₦airaland Forum

Abetterperson:
My long time crush recently came home big, he brought with him the lastest cars and accessories, I was shocked because this guy is in his late teens.
He saw me one day and offered to take me out, me I nor gree because I nor one die, I Neve reach to see my ancestors, his source of income is still unknown, I ask his sister she claims he caught one big client and that's how he made his money, I was like big client, as in Yahoo! She reply yes that Yahoo(fraud) is really favoring him. His family all think he is a Yahoo boy but the thing is that one of his friends that hustle at the same office(fraud hangout) is no where to be seen, rumor as it that the guy refuse to do ritual and was killed because he knows the secret of their wealth, that guy family are still looking for answer but sadly the police are not helping, they are busy collecting money from my ex crush.
My ex crush family are all standing tall saying that the devil wants to use people to destroy their happiness.
Just last week my ex crush invited me to come to his Thanksgiving in CHURCH, like what is he thanking God for, for helping him Carry out his crimes. The pastor is not helping matters, why would he let that guy do Thanksgiving in his church, a money from the devil is going to be presented at the alter of God.

Please is this ritual thing even real because people are calling the guy a ritualist

Simply run for your dear life

If you don't know any ones source of income, you may be used for a renewal

You can start withdrawing gradually from him and his family

Trust no one pls

Belial06:
First of all, the most important thing to consider in this before making any decision. To be able to advise you I need to understand whether or if . Okay tell me this....
Are you beautiful or ugly ?

You have passion for education so you realy want to plan and get dusted before getting married

The only challenge here is, I'd you resign, how do you sponsor your self go for masters that is related to your course of study or your field

Talk with your school management, if they can consider adjusting your teaching times

Before you go ahead with your masters, make sure that you have a regular income no matter how small it is

ZALA64:
Good evening dear Nairalanders, I have a story to share with you and I will appreciate your candid advice

I have a junior sister of about 21 years of age, finished secondary school in 2019, tried gaining admission but didn't get eventually, also did A level but at the end, there was nothing to show for, this isn't cause she is a dullard but something Sha must end up something, she applied for another A level at Unilag, and was pushing through not until the news of her pregnancy came in, she was two months gone when I got to know, I really tried to persuade her to abort because I was concerned about her Education and our parent feeling but she insisted and I allowed her take her decision, we informed my dad and mum then the big issue starts, right now my dad does not want to have anything to do with her, she is currently living at my dad's junior brother house

The most annoying part to my dad was that she got pregnant to a Christian which my dad would not approve of, even when they tried to talk to him multiple, right now, he does not care if she exist or not, all he knows is she can't live under his roof anymore

I am the elder sister and my consign goes beyond the religion issue, the boys mother is some sort of hell, didn't like my sister and she looks really fetish, the whole family looked cursed to me, the guy is the only one that managed to finish ND and he is currently learning Mechanic after his ND Program, I have tried to persuade my sister to not have the intention of getting married to the guy now, because first she's young, second how would she feed and third that family is a no no, the red flags are just too glaring, Her strong head is just too much which is why I'm putting it out, if she's reading comments from another person maybe she'd pick something, I have invited her as a guest to Nairaland and she would be seeing all your advices. Kindly help us.

Thank you.

You have tried your best to persuade her to think twice, but the person you are talking about is like a moving train that won't stop unti she gets to her Bustop

She has no experience but wants to learnt the hard way

I don't want her to see you as the problem of her life

Leave her to go into that fire, when it burns her, she will run out, but by then she will be coming out with a permanent scars

Life is a teacher

Blissbath:
I recently graduated from the university and i got admission in school of nursing here in Nigeria.


I have an uncle who is based in USA and he wants me to come over to USA and take care of his child for two yrs.After two yrs,he will sponsor me to any school of my choice n within the two yrs,i will be doing part time program.

I will be 25yrs this year.

Should i continue with my nursing school which will be resuming on April or accept the offer.I am in a dilemna.

Pls advice me.
Mod pls help move it to front page .Thanks all

I will advise you move to it USA, stay there and look after the child in a most caring manner

You will be compensated by his sponsorship and because he knows that you studying nursing over there will benefit his child and the entire family

Pls accept the offer to travel out, it's your future that is being prepared

What if you ignore and go to school of nursing and you may not get the chance to go abroad again

Mariangeles:
His late wife was Igbo? Never knew.
If she was, were they not legally married?
How come he buried her in Imo state?

Some parts of that state returns their daughter to the family for burial

It's one of the most important thing to discuss with your intended inlaws

Danny50:
My fiancé has chronic mouth odour but I don't know how to tell her so that she won't feel bad or hurt.

So Guy's I really need your advice medically and how to go about it without hurting her thank you all.

Get a good foreign tooth paste and mouth wash got her yo be using constantly
She will understand

Alternatively follow her to a dentist to talk about oral health care

Nancyeke:
This is one of my biggest fear

Confront it, that's why you will learn to have the ability to tolerate and manage people, that's how every one is managing every one, including you

Sanoske:
https://silentbeads.com/im-scared-of-marriage-because-of-the-married-women-i-dated/

The worst is that you will still cheat on her despite you are scared of marrying her because she will cheat

You have to eat your dish
You tasted other people's own, so yours must be tasted

Truthisunique3:
let me just tell you the truth

This whole thing Na cruise to cuppy, but Na her toto dey suffer the cruise

She needs these attention to stay relevant not as if she is interested in relationship now

If she reach her 30's she go find man sperm to swallow

But her toto would suffer in the hands of these young rich boys because she have carved a niche for "celebrity couple" cruise

A rich boy doesn't worship a rich girl toto when you have tasted all types, when you know this babe to be a daddy spoilt brat that haven't grown up, Na to follow am catch her cruise

Your statements are filled with raw and vulgar words and languages try and works on that
Some words are meant to be Coded

donleo92:
na you dey look for handsome, rich, churchy boy nau.

She is a wealth herself, so she is not looking for a rich man

I think she hasn't made up her mind to marry

Don't you know that freedom is cheap

Any man that wants to marry her must tolerate her lifestyle

swagficient:
Hello here, I am really sad right now, I'm confused. My daughter's teacher called me to tell me she's not coping in class, she even said she organized extra lesson for her. She can't tell the difference between figures and number, she can write figure one and letter A. Nothing else. She doesn't come home to recite poems or anything but she sings those songs she hears from other kids or anywhere. Just not the school ones.
I love my daughter, I adopted her at age 1 and since then I have been trying to make life easier for her, I got a tab for her at 2 and half, She has toys, bikes, everything a kid should have for mental and academic growth.
I make sure she doesn't get mentally stressed. I love to make her comfortable. She's very active, smart ( in my own view). She operates my phone and her tab just fine, She understands complex conversations.
I make learning fun for her, I've tried everything.
Please, parents, teachers, experienced adults. I need your help here.
I don't know what being tagged "a slow learner" would do to her mental health. I need her to catch up.

You need to be her home teacher for now and at home to know exactly why she is not picking up

Some kids have their own way of learning, I believe she will still catch up

Promise her ice creams and chocolate or her favourite sweets if she can write 1/5 numbers per week

That sweets will motivate her, even keep the goodies where she can see them but can only have it if she writes well

Bigman101:
Yea dear,that's what am trying to though of ain't DAT easy

Am glad you are moving on

Nancyeke:
Good afternoon...
I am a chronic introverted guy.
But I tend to not have good relationship with people.
I suffer a times from low self esteem.
Though, I am not rich. Still trying to make money.

I have observed something about myself over the years, I tend to over react to what people say about me.

Perhaps because of my personality some people tend to take me for a ride. This doesn't go down well with me. I tend to over react to it of which at the end of the day I get blamed.
An instance was when I was in discussion with somebody and the person saidI don't even know anything that I am a dullered that how did I finish school etc. I didn't want to react but he persist. Though he was older, I had to react violently toward him. We engaged in verbal and even physical fight.
He triggered my anger.
At the end of the day the whole community blame me.


I am easy going but I tend to not have full grip of my self control.

And it's affecting my relationship with people and it's affecting my confidence in life.
I have prayed and fasted about this.
I have called on the holy spirit
But I am still not at the level of a good relationship with people.

What can I do.

I tend to always hate myself after I have overreacted some times I have thoughts of suicide.

Don't worry when you marry, that's when you will understand that bad words and abuses can come out from some people's mouth and rush like tap water, what if the person is your wife then you beat her and both of you will appear before your inlaws and they will blame you

Then she will use your weaknesses and keep making you to beat her, simply because you are not a gentle man and so you can't tolerate people

Anyway if you don't correct or adjust yourself, your wife will help you reset your brain

Bigman101:
Babe that hv even delete my numb self.( I called and she was asking who is this?)..I don't know how to go about it...

Then talk to your self and move on

redon12:
My fiance blocked me on WhatsApp three years ago, I couldn't reach her on phone either. I couldn't reach her mum and two sisters, trying to understand why she blocked me and why I couldn't reach her Family.

Two days later I saw her traditional wedding pictures on Facebook. It was the cruelest thing that ever happened to me.

I didn't have much money then so I could understand why she left. But I spent every dime I had on her, the sex was good and I was always there when she needed me.

All this happened three years ago, I felt that because she left me abruptly her life was supposed to be miserable, but she really is doing well, I have been stalking her all the way, I attended her wedding and her graduation, though quite conspicuous in the act, she drives the latest cars now, the last time I heard about her she was leaving the country to the UAE to deliver her second child. And still nothing bad happened to her.

I still can't get over her my life is miserable. But then all those years she left and I had time for myself to think clearly and learn web development skill, I was able to build my self a site that quickly transformed itself, it had a fast growth, an e-commerce/fintech company, which i am now officially it's CEO, with a company size of 11 people. I just got a seeding of 1.2 million dollars, to buy riders for dispatchers and also for advertisement.

But with all these she's thriving and she's doing well, It makes me wonder if life is really fair, I still have pictures of the day I proposed at ShopRite, the kisses, the hugs, the time we spent together, I still can't believe she forgot all that.

I am doing well now I have my own house and two cars to it, and a thriving company. But I can't stop stalking her, because of her I moved to Enugu where she lived. Some days whenever I come back from work Early I give this secondary school boys small cash to go to her husbands mansion to see if there is any activity there, then come back and report to me.

I believe she doesn't know I am still unto her, almost any day I am coming back from work, I drive through her beauty spar just to catch a glimpse of her.

I convinced my kid sister to move to Enugu, also convinced her to enroll her child in the same nursery and primary school my fiance's child goes to.

No matter how hard I try to meet other women, I always see her face on the wall behind them. I have tried to meet women from different countries from some of my trips to Dubai. No matter how gorgeous they never appeal to me.

Even till today I still see her as my fiance, I don't know what to do or how to get over her.

By now, it should have been dawn on you that she has been picked, why still loving a woman that is married already just because you were once lovers

Whereas you would have done everything to pin her down then, yet some other women are dying for you and you refuse to see that part because she has beclouded you, your thoughts and feelings

If you think you need deliverance to be separated from her, kindly do that as soon as possible and get separated

If you continue this way, you will never love another woman

Bigman101:
My date just broke up with me,am so traumatized, I don't know if I'll ever get over this...pls help me how do I survive this...pls note we do see face to face daily and that's what I don't know how to handle,imagine from lovers to strangers..

Humble yourself and go and reconcile with him

It's affecting you more

stunnert:
Me and my sisters were chitchatting last night when the question came up, I promised em that I'll ask the expert and gurus here on NL.
So feel free to drop your opinions, fact and myth about the question: "Why are men silent during sex ?

Men have the ability to control situations during sex while women starts loosing themselves once they get connected

Pasima:
Good afternoon guys please I need your advice, I am dating this girl for 6months now but she never came to my house to sleep but I have slept in her room for 3 times since we met. I have keep persuading her to sleep over although we do bleep in her house but I want her to sleep in mine to so that we can enjoy our night better and talk about our future but till date she said when she is ready she will let me know, seriously I am not happy about this even my friends are making mockery of me about it. What can I do to make her come over. Please no insult abeg.

Some factors are responsible

She may be living more comfortable that you are

Her location may be more accessible than yours

Her home May be more relaxing than yours

Your beddings may be of poor quality, to compare with her's

She may want to control you to her side more

Is either you endure till she is ready
Or you quite because I don't think she likes your home

felixalida:
Good morning all!

Please I need your advice on what to do over an issue that came up recently between my wife and I.

I dated my wife for about 9month before our wedding late last year and since we got married, she hasnt been able to conceive. She went to the Hospital and she was diagnosed with Ovariann Cyst and pelvic inflammatory diseases.

I was shocked and I tried to investigate her past again from those who were close to her and I discovered that she was quite loose and reckless while she was in school. She finally confessed that she even had an abortion for someone some few years back and this was someone who denied ever doing such when I asked her during the courtship.

Please help me.
I need your advice.

Well it's no longer a secret, follow her to the doctor to find out the solution and cost of treatment

Let her contribute more for the treatment

At least, start with that and as you progress, drop your progress report

WBworldwide:
I have been dating this girl for more than a year and she has been nice to me. But things hasn't been fair to me. She's an orphan, same thing as me.

I am a street boy and we are both in our final year in school. I made some money before she came into my life and then I went broke ever since, i am not blaming her or something but there are some things i can't share here about her.

So she travelled for the holiday for like three months now. She has changed, she told me her cousins are doing well and that their boyfriends' bought cars for them and that she has tried for me.

I really feel for her. That was one of the reasons I didn't want her to go home at first, negative influence. So, she told me she needed space that i have not been trying financially.

I told my friend and he said i should forget the girl for now. The thing is, I don't even blame her, I wouldn't stay with myself if I was her.

I'm just heart broken not being able to do anything.

I'm not simping o... Things are going well for me this period without her being here, i just feel for her that's all.

I'm a full stack hustler... I believe myself die... Even area believe me too

How come you are feeling for some one who left you broke with our feelings for you

Philip94:
My newly wedded wife always capitalize on what I did and said wrong eventhough she does and says wrong things to me which I most times overlook.

On many occasions, she will start giving me attitude and will pick up quarrel with me for weeks. I have told her countless times to always address issues she has with me immediately before it turns to a big quarrel.

She wont listen but will rather keep malice with me at any little misunderstanding we have.

Please, how can I find a lasting solution to my wife's unending quarrel, malice and resentment? I am already getting tired of rhe whole thing ��.

What exactly does she wants from you

Why not seat her down and have a heart to heart discussion with her

Because its too early for that kind of negative behavior

sazzyyarns:
My husband flogs me with cane and belt whenever we have an altercation. We are not newly weds and by now we should have understood each other.

He never apologizes when we reconcile instead he says i should stop doing things that provoke him (which doesnt include me going physical, so its not even in self defence). At this point im really just frustrated!!!
He flogs me in the presence of the kids, sometimes he flogs them and then flogs me too.

If you can continue to endure the humiliation and trauma, pls do

But what he is doing is giving him a bad impression from the children

When the time comes which is around the corner, those children will frustrate him all days and you know what that means for hkm at old age

By then you would have outgrown his wickedness and the children would have been stable in life

Every thing is turn by turn

Tissaia:
Awesome! Igbos wouldn't like this good news, Nigeria army are winning.

So it's true that the Igbo's are giving you sleepless night because of your dislike on them

Make sure that the hatred you have for the Igbo people, will never allow you to benefit any good thing from any Igbo man

AppliedReason:
I had never really given much thought to what happens to families and friends of people who go viral for one scandalous wrong reason or the other be it fraud, nudes, violent crimes etc.

Until recently when I was passing an area and my friend who I had gone to visit pointed to a house and told me of how the owner's son was involved in the act of kidnapping.
And then it hit me, the lives of their families will never remain the same. They would forever live with the stigma and shame of what their relative had done.
For me, once I close tab,minimise browser. E don finish but for others, O o o.

Take for example the case of the 4 young ritualist wannabe yahoo boys in ogun state. How would the people of the area relate with their parents, brothers sisters etc?
OR The proprietor who killed Little Hanifa in Kano? (I even heard his parents ran away)
OR The human eating cannibal in zamfara who has 19 children. What becomes of them? How would you grow up knowing your father was a cannibal?
Is society tolerant of such people despite their innocence?
I even asked a friend if he could marry a girl whose dad was a cannibal despite ticking all his boxes. His reply was an emphatic NO.

For the benefit of all for all, anyone with first hand experience of what life was like for the relatives of any of these criminals that others only get to read about in the news should please share.
Please share so people may know that the principle of "collective responsibility" is not dead and be guided accordingly. One person may commit the crime but a lot of people would pay for it in one way or the other.

Mods, pls do the needful.

That's why they are called the black sheep of the family

Ineedtovent:
I am married with two kids male and female 3 and 2 years old, my wife and I were living fine until her cousin sister came staying with us. She is her father sister daughter , the girl mother raised my wife and her older sister, my wife came from a poor family and her parents had to sent them to their aunty because she was doing well back then , but she had maltreated them to the extend of leaving a big scar to my wife foreheads and the day she had narrated her life story to me I have shed tears because it was very painful to hear but in everything I have pleaded her to forgive and forget which she said she has forgiven her a long time ago and I was happy with her.

The aunty and her family have also had attended our wedding back in 2013 and her two daughters were our bridesmaids just to prove that she has forgiven her and had nothing against her. It happened that her aunty had lost her husband back in 2019 and things were hard for her and her children,  my wife have decided to take one of her daughter who was 15 years and I had given her the permission to bring her to the house and since she had forgiven the mother I thought she would take good care of her but I was wrong .

She had maltreated her even worser than what her aunty had done to her,trust me this girl passed through hell in the hands of my wife and anytime I had tried stopping her she would accused me of sleeping with her and I have decided to sent her back to her mother and I have told her I will send her back to her mother she said I should not dare but I promised her to wait and see.

I call for a family meeting with my inlaws and the girl mother because I wanted the girl to be free from my wife and I have narrated everything to them , my wife dad told his sister to take her daughter back but she refused and has started blaming the girl for being stubborn that she is a bad girl for making my wife angry and she was in tears begging my wife for forgiveness and I have told her nto stop accusing her for what she is not wrong with, she had stayed with me for 2 years and I have never suspected her to be stubborn towards my wife or I. She is the most polite girl but I do understand the reason why she didn't want her back despite her being abused , she was living in poverty and she had other kids to cater for and she didn't want her daughter back to add more burden to her suffering but I had insisted that she has to take her daughter and in front of my inlaws and wife i have given her 100k to go and start something.

After the aunty had left , my parents in laws stay in to counsel my wife and I but everything they have said went to a deaf ears my wife fought me that night and she had insulted me calling me all the names under the sun, I didn't respond her so I took my car key and left the house and I return after some time. Because I didn't respond her the first time she had insulted the hell out of me so she had started again the following day early morning before leaving for work ,  this time around she went as far and has insulted my mother calling her a prostitute because she knew I would definitely react to the insult and of course I did I pinned her against the wall and I held her by her neck almost chocked her and I have told her she can insult me as much as she pleases it will not bother me but she should never try to insult my mother again because I would kill her. I let her go and she was throwing things at me , calling me names and she said she will poison me.

As shocked I was but I didn't respond to her and I immediately left the house and went to lodge to a hotel for few days because I knew that if I went home on that night maybe one of us would have been in the hospital and another in jail for my own sanity I had to distance myself from her , on day 7 her father called me because she said a lot of lies about me and he wanted to hear my side of the story to,  I have explained everything and he advised me the best way he could and ask me to go back home but I have told him I ain't going anywhere until he talk to his daughter because if she carry on with her attitudes I will land myself in jail and he call for an emergency family meeting for reconciliation.

I returned back to the house but we had no communication and we are sleeping in a separate room and everytime I remembered how she said she will poison me I don't even eat her foods even when it was our children birthday I didn't drink or ate the food she cooked. I eat out everyday and I only go home to sleep . We are living like roommate and the love I had for her is not there anymore and we are only staying together for the sake of our kids it took us 6 years to conceived our first baby and I don't want them to grow up in a broken home but I don't think we will ever be in good terms again. Thanks for reading till the end.

What a nonsense behaviour from her

Probably wickedness runs in their family especially from the women

It's time she returns to her father's house, that will be her own correctional home

If unfortunate for her by the time she will be back, you already had one on standby, then it's her fault

For both of you to live like strangers is riskier than when you both are separated

A threat to life is not something to joke about with because the mouth just spoke what the heart is planning

Oyin2212:
Wow this is actually wisdom

Thanks

Varidan:
God bless you!!!

Seriously! People here are just pathetic with their response!

That woman is deciteful and not to be married without proper studying. Haba!

Just look at people calling him irresponsible for daring to want to make his own money and not depend on his family's before he marries.

We've gone really mad with reason in this country and that's why we are stuck.

For Bleep sake! It's sooooo obvious she planned and played him!

That's being selfish.

I'd like to think there's a million and one way for her to help him get to that point where he'd decide to marry her even if he hasn't achieved all his goals but this is how she chose to do it? Wow. We really are bleeped up in this country if this is how we think.

OP note this: women control access to sex and whether a child is born. But man controls access to MARRIAGE and RELATIONSHIP.

what she did is literally take your right to decide AWAY from you. That's selfish.

And if she can do that then calm in the knowledge that you will be doing that right thing by not even helping to raise that kid. If you choose that route then you absolutely shouldn't feel bad about choosing to go that way even if the world tries to make you feel bad by appealing to your human emotion. Absolutely nothing wrong!

I just wanted to point that out.

Just look at the way people are blaming him for this when they both agreed to not have kids yet. Wow. Men suffering!

If you are of good heart like myself, I would advise that you help raise that baby but DEFINITELY reconsider your plans to marry that lady. Or at least make sure she trly loves you like she claimed.

Ire oo.

You have said it all
I said it that women are always on top of their game
It's left for Op to keep doing her bidding or learn to take a decision and stand on it

Whatever you are doing with a woman, she is actually ahead of you and you can only know what's happening, when she is done with you

Cherrymia:
Abia

I think Abia state makes use of Enugu orthopedic hospital

We have just three orthopedic hospitals in Nigeria

They are
National Orthopedic hospital Igbobi Lagos

National Orthopedic Hospital Enugu

National Orthopedic hospital kano

These are Government hospitals specialist in bone and hip matters

But if you can't take her to the nearest in Enugu, they are private Hospitals in Abia

Though may be expensive

Cherrymia:
Thank you,please where is it and do you know how much they charge for it?

Where do you stay