₦airaland Forum

MufasaLion:
This is all wrong!

A man was beaten because he had sex with a widow? Did he rape her? Even if it was his late brother's wife, beating him is trash. I hope we all get enlightened enough on how to deal with things in this country.

The only crime here is that he defiled an underage girl. He should be reported to the station for that.

He can do whatever he wants with the window, no one cares but for defiling a minor he deserves the beating and more of it

Badboibipo:
How can a person have over 300,000 Naira and still can’t afford any descent house? How did we get here? The first time I moved out of my parents house In 2018 I literally rented a house for 40,000 naira a year, and it was a room self contain in delta. Today there is no single room self contain below 200-250,000 naira, and that’s even the ones in rural areas, anyone in town is from 300k and above, and yes just a room !!! Wtf is happening? I’m so worried about Nigerians, am I the only one facing these issues or is every one so rich they can easily pay 300k for a damm single room apartment

Cost of leaving have created problems for those leaving in a rented apartment

Just pick the one you can pay conveniently all hands are not equal

NotoriousBiggyS:
My elder brother who is married have a side chik who is from anambra state. I have so much love for my elder brother wife because she's such a good woman. My brother use to call this gold digging anambra girl so much that he tells her everything going on in his nuclear family affairs even in my present I feel jealous about that because I like his wife so much that I feel like telling the wife about this. Will it be bad or good idea if I expose this mothe*fuc*King gold digger of a girl to my brother wife before she breaks her home?

If she breaks her home, be bold enough to blame your brother

Meanwhile, stay away from his affairs

His wife will dig him up one day, all she need is just a clue

As for your brother, that lady or woman will wreck him soon then he will learn a lesson

calcal:
As a Nigerian, you got to impress your neighbors and live the way they want you to live.

Yoruba saying "JE KON MO" -"LET THEM KNOW"

When you leave your life to impress people at your expense and discomfort

What have you achieved doing so

joyandfaith:
How can someone who married with 2 kids to go and marry again. I dey laugh. I dey League of married men. I did court wedding. I know a number of couples who married in court without support of their relatives without any issues. Go and read requirements for court marriage.
I would advice you to discuss this with a lawyer for a better understanding.

Did you pay bride price

tonylaw07:
Good day everyone. I lost my girlfriend on Wednesday due to diabetes which she took for granted. Since her death my life has not been the same. I can hardly concentrate. Food hardly passes my throat, its only alcohol that has been a little helpful cause it makes me sleep a little.
My friends have tried talking to me but its not working. I am really depressed. All the memories we shared are everywhere I turn to.

Sorry about the loss of your dear friend

As it is now, you have to allow her to rest in peace so that she too will separate from you, if not you will find it hard to move on

She is gone and you can never see her again, pls bear this and rise up

isholak21:
Hello nairalanders, I want you guys opinions on this issue that's really bothering my mind tonight. pls accept my grammatical errors.
There's this my neighbour that has now turned to close friend cux we really talk a lots about things. The guy had a baby towards d ending of last year from his new girlfriend & they are now together. D issue is that my guy & his babe are both black including their parents but their daughter is pure white with no iota of resemblance with both parents. I don't really see anything wrong with them having a white baby until today d guy came into my apartment looking for me but I was sleeping in d room & he sit with my wife & started talking to her about having doubts about his daughter wder she belongs to him or not to the point he called his mother in-law at d presence of my wife but the woman was all defensive according to my wife. He said there is this white man that frequency their apartment & his wife shop & he suspected he might be d biological father of their daughter. This guy had same issue from his previous marriage to the point he caught his ex wife sleeping with another man on their matrimonial bed.
Please what do u think is d way forward for him or what kind of advice sud I gv him about d issue. I don't think he afford DNA test for now.

DNA or nothing

He must have toyed with people's wife in the past, how come his first wife was caught red handed and now the second wife has a prove of infidelity

Well the truth will come out one day

joyandfaith:
What is wrong? With your registry certificate, a married woman is entitled to all properties of the late husband. It is only husband WILL that overrides that. In Traditional setting, family decides on inheritance and court can't do much on that unless children are minors. Also, embassies recognise only registry certificates for immigration purposes. Traditional marriage is not a requirement for court wedding.

Go and marry first then come and explain to me if you pass through tradition to court wedding or you kidnapped her and took her straight for court wedding

I have given you an assignment

joyandfaith:
You can marry legally without approval of your parents, siblings or other relatives. That is court wedding for you. Court wedding can only be dissolved by high Court while customary Court has power to dissolve traditional wedding. surviving spouse can use registry marriage certificate to claim properties of late spouse in the eye of law. In traditional marriage, customs are observed in sharing inheritance. Surviving spouse especially wife has no say. That is why it is advised Court marriage is best for intertribal marriage.

You got it wrong

Court wedding makes you to be identified as a married woman in the society and documentation purposes

Traditional marriage, identified you with people and families you are going to be long and get a share of inheritance because you are now a member of their family

Well you can take your wife strait to court and wed her if she doesn't identify with her family and traditions

Centrallock:
Lots of stuff comes with experience and i believe you are married and experienced. Most Spinste's hardly reason this way.
I am not in support of the said young man it's a terrible thing but i believe solutions and dialogue is the key to every problem..

You have said it all, I was judging from maturity and experience as a married woman

I don't blame the young ladies outside because they see life as a filtered picture

So by the time they get into marriage they start seeing it in the real picture

KIDfurniture:
God punish u for mentioning church wedding .. sorry I just vex sa fools still Dey Nigeria

No wonder you are serving God's punishment on you

joyandfaith:
Court wedding( registry) is greater than traditional wedding. Nothing likes church wedding in the eye of the law.

How is court wedding greater than traditional

Are her parents in the court when you met them to inform them about your intentions

Is it possible you just marry her without the witness of her kins men and family

Obynolee:
He must have done his traditional marriage I guess,there is nothing like "church marriage", no church in Nigeria has the power to contract a marriage,only two laws guides marriage (custom and The Act) what church does is to celebrate a marriage (which is optional).

So far it's done in the church and officiated by a priest

assholemods:
Fulfill all righteousness by wasting money.
Is it a must to do white wedding?

You are getting it wrong
So may people are married without even court or church wedding

But they all have its relevance place in marriage

sylve11:
sensible comment.......

Thanks

Centrallock:
Jesus who are you?
I can't actually believe a lady wrote this..
Kudos

Lol, we must always say the truth no matter how hard it is to accept it

Stenewiser:
is not about cheating, she didn't sleep with the cousin when the started dating, real guy don't feel proud about a relationship the know their much younger relative had carnal knowledge of their partner, I can't do it even for love, so this how guys think.

That's why I said that it's now in the past

Stenewiser:
you girls think differently from we guys and you always feel nothing is wrong with whatever you girls do, my dear we think differently, if you don't get it forget about it.

Then how do you think we feel when men cheats

Loewe:
I put my faith above tradition so I would chose Church wedding anytime. As for registry, na only certificate I need, not a big deal.

So meaning that you will just take some one daughter without the knowledge and drink to her family, that's what traditions stands for

Church wedding is for God's additional blessings

Registry is for proper documentations

So all of them counts

Klassic01:
I just found out they've been dating for sometime now and sex is involved as well. I got info she do sleep over at his place sometimes. She's barely 19 and this guy is 22.

I feel hurt and betrayed. I haven't confronted either of them yet, because I'm so angry this Sunday morning. I did some investigations and my source is truly right. I haven't spoken to her this morning to avoid stories that touches the heart.

What do you guys think?

End their relationship if it's something you can do

They are too junior for such nonsense

Pareyz:
Over the years, i had always admired Jane, a girl that lives in my neighborhood. She's extremely beautiful, the kind of girl I liked and wanted in my life. Any time I saw her, my heart would start to race, and my lips would begin to quiver- i just couldn't summon the courage to
step up to her and tell her how I felt about her.

However, in the last quarter of 2021, i decided to man up and make an advance on her. She didn't hesitate to accept to go into a relationship with me and i became very happy. It was like a dream come true.

Two Months into our relationship, i discovered that she had sex with my cousin long before I met her. A boy that I'm 7 years older than. When i asked her about it, she admitted to have had sex with him. This is a girl i love so much.

Right now I'm totally broken, I don't know what to do. I'm just thinking of breaking up with her.

What if she lies to you that sge never slept with him, would you feel better

Go on if you love her
Draw back if that is an insult to your person

After all, it's in the past not present

BegAt40:
I don't take them anymore. I'm in love with my mental problemS.

Congratulations

WeAREallPERV:
Me and my gf have been dating for almost a year. We are often active in sex but i always used a condom anytime we have sex. I love her a lot and i dont want her to get pregnant because both of us are still young & am still serving... But recently whenever we are making out in bed she wants me to put it in without a condom even if it is just for a few seconds, but i always said no because i really do not want her to get pregnant because i know all the precum and stuff. It has happened quite a few times recently but i kept on saying no and we end up using a condom.

I'm afraid i can not satisfy her satisfaction in terms of sex and she may want to break up with me.. ( is there a chance that she would get pregnant if i put it in without a condom just for a few seconds just to satisfy her??

You think women are called women for nothing

She knows her game and the rules to follow

If you can stand on your feet and insist on using condom, if she can't stand it, then let her be

Your plans are different from her own Intensions

Loewe:
Church, Traditional, court- not all 3 are compulsory. You can do 1 and go to the registry to get your certificate. Not until you and your spouse enter embarrassing debt.

So which one can you do and leave the other

Mineralzz:
Hello everyone.
Am an active member on this forum, I've have my main account but I wish to remain anonymous, i just want to hide my identity and i will deactivate this account as soon as I get a solution. I'm so heartbroken right now

I thought my fiancée was different from every other guys, despite his gentle and innocent face I never knew he was a liar and a cheat

He's fond of connecting his laptop to his smart TV (65 inches). What displays on the laptop automatically displays on the smart TV screen. See what happened, he went downstairs to pickup something, So I wanted to see a movie on Netflix, while I was looking for a suitable movie to watch, a message popped up from Facebook and it stated "Whr are U? Check ur phone...6 missed calls

At first, I wasn't triggered to open the msg but what drew my attention was the "cry emoji". When I opened the msg my heart melted, I was crying . Their secret affair has been going on since April last year. A married woman with 2 kids, I checked her profile I saw her kids and husband photos everywhere, she has visited my fiance at home several times, I saw lot of romantic messages.

I videoed their chat conversations as evidence, thank goodness his TV screen is wide enough for the blind to see. The moment he came inside he noticed my mood has changed, he was smart enough to know I opened his msg. He's started begging me, he said he can explain. Explain what?

Am on my way home now feeling devastated, heartbroken and sad . I plan to upload the video on Facebook and tag all the woman's friends until her husband sees it. I will also send the video to instablog, Linda ikeji.. Honestly I feel dejected and heartbroken. Help I don't know what to do .

Mynd44, seun, lalasticlala.

Even if you tag his girlfriend family, it's your man that is the issue here

You should have listen to him and hear what he have to say about cheating on you

Men will cheat either by nature or by default

Be ready to accept him back, counsel him and let him know that sleeping with a married woman has a reversal effect

OneCorner:
So a friend introduced me to a dating app recently due to the fact that I don’t go out much, I’m kinda shy in public places and it’s less stressful than walking up to a lady and doing the old school “toasting”

Fast forward to Wednesday, while liking the pics of girls around my are cuz it has to be a mutual like before you both can talk unless you pay for premium... so I came across my “Ex” profile
According to her profile, she’s single and searching. Well, I liked the picture and by yesterday, she like mine back also, which is a mutual like. We chatted and exchanged number again and with the way she’s chatting, I feel she’s up for whatever I bring up

So my question is that, is it reasonable to
get back to date an “Ex” I met on a dating site?
Or
chop her and pass
Or
Lookaway

You don't really want to upgrade
Keep doing the same thing

What about traditional and church marriage

Was it the same 10 people crowd that you gathered or they were more

The way you arranged your marriage is the way people will attend, you are not doing it to impress anyone

But to fulfill all righteousness

BegAt40:
I always challenge myself to get better at things I do. So I challenged my self to mastu-rbate for 5 straight hours around 10 years ago, that was the last time I ever tried that deadly-pleasurable thing.

At around 4hrs 45 mins, I started to shake and few seconds later, I became stiff and I couldn't breathe; everything turned blank. I recovered after few seconds and I resumed duty once again so I can make it up to 5 hrs I intended. Oh boy, just few seconds after resuming duty, I started to feel that same way gradually again. I just sharply commot hand, wear clothes and left my apartment. I booked a flight to another country to keep me busy and I was able to knack one flight attendant the next day.

Why not take your rehabilitation drugs daily instead of skipping it

fineboynl:
The mistake I made was too costly.

I rented a shop to open a business and I never take the location from my house to the place into consideration.

I spend more than 2k alone for transport and feeding alone. I never check other daily logistics.

Every month I pay light bills, security bills and all others.

And the said part nothing is happening in that place. The rent is so big and I regrets every moment of it all as I was warned early not to go there. My account has been deplated. I thought it was God purpose and God can bless person anywhere as the shop came at the time the money was there. But right now everything is now so clear for me to see. Some people have abandon there shops.

I need help as I am bleeding. I am spending daily without getting Anything. Debt on my head.

This is what is called learning curve

So right now you are at the curve

Abetterperson:
I don't really fancy married at all, it as to do with my upbringing I never grow up in a stable home and I found happiness when my parents were apart rather than together. I really don't like the idea of marriage because I see it as a cage, mind you im not totally against it I just think it wouldn't suit me, I never grew up in a family home so I don't know how to build one.

A guy asked me out and I agreed only on the condition that we wouldn't get married, he refused saying what's the point of the relationship if it wouldn't lead to marriage, even though I don't like the idea of marriage I do want to feel loved and wanted, I still do want kids and some sort of companionship, as crazy as it sounds I just want a baby daddy, I wouldn't have a child with him because I want to money, nop I'm already trying to establish myself, I really want to be financially independent so as to take care of my kids
Now the main reason I don't want marriage is because of my Independence, I don't want to answer to anyone at all and I know it will be difficult if I'm married to someone because in every marriage there is a level of dependence that is needed to make the marriage work, whether you are a man or woman u don't just do what you like especially when there is a child involved, secondly I'm thinking about the emotional stress my kids will go though if the marriage doesn't work, I don't want my child to grew up with memories of dad beating mum, mum shouting at dad, mum throwing a knife at dad and incase I do divorce I don't want my child to be in a state of depression, thirdly most Nigeria men treat their wives as trash, I Know what I'm talking about they don't value their wives, some see them as property other than an actual human being, some think of their wives as house maids and will refuse to do anything in the house or even allow the woman to get a help, some are also serial cheaters and don't see anything wrong with cheating because as they put it "I be man". Now I know that some women are equally as bad but I'm just stating my concern as a woman after all I'm not going to walk down the alter with a woman by my side.
So that's all I need my Independence, stability and control, people are saying I will regret but I really think it's for the best for me, I feel like I have a lot of time to think as I plan on having children at 28 but I don't know if my opinion will change then.

I'm I stupid for not wanting marriage?

All the above reasons you gave are exactly what makes up a Nigeria marriage

You are really scared but for how long will you come out of this thinking

What you need is a man that will give you true love and that may change your perception about marriage

While you wait for such to happen, enjoy yourself and go into a relationship

In this Naija, every thing is trial and error

Babsojimjim:
Dear all, permit me to use this medium to seek for mature and experienced advise...When a wife out of her own wish without any current justifiable reason seperates from her husband for almost two months and has now decided to return back with the kid out of her own wish without any pressure, should the man accept her back? Also should there be conditions attached before the man can accept her back? Mature and experienced input is highly appreciated. Thanks all.

Are the woman's families aware that they were separated through out that period

What exactly is her reason for separation

To me the best option is for the man to ask her to go and bring her parents and come with her

No one knows her mission