₦airaland Forum

Nonexisting:
Just look at this nonsense. Will people of this gender ever accept to be responsible for their actions? They shit, they blame man. They piss they blame man. Even when they burn their hair for salon, they will blame man for giving them money to do the hair. Tufiakwa, God forbid bad thing.

Yes, they will also blame a man for making them not to get to orgasm

E get why

Emaprince:
Men must cheat? The way you women just vomit this nonsense sha..one would think women don't cheat. Is there a woman that haven't cheated before?

When a man cheats is part of them to cheat, they see it as fun doing it

When a woman cheats, they man has failed himself woefully

Amazingbaby:
Are you for real? What do you want me to say, should I have lied that he is home when he is not? Abandon his family? I never said anything like that Am I dealing with an insane person on nairaland?
I hate pity that is why I warned my mum never to tell my siblings or anyone,why then would I need nairalnds pity?

Biko I need practical opinion on how to move forward.avoid me.

My dear sister, just be calming down, you may have a good point or complains about your marriage and your spouse

But your presentation or the way you handled it us quite regid

To start a life and journey of a single mother especially as you don't have that financial back up yet, is not going to be easy

We don't know much about your husband escapedes but I want you to accept the fact that men must cheat

Their cheating comes either by default or by nature push

But it won't last forever

As you are going with this step you are taking, is possible he has already slipped into the other lady's hand

seunsiju:
Even though she always warn me to be using condom, but i like it raw and sweet, couple of weeks ago, she is feeling sick and tired, and i sent her money for checkup, the news break my heart, the test shows she is three weeks pregnant! i want to denied the pregnancy based on say i read her chats on Whatsapp cheating and having sex with another guy, but deep down i know i responsible for this cos the date tally with the time we had last sex....we have agreed to abortion, but am scared it might go wrong.

Pls advice me
Should i denied that i owned the pregnancy, cos i can back my claim up cos she cheated during that periosd or should we go for the abortion.

Pls am not ready to be a father to another kid!!! Help a depressed brother

You are not depressed yet and you don't need any advice

Am glad you know very well that it's your pregnancy and you want to deny it

How do you feel with your proposed denial plans

Do you feel alright or you feel guilty

We can't judge you but let your conscience judge you

You are free to keep denying all the pregnancys that comes your way, those kids will deny you too when you now want them

Spherical77:
Jennyclay this is also a good suggestion, please take note of it.

Thanks for pointing to it

BigBashiru:
Wise words!

Na so e bi

Tejumola856:
I’ve tried to be in relationship many times but it doesn’t work for me, I will just get tired all of the sudden within a couple of months, I can’t even point out a reason I get tired of it, I dated at least 6 girls last year which I later breakup with them without a reason.

What I discovered is that I always love them in the beginning to the extent that I will promise them heaven and earth, at the end of the day i will get tired of them.

The issue now is that, I met this girl last year December during the Christmas, I’m not going to lie, I truly love this girl, I asked her out and she agreed to be in relationship with me, this girl has been loyal to me, she’s always come to cook for me, she has once washed my clothes, I found happiness and joy in her but now, I’m having a feelings of breaking up with her, I stop calling or texting her, I don’t even know what’s going on in my life right now but my mind keep telling me to break up with her cus I need to be free.

Please over to you married men and those who are in relationship, how does it work out for you? I don’t understand my life again!

You must have been telling women sweet things that will make them commit themselves to you and you will just break up just like that

Check well who cursed you among the one you toyed her heart with

This act of yours may continue till the jinx is broken

Will he ever use it

kroosx:
Best advice you'll get here

Thanks

Islie:
Watch Video Below:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CZjpZ88A58g/?utm_source=ig_embed&ig_rid=7717dd38-731b-41ae-8374-ef75746f1bc0&ig_mid=7BF10033-1D4E-49E6-BF21-7A6AA1E9CE21

Am still wondering who the man came down from bed to separate, the wife or the side chick
Probably the fight

apluz:
Hey pals, I ve been tamed a "bad boy" where I live. I have bad rep with women and they all gossip abt me to every new girl I meet. Thing is, I onced lived the life of a player, flirting with so many girls and its haunting me ever since ve changed. I want to settle down with this girl I really love. But pple still gossip abt me and my past life to her and its making her doubt my love for her. Pls guys any tips on how I can redeem my self image ??

Being decent and self respect is one of the ways of redeeming bad images

For your current girl, if you know that you will disgrace your self with all the stories she heard about you, just let her go on time

But if you are now committed with her, prove it and put it into practice

Be honest, humble, transparent, open and gentle

Let the above mentioned speak for you

Joko5560:
Hi Nairalander, before anyone start raining curse or abuse me please try to hear my story and give honest opinion please. I got married some years ago because I'm madly in love with my wife as people do says no one is perfect. I have my own imperfections so is my wife but she is the hot temper type and she does get physical ( assault me even before wedding ) and I was hoping that would change after wedding at some point after wedding she was not conceiving and she started blackmailing me emotionally calling me impotent and other names she even told me about her previous pregnancy just to make things clear that I'm the one having issue.... fortunately nothing was wrong with me. I went for semen analysis she said I con the doctor for giving me a good results...later few weeks she got pregnant and we have our first son and I have been there for her every moment. I prioritize her over everything I established her got her what ever she desires... But she started making my life hell my denying me sex she will be giving different types of excuse just to avoid sex. She always complain about stress from a company she owns while she wasn't even the one cooking at home our maid cook and do majority of the house chores.. she started showing less affection towards me everything is now on her business...then I started seeing girls outside the marriage but it was only temporary fix for me because getting back home and not getting the love I'm giving her back it's hurting and I have no plans on getting another wife. If we had a fight she will be threatening me with moving out of the house or divorcing because she knows I really don't want that because of my son...I endure different types of emotional damage from her and physical assault from her threatening to kill me or herself whenever she is angry...her friend come in to the matter when she started visiting us and will be calming her and advising her to stop all her behaviour then she advised me to speak with her and find out if I did something to her that's making her behave that way towards me.. I did she didn't give me any reasonable reasons for her behaviour that she is stressed from works then as days goes by me and her friend start this friendship which makes everything hurt less for me... We talks about eachother pains then I discovered we even have a lot in common than I realized.... literally we are going through similar dilemma both been unloved by those we choose to love but she already ended her relationship with her partner... certainly most people will think I'm lusting for her but to me she is bringing me joy and happiness by just talking with her alone and I never even though about seeing her naked because she is someone I respected a lot.. we never shakes hands before or hug but whenever she is around I found peace and worry less about every other thing... Since we start talking I stop seeing other girls and she even advice me on been better husband to her friend which I did I started sleeping back in her room still trying to be more romantic and available to her... But to be honest I falling in love with her as days goes by and I have also been emotional and financial supportive of her...but we are still friends as things stand as a matter of fact we are good friends.... and my wife sees me as a possession she owned she can't bare to see me with another person yet she didn't mends her behaviour towards me even people who are close to us are calling her the husband of the house because I'm the type of man that doesn't put anything over my marriage.. family members doesn't like her due to her behaviours... Some already insulted me because of her. In short I have been dealing with all her shenanigans...now I'm getting love from unexpected place but I can't go for it because it's will be like double betrayal to her if anything happens between me and her friend...I love my son and doesn't want to lose custody of him. I love my wife but she is making my life hell and the person making everything better is her bff....now my life is a living hell... I don't know what to do please advise me

You already have a clue to solving your problem

You are going to still keep ensuring hell if she continues this same mad behavior of her's

Continue you contact and friendly relationship her BFF till you get the green light to go on or not to go on

We must learn to create happiness for our selves, this life is full of naughty people and naughty things, we must get it right else we fall into depression

Just follow your heart, you already knows where it's taking you to

NnolimNzubechi:
Hello Nairalanders.
It's A Long Read But Please Bear With Me

Am the only child, Am A Boy,my mom died when I was 3 years and am the only child.so it's been only me and dad since and his girlfriends..

Recently I started smoking, He noticed it..My dad too smokes but only cigarette,He has been smoking past a Decade Now But He looks very Healthy And Chubby Too So You won't Know He Smokes Unless Your Saw Him smoking.

So He told Me To Stop Smoking,And He Was Angry With Me For A Week plus,Later The Anger Reduced..He Taught I Smoked Only Cigarette but I Smoke Both cigar and Arizona Weed,Jus those Two.i Don't Take alcohol.
I Stopped Smoking Though,It Was on Saturday Being Feb 4,That I Relapsed,I Smoked A.Z,So My Dad And Her Current Girlfriend Came Back,She went To The Backyard And Saw the Aches and The Brown Rizzla..Then she went and Told My Dad,My Dad Came Into My Room And Started Saying Plenty Things,Lastly He told me To Leave His House Tomorrow Being Sunday Feb 05. He then left My Room, I Was Shocked,I Didn't What To Do Or Say To Him

So in The Morning I went Out To Buy Something,When I Came Back He Locked The Back Door From inside,So I Couldn't Open It With My Keys.I Knocked And Told Him It Was Me,He Told Me To Go Back To Where I Come From And i Should Not Knock Ever Again.This Made Angry,He Didn't Even Give Me The Chance To Apologize,I Used Vex And Told Him Oya Let Me Carry My Property,He Said He Will Throw it For Me,That He Is Already Packing My Belongings,Few Minutes Later He Threw It for Me,I Was Down So He Threw It From Up...So I Left to Stay With a Friend in another State.


So My Question Now Is what My Father Did The Right thing?My Telling Me To Leave His House Cos I smoke, Am 19 Years Of Age, I Will be 20 This Year.I heard too Many ulcers and Helicobacter pylori Which Leads To Stomach Cancer,Yet He Told Me To Leave, He Was The Buying Medicine For Me But He Knows The Ulcer And Helicobacter pylori Hasn't Healed Final.He Knows I Don't Have Money To Fend For Myself Yet,i Always Go To His Shop To Help Him With His business.

What He Did By Telling Me To Leave Is It Right?I Don't SMOKE Outside,I only SMOKE In Our Flat,Cos I Don't Want People To Know I SmokE,My Dad Will be Ashamed When People Tell Him I Smoke ,He is a Very Popular Man Here..


Today I Chatted Him And Told Him Am Sorry For My actions,The First Thing He Told Me Was (you will never see good In your life)..I Didn't Mind Though The Curse though, I Begged Him,And He Told Me To Come Back,But Am Really Not Happy With Him,What if I Have Accident?what if I was Kidnapped?He didn't Think Of Those ones instead He sent Me Parking, I Have always Be A Good son which he tells me Frequently,I don't give him Headache.Just Only That Smoke

Even Though He Told Me To Come Back Am Still annoyed With Him,Instead of Him to Help Me To Stop ,He Told Me To Leave His House And Go continue Smoking.Those Words Hurt Me....

Should I Go back To Him And Start Planing To Save Money And Relocate?Cos I don't Have a Dime Now,And My ulcer Hasn't Healed Complete...I haven't even Eaten Good Food since yesterday,Just one okpa
...
My Main Question Are (Did My Dad Do The Right Thing By Telling Me To Leave,Should I Go Back To Stay With Him??Or should I Stay Here At My friend Place and start Hustling For Myself??

Please Moderators Should help Move to Front page,Am in Deep confusion Now.Thanks

Honestly you are still a good child and you are humble, but I don't know why you choose to smoke

You have ulcer that you are under going treatment, what if you get lungs cancer from your smoking, we will all loose you

Go back to your dad, just rerun home, later tell him you want to have a son and dad discussion with him

Tell him how you feel and how you want him to help you come out of your smoking habits

Tell him anything you want to tell him

Then ask him to withdraw that curse on you and ask him to bless you with prayers

You see, at this stage and this moment, if you don't define what you want to do in life, you will loose it soon

And once you slip off, that's the beginning if your unstable life

Think of what to start doing now that your dad is still active to help you

Anxiety2022:
I just got diagnosed of been HIV+. I don't even know what to do or where to start at this phase in life. Dream looks shambles. I had that HIV positive patient must take it's drugs everyday in other to survive. I really do not know where to start. I feel like taking my life away. Who can give me a concrete advise on how to survive this. The trauma is much on me. I really do not know who to ask for favor. I am looking forward for your advice.

Secondly is the drugs affordable?

Pls calm down, it's nit a death sentence

You have to go and register at the approved government centers or hospitals where people in that category comes for counselling and free drugs are given monthly

You just have to keep taking the drugs and feed well also take fruits

I just hope you can trace who among your sex partners that got you infected, so that you guy's can walk it together

waziri4biz:
Hey house I need your views on this matter. When my girlfriend is talking to me or texting me I usually take my time to listen over the phone and ensure she gets the undivided attention then when she notices I'm silent the next thing she start blowing off on me like I'm pissing her off and she could even go as far as hanging up before getting to know if I was only silent because I was SINCERELY listening. This time around she hung up and after calling her back to know if she truly hung up I ended the call because I lost it this time.... But share your views anyways

You get time to tolerate nonsense

Dickson178:
There's this girl I met across the street in an empty land with fence with stacking blocks in it by 10pm ... So I decided to go and asked her why is she here by this time of the night with this little baby, she was like "uh-huh",I said talk to me what really happened that makes you to stay here with this little baby, she now told me that she's looking for a help , I said like what kind of help? She replied me , hopefully can I help her ? I said if I can be able to help you, I'll help you out. She goes to okay, now she's looking for a place to sleep with her child and place to keep this bag beside her , I was like "uh-huh" and dumfounded, I told her that I'm still living with my dad and brother as well , but I'll look for a place for you to sleep tonight ( she was excited about it) ,she asked me if I'm serious I said yes I'm serious, she said okay, but lemme help her with plate and salt to used and drink garri , I said okay lemme go and bring you them , not knowing that she's looking where I'm going to, and finally she knows my house, wen I came back , she told me that she knows my house, I said okay it's cool though. So I said I'm sorry can I asked you a question? She replied; you're free to asked, I said okay... Are you married? She said yes , but bride price hasn't been paid.. okay. But how many children do you have, she said three ( 2 boys and 1 girl),and I asked what about other 2,she said 1 is with her ex parents and the other one is with her parents . I said okay, so why don't you go and stay with him, I mean this present husband now, she replied; I vowed not to go back there anymore, because he normally beat her to stupor and she hate it, and I'll never go back there until he pays for my bride price.. So i asked her , do you really love him if he pays your bride price? She said yes of course, that she loves him . I said okay, it's okay cus it's getting to 12;00am ,so let's go to my friend's house, she said okay.. we went there with her child and me ,I asked her how old is she, mehn she got me stuck! She said that she's 18yrs old ,I said what!! Are you serious about this! She said of course she's serious..i said okay ( I don't want to asked much questions again ) I said sorry,where you from ,she said she's from ABIA STATE ,AROCHUKWU ,oh okay that's cool.. so before going to my friend's house I called him first and explain everything and he agreed, so we got there and we slept till morning, she collected my phone number. Can you believe that this girl keep calling me morning afternoon and night, she always say that she just wants to hear from me , cus I don't like to call her. I replied her that I don't have card to call her. So I asked her if she has gotten a place to stay and she say yes, I said okay, like if I can give you 5-cups of rice will you like it and she say yes and I gave her . Since then she loves me unconditionally, but I don't know how to tell her that I'm not interested with her that I was just helping her , because the way she call me makes me speechless .

Modified: I never had sex with her and never!

Pls stop her from calling you, there is no need for that at all
Even the little help you gave her was a big risk

Lamanii22:
Hello guys, this may be a bit lengthy, please bear with me... thank you





my mother is always right about everything,could it be her 6th sense or something more.... so many times I would be like "mom I don't agree with you" and later i'd be like "omoor mummy you're right ooo".... I am someone who is very plain and I easily trust people, so there's guy who offered to teach me pastries for free, he even offered to teach me at my own home... I was like what a lovely gesture, he is the one that will buy ingredients, he would buy me ice cream, yoghurt and different things..... my mom was like "does he want to marry me" I'm like "he is just being nice that's all"...


So one day he came to tell us that they are doing freezer promo in his area and that he has already started the payment on my behalf.... cause one can pay in installment, he showed me everything, he said he has almost finished the payment and that the balance is remaining 20k and we needed freezer so badly that time cause I sell tasty time and drinks.... I was like "what a great opportunity"... I then told my mom happily about... my mom just said "o fe gba e ni" (he wants to scam you), I told her no way that someone that is teaching me kini for free, I sha collected the money from my mom and then gave it to this guy, he even showed me the receipt and the freezer via video call and all...... guys it's been two years I didn't see freezer nor my mom's 20k... He still calls me and keeps promising he would return the money, some part of me still believes he would return the money cause if you see this person eehn, he is really nice, he would help me carry tasty time from a very far distance to my house..... there was this day I lost my market money and he gave it back to me...


I just don't understand why he lied to me, or maybe he needed my money for something or he just did all that to gain my trust, my mom would always say she warned me but I didn't listen..... I have always wanted to prove my mom wrong but she's right all the time.....


Some other occasions like that too but this one....

You want to compare your mum with all her experience and exposure with you that is yet to see 1/100 of all she has seen in this world

Keep trusting people until they injure you

Luvinghrt4:
Pls, someone help me. What should I do with my life? I'm two months pregnant and I'm going through depression. It would have been peaceful if I just die, but what happened to my 8 yrs old son?
My husband is addicted to betting and I've done everything to stop him, all to no avail.
Sometimes, I've followed him to betting shop, some times, I come in the morning still come back to meet him in the evening at the same spot. standing from morning to evening, looking tired, stressed, hungry but he wouldn't leave until he finished the whole money he had.

I wish I'm fianancially ok, so, I can ignored him, but right now, I am not.

When I had money, I was taking care of everything without complaining. I even place him on 20k monthly salary for several months from the money I made from my business when he had nothing to do. Yet, he was gambling with it and was always apologiesing.
I have been advising him, praying with him, but it seems he has decided not to change.
I have finally discovered that he's heartless, he don't care about us.
Nothing is pushing him into gambling, he's just greedy.

He can use his last Money to gamble and return home to meet us hungry with nothing.
He uses mine as well, but I wasn't paying attention.
In October last yr, he made me loan my business capital to his elderst bro who was processing Visa. he knew, that money was all we had. His brother bridge the agreement and started refunding installmentally. That was how I lost my capital. We had nothing, so we were solely depending on what he was refunding. ( My business capital) I couldn't talk, because I don't want to sound disrespectful to his elderst bro.

Since I met my husband, he had never had a reasonable job and I have been there for him. toward last year ending, someone I helped long time ago called me for a job, i declined and recommend my husband instead. He got the job.
Since, he started earning 80k - 90k salary in a month, his attitude change. He prefer to spend the whole day in betting shop. But once the whole money finishes, he will return with apology and behaving well.
Some days, we go to bed without food. I can't believe since 3days, we've not eating any meaningful food in this house. he doesn't care because he eats from restaurant.

Please,
I need a job or little capital to continue my business pls. if I'm going to have this baby in 7 months time, then, I need to fianancially equipment myself, otherwise, we will suffer. I need to save money and get an accomodation. I need to move out of this house before I suffocate to death.
Pls, someone help me or what should I do to relive myself of the pain I'm going through.
Someone advice me please

Pls calm down, every problem has solutions

You are still getting pregnant when you know that the family is living on nothing yet

If you realy want to save your life run to your parents with your child, at least your parents an feed you, by the time you stay there, you will seat them down and tell them what you are passing through

You see that your husband, him no send anyone except himself

Law of survival is you first

You parents may compel him to be bringing food allowance to the family and from there his sense may pick up

You don't have to hide your husband bad behaviours away from your family

Is like hiding a sickness that a doctor is already aware off

Instead of you to die for nothing and your family will loose you
Leave that person to humiliate you and after that you will develop sense bye force

Lasunray01:
Good day nairalanders. My first time post in 5yrs.

Will try to summarize the issues and seek sincere advise please.

I’ve been married before but got divorced within a year due to genotype issues(it’s a long story). So I remarried 2yrs after and with a child now, and that’s where my issues started from.

I know I have some bad sides too which I’m trying to change, which is flirting with single ladies, and this has caused multiple fight with my wife.

Whenever we have this fights, not physical, just verbal, but in her anger she breaks virtually anything around, cups, laptop, speakers etc. she can be madly angry. I’ve warned, petted her severally to desist from this act especially infront of our kid...but she won’t. It’s getting worse by the day. Now she reports me with blackmail to her parents and friends making me feel I’m the worst husband in the universe, calling me unprintable names. Calling me weak cos I don’t beat.

Now the advice I seek, we are planning to relocate as a family abroad this year, but I’m really scared. I can actually go alone, but would prefer we all go together since I have the means. But I’m scared if I won’t regret my actions to take her along with this her character. What if I get jailed or lose custody of our child abroad, because she’s a master in blackmail. She can turn simple issue overboard.


Sorry for the long epistle. Just had to pour out my mind. Constructive criticism is welcomed.

Thank you

She is just high without taking drugs and for nothing, that's her own way of being crazy just to prove that she exists

If you want to relocate abroad, why not start with just you alone and you can still be visiting them here

Keep her busy here with a building project and something that will make her stay behind

Until you are sure that she is not high on drugs, then you can start by inviting them for holidays

I am aware that over there, their law protects women and children alot

You can imagine how empty you will be the day she will report you to the authorities

Your own done finish be that

Think twice pls

Idowu116:
Oh thank you very much for this
I appreciate

You are welcome

Idowu116:
Hello Nairalanders,there is a very confusing issue I would love to share here so your opinions are highly needed.

I work in a bank as a cleaner since last year April and I earn #26,000 per month. I have been working with the aim of starting a business (even if I don't have any business idea to run)or furthering my education because I stop at SS3 since 2017 when I graduated.
Last week, my uncle called me that there is vacancy at a filling station in ibadan then from there I will continue schooling in a polythecnic of ibadan.He said I will be paid #15,000 per month an I will do part time at the poly.He said I shouldn't worry about accommodation and feeding.He also said I will be paying my school fees from my salary.

I haven't worked in a filling station before but I would love to change environment too. I don't want to leave this job and regret later and I don't know if I will do well in the filling station but I also want to further my education too.

I am confused here and I don't know what decision to take.So I came here to seek for a very candid advice on how to deal with the issue.
Please your opinions are needed thank you
Lalasticla.la please help move to front page.Thank you

Feeding and accommodation settled

Which school fees will you pay from your salary?

If he has said that he will pay your part time school fees that will be fair enough

This free feeding and accommodation, hope you are close or friendly with the wife

You may regret changing your job because you are going to a new place and it will take you mental stress to settle down

Continue with your bank cleaner work, get a partime admission, share the good news with your senior bankers staff in the bank, they will be glad you are upgrading yourself and may contribute for you if you humbly ask them

Innomach:
Paying of bride price(traditional) and going to the registry for certificates. Every other thing, na scam

Then why the too much talk against traditional marriage

Sterope:
She can focus her anger on any or both of them.

To what extent and what purpose

grandstar:
..

You're cool with a cheating spouse

So I should come and kill myself for my spouse to still live his naughty life

Who can cage a man, no body
Who can manipulate a woman, no body

Obynolee:
Because you probably belong to the "oh yes" group coupled with the fact that you must have been brainwashed into believing that the church "conducts" marriages and if not done in the church the couple will be committing sin of fornication.

You are the one saying this not me

Obynolee:
You're wrong because the OP did not do his in the church and he is legally married.

Read through the whole pages so that you will know what brought about church and priest

HazardAwka:
Guys, if you get married or already married and your wife insists on being the one to name all of your kids. Will you permit it or disagree?

There is nothing to argue there a man will have a name for his child and same with the mother

But the funny thing is that the mother will prefer calling that child the name that she wants, probably the one she chooses

But In documentations and birth certificate , the child have all the names