₦airaland Forum

Cutehector:
At least he accomodated you, you should be grateful to him rather than spew your unrespectful venom here.

Get the fück out of his house if you think its easy to feed others.

You are not sounding like a gentleman

You don't know the situation of the entire family

Did you read where he said because of his father's nonchalant life style, his mum becomes the family bread winner

Which child wants to see the mum raising the children whole his dad is still alive

They have gone through hard times to get this far and still going through hard times

I expected you to talk to him as a fellow guy and calm him down

We all have one nonsense or the other that we are going through in life

Iamdbull:
I already told you guys at the romance section how I have been kicked out of my lekki apartment. So now I have moved back with my parents and now this is my challenge!


I have a father that I will tag as one of the most UNambitious people in the world. My mom is the breadwinner. The kind of people without purpose that fill there days with small talks and idle talks and also try to while away there time on earth by find petty amusements here and there.

So this morning we were both in the car going to church and I picked a book to read only for him to start all these idle talks and asking some silly questions " where is that your babe that you came with that time, she's so tall bla bla bla" and trying to start other irrelevant conversation, me that I am struggling to find my life bearing. I gave him those unenthusiastic reply which made me feel kind of rude inside.


This has been happening for long, I remember like 7 years ago that I decided to trek a long journey rather than moving with him and when questioned I voiced out that I hate his petty talks.

I thought I was the only one feeling this way until I talked to my other siblings and one was even saying he is thousands of years behind. The frustrating thing is I have a brother that is very brilliant but my parents always complain that he drinks and he's not serious but now am beginning to think it's due to the weak father figure we have that caused it all

There was even a point my mum used to complain but after a while she just gave up and allowed him to drag her down.


It's so fustrating when I see people younger than me that are far far ahead and here I am someone is trying to drag my mindset down so fustrating.

Guy, you need to learn to stay a bit distance from him even if you all stay under the same roof

Don't let his attitude wey you down

The situation you are facing now is not his business and won't be

Avoid using any harsh words on him, just ignore him

So that you won't be asked to apologise to him for using careless words on him that's why I say distance yourself

Pray to God to reposition you so that you can find your way

MikeofKd:
Lol females would hate you for doing these things mentioned here , confused gender wey Dey always prefer guys wey Dey beat dem over gentle nice men .

No female will Condemn or hate this write up

Your write up is fantastic

I enjoyed reading it

Jowanonline:
I want to share something with you. You see women, fear them.
I dated my wife for four years before I got married to her. All through the relationship I was taking care of she and her family.

I was into crypto. So I was in money. When I got married to her, I told her I don’t want her to work until we have given birth and our child is 5 years old.

So I made her a full time house wife. Every month, I was depositing 20k in her account. I told her not to touch the money, that she will use the money to start a business of her own once our child is 5 years.

I am the one paying all the bills at home. Even pad. I was the one buying for her.

When our son became 2 years, I enrolled him in a private school all bills still on me.

During the crypto crash, I lost a huge sum of money. I decided to use the remaining money and start a business. I have not done business before, so within 6 months, the business started shaking and was on the brisk on collapsing.

I told one of my female friend who was into crypto too and she is also in my line of business, so she schooled me and I needed 1 million to close the loop holes in my business so that the business can bounce back.

I told my wife to borrow me 1 million naira from the money I have been saving in her account for she to start a business once our child gets to 5 years. Can you believe my wife refused?

I taught it was a joke until I checked where we normally keep our ATM card and I noticed she has removed her ATM card from there.

I tried everything to make her give me that money, she refused. Saying it’s now her money and not mine. I begged and begged she refused.

I called her mother and I explained things to her and she said where they come from, it is the man that gives the woman money and take care of the wife and not the other way round.

Oga JB, this is the reason why it is good to marry your tribe girl. I was gradually running into depression.

That my female friend saw it in my countenance and she asked me what the problem was? I just opened upto her and she transferred 2m to my account and told me to pay her back once my business bounced back.

I thanked her so much and within 6 months, I sent her 2.5m as appreciation because my business is now doing well.

I called my wife and I told her since she now has money, henceforth we will be sharing bills in the home. I told her if I pay house rent this year, she will pay the following year. If I pay our child school fees this term, she will pay the following term. If I drop feeding money this week, she will drop next week. She was laughing when I was telling her all these.

It was when the week came for her to feed the family and I left for work without dropping a dime that her eyes cleared. She did not cook throughout that week. Do I care? I was eating at a canteen. I just gave a stern warning that if anything happens to my child, she will have me to contend with.

The following week came, I dropped money. School fees came and when our child stayed at home for 2 weeks because his school fees has not been paid. She was forced to pay.

House rent came. Our rent is 1.5m per annum. She said over her dead body will she pay. I just told her no problem that once they eject us out. I will rent another place and collect my child, so that she can go and stay with her family.

She was forced to pay the rent. And her account balance was now 500k. Now she wants to make peace. Her parents can’t call me because I warned her to tell her parents not to ever call me nor step their foot in my house again because when I asked her for that money, her mother and father supported their daughter.

They can’t even call me because I have blocked and deleted their number for long. I will make sure she exhaust all the money in her account. I will now give her a go ahead to go and start working for her own money.

Even if she starts working, this is how we will be sharing bills in this marriage. I have already told her that if she can’t cope, she should send me divorce papers and I will gladly sign it.

I will rather earn my money and spend it on myself than give this woman my kobo.

That her attitude really opened my eyes. Oga JB had it been I was sick nkor? That was how this woman would have allowed me to die.

I even sent my parents and friends to beg this woman during my business crises, this woman refused.

I have lost love and value for her. I have lost value for marriage too because I did not in my widest imagination think this woman will do this to me.

I have not touched her for almost 2 years now. Am not even a sex person. When she is tired, she will leave this marriage herself

Hmmm,

Honestly I salute your courage and I support any decisions or actions that comes out of this

Palmyra:
I will try and make it shorter as I can, because I'm not good in English.
We met online and everything was great in the beginning. We live in different cities like the four states apart, but I live and work in Lagos.
Throughout the first five months of the relationship it was heaven on earth, but the horror began when she started having all kind of friends who are also members of the same platform we met, in most cases she will invited a particular lady to my apartment whenever she visits. I tried to stop her because I'm not comfortable but all my efforts were fruitless.
Fast forward to February this year, she became pregnant and never disclosed it to me, then one night I had a terrible dream pointing directly to her getting pregnant and run away with it. Immediately I woke up, I called her; but she never gave me straight answer she only asked if I'm afraid �then I stayed calm.
Since then I've been trying to visit her but she always give one excuse or the other just to discourage me from coming as she has relocated from her formal apartment to unknown place.
So one morning I just found myself inside a WhatsApp group created by my fiance with some of the members of the platform we met including the lady she always invited whenever she came around. I was accused by her of invited a lady over on Valentine day and also how I've been sleeping around.
I was humiliatiated, insulted and called so many unprintable names......mind you we are not legally married yet and no convenant binding us except the pregnancy she never formally informed me.
So about a month and half later after a lot of pleading and begging, she agreed to allow me to visit her in her new apartment, that makes over five months she's been pregnant that all I can see is picture or sometimes when we talk on video chat.
So the day arrived I met her heavily pregnant looking good and I was very happy, I try everything in my power to make her happy and I promise her that I will do anything to be a good husband and a father and she obliged.
I stayed four days and returned to my work in Lagos, we chat everyday until two days to her disappearance that I noticed some changes in our conversation, I tried to ask her questions and she immediately adjusted.
Few days later her number is not going through again until about sixteen days after that I got information from a reliable source that she has travelled to Libya by road....though I later establish communication with her both on video and audio but the damage has been done .
Her excuses for her actions according to her was that I betrayed her and there's no way on earth she can forgive that,
She justified her actions by using a rumours she never saw with her eyes to kill our unborn kid...unknown to me when we met, she has a kid with her mother in their village and I beg her with everything if she has a kid before but she bluntly denied.
This is a lady that always says she loves me more than anything and cannot trade me for anything on earth.
U can comment, you can advise, please don't insult me, if you have issues with my English please swallow it like that.
Now she has to work for the traffickers for over a year before she can regain her freedom, even before she can work for herself.
Thanks.

How are you even sure the pregnancy belongs to you

Because am still wondering how she was pregnant for you and still be behaving like an agent

Balo7leke:
how much is obubra engagement list please help a brother

Are you after the engagement list or you want to know the total cost

Why not ask your girlfriend and if it's something you can't afford you pull out

Merxi:
Good evening everyone, I need your candid opinion as I am about to return my proposal ring to my husband to be. We plan on traveling out of the country next year after getting married. All of a sudden he has been insisting on us not having a court wedding. He just wants us to do traditional wedding and that’s all!…I have tried to change his mind but he is really adamant about it. This is someone I have been dating for close to 6 years

Pls relax your mind and plan the wedding that he wants

A time will come he will know the value of registry, especially regarding Change of name in documents and other related things

For you to do change of name in national ID, obtaining a passport and bank modification with change of name and documents for visa processing you need marriage registry certificate

By then he will know that he shot himself

Just go ahead with the traditional marriage

I don't care about his fears about court registry

If he is genuine, he shouldn't be acting funny

Peachcakes81:
Thank you very much. I stay at Mowokekere, off Ijede Road,Ikorodu

OK good

Big2bore:
MEN ; this World without the WOMEN how would it be?

It will be peaceful but there won't be fun entertainment and dramas

So it won't have live

nijaomegacode:
My profile.
Age: 29
Income: 50k per month.
Height: 178cm
Complexion: dark
State of origin: Kaduna.
Religion: Christianity.
Nationality: Nigerian.
Preferred number of children: 7


People fall in love in different places.
Love can be found anywhere.
Please Dm if I meet your specs.
Thanks.

You want to get married at 50k and seven children

Is alright

Discombulator:
My little brother got his lifetime girlfriend pregnant a couple months ago and abortion is out of the picture due to security reasons,left to my idiot of a brother I'd not support him but the girl in question happens to be a very decent and respectful girl and that baby is my family too so I don't have a choice than to assume at least most of the responsibility, Just got a job for my brother in March and he hasn't even started getting paid yet which means he can't support a family let alone a child, he is just 24 by the way.
So I want to know ball park how much things like hospital bills,baby clothes,toys,baby cribs etc will set me back for. I'm thinking I should set aside like 500,000 for the hospital naming and things we're going to need for the delivery.
And 50,000 monthly for 12months because I'm not going to support them for more than a year, he has a federal job and his salary should have kicked in by then.
Don't get me started on how I spoilt and enabled my brother to be a brat even at his age cos I know, thing is I've always been responsible for him,I practically raised him so he looks at me like am his dad or something and I'll always be there to pick up his slack when he mess up,plus I love that fool more than myself,he is my blood and I'd do anything for him.
Plus he is a good kid and this is the first time he's actually fvcked up

You have tried, whatever amount you have keep it and watch how he will padle the canoe

Once he starts receiving salary let him start buying things and his wife will snap them and show you in whatsap

That alone will put him on a hot seat

While you keep your money and bring it out where he stopped

Peachcakes81:
Good day everyone, how are you all doing today? Very well, I believe. For those who went to church, I trust service was awesome,for those who didn't, trust your day has been awesome too.

My name is ItunuOluwa. I have a beautiful passion for baking very great cakes for all occasions. You really need to see me when I'm working on a cake;my whole being comes alive. I don't just jump into baking once I get any order,I sit and craft out the final outcome of the cake. I do this because I want my customers to be impressed and happy when they get their order.

I love working on cakes that keep me on my toes, they expand my horizon. And do you know what makes me happy the most? The lovely feedbacks I get from my customers. Ohhh,nothing compares with those feedbacks,they give me a feeling of fulfilment, like I'm on top of the world���

Kindly patronise me today and you'd be glad you did. I'm in Ikorodu, Lagos, but I deliver to all local government areas in the state.

Please WhatsApp/call 08127572345 or 08058855779 to place your order.

Thank you

Peach Blossom Cakes and Confectioneries

Your cake looks beautiful and the colors are beautiful too

Where in Ikorodu do you stay

donaldking10:
a brain resetting slap once in a while would do the trick.

You need to have a child then practice such with your child

Lamanii22:
A very warm evening to you motherlanders! I'm quite worried about my 16months old sucking her lip, it started like recently, I have tried to correct her by tapping on her lip to stop but she's adamant.

I need ways on how to stop it, if any one of you have experienced this and was able to stop it then kindly share the tips you used! Thank you, I await your responses.

Keep trying to stop her, though unless it runs in your family, if not keep trying and don't give her any goodies if she sucks

Make her to promise you that she will stop it and help her by watching her

gstelly:
Good evening all, I am a student of Ambrose Alli university Ekpoma (AAU) I am the one sponsoring myself ever since I lost my mom, those who school or been in ekpoma knows living in Ekpoma is expensive the little I earn is not enough for my needs.
Completing my school fees is a big problem for me currently have 40k whilst the fees is 48385 then ENT and GST registration and textbooks is 5k I don't have any other way to come up with it

Honestly you have tried and you have to keep it up

It's only God that can help your situation

But keep pushing and look out for any thing meaningful to add to the ones that you are doing

I didn't ask you about your dad since you didn't mention him that shows that he is really not in your life

You can still seek help form uoir mother families they wbe more willing to help than any other family

God will provide for you

sharon12345:
Pls advise.
I'm 6months pregnant. The way I work hard before doing my small business has declined. I have successfully saved 500k.

My husband is not helping fianancially at all. He claimed he's into Forex trading and online business. All his money goes there.
He promised we will change appartintment from the free one we're presently in, but as soon as I agreed and got pregnant, he relaxed and refused to make any effort toward that.
I will soon deliver and he has no savings. He has not been contributing to any of my hospital expenses, home upkeep either. All his money goes into paying loan app and funding his online business.

I'm so disappointed in him.

He keeps petting me with words. He's cunning and manipulative.
I feel like getting an apartment and move there alone without him.

I want a better accommodation before I put to birth. Our present place is terrible, it needs renovation. Almost everywhere is leaking during rain.

I'm thinking of getting a one bedroom apartment of 350k from my money. I know more expenses await me and all that, but I really need to stand up for myself and my forth coming baby.

What do you suggest I do?
In this marriage, I've seen I'm going to be all by myself fianancially.
How should i manage this season in my life to scale through? Pls advise

Sorry for what you have been through and still going through

If you still want that marriage or you are still interested in the marriage

Keep your money saved put to bed there when he sees how inconvenience that place is he will make move to start looking for apartments

But if you get an appointment and pay and he moves in with you he will never ever renew the rent honestly he will not

So more responsibilities will still be on you

But if you know that you are tired of him and you can't stand it anymore

Then get an appointment and move have your baby safely but he will still trick you to come and see the baby from there he will still trick you and pack in, then that means you will continue from square 2

But left for me, stay where you are let him see things by himself that the apartment is no longer accommodating with the arrival of the baby and keep saving till the child gets to a reasonable age where you can move on with the child, that is if you won't be pregnant for the second child while staying there

annycase5:
Today is my birthday but I feel so empty and useless,I've been crying all night for weeks now to a point I feel pains in my chest all the time,my only source of joy which is my child has been taken away from me,even the guy I had the baby for doesn't give me attention
It's killing me so bad I'm depressed.i need to get away from this vicinity cos it gives me memories and each time I remember I can't help it

Anyone that has a job that comes with accomodation pls assist me so I don't commit suicide.pls assist me

You don't need to be depressed because it hasn't gotten to that point

You had a child out of carelessness, so it's not as if it's an unfortunate situation

Brace yourself up and start life afresh no matter how low the level you will be finding yourself

Once you can get anything that will be giving you income start planning a better life the next guy will come but have it in mind that pregnancy does not guarantee marriage

But character may do

OPweysabi:
Let me start by stating that genuine advice and constructive criticism are what I desire and that exactly led me into this form of expression in this public domain.
I clocked 41 years old earlier this year and I got married 11 years ago. The marriage with my wife has not been able to yield any fruit of the womb but that is not even the problem here. At least I observed a lot of people have had great testimonies from the IVF procedure recently as many of the recent threads on here made us believe.
At the beginning, it was not much of a big deal as we thought it was perhaps not a right time for us to conceive but we kept pushing. The disturbing issue, however at that time was that my wife had a very low sex drive from the beginning and that was the way I met her. We later started going for several tests and the results revealed that it wasn't my fault at all but of course, there were some medical issues she had to sort, so we did all that. By 2014, I noticed she started drawing back in bed and that raised a lot of concerns. So I spoke with one of her brothers who is about my age mate, but I noticed no changes like her brother did not raise the issue with her at all. By 2017, I went to Abeokuta to see her mum and told her about her daughter's new fashion of running away from intimacy between me and her. She promised to talk to her. Then I got tired of going for various medical tests as I wondered why we had to spend money and time on tests which won't be backed up by the proper thing eventually. Since then, I think we only made love once and that should be in 2018 or so. Since 2018, there's not been a single hug not to talk of kiss as we lost it completely!

So I met a much younger girl and we started dating. Initially, it was just for the fun of it and to relieve myself of the domestic stress. Later, we got so much into each other and she got pregnant for me! We both agreed to abort it as we knew the danger inherent in keeping it. But then, my wife continued to force me with the periodic medical tests (without the slightest form of intimacy) while the other lady continued to abort pregnancies she had for me. Only last year, the girl aborted 3 pregnancies for me and I felt so bad using her as lab rat. Now I'm 41, when most of my mates don't have infants as children but I'm still contending with a wife who has decided never again to go to bed with me. Confusingly, the other girl is pregnant for me and I'm strongly determined not to abort it this time. In fact, it's already 5 months old!
Now my problems are

*I'm legally married and I have no single problem with my wife asides the issues raised above.

*I think it's criminal because I had a court wedding and I might be prosecuted if she gets to know about this, more so that we are not divorced.

*The pregnant lady's mum has met me before and she doesn't want me because she knows I'm married, so we didn't tell her parents but all her siblings are fully aware and in full support, maybe because they know I've perfected plans to move her abroad to have the baby and let the baby have overseas citizenship. Currently, I've gotten her a well furnished flat since 2 years ago also got her a job paying her 200k monthly.

*My wife's family respect me so much and I think they'll all be disappointed if they get to know.

*I did not tell anybody at all. Not a single family member or friend of mine knows about it because I don't want to be discouraged or lose focus, then nobody can tell me how to create my own happiness.

*I have never had a single issue with the new lady before as she is even about 13 years younger than I am and she respects me a lot. I believe she can't drag issues with me in the future and even if she does, my child remains my child.

*I have never been a fan of polygamy as I understand its intricacies. I know my wife will most likely walk away if she gets to know about this and it will be her strangest imagination!

*I know I can't eat my cake and have it. So what am I to do?

Mods please help shift this to FP as it's an issue really bothering me and I want the participation of many people with diverse opinions.

No matter how dicey this issue is, you ha e to face the reactions for the fact that your child is on the way

I think you will have to wait untiysje puts to bed then announce it to the family both yours and that of your inlaw and tell them how sorry you are for keeping it a secret and the reason you went ahead is that you don't want the lady to die because of abortion having gone through it before because you were rejecting the pregnancy but it keeps coming

No matter how uoir wife reacts just don't shout at her just be calming her down, she may not walk away and if she decides to walk away ask the family to stop her from walking away

If she insist, just free her

At least you have made attempts to stop her and they witness it

But if you were able to sort her and she calms down, the best option for her is for both of you to go for adoption so that she can have a child to be with, while you continue raising your family biologically from the other end

With this you will like be having two wives and make sure you love them equally to avoid much drama and be ready to witness that drama if you don't find aways early enough to prevent wives rival clash

Saintmary:
I'm happy to see that you're making a difference in your own sphere of influence.


I pray that your son's will marry good women.

Amen

Saintmary:
Women should start raising their sons to be the kind of husbands tht would have loved to marry.


This will help the next generation.

That's for this advice, that's exactly what am practicing at home and it makes my son's to understand that they have to be responsible without waiting for their wives to bring food for them to the

If they realy want to gain respect

1vid:
I am currently working with a church that pays me 61k monthly.

I have a calling to start up my own ministry and I am there for learning.

So, I am thinking to quit to start a job job as a sienna driver in a company that pays 50k monthly, I just want to experience outside work and also raise money to start up my ministry.

So, I need some advice.

You idea is good, but you are being paid 61k presently

Have you thought of how to cope with a transport business with a salary of 50k

What makes you think you are going to save more there

Ifailed22:
Thank you for the commentsi may the lord be with you too

Amen and you also

What you need now is words of encouragement and thats what will give you the grace to keep on

thebosstrevor1:
The sentence is Too harsh, maybe i am wrong.

Is not harsh

He was careless with the safety of his passengers and killed 13 passengers

How can he operate an unlicensed boat and with out a life Jacket

DenreleDave:
U just spilled trash. Madam

And you went ahead to read it

Ifailed22:
The situation is dicey, i'm in the village and to ingredients for making meals alone is tough, i can't be buying them goodies when coming back cos every kobo in my pocket is always budgeted. like this week, we ate ice fish once and the rest days are okro, if i get money now, i will buy meat for them and not goodies.

Again, my wife is feeling insecure, i spoke with her many times but she don't want to listen to me. i just hope she will understand later



CC

frozen70

I can see that you are making great effort, keep it up

As for your wife, if she doesn't want to understand then your duty is to make sure she doesn't maltreat anyone among the children

If she does that give it to her then she will take caution

The lord will be with you

Ifailed22:
200? I use to give her more than that every week, i was suprise when she told me that i hate them and love my new wife and kid and abandon them. truth is, i don't have time to stay with them, i'm always on the move to look for money.

worst part is that my wife is not also comfortable with my other children.

You must as a matter of fact create that time and buy goodies for them when coming home

Remember I mentioned in my earlier post that it takes the grace of God for uoir wife to accommodate them

She has to accommodate them and fuster that relationship, now is the time

We don't know who among them will be the greatest or richest of them all

Sink that I to her ear and take charge of your family

Her own child is the last for now, how does she want that child to grow with such disunity in the family

If you don't act now, It will affect the whole system

DenreleDave:
I have this behavior of keeping spoon in my pocket... Even when I am not using it, I will just forget myself and keep spoon in my pocket.. Can you imagine ?

Where I work, I have been caught many times with spoon and it is very very embarrassing... No matter what I say, I feel embarrassed later on

How can I stop this attitude?

6 July 2022 as 8am, just this morning, my spoon found it way into my pocket again

If keeping spoon in your pocket is what you came to this life to do

Then use your mouth and eat yourself to poverty

Tozic:
Using it ruined the whole thing you typed.

Birth control could have been used, keeping it formal.

Nothing I typed ruined anything

Condom is for a good purpose but men don't like it

Birth control also involves condoms

Some family fails but with condom the man can apply caution

Ifailed22:
frozen70 it's really bad for me. i already took my wife to the hospital and they put something inside her should to avoid pregnancy for the next 6years. i don't want to have another child now till i know my direction in life. but i thank god that out of four, 3 of them are girls.

i was planning to give them a good life and education so that they may be married to a good person in future but with what i started to see from my 13year old daughter, i don't think my situation will change

You have started making a good move with the family planning

Secondly, your daughter will definitely change if you will create time to always be with all of them and give her counseling

Children wants parents with listening ears

Make a positive impact on her and the rest

You can decide to be giving her 200 every weekend that's a motivation

Saintmary:
That's a type of husband girls should be looking out for.



Lucky woman.

That's exactly what they are looking for but men in this category are rare

Zchi1052:
Hello my good friends
I just got married recently,did as the tradition demand and wedded officially in my church
But here comes my question
What are the procedures to changing my wife's family name to my family name officially so it can reflect everywhere including the bank, SIM,NIN OR BVN ?



Thanks in anticipation

Congratulations on your successful marriage

Let her get affidavit of marriage and use it to do newspaper publication for change of name

Secondly let her take these two documents to national ID office with her marriage certificate to reflect her new name

Thirdly, when the national ID has been changed and verified let her take it to her bank for change of name modification

That's the last step