₦airaland Forum

Just4test:
Please i would like to take some minutes from your busy schedule to explain to you all i really have to say.

I know this section is filled with married men and women.You might have come across this issue before or about to,i really need a very good advice...I am very sorry,this will be lenghty.

My current age 30 years old man,left my parent's house when i was 24.I currently live alone but i have a fiance about to get married soon.

The issue on ground is about my family,I have a younger sister.She got married last 3years..and moved into a new apartment with her husband.
Ever since she got married have not been having peace due to the financial state of her husband.I really don't know what happened all she told me was it was this and that..

I have sent hundreds of thousands for her to keep for my parent,Her and her husband spent the whole money without proper documentation.

Last 2 years,she gave birth and one way or the other i and my parent cater for all the needs..she had to bring the baby to my place for about a month since they believe the house was evil..This i never believed but i accepted in good fate.

Sometimes,she would just wake up one morning and tell her husband she is coming to my place?for what?
This kept on happening ,until last year.Their landlord asked them to move out of the house.I am managing a room and parlour self,and just planning to buy some little things just to prepare me for marriage..They were living in 3 bedroom flat.Immediately,the landlord asked them to leave,all she could think of was to bring all their 3 bedroom loads to my place..I rejected that but my parent knew about all this right from when they were spending all the money i sent to her to keep for them..so i can be free..

My parent intefered that i should please accept all the loads..the loads was too much..i collected it all since last year june,they told me it will just be for 1 month.

All my plans were now on hold,i am not progressing in my life as my house have been turned into store,i still have the loads in my house as i am typing this.
I explained all to my partner,she would always accept what i do.She doesnt argue anything with me.

My business was not improving since the very day i accepted all the loads,my business just turned upside down..

Last year september,she picked a fight with me because i refuse to allow her stay with me..even when i still can't breath with the loads here..
She called me all sort of names,Said i am proud because i have a sef contain and many abusive worda at me.

December last year my business started getting better but couldnt pay my rent as we speak.

Mum pleaded for us to settle last month,I told mum..have forgiven her but i need time to just forget all the insultives words she used at me..

The problem i am having is she is just too selfish,why should it be her alone?and she havent learnt that i love my privacy so much
And what if i am married is that the way she will be disturbing my peace up and down.
The annoying part is my parent are in side of her that i should allow her stay..after all the insults have recieved from her..

why should it be me?i don't have my life anymore
I just feel like taking just one bag and leave they should not even have my contacts anymore..this i told my mum.

I am tired,just tired.This night i was able to say enough words to my parent because i was so annoyed.
They might end up saying it was my patner's decision in which it was mine..i just love my privacy.
Please,Those who are my elders in this please help me..I am so hurt.

Don't allow other people's sluggishness slow your speed

They have arrived and can't go unless you leave them there and pack out, if they can't pay the rent, the landlord will chase them out

You have to move on, you are too soft to plan, you think your woman accepts anything you say,
No ❗❗
Time will come when she will react and by that time you too will understand that you have been used

Move out and tell them that you have gotten a place to stay that you need your privacy

If you think you can't do that, then get a room and pack their things there, carry them to the place and show then their new apartment

If you keep allowing them, you will end up paying their school fees

You have to take the bold step.
As for your parents, let them talk and beg you, don't argue with them and don't say yes or no, say you have heard, just ignore them and move on

By the time they discover that you are not a push-over, they will free you

rottencorpse:
I'm still wondering why I despise women

If it extends to your mother, then you are not normal

But if you love your mum and hate women.. Just remain the way you are for life

Ilamina:


Even if, you are so polite and innocent around them

They are uncort by default

He has no option

He has to do it

dan2090:
Hello Nairalanders,


I been having issue with my relationship lately.

When a lady says its the responsibility of a Man to show Love first as in Show love in full in a relationship before he can be entitled to that same LOVE.


What those this really mean?


I need experienced advise.

For a guy to toast a lady, he miyst have liked her and that will trigger love and so he wants to get closer to her and explore love

It's your display of love that will ignite her own love then as the relationship blossoms, herive for you becomes the oil in the wheel

So men loves first and women follow up

Unless you just want a one stand and forget about her after that

Richard7777777:
Good mrn ya all, 

Before I start and b4 some of you starts bashing me, I will be visiting d clinic later today as regards the topic.


So back to the topic.

It all happened on tuesday, I was tryna have sex with my fiancee in d nite and I suddenly loss erection after a while without cuming (we had sex once in d mrn). Later dat same nite I was aroused nd same tin happened, so we slept, at that point I became a bit worried and the anxiety of wat was wrng actually made me try again on wednesday mrn and I didnt even last long this time before my erection was off.

Since that Wednesday till dis very min, it has become worse in the sense dat, I cant even maintain erection or even try to penetrate, as soon as I try to insert, my erection is gone.

The tin is I actually have normal erection in d mrn and also mayb wen i am alone sometimes, buh getting a strong erectIon for penetration isnt der since wednesdays.. if at all the erection comes, before I penetrate it is gone again

This is actually getting me so worried because I knw I am a gud performer wen it comes to sex, like sometimes I can go 3rounds to 4rounds in a day.

I donno if its anxiety issues. Cos the only tin I knw I have been anxious abt now aside this erection issue is d fact that my weddn is supposed to be next mnth buh this whole pandemic has changed alot of my future plans, buh even at me been worried abt that, I was still able to have gud sex.

I also took one harbal mix for sugar on thursday, which made me purge, also, in d last 2 weeks I have nt take mineral, I have even been taking more of tiger nut and date juice.


Plss doctors in d house any advice

Stop taking those herbal mixture before it makes you have erection dysfunction

Stop taking anything mineral or sugar outrightly

Then the stress on you can trigger such

Visit your doctor for further analysis

IvarDboneless:
Hello friends..I greet all of una.

please I need more insight on this from our matured and experience couple's in the house.

I am planning on divorcing my wife and we have a baby together (she will be a year and 3months this month) and she's threatening to have custody of the baby and I want to go pick her up and take her to my mum but I am a little bit confused so please I need more insight on this....

NB: after our marriage things got worst for me and I had to move her to her parent house after she declined going to our own house reason because she feels more at home in her parent house (that's what she said) but once in a while she visits our own house. we finally finished our own building with furnishing and i insisted she move to my parents after complaining Everytime about money and things not so well at her own parents( she's the last child of 7children 4 girls 3boys and she is the only one married and they all still stay at home, with there parent, the girls) but she always find one excuse or the order not to go stay at my parents..my mum is a very kind woman and she always want to help in her own way but I still don't know why she can't leave her parent house..well this is not the reason am divorcing her anyway bexause this is just a tip of the iceberg..she believes she is a feminist and can not be told what to do anytime we have an argument...well don't want to bore you all with everything have been going through...
just more insight about the heading above please..kids please stay away matured minds only..thanks

Which ever way it goes, the child most definitely be given to her

Just schedule how you will be visiting the child

Natural441:
A wife asked her husband to drop her off at a friends house, where a wedding reception was taking place. He responded that he would be too busy throughout the day in the office, and gave her some money to use as taxi for transport.
He left for the office.
The wife took a Taxi to the wedding reception, there she met a fine girl and they got talking to each other. Soon they became friends.
In the evening when everyone was leaving, the Girl asked the Woman how she was going home. She replied that her husband was too busy in the office to pick her up so she would use a taxi. The Girl responded; "My
boyfriend brought me here and would be coming to pick me up. I just spoke to
him on the phone and he's on his way. Why don't you join me in his car and we would drop you at your house.
The woman agreed.
A few minutes later, her husband's car arrived. The Girl jumped into the front passenger's seat of the car and asked the Woman to sit at the backseat, which she did, confused and
perturbed. Then the Girl introduced her new friend to her boyfriend. When the
man turned around to greet the woman.......ghen ghen......he found out that the woman sitting at the backseat is his wife.
Nothing much was said along the way. The wife also kept her cool.
He dropped the wife at home first as planned and proceeded to drop the Girl at her house.........
Now, the question:
1. If you were the wife, what would you do when your husband returns home?
2. If you were the husband, what would you say to your wife when you return home.
Please its an open discussion, we want to learn from your view.

If am the wife, I will ask him to either drop her and Puck me or drop the both of them and drive the car back myself then wait for him when he comes back

DonroxyII:
Some women ain't interested in cooking ... I have a girl (I like cooking at home) ... I usually cook for her ... She says "ThanGod you sabi cook, I won't have a problem when we marry" .... I told her point blank you can't compare a feminine hands and touch to a dude's... No reason am, I won't marry and be cooking unless for romance or absolutely necessary ...

You are right

If a man should master the act of making love

Then a woman should master the cooking skills

Twinkletwin:
I'm a man aged 35. I discovered that my long
time best friend was dating my wife. I have all the evidence . She is 25 years old. We got married and had a white weeding last year in April. My best friend is 45 .
My friend of over 15 years has been seeing my wife behind my back. I found out about it last year December. My good friend was always exchanging messages and nude pictures with my wife on Whats App. I hacked my wife's phone and thats how i discovered what was happening between them . I dont want to lie guys this broke my heart. I trusted my friend and took him as my own brother. When i found out i decided not to ask them. Instead I made a desicion to act as if i dont know anything. I wanted to revenge.
My feelings towards my wife changed. I just started acting up and i no longer treat her as i did before . With my friend I am pretending as if all is well .
For my revenge I decided to look for my friends daughter who happens to be a student in one of the Universities close by to my residence. She is 19 years old.
I approached her with the intent of dating her. After a while of trying, I succeeded in having her as my friend and now we have been dating. Im so happy because i actually succeeded. The best part is i have been sleeping with her with no protection. We recently discovered she is now pregnant . The issue now is she has fallen in love with me to the extent of saying she wants me to marry her. As for me i dont have a problem with that.
As it is I'm waiting for the day they will discover that she is pregnant and we exchange i take his daughter and he takes my wife.

Whatever decision you will take, you are right in your own way

Onyiamaogu:
https://repnaija.com.ng/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/abusive-1_RepNaija.jpg
A lesbian lady has taken to her social media page to share photos of the bruises she obtained as a result of physical abuse from her partner.

The lady while sharing the photos, urged anyone in an abusive relationship to ‘Get Help’ and not put up with anyone laying their hands on them.

Sharing the photos, she wrote;



See photos below;

https://repnaija.com.ng/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/abusive1_RepNaija.jpg
https://repnaija.com.ng/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/abusive2_RepNaija.jpg

More Photos: https://repnaija.com.ng/omg-lesbian-lady-shares-photos-of-bruises-she-got-from-her-abusive-partner/

Serves you right

funkmrflexx:
My girlfriend is denying me sex. When we first started dating our sex life was great. But in these past few months she always refused sex. She'll give excuses like she's tired, she's not in the mood. Anytime I want to touch, she'll remove my hand from her body,
This started when she came from school. She come to my house from school sometimes. We can stay a whole month without sex. (she can be with me for two months, so I'm sure she's not getting it outside) She won't even be bothered, she's very hard working. She cooks, cleans and a very good wife material. My family loves her.
But the issue now is sex. I can't be in the house with my girlfriend for two months and no sex. I'm not the type of guy that cheats but I'm thinking about it.
What I'll do is I'll stop asking her. Stop touching her in anyway. If kinky hold me. I'll go outside because I don't want to spoil our relationship because of sex

What do you think ?

Assuming it continues like this and you get married to her, will you keep getting it outside and for how long

It's time you seat her down and find out what the major problem is

If she has no hood reason, you guys can agree to suspend sex forever, if you don't want to loose her

NDIOGAH:
I am asking how many rounds of sex is appropriate for married couple per day.

You are not in any sex competition

Even after the first round, you may not need another one because you would have been satisfied if you did cum

Even the family financial challenges will just allow you to go once

funkmrflexx:
We Have Been Dating For 1 Year and 6 months now. I’ve met her parents, we wanted to get married last year but her dad told me to wait till she finishes school which is supposed to be next year. I’m 25 years old and she’s 22 .

I live alone in the city while my mom lives in the village. My younger sister who I’m sponsoring through school sometimes comes to my place during holidays and weekends. My girlfriend practically lives with me because she comes from a type of an Abusive family. So she lives with me and I even assist her with school fees and house rents sometimes. I’ve spent even more than her father for her school.

Everyone In my family knows her and she’s a very wonderful girl. Typical wife material. She supports me every time even when I’m broke. I’m not the type of guy that dates a lot of girls . I don’t even cheat on her. Since I met her I’ve done away with a lot of ladies. I’m 100% committed to the relationship

But the problem is that she Has very bad anger issues. I mean she can destroy your property when she’s angry and I’m the quiet type. I don’t like hitting a lady execpt once in a while a general brain resetting slap. When she starts she doesn’t listen to anyone. Not me, not even her parents. So anytime she’s angry like this I will just find a way to make her laugh. Both of you can just be eating and she will get angry if you ate the fleshy part of the meat and left oily part for her (we have quarreled because of that I mean serious quarrel) . Sometimes I get tired of the whole situation. At the end even when she’s wrong I’ll let her for peace to reign. So I try to manage the anger at home so it shouldn’t go out

So we went to visit my mom in the yesterday. Because of curfew we slept over. So my mom bought us mangos this morning and told us to carry.

My girlfriend then said she doesn’t like mango that if I want to eat my mango I should carry it myself. Then my mom (she is the type that always shouts at every body. The real wahala woman) told her that if she can’t carry the mango then she should just put it on my head for me to carry na (If you no fit carry the mango u for kuku put am for e head make e carry am na).

That was the only thing my mom said. Then she sparked. Started shouting at my mom. That she should stop talking to her like that, that she doesn’t like it. In fact she’s going home. So she carried her bag and started going home. Every one in the compound started saying it’s ok (Na dat thing why dem tell u Dey make u Dey vex so) she was still shouting. I was even try to calm her down but no way. She was still shouting. Even my sister who had never seen her angry before became angry (na so you b? She said). I was really disappointed In her

The issue is what even made me angry is how she reacted. If she didn’t like what my mom said made her angry. At least she should have waited till we got home (this was the first time we were both sleeping over) then she would tell me. Or she could have called my sister and told her what my mom said. After all the fracas, she went inside the room till we left. I just told everybody to just leave her.

So when we got home I told her what she did was wrong that she shouldn’t have reacted like that. Na there war start. She started yelling and shouting at me that if my mom talks to everyone like that she won’t take it (my plan was to tell her that she should apologize to her. Because my mom already apologized that she won’t talk to her again like that. Which I know she will o . So we can just forget about the issue. But she never accepts she’s wrong ) She said I took her to my village to intimidate her in front of my family people, I was really angry and called her uncle and told him what happened. He said there was nothing wrong with what my mom told her (If you no fit carry the mango u for kuku put am for e head make e carry am na) and that he would talk to her .

I even scolded my mom before I left that I didn’t like what she said what she did that’s she was just causing issue. My girlfriend said when my mom said the word (If you no fit carry the mango u for kuku put am for e head make e carry am na) that I should have immediately rebuked my mom. But me sef no see anything wrong with what my mom said( If you no fit carry the mango u for kuku put am for e head make e carry am na)

I just Dey follow her uncle advise and leave her be until she calms down and I talk to her

So my people what’s offensive in this word? If you no fit carry the mango u for kuku put am for e head make e carry am na)

But this her attitude don tire me. Break up is not on the card for me at least not yet. She always thinks that they are other guys out there because she has a lot of toasters but I know they can’t do quarter of what I’m doing for her. In this modern time it’s difficult to see a guy who will allow his girlfriend stay with him thereby losing his freedom to do certain things. A guy who doesn’t cheat, a guy who takes care of her does everything for her .

I just think the things she went through in her family is affecting her physiological. And sometimes when I think about leaving her I feel pity because she can’t go back to her parents house.

That lady is vicious and be ready to see all what happens in quarreled homes in your own home

The first mistake was keeping her in your house and paying all the expenses on her head, even more than what the father paid

She is a victim of aggressive polygamous family and it has eaten deep into her

Forget about wife material, a woman that gets triggered and aggressive will never respect you or your family

Why do you pity her because she can't go back to her family, what's your business with that if she can't appreciate you taking her into your house and give her the peace she is not use to

Anyway, if you are ready to be drinking panadol and taking BP drugs for the rest of your life marry her

notok:
How?
What makes them entitled to it

Why did you bring them to this world

SirMichael1:
Okay.

In simplier terms, the liver filters blood coming from the digestive tract while the stomach digest food through the help of the acid and periodical contracting of the stomach wall, thereby churning the food in the process.

Thanks

SirMichael1:
Liver doesn't shread food nor does it digest food, the stomach does. The beans will come out in one piece 'cause the stomach wall and acid isn't yet capable of churning the food.

Differentiate between liver and stomach pls

notok:
I've observed that some Western billionaires and millionaires have made it known that they wouldn't be leaving anything for their children and family. Personally I support this opinion , I think the only thing parents owe their kids are; good education , shelter , food , clothing and a memorable childhood . But should kids really get anything from their parents?

You are talking about western world

Talk about Nigeria as a context

If you don't give your children chance to inheritance then be ready to loose it all

Morningstar12:
Hello everyone, please bear with me this is going to be a long read but I'll try and make it as short as possible as I can and bear with me if there are any errors. I need advice on how to go about a situation now that's eating me up even as I type these words I'm so angry and sad..

So here goes my story :
I'm the last born of a family of four. My oldest sister, immediate older brother and my mother. Then me. We are suppose to be five though but my oldest brother died when I was just 3 years old.. My Dad left when I was just a foetus in the womb and threatened to kill my mother on the day of my birth but I'm glad I could made it out alive safely. He left then been to be with another woman that bore him 3 sons one of the boys is a year older than me. Tells you about his extra marital affairs He's been seeing this woman while with my mother I don't want to go into so much details about that. I completed 24 last month. I couldn't proceed with my education due to lack of finance and had to learn a tiling skill though I don't get jobs to do always but I get a contract from time to time. I have a passion for music and I've written a couple of songs which I plan to record soon. I have big dreams, plans I want to see come to fruition. I have been able to save up 550k in my savings account and now I'm planning on relocating to the city because I still live with my mom and my older sister in our family house no one lives there except us. I have my own room there though I don't like to see it that way because any family member that visits likes to sleep in that room. Last year I had it painted, bought a carpet and a plasma 32" TV and also a generator set to provide us electricity and keep us entertained. Though it's a room but it also serves as a parlour because my uncle from the city brought back some of his chairs and properties from the city when his wife and kids left him so we had to put the chairs there and some of his clothes with Ghana must go are kept separately in one corner just to secure them. My uncle left afterwards anyways. This house we live in now was built by maternal grand Dad. It's an old mud house but was plastered and you wouldn't even notice because it was the trend back then and this house is just along a few walks away from a major express road outside. It has two stores rented out. The problem I'm having now is my immediate older brother. He left last year to the city because he's into Tailoring and was making use of one of the rooms inside as a store instead of renting a proper store after he was done with learning but my mother didn't mind thinking he is only making use of it temporary to make some money to rent a proper store. It has been almost five years now since he's been sewing in that room and he doesn't seem like someone who wants to leave.
The first quarter of last year he decided that he wanted to relocate to the capital city though we advice him against it and encouraged him to check out some semi cities but he refused and told us that's where his future is. It actually took 2 years of announcing to everyone that he wants to travel before he actually traveled. Meanwhile while he was making use of that room in the family house for a temporary store he rented a room in the town 20 mins drive away from where we live. Before leaving for the capital city he discharged everything he had even gave his small bed away to a friend and brought back a few electronics and kept in my mother's room..

My sister gave birth to her baby last November and he came back then. He told us he came because of the baby. He went back after a week and during the season that's last December he called and told us he's coming back to do some seasonal work because this time people want to see new wears and his customer base is here. He said he'll go back afterwards but since then he has been here squatting with me inside the room. He traveled one time and told us he went to rent an apartment there for 230k in warri because now he sees the life in Abuja is expensive and for the rich. Can you imagine it's going to six months now since he came back from that travel and he's still here.
My sister is also a tailor though don't get much work to do now due to the lockdown and my mother only provides what she gets from her farm I had to take on the responsibility of making sure that there's money to buy food at home every market. He would eat and not bother and when my mother approaches him about it he would get defensive that he's not working anymore which is a lie. He puts on his Gen to sew most times because people still come around. It got to a point where I got fed up with the whole situation and my mother decided not serve him food anymore until he provides. He is five years older than me he's 29 now and since almost two weeks now he eats by himself. He doesn't even care if his mother gets something to eat I had to take on that responsibility. Just last two weeks we got into a heated argument that led to some exchange of words and I don't care if you are older I give it to you hot if you try to take advantage of me. He insults me says he will give me a beating. I don't want to fight him though. Just tonight we got into another fight that almost got physical my mother has to intervene and her shouting attracted our neighbors. She hasn't been feeling that strong and she was complaining of headache tonight.. I'm so tired of the whole situation. I just need my privacy and peace of mind. I told my mother I'll look for any room to rent somewhere and she pleaded with me not to make some rash decisions.

I'm confused and need help is 550k enough to relocate to a semi city like Akure? I plan to relocate with a close friend though and we've been saving up. We plan to get maybe a two room self contain. Look for tiling jobs to do there and indulge in other things to better our lives. I plan to pursue my passion in music too.

What do you guys think?
Sorry for the long epistle I was waiting for this pandemic thing to be over before I take a leap but I don't like living in the same room with my brother and we don't talk to each other anymore. The sight of him makes me uncomfortable and angry now

At this stage, you have to relocate to anywhere you think you can find your star

You have to be very careful with your brother, he may hurt you and nothing will happen, worst case, he will go to jail

Lastly, your friend must not know that you have such amount of money with you else it will be squandered

Be economical and be wise because if you fall no one will raise you up except God

As for your mum, she will cope until you find your bearing

mrfree:
Make una come out

You are married for 20 years, you and hubby only have three beautiful girls. His family are the type that believe a male child is more important and a must have. So you feel terrible that you haven't given your husband a male child. He assures you that he is okay without a male child...
Hubby falls ill and critically requires a kidney transplant or he will die and you turn out to be a match, because you love him you decide you will donate your other kidney to him. One day in preparation to go to the hospital for surgery you where getting all paperwork sorted out. You come across your husband Will and you go through it and you find out that your husband has 3 boys with one woman like that and he left 90% of his wealth for those boys and their mother and only leaving 10% for your own girls and you.

- What will you do??
- Would you still give him your kidney??
- How will you handle the whole situation??

I will not give him my kidney

Let him sort it for himself

Freest:
Hello guys, I am kinda in a dilemma.
I took a loan of about 1.5m and had two things in mind. A land or a car.

Now I base in lagos, with two kids. Going around in a bus with two kids is not funny at all. When I look at my wife I pity her and I feel she deserves a car to move around.

On a second thought, I feel taking a loan to buy a car is not wise. I saw a land for around that amount and was thinking if o should go for it.

Now; weighing both options. Sometimes there are urgent running around to do, but we are handicapped due to mobility.

Secondly if I end up buying the land, I have no funds to even develop it. Lagos is not a place to leave a land idle. I would be servicing loan so wouldn’t be able to do anything for now.

Kindly advise

If the land you saw is OK for you to live there and go to work, buy half plot, use the balance and erect a room and parlor self contain.

Move your things there and start living there then plan on how to own a car

A car is like a human being that must consume to live a car must be maintained and Nigeria roads are the major cause of car problem

If you think the land is far from you to go to work, then get a car

But bear in mind that you will need to buy a land one day and develop it

If you marry a woman that doesn't know how to cook, you can take her to catering school to learn how to cook or get a cook to come home and teach her how to cook

Gradually she will pick up

haryorbarmie83:
Is hell to marry woman who doesn't no how to cook, eventually you will end up having another side chick.

Men will ever have a reason to cheat its in them

fineboynl:
people are very quick to say go find a wife you are getting old. I'm very selective and I know what I want in life, I have a projection how my life should be both now and the future. I have a dream how my kid (if any) should be brought up. I can't just pick a woman like that the way other guys are doing.

maybe when they sees you in the market buying food stuff or better still doing home laundry. as it has been wired in our head that it's meant for women only and not men. as a result of this so many guys jump into finding a wife just because they cannot do it.

and another thing I observed is that majority of people are less picky when it comes to partner. I have seen guys traveled to village to get a wife. mostly Xmas period and then next they come back with a wife. imagine just like that? before you knows it children start coming in. or several other case where someone help find them partner. a stage thing. to me it's disgusting.

this act is one of the characteristics that made people like me different and it's still surprising us till today. to me it just seems people don't have an idea how their life should be both current and future. an idea of the partner they need or an idea of him/her they think they can live with. it look like people who cannot think beyond the fact they need a partner. which is responsible for most of the garbages, crisis and problems we are having in the society today.

everyone have what they want out from this life. and marriage can't be said to be the right thing or best decision just because the majority of people are getting married.

it's sad to say this, but it's just the truth. the Western influence have really change the way we Africans take life to be nowadays. there are no genuine partner today that can stay behind you when things goes south like it was in the past. men will abandon their virgin wife is she can't bear children. women will abandon their fateful husband in financial stress. friends disconnect from friends when they get to the top. we live in selfish world nowadays where majority of person's lost conscience.

You know what, once you are ready to settle down, you will adjust your taste

If you really need a wife you will have a lot to chose from

Whoever told you that marriage is easy was telling you about boy friend and get girl friend

Ope88:
Please don't read and pass, also Pardon all my typo, I'm typing out of duress.

I am from a family of six, 3 girls, 1 boy including my parents.
I had a horrible childhood experience, My Mum (no thanks to her) was something I can't quantify, I can't start writing every of the things she did and I can't say If the religion she practiced contributed largely to the devilish attitude she put up while growing up.

My mum has no good record anywhere, in the church, with the neighbours, with her siblings, we the children, her in laws and even at work, She was always at war with people, if she dreams that someone was trying to attack her in the dream, if she sees the person the following day, she was ready to attack the person.

Also, she would curse her children at any slightest provocation and leave only my brother out(last born and spoilt), She doesn't have any good relationship with her siblings and won't allow my dad visit his family member, I remembered them (Mum and dad) always saying this (don't be unequally yoked together with unbelievers). To them anyone who isn't a Christian (deeper life) is not supposed to be associated with.. My dad on countless occasion will call his mum a witch just because she was a Muslim and one of the oloyes of allasalatu(Muslims will understand this) and had nothing to do with his family members.

This went on and on like this until my elder sister moved out of the house and in the process of trying to find her feet, she got pregnant and my mom practically tormented her life, she later got married to the man, and for that act alone, she's always at logger heads with my sister and her husband..

Later, I got married and then my younger sister followed suit, leaving my dad, herself and my younger brother (whom I have disowned).

Ever since the three of us got happily married, and left the home, my dad slipped into severe depression. Although he has been depressed given lots of things he encountered, job loss, no social interaction, unforgiveness amongst others, it became severe when all his female children left, then from severe depressgion, he started having mental issues, he would wake up and leave the house talking to himself, or start preaching and going out of point with anyone he finds on the street, sometimes he would leave and come home at night, my younger brother who is supposed to comfort and help him, treats him with disdain, my mum who is supposed to check mate his excesses would leave him to his folly and now he has started standing up to her and everyone else in the house..

At 26, he doesn't know his bearing and obviously we have been seeing signs of him wanting to inherit the houses my father built in the same compound.. (and we have noticed that my mum has been making him understand that every of the property belongs to him).

The last straw which broke the camel's back happened one week ago, my elder sister ( who is 9 year older than him) took advantage of the lockdown and visited my father, he is usually exited when we are around him whc helps his severe moodiness. There and then an argument broke out between my sister and my brother, she asked why my brother was insulting our mum for an action that happened in the compound, he beat my sister up and her three children and boasted that, the rest of us (my sister and I) dare not do anything and that by the way we must stop coming to the house, that if he sees any of us He will beat us up, My mum who was supposed to resolve the matter started blaming my sister, asking her why she always love to come visiting, that she's supposed to be in her husband's house or father in laws place and immediately called her hubby to come pick her.

Its been one week my sister left for her house, my daddy who enjoyed her company when she was present started misbehaving again at home. He started roaming, he started cursing everyone.

The reason I'm writing is this, my dad is no where to be found, he left the house yesterday Friday 15th May 2020 and was last seen in ITAMAGA IKORODU, we keep trying his number but he is not picking and now his number is switched off, I'm sure he is still wandering about.

My sisters and I have decided that even when he is found(by God's grace) we do not what him to go back living with my mum and brother.

What other alternatives do we have to care for him, as his own siblings are not happy with him either for abandoning them and their mum (his own mum),, when they needed him the most..


I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LONG POST.. PLEASE HELP ME.

Sorry for the whole embarrassment

Report port your dad as a lost person to the police and hopefully he would be found

He has been tormented by your mum and brother so it's affecting him psychologically

When you find him, get a room apartment far away from your mum and brother let him find a woman to be friends with and from there he will start living normal

If your father has any property, put it on sale and use the proceed and start something doing for him

Back out from your mum and brother let them deal with them selves

The three of you with your sisters should join hands together to raise your father

Let no one except the three of you know where he is staying

If you guys can't get accommodation, let him stay with one of you until his senses are back

The three of you will share the cost of rehabilitating him

collinsbaba:
This has been puzzling my mind for so long, when a man is in his 40s people will be saying some sorts of things like ‘ hey guy u r overdue get a wife, do something.....’
but we all know money is very important to raise a family.

A man must be able provide a conducive environment for his family, send his children to good schools etc.....

As for me I don’t believe in marriage without money, even if one is 60 without money just forget it

NOT EAST TO BE A MAN.

That's why you have to struggle early so that you marry at 30s and train your children out of school before you get to 60yrs when your strength will start falling

samicine:
Greetings one and all. I'll try to make my lamentation as short as possible.

My mother accused me of stealing her 2k, but I assure you, I didn't. The money got missing on Thursday night according to her and my 13 year old brother. I won't do such a thing, because the times are hard and the pandemic is fueling this hard times. I'm not lazy, I kind of work from home, I write for opera news hub and to some extent I get money from there, currently I have 19k in my account. I have no motive of taking her money, but she insists I took it, and is currently threatening to throw me out of the house.

This is not the first time such thing has happened. When I was still in secondary school, money got missing often and she'll blame me, beat me and starve me for stealing her money, but God helped me and the culprit was found, my other brother was caught, he is 18 now and doesn't stay with us anymore. He stays with my dad. She never apologized for what she did and the scars of that emotional and physical abuse still ripples across my body. But this time I'm not sure I will forgive her if the money is found. I'm planning on leaving home and starting my life somewhere, it's hard, it might just be my naivety speaking, but I need your advice.

The only skill I have is writing and web designing, which I'm almost getting good at. I just need help and guidance. I'm a 200level student and I major in psychology. I'll be 21 by November.

Pls don't pack out if your mum is the one feeding you and you are more comfortable living with her than your dad, just stay behind

Withdraw the 2000 from your account , tell her that you didn't take her money and will never take her money, give it to her, it's a pity she doesn't believe you.

Give yourself one year to start planning and save towards packing out

Pack out on a normal day not under quarrelling situation, when you pack out, give her six months gap both calling and visiting let her feel the heat

Orestino:
Bia..someone said where the devil is too busy to go, he sends women.. is it true?

Lol, this your question funny,

Another way of say that they are devil's advocate

Bjteensdes24:
Hello, please this baffles me as I wonder why most people greet one another 'good evening' when it is dusk (5pm or 6pm) and also when the night finally comes(7pm).

Anybody to explain that better is there any correlation between those two words? If yes, why? Cos dusk is still a bit of day

Anything after 6pm should have been good night, but if you say so you will look abnormal to people,
so let it be the way it has been

So deeply painful to watch her cry

My heart aches

salt1:
Not true. There is pata, puo, pia, perempe etc
There's p in Igbo

OK, but I didn't say we don't have, I said it's silent