₦airaland Forum

charles009:
Hello folks, I have to put this here, cos I feel I have had enough. Please nobody should quote me cos I intend taking this post down afterwards.

I have issues dealing with a very weak wife(27), mostly where her friends and neighbours are. Since I married her 4 years ago I have allowed her handle things her way and its always from one issue to another. Always disturbing me with irrelevant gossips that wouldn't put food on my table. I paid heavily for a fashion designer school, still same issue of madam versus students bullshit. In feb I asked her to stop, so I can have peace, thanks to covid 19. When I decided I have had enough, I told her I wouldn't want to see anybody in my house going forward, since they have turned my house to a gossip zone whenever I am away at work. Once, she hears peoples voice, she opens my door and starts hailing people who its obvious are unhappy with my decision, they even teamed against her. I see her actions as plain weakness.

I have tried dialogue, yet no improvement. So I decided to go very hard on her. I told her that anytime I see her with those click of friends, I would not hesitate to embarrass her outside. This morning, she had gone to get mop then begins the regular gist, I had to immediately shout her to go inside.

Its obvious that my mode of life contradicts her way of life, I have decided to bend a little bit to accomodate her. Once I drive out, kapish my house becomes a meeting ground, all sorts of gossips in the estate are disclosed.

Am I going too hard on her or is there any better way to handle this.

Please DONT QUOTE ME..

Sorry about that attitude of her

Pls if you have the money, enroll her into schooling let her do partrime studies and she will mix up with more civilised people

It will help model her

She is in the mix of women that has nothing doing than to gossip at ever thing that passes their eyes

She is doing all these because she is idle

Wiifesnatcher:
your advice really waken my awareness. thanks for this piece of advise bro

You are most welcome but am a female

rhymesu28:
My people, I greet you all.

I am a married man with a child. We did our child's dedication few days ago online and my wife is angry that I should have spent more to entertain our neighbors after giving them soft drinks.

I have considered my pocket and sincerely with the present situation if I don't cut down my expenses it will be hard on us.

For almost two months now no salary. I have explained to her but she is not pleased with me.

How should I go about this matter please?

I hate it when someone that doesn't contribute to the family yet doesn't appreciate one's efforts

If you wife is a house wife, start thinking of what she can do to contribute after nursing her baby so that she will feel the pinches of running a home

And if she is already working, let her take some decisions because she will get a bigger share of the cost involved

Wiifesnatcher:
Dear Nairalanders and car expertise in the house, I have passion for transport business but I have been contemplating on which one to settle with between Toyota corolla 2008 model for uber or Mini bus Suzuki for local transport within my jurisdiction here in Ikorodu.

Please, I need enlightenment because I don't want to engage in business I will later regret investing on.

NB: I have 750k at hand for now but I'm still expecting help to make it 1m. But with the cash at hand, is mini bus Suzuki sellable, will I gain if I'm to drive it around my jurisdiction or should I just continue saving for the Toyota corolla for uber

Your contributions will be highly appreciated. God bless y'all as you educate me

Please help me move this to front-page, let sensible Nairalanders educate me

You will get first hand information from those that operate on the two vehicles you mentioned

Uber is no longer lucrative as they slashed their fares to 50% because of other competitors

Uber is fair when you own the car, but they have a particular year they want for cars to operate under them

So find out more

Then the smaller bus is OK, but find out how much they make per day and per week and the major parts that requires constant repairs

I wish you luck in your findings

It depends on what he is following you for

Liamm:
I have this girl I've been dating for about two years. We've had our differences but we always find ways to right our wrongs and forge a better path. However, something happened recently which might turn out to be the straw that would break the camel's back.

I got into an argument with my partner which resulted in her dragging my family in the process. I told her outrightly I would never tolerate such. I was expecting her to apologize which she never did. It has dragged on for 2 days now we haven't spoken with each other nor has anyone initiated any chat. I'm concerned if I might be taking it a bit farther or I should just call and end the silence.

You guys must have been having issues that are left unresolved

If your family never approved the relationship, it could be one if the reasons she us acting that way

But if your family never dragged her, she shouldn't dragg them

If you love your partner then you must love his family

callmeRichie:
I'm asking this question out of my curiosity and your opinions are needed. You can as well share your experience too to buttress your points.

So extracting from typical Nigerian babes' lines, they could be like "we just met today, a week ago, yesterday or as the case maybe and you claim you love me" lol

so I wanna ask, is there a specific duration to fall in love abi "the term love at first sight" is feeble??


NB: I'm just asking...

Love comes in different forms

Some fall in love immediately but the persons attitude can frustrate the love

Some don't fall in love but character of the person involves makes you to develop that love

To me, a goid mind and good attitude is what makes live to grow in a relationship

Beauty is the icing on the cake

Zaronxpanol:
I went to hell and back in my former marriage. My pastor keeps preaching on forgiveness and people are saying I am bitter and unforgiving. Nobody walked in my shoes in that marriage. My ex-husband acted all nice to people in our church and in public places but when he turns to me he is very hostile and unbothered towards my needs, our kids, and my family.
He loves people bringing their problems for him to solve and gets angry when he is not called to help outside people or render eye service help. While our concern at home didn't mean anything to him. I paid my children school fees and paid for groceries while under the same roof with this man. He always acted nice whenever he wanted sex, or in need of a favor from me because as a banker my salary was twice his salary as a Lecturer. But I didn't complain. My major challenge with him was that he was sharing his salary with the public and while I was spending my money within the family.

I fly to his family bi-monthly with gifts even though they live far away in another state without my husband motivating me to do so. My ex-husband won't do the same or even buy 5naira biscuits for my family who lived in the same state as us then. Whenever I discussed the issue with him and tell him to adjust, he will either beat me or insult me or overdo the character which I asked him to amend. He thought my life depended on the marriage and I wasn't gonna quit. Yes, I behaved as if my life depended on it but it wasn't my fault, I gave my all and wanted my marriage to work.
When the marriage crashed he was quick to move on.
Now that I am a branch manager, he is telling everyone including pastors to beg me and preach sermons that make me feel guilty.
They are telling me I have an unforgiving spirit and that my ex-husband is known to be generous to the public.
Does the bible say we should go back to our pain or dwell in hell on earth?

Men's pride is one thing that makes them look as if they are the highest thing on earth

A man can't be charitable outside his marriage and becomes a terrorist at home to his wife

The dream of every woman is to build her marriage but while building her home, the man keeps shaking the foundation, it will not stand firm

It's up to you to forgive him if you think he has changed

It's your life that us involve and your happiness now and forever is what should be your priority

PrecioussB:
“Before we got married, she used to wear ‘Camisole‘ & ‘Bump-short‘ (she‘s got this charming and sexy appearance). but now she has 3 kids and she goes around tying wrapper in the house. The sight of wrapper irritates me a lot, i see it as a thing only illiterates do. I complained to her about how i feel. But she said she needs to be free at home. Her appearance is pissing me off.“
This is an ordeal of a Nigerian man, what can he do?
Please advice him.

Try and get knickers and tights with tops for her

You can take her to market to pick house wears

She may not have all these I mentioned at home and trying wrapper is more convenient for her

farouk2much:
Earlier this morning(10-5-2020) at around 5:00 am after sahur A young man called Abdullahi Haruna go to his fiancé's residence in poteskum yobe state and climbed a tree and bow not to come down until they (the fiancé's parent) permit and grant their wedding FATIHA immediately.......

Both love and madness can act this way in extreme cases

manuelreports:
I just clocked 41 and I am yet to settle down.

Please house i want to know if I married too Late if i decide to settle down today.

I never expected to marry this late but you know one thing leads to another son of man is still trying to put somethings in order before marriage, in order to give my children the best life can offer.

Please fam
Your suggestions please

The essence of getting married at around thirties, is for you to be strong to shoulder the family responsibilities

As humans gets to forties, their body systems starts dwindling and they may no longer be stronger then

Some sicknesses starts coming up

You an still get there if you start now but don't fill up the house with children, just two or three children so that you can still carry on


Children these days consumes parents energy because they are hyperactive

funmisticqueen2:
Someone just dashed me 2 packs and I don't know, I am scared to use a soap with 'moisturising cream' in it, sounds like a scam.

Has anyone used it before? Is it good?

I heard it doesn't foam?

Pls what are your thoughts on this soap if you have used it before.

Does it do anything for skin? What are your thoughts on using it?


Pls would greatly appreciate answers, God bless.

One of the best moisturising soaps you can ever think of

NoLotty7:
How do you appreciate a married lady,she sweep your portion of the compound every morning?she's with no kid yet so buying gifts sometimes for her child is out of place here.

I suggest that you thank her anytime she does that

She may be doing it with or without intentions

You may be carried away with her and get troubles

You did not send her so she will stop when she sees that whatever her intention doing so is not working

You can be close to her husband and celebration time, you dash him like a bag of semolina and it will serve the whole house

If you should give her a personal gift or money, you have committed yourself unnecessarily

Staphylococcus:
Buy her condoms, abortions pills and sanitary pads

Just because you have staphylococcus from messing around doesn't me every other person does

Check your moniker

Bozzyironlady:
Why will you buy things for a married woman? You better stay your lane and don't send the wrong signals to your other neighbours.

Back to your question.
Simply tell her husband to help you thank madam for always taking her time to sweep your side even when she didn't have to and be appreciative not excited. Leave it at that.

This may be risky asking her husband to thank her from a fellow man

It will raise eye brow

If a man with bad characters wants to change let him change, if he wants to hold on to it, let him do so

Women have stopped taking faults for an over grown adults stupidity

Gone are the days

Prodigee:
RIP

This one wey royal heads in the north just dey die. It is well

I don't know if it has anything to do with the ostracising of Sanusi

It's time they withdraw his banish and seat down together with him to find solutions to their problems

nyzeo:
I am 33 and I come from a state from the south south. I met a girl in Lagos 4 years ago who is from the south east and we have been very good friends ever since then.

I have developed very strong affection for her over time and we started dating. We really love each other now and we have have finalized plans to get married anytime between this year and early next year.

The issues now is that my parents are insisting I marry from my state, somebody who speaks the same language. It has caused me to have issues with my mother because she is the orchestra of all this tribal bigotry.

Please lala and house memeber make una advice me abeg. I have found someone who truly complements my life I really sincerely love this lady. Thanks

At thus stage witg your mum as the major lead character, you must take it easy with her

You have to seat her down and let her know why you want to marry her and plead with her to give you her support

Don't rush her, and if she stays in the same state with your mother, let her always take time to visit your mother and they will start getting use to study themselves

Women understands their fellow women more than men

There will definitely be something that will make your mother have a change of mind where she is

She must have heard somethings about people from that side but her attitude will clear your mum's doubts and develops loves for her

He went too extreme this time around

Confusedwomsn:
Thank you so much, I will definitely try my best.
I appreciate all you've said.

Thanks too, God will give you the wisdom to carry on

endeavor:
Hello, House.

So I decided to post this to get opinions and advice from people with experience.

I met my Fiance 4 years ago in Abeokuta during a business trip. She was good and lovely then. Fast forward to this year, I'm beginning to see a whole different person in her.
She gets angry when corrected of her mistakes.
She gets angry when questioned on issues.
She does not pray.
She has never advised me on anything.
She is not encouraging.
She never gives suggestions or opinions when asked.
She's never appreciative. (Do today, and you don't do tomorrow, na wahala)
She is not supportive.
All these traits I got to know since she moved in with me for a year now.
Though I'm still a hustler, I do my best to provide.
I assist her financially for her upkeep.
I even enrolled her in a vocational training program to learn a craft.
to cap it all up, her addiction to movies had made me given up.
She can fight you for talking while watching movies on her phone.
I'm not allowed to tune to my favorite channels.
You mustn't send her to get a glass of water while she's watching a movie.
I have talked, complained, advised and even reported. But it's getting worse.

Please, your advises..

A woman doesn't need to be stubborn thst she won't take advice likewise men

If you think you can't cope, now is the best time to think twice

There have been no commitment between both of you so far

Reverse the memories of the relationship and get to a conclusion that you will be happy with

Abfinest007:
want my son to grow from s broken
home, I don't want my kids to have different
fathers, this was the same mistake my niece made she doesn't want a broken home until her husband nearly killed her

Am glad you had your child with a successful pregnancy

As a woman and his wife, do you need his permission to ahbe another child

Just know that you will be the one to take care of thise children

You have to be intelligent about it and take in without his knowledge

After that put a stop for the time being and face your health and children

Stop engaging in arguments with him, avoid it the way you can avoid danger

For the financial stuff, do the ones you can do and forget about the rest, their is no report ard for score card

Start saving if you ha e not been saving, reduce hustling because of your life and health

If you can handle a family without his contribution pls do

Take care of yourself

Marriage is not a basis for people to remain sad and die

No one should kill himself or herself for the sake of failed marriage

Learn to love and if its not working just step aside and life goes on

Preciousgirl:
My 30 year old brother is going to marry a 43 year old woman. The woman is never married before and has no kids but been in 7 different past relationships.

I am not endorsing this, what do you advise?

Pls for the sake of your own life

Don't front it use your parents and others stay behind the camera

A woman at that age, not married before is twice vicious

Trade with caution

You people should seat him down and talk with him in a gentle manner thst he will understand, if you use force he will do his wish and regret later

Ndeoma:
Their is this lady I have come to develop feelings for. She is a graduate and intending to go for service before November... it's just this pandemic
that is delaying things. She is also a member of my church and serving in one of the service units. I have been observing her for a while and in the course of time grew feelings for her.

I took courage and approached her and she told me she is engaged to be married this December but the problem is that after that our chat she has been tailing me. She always comes around me to sit close to me during service meetings. Some times she'd be starring so much at me that you'd wonder. I'm beginning to think wether she actually told me the truth about her relationship status earlier or she is just trying to hold on to me as alternative just incase here marriage plans with the other guy goes south.

Please friends I need your sincere advice on what to do as am confused. I really love the lady and would like to marry her.

Since she said that she is engaged and getting married in December

It's either you reduce your commitment with her and allow her to marry I December or you watch her as friend and see if the December marriage will hold

Just slow and steady

But I doubt that December thing

Teebaba30:
There is this lady I have been dating now for almost eleven years (11) she was my first love, we started dating while I was still in my final stage of secondary school, things were moving smoothly, as we are both new in the game of love.

I could remembered, then, mtn with their free night calls, we would talk from 12am to 5:00am then, she is the daughter to the king of the town, a well known king in Lagos state, but along the line, as we progress in line, owing to my fine boy of a thing,.

You know we guys when we sense that, it seems all lady want us, due to our cute look, or academic reasons, we take the advantage to flirt, of which she so much detest a cheating guy, she caught me times without number, but still hard for both of us to let go our anyone, after my higher institution,

I relocated to Lagos to start life and keep the hustle real, but this lady was in Lagos with mom, she keep coming to my place even in Lagos, but unfortunately, we lost contact, for seven years, we couldn't reach ourselves, then i decided to relocated to another location in Lagos

But just last month, her call came, that she saw my contact on Facebook, And we try to renew the relationship, that's how we started and doing fine, she's now in her final year At Fountain University, Oshogbo,

Now the problem facing us now is, She is a Muslim, while am a Christian, her parent will never allow her to convert, while my own parent will never allow me to convert, and now we are madly in love, she try to convinced her dad, but all effort was prove abortive.

We love ourselves so much, but religion is the barrier facing us now, we are both planning to run away from the country, she promised to foot all bills for our travelling, but I told her we should try just be friend as our religion is the barrier here now.

If not for the religion issue, we plan to have our introduction this year, and get wedded next year, but religion want to truncate the whole plans,

Pls fellow nairalanders, your advice is urgently needed now, we are both confused, with no option, we can't let go of anyone, and yet we don't want our parent to turn back to us,

She keeps crying everyday, even I myself, and in the state of confused now,.

SHOULD WE QUIT THE RELATIONSHIP OR WHAT SHOULD WE DO NOW..?

True love is difficult to separate

I will advise you stop talking about marriage and starts withdrawing

Your both parents may not allow you guys to carry on, so what's the essence

You guys should just bear it and have peace

MrBrownJay1:
fight someone for doing something they've done for +20yrs? lol... stop wasting your time, as such action can send you 6 feet under. tell your mother to leave this abusive demon and basta... but raising your hand on your father aint gonna end well for you!

do you actually think that any father would accept that the ungrateful child they fed/raised/schooled for +20yrs suddenly think he/she can beat you and tell you what to do?!

I can see you have the tendency to behave like his father

Carry on

skimena:
There's this beautiful teenager of about 17 years of age. a very beautiful and skinny fine girl that once lived in the same compound with me. her dad was the caretaker of the compound but later had misunderstanding with the landlord and he was asked to pack out of the house. to make long story short. they moved to a place that is not too far from us. her dad is a cab driver n her mom is late. the dad doesn't allow them to leave the house without reasonable excuse. but since on Monday till yesterday Friday. everyday consecutively this girl will take permission from her dad that she's coming to my house and that she'll spend some time with me and my family since I don't stay alone, and considering our close relationship with the dad, the dad will grant her permission quick quick but whenever she comes to my place she will spend like ten minutes then Snick out only to come back in d afternoon with one flimsy excuse or the other that she's within the neighborhood. me and my family are beginning to suspect her movement that there's a boy in the area she's coming to see. will it be right for me to tell her dad? I just thinking about it on what to do

That a was a very naughty one from her

Using your family name to do her escapes

Pls don't inform the dad yourself

Let your mum do that because I'd anything happens she becomes pregnant

Her dad already believed she goes to your house and you will be the dad's first suspect

Discuss with mum to report her to her dad and let her stop coming to your house

agbarahk:
Why are women like this haba! Called my Fiance ova 7hrs ago she didn't pik up . And she Neva texted me to say she is bixy at all . Then I called again to let ha no am not happy. Imagine ha respons.....u should know am bixy dasts why I didn't pik up dat time. Ppl what do u think is going on? Candid Advice pls

The relationship is not healthy, look into it very well

MrBrownJay1:
if wifey doesnt want to leave this irresponsible abusive man, then wetin concern you?
if you have any issues with the way this man is living his life (for the past 30yrs) then live yours happily ever after and let him be who he has always been. expecting this man to change, because you or anyone else dont like his lifestyle, is foolish. thats who he is and he will probably NEVER change, get with the program.

so again, children should invite mama to come and live with them, if she doesnt want, then there is not much anyone can do....and basta!

as for any kids who has the audacity to raise their hand on their own father...***spit on floor***

Situations like this, your last paragraph will be thrown away

Beat anyone hundred times, he will either fight back or hold it

But being in the habit of beating a mother before her children, haba ❗

No child will take it, even if its from the dad

We4all:
Hey Nairalanders, I would like your honest opinion on this. Last weekend, a cousin of mine got into a physical confrontation with his dad over the shabby way he treated his mom. Whilst a few family members applauded his actions, others condemned him(including me). So, I would like your opinion on what you would have done if you were in his shoes.

A little about my cousin's dad:
If there were to be an award for the 'most irresponsible man on earth', then I guess the award should go to him. He is a drunk, very violent, spiteful, and a philanderer. His philandering habit is so pathetic that he spends recklessly on his numerous lovers;whilst neglecting his wife. Unfortunately, this has been the case right from when my cousins were kids, and now as a man in his late 60's, he doesn't seem to show any signs of slowing down.

And to cap it all, his violent nature is such that he insults and hits his wife at the slightest provocation(which mostly bothers on his womanizing habits and lack of self control).

To further exacerbate the situation, he doesn't respect his kids(These are responsible adults in their 30's) and confronts them physically if any of them visits to broker peace.

The physical altercation
As usual, he got into another fight with his wife, and since they both live alone, a neighbor called my cousin who happens to reside in the same town as his parents. When he got there, he met both parents arguing with a few people around who apparently were there to mediate. He calmed the situation, and dispersed them.

He was still trying to figure out what to do next when the dad pounced on his mom and started another fight. He tried stopping his dad from getting violent with his mom, and that infuriated the man. He turned on my cousin and started hitting him hard. My cousin tried defending himself and it led into a physical combat.

The fight got so violent that it took the intervention of an uncle who eventually calmed the situation. Since that day, whenever my cousin visits to check up on his mom(She still insists on staying with her husband), the dad won't stop cursing him, and even threatened to call the cops on him.

To be candid, I'm trying so hard not to describe the man in perfect terms, as that would paint the picture of a monster. In all honesty, he is worse than a monster, and no child would be proud to have his type as a father.

So, the question is, if you were to find yourself in my cousin's shoes, what would you have done? Retaliate or just walk away?

In all honesty, I will do same like your cousin

No child ever wants to see the dad beats the mum, even if she deserve to receive the award of the most stupid woman on earth

Any man that beats the mother of his children is a beast and has gone senile

Zombiekiller010:
Why is this corona not spreading fast in Oyo state that has no lockdown

Their land border is tight