₦airaland Forum

SensualMan:
Apart from frozen70 all the people that commented are one person. Alternates of the Op. All accounts opened same day with just one or two posts. You are not so smart

SensualMan, learn to mind your business

Oyindamolah:
From DM "am a married man with 1 child. I love my wife we have been married for 3years but my wife has attitude problem to the point where I have begged her to stop and she refused to change.

I met another lady 4months ago she is single. I did not tell her I am married, we started dating and she loves me. She wants me to marry her. She has all the qualities i need...infact if I was not married I will marry her immediately..(she is innocent). Right now I want her to have a child for me.

When she finds out I am married she will be very heart broken. But I cant let her go I really love her and want her to be mine (when I say I love her, it is real not infatuation)

If I have my way i am ready to have her as a second wife if that is what it boils down to.

I still want that baby and she is ready to give it to me because she believes we are getting married.

What should I do?"

Isn't it better you tell her thr true story of uoir marital life and the situation you fine yourself

That won't stop her from saying yes to you

That may not stop her from getting pregnant for you

That alone will make her trust you for telling her the truth instead of lying to her and she finds out

Women don't forget things especially the one that hurts her

She is the kind of woman you want but if you keep it secret and pregnant her and get married, she will never trust you and you may likely have another problem with her making you to have two wives but in more problems with thr one you love most

TosinTeesax:
That's true. Moreplex tv is doing well. I really enjoy their picture quality and everything. Nice one

Tell me more about it and how it works and where to purchase it in Lagos

WisdomDannie:
Good evening Nairalanders,

Please, I have been thinking about this lately and don't know how to go about it.

I have this very loud neighbor who always likes staying in my room most of the times.

Well, I'm not complaining about that because I need company sometimes..

But what I really cannot put up with him is the fact that he likes flirting with numerous girls and always talk about them.

He can chat with a girl for a whole 8 hours and not get tired.

Even right now, as I type, he's in my room at this time (11:11 pm) and has been talking with a girl for over one hour.

And I get pissed off with that because it irritates me. Like he can come as early as possible in the morning to gist me about his latest hit.

I want to tell him to reduce his visits to my room since he doesn't have any sensible discussion asides from women.

But I don't know how to go about it, so I don't sound rude.

Please guys, how do I go about this?

P.S: I would be grateful if this makes the front page. Thanks!

Have you ever ask yourself the purpose of your relationship with him

What have you benefited from him or what has he learnt from you

That means you too you are as idle and free like him

Both of you should get yourself busy, especially you so that you won't always be around to accommodate him

Oyindamolah:
MARTIAL BED.

My wife says no sex until her mother leaves our house.
FROM A MY COUSIN:

I'm happily married with two young kids ages 2 and 4. We stay in a 2-bedroom apartment and usually leave the connecting door ajar so that if the kids wake up during the night they may have access to our room to seek comfort, which is very frequent especially during these noisy thunder storms.

My problem started with the arrival of my mother-in-law, less than a week ago to spend 2 months. Of course, she sleeps with her grand kids in their room.

This doesn’t stop them from frequenting our room during the night, so the door is still left ajar. Much to my amazement, my wife has now told me that she will no longer allow us to copulate during the time her mother is with us. She said her mum scolded her and feels we are rude to engage in lovemaking knowing fully well that she is in the adjoining room.

My wife has always feared her mum so it is impossible for me to convince her that this is her house, not her mum’s. I don’t see myself going one week without sex, talk less of 2 months! Is it my fault that the bed creaks or that my wife has to make noise at her height of ecstasy?

I feel that my mother-in-law is being very intrusive and insensitive and I’m prepared to talk to her and ask her to leave if she insists on tormenting my wife, but I know that my wife won’t find it funny at all.

What should I do?

For peace to reign between you and your mother inlaw and your wife

Tell her to stop making romance noise and bring down the foam on the floor if you can't repair or replace the noisy bed

But it's very bad for your mother inlaw to be eavesdropping on you guys

Does she wants her turn ?

Kestolove:
Igbo people

Nonsense, an Igbo who gets married to more than one wife, is just a crazy fellow

Igbo people practice one wife unless some bad situations can make him marry two but not three

Besides, their father's properties are share to the children not just the first son

Aostle:
I am married with one kid and another one on the way. I do two weeks in and two weeks out job and I earn 200k per month. We live in our own house and my wife runs a boutique business in a store owned by us so she doesn't pay rent for the business. We have constant electricity free of charge so we cook with an electric cooker. The problem here is I give her 50k monthly to take care of the house while I settle every other stuff including stocking the house with bag of rice, groundnut oil, palm oil, medical bills, cable subscription, school fee, clothing, etc and I also bring provisions and toiletries when I am coming back from work yet I get complains of the feeding allowance is not enough month in month out and I am getting fed up. She knows I am doing a building project yet I keep getting complains. Pls, advise me, is the feeding money not enough?

You have tried, let her take over the feeding allowance while you keep up with the ones that you have been handling

You can't kill yourself because I did not read where you said that she is playing a particular financial role in the family upkeep

Let her feed and let that be her contribution to the family

zedegit:
Kile wrong ni. Which boss will ever admit being wrong?

That's why he is your Boss

If you can't work under him, walk away by resigning, instead of being sacked

Valenjay:
whre are you coming from?

Palm Grove

Valenjay:
abule egba lagos

Chai

Ayobiggie59:
I just feel like I'm dying slowly....

I've been having this persistent chest pain for two months now and I've been to the hospital but im not okay with their diagnosis, it's just as if I was scammed.

Chest pain at d left part of my chest with my left arm affected with d pain also.

When I read about it online, I saw it was Angina that has these symptoms I'm feeling currently and it's getting so unbearable for me.

All d money with me has been used for d previous test I carried out, d doctor dont really have time to attend to me well, imagine only one doctor attending to 100 patients.

Right now im broke and can't really go for another check-up, it just seems im dying slowly. Can't tell my mum cos d news can make her health worsen.

Someone told me to get a drug called Nitroglycerin that it will help, still trying to look for money to get it. Pls, how much does it cost pls if u know d price?

I'm just 30yrs.

You must have been depressed over some things that are already affecting you and it will continue until you shut that thing off your heart

In other words, forget about your worries and you will be ok

Eat less at any meal and take enough water and fruits

There is no particular illness wrong with you but if you don't help yourself, it may lead to stroke because your heart is over burdened

nickyj19:


What happened was there is this girl i have caught several
times staring at me anytime she passes by and today she
took the courage to ask if we have known somewhere
before and I said no.
From the look on her eyes she wanted me to continue
from where she stopped by being friends but I just walked
away because I have decided to be an alpha male.
I really feel bad what can I do?

Why are you feeling bad about what you don't have interest off

You want to be an Alpha male so be what you want to be

Infinix1000:
I am in a very bad state of mind right now..
I am a graduate but no job is coming forth, I tried to travel abroad but was scammed by visa agents.

Due to the lack of jobs in the country, I ventured in creating something for my self on the block chain technology and since then I have been seeing small small things to keep body and soul together .

My father is pushing me to the wall seriously, he always lays courses on me that I don't want to do what other kids in my village did to make money and buy cars ...
That I am a fool, he said small small boys that are younger than me have all given their parents grand kids while I'm wasting away my time.
I came to him some time ago to get some loan for my block chain project but he gave me a heart breaking response.

He is always bent on why I don't want to do what others are doing to make money and marry that I'm a disgrace to him and my self.

Now what he normally does is anytime I visit family house to seey mother, he will start coursing me that I can never amount to anything in life if he is the one that is my father
That since I don't want to join my age mates and make money the way they Make money that I shall shall never amoint to anything in this life

I have had it up to here, instead of my life moving forward it's now moving back wards

Please guys what do you think I should do. To Stop him from coursing me, I'm tired of dying in silence ..

My mother has begged him several times to stop laying courses on me but he keeps doing that ..

I have lost it honestly , I need serious help so I don't do something I might regret later

He is equally stranded as you are stranded with the way things are

He is after you making money irrespective of how you are going to go about it

Every problem have solutions

Whenever you visit your family and he curse you, go to your mum to cancel the cures immediately in his presence

After that, stop visiting your family, you can arrange where your mum can meet you to show love and care to her according to your capacity

At times we need to stay far from things, to know if that thing is the major cause of our problems

Younext:
Good day all

Why does our African culture make us believe that parents especially mother's never make mistakes. They do things at the detriment of a child's mental health and when he or she retaliate it becomes an issue, an issue not for the parent bt for the child, everyone points their fingers to the children and leave out parents and their roles.

Seun RoyalRoy FP pls

Just to preserve respect for families and parents

Valenjay:
2 units of The giant ox fan is available for grab . Works perfectly and still hanged
Reason for sale : standing fan now in use
Price :10k each

Intrested buyer should dm .

Where is your location and can you reduce the price let me take both of them

Juliusdaughter:
Thank you so much. It is a promise to myself, I will be the best possible friend to my children. I see few of my friends that has this genuine friendship with their mums and I wish I have that too.
My siblings and I are really cool, we are all still young and we love each other.
I love my husband but I'll try to keep any information regarding him far from my mum, the little my mum knows about him is what she keeps using against him, I hope her several downtalking him will not make me react in a negative manner towards him as time goes on. He's a good person.

That's good to hear

Don't ever confront her, just ignore all her display of hatred, so that she won't say you insulted her

Am glad you are far from her

Emuf:
I have noticed this uncontrollable rejection Anambra men have towards Imo women. Hardly can you find an Anambra man who is indifferent about settling down with an Imo state woman. I saw this during my days in Awka and it was so obvious. They don't even hide the rejection.

Anambra men, why do you find it difficult to settle down with Imo women?

Their marriage rites are the problem they have, that's why you see them getting married to Yoruba men who doesn't understand how it goes

All they know is that they are married to Ibo women

Oyindamolah:
Good morning Familanders!

I lost my dad a few years ago. It's been very difficult but we having been pushing through. I am in my early 20's with 5 sibling.

Dad left some properties for us. I happened to be the first female child.

Property 1
Is almost completed to decking level no windows and doors. It has not been plastered or floored, JUST sand filled. We currently occupy group flat in this property.

Property 2
Is an uncompleted building with roof.

I have my mum with underlying illness and 5 siblings to cater for.

I currently work but the money is not enough to to even complete the current abode or property 2.


Please, What do I do?

Discuss with your family so that you guys can sell one property to sort yourself out and complete the other building

RichGal:
Hello everyone

Long post alert.

I feel like I'm burning out. I have been married to a guy I think I'm crazy in love with for 6 years plus. We got 2 kids.

I have been solely responsible for the bills, I mean every single bill. From houserent, to school fees, to car maintenance, to feeding and toiletries.

I have been very patient with my husband cos I'm not a materialistic woman. I really don't attach much value to money, it's just a tool to achieve required stuff.

Here's the issue. My husband is an unambitious person with no personal goals.
When we were dating, I always pushed him to achieve more and I felt since I was the ambitious one, I could always motivate him, so long as he was willing to be motivated.

But now, after all these years and two kids, I AM TIRED.

My ATM card is mostly with him, all he knows to do is spend, spend, spend while I work, work, work,plan,plan,plan and save, save, save.

I feel he has no understanding of responsibility and he has become so comfortable with me wearing these shoes.

I always have to push my personal needs aside and think of the family first.

Now I'm at a point where I'm just waiting for the kids to be grown and then I'll leave him. I don't even know sef. I feel emotionally neglected. I feel resentful. I feel all these things cos I can't walk out of this marriage cos of my Christian beliefs, my children, and maybe cos a part of me still loves him.

But, I feel myself growing apart from him daily. Sometimes, I feel I would have done way better if I wasn't married to him. I feel burdened.

If I could have an affair to maintain some form of mental stability I would, but I can't. I think he knows this so he feels confident that I ain't going no where but I'll shock him.

I'm just tired of taking care of everyone without being taken care of. I keep pouring out and giving

We look like the picture perfect couple. We are both very attractive, young looking and have great chemistry but that's all there is to it.

I can't even remember the last time we both had a meaningful conversation on an intellectual level cos while I'm all about self development, dude is all about whatever he is all about.

I really don't know. I'm really sad and getting to my threshold.

Don't worry every problem have solutions

You actually spoilt him by doing all thinking, he will take up from you but he was even more comfortable the way things are as you actually gave him you ATM card

So he knows your financial movements more than you

Is not yet late to adjust so that he will understand life better than the silver spoon that you gave him to feed with

Go to bank and block that ATM,
When he complains tell him that your account was queried and after that, either you stop using ATM or you restrict it to yourself

Ask him what he wants to do for his life to get better if he didn't respond then that's a red flag that he wants to be idle and not even a house husband

Start saving for the rainy day because it will definitely rain

Start planning for your self and children so that you can save enough for their future education

Since you still have a portion of love for him, you don't need to leave him, enjoy his warmness when need be and still plan

By the time he doesn't have access to your account and money again he will get broke and that is all he needs to sit up

As time goes on, he will start thinking of how to become someone

Juliusdaughter:
Growing up, I never got the chance to have that emotional bond or connection to my mum. I remember her constantly talking me down in her own way, showed me in a subtle way that she loves my younger siblings more.

I am all grown now and nothing has changed, she is someone that has no control over her emotions. She seems to be in a good mood now and before you know it she's in a bad mood and transmit that to people around her, me in particular.

I have prayed so much for the day I'll leave her house and God answered my prayer. I relocated abroad few weeks back and I thought that would be enough to put an end to the emotional trauma. I got off the phone with her earlier today and her talks were full of insult.
She keeps calling me and my husband lazy, asking why we are the only one that hasn't gotten a job yet, she sited an example of someone that relocated around same time that I've gotten one. She won't stop spoiling my mood.
I have tried so much to build a relationship between us but it keep falling on dead end. I am her first born and I remember she doesn't quite like my dad(until he died and he left her properties), I don't want to start going into many details of how I have come to the point where I have eventually zoned out of any connection with her. I basically now see her as just the woman that gave birth to me, I cannot relate when I read sweet stories of adults that have genuine relationship and friendship with their mums.

Has anyone gotten to this point with either of their parents? What do I do? Is it okay not to feel any emotions towards my mum?

You have tried to love her but it wasn't working from day one

So the best thing to do is to move on and keep moving on

Base on the above, you must as a matter of fact love your children so that they don't experience what you went through

Then be watchful because, those your siblings that she loves more, will want to get informations about you and pass to her

Live a quiet life and keep your good news to yourself

Loves uoir husband more and his family because they may be the one that shows you love

As for your siblings, if you can help them when the ask for help

Pls do, if it's something that you can do

Ishilove:
He is in faraway Finland causing havoc and his supporters are obeying like cattle.

One day, he will be picked up and his case will be worse than kanu

He is insighting troubles

zedegit:
Please I discovered long ago that I am very temperamental and don't like being shouted on especially when I know I am in the right.

I usually flare up at my boss for shouting on me and this doesn't seem right although it is true bosses shouldn't shout at their employees.

How do you cope with this at your workplace?

Your Boss is your Boss and you don't have to shout back at him no matter how sincere you are

All you need to do is go back to him later to clarify yourself

By the time you do this severally, he will discover that he is the one that is actually wrong not you

ProphetofOdin:
Hi,
Please I will try to be brief as possible as i can.
I work with a firm that sells construction equipment, and head the logistics and warehouse department. I have this junior colleague that has been with the company for 8years(long before i joined cos i have only been there for 2+ years), he is experienced and good at his job.
But yesterday i caught this guy trying to steal two pieces of 70ah batteries, it really broke my heart because he can not even sell this things for up to 100k. I have tried everything in my capacity to make sure those working under my dept enjoy every benefits that are due to them; from hazard allowance, overtime, and so on. I sign all this allowance without asking questions even when sometimes some of them are questionable. I was doing all this so that nobody has any reason to steal and they have small change to augment their salary.
Personally i hate theft and frown at it and they all know it cos i keep preaching against this at every meeting, and if i escalate this to the management at the HQ in Lagos, he might be sack without benefits after 8 long years and he is a family man.

Though I have scold him and told him he would hear from me by Monday morning, the truth is given the situation I don't know what to do with this guy.

I am really confuse cos i don't even know how long he has been doing this shit.

Since he is working under you, if you cover him, you will be seen as aiding him

If you report him, he will see you as being wicked

Ask for his transfer up another unit and let someone with good character replace him

With the above, he will still retain his job

samuelson06:
Hello, can 16mm be used to build a 2-storey building?

Yes

Ndlistic:
Property gurus in the house, please, how long will it take someone that saves at least 400k - 450k a month to complete a 3 storey building in the South East?

Let's say land is already available.

Again, would you advise build own personal house (duplex) first or build a 3-deck house for rentage before building own personal house?

Thanks.

Note: I Said savings, not earnings. Thanks

Don't save the money, start purchasing materials of you are serious about building

The idea of going for a three storey building looks like a white elephant project

Foundation of three storey building is approximately 5 million because you are going to use 22mm rod

Start by pricing 22mm rod and 16mm rod per tons

BadNews:
Source: https://www.lindaikejisblog.com/2022/3/28-year-old-nigerian-man-jailed-for-raping-woman-in-the-uk.html

Stupid man and he will be deported after that

JonOfAustrlia:
Do you know any married people who use condoms abeg �

Lots of married people does, especially if they don't want pregnancy at a particular time or period of time

JonOfAustrlia:
My wife got pregnant again even with an IUD. We werent planning for it. As these babies are so small and require so much care already.

Its not like raising them in the village. We live abroad and we dont get help. It means we always have to be with them if not for daycare but then we are working. We are already so tired.


I dont know if I am venting or asking for advice. We are grateful but we are so tired already... what to do...?

Who do we blame if not you

Since you don't want condoms then be ready to have unplanned pregnancy's

You are lucky that you are abroad

Continue

adaperry25:
We have asked him this and no coherent response.
I'm just afraid of his safety.

Forget about his safety, he his more careful than you are

schweinsteiger:
Thanks for the insight, hope it won't obstruct anything on a long run, my wife, my children use my first name as surname.

I don't know if that person is lying but she told my woman that someone had problem about travelling or some sort because his family bears his own name as surname.

The person might be lying though, cos this is not topic people usually discuss or talk about.

Of what relevance is it with to question any body why her husband chooses his name as surname

That's why I says your wife and children can bear any of your three names

I did not say they can bear your wife surnames

adaperry25:
My dad is late and I am the first son. My younger brother attends a private university and it's been from one academic problem to the other.

Long story short, he got out of school because his set and 2 sets have graduated and he's still in school. We suggested he starts afresh by enrolling him into another school but he refused that he wants to collect transcript and go to school of his choice. Collecting transcript is a herculean task as the school will give you difficult protocols to provide.

He went to my uncle's place, stayed for 2 weeks and next thing said he's travelling to a friend's place. We told him not to go anywhere but it fell on deaf ears.

He's been stubborn and its affecting the whole family. With the insecurity in the country, I'm just afraid of his safety.

It's now obvious that he doesn't want to be in school neither does he want to further his education

Education is not fir everyone, so he is finding it difficult to cope

You guys should seat him down and ask him, what exactly does he want to do in life to stand on his own as a man

If he says he want to learn a skill go and make research about the skill and take him to where you think he can be monitored to learn the skill and be regular on it

If he has no answer for you then leave him to wonder about until he gets his senses

Such people can set you back if you keep pulling them up

He may want to be living stupid life.
You can't be with him all the time leave him to enter police wahala and that alone will reset him

He may want to be doing yahoo yahoo leave him to go ahead, so far he is making good use of it

schweinsteiger:
Have been wondering what could be the implication of my family adopting my name as surname instead of the current surname i bear,

Maybe in international scene, when traveling, work or even within Nigeria in legal standpoint.

Any input will be appreciated.

There is nothing wrong, absolutely nothing wrong if you want your children to bear your name as your surname

It's a good idea if your wife bears such name along with them

It's a way of identifying your own family and that's how your own lineage will grow bearing that name from generations to generations until anyone of the grand children decides to follow uoir Footstep in that manner

Your wife and children can bear any of your three names as surname, so far the name appears in one of your three names