₦airaland Forum

Igodomigodo419:
So this is how it feels to lose a loved one?? I just lost my dad to the cold hands of death. He was my pillar, my confident, my backbone. It’s as if everything had come to an end. I pray I weather the storm. Pray for me.

Take heart and brace up yourself

You are the strength your mother and sibblings need now

May his soul rest in peace

It's a painful experience and we all will experience it one time or the other

Probably yours came early

MrChriz:
I have heard some of my married colleagues saying that it's not adiseable for a man to tell his wife how much he earns while some other married colleagues said there is nothing wrong with that..I know this platform has a lot of wise people, I want a general opinion especially from married couple on this. I have plans of settling down next year,

Please mod help a brother and move this to front page.

Well it depends on the understanding you have with your wife

If she is the good type and has always been willing and ready to assist you, then you both have to be open to each other

If she is the type that demands too much yet doesn't make any contributions to the family upkeep

Then there is no need for you to inform her

colored911:
Today I dream seeing my father who have died 25 years ago, it was like a party for him, so he was walking with his walking stick cos before he did he had leg issues that
requires him to hold one of his children on the shoulder for him to move easily, so while walking to the high table, he almost fell, so I ran towards him, he held
my shoulder, on getting almost to the high table, we both fell, both wasnt a hard fall, was like a slip to the ground, I stood up, carried him with my two hands
and delivered him to the people waiting for him at the high table, I recalled someone collected him from my hand and that was it. been looking for interpretation
online, nothing that suits my belief or what it could actually mean. Anyone have an idea?

Well I think he left the family in yoor care and if you have been taking care of his family and keep it up
He just came to visit you

If you have been neglecting his family for pls try and focus on them while you build yours

Newborn27:
Good day family landers.
I'm here again with my epistle but I'm confused as the session is wrapping up I need advice towards the upcoming session.


Last year I posted my story here on how I shoulder responsibility with my 35k teaching job yet facing abuse from my spouse.

I was advised bymatured NLanders to start saving from my little salary to inculcate the saving habit and for future purposes....so far, since June last year I've been doing that and the results are both positive and negative.

Breakdown of the 35k monthly
2k compulsory savings (welfare1)deducted by the school to be given when you're resigning.

1500 tax ...I no sabi how dem calculate am

12k savings into school welfare2 where I can have access to loan of the double amount of my savings ..eg, if I save 100k I fit borrow 200k

10k thrift done amidst staff where we pick numbers to pack in 50k's (5months)


10k deductions for my 2kids tuition fees to be deducted 4times per term...they pay #21,500 each I only add money when we buy new uniforms or books and parties like Carol, career day etc



The positive part.


I was able to do a business in Feb-March this year from my savings... though it wasn't much but I gained close to 200k which enable me to pay my rent of 70k, buy a big generator of 95k(I bought this to as an asset,I can't keep it in my account I'd spend it without any good account for it basically on foodstuff)...pay my kids tuition fees of 61k and settled many debts I was owing.



The negative part
I discovered that since that last year's June I no longer receive salary.

Salary is just audio to me...when other teaching staff are buying new things monthly...I just remain the same no new wears... can't make good hair just #200 weaving and sometimes I borrow to buy foodstuff which I do pay with my extra lesson fees.



Since that last year...once the salary is paid my boss would always call me to pay her my minus i.e the excess after all the deductions, so I always have something to pay her at the end of the month ranging 2-5k monthly.


My question is

Am I doing the right thing?
Or am I taking the advice in the wrong way?

What can I do to enable me balance myself? The savings are helping but I no longer receive salary.


Please advise me on what to do.

Weldone so far

You are doing very well, but you have to reduce your savings so that you won't be pennyless all the time

What about your spouse has he charged for good

Malory:
Nigeria will soon shut down.

Honestly ❗

lonelydora:
While I condole with the family, but the question is...did they actually disobey traffic light?

The LASTMA guys even went to hospital with them, meaning they acknowledged the "medical emergency"

I don't understand this case o. So, because the Fulani man's son, Mustapha, who isn't a doctor said his father died as a result of taking their car away, the NPF now swing into action without waiting for a doctor? Kai!

The LASTMA guys were doing their lawful job na. Sometimes I don't understand Nigeria.

For the fact that the man is hypertensive and the son informed the LASTMA officials and they still heald on to his car

That alone which he witnessed is enough to trigger death

You don't seems to know exactly what being hypertensive is, read more about is

Their crises can trigger death, straight on the spot

SalafRider:
I just finished drying my cloth at that same spot, I was sitting outside trying to observe my afternoon prayer when I saw these 2 snakes playing, jumping on top each other. I called my neighbor and we killed them both.

I am really scared for my neighbor kids that play around the compound carelessly all the time.

Just keep fuel in the gallon or snipper to pour on those reptiles any time you see them and more especially when you may be home alone and they may come around

kahal29:
https://dailytrust.com/osun-election-aregbesolas-men-worked-for-me-says-adeleke

https://www.thecable.ng/osun-guber-some-associates-of-aregbesola-worked-with-me-says-adeleke/amp

In as much as I like him, he should guide his mouth

He is talking too much and revealing things, with the way he is going, that will make people to stop telling him things in confidence because he will reveal it and then go and dance as usual

Bar1941:
This lady still look very sexy @ 51, am sure her engine is still very functional, whereas you see some 20yrs old girls their body and engine is like that of a 70yrs old grandma due to overuse.

Anyway hbd Lady Kate.

This your mouth, be a gentle man

Benki003:
Okay I'll try and make it snappy

So am into this new relationship with this beautiful girl, everyman's dream, fun and nice to be with, but the only issues i have is that she abuses sleeping pills
So she told me that before she met me earlier this year, she's been taking the sleeping pills so as to fall asleep. but then after we started dating she stopped taking it and she's now finding it hard to fall asleep naturally without the aid of the drugs.
please guru's in the house how do we handle this situation, am willing to help her find help.



Ps: she's been taking the drug for close to a year and it has been having advert effect on her, also note that she's been to the hospital before and the doctor warned her to stop and she refused to stop then.

She needs just social help to return her sleeping system back

She may have passed through emotional issues that made her to loose sleep

Bad life experience that made her switch to drugs and other related issues

You attention and affection will bring out sleep naturally with love and care from you

bunnae:
She lost her only child in 2020. Haba!

Since the death of her daughter, she was never the same person again both mentally and emotionally

Alexgman1:
I and my colleague at work recently got romantic. Shes a single mum but she said it was a mistake. Four years ago her so called ex got her pregnant & told her to keep the baby but after a while he travelled and till date he hasn't return neither is his line going through. She later delivered the baby and with the help of her parent shes taking care of the child and hes going to school.

Now back to us. We got into a romantic relationship & she started disturbing me to sex her because its been years she did it. She came to sleep over one night & after so much romancing she pleaded that i should flex her that she cant endure any longer. I stood up & went to my jacket to get a packet of condom. When she saw it she was displeased & asked me not to use condom on her that she doesn't like it at all. I told her i have to use it because i am not ready to be a father yet. I told her i dont know how to withdraw. We both sat on the bed pleading to each other until she got fed up & slept off. She said i dont love her.

The two of you are funny, the part that made me laugh was that both of you sat down and was pleading with each other and eventually slept off

Honestly and both of you are smart

She wants to take in carelessly again

You want to avoid story number two in her life

Well I love your Intelligence

maikbanj:
Good morning dear Nairalanders,

Thank you for being there in the past with your timely advise(s). I am here again just to get some more on a case.

I have a girlfriend which I plan getting married to as both families are all involved. My girlfriend has had a bad past. She was once abused and all but then I was able to help shape her when I got into her life. I have been there for her in my own little way but lately, she has not been behaving too well and I am not happy about that fact.I will itemize these:

1. She once borrowed her friend her school fees to rent an apartment with the promise the friend was going to pay her back before exams started. Her friend failed to pay her back and I had to provide her with the money in order not to miss her exams. Note, the said friend is a female.

2. Second semester, her pops gave her school fees which I saw the alert. Yea,she travelled down to see me from Lag and she spent some but then I told her she would not have spent her school fees to come see me. Infact at that time I never knew she was going to come because I was sick but she did. So I told her not to touch her school fees again that I was going to refund her the money. She left and I refunded. I paid her flight back to Lagos.

I later found out my girlfriend didn’t pay that school fees. She spent it and when it was time to pay she kept complaining. I was mad at her wondering what she must have used it for. I scolded her and gave her part of the money.(N100k)

3. I have paid several debts for her as she made some mistakes in her online business and was swindled. The most recent one now, she went to get loans from apps online. I don’t even know what would have made her do that as I try assist her when she’s in need. I have warned her severally against borrowing but she went to borrow and now she’s into debt.

I have asked what she used the money for but she can’t even point to one thing. She said she used the initial loan for her personal needs and when she couldn’t pay back, she had to borrow from another app to pay and all. That’s how she kept borrowing to pay another till she borrowed from over 15 loan apps and her debt is running into 350k as at today.

I honestly can’t pay such an amount as I have my own personal problems to carry. I was mad because in the past I have warned her against borrowing and all. Now she’s in trouble and they’ve been threatening her to pay back.

I have told her I don’t have such monies to pay back and even if I had I won’t pay back. I have advised she talk to her parents and siblings about it but she has been scared. I have that money but I can’t pay back as I have more pressing needs to attend to. Since she has refused to tell her parents, I am thinking of telling her parents. I am very close to her family.

This is someone I wanna get married to but with all I’m seeing, I am already having doubts.

She’s from a very good home. Deep down, I love her and she does too. But why these problems, I don’t understand.

Please I seek your advice on how to handle this as I can’t pay such debts. I have done several in the past

Thanks

Don't tell her parents
Leave her to carry her cross


But honestly you are not helping her by paying back her constant careless spending in the past

And you said you want to marry her

Anyway is use your tongue to count your teeth

IamBlanco:
Greetings everyone.

One guy is currently blackmailing my female friend with her nude. Apparently, they had a video call, while on the call she was showing him her boobs, unknown to her the bastard was screen recording it. They stopped talking for a while, only for this guy to suddenly reappear again, called her & threatened to post her nudes on social media. He went as far as searching her profile on Facebook and threatening to post the video unless she travels to his city to do whatever he wants her to do.

I’m pissed at this girl cause she was stup*d enough to do this with someone but we can’t throw away the baby with the bathing water.
I can’t post the chats here cause the bastard might be on this platform too. But he has been communicating with her with his phone number.

Please I need help on what to do. She’s confused & devastated already. Pls I need una help.

Mods pls push to front page.

I. Think she can play along with him lure him to where you guys stay, like your state of residence instead of her going to his own state

Then make police arrangements to pick him up

She can play along if she knows how to attract him down

Fiendy:
Am very sure

Report her to the police if you can defend it

Iamyemmie:
Hi everyone, so me and my bf have been dating for 2years + now, no issues. He’s in the states and I am in Nigeria.

The problem started when I started talking about marriage cos I want to settle down.
Now he told me he feels I want to use him to travel abroad, that statement really pissed me off because at the beginning of the relationship he was the one that wanted to marry like 3months after we started but I told him I wasn’t ready and I didn’t know him enough.

So which one is I want to use him to travel now??

I feel like maybe because I keep talking about the marriage stuff, that’s why he thinks it’s because of traveling.

I’m thinking it’s only break up that can solve the issue. Cos if it comes from me, then that’s a clear message I’m not dating for abroad
Or how do I solve this issue??

Ps he has been U.S citizen from the beginning of our relationship.
Just didn’t accept cos he might be a serial killer or woman beater or something, I didn’t know him well enough.

Well he response to you was arrogant and not even from him

If you observe that he is not talking about marriage

Just sort yourself out by looking for another relationship because I don't know how long that you will have to wait for him to propose to you

A woman can't continue waiting

Never the less, don't break up with him yet

Zeekaycn:
Dear Nairalanders!
I need info on this matter that's troubling me now. 2months ago my Fiance applied for a visa to stay in the UK, through the help of her far relative that stays there and the visa had been approved. The issue now is we have struggled to raise the money and up till now not yet completed. Funny thing is, this guy is saying now that he doesn't have any place to accommodate my fiance.

I'm scared of her going with just a million Naira. How can she cop before she finally get a job. We don't even know the situation there accomodation and cost of things.

This traveling thing was never in her mind but her elder sister who serves as her guidance keep pushing that she must leave. Don't even know if my relationship with her will still work afterward though we planned that when she gets there I may later join her.

Please who knows how it is to start up life in the UK? I'm troubled, we where supposed to get married before she travel but I gat pause.

You would have married her before this plan of relocating starts

I don't know if for her to be far from you or plan for you when she gets there

Anyway you tried to contribute for the expenses paid

Now since accommodation is her worries, let you guys talk to that her Aunty who brought the ideas into them

They should be able to accommodate her till she finds her bearing while she stays humble with them

Now my great concern is, I don't want you to put all your trust in her, rather put it on God

EmiDon11:
Member's in the house.,
I am bout to take a blood oath with my girlfriend but i am afraid, what if we cant marry?
How can it be broken?
Can the two partners(me and my girlfriend, if the two of us agree) break it?
Pls i don't want insult .,
I only need matured answers

You must receive insult because that's what will make you develop sense

Why the blood oat in the first place

What for

Are you the one that broke her virginity, if yes and so and if no, why are you bent on digging deep

If you like do flesh oat, it's your business, deal with it

All these premature adults that lacks experience in life.
Tomorrow now you will be running from pillar to post.

drizslim:
the phone been good worthwhile

OK thanks

Christboy320:
Choice deffers beauty

Yes I agree

drizslim:
Infinix s4 pro.. Been using it since 2020 i have d funds to change it but i no de live to impress anyone

6GB ram
64GB rom

How have you been enjoying this infinix hope its a good phone for heavy user

Christboy320:
Best natural drink if prepared well

Tiger nut with date beats it 100%

Solzate:
Please naira landers Biko....all I got on me now 5k ... please I am very positive that I would get help here please

You made a complain with out prove if pictures, documents and medical reports to prove that you are genuine

But you quickly post your account details

How do you want the people here to reason with you

Send her pictures here with her medical condition and upload a video for people to see

We have been scammed in the past, personally I always wants to see that you have a good reason for your request and am willing to assist, do far it's about saving lives

SteadyGrinding:
I'm in the most confused state of my life.

Please I need advice from mature fellows.

I've been in a relationship with this girl for 6month now.
We planned things together. And I swear to God. She's very supportive. When every family ran away from me. She stood by me.

Even supported me when I had some spiritual issues.

We've got plans together. We plan everything together. Life and all.

I will not lie. She is very supportive. She's just my kind. This girl have to break her savings to make sure I achieve some plans. Go broke to see me smile in my difficult times.

I've moved to a new apartment when my landlady was bewitching me. All my business dried up. She stood by me. Supported me in looking for another apartment. Financially she was there. Now I'm just one week in the new apartment. We had our first sex and I contacted gonorrhoea from her.

Now I'm not a simp I know this infection is a sexually transmitted one. She has been swearing with her life that she didn't cheat. Swearing with this. Swearing with that. I know it's all lies. Abi have anyone experience this. Because she was saying maybe it hid in her body system that she didn't sleep with another man.

Now this is the case. I don't want to dump this girl like that. I feel guilt in my mind. After all she has done for me. Please someone talk to me I'm going crazy. This is a girl that has fought spiritual battles for me. I know what I'm talking about.

You know what
Both if you should get tested and treated

Then after that treatment, promise each other to be faithful

After that, watch yourself

If you get infected again and you are very sure that you did not cheat on her

Then you can take any decision you wish, even if it means ending your relationship with her

We must learn to be faithful to each other for health reasons

mtmboss:
Hello nairalanders/ parents. I have this issues bordering me lately I will like to seek parents advice and opinion about. I have a 1year 7month old boy that behave weird, he doesn't want to be around me his father except when I have goodies and immediately the goodies finishes he ran back to his Mom, he follows his mom everywhere, the mom is currently heavily pregnant and I'm already having a serious headache about this, cos his very stubborn and would gum his mom everywhere. he his scared of men the antinatal male doctors about attending to his mom he will be scared and start crying like someone who his traumatized and cry's always. this issue is embarrassing for his mom and bothersome, he doesn't allow the mom to rest or have a free time except when his sleeping, have been a freelancer and works from home and have been with this boy since the day of delivery and suddenly he doesn't want to see me he won't want to associate with me and cry anytime I want to play with him, he doesn't want me to carry him, have tried beating but it doesn't work just to stop crying for no reason and following his mom, one thing about this boy is, he his is a smart kid that knows and understand his environment and what his doing very well and we his parents don't associate with stranger cos of bad blood we've experience in the past so I'm now fed up and depressed pls parents I will appreciate your sincere advice and opinions thanks

Your child is perfectly OK and clinging to his mum is very normal

Boys always attach themselves to their mum and feels in secured seeing any male around their mum

Then daughter's do the exact same thing to their father

Once your wife puts to bed, he will start withdrawing because attention has shifted to new born

Why do you think mother's calls their son, my husband as pet name

Justnow2022:
I’m a male. Do you mind buttressing more on why a female with AS will have less chances of having AA.

I plan on having two or at most three kids to perhaps minimize the chances of AS.

You are can never ever eliminate AS in your children

Just marry AA and save yourself all other stress of genotype

Newself22:
Hello people, please help and advise me. I wasn't sure whether to post this in family or romance. Also, I created this account just to ask this question..

I've been dating this girl for over 2 years now. We were friends before we started dating, and I was aware of her hiv status. By the time I discovered that feelings were coming in, I made extensive research (online), and I figured that hiv+ people can still lead a lot of full healthy life, but so I went ahead and made it official.

I thought I was going to be able to convince my parents that it's not going to be that much of an issue, but apparently now, Im wrong. Now, my parents are on my neck to end things with her.

I told my parents about her status mid to late last year. They were a bit freaked out, but tried to explain that I wasn't at risk, and future children are not at risk too. I thought they understood even tho they expressed their reservations. This is majorly because they know someone that died from it.

Now, some days ago she got back from nysc camp after redeployment to the state my parents stay (the plan was for her to stay there for for the rest of her service year) (also I'm also rounding up my service year in another state)

After she got back from camp, she fell sick. I feel like it's malaria combined with the stress of camp and traveling very long distance. She had to be taken to the hospital for drugs and injections.

The strange thing is, now, my parents too also fell slightly ill within this time frame, so I'm guessing it's a combination of weather and stress for everyone. However, my parents are singling out my girlfriend's sickness as a result of weak immune system because of the hiv. This is someone that rarely gets sick before.
She uses her arvs daily, and viral load is undetectable.

Now, my parents want me to and things with her. I got a call from my mum (when she went to the hospital for her own treatment) asking me to end things with her and look for someone else. She's playing the 'you know we are your parents, do you want our blood pressure to rise, and we die early?' card on me now.

I don't know how to convince them now. My relationship is currently going smoothly, the only hitch is this hiv thing. Me and my girlfriend have made lots of plans for our future, and we are very much in love. I've been fight2 and defending her for over a year to my parents, but now, it seems I'm losing it, and they are putting their feet down.

Dear Nairalanders, what can I do? Can I convince them? My parents and my girlfriend are now on opposite sides, and it seems like I will be forced to pick a side eventually.

Help me

P. S. I am an only child

Honestly you are in a big dilemma and you have to chooses between your parents amd your girlfriend

I will advise you to go with your parents for peace to reign in your family a more especially as you are the only son

Your parents may just develop another thing ams the whole family will put all faults in you and even if it lead to their death, you will stillarry her but your family will never relate with you neither would they attend the marriage

Considering the above, who will you regard as family members when all have left you and your wife

God will provide your girl friend someone who's family will accept and appreciate her

liver123:
I work in a building construction site as an engineer under this man as the main engineer. Last Saturday I went to work and on reaching site I sent him report of site. I stayed till afternoon and I was very hungry and coupled with the fact that there was no place to get something to eat at site, I decided to leave before closing time so that I can go home and eat since there is no serious work on site. He later came to site and called me and I told him that I am sorry I left because I was hungry. This morning I woke up to see his message that I should not come to the site again. I work like a labourer in that site for a salary of 50k without any other chance of getting money. See this life, the best thing is to invest in a business no matter how small and be your own boss. This I have tried for a one and half year of working with this man but how much can i save from 50k to start a business of my own leaving in this abuja that everything is expensive. This life no balance at all

He may have type that and send to you out of anger

So I will suggest you go to him and explain what happened that you left, you can even tell him that you are on drugs and it makes you hungry

He will listen to you

But before this, make sure you won't keep complaining of that 50k

Alternatively, look elsewhere for another job

Cutehector:
hi frozen, my comments doesnt have to please you.


Op if you are seeking for validations here, then i am sorry, you are decieving yourself.

I don't need to be pleased

It's your opinion and it's for the general views

Ok12345:
I don't want to marry but we can be friends....once you find your wife we can cut off communication

This your post is funny though

Wifeneeded:
deliberately created a new profile for this.

I am about 50 and an Australian citizen just as I am a Nigerian citizen. Divorced and and now ready for a serious relationship. I am currently in Nigeria and have been here before the Covid.

I am looking for a matured woman between ages 30 and 55. Means she can be younger and just about 5 years older than I am.

I need a woman who will love me genuinely and not because of the Australian passport...but ready to listen to my past while I listen to hers. I truly do not care about your past provided we can get along well.

Note: the Woman must be gainfully employed or self employed and should be employable in Australia.

Australia is one of the most beautiful countries in the world and with a passport that can give you access to over 150 countries including UK, US,, Canada and so many countries you only dream of.

At my age, I truly need peace of mind, after all that has happened to me...I am ready to love my wife forever and treat her like my queen and baby.

Pls drop me a mail if you are that woman.

To avoid scam, we will chat on email, then exchange mobile contacts immediately and do everything to know we are both real.

Pls I am waiting to read from you and if already married, pls recommend any of your friend, widow,divorced or matured single looking for a guy my kind.

Thank you and God bless you
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I love the content of your write up, you will surely get a good woman

When you see one or among the one's that will come to you
Go for her heart and not her beauty

Iamdbull:
Thanks alot for this sensible contribution, I can't use harsh words on him at all. I just wish I have a very serious minded person I can talk to, not someone that wants to joke and side talk all the time

That's the more reason why you have to be determined in life

May God see you through