₦airaland Forum

Snok58:
Thank you for time

I did not suspect then but things are adding up now. Most times we have issues and she calls my sister, we have quarreled when my mum came to enugu in September and insisted I introduce her but I didn't because my mum didn't stay long. She was always concerned about my family acceptance than mine.

I feel I should tell them that let me know how much traditional marriage entails and do it, but deep down I feel pressured.

Since you have made up your fmind to find out the cost of traditional marriage, just go ahead and finalize it

You can't be asking about it then you draw back

That will be more than an embarrassment to your family and her family

Women are always on top of their game, she is interested in your family, bring her inn let peace reign

FERNANDEZISBACK:
Does the OP sound or even seem like a bright person to you?
This is the effect of not developing himself mentally instead he brought his unintellectual self to a public forum..

The kid seriously has no idea regarding what he wrote up there..he is just a victim of lack of intelligence and he also refuse to think for himself..
Very sickening that someone will post nonsense on here without giving a practical and logical point..

Honestly ❗, you have just nailed it

MufasaLion:
Have you tried cunnilingus?

If he understands your question, he will know that he will have to kneel down for that

Unless he wants it through turning himself upside down

Bloooody:
We as Africans are far too mentally colonized by the west, it is an abomination to kneel down for a woman talk less of a nigerian woman for any reason.
Our fore father's had the women knee down before marriage but after colonization, reverse is the case!
Wake up and stop all this nonesense that this Simping generation has come to.

But you will gladly kneel down for doggy

Naijamedialog:
A woman has allegedly headed out in different directions from her beau following what she found after she checked his telephone while he was dozing.

She unlocked his phone after a few trials and found some romantic chats between him and another lady on WhatsApp.

A video shared on social media showed the moment she unlocked his phone and scrolled though his messages.

The woman was said to have ended the relationship of three years following her discovery.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH VIDEO

She can't stand it, let her go

Dating a man involves the ability to endure nonsense, because men will definitely flirt both on line and off line it gives them fun

Yet they still love the one at home

Snok58:
Good day guys.
I apologize for the long read and typos.

I met my girlfriend last year and everything has been moving fine. She was someone I intend to marry regardless of our issues. She is very loving and caring.

On my own part, I just finished my masters and I've not been able to get a good job. I used my savings to get a car and my friend gave me free accommodation in Abuja and I started uber. I'm a struggling guy but I come from a wealthy home, my father passed on recently and I control most things but I just remit them to my mum and I stopped her from giving me anything because I don't get satisfaction spending my parents money.

My girlfriend is young but she dreams of getting married early, I understand but I needed her to be industrious. I started a business for her in October which she tries a lot and she's making baby steps. I also give her stipends every month.

Our sex life is cool and I've tried using condom but she always frowned at it, so I resulted in calculating her free period, it was going well until a day she refused to tell me her cycle after we had sex. I got pissed and confronted her that I'm not ready for her to be pregnant, she said she won't and she's also not ready for it.

I came back from Abuja briefly in December and I was with her, I asked her for the cycle and she shifted the date and I miscalculated, long story short, as at yesterday she is 6weeks pregnant.

She told me the result, I asked her what should we do, she said she'll keep it but I'll have to do traditional marriage. Hmm, sincerely I did not want the child at this time. I told her I can be a father but I am not ready to be a husband, trouble erupted; she told her mum and her sister they called me I stood my ground that I'm not financially capable of setting up a family. She called my elder sister, I also did not bulge but however my sister noticed that she was building her judgment of me on my family wealth. I told my sister, I will only set up a family with only my acquired wealth and as it stands I'm only an uber driver.

I confronted my babe yesterday and it was evident that she wanted and planned for the pregnancy, she was happy. I was livid I told her that since she planned it, she should handle it that I just owe her money for the baby and delivery if she decides to keep it, and that my marriage plan will be put on hold, because I'll have to spend my savings. I was saving to do traditional marriage then travel out if things don't change. A child was the last thing on my list.

My girlfriend has blocked me everywhere and I suspect that her family are of the opinion that it's either I do traditional marriage or she removes it.

Guys my relationship is seriously threatened, I need advice vis a vis bashing

You are not someone that must he forced to go and do traditional marriage of a lady that got pregnant for you, it's not bye force

She has studied your family very well and wants to be a part of your family by tricks, so she became pregnant to achieve that

Now tell me, where you really ready to marry her, with or without pregnancy or you simply just want to keep her on hold till you get stabilized

Two things are involved here

If you want the woman, be prepared to keep the pregnancy but must not do the traditional marriage because its a way to commit you, especially if you are too sure of marrying her

If you don't want the pregnancy, and she wants it, let her keep it, be prepared to be a father and play the role you can

If she continues to block you, just leave her and her family, it's a bait to make you do their bidding

If they can't really get you, she will unblock you

They should keep their pressure to themselves

Keze01:
I don't know how to put this, I'm an extra year student in one of the federal institution. Due to some circumstances, I couldn't graduate with my colleagues.

I started learning programming a month and few weeks ago, it have been really hard to sustain myself. I really need help please. I have tried reaching out to my relatives to help me out financially in order for me to go back and finish things up in the school but no response from any of them so far.

Please, kindly help me.
Thank you very much.

What kind of help do you want from us

You didn't state the reason why you did not graduate with your mate

How come your relations are not helping have you been a naughty person to them

As it is now, you are alone on earth.

She is just weird

Seyi2730:
Good morning guys am new here
Please I need an advice
I stay Lagos and I work from home since Covid started,last year I opened a 3bed for my mom in ogun state so she has been there with my brother so since 2021 have been living a very hard life I got sack and things begin to get more harder in the process I couldn’t renew my rent in Lagos because I still say in Lagos alone,so I went for a prayer session I was told the house I stay in Lagos is a scorpion house which it hard for people to progress there,now my rent will due soon and I don’t have money to pay up and my mom telling me to move in inside the 3bed since there is a room left but deep down am having a feeling at 30 can I still stay with my mom cos to me I fell somehow , but due to my no job I couldn’t even get another apartment
Please advice me�

Accommodation is the greatest problem of man because it has no alternative

You can move down to stay with your mum while you figure out what you need to start doing

Forget about what people will say, it shouldn't be your problem

Your problem now is how to sort yourself out

Ikpeabujo:
first time I saw opposite and honest comment coming from a girl on issues concerning her fellow.... �

I always try to judge according to one's behaviour, be a man or woman
We have to say the truth though it hurts

medexico:
Hi.

I dyed my beard but now I want it back to it original color without having to dye it black, does anyone knows some remedies I can use?

Leave the hair, the dyed part will grow off then you tream it

Cherrymia:
Please can anyone recommend a good and affordable hospital in Nigeria for hip replacement surgery for my mum. Thank you.

For a common man, pls go to Igbobi hospital

Mason360:
Don't give me heartbreak There must be something that can be done.

You have to accept nature
If non of your family members have it, what about your past grandparents

Do you know more about them and their looks

It runs in the family and accept it that way

Freeze007:
Hey Fam,

I have had this persistent head-ache now for three days. Would anyone suggest a natural remedy as I do not take medicine.

Thanks in advance

Headache is a sign of a health problem

It could be stress
It could be that you have been worried for something
It could be a sign of high blood pressure

So you need to check yourself

Richy4:
That's just some people's mentality... If they don't insult anyone, They will feel as if a message has not been received/ passed across...

That's how some of them were raised from home ....

You have said it all, but it's not a good upbringing

Skyfornia:
You are a coward...you can't fight to overcome your struggles.

You don't have to insult him, you are not in his shoes

Learn to be respectful, people are going through different stages of life

Trun:
I got married some months back and I am tired of it,I got married to a very beautiful and wonderful hardworking lady but the only problem I have here is when we have misunderstanding she uses absurd words at me ,sometimes nag and always play victim when it is always clear that she is the touchy type,and sometimes hit me even if I tried to leave the house.She drags me and push me.even hit me,I don’t hit her because just one of my blow will bend her! So I squeeze her hands sometimes to get freed.she even cries like I am the one hitting her.

Now what I do is to just observe and I don't think I would be interfering to anything that deals with her anymore..

Note : I clearly saw all this signs but the issue is when ever we settled then..she would keep promising that she won't do that anymore..

I am tired of everything.

It's a behavior she has developed over time to manipulate things

Keep reminding her that such attitude isn't pleasant to you and you will appreciate she changes her ways

If she is defiant about it, neglect that part of her and watch her spoil things for herself

If she confront you for your neglects, simply tell her that she doesn't take advice and she doesn't take correction

So the best way is to overlook her

toyini1234:
I'll be 21 by July, I'm currently doing my siwes in an hospital (I'm a biochemistry 300l student). My current cgpa is a 2:1 (4pts +). I am an exco in my faculty student union. I make some money from freelance writing. Asides that I still leave with my parents.But to be honest it doesn't feel like my life has direction.. I need guidance and counselling?

Keep up your stand and you will not fall your hands

Iceprinzaaman:
Dear nairalanders.

I'll be 32 this year, and I don't have a girlfriend or fiance not to talk of planning for marriage. I'm doing well for myself, am good looking Infact one can mistake me for "Ice prince" our popular artist But the problem here is that I detest women so much.

My mom and friends have verbalized on this issue but all to no avail. I can't render help or favor to anything that wear skirts not even my own sister. At office I discuss strictly work related matters with my female colleagues anything aside from that you are on your own.

My sex life is transactional (I give her the bargained amount, Fvck her and she get out of my house). I don't have any female friend contact on my phone.

No matter the situation a lady, woman, girl, female needs my help, whether it's between life and death I will never help you and I can never ask you for help too. They said I'm wicked, proud, stingy, sadist e.t.c. and the worse thing is I don't care.

Please nairalanders I need advice/help. This my hatred for women nor be redpill again oo. Abeg help me, I might even hate my daughter too if I eventually have one ...na so E dey start.

You need a psychiatric evaluation

Wizbellar:
Hello everyone, I'm in a tight situation right now I need advice, my gf is pregnant. 6 weeks pregnant according to two scans from different hospital, but we only had sex 5 weeks ago on my birthday.
I trusted her, could it be that I'm not the one?

Please talk to me.
My head dey burst, I haven't questioned her yet, I'm scared of her doing something stupid.
Help a bro.

Some scan results can be misleading, even full pregnancy scans can't give you accurate date

So if you did slept with her that period, congratulations, she is carrying your child

If you are in doubt, you do a DNA test after delivery of the child

Ikpeabujo:
She was a very loyal girl and I knew that she loved me so much but right now I'm so confused and need some advice on what to do.
Meet her when I was in school and everything was fine. after school she lived with Me at onitsha because of financial issue and she never wanted to stay with her parents.
She was staying with me when I had an opportunity to travel to Ghana and I told her that she needs to go back to her parents because I don't support the idea of her staying alone as a woman and I shared some of my property with her.
I stayed almost two years in Ghana hustling and at a time things was not smooth For me that I don't care about anyone but my hustling even to call her was a problem and she thought that I'm beginning to forget about her and at point she will send me a message on WhatsApp threatening that if I leave her that she will never forgive me though I never took that serious.
Note: somehow or jokely I told her that I will marry her and she at the other hand promise me that I will be the only man in her life thus making me to believe that no man has sex with her all these years I'm in Ghana.
THE PROBLEM: I came back to Nigeria this year to roof my house and set something in order and eventually visit her and plan ourselves, but I was told that after I left for Ghana she never went back home to her parents but rather she stays with a man in onitsha for some months before going back to her family. I confronted her and confirm that it's true but she denied ever having sex with the guy but stayed with he because of finance ...
I'm so confused and I don't know if I'm to believe her or not. A girl that I knew Deep down in my heart that she like sex when we are together.
I just want to know if I cut her off in my life is my decision harsh or she deserves a second chance

For a girl of that age, not to be with her parents, even when you asked her to go back home and she does otherwise, means she loves comfort and can't manage the situation her parents are inn

So how am I sure she can manage life with you, if things nose dives

Well for me, for the fact that she disobeyed you and went to stay with another man

Sex or no sex with the man is inconsequential, free her let her continue the life partern she has chosen

If not for poverty or poor family, what is her reasons for not staying with her parents

She loves sex because that's what she have to offer for her to be comfortable, so for her that's not a big deal, it's a way of getting what she wants by giving what she has

FERNANDEZISBACK:
This shouldn't be for me..

It's for you because you said why should a son take permission from parents before going into marriage

Wizzy13:
Nairalanders please help a brother.


Recently i have being suspecting my girlfriend to be having affairs
with another guy.

Since i met her she told me no sex till when we are in courtship stage and planning for marriage, which i accepted her wish because of how i love her and really want to make eternity with her.


But now i have being suspecting her of having sex with her male friend cos i came across a silly chat she had with him on her phone when she was in the bathroom, After she was done bathing I confronted her but she told me that there is nothing there, i didn't talk to her for 3weeks bt she came back begging that she did nothing,
she was crying, cos of how i love her take her back.

This night i just had a dream, in my dream i was going to see her at her place, lo and behold, she was having sex with two guys and i woke up immediately and since then i couldn't sleep again,
there are many thoughts runing through my mind.

Pls what should i do

Well I read where she said no sex till you guys starts courting, so meaning you don't have control over your relationship

I only appreciate a no sex relationship when and if a woman is a Virgin

Men should wise up because the opposite sex will want to be on top of her game

FERNANDEZISBACK:
Let your parents keep joking and deceiving themselves around then..
I can't even imagine a grown up asking his parents for permission to marry someone you love..

Are they the one getting married or you?if they keep rejecting then let them stay clear off your marriage simple..

Go for what you want and stop making yourself so uncomfortable cos of what people are gonna say..

If that is the case, you are going to take their child from her parents without her parents consent

WetinIsabi:
This is a serious question. Surprisingly, I have never thought about it. I guess I will have no choice but to obey mummy and daddy!

You have reasoned well, all you need to do is to ask then to tell you their own reasons for not accepting her

CanadianNaija:
Read his comments. His brother has been trying to bring him and it hasn't worked. Seems like multiple times from his replies, which is probably why that one has gotten tired and was to give him money to start business.

It's not like his brother issues visa.

Ohh I get it now

Amb1045:
This was sent IN earlier this week by a married man living in lagos with his wife of about 5yrs and a family of 3 kids.

He complained that his wife has extremely low libido. Infact, he practically begs for sex every night and labours even harder during the act cos the wife never gets wet at all. He has grown so frustrated with this since the wife has advised him to masturbate if that would make him feel better cos she has no interest whatsoever in sex.

He is now thinking that about their miserable sex life as a couple and now thinks that perhaps the wife has a spiritual husband or cheating and really disillusioned with the marriage and turlt needs help.

What do you advise him?

If they married for love, they would have built that connection between them

But now they are done with child bearing, they will now be living like flat mates

It's either he sort himself out or accept his fate

Dainy1:
Pls mature mind in the house.
What would you advise a young lady whose husband is into betting, any salary, loan, contributions that enters his account, he wouldn't tell her, until he finished it.

They have no accommodation right now, they are squatting with a family friend.
Because the husband can not save and he is into loan.

Last night, she said she took her husband's ATM card because his salary has entered
few days ago and he has started withdrawing little by little on betting as usual. He was looking for it this morning, but she denied.
Would you advise her to go and withdraw his money without his permission? What would you advise such person?

She's my colleague and I don't want to give wrong advise.

What is she waiting for to withdraw the money and use it for the family

Is she waiting for him to make a report to his bank before she will take action

Truvelisback:
Good day, Fellas. I know being a man or woman has it's own challenges. So, i wanna hear ur views. Btw men's life and women's life, which one is harder? The other day Ilamina was saying men's life is easier because they do not carry pregnancy. I was just laughing in my heart.

Both gender have different difficult and hard ways

But it's best for a wife to be highly organised than for a husband to be a nuisance to his family

Efe42:
Hello guys please I can't say much I'm so lonely right the Girl I thought love who I've always care for with my help and advice she just got a job after a year's of sitting at home now without no reason at all she break my heart please how can I move on I need to clear my thought away far from her!!

You can't breath simply because your girlfriend left you

What happens if your are married and your wife left you and take children along, that means you will need an oxygen

Is this your first time of experiencing heart break

If yes, deal. With it because more are coming

What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger

bigpicture001:
...My friend whose dad passed on two months ago and who was so sure he will henceforth become a big boy got the shock of his life when his dad's will was read to them by his father's lawyer...

In the will his dad gave him Nothing which was unusual especially being the eldest son and coming from the Igbo tribe.. his father owns two filling station, a big and very busy half-warehouse store where he sells dangote cement wholesale, three commercial houses , a sign supermarket,3 pieces of land also one SUV and two small cars.

We suspect, it may be connected to his visibly wayward lifestyle, he has twice been sent packing from two different private University in the south east over tuancy and suspected cultism....more shocking is the late father handing over the day to day running of the firm to his oldest daughter "not his wife"

The said girl is just 24 years old but graduated as second best in the dept of economic then..his father even helped her secure a lecturing job 5months before his demise..he stated that his wife will only be an important signitory for transaction worth a million and above.

He added a clause that his son can join the management of the firms and estate only when he graduates from any University with at least a pass and record less than 7police cases before he turns 28..

Even at that he can eventually take over the firm after joining management for minimum 4years...

Abeg oo. is this. Dead man not wicked... Allowing a girl lead the house when her mum is still alive.. although she is older than the guy.. sh is the first child

His father is not wicked, he gave his will according to his heart desires

That guy is not serious with his future

So, since his daughter is the only sensible and serious person among them all,

Let her go ahead and wear the shoe that fits the crown

mattmogan88:
This is my story. I will try and make it brief.
I've been struggling ever since I left secondary school in 2014, since then I've made a lot of mistake, first mistake was waiting for my parents and siblings to dictate my future for me.

2015 i did computer training, 2016 i Learnt how to repair laptop and desktop but there was no capital to start up my own. So i wasted 2017 sitting idle at home which was my second mistake.

2018 my family members pushed me to go Lagos and learn trade (Auto parts), which is popularly know as boyi. That too didn't go well , i spent only 2 months in Lagos and went back to the village.

2019 i started phone charging business, but competition was too much for me, my expenses was way too much than my income so i had to close down.

Ending of 2019, i opened a video game center, 2020 COVID-19 strike and everywhere was on lockdown, so i Hardly see customers coupled with maintenance of the business. Business wasn't going as i anticipated. I closed down on December 2020, which was my third mistake.

2021, i started working as a bet9ja cashier, insults and life threatening was too much coupled with deptors, i managed to save up to 250k and resigned on December 2021.

Currently this 2022 am jobless and my savings is gradually decreasing, am now afraid of doing another thing and failing/quiting within a year. Depression is creeping into me small small. I don't know what to do again, am kind of hopeless. I want to venture into fashion designing but I've got to learn it first.

Please guys help a brother, your inputs and advice will be appreciated.


Lalasticlala
Myd44

I like your struggling spirit, keep it up but this time hand everything to God and get his approval first