bewov: Please guys, I have something bothering me so much, I will really appreciate it if I can get a matured response.
These might be long, but please bare with me
There is this girl have been dating since March 2021. Although, we met in University days and we have been dating since 2017, but because I was graduating and she has 1 more year to spend in the school, I left her and travelled to Lagos to work, because I got a job in a company in Lagos, immediately I graduated. I needed to concentrate on my future so I told her I want to pause the relationship to focus, but I will definitely be back for her, I promised her this. She was a virgin then!
After working in the company for 2years, I also learnt some IT skills online while I was working in the company, and I was earning cool money from it, so I decided to quit the job and focus more on the online business.
My business have been doing well and I have about 2 other virtual assistant helping me out, anyway I was kind of comfortable, so I thought of fulfilling my promise to my girlfriend. I called her one morning, and she was shocked! We chatted a bit and I told her I want us to see urgently, we schedule a date for her to meet me in the hotel, because I was staying in Lekki and he stays around Surulere, I wanted an hotel close to her house, so she can return early.
We met at the hotel and I can see she missed me so much, around 3pm I told her I'm back and I want us to continue dating and I'm ready to settle down, she agreed and we have been dating, all this happened around March 2021. Around April, I travelled out for about 2months, but I was very communicating with her, and when I got back around June, I discovered she had sex with another guy in May. Now, I wouldn't say she did it because of money, because I pay her 20k every month for upkeep, sometimes I just pay her 30k! She is not a wayward girl though, and she is not a type that sleeps around with guys back then in school, but once i came back into her life, I see a different girl entirely, when I came back she wasn't a virgin anymore, it's not my problem anyway, because the truth is I never forgot her during all those years I left her behind.
I didn't tell her I knew she cheated on me, but all I do tell her was that she did something bad to me and I want her to open up to me about it, but my girl kept on denying it, she sworn with her life, that she didn't cheat on me, that night I was shocked. Then, I didn't talk about it again till September, I gave her those months to regret her actions and confess to me, but she never did, also I didn't stop helping her financially, I still pay her monthly for upkeep. I know you will be wondering why I give her money, right? This girl was with me and loyal to me when I had nothing, like nothing at all! She was raised by a single mother and she is struggling a lot, after graduating she decided to go for Hair Stylist training, that is where she is currently. So I just give her money monthly just to stay strong.
So around September I decided to tell her she cheated on me, although it was that once, she begged, cried and told me she was drunk and regretted it, she told me she doesn't want to tell me because she knows I will end the relationship, well to be candid I love her so much, so I decided to forgive her, but since that day, trusting her was very very difficult for me. Although, I do watch her and since then I have never seen anything of such from her.
January 2022, her mother stopped her from coming to my place, she wants me to come see her first before she can allow her daughter to come visit me again. So, I went to see her mom last month and I made my intentions known to her, I told her I will want to marry her daughter and she said she is okay with it, if her daughter is okay with me.
This girl is my type of girl but, she has some behaviours that sincerely I don't think I can deal with.
She has this mindset of "A woman should be equal to a man".
She doesn't respect me, she chats with random guys and if they invite her for outing, she goes with them, even if I tell her not to go! When she visits me, she says I must join her in doing the house chores, she will say "It's either you clean the house and I will wash the plates and cook, or she wash the plates and cook, while I clean the house". And sometimes if she wants to cook for me, she will want me to come to the kitchen with her and do some works, maybe Grind pepper with blender or slice onion, if I dont, she gets annoyed, saying will she be the one to be doing all?
She did something that annoyed me this morning, around 6am today I went to the filling station to get petrol, well she knows I eat early always, maybe 6am or 7am, I would have taken breakfast, but she has never dished me food at that time, I always do it myself whenever she is around. When I got back from the filling station, I still met my girlfriend on the bed pressing her phone, I told her I'm hungry and I will want to eat Spaghetti with tomato sauce, and she replied "Baby, please cook it yourself, you said I'm your queen, pamper me na" Really? What does that have to do with you cooking for your fiance?
Well, I was annoyed, I went to the kitchen and prepared the food myself, the truth is when the food was ready, I only dished my own and ate, she said "What about her? Won't she eat?" I didn't answer her!
Aside from this, sincerely sometimes she talks to me rudely, and one thing she and I knows is that she is very very stubborn and not ready to submit to any man. Sincerely, this attitude is making me scared of settling down with her, I want to propose her this year and do the marriage rights but with all this behaviours I'm thinking the marriage will be hell for me.
When she came over yesterday, I prepared food for her before her arrival, and I served her, all she could say was "What is this? The food taste bad! Is this food or poison?" She never gave a good compliments about the meal, yet she finished the food and went for second round.
Last night before we went to bed, I told her to warm the rice and the stew, she said it won't get spoilt that she will do it in the morning, I asked her if she is sure, she said Yes. And I went to the kitchen before preparing my Spaghetti, I saw the rice is already bad and can't be eaten, I showed it to her and she was like "haaa she doesn't know it will spoil"
Also, the chicken I bought yesterday to cook her the meal, I couldn't use all, I left some in the pot, and I forgot to warm it last night, my girl saw it while washing the plates this morning, and she was like "What is this?" I told her chicken and she said "And you didn't warm it" she left it there in the pot like that without doing anything to revive it. Before I went to the kitchen to do it myself!
She only washed the plates, bath and went to church this morning, she didn't arrange the bed, nor sweep the room littered with all we ate last night. I'm sure of the message she is passing to me... "Have washed the plates, you clean the house".
Please guys, I want to propose her around August and settle down with her in November, but this behaviours are the things turning me off.
Will she changed and act normal when we get married, or this will continue? The guys she chat with, which I told her I don't like it, she replied that "She will never and ever leave them". All these types of attitudes and not showing me respect, do you think she will change after we get married or she will continue?
Please guys, I'm very confused here
All these her characters are pure red flag, it's left for you to deal with it or not
But from my assessment, she is the type that "can't come and kill herself "
Love is not enough to hold marriage Character of the person is the major point especially now that the world is galloping
If you don't like the feeling you get after eating yam, don't eat pounded yam
alanto: I always wonder, a woman will shield and protect her own children, she will leave her children eating or doing something irrelevant and then send someone else's child on errands her child or children could run for her. I have noticed that though women love and care for their children like every other animals they always find it hard to love other people's children.
It depends on what you mean by love
If she sends other children errands and leaves her own children, that's not hatred probably she fees those ones are more matured for the job
Women loves children irrespective if who gave birth to who
So far you are a mother you will live them all, especially at children level
If a child comes me that he is hungry I must give that child food Wether I know him or not but if I refuse to give him food, then that's hatred
Quitam: To the lawyers/political scientists/... in the house, I have been in a dilemma for a while on the issue of my state of origin. I was born in Lagos and raised in Kaduna. My father was born in Niger State but his family lineage is traced to Kebbi State. My mum was born in Kano State.
Ever since we were children, we were always told that we were from Kebbi. But our relatives there have become distant as our family has grown large in Kaduna. I've been to Kebbi only twice to meet some relatives. However, I don't feel 'at-home' like when I'm in Kaduna, eventhough the elders there tell us that it is home
Right from primary school, I've been using Kebbi State as my state of origin and I currently work with it as a civil servant. Lately, I have regurgitated the thought of acquiring indigeneship from Kaduna, where I know best.
My questions are: 1. Is there any way I can officially change the state of origin or will I need to resign my government job? 2. How do I change my status in other documents like primary certificate, admission letter etc?
I look forward to your advice
If you are very sure that people of kaduna will accept you and you will be entitled to any share and inheritance
Meaning that you and your future generations will become indigenes of kaduna state
What about your siblings, are they in the same page with you or you are solo on this
Are your parents still alive, if yes, how do you want them to embrace this for life
If you are sure that there is a family in kaduna that will accept you as their son
Let them process a paper of adoption for you through there state social welfare and from there you will be recognised as their son and you bear their surname
But don't denounce it later as you will be seen as a nuisance
Secondly you still have an existing family in your father state, identify with them but still settle down with your wife and children in kaduna
Thirdly, marry from kaduna and your inlaw will adopt you if you declare to them that you want to be part of their family
sasview: I am just curious with the disco tariff on energy consumption, if one is not careful the cost of buying energy will be competing with rent. I have seen apartments that share prepaid meter and all parties involved agreed to only use energy /light during the night or weekend, so they disconnect from disco during day. I was like there could be a better way to manage energy consumption. If you have an alternative way pls. share and let's benefit from it.
The tariff is going higher every quarterly, so I told my husband that from January he will be recharging the prepaid
Since then he off the security lights in the compound once its 5am, he regulates the freezer when to on and off it
Before, he wastes light and leaves light on, now he makes sure that if you are down stirs, he will go up and off your fan
Even stabilizer lights are off unless you want to watch Telly and you must be there watching it or you off it
I left that part for him to know the pains on the bills of running electricity on a 5 bedroom duplex
Since I handed over electricity bills to him, am happy with the ways he is monitoring the prepaid
Hamachi: My cousin who got married last year July is actually thinking of leaving the marriage because the husband was diagnosed of kidney failure and needs a transplant. The summary of the story is that the family of the man is expecting the newly married wife to donate one of her kidney to the man because my cousin is biological match to the husband, she and her family has said LAI LIA O, that his their child and they should find a way to go about it. After dragging this issues for some months, my cousin family are pushing her to file for a divorce
A. Would it be considered wickedness on her part considering, his not only the husband but PARTLY trained her in school too?
B. The marriage is less than a year no much money to even look for a seller, Aunty want to japa and leave the man
What do you think?
For the fact that he is her husband he partly trained her in school, let her not divorce him but stay till he gets a transplant
If she doesn't want to donate her kidney, no one should blame her
It's her life and her kidney
They should look for a donor the mistake she made was accepting to go for a kidney match test
englishmart: Assuming your wedding was scheduled for Saturday, and you caught your fiancē in bed with ANOTHER woman, would you quit the wedding or go ahead?
I will not say anything and I will continue with the marriage plans
That's alone will put more fear into him
Even if we get married and he wants to mess up outside, you can't stop a man from fucking out
annyplenty: Mothers, which one do you actually consider more tasking and challenging; Pregnancy or Nursing of babiy, especially immediately after delivery?
I pray that God bless those couples that are waiting on Him for children with their own children and help mothers to nurse their children in Jesus name.
Share for Pregnancy Like for Nursing
I prefer nursing baby immediately after birth because it comes with joy of having your child in your arms
No matter the stress of nursing a child after birth, once the child sleeps, you too start sleeping that's the only way you will recover
But being pregnant comes with some discomforts and being unable to eat certain foods and do certain things
I will make this as short as possible. Before marrying my wife she seems to be this very generous and accommodating fellow . I felt fall in Love with her because this is just the kind of partner I want,
I have not really stand very well financially, though comfortable and contented, but I have this great dream of, because of what I pass through to help as much people as I can. While dating her, she told me all kinds of stories of her philanthropic and generous gestures to people.
But moving forward to today, she seems to be direct opposite of everything. She detests people coming close or we offering any kind of help or assistance to family both hers and mine not to talk of friends.
What about suggesting to assist a relative that can't afford, with their child education na war We have not born but I have more than enough space to bring one or two children to see them through school but my wife is not buying is at all at all.
I know who I am before I marry, this is the only thing that gives me joy, and my only reason for asking God everyday to bless me so that I can bless people.
But right now am seriously confused it hurts me alot but I don't wanna force anything against her will.
I have tried discussing it over and over with her but she is still not buying it, with the excuse of that we have not stand enough to carry anybody .
What could be her reasons and What should I do?
That's her nature, but she pretended to tell you that she is friendly and accommodating so that you will see her as your match
sheanzy: I don't care how beautiful your face is, how succulent and big ur boobs, are or how big your waist is.
A lady having a potruding tummy is a big turn off for me, especially Nigerian girls wearing tight gowns with they belly potruding like a python that just had a big meal. I
I can't imagine my self being with a lady that doesn't have a flat tummy
So if your wife gave birth and all what you mentioned that are primarily caused by giving birth
Tfrost21: Hey Fam... Name's (****) I'm just 21 but i would clock 22 by April.
I graduated December Last year from Olabisi Onabanjo University as a Botanist.. Despite having 90 percent of my friends as Yahoo boy's, I never joined them to do fraud... Although, i always try to do it but within 3 days or maximum of 5 day's, I would stop it grin . I don't know why
Now, I'm back home.. Back to the trenches grin.
I'm tired of eating and waking up everyday In my parents house...
[b]Now, I'm thinking of what to start doing, Starting a Blog or settling for Graphic designing?/b]
Or should I just leave the house and hustle anyhow, joining my friends and ignoring my parents because at the end of the day, it is my life.
My parents are over protective, till now, I don't even know my real behaviour smiley ... I think I should explore.
Throughout my 4 years in school, I went from home... I did not rent an apartment near campus... I used to be an extrovert... Maybe this was part of the reason why I became an introvert..
I remembered I left home recently, and my Dad was threatening me not to return, but I was like who wants to stay in his house before... I booked an Hotel and the next day, I went to stay with my friend with the mindset of not going back home..
My parents found out that I wasn't even moved by their threats, they began to beg me to come back home, still I declined not until one of my senior cousin whom I respected so much begged me to return home...
So I returned on the 4th day..
I don't know what to do.. I really don't wanna stay at home no more..
Advise me in regards to everything I poured out here.
Thank you fam
You have to plan on where to stay and how to feed before living home to run uoir race as a man
Seat your parents down ams let them know that you have to change location to start hustling
You don't need them to be quarrelling with you to achieve what you want
They are your parents and loved you more
Give them peace and they will pray for your successful life
It's mid night and heavy rains and I hear the sound of glass breaking and my car horn....
Picked up my phone touch and a stick, ran straight to my dad's room to get the main door key, opened his room door; and boom.....I saw @$@$$#@$$2@#$_@.
The really annoying thing is that I froze for like 3 seconds with touchlight in hands (wasn't with my glasses so really didn't see well) until my mum screamed at me to get out.......I feel so embarrassed and how do I get that image off my head......
It's my bad habit of not knocking before entering that put me in this situation but you can't blame me......am in my 20s and have never seen my Nigerian parents intimate with each other plus I was raised in a semi Deeper Life family so am sure you understand how shocked and embarrassed am currently feeling.
Just had to share this anonymously on Nairaland probably to get it off my chest......
You did not Berge them intentionally
Go to them and let them know that it was an emergency rush as you heard sounds and wanted to know what's happening outside his car After that tell them you are sorry
iKON11: I'm 31 and my friend is 34 years. Lately we've been having some issues over the above topic. I don't know why but he takes so much pleasure in sleeping with girls he's far older than. Like 18, 19 years old girls (very tender girls).
Anytime I complain about this, it becomes an issue. He even think I'm jealous of him, in fact he told me today to stop been jealous but frankly I feel very embarrassed anytime he brings such girls to our gathering.
We are new in this area but people have already taken notice of this and its even rubbing off on me now.
The funny thing is he doesn't even feel any shame or remorse about this.
He settled for that age because those age groups are easier to lure and deceive with just words or penny gift
An idiot who is shameless has no remorse
But try to separate from him so that the day they will give him street justice, you will be spared
Triangles1: Ogun Ogun Ogun Ogun....... Ogun Ogun Ogun Ogun Ogun Ogun Ogun Ogun Ogun Ogun Ogun Ogun Ogun Ogun Ogun Ogun..............
Ogun...... Means War Ogun...... Means jazz Ogun....... Means 20 Ogun....... When something is long Ogun means a lot of things in Yoruba both in evil and good, may be they should change the name to Abeokuta Abeokuta just like Gombe Gombe, Jigawa Jigawa.
My thoughts too, they should change the name of the state
legge4: We have few sexual experiences until we married. A few times my then-girlfriend climax, the foam was always wet. I thought it was something that will go away with time. So I overlook it. 6 months into the relationship, I decided to do what was necessary, and we became husband and wife. From wetting the mattress in the hotel we stay for our honeymoon which results in us having little quarrel to now having to be a daily experience when we make love. I have to stop having sex with her. I seek medical advice but I was told there is nothing that can be done. I left the house to a friend's place where I go to work. My wife is an angel but how do I sleep with pee after lovemaking. How will I be changing the bedspread almost every day? I can't tell my friends what I am going through, and nor can I use my main moniker. Please if your wife squirt, how do you handle and live with it. I have a second thought of seeking for divorce so both of us can have peace of mind. I don't waste all that wedding money but I will be losing a good woman.
For the fact that you said she is a good woman, you need to help her out
Let her wee during romance and before penetration
Get a markintouch to lay on the bed over its like a nylon
Let her foam the habit of empty bladder before love making
It's natural with some women
It's not a diseases but in ability to control urine
Try not to stay too long on her, it triggers the bladder to pass out urine
tolakush92: I wish to inform the entire nairaland house that my dad celebrated his 80th birthday In a low key atmosphere with close friends and families
Happy 80th birthday Elder Sijuade Ladipo
Help me wish him well and pray for him
May we all live long amen
Cc: Lalasticlala Mynd44
Happy birthday to your dad, may he age with good health
Abujaexpress: I was really baffled by what my heavily pregnant goat did yesterday.
Actually, we have been keeping the goat and she put to bed early last year, a he goat or kid which has grown since them. We use to keep and confine both of them indoors untill the goat and it's kid started showing the crave to step out and hustle to feed and play/mingle with thier likes. We started letting them out in the morning and by evening time, both will come back home and even if they meet the gate locked, they will be using thier limbs and heads to scratch on the gate as notice to us, until the gate is opened for them.
But gradually, they will go out and not come back home, untill after maybe several days, before you will see them. From days of remaining outside, it turned to weeks, while we were always keeping close watch on their whereabouts. Infact, the day I went out searching for them, immediately the she goat sighted me, she ran to me and followed me home while the kid later came back home to join the mother.
What actually shocked me yesterday was that, for over three weeks, the goats have been away from the house, but surprisingly on Wednesday morning, the pregnant goat came home, this time around in the morning, scratching her head and limbs seriously for the gate to be opened for her. Since it is unusual seeing the goat in the morning and because we were going out for work, my wife wanted to send it back to the fields, but the goat refused to go, instead it entered the compound.
We left for work and coming back home in the evening, lo and behold, the goat had given birth to two bouncing kids, hale and healthy. This really baffled me that a goat could know that she was in labour and she had the sense to come back to the house to give birth!!!
Honestly, when I got home, I have to clap for the goat. She gave me reasons to believe that goats, if properly cared for and tendered, can really act reasonably like human.
N.B. I will upload the picture of the goat and the kids later, when I get back home.
That's a wonderful goat there
They all have instincts and they obey their intuition, Unlike human beings that will argue with themselves first before deciding whether to obey what their instict is telling them
They all behave like humans just that they don't have rules and regulations guiding them
losak9111: Don't kill yourself because of high standard of life without high level of cash. This my wedding cost me less than twenty-five thousand naira (#25,000). Simple dress, the one I have on my hanger, The best thing is that am happy with my wife. In fact, no food, no even pure water and no cameraman I used my phone. Na only thank you for coming
You would have given us estimates of your traditional and church wedding let's believe that it was really economical
Registry doesn't even need to cost anything, just come from home with your witness already there waiting for you, then go home from the registry with out giving them any refreshments
GloriaWisdom9: They were both in the same university,the same level and the same class. This guy happened to be in a relationship with someone else, but when he set his eyes on this other bae, he gave up the relationship and started dating this new girl.
Everything seems to be moving really fast they were already in final year in school, they seem to be in love with each other, she really wanted to be engaged in her final year, you know how it feels when you graduate with a husband and a certificate that was her goal.
Oh boy watsaap. ... this dude wasn't making any move towards engagement because he likes to do things on his terms, he felt he wasn't ready for that sort of commitment.
Months rolled by, and nothing happened except the usual hangout, chit chat, partying, so she got an idea to get pregnant for this dude which she did. Little did she know that that was her undoing because he was already making plans to leave the country which he did two months into her pregnancy to get his master's.
The baby has long been born he is not back and not even talking about anything of such.
What can she do. Lovey Dovey.
By Gloria Wisdom Isheke
If she is truly sure that the pregnancy belongs to him, she has to find a way and inform his family
The guy may not have thr interest of marrying her but at least let the family know that they have a child somewhere
Kelvin2022: Good evening guys please what I am about to say might sound childish and stupid but I have to say it. I am in a relationship with a girl and we have been dating but she hardly give me sex for a month. I had to have sex with my formal girlfriend and during the sex I recorded it background video recorder. I even record order of my girlfriends. This current girlfriend I had to record her changing clothes for months and save the videos. I even screen shot each movement in the video to make a good album. Luck ran out me I gave my memory card and delated the videos in it because she wants to watch movie. I save all her pics and other girls in an app called galleryvault. After giving her the memory card for days I realized that the pics in the galleryvault can't show because I didn't delete them in the vault and it became visible. Yesterday my girlfriend visited me i was tensed I begged her to allow me to use the memory card, she refused, she notice something only for her to go through my SD and found all those girls pics I recorded and save. She was so disappointed at me and she walked me out. Ending the relationship I begged and told her the reason but she didn't listen. Please what do you suggest I do to make her trust me that I will change for Good?
What's the essence of those dirty pictures you created
How could your girlfriend ask for your memory card and you have forgotten that the memory card keeps memories
How much is memory card that you could have bought one for her
Agriculture › Re: How My Pregnant Goat Surprised Me(pictures) by frozen70(f): 3:51pm On Mar 13, 2022
