Fostercat: Hello All I don't know if this is the right place to post this, but I need help Thank you for all the good work you are doing.
Where I live here in Lagos, whenever I pay my house rent I usually pay for utility bill including for water. The owner of the house connected our water pump direct, bypassing the meter,this I am not aware because I pay for water, thinking they are using the money for subscription. Ikeja electric distribution people came on Friday and disconnected us for power because they found out the water pump is connected direct and nobody was at home and they did not leave any contact. I don't know what the penalty is. I want to use this medium to ask the house if anyone have had this kind of experience and how was it sorted out. We have been in darkness since Friday and it has not been easy running Gen althrough.
Thanks as I await feed back.
If you take it upon yourself, both the landlord and the rest will leave it for you
Let those who did that illegal connection sort it out
When they come to you for money to bribe them
Tell them that you have been paying water bills and never knew that the bills was never paid to the appropriate authorities
So you have already paid your dues
In the issue of running generator, it's your choice of life style, others are enduring the situation so if you cant endure then switch to Gen
They will sort themselves out just ignore the problem they cause after all its not as if the house belongs to you or you caused the illegal connection
emotionalwoman: I created a new ID for this post and it's a really long post.
I've been in a toxic marriage for seven years (like a crazy marriage). I have a child and I'm expecting another one on the way. Anyway, I walked away last year September (note this is my second time of walking away from our home) I walked away about 3years ago and we both reconciled.
Last year, I was about three months pregnant and we had a serious issue about finances regarding a medical procedure that I had to undergo inorder for me to keep the pregnancy. He refused to contribute a dime and we both had a serious argument and he beat me up the night before my surgery and because of that I packed up my things and left.
Two days before I left I approached him that I've gotten a house and I'm moving out and he said nothing. On the day of my leaving, he was at home when the van pulled up and left but he did nothing.
December Last year, he approached me that he wants to see his son, I sent his son to him and he brought his son back to where im currently living. We had a cordial discussion about life and he dropped some allowance for his son.
We've been cordial, I guess to much and right now I'm no longer comfortable. He has been helpful in my condition because I live in a town with no family and friends. He is the only adult I can count on and he has been helpful but not perfect.
The Problem is I can not forget how toxic our seven years together has been and my gut feeling tells me to quit the marriage. He still does not realize how bad he hurt me and feels because I'm cordial with him, I still love him.
I'm almost due with our second child and I really want us to be good friends but I don't want us to be married. I actually want boundaries between us but I don't want to push him away.
For the first time in seven years, he provided our monthly upkeep and my hospital money without fighting and argument. He's been good this month but it was hell with him for seven years.
I hope I'm clear enough, what should I do? please
Probably your packing out brought out the sense of responsibility of a man in him
You are pregnant for him for the second child and now he has been responsive, that's a good one
But you don't want to go back to marriage again with him
It's your choice to decide if you are comfortable being a wife outside living with him
As he comes and do the little ones he does and go back to wherever he is coming from, leave it so
If he really wants you guys back, he will arrange for you guys to come back
If he decides to settle with you in your residence, it may be because he is back to his senses
But in all if you heard that another woman is pregnant for him, don't feel bad or feel jealous simply because you can't cope with his bad attitude
newbornmacho: Please how can a 44 year old be coming to marry a 17 year old girl?
And my sister is excited, and my mom is saying if shes happy she has no problem?
What is money?
And I'm looking like I'm a mad man for telling my sister I'm not in support.
I wish I could nail this guy on something...like if he's ever been married ( which he denies) or some sort of scandal.... How will my only sister get married to someone 27 years her senior?
For God sake
Please help me, what should I do
If I talk now they will say I hate women
We've had a very angry family meeting this night and this girl is bent on going... Abi na jazz?
Let me use the words that will buttress my points
You parents failed her by trading her bride prize for her education and future
What does a girl of 17yrs knows about men and marriage
That man just want a novice he can control and manipulate, fortunately for him he bought his way through your parents
I under that you are fore seeing danger in her marriage but you don't have the power to stop her so far your parents are blinded about it
Just relax and wish her well
If it turns out good fine and if it's other wise, well it will be a life lesson for her After all your parents have lived their own lives
By now that girl should be registering for her JAMB not registering for marriage
Beautifulearth: Please how do I go about this, I just broke up with my girlfriend and my laptop which I lend her to use when hers was faulty and this babe said she’s not returning anything that we have been useful for each other in the relationship. She even threatened to set boys up against me if I dare come to her side for it and I need the laptop cos of my stuffs on it. Her mother said I shouldn’t involve her that she didn’t give me her daughter, this is a woman I have been good to in the past
They are all pained because it didn't work out as expected
You have to forgo the laptop and save your life
It's going to be a hard decision for you but it's the best to save your life from that bad girl
Yesterday I asked her I wanted to check her phone and she started to delete some email messages and when I asked her to show me as it was still in the thrash yet to be fully deleted she tried to jump off the balcony of the two storey building.
I called my parents as she said she wanted to jump off and commit suicide, she said if I leave the balcony for her to use her phone she would not commit suicide.
We managed to drag her back and then she asked that she wants to be alone in her room and speak to her dad, we allowed her as we knew she was going to delete the email.
Nairalanders please what do you think she is up to please, bear in mind that I also observed she records our conversations when we have issues but that had been settled. I am still in the Marraige but sincerely I am shocked, this her move was really extremely sinister. Please advise me on my next steps, though I have started some already.
MARSHALDEMSA202: Greetings NL I will like to go straight to the main point here A lady I met and dating is about to relocate to Europe for a job and we plan to marry but am not yet financially stable.
Is there possibility of marrying her after she travel out ? I need an advise on what to do, whether to get married/engaged before she leaves
Can she prioritise me as her Boyfriend/Fiancé again ?
Just wish her well and she is travelling and keep up the communication
Getting her engaged but you don't have thr finance to marry her yet won't make sense
She won't even allow you to pin her down till God knows when
If she loves you, she will be there waiting for you
But I know that, if she is relocating to the village permanently, you will not ask for this
So keep the communication and plan towards your own development
Zeal0000007: Pals just don't know what to think, here is it, my fiancee's sex libido increased rapidly than before, I work at sea returning back from work , the way my woman has been spinning during sex is disturbing. I know she must have missed me but she is not a very sexy driven person. This time around during sex, she can raised her legs up to her head, and its shocking, the way she moans its unbelievable, this time around she loves doggy style, like say tomorrow no dey, she wants to come up top me and alot more.
My imagination is trying to tell that she might be having it with someone that is very good in bed while I was away, pals this is giving me a lot of concern. Soon I will be going back in matter of days, from my observations since I came back I have not seen strange number calling her.
Anything can change in a woman's body at any time of her age
She may be starving and needs to get enough to carry her on
But to clear your doubts, get her pregnant and you will be calm
Adekunlegold9ja: It'd be 27 this year... I can't speak my local dialect fluently. I am good at writing English language. But I am not an articulate speaker of English.
Most times, I make big blunders while I speak. Which are not intended. I get lost for words to say while communicating to the extent that I stutter a lot I am an introvert.
When ever you are with people or discussing with people, use simple English tense
Datboredberry: Thanks... I do... But he's further away... I'm hopeful... But when your boyfriend is a Latino in another continent, it's hard to be hopeful...
But that was then... Everything between he and I is perfect now...
Time and distance have a way of making you feel single...
It's alright, try and cover the gap as quickly as you can
300whitewolves: This is really taking a toll on me, and it's getting worse day by day, am finding it difficult to keep myself in check, the harder I try the more it comes. I even make sure I don't look at a woman backside twice cos I know what that can cause. I have a girlfriend but we are far apart, and I don't want to cheat on her. Please my fellow nairalanders help me out of this situation. Konji na bastard for real.
Lionnation: He is 38, he has lots fine girlfriends frolicking arround him hoping for marriage, he wants to marry but he is broke, he made an older lady who is some year's older than him and she is doing well has an 3 bedrm apartment where she stays alone, willing to link him up with connections in his business only after marriage, and ready to support there wedding, she gets angry easily but can be controlled, what should he do, please advice him
Since he is broke and jobless he is already handicapped
Let him settle down with the one that have something doing to sustain both of them
But he must humble himself else, if he gives her problems she may turn him to house help and still pays him salary
one2vita: So there's this man that beats his wife to the extent he breaks her rib and gives her a black eye. I'm looking for Any Organisation That Protects Women and Children Against Domestic Violence so that they can handle the issue.
Who knows, by the time you get an NGO to save her it may be too late
Is her father's family aware of the inhumane treatment on her
Has she been complaining and wants to move out but couldn't
Is the husband highl on some thing or juts display of madness
My husband took his bag and left the house after an argument and have been gone for over a week now, trouble started when he came back and told me he wanted to hire a particular girl to work with him,this girl was working with his friend before he closed up.he told me his friend beg him to hire the girl. Earlier in the week my husband told me he was going for a convention,I checked his phone and saw when this particular girl was asking him when he will be leaving the house at 7:44 in the morning,I didn't talk or made a fuss about it,so when he told me he wanted to employ this girl my suspicion grew,I asked him how does he want to pay her he told me the lady said she would work for free. I started laughing,which girl on this island would want to work for free if you don't have anything to do with her.i started bombarding him with questions; If the girl is your friend's employee how did she know about your business?My husband said he has not talked to the lady since last year but he never knew I saw the messages.
I told him to give me his phone only to see that he has been exchanging Whatsapp calls and phone calls with her.i got angry and was asking him questions he took his bag and left that night.
That was when I confronted him about the messages I saw the week before only for him to say he doesn't owe me any explanation.
I am deeply hurt that he would want to employ a person he has a secret relationship with and has the mind to tell me about it.he deletes any conversation he has with this lady,he hides his phone and would never pick a call in my presents.
Pls how do you think I should handle this,I told him the only way I would ever listen to him is if he tell me where he went with that lady on that Saturday. Calling her sounds desperate and I don't like fighting my fellow lady because of a man.your opinion pls
They must have been dating and wants to be together for work reasons so that they won't be far from each other
Don't confront the girl the issue here is your husband
Find a way and bring him back home but make sure you keep demanding for what you need at home in a polite manner so that he won't detect that you want him to spend more at home than for that lady
The more responsibilities he have at home the less he will spend out
Af for the lady, erase her from your thoughts because they will definitely date
1Rolake: Please I need nairalanders advice. I'm in dilemma.
I'm sorry the story is long please take your time and sorry for any mistakes.
My sister and her husband got married late 2018, she was pregnant then. Few months after their marriage the husband lost his job. He was sacked because he embezzled over 5m from his company.
Note: he dated my sister for only a year before their marriage and only bought a phone (infinix) for my sister during their courtship. He has no car nor a house from this money.
We got to know that he is a chronic gambler. He can bet 200k on a single game.
For 2 years he was out of job, my sister supported him and never complained, we also do not have problem in my family. We didn't even act as if we know that he was out of job for that 2yrs. After my sis gave birth the MIL stayed with them for a year with my sister footing the bills, the MIL eats only Amala every night and my sister covers every damn expenses and still cook for the house. She takes care of her family without complaints.
The problem is that the husband is never satisfy, never appreciate my sis for a day and always complain anytime she did not cook for those 2yrs. He has pushed my sister to collect loans of 40k twice from LAPO without paying back. He sold almost all the properties at home for betting, they have no TV, nor fridge.
In late 2021 he got a job in a restaurant with a salary of 80k and he promised to be given my sister 25k every month. Since then until now he has never given my sister 1penny from the 25k, he has never bought a clothe nor shoe for his child since he was born. He use his salary to either womanize or Bet. He has borrowed money in almost all the loan apps and my sister keep receiving messages from this loan apps almost everyday, I've also received a message from them before. Their landlord asked then to leave his house because they couldn't pay for house rent and he kept receiving messages from this loan Apps too. He doesn't talk to my sister, they live as neighbors in the house. They only share greetings at home unless he wants to ask my sister for money. They behave as strangers, always shut my sister off.
His company kept 150k with him for 2days and he used the money to play betting not until they start chasing him with calls before he borrowed the money from his sister to settle the bills.
He no longer go to work again, he told my sister yesterday that he has resigned because he's working on a project that will give him twice his investment. We're suspecting that he was sacked (job not up-to 6months)
So last year I advised my sister to start a Thrift so that she can be saving her money and use the money to start a business this year.
My sis called me today and told me that her husband has resigned. He no longer go to work and I advised her to get an apartment outside and give the man space. She has advised him so many times, pray for him, supported him. Uptil today we've never questioned the man, we just want him to treat my sis right but he's not ready to change.
Please nairalanders what do you think we can do? Do you think I gave my sister the right advice?
I don't really want my sis to divorce her husband. But she cries almost everyday.
The worst is that this man has not learnt any lesson and until he is neck deep, he before he will realize that his mates have gone far
Help your sister to get a single room accommodation and pack out, let her drop the child with your parents so that she can fine her bearing
Let the man have enough time to gamble and womanize since that is his duty on earth
Until the man gets an accommodation and something doing, then show signs of responsibility and commitment
alwayscool: I am 32 years old and married and my wife is 27 years old and beautiful..we had been maaried for 5 years from now and have normal sex life..now my father is coming to stay with us for 4-5 months,as my mother has expired 3 years back and my father now stays in village with other family memebers,now he has come to us to stay for 4-5 months...i stay here with my wife,2 yrs old daughter,,my father is 56 years old and heatlier than me,my father is alone now,but in my childhood he has done a lot for me,educated me,made me a succesfful man,now i want to take care of him for next 4-5 months..can it be ok,if i convince my wife to have sex with my father,while i m outside?can it be ethical ?i want my beautiful wife to sex with my father,alhough she talks very normally with my father,how can i convince her for sex ?i know its bad,but i want this to happen just for 4-5 months.please advice me how to convince her..is my wife seductive?pic of my wife attached..
Supremedrizzy: I am in a very unpleasant situation right now, a situation I never envisaged I would find my self in. I met a girl early this year and things have been so fast paced between us that it seems we have known each other forever. She has spent every weekend since the day we met in my place.
I've a serious girlfriend of over four years but I'm scared this lady is pushing her into oblivion. She came around after one of the lady's visit and she noticed I wasnt feeling her like before, to be honest I was thinking of the other lady.
Some might say the sex got me hooked but its far from that, the sex was just average in fact I still enjoy sex with my main gf more. She just has this ability to make me happy, most times guys are tasked with the responsibility of making ladies smile but the reverse is the case here. Any time spent with her is simply glorious. I was suffering from depression before I met her but her presence makes me forget all my problems, we would play around like kids all day. We would make plans of her spending like two days with me and she would end up spending five days and that's cos I would eventually force her to go. Even when she leaves we still talk on phone every four hours, we spend almost 3 hours gisting on whatsapp call late into the night before we sleep on daily basis.
My issue is that this lady has a boyfriend that is bankrolling her expensive lifestyle, she claims not to love him and they argue all the time over the phone but she can't leave him. She's never asked me for anything, in fact she rejects anything I give her even transport fare.
I don't want to fall in love with this babe cos she seems to have a lot of baggage, I planned this to be a FWB just like I do with other side chicks but I'm here catching feelings which is so unlike me. I am enjoying the moment but I have a feeling this wont end well.
How do I cut off from her totally, I know this relationship won't lead to anything serious and will only complicate things for me. She clashed at my place last week with another babe that I have known for over 3 years and I surprisingly asked the older babe to leave. My guys were shocked.
She's making me weak and needy which is something I detest so much. I asked her to come over for the weekend and she declined because she has a serious appointment on Sunday. I felt bad, ladies are the ones that usually call to come over and I make my choice.
I once deleted her contacts but still had to go back to Facebook to get it from our chats. I know her kinda girl, she would eventually get tired of everything and probably dump me which is something that has never happened to me, I want to dump her first. She is in control of our relationship and I want to turn the tables. The spirit is willing but the heart is weak.
My fellow gees help me out please
If you are sure you want to end the relationship
Tell her your girlfriend came to inform you that she is pregnant and she is packing into your house by weekend
Unless you are too weak to speak out, then enjoy the fun of dating her
Mercychen: My little friend just came this evening and told me they are relocating. I've been feeling somehow since then.
Since that evening, Shes been with me. I took her strolling. Got her small goodies but she refused to go home until few mins ago when the Mom came to call her to go to bed. I'm going to miss her.
She tried consoling me ( when she saw my mood) by promising to come and see me from time to time. ( Small girl with her thinking) I just laughed it off. How is that even possible? I told her, "Mommy won't allow you to come all the way alone". Wish I can keep her though but I couldn't bring myself to ask if she can live with me.
I don't know how I just came to form such a strong bond with an outsider.
RiRi, I'm going to miss you.
You can birth a child and love her more that this little girl
gazeup1: I created this new handle to hide my identity.
I got married 11 years ago. We both started working before we got married, but my salary was way above my wife's own. I was earning 195k while she was on 108k when we got married, after my MSC, I was promoted and started to earn 350k, this got to me and I started to misbehave, I was doing all sorts and would insult the hell outa her. As the cry cry girl, she would cry, and thereafter I would hear her praying. At times she would say she will one day be greater than me. That to me was an impossibility.
I can't even remember ever giving her money for home keep but we never lacked food at home (we delayed before having kids, so I don't see the need for me to give her monthly money and she never asked). I started giving her after we had kids. She agreed when I told her her money was for the home and mine for investment, but I never included her name in my properties. she knows this as well.
After our kids, it became very demanding, coupled with her office not increasing her pay, she resigned, and that was when I felt the impact of her income. Meanwhile, her pay was reduced to about 80k and mine was increased to like 600k as at when she resigned. In one month I started asking her to return back to her work as to me I was not ready to foot her bills, she never even asked for money, she would even say what I gave her is left 5k or more self at the end of the month.
Now her new journey - When I started disturbing about going back to her former office or getting a new job, she said never and asked me to stop giving her money but go to market to buy food myself. In less than 4 months to her resignation she started talking about online job here and there, I thought it was a scam so I warned her. One day, I was in the office when she said she needs me to help her wit the best laptop to buy, I tried to talk her down on buying one but she ended the call on me.
I got home to see her with a new laptop. fast forward, she paid for a training on how work from home without my knowledge, got her first job of about $200, I also washed her down on going that low for such an amount but she said it was better than her former 80k job, before I knew it, she started talking about $1,000, now it's $3,000, to $4,000 monthly. I earn lower than #1M, my wife gets over #2M monthly working from home. She helped me finished my house project, very transparent and would not hide any $ she earns.
I have not been able to forgive myself of all the things I did to her, the insults, talking down on her but in a way I think I pushed her to become who she is now. I remembered when she asked back then to open a joint account with her, I laughed her to scorn, like how would the ratio be. she saved over 6M and credited my account with everything, just for us to complete our home. I can't even produce 1M.
She doesn't seem hurt, but sometimes she reminds me of those words, I have never officially told her sorry neither have I really changed because I am just like that, I don't mean evil. I wanted her to braze up and never stay low.
Married, men, please how do I ask for her forgiveness? I don't think we have up to 2% of her type out there.
Since you acted considerably, seat her down one mind night and confess to her and ask for forgiveness
She has every records of what you did to her
I pray she doesn't pay you back
Meanwhile after the apology, tell her to accompany you to reflect her names in the property documents
She will be willing to do more but prove love to her
buchizy: pls i need an opinion on this, a friend of mine got pregnant for a guy, the guy was supposed to pay her bride price and marry her but he said he doesn't want to marry her. After giving He abandoned the girl and the child for about 4yrs . now the guy is chatting the lady and sending her messages that he wants his son. and that he will go to court and human right to take his son whom he abandoned for 4yrs since birth. What should this lady do.
The man is already getting it wrong
No one is contesting that the child is not his own
He should have started with making friend and peace with the lady
Let him go to court, court will still grant the woman the baby after she narrates her own experience then allow the father to visit the child at an agreed place or location
A Nigerian woman, Elizabeth Oyeyomi, burst into tears of joy recently after her husband, Damilare Oyeyomi, serving in the US Army, surprised her at work after 11 months of being deployed overseas.
He recently called her and told her he would be away for another 6 months. A heartbroken Elizabeth took it in good stride, only for him to pull off a pleasant surprise at her office.
Love is very sweet and warm for those who have the right partner
I have a relation who lost his means of income (white collar job) over 5 years ago. He has tried his hands in catfish farming to no avail after not breaking even in rearing to maturity and selling. He also tried backward integration in the Value chain of catfish farming by going into hatchery but yet to break even till date. He's about to dispose a land to invest in this catfish hatchery and I don't forsee him making profit.
Please what do you think a man of that age can do as his children are graduates trying to find their feet and not dependent on him.
He can be selling food stuff depending on his area of residence
CHIMAOBICCU: Pls nairaland I have the intention of being a wicked man but I, don't know how to be, Can anyone give me tips on how to be a wicked man thanks.
Pasima: Good morning nairalanders, seriously this rape of a thing I always hear on nairaland land I thought is only for the weak men who don't have self control and I hate it. Let me go straight to the point my girlfriend and I have been dating for months now and we are happy together and do have misunderstanding she denied me sex for two months today she came I lost control and pounce on her my thing was so hard I av already pull her dress before I got hold off my self she was crying I told her that I am sorry she left and vow not to visit me again. I am crying all day.
You are the owner of your third leg and should be able to discipline your third leg
That's how it starts, before you know it, you go out and mess up then get the beating of your life
AdesewaAde: I’m really heartbroken and I don’t know how to go about this,I’ve been feeling cold since then.
I will make it brief,we are set to pick our wedding date,so we were having a discussion on phone last week and he asked me why I haven’t even prayed about our relationship,it was then I remembered that it never crossed my mind to do so,I just told him I’m not a kind of person who move from one pastor to another but I believe in my dreams,meanwhile I haven’t dreamt about him since we’ve been dating which is unusual,he insisted I must go and after lot of talkings,I told him I have an Anty who I’m sure will take me to somewhere but since then we did not talk about it .
Three days ago,he messaged me and told me that won’t I go to the place again,it was then I decided to call my anty and she said we will go to a place today,I immediately told him what she said and he said no problem.
This morning,he messaged that I shouldn’t go there again,I told him my anty will think i took her for granted,I insisted I will go,so I called my Anty and she said we should suspend it till evening,I immediately messaged him that we are not going again and he was happy .
This evening,I called my Anty and she said I should meet her at home and we headed to church,on getting there,the pastor prayed and he said,I shouldn’t marry him cause he came with a very short life ,that he will soon die and there is nothing I can do to help the situation,I wasn’t satisfied and my Anty said we should try two more places,they all said the same thing. I just summoned up courage to get home and meditate on everything,I was still on it when he called,and the first thing he asked was that “Iyawo,you’ve seen wetin you wan see and wetin you wan hear now,wetin you go do now? I was dumbfounded cause I didn’t tell him I will later go,now he has been asking what I was told there,I don’t know how to tell him the truth and I’ve been afraid sitting alone in the house since then,I suddenly started having this feeling that a ghost is sitting next to me. Can’t even stand the chance of visiting him cause I don’t know how I will feel looking at him and knowing he will soon die.
He is a good man,he’s caring ,hardworking and romantic,don’t want such a handsome guy to die just like that,I’m really sad right now .
It seems he knows a lot and wants you to find out about it
What about his parents, are they aware that something is about happening to him
Well, I will advise you tell him that he should tell his parents to take him to a place where he will be prayed for and if they see any revelation and it matches yours, then you can open up
Efe42: Hello guy's please I'm so sorry for my typing error right now I'm fill with guilt I wish I could turn backs the hands of time I'll,
I meet the girl some month's ago around November last I feel we so compatible things re going smoothly but sometimes I can't explain how I feel about her like something is blocking me or something else, note this girl has been keeping me company since my ex girlfriend break up with me I like her so much but for once I couldn't express my feelings towards her sometime I treat her bad I use mean words to talk to her, and she's wife material things quite, respectful beautiful, about last 2 weeks she said she don't want sex anymore so I call for break up I didn't know what I was doing...
After some day's I called her back to apologize to her reconcile with her but she refuse I beg this babe for 3 day's she refuse but I know deep down I hurts her with my hash word's sometimes and it hurt me more that I couldn't express my feelings towards her but she always express hers always.
during the break up I meet her up in working place to plead with her but she' was yelling so loud in the process I slap her Mistakenly I didn't slap her intentionally wish I still guilt inside and regret I can't forgive myself for what I did to her but I've begged her severally.
I even went to see her yesterday but I didn't see her and I'd see her today but same thing yelling out loud I'm so lonely right now I'm so confuse right now I wish I could turn back the hands of time I haven't begged any girl the I'd her begged her day's.
Family › Re: Urgent Help Needed!!! by frozen70(f): 11:52am On Feb 06, 2022
