-smoker spouses of smokers are at risk of terrible health challenges like stroke (source: here ). So you may be an intellectual, be a president, be whatever you like, if you smoke your marital well-being will be at risk (according to facts on ground). So in in the light of these facts, smokers irrespective of their status in society are easily considered a nuisance in intimate relationships particularly when they are in a relationship with non-smokers. So this is not a "Nigerian" judgement as you may think, because smoking is a global phenomenon and its negative influences have been confirmed globally.

heendrix:
I and her have always been this close buddy since my first day in secondary school and along the line, one thing led to another that she had to leave the school cuz the family relocated to another state. this broke me and I felt sad cuz she was this good gentle girl that always care so much bout me.

After some years, we reconnected on FB and just like a dream how we felt for each other never change. she wasn't forming, we still chat till late night. we later loosed contact and some way life still connected us after a while and we just couldn't hide our feelings for each other that we opened up on how we've always felt Since those JSS 1 days so we got dating and tbh she's just that damsel. never giving trouble, understanding and still her gentle self and now my sis is bout ruining it for us both as her elder brother is actually my sister's fiancee who are expecting to get married next year.

tbh folks I can't cut short this relationship cuz of this. what will happen if two siblings marry from same families?? is it really a taboo?? aswear it's just doing me like a movie anytime I get to think of it. I'm just kinda sad atm what do i do??

PS; We're both final year students of a 5years course in two different uni

You and the geh are not related by blood na...haba! Free yourself and go ahead with your relationship. Inform some elderly friends you know about this though so they can help you discuss with your folks and her folks!

MOSTEC:
Apart from this act, she is a wife material...

.. We all gat our flaws... (remember)


So single guys.. Can u marry or date this lady

We define wife material differently. This may be some idiot's wife material but to most guys this is their rag...

It's funny how all women are judged by the decisions of hoes...there are women who don't require their man to have wealth, have goals or even have any ambition before offering themselves and it would be wrong to judge such women by the same standards as the regular hoes that most men encounter. There are women who started with their men when they were nothing and seemed hopeless but today they doing great as couples...another funny thing is how the same men who form redpill still find a way to have regular sex by deceiving ladies. You asked what a lady brings to the table and she offers her body. On nairaland you will walk away and form alpha male but in reality you will accept her merchandise like goat!

Newton85:
Your own so-called "Holy Book" called Bible is enough evidence.

Produce the evidence in the so called Holy Book na! Abi you dey fear ni? If it's in a book, you should be able to produce the evidence na...abi you cannot read ni?

Newton85:
Both Christianity and Islam are misogynistic, end of.

Produce the evidence na!

J2381:
Wow. Surprise this still happen today. Thought all this was a thing of the past.

Well let's wait for MURIC to react to this. Come to think of it, since it's muslims beating the Hell out of a fellow Muslim, I doubt they'll react.

Never thought I'd say this but where are those damn feminist group when you need 'em.

They are in the same club as the muslims na...mumu feminists know how to shout toxic masculinity in Europe and US that are free regions but they will play dumb when they hear of the atrocities of Islamic countries against dissenters or defaulters.

Newton85:
Both Abrahamic religions are "hateful and intolerant of women."

Mention the other abrahamic religions where women are being flogged in this manner! Mention the other abrahamic religions where you get beheaded for adultery, disobeying authority or even for murder...please mention the abrahamic religions!

Lisong:
You have a point bro. But then, your comment is lopsided because it makes it look like no unbeliever can live a happy married life, which is untrue in reality. What will you say about atheists that live successful married lives while pastors break up with their spouses? What do you have to say about moslems and unbelievers that are successfully married while christians file divorce every now and then? My brother, there are certain rules that when you adhere to them you get the desired results irrespective of your faith and its God that made it that way so man can live by the rules of life. Thats why if an atheist and a christian plant crops in the farm, both crops grow as long as they keep nurturing it. But the problem with christians today is that they feel as long as they have God they dont need to water or nurture the seed. They just need to have faith and give offerings to a man of God and then everything will fall into place. Thats why we have so many successful unbelievers than believers. God has given man the wisdom to run his life and that wisdom is embedded in principles. Put God first, rely on God, but follow the principles of life. This article just gave out some principles. There may be exceptional cases where it may not work. perhaps due to the individuals involved or to wrong application of these principles.

Very true. Some unbelievers make marriage work but I believe that the principles to make marriage work are by God and can be applied by anyone even though they don't believe in God or believe in Christian principles. Paul spoke about people who may be gentiles but follow the law of the LORD GOD as it was delivered to their heart (Romans 2:14-15). This was how Naaman being a Syrian soldier and not believing in the LORD GOD obeyed the Prophet Elisha and was healed so also many unbelievers can believe in God's leading and receive the reward of obedience even if they do not believe in the very God that inspired them. So you can find an atheist, who doesn't have faith enough to believe in the existence of God, but he believes that there is woman out there that matches him and that he is to put down every mundane criteria and listen to his heart. He decides not to exploit ladies or take advantage of them and he pays attention to identify that golden lady that matches him and he matches. If he follows his heart he will marry right. And if he sees marriage as an opportunity to learn, grow, lead, evolve and become a better person he would be an atheist but a great spouse and will sustain his relationship for years...this is why no one should condemn anyone due to their faith because they may be unbelievers but yet they heed the voice of the LORD GOD in their heart so much that the LORD GOD favors them much more than He favors the so called believers...and at their death, the LORD GOD can play the ultimate rescue card seen in the verse Exodus 33: 19 and make that once upon a time unbeliever enter into His eternal kingdom.

ChineduChinedu:
Please help, I need advice, I am very confused man, I don't know what to do in this situation

There is this girl I met in Lagos she help me find a house in Lagos from there we started dating.

I Asked her to marry me and get pregnant for me. Later she got pregnant for me.
She started disturbing me about marriage rights.

On the wedding day I discovered that she has 3 children for one man.
I have asked her several times even before she got pregnant she keep saying no

A day before the wedding, one of my uncle called me and tell me that one babalawo said that the woman I want to marry has 3 kids already.

All that day I wasn't myself I woke her up at midnight and forced the truth out of her
She admitted and start begging me to forgive her, she said she has been looking for the best time to tell me. All this are happening on our wedding day, she beg me not to tell anyone that it can be secrets between me and her àlone, I insisted that I must tell my people from my state enugu to Lagos

My people discouraged me and said I should thank God for revealing this early.
That's how I cancelled the church wedding.

Court marriage 30th September
Church wedding 2nd October
But Before that wedding day, we did court marriage, I told her that I don't want to do court marriage because if she cheat on me I will divorce her and loose my half of my money she got angry, the first day we didn't talk, 2nd day same, Then 3rd day she start packing her loads, I beg her to stay that we have few days to church wedding she insisted that If I don't do the court that I should cancel the church wedding that she can't trust me without court marriage

We did the court marriage, without my parents consent cuz it didn't come from my heart, her junior brother is the one that sighn for me in the court

I don't know what to do in this situation oo

Her first son is 13 years
2nd son 8 years
3rd girl 6 years
And now she is pregnant for me aa

Am 30 years while I don't know her real age

We have lived together for 8 months before I could discover this
And during this period we have been together
She controls me alots and that make me sad
She shout at me too
If ask me to do something for her and I refuse it becomes problem

Please what do I do ?

...but guy you take style dense ohh...na so you take marry your enemy! This matter na for the elders ohh!

Omicron007:



To become a penetration tester in Nigeria is quite easy but there are certain things you need to acquire or do.



First, your gbola must not be less than 7 inches. A long sleek gbola is a plus.
You also need to write to the association of virgins chairlady in your state to grant you license or clearance.

A first hand experience with Oloshos is a plus. You might have tested different grades of kpekus all around.


Remember that testing of these kpekus is done without wearing rubber. So you have to be careful because the job is very hazardous and risky especially with Nigerian clients.


Also remember that no matter the skill you acquire in penetration, you can never get to the bottom of the kpekus especially if the lady is slim. The well is limitless.

I wiah you the best as you start. Incase you have any challenges, you can always reach out to me. I have been penetrating for twelve years.

Guy, but why?

Favfables:
Thank you so much sir for your input...
But see eh...
The possibility of him allowing his mother inlaw to stay is very slim, if not non-existent...

Imagine, your mother travels all the way from the village, and after a very stressful journey she expects to rest in her son's house, and the moment she gets there, she is told she can't stay in her son's house, all because her daughter in-law is threatening to rain fire and brimestone...
It's truly hurtful and this guy loves his mum like mad (his father died about a decade ago so his mum has been his all)...

And now that the wife is in the same delimma her husband was a while ago, do you think he'll just allow it like that?? Come on na, let's be real here...

The husband will think that, if we couldn't make an exception for my mother, why should I make an exception for hers?? Is it because her mother is better than mine?? Or is there something that's so special about her mom??

Thoughts like this will definitely run through his mind...

I get. If na me sef I no go gree...but whatever decision they arrive at, they need to redefine the terms of their union. Men should stop seeing themselves as equals to their wives and start making sensible policies to guide the conduct of behavior at home.

initiate:
When things are breaking apart with the wife and you know there is likely hood she will take the kids how does a man ensure he has a firm and unbreakable bond with the children so that in the long run the relationship will endure even is former spouses turn to be major adversaries.. First thought is to pamper with gifts but that seem superficial and transient,

advice needed

It's simple. Love them. Inspire them. Teach them. Listen to them. Attend to their fears. Attend to their insecurities. Guide their sexual life. Participate in their fun activities. Take them out. Share your pains with them. Don't be afraid to apologize to them when you are wrong...and above all, create an investment for them. Do these and you will always be in the heart of your kids.

You can do all these things and yet be betrayed, cheated on or ruined by your spouse. First things first, make the right choice. No amount of learning can help an ant have a successful marriage to an elephant. To make the right choice, seek the LORD GOD in prayer and trust His counsel. Now to make the right choice is one thing, but to sustain a marriage is another thing...to sustain the marriage both spouses must agree with the divinely ordained rule that husbands must love their wives as Christ loved the church and wives must submit to their husbands as unto the LORD. Both spouses must get closer to God to allow them meet the conditions of sustaining their marriage.

Favfables:
A man got married to a girl (let's call her Sarah) and they had a policy that no one, not even family members should visit without informing them, they agreed expressly that I any member of their family visit them without informing them, they'll lodge the person in a hotel for just a night and send them back home.

One certain time, the man's mother came home without informing anyone, the man pleaded with his wife to be considerate as they were short on cash but Sarah was adamant that her mother inlaw must go, since she didn't give any prior notice before her arrival. The man was not happy about it, he had to look for money to borrow, lodged his mum in the hotel and sent her parking the next day...

After a while, the Sarah's mother also came around for her son's graduation (that is the Sarah's brother who at that time was staying at the boarding house), and funny enough she didn't inform anyone, as per the rule, the man insisted that Sarah's mother shouldn't sleep in the house, she should be lodged in a hotel for the night and sent home the next day.

Sarah reluctantly agreed, but she obliged, the next day, a circular was released from the school that the graduation initially scheduled for Monday has been moved to Friday, now. Sarah is insisting that either her mum stays home or they (sarah and her husband) pays for her hotel bill till she leaves...

The husband on the other hand is saying that they won't pay for more than a night as per the rule...

How should this issue be resolved

What you two must agree to are the below verses:

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Ephesians 5:22, 24 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

You two must first agree to this arrangement and factor this into your martial relations. Unless you two see each other as equals or believe in the gender equality trash the wife is to be subject to the husband and the husband subject to the LORD GOD and to be subject to the LORD GOD is to love as the LORD GOD loves.

He should allow his wife's mom stay for as long as she intends but as soon as she leaves he should tell his wife that they are dropping that policy of how you treat your relatives. A better approach will be to inform your parents to give them a heads up anytime they are coming around to visit.

Tell him to be the man and take charge of his home. He should love his wife and also be the captain of the ship of his family. The first time a man decided to be lax with respect to his duties as a man he sinned, he was thrown out of his lush garden and he plunged humanity into a life of sin and death.

Love your wife and be the captain of your home...in other words be a benevolent dictator

@chinasaekpere from your post I can see that you have inherited the pattern and spirit of the waters and emptiers from your parents. Yes, your Dad is religious but he is not spiritual. You need to go for deliverance. If you cannot go for deliverance, get prayer points from Dr. D. K. Olukoya (http://mfmjesu-ga.org/2016/05/02/the-battle-against-the-wasters/) and pray before you make another decision. If you don't break from the pattern of your parents you will repeat their mistakes just as you have already started making the mistakes.

How is this not the objectification of women? So to keep a man happy you allow him penetrate every hole in the family...will the man allow his Dad and his brothers, if he has any, access your hole as well as those of the other females in your extended family? Have you considered the implication of this open relationship on your kids, if you plan to have some?

armstrongadeola:
Good evenning house ,

I just want to ask this simple question !

What will you do if for the first week you get your salary paid into your son account and your wife withdrew #35,000 but lied she withdrew #30,000 ?

This is what happened .She gets the SMS notification from our son account and she also keep the ATM card but all I do is to get the mail notification.

Tonight ,she was indirectly complaining she doesn't have money and I asked her how much she withdrew in the last five days and she said #30,000 but the mail notification I got showed she withdrew #5,000,#15,000 and #15,000 on Monday and Tuesday (this week ).

The amount that dropped in the account was #150,000 and she was the one that even started doing transfer for those we needed to settle last sunday when my salary dropped .

We paid our son school fee ,sent little amount to my sister and little amount to her mum and her elder sister and I borrowed #13,000 from the money for transportation.We paid debt of #20,000 .

I stay and work on the island while I go home three times a week (mainland)

In all these,she was able to withdrew #35,000 and I was surprised she was telling me this night to get the money someone was owing me so that I can return the #13,000 I got because all what we have as balance in the account is #2,000 .

I was like is she trying to tell me she have finished the #35,000 with her and jokingly I said how much did you even withdraw from the salary and she said #30,000 !

I asked her if she was sure and she said that's what she withdrew .I now sent the notification I got to her and she was shocked and refused to reply me since 8pm .

My question is why did she lie ? Definitely ,she know she took #35,000 (#5,000 &#15,000 on Monday&another #15,000 on tuesday )but I am still shocked why she lied and why she is insisting on getting the #13,000 she transferred to me from my own sweat !!

Seriously ,I have lost my trust in her .This is someone who I have never benefitted anything from her rather than the fact that we have a son together after our wedding .

I love her so much and we have been together since 2013 .I have never seen any trace of infidelity in her but she locks her phone with heavy security just because I lock mine and that have never cause an issue but I still don't know why she had to lie this night !

Is there something I don't understand ?

She have definitely been a good wife since we settled down( with prayer and moral support )and she always stand by me in term of better and worse and she is not wayward despite how pretty she is .

But why did she lie ?

You need to have a chat with her. If you are confident she is not wayward and she is generally a good wife, schedule a chat with her. Let her know you are not averse to sacrificing and providing for the family and that she has to stop lying and always come clean if she is to continually earn your trust. Tell her to arrive at a verbal covenant with you that both you will never lie to each other and that both of you will use your resources towards the betterment of your family (both nuclear and extended). Create a family business in your name and have your wife manage the business. You too, oga, be open to your wife. Don't do what you don't want her to do. Lead by example. May the LORD GOD of marriages keep your marriage as sweet as fresh wine!

ExAngel007:
https://punchng.com/kenya-bans-local-dance-says-it-increases-immorality-early-pregnancy/

Someone needs to educate this inept leader that correlation does not imply causation...he has not controlled for all intervening factors that could result in the seeming correlation between the dance style and teenage pregnancies!

4.5 million naira? Wow. The hospital did well attending to the couple but a bill of 4.5 million naira is serious. This explains why some men will neither think of marriage nor consider childbirth. Sorry ladies but many of you will remain single into your 50s...and for those who think the man to be irresponsible, have you considered the possibility that all the man had in his account to sustain his wife's delivery was say 1m and this was why he was confident he could finance childbirth? It is possible that the wife's delivery was complicated and he had already blown 1m away and the outstanding fee was 4.5m...the man is very much a responsible man for not running away like some of you posting here would do but rather doing everything he needs to do get help.