MamiTer: Hello good people of nairaland, I have a pressing issue and I really need your help.
A couple of years back I broke up with my boyfriend whom I really loved due to distance barriers. Getting over him was difficult for me so I had to go into a relationship with one of my toasters in order to get him off my mind.
I achieved my aim after a couple of months but the current guy was unwilling to let go, I didn't love him and couldn't get myself to love him despite trying to. I know I was selfish and opened up to him but he insisted that I would warm up to him with time and grow to love him.
The relationship was far from perfect, I was in it solely for what I benefited but we weren't compatible and it was from one issue to another. We were always at logger heads all the time. He insults me and my family at any given opportunity and talks down on me using secrets I shared with him as leverage each time we quarrel. He shredded my self-esteem.
He was insecure and attacked my male friends at any given opportunity including my lecturers, he would access my social media accounts and send derogatory message to any male contact he feels is making a pass at me. All these attitudes made me fed up with him and I decided to breakup for good.
Early this year I met a guy online and somehow we vibed together quickly, we met physically for the first time and it felt like we've known for ages. Everything moved so quickly with this new guy that I started developing serious feelings for him. I was scared because I never knew I would feel something like that again after I broke up with my other ex.
This new guy makes me happy and treats me like a woman, anytime spent with him is always memorable and I don't feel like leaving. The chemistry that we share is super strong and everything seems so perfect.
Now to my issue, this new guy is a fresh graduate and not yet stable, I don't have issues with his financial status because he made me realize a Lady can actually be happy without money being thrown at her. But I'm still scared of going all full into the relationship he might go for service and never come back to me. I don't just want a repeat of my previous relationship that got shattered after my ex relocated.
On the other hand, the other guy is hell bent on getting me back, he's been pleading and sending people to beg me even though I told him I've moved on and has even had sex with the new guy but he still wants me back.
I'm confused and don't know what to do, my heart is with the new guy but the other guy is making things so difficult for me and almost driving me insane. Can I still grow to love him?? Though I've been unable to after almost a year.
Should move on with the new guy?? I've known him for barely two months but it seems I've known him for ages, my feelings are exploding and I can hardly control them which is making me scared.
I'm sorry for the long epistle but I had to let it all out. Please advice me.
It's possible non of the two guys belongs to you
Your ex is always naughty and doesn't respect you and the worst is that you don't have feelings for him
Your current is going for service and may start another life after the orientation
Just enjoy the moments you guys share together and start looking for a ma who is getting ready to settle down
Fly2London3Baba: Is it right for couples to have or operate jointly accounts? A couple had a heated arguement on joint account and money in the home. This is a translated video from English to Yoruba. Specially made for the family and those abroad who want to learn or relearn Yoruba speaking.
Mercychen: Yeah. There's this nairalander I became friends with some time last year or after the lock down. I can't really remember.
Hes different. In fact, the reason I replied his PM then was because after observing him for some time, I discovered he's very reserved. Writes intelligently and only visits mature sections. Religion section.
He was actually talking about a serious relationship. So we exchanged pics but what I saw discouraged me. He had the appearance of a Married man. You know that Married man looks. He called and we Spoke. He speaks so well and sounds great on the phone but I just kept wondering why he looked like that.
I told him to send a few more pics, he did but he still had that look. While I was still caught in the whole confusion, something happened.
He's been the one calling. So one day I felt, let me do the calling today at least. I did but he didn't pick. He now called and said he'll call back later. I didn't think anything of it. He called and we talked at length and all through he kept talking in the direction of marriage.
I called him another day, he didn't pick but later called and told me he'll call at a particular time. That was when I began to connect the dots. Like why does he prefer to do the calling at a particular hour of the day? I began to zero my mind.
He later called and asked me what time of the day Im free for calls as he wouldn't want to interrupt anything. I told him at nights.
He called me at the agreed time and I picked but the thing is if I call, he never picks. So one day, he called and I picked then he immediately said I should give him some secs that he needs to change location. He called back and was sounding like someone in a hole. . I asked why the background was so quiet, he said he was in the bathroom. . I let him finish what he was saying and blocked his line and WhatsApp.
Now, i blocked him because I felt he was prolly married, that was why he never picks my calls and choses a paticular time to call me to the point of hiding in the bathroom. So I forgot all about him.
He called me with another line, I blocked it again and it ended there. I deactivated the moniker he knows.
Yesterday, he sent a mail to my old account and was trying to strike a convo and asking why he hasn't heard from me in a while.
He seemed like a good guy/man but that shady character is what I don't get. I have a feeling he's married.
Should I tell him straight up what I think? Or ignore him altogether.
Philip94: I have been married for almost a year but my marriage has been 30% sweet and mostly 70% bitter because I have an unforgiven wife who is ONLY concerned about what I said and did wrong but NEVER concern about what I did right. She gets offended easily, keeps malice and give me silent treatment at home. I've had private conversation with her MORE THAN 10 TIMES on how to find a lasting solution to wherever issues she has with me instead of her constant fault finding and malice. Despite my effort, all seems like a waste coz there is no positive change at all. Lately, MY LEGALLY MARRIED WIFE TOLD ME THAT SHE NO LONGER FEEL CONNECTED AND FEEL LOVE FOR ME ANY MORE. I asked her to tell me one or more reason why she said that but her response was NOTHING. She's practically creating space between us. She does her thing alone and does not carry me along in any thing and she wants same from me. She is doing everything to make the marriage stop while I have been the one sustaining and making the marriage work out. Her parents are not helping matters coz they are not giving me listening ears and have a way of supporting their daughter by twisting whatever I say to suite them. B4 we got married, we had quarrel and misunderstandings as other couples do and said abusive words to ourselves which we settled b4 our wedding day and I assume we have forgiven and forgotten about it. But with the look of things, my wife is tied to the past and will keep remembering what I said and did wrong in the past and she allows the past deed affect our present. Sadly, her unforgiving attitude and never ending resentment is badly affecting our marriage presently. I have tried everything possible within my capacity to rekindle back her love for me & for the sake of our marriage and 3 months baby boy. I suggested that we go out to a cool place just the two of us alone but her response is NO. She even said I can go out and have sex with anyone that she doesn't want SEX for now. NOTE: I am the one paying all the bills at home coz she's presently jobless. Yet, I am not complaining. She is not stressed up as some may think coz there are helpers at home taking care of her and the baby. Please! What can I do to put a stop to this shit. It's affecting my emotion and psychology.
Honestly, leave her, you have tried, if she wants to go, don't stop her
For the fact that her parents are supporting her makes it worst
Don't chase her out but when she goes, don't bother, she will bring herself back
By then she will now seat down and discuss how to pilot the marriage affairs
We must learn to avoid anything that will affect our emotions It's a silent killer
OsilaGama: good day nairalanders... pls o bachelors and spinsters in de house,how do u cope with having just two types of food stuffs at home,. i have been eating garri and beans for the past 3 months and i'm so tired of eating beans even the aroma is tirering... pls any idea on what i can make with beans?
Thank God you have some thing to eat
Add diced carrot before eating Add dried fish while cooking Eat with pap especially at night you will sleep well
At times fry the onions in oil before putting it into the beans
discojug: Hello fam, Please I need your advice on my issue; My wife and I got married 5 years ago and she has been unable to get pregnant. We have done all tests, which the doctor confirmed that I am fine but she might have a slight issue. We have tried addressing the issue but still no positive result. The thing is I am getting very impatient and feel very unhappy when I see my friends with their family especially their children...my wife is a good woman and honestly at this point I dont know what to do. I am not getting younger and I would love to have kids while I am still very much active... please kindly advise me on what to do because its becoming embarassing at this point.
God's time remains the best in our Ives, but let's pray the time comes quickly
Your ability to be patience with her uptil this moment is not by your power, but grace of God
She will bear kids if the underlying issues are resolved
It's not how far but how well
What if you are the one with extreme low sperm count she will be with you and support you to build it up
Let's not be faster than our shadows
You can start the process of adoption while you keep trying
orohbiro: I met this guy last year at the shopping more we became an item, he even bought me iPhone pro max on my birthday he has be showing me care and all that.
But for the past 3 weeks the attention has reduce I think he is seeing another Lady he normally send me money month Ending to make my hair but he didn't send me money this past February he work at a construction company I don't want to loose him and I don't want to fight with another lady because of a man if I find him with any.
What should I do please and getting tired of the whole thing. It took him 2 months to win my heart.
Have you been playing your card well since the relationship started
Things like Respect Humility Being decent Being truthful Being obedient How is your loyalty with him
Rubyjade: My cousin sister who went to study her masters just came back home with her husband to be, she introduced him to my parents and the are making arrangements already for introduction. But, I have had a one night stand with him while he was in Nigeria in the club, in the rest room for that matter and he paid me.
Should I tell my sister the kind of man she is about to marry ? The guy did not even recognize me, I guess he has done it to a lot . BL should I save my sister or mind my business?
It's gone, forget about telling your sister
You may tell the man and remind the man of your one night with him
Drsnives: Good morning nairaladers, pls pardon my errors.
I met this girl late last year, she's nice, godly and has most of the qualities i want in a wife. i love her, though her dad is late and her mum should be in her late thirties.
Yesterday we were chatting and she was like her dad didn't do the necessary rites on her mum and hence according to tradition i will have to pay her mum's bride price to her family before i will be allowed to start her own (my babe) marriage rites. I just weak cos have never heard of such. Where i won see the money for double bride price?
Pls nairaladers, have any of you come across such ridiculous tradition or she's making it up herself cos i feel like quiting the whole thing. I just tire. Your opinions are welcomed
Modified: she's from obiaruku in ukuwani local government area of Delta State.
Well its not new, but I will suggest the family or she provides that amount needed and go to her mother's family to do the needful
You don't have to go with them because you are not their family members and you are not representing her husband, I short it's not your business its just an obstacle to your marriage plan
Her husband kinsmen will do that
Then you can start your wife marriage rites if you so wish
iamkheedah: Lad Arrested for allegedly scamming a lady who wanted to buy Love Machine for 22k
The young man pictured below has been arrested by officers of the Nigerian police for allegedly defrauding an unsuspecting lady to the sum of #22,000 naira only.
The incident which was posted by popular blog Bayelsa Storyline alleged that the young lady met the guy in their WhatsApp platform (Hangout group). The lady who wanted to buy a Love Machine (S*x toy) sent the money to the guy with that promise that he will deliver the Love Machine to her but he never did.
He has been arrested after days of investigation and at the time of this report, his mother has promised to pay back the money in full next week.
Rtk5: I went to my director's office to get something from the secretary, i met the presence of a lot of people including a visitor, so i left.
While going he called me back infront of everybody and said didn't you see me?
I answered by saying how? he said, so you can't greet me? I now told him but i greeted you earlier on while you were outside but you never answered.
Then he said that means you didn't open your mouth loud enough. I replied by saying sir, even if i don't greet you, my mind might be somewhere else, then he said why will your mind be somewhere else, your mind must always be here.
I said it is not possible for my mind to always be here sir.
That was all and the following day, i received a letter of suspension without querry. I was asked to sign the letter but i refused and i told the secretary that before i leave all my outstanding salaries should be paid to me. But they refused saying until i finish my 4weeks suspension, I refused and then threatened them with legal action.
Then I received this text today.
You displayed a high sense of total disrespect to your Boss, take it or leave it
Chef2000: There is this roommate of mine and a friend who snores heavily during his sleep.
This is not that normal snoring we experience the one I am talking about is heavy and seems like life is chocking out of him, the snore is heavy that someone living 3 doors away will hear him snoring with ease.
And this snore will begin exactly 30 mins in his sleep it may occasionally stop and then begins again, he doesn't get to hear it because he is fast asleep but it's disturbing me and makes my night restless.
He has talked with one doctor and he gave him some drugs but it didn't work.
Please is there anyone here with a useful information like the drugs he will take or something like that, lets join hands and save a soul.
It's happens mostly when you sleep, lying your back and facing the roof
Let him for the habit of sleeping facing his stomach on the bed, you won't hear any sound from that sleeping position
Jennyclay: You don't know what it takes to marry, do you even know the definition of marriage? just listen to your childish advice. Honestly I blame the op for bringing his marital issues here on nairaland for stupid and schizophrenia patient like you to comment.
Op should have seek for a professional counsel somewhere else. Assuming this case was the other way round. I'm sure you would tell the lady that "talk to him" "sit him down" "pray for him, he will change"
Back to op: sit your wife down, speak to her in a polite way.. ask her what you did wrong? She might be hoarding alot of things in her mind. I perceive both of you lack communication.
Please talk to her, I'm sure she will open up to you.
killmods: Well.. It's a case of two wrongs not making it right. It's best to leave this place happy u know and u nor go fit happy when ur the cause of his pain. Just let karma do her thing
Romance › Re: I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend by frozen70(f): 7:00am On Mar 09, 2022
. I asked why the background was so quiet, he said he was in the bathroom. 
. I let him finish what he was saying and blocked his line and WhatsApp.
.