₦airaland Forum

kyber:
A girl I just met few days ago online just messaged me today…
Well just like any normal free day,I was down for a calm and Informal chat..only for her to tell me she’s not fine ..

(Pictures below)

(In my head)
Normal slang when they want to bill you
……………….

I tried to avoid asking her “why?”
so I asked her something else,I asked her if her admission might be the reason for her sadness…I even tried asking her about her school stuff but she still ended up billing me !!!

I pushed further by asking her if she has a boyfriend but she doesn’t and she refused to tell me the reason why.

What do I do now? Cause I feel for her though
This is not the first time a girl would ask me for an urgent 2k but …

Where are the legends in the house ?

What do you think she is up to?

Is she one of those urgent 2k girls?

If you can afford to give her the 2k give her
Let's see what her next request will be
She may be stranded and in need of it

If she forms a habit of requesting all the time then she is a lazy girl

Jayzx:
Over the years I have been trying hard to go into relationship with the opposite gender. But I discovered that most girls nowadays are very difficult to understand. I don't know if their is a particular hormone in them causing them to be like that. You can never predict them. They will seem to love you today and in few minutes ignore you. Guys in steady and stable relationship how did you do it maybe you can give us some hints. Note: I always try my best to satisfy them

Take it easy and gentle with any woman it will give you the opportunity to understand her

OGBEREIJEBU:
Stright to point

I am 36years old. Many years ago after NYSC, I have no Juicy paying Job that can enable me to marry. I was in a relationship with Ugochi from when she was 20 until 28.
Age was not on her side so I being a nobleman advised her to go ahead and marry one wealthy middle-aged man 41, that was asking for her hand in marriage.

The pressure to marry him was too much from her friends and family. I had no juicy Job, could barely eat, pay bills and have a chance to even drink and buy clothing.

I had to make sacrifices for her, so 5 days to her wedding, we agreed in unison to meet for farewell and farewell F@@k.With frustration and Heavy heart I ca..me deep inside her Four times. Gave her money for drugs (White quinine or postinor 2), she rejected it and promised to take care of it herself. I went to her wedding, eat, wished her well and left. Cried all night and moved on.

Her hubby took her to Abuja.

Now I have a good job. I am building my house and I have a car. I am extremely comfortable now.

I got a call earlier this year and it was Ugochi. She was desperate to see me.
she travelled down to Lagos to see me.
I wasn't comfortable so I talked her out of coming to my house. We met at an eatery and she came with one handsome little boy.
I ordered Food for them and then my biggest fear came.
She said her husband found out the baby is not his and sent her packing.
She informed me the baby is mine.

I was shocked and I had to tell her I am squatting with someone, She and xxxxxxxx left for Imo State but before then, I denied and I argued, I went defensive.

The problem I have now is that I am planning my traditional wedding in August 2022 I have a presentable fiancee I love way too much.

Now, I can lie to the world but I can't lie to myself. That Little boy looks like me and has my pointed nose. Facially, it is glaring He is mine but I don't love Ugochi again, I have moved on. I love my fiancee so much.

How can I handle this situation?

You are making it look difficult

Do a DNA test and if it comes out positive, inform your family, take your child or let her keep it but take care of his finances

As for your future wife, just let her know now what's happening am sure she won't mind and won't want to leave you unless you insist that you will marry Ugochi as second wife which she won't accept

Bring out the matter to your family's, you may settle Ugochi to find her way

Worst case she will remain your mistress till she gets married

Omicronvaccine:
https://www.instagram.com/p/CaecvOvrxIS/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

That's not true,

So the church went to the police station get a police to chase him out of the church

Stop lying

Wazobia2216:
do you know what he will marry

If this one is asking for N10, do you know if the new one will ask for N1,000

He will marry another one right

Children of today, must you lose what you have before you cherish it

SMH

If you read the question that brought my comment, you will understand that, the statement says, "what if the woman remarries" and I said if so then the man too will remarry,
So if the man remarries its going to be either good or naughty person that he will meet

edunaragold:
. I go with you advice sir

Thanks dear, am a woman, I don't support a woman over stretching a man

Winneygirl:
Which mistake is that??
Somebody opened his eyes wide and deliberately impregnated someone, and you are talking about mistake??
Abeg abeg abeg!!!!

Is it new to you that when men pregnants women outside, they say its a mistake ?

Badboibipo:
There is something I recently noticed about women, they hate being ignored more than death itself! I swear I only just realized this, they prefer you to insult them than ignore their total existence, it’s their worst nightmare. Guys that give women attention throw away the only power they truly have over women which is to ignore them. Do you know why women chase after successfully men? Because successful men ignore women and that drives them crazy! The same with good looking men, the reason women are always after them is because they ignore women and so women go crazy over that, and will do anything to get noticed by these men.
Chasing women doesn’t make you a king, it makes you a SIMP, a man no woman respect or values, they see you as a cheap man and there will be nothing special about you.

Women will literally start crying if you ignore them long enough especially when they want you, and the minute you give them that attention your value drops and they get bored and start looking for the next man who ignores them. Their gender is very slow mentally and behave like fish so that’s why their termed fish brains, if you truly want your honor as a man ignore women and see how you become a celebrity in their eyes. Trust me I’m talking from my own personal experience. The female gender brains think a man who’s successful and ignores them equals a celebrity, guys do this and see how u become Jim iyke in 24hours.

Na you go tire
One day a woman will do you stronger thing
Just one day
Keep ignoring them

internationalman:
Yeah.

They will be like "promise me never to fûck another girl with this dîck"

I usually promise and end up breaking it in the evening of that same day.

You are a character, Lol

absingle:
I need answer

What kind of promise do you want from her, is her moaning not enough promise

Wazobia2216:
So what if she remarries Will you go and live in the new building with OP

If its her choice to remarry then the Op to will remarry

edunaragold:
To be brief, happy Sunday everon
,indeed marriage is a blessing but has it's ups and downs,
MY wife left to east angrily ,and without thinking the consequence of tomorrow, she left ignorantly as money no dey flow again somehow ,but am not saying she marries me for money sake OK,but she is impatience and ignorances,,but somebody somewhere may be remotting her as she has no dad,,now am all alone,this is a woman I paid all and married before white and traditional igbo marriage before touching her, so money were no longer flowing like before and we had ups and down, while the house rent increase skyrocketly and I decide to build my own house ,since then I have not know peace .pls ladies in the house,is it bad if become a young landlord, would not my wife be a young landlady too.


The problems is my wife thinks given her the money for business would be better than building. She sees me as a wicked man, she has relocated back and non of her families has called to ask what is going on,pls mothers ,and great men,was I wrong in building, or should I have taking that money to established my wife,knowing full well that once the house is half way ready I can get few tenenat to rent and use that money join another cash to support her business. The worst part is that I have stop building just to favour her ,I send few of my business profit to her while my uncomplicated building with things I have paid for still lies in the hands of the sells since 6 months now,only coming to repay my rent again.

(1) Pls should I stop sending her money ,so she will learn her lesson to be patience if owu done blow her,she may return with the kids ,and use that money to finish up the building in 5months,just a 2bedroom flat ,and 3 extra self con
Or

(2) should I abandoned the building and keep sending her money at the other end,while I wash my plate,Cook by my self , wash my cloth, and still act as a gentleman ,and snurb the temptation of looking outside since she don't cares any more. And when a woman leave a man house without a good reason or violence, mothers and ladies we all know the wife has left an open doors for another woman .meanwhile another more beautiful lady is knocking and conjeee dey hold me each time ,bit I kept saying the devil you know is better than the angel one don't know .

Congratulations on your building project

Pls continue building your house as building materials goes up every day

Those materials you kept for 6 months in someone shop is no longer what it is now

As for your wife, so far you are not the one that chased her out, she will come back and by then she will start reasoning with you

jaszplus12:
I'd always loved her even before she was born. And when she came she was my third offspring.
Cute at birth and she grew up with great love and compassion at everything she did.
As a girl child I'd always expected her "firsts" especially growing to from child to preteen and adolescence...
About three weeks ago she came to me and told me she's having cramps at her lower abdomen...I was slightly dazed cos at 12 I least expected she'll begin to have these experiences. But I guess we don't know what to expect!
I was both excited and unsure...I prayed she was prepared for the new phase of life...
Today, just got back from work and I was informed she's menstruating!!
Again mixed feelings!
Well...I just said to her...now you're truly growing up!

I'll love to hear from everyone about how they felt when their daughter told them about the first menses! Please let's share!

You have a good relationship with your daughter and she got your back and confidence

Good job

LilMissFavvy:
I used to think issues like this should be a daughter and mom kind of thing, maybe I'm wrong.

Some father's are close to their children

Children needs who among the parents that will have time for them and give them audience, so with this they can tell you anything

mbahdi:
Life no balance,u dey drive jet ride range,ride benz n porsche,na 2002 muscle toyota u come give ur sis

Be appreciative for once

Your type is even stingy

goodlistener:
At bolded, already done that, she only responds when she feels like

Ohh dear, just be calm and nice to her, some women are just naughty because they have some powers with them and that power is finance

hismylolo:
Glory be to GOD Almighty! I received intensive care and treatment at LUTH and I was placed on hemodialysis and given several blood transfusion and later was placed on blood boosting medication. Last time I had dialysis was in March 2016 and I have been freed from dialysis and I am now able to do things that I love doing and also resumed back to work before the end of that same year. Initially i lost hopes and I thought that I was going to die simply because my case was very severe and my blood pressure was very high, blood sugar levels was low, creatinine level was very high, BUN (blood urea Nitrogen) level was very high, PCV ( Percentage of Cell Volume) was extremely low, but Thank GOD for my life today. I didn't do a transplant but I took caution, i listened to the health workers, i avoid some certain foods, i adopted a new lifestyle, i do adequate medical check-up, takes my medication accordingly and completely avoid self medication.

Am so grateful to God for your life

eglobalcafe:
Hello roommate, please I need advice on my marriage please, I should have ask this questions to people around me but I don't want them to use that against me later, that's why I prefer to come here and ask this question anonymously, please help me,

My problem is, I got married 3 years ago and me and my wife have been finding it difficult to get pregnant, we went to hospital and it's hormonal imbalance, we have tried and it's still not working and we were advised to come for IVF, which will cost me 1.5m,
Please note I b met my wife as a virgin.
I love my wife and I have never used this pregnancy issues against her like making her feel bad or insulting her, rather I have been the one talking her out of depression because of this child of a thing, am confused because am getting feed up, my mother said, na God they give person piking, and we should focus on herbs. But am getting fed up and my wife loves me so much, same to me but whenever I see my friends who are not even married shows their children or visits me I get weak and pained same as my wife. Am Confused and my mum always tell me this, do what you need to do at this your early age so you won't suffer when you're old so you have children to take care of you, am 35 and my wife is getting to 30 this year. My wife is so jealous, she said she's greedy when it's comes to her husband that she doesn't want to share me with anyone. And she said if I want to get another wife I should let her know so she can goto her father's house, I never told her I want to marry another woman but due to she can't give me children now makes her say all this . Please help me as I have the urge to impregnate another woman just because I need a child. Please those who are married help me. I wish to be patient with her till God bless us. But me and my wife not happy. We are doing well atleast conformable and she does not lack anything.

Medical conditions can trigger any time in a human life

You married her a virgin now look at how things have turned out

Instead of both if you staying in pains because you don't want to pregnant another woman outside and she does not want to share you with another woman

Why not try adoption
Start from there and if along the line, you made a mistake of pregnanting another woman, at least she will have a child to keep her warm

But I also believe that if you patiently work towards her getting proper medication she will be fine, but it doesn't stop you guys from adopting even if is a baby girl

goodlistener:
Since my elder brother died last year, his wife has tremendously reduce all my aceess to finance. He was our bread winner, never wanted to come public but my conversation with his wife now just pissed me off.

She is delibtatly blocking our access to funds.

Mum has been sick. I told her since last week.

She manages his business and has refused to send the monthly agreed money for 3 months now.

I heard she just bought another car on Tuesday

The truth of the matter is that, both of you guys with her never had a good relationship and now your brother is late and she is now in charge

Remove your pride and walk to her to find out what the problem between your family are and get it solved

A person that has the control of money has the power to misbehave

You guys knows that you don't have the money so why fighting her

psalmz:
Asking for a friend and colleague,I have a friend who is in a relationship with a man,has a baby for him,her dad recently passed away ,and they gave her the condition that she must be married,that is dowry has to be paid for her to play her role in the burial rights of the father,according to them ,they said it’s because she is the only child,on traditional ground is it compulsory,asking to know if it’s true

Nonsense, that same tradition if true should have made the father who has only one daughter, forbids to die until his daughter's dowry is paid

Eastside22:
I'm not too worried about myself, been staying alone since my 100L. My major priority is my mum

Encourage her to get one for herself

CandyOps:
This story is funny sha.. but I'll be brief.

So I met my current babe 4 months ago. She's cute and fine asf. Let's just say she's a spec

The only issue we have is she's homeless and broke and I'm not looking at settling down at the moment. To put it mildly, we like to say she's having accomodation issues.

she came for NYSC in After which she started squatting with friends and got with a guy she wanted to marry but it didn't work out. So she left the guy's house and have been working sales-girl jobs that offer accomodation alongside.

She quit her job & had to vacate the room.

Now she wants to keep her luggage in my place while she figures out herself. The thing is, there's no time limit on how long it'll take her to find a place because she's short on cash and I don't have spare cash to help her rent a room with.

Now here's the 2nd problem,

She has always told me from Day 1 that she's looking for a man to get married to. And she don't believe she is with me. She says I'm not serious. She says it indirectly at times and I think it's because her Ex bought her a car and opened a store for her while they were together.

She's a great person and someone I would have loved to settle with if I was financially capable.

She moved in and stayed with me for 2 weeks sometimes last December when she had issues with her female friend where she was squatting but I had to send her packing because she was rationing the sex with me.

She will give me today and remind me we're not married the next time. We always have a fight about that because I don't like to be sex-starved.

I mean, I'm providing almost everything for her. She has no reason to.

She left my place to her male friend's place who had 2 rooms and stay alone but she had to leave the guy because she said he was too possessive. And the guy was ready to settle down I think.

Luckily for her, she got accomodation at her new job but the place is not manageable. Too much mosquitoes. No fan and no mattress.

She even begged me to stop calling her so she can move on but we couldn't stay apart from each other.

Once again, she had to quit the job.

Now she is looking for where to lay head while she finds an accomodation. She got a new job too 45k. It's poor and she can't get a house with that salary in Lagos.

I stay in a mini flat so no spare rooms. Besides, I don't want a repeat of what happened the last time when she had to pack out of my house angrily and created a scene.

I believe she already lost that privilege.

I found a place for her to keep her luggage while she sleeps in my place but she's feeling bad because I didn't let her to keep it in my place. So she said we should move on..

As we speak, she has refused to come into the room. She insists on sleeping in the sitting room because she's trying to break things off with me and wants to cut off some things that will spring up more emotions.

I understand but it's tiring. I just tire!

Me, I don't want to keep someone in my house who's homeless. I mean, it's just like marriage na

Besides, she no de even give me BJ she say she will only do that when married. She doesn't have relatives in Lagos and don't want to go back to the East.

I just weak!
My guys no dey even make matter any better by calling her 'our wife' anytime she's around.

I never buy car yet and my business is young. This is my 3rd year in Lagos. My buisness revenue is roughly around 2.5 million monthly (net) not enough to buy a car pay rent and stay afloat

How do I end this? and still be friends with her?

She has demonstrated to you that she wants marriage and you are just beating about the bush

Be a man, seat her down and let her know that you are not yet settled to go into marriage

Tell her that in two weeks, you will appreciate she gets a better place to stay while you can continue your relationship

You are not capable of keeping her in your house for long

How and do you think you can do for some one her boyfriend once once bought a car for

Ask yourself, can you afford her

You will be playing prank with yourself until she becomes pregnant that's when you will see your two legs inside the river

2buffagain:
A close friend of mine is about to marry an Ijaw guy. He doesn't have much going for him yet (New to Yankee, no Kpali), but as always, no condition is permanent... at least this is her hope. She however is doing okay and I guess loves him enough to support him through this claimed-temporary period of his life.

However, Many people recently have been saying that it is a cultural norm for Ijaw men to depend on their wives for their finance and feeding. I have heard this from old Ijaw men. I'm thinking only losers would proudly mention such as a cultural norm

This is the first I have heard of this and I don't think my friend would want to end up with a man in the future who thinks that way, especially when she is already handling so much financially. Can anyone shed more light on this?

What are the chances of an Ijaw man who grew up there, maintaining the status quo of feeding off his wife even after promises of changing the situation after settling.

Is this a true cultural norm amongst the Ijaw?

NO INSULTS please. mature responders only.

Then this will be marriage with burden

What's the need of rushing the marriage

Let her calm down and watch if this guy is the lazy type or the type that wants tradition to take pla e in his life

How can an able man be comfortable being fed by a woman because of one stupid tradition

What if the woman leaves him at a certain period of the marriage because she can't cope won't the man be useless and hopeless at the same time

sheldonbbt:
I got married sometime ago, we had a child 2021, after the birth of my child, more than 7 months ago my wife and I have barely had sex up to 3 times. We are still young and this bothers me alot.

I have jokingly said it, I have playfully pleaded with her, gotten angry but this has not resolved anything.

I love sex and was once an acute masturbator, this is driving me crazy because I do not wish to go back to it.

Also, I do not wish to visit a brothel as they are everywhere around us. This is making me regret ever getting married and I am frustrated.

You hva not settled down to find out what drive her sex drive away

Nursing a baby and doing house chores with out any help from you is enough for her to reject any sex offer from you

Women are like poultry that needs attention and attendant all the time

The more a man goes close to his wife and assist her in house work especially the more you create a bond between both of you

The connection will be strong and you can get a quickee in the shower or the kitchen or just any where in the house because you play together always

Women can stay without sex but men can't realy stay

Seat her down and ask her the way forward

The more you get angry and mad at her the more she becomes stone cold

If you like go out and have fun, she is not bothered because there is no synergy between you guys

Now tell me isn't it time to start preparing for another child, so how will that work with the above gap you mentioned between you guys sex life

T0T0fucker:
2019 I own a car, lived in my own house fed for myself and support my family.
but life happened, 2021 I was forced back to my parents house in the creeks, since then they the ones supporting me.

but what I noticed this year is that, they want to kill me with talk.
comparing me with other children, using my flaws to curse me up and down.

it's like the once bread winner of the familie became a sand and ants in their eyes.

back then 2018, everything I had I took it for granted.
my financial freedom I took it for granted, right now I got tears in my eyes.


my parent' literally killing my self esteem....yes I try to be strong by quarreling with them sometimes but deep down I feel the pain within me.

I that use to buy bag of rice for the family, droping 20k every week for them.
but now am reduced to nothing...

So you don't know that once you can't afford to keep your home or parents, you will be subjected to all kind of humiliation

You made money earlier but you were just careless with it because you failed to plan

All you have them to eat then are in the soakaway so it's not relevance any longer

There are no better life I. The creek unless you want to be a useless militant

You need to move out of where they are and go to town to find your bearing

On the is second journey focus on how to establish yourself rather than spending on them to impress them

You are a man and you can't be under their roof forever

Your peers will see you as a no man

Goodvibes8:
Good evening NL's, hope we're all having a wonderful 2022.

I'm an intelligent, smart and hard working guy. I'm not really an introvert because I do visit places.

The issue is, I always prefer to be an assistant than to be the Leader. Infact despite been good at what I'm doing I hate taking the Lead. Another thing is...If I work as your asst. and I'm doing my job very good, I'm fond of diverting the thanks and gratitude to you (the boss).

During my Nysc 2019, I was elected to be the Financial secretary in our CDS but I declined, I said I would rather be the asst. Fin sec.

I attend Winners, last sunday (1st Sunday) our senior pastor called out new excos that will be running the church affairs all through this year and to my greatest surprise, I was privileged to be the Head of technical unit.

I rejected it, I met with the pastor after service, He said I should write him a letter stating why I don't want the position and why I also chose to be the assistant, then if i convince him enough, he will reshuffle it.

Despite been a graduate in Accounting, I'm also a good sound engineer, Infact I lecture even graduates in engineering how to set and control sound (Pls I'm not bragging, I'm Jst telling you how serious the issue is).

I don't like Leading. I don't know if it's normal.

You don't want to lead simply because you don't want to be accountable

If you are very sure of yourself take the lead and it will guide you for life

Responsibility is given to responsible people

Iamfedup:
To begin with I am 22 years old this year and this man has been dictating my life ever since I was born............. He is not worthy to be called a father, imagine this man sent me and my mum out of the house at 9pm in a very silent street just because "I didn't barb my hair" and said stated that until I barb it I will not enter his house................It is not as if he is giving me any money for anything, my mother literally does everything in the house from feeding down to buying ordinary battery for wall clock, he prefers to drink and fornicate with anything that wears skirt just to say the least........I am just fed up I don't have any control over my life and don't know what to do anymore.

You have a job to do here to free yourself from that man

Study hard get admission or go and learn a skill

With this you won't be seeing him all the time

Any man that behaves the way you just describe him will definitely suffer at old age because he did not plant the seed of love in you

As for your mother, she will be fine soon all she needs is your love and support, she must have been through hardship

nwekeugochukwu:
More

They should just give him raw acid mixed with snipper and then burry him alive

Iyaebe:
He should go and rest,let him first go learn how to govern his own family and also learn how to respect women especially his widowed step mother Drs Mrs Seinye Dumo Lulu-Briggs

Honestly, he couldn't organise his father's burial talk more of organising a crazy state with radicals

HardMirror:
religion produces stupid people. Look at the nonsense a grownup man is writing and accusing his wife of. You ladies are also guilty. Why I dont keep religious friends, very stupid people

You can remain in the shrine, it's ok too
You will meet unbelivers and stupid people like you there

Leave God for those of us that believes in him

jacoik:
Amongst the whole comments, it's yours I found sensible

Acknowledged with thanks my dear