Naija246: This is what happens when you forfeit your freedom to a woman all in the name of marriage. I will keep preaching this;men are doing Women a huge favor by marrying them. The benefits of single life to a man outweighs any pros marriage offers.
We live in a world where sex is so cheap and readily available so I don't know why a full grown man will open his two eyes and decide to be a woman's workhorse ... slaving away at some job that he probably hates while she sleeps at home eating, getting fat and watching TV
This man is probably innocent!
Now I realised that if you father has the same thinking with yours, he wouldn't have gotten your mum pregnant to birth you
Lifedonor: I will have to go straight to the point.
The lockdown due to covid 19 made my girl friend and I bond even closer to the extent she practically was almost living with me. She only leave my place to her house (not too far from mine) just to change her clothes or her other items as the case maybe. Sometime along the line I fell ill and she was very much helpful.
Fast forward to early May, I discovered she had become too glued to her phone. We would be seeing a movie on TV and her phone will be with her (chatting) at a point I complained. This got worse to the extent that when I wake up in the night say 1AM this girl is still up charting.
Two days ago I went to the hospital for my final check up and I left with the keys since she wasn't around when I left the house. When I got back I found her small Nokia phone on the table and I decided to go through it.
The messages I found there are things I won't want to talk about but the major one that promoted this thread is that I saw a message from her choir member telling her that he is on his way to church already and that she should come fast before the program starts so they can meet. I went through his previous messages with her and lo and behold they have been dating for a month now.
Guys when she got back I threatened fire and brimstone and booommm! The confession. They usually meet an hour before choir practises and they went behind the church towards the generator house to kiss touch and romance that was the reason she always left the house so Early.
Do you guys know that we had a very good sex that same day she left to the church to kiss this guy. Do you know she bathed in my house, she used my deodorant, she ate my food and wore the clothes I bought for her. Apparently she kissed and romanced two guys in less than 3hrs.
This is the second time she is cheating on me. I know quite sure there could be more but this is the only one she agreed to may be cos there was a text evidence.
She has been pleading and begging. But if she could do this even in the church and on a day I was in the hospital ... I am thinking of quitting. Pls advise me
She is 22 in her finals the guy is 25 same university (I live in a university town)
I have met her parents and I have verbally told her that I would marry her. If not for the way 2020 turned out I wanted settling down November this year. We have dated for 2yrs
She even spoke to my mom in the morning of the same day.
Can you find out from her why she is fucking around with other guys while in a promising relationship with you
PowerOfLove: So I was thinking about my family extensively and how we are not united at all. I can remember one person in the family that used to call for family meeting and get together every year. The man died almost 20yrs ago when I was still growing up and since then, there's no time again members of the family have all gathered to meet, greet and chart the way forward concerning the family extensively. May be he was able to achieve that because he was rich and respected. Now, the only time we meet is if there's a burial, a ceremony or any gathering that would force people to attend and in most cases, the married ones don't come with their kids. I mean this is a very bad pace set for the new generation we are breeding today. My two kids (3rd is 3 months old), outside my sister and her kids whom we are staying in the same city, my kids have not been able to meet other kids from my nephew and nieces and relatives generally and familiarize with them. This is giving me reasons to worry about as my kids may see their cousins on the road tomorrow and pass without knowing they are cousins. In worst case, what if in the future they meet and happen to be in a relationship without knowing they are related? Nollywood movie. Lol.
However, I'm thinking on how I can reunite the family such that once in a while, members of the family will come with their kids and we all gather, meet ourselves, greet and familiarize with each other but how to go about is what I lack exact knowledge on.
Any suggestions will be appreciated. Meanwhile, is this kind of disunity also happening in your family? How often do you guys meet yourselves in your extended family? Share your experiences.
Lalasticlala Seun Dominique Mynd44
Front page if found worthy.
Because of extended family tussle and long-term quarrels in the family, its not easy coordinating these people
You must be ready to be the servant leader and be prepared to spend money to keep these group of people together
You must command respect for you to achieve this
I will suggest you start with family group WhatsApp with the men, gradually once it's getting strong, you bring in their wives into the platform
Before you know it the unity will be building up and once in two or three months, you fix meetings either turn by turn in your places of residence or get a venue for tge meeting
Then you did realise that by the end of the year, you guys will be organising a family get together end of year party
This will help you guys to know who among the youths needs help to get stabilise and stop being a nuisance to the family
Then from generation to generation, the up coming youths will take over from you guys as you grow old and already built a strong base for the family gathering
wisdomiskey: This all started 3 years ago, when I committed $60000 into the hands of my older brother to commence a building project in Nigeria on my behalf as I am based in the States. This project was to be watched over & managed by my mother and two of my brothers (one older, one younger).
Problems arose when I began noticing that the pictures they were sending me were very different from the architectural design we had planned – this led to numerous bitter arguments which eventually left me ostracised from my own building project with my brother insisting that the “project must go on” with or without my approval. I eventually got frustrated and so my wife suggested I make an unannounced visit to Nigeria to find out the true situation of things…
On my arrival to Nigeria, I found out that nothing was done on my land at all.. and all this while, my siblings had been sending me pictures of another person’s project! In fury, I reported the matter to the Nigerian Police Force and had my older brother arrested hoping to eventually recover so of the money he fraudulently took from me. However, much to my surprise, I eventually got wind that the police had released my brother 4 days later – police that I stupidly even paid money to ensure justice is served.
Shortly afterwards, I received a call from the police demanding that I come to the police station immediately as it has been reported that I threw an axe at someone’s car in an attempt to kill the person – something I never did!
I informed a friend of mine of this new accusation and he immediately got me a lawyer who contacted the police directly to get to the source of these allegations. We eventually found out that my mother was in fact, responsible for going behind my back to pay off the police to release my brother and had also bribed and instructed the police to invite me to the police station on a wrong accusation in order to have me imprisoned and to also confiscate my passport so as to prevent me from travelling back to the States.
I called my wife and informed her of my terrible ordeal and she pleaded that I return to the states immediately for my own safety. I eventually had to abandon everything including the massive debt and loss my siblings had subjected me to, thus running back to the States to protect my life and sanity. Heartbroken and betrayed, I changed my contact and cut off my family members and for the past 3 years, I’ve had no contact with any of them whatsoever.
However, to my surprise, I recently received WhatsApp messages from this same brother and mother who had the audacity to now ask me for financial assistance due to the “ongoing global pandemic”. I was beyond shocked that they would pretend as if all that transpired 3 years ago never happened! No apologies for not only scamming me of my life savings and attempting to have me wrongly imprisoned, no concern for my well-being and that of my family, just a direct demand for my financial support. It’s like a healing wound has just been re-opened and I’m really struggling with the level of betrayal from my own family members.
Morgantian: Dear nairalanders, please advice me My sister inlaw has been with me and hubby for roughly a year now, this girl is a complete gossip and she loves doing eye service, she gossips with our neighbors about everything that happens within our apartment, mainly about me, one of my neighbors told me about this and I've overheard her gossiping about me a few times, I love my privacy and don't like intruders, I'll cook and she'd dish her food, eat the meat alone and drop the food in the kitchen, then cook the same food on her own, I honestly don't want any problems, I and hubby agreed on no live-in in laws but what has happen, has happened, just need a way forward, please how can I get hubby to send her back to their parents? If there's anyone with similar experience, how did you manage? Please help me. She's 20 and an undergraduate.
Since your husband is not feeling her stupidity at home, face him squarely for her to leave your house
Don't confront your sister in law unless you know that your husband will back you
By the time you give your husband the heat he needs, he will exit her
Godlovesyou28: I type this with so much pain and sense of loss. I found out about two years ago that my step mum is not my real mum( everyone keeps wondering why am just waking up to the obvious). I grew up being hated by my mum's(now step mum) family, usually beaten, overworked and deprived; but I was told that I was being trained to be strong since I was the first daughter by my mum ( now step mum). At age seven I cooked all the meals except my (dads soups) and did all the cleaning. By age ten I cook every single meal at home, wash all the cloths and Iron, clean the house and run all the errands while my siblings both older and younger play and watch TV. I always felt my mum(step mum) will love me just a little bit more if I worked harder; she always told me I was special( and different) and that she loves me so much but does not know how to show it. . It hurt me deeply then that I was different so much so that its expression translated to pain; but that's in my past now and I have no regrets.
Fast forward, am all grown up and fully independent, then a distant relative I helped told me two years ago that my mum is not my real mum with facts. For me it was a relief(I thought there was something wrong with me that made me unloveable and to be treated different and given less, but I know better now ). I am more confident knowing she never loved me and that it was no fault of mine.
Now, I just can't move on knowing I have a mother and I want to meet her and ask her questions (why she would dump her child for another woman to raise? Why she never came back to take me? Etc). And also if we could catch-up and be friends maybe.
The problem is that no one wants to tell me anything since most of my family members fear my dad and keep referring me back to my dad; I visited my dad and begged him to tell me who she is (I cried so much that he had to beg me to stop), he asked me to go so he can discuss it with my mum(step mum) but now shouts me down each time I bring up the topic.
I want to find my real mother . l don't know why I can't sleep or think about anything else. I need closure. I have been advised to sue my dad and am considering it. Please help me, I can't bear knowing I have a mother out there and not know who she is. Please help!
Calm down pls and don't take it too hard before you spoil something
Find someone in your father's family and keep the person's secret
That person will tell you how to locate your mum
But for the fact that your mother never looked for you, should give you the courage to move on with your life
She may be from another state or region or even another country
Am glad you have grown, help yourself to be stable so that you don't go back to them for any favour
farem: A MAN NOW SUFFERS FOR DENYING HIS WIFE A REGISTRY MARRIAGE
“I got pregnant nine years ago while dating my current husband and then the issue of marriage came up. I wasn’t working then. He told my family and I that he doesn’t want a court marriage for no reason. _ My parents tried talking to him, I cried and begged him severally to legalize his marriage with me but he stood his grounds not to wed me in a court. _ I involved his family members to help me beg him but they said, he’s old enough to make his decisions. _ He even refused to do a white wedding either because my church requested for a court certificate, so we ended up doing only traditional marriage. _ I later got tired and gave up on the matter. I was hurt and broken but I resolved to marry him like that just to save myself and my family the shame of having a baby outside wedlock. _ My dad was angry and disappointed in him but he didn’t care and because of that my dad vowed to see me a successful and independent woman with or without him. _ After I gave birth to my baby, my dad helped me secure a job with a multinational company and things started to turn around for me. I could now take care of myself and secure a future. _ Though I married my husband, but I never forgave him from my heart and it made me not to do anything in my husband’s name. _ We currently have three kids together but all my properties are in the name of my children. I never used him as my next of kin either. _ Just last month my company decided to transfer me to a branch in Texas and the company is willing to pay for my entire family to relocate with me. _ My husband’s business is not doing too well and he’s willing to relocate also but we have no legal certificate to show that we are married. Now he wants us to go to the court to legalize our marriage and I have said “No” My dad has threatened to disown me if I ever go with him to court. _ He’s been tagging me everywhere as a bad wife who is not loyal to her husband, spoiling my family also. His family members have been calling me trying to persuade me but I told them I’m old enough to make my decisions also and I have stood my ground just like he did to me nine years ago.” _ What is your advice for this young mother?
Copied
At times, men who claim to be hard take decisions that affects them on the long run
He deserves whatever decision you will be taking
Your idea of getting properties on your children names was a good one because he was behaving as if he has another plan
You can still travel without him, but if you wish to travel with him, you can do so
Tyrone007: My parents have Four children, Two boys and two girls. My sister and I are twins and are the last born. Every since we were young, my mum has always favoured our older sister who is the first born at our detriment. I'm not against the fact that she's my mum's favourite but it's just annoying that my mum does everything to please my older sister, even if it means suffering we the younger ones.
My older sister does nothing in the house and is always on her phone from morning till night (mind you, she's 25). Whenever we complain, she usually hide under the guise of "she's your older sister". Whenever we're sick and we tell our mum, she'll shout at us to tell our dad but if it's my older sister, she gets emotional, crying at every instance.
Only my mum does the cooking even if she's not feeling well and it annoys me. My older sister has become the chairlady of the house.
My other siblings are already fed up but won't say anything. Even when she wants to get something for personal use, my mum won't allow her go get it herself. My objection to the way my mum treats us has made me the black sheep of the family. My sister and I currently not on talking terms due to my objection to her laziness and surprisingly my mum supports her. They both gossip about us at every opportunity. I don't even know what to do again. How do you advise I deal with this?
I think its best you over look them and start planning on how to build your future while is a enjoying her lazy life
You may not know what your mum promised while searching for pregnancy or what made her to give her is useless support
Be yourself and over look them if possible so that you can find your bearing and pack out
Leave both of them, at the end it's either she regrets or get rewarded
Honesty001: This is the story of my marital life.I need your advice nairalanders. please no insults.
I married at the age of 23 ,that was immediately I finished nysc.I met my hubby while preparing for law school.He toasted me for a period of two years. I actually refused to date him because I felt he was short, not from a rich home,had an accent, and not really my class. Nevertheless I was sill in constant communication with him.I was very free with him which I regret. During that period he came to Lagos took me out we made out and he was so happy I had agreed. when he went back to his place of work(Anambra) I did not feel happy.I told him I wasn't interested in the relationship.He called my cousin to talk to me .I insulted him and told him I do not love him as he is irritating me,even with all the insult he kept toasting me.
He was very sure I was his wife.He said God showed him in his dream. He told us to fast together so that God can reveal it too me since I wasn't sure.I fasted but nothing was revealed.I followed my sister to a church ,the pastor of the church told me that if I married that suitor coming for me I will regret it. I told him what the pastor said and he started crying begging my sister that he will forever love me.
I told him that if in the next 6months we still communicate that means we are meant to be together. During this period I dated someone else and I was not in communicado with him. Suddenly I felt an urge to call him,even though I did not know that month was the 6 month.I called him and that is how we renewed our communication. He told me too choose between the guy I was dating and him.I choose him and broke up with the guy because I felt the guy was not ready for marriage for the next 5 years, while I was as he was still hustling. I agreed to date him and marry him on the condition that he will not use how I treated him and refused him to judge me. My ex and a male friend a toaster from nysc called me and I warned them to stop calling me.He picked up the call and told them to stop calling.Anyways My father wasn't happy because he felt he was from a poor home,but I didn't care again because I felt he had potentials and that he loved me dearly since he fought for me. He and my mum were close. We did introduction.During nysc I was not allowed to go for any event.He always wanted to know where I was every minute.If I didn't pick my call the series of explanation will be much. Even to attend my pastor's birthday was a problem.I had too beg but it all fell on deaf ears.He will cry when he is upset with me and he will start cursing and swearing for himself.i will beg .My roommate witnessed all these and told me that he was controlling me too much .When I had a quarell with him I told him what she said even though I did not mention her name. Before that I used to gossip about my roommate and neighbours with him.I was so naive,I told him about my past relationships,even about my toasters.I trusted him so much.I thought I was confinding in my best friend.Anyways he made me delete her number and disassociate myself from her after a 3 days quarell.He came down to my place of service and He made me swear with my womb that I never chatted with her after blocking her on WhatsApp.I refused to swear as it is against my principles.I walked out and he dragged me back to the room.
Fastfoward to post marriage he judges me with the past.Talks about how I treated him badly.He doesn't trust me at all.He says I cheated on him by dating the other guy.He dosent like seeing me talk with guys or someone he dosent know.Meanwhile he has a lot of friends I don't know o.He flushed my sim inside toilet and made me change my line and leave Facebook and WhatsApp. He made me leave nairaland too after he saw the p.ms .I don't have any friends.I have no one to confide in. Anytime I talk and he dosent like my point of view he will shout at me and shut me up like I am a dullard,when we are watching news or movie.He hardly apologises or commends me .He is quick to criticize.When he is angry he will refuse to eat my food and I will beg.Even when I am wrong I will beg.He never accepts that he is wrong.I always beg and cry.
when I was pregnant,I was down with malaria a lot of times and couldn't do any chore.He took me for deliverance and acted as if I brought the sickness upon myself.when I tell him how I feel he turns it around and puts the blame on me. He is good with words and manipulative, to the extent I use to think I need a checkup on my brain cos he makes it seem I am forgetful.
The good thing about him is that he is not a womanizer.He provides and works hard for the family.We do not lack any food.
Anything he says I must do it,if I don't do it due to forgetfullness he will say I forgot because I don't respect him and value his words.He is always frowning,even when he comes back from work.He hardly laughs.I am a stay at home mum. I do not have a job yet though I am searching as there are no law firms here as this is a village. I cannot even play with him or confide in him he won't even answer me.If I ask a question he will say why am I asking or ignore me.He says I don't respect him.I do everything in my power to make him feel like the head of the house to my emotional detriment. when I opened up to him that I wanted him to be more caring and loving ,at least to ask how my day was or commend me when taking care of our two kids or even say I look beautiful.He did not accept he was wrong. he kept me malice for almost 3 months giving me silent treatment and I kept to myself.During that period i told him I wanted a seperation as he always threatened me with a divorce.We decided to stay for the kids.when we tried to talk and settle .He slapped me and used a belt on me telling me not to talk while he is talking.He dosent respect me. please ladies before you get married have a good job or a means of livelihood.Even though he sponsored my masters in law .He dosent pray again as he says I made his spiritual life to deplete.He belongs to charismatic.
I am scared of making friends as I feel he may not like it.I am lonely.only my kids keep me company. I have low self esteem.If you see me you won't believe I have masters in law. look soD timid.Do you know he shouts at me in public,in church.
Note-I am very gentle,friendly and free spirited.I play a lot and I like laughing and gisting.He provides food and loves his children so much,he sponsored my masters.He buys me cloths and makes sure I don't lack.He works very hard. If I decide to leave now I have 0 naira in my account.He said he will take the kids.I will be left empty .mature Nairalanders what is your opinion?
Hunye: I'm new to this forum though I've been a guest for over 3yrs but decided to register today so I can pour out my heart and frustration hoping I get well meaning advise from married and matured people here. I'm 37yrs female married for over 10yrs now without a child. My husband is a nice and caring young man of 42yrs every woman will pray to have. Along the line he got tired of waiting and told me that he still loves me dearly and since we can't afford Ivf and he doesn't want to loose me, that I should permit him to get a woman pregnant aside our marriage, that he isn't going to marry another wife but that I should give him go ahead to atleast have one child outside pending when God will bless us with our own. I thought this through on my mind and gave him go ahead but ever since then the love I have for him dropped to zero, and I left him though he has been begging me to come back .
Recently I met a man online and we have been dating online he lives in a different state from me but this man has shown me what real love is all about, he is a widower of 57 yrs extremely caring and loving and Godly, Recently he proposed to me and we have discussed extensively about our past relationships . He is not rich, he earns a little less than 300k and he has grown up kids. He has told everyone about me including his friends, pastor and children. Now to the main issue why am writing this... I just found out that after he lost his wife some years ago, he remarried last year and the marriage lasted for only six-month before it packed up, And he never told me this throughout our discussion.he hid it from me. We were discussing over the phone and he suddenly said something which I became inquisitive and he was forced to tell me about it mistakenly. Note this man has been so eager to marry me if not for the Lockdown we would have been done with the marriage. I told him that same yesterday I can't continue with the relationship since he hid something as important as his marital status from me, he broke down over the phone and cried uncontrollably like a baby.
Now the issue is that my ex husband is on my neck to win me back, he said over his dead body will he grant me divorce. My heart is with this other man, but how do I forgive him and continue with him. Pls I need mature advise
I don't see the reason why you can't forgive your new man from hiding such from you
He has his reasons and he has asked for forgivenes
You have to forgive him and move ahead
You didn't tell us who among you and your husband that has a medical condition over child bearing
Your husband loves you but he needs a child outside you and even if he says he won't marry the woman, don't believe him, it's rare to get a mumu woman that will have a child for a man and drop the child for him and walk away
One day, he will bow to pressure and marry that same woman
But if he wants to be sincere, both of you can go for adoption since you can't afford IVF
Alternatively, inform your family that you are no longer inttested in the marriage and wants to pull out and look for another man
It's now left for the two families to accept it and end the marriage
As for your new man, he already has children, if after one year, you can't have a child, go for adoption so that in future, you will have a child which will be the synergy for both of you as it's possible your step children will grow to find their ways
But get to know his family and make enquiries if truly he is a widower
Mamasessy: I am caring for my niece these days. She is 8 years old and cries loudly if she wants something or doesn’t get what she requests. My sister spoil her too much. I’m looking for best way in discipline her. I spank her most times with my hand and she can cry more than one hour but for now still screams a lot and cry like a baby. Please help me to know how to handle her.
Her parents should be the one to handle her pls
Some parents doesn't want high hardened hand on their children and if you insist it becomes quarell between you and them
Unless they send you pls just leave her before she develops temperature from your beating and then the parents will give you an open warning, which you will not like
Sylverly: Apparently, my friend is so mad and even threatening to divorce his wife.
No, this is not a case of infidelity or unfaithfulness. My friend and his wife got married last year. Both are working and keeping personal savings. My friend works at a very far distance, however, the wife's work place is approximately 10minutes walking distance.
My friend's mother-inlaw stays in a different city, and she is close to retirement. My friend just found out that the wife sent money to his brother to get a car for the mum. Though, she was actually going to tell him or inform him about it. Just that her mum was the first to call my friend, thanking him for their kind gesture.
My friend's anger was that the wife knows how much stress he passes through this period to get to work. But she however made her choice on the best person to get a car for.
Please, what is your opinion about this. I don't even know what to say.
She sent money to her own brother to get a car for her own mother, right
And your friend believe he should be the one to own the car rather
The person in question is his mother in law
He shouldn't reason like that because he doesn't know what the family have been through before he met her and she could be doing so to appreciate her mother
What he should be talking about is how he can get his own car, if he is sure the wife has the power to buy more or if she can afford another car
He doesn't even know if other of her siblings contributed but she brought the bigger portion
Agbagbaregoo: I just met this lady and everything seems to be clicking. she just started a business after I gingered her and I had to patronize her. in the course I transferred some money to her to patronize her far more money than she was selling the Stuff so as to encourage her. The bank debited me and I told her I sent it. Throughout that day she claimed not to have gotten the money. Then throughout the next day same story so the third day I went to the bank to receive the statement of account. lo and behold her name was boldly written and the bank people told me she has gotten it. I got very angry and sent it to her but I didn't tell her anything I just ignored her call. A policeman asked for her number at the bank that he will question her. throughout these period I ignored her and I was just imagining how a beautiful light skin tender looking babe will behave like this. Then lo and behold today the bank reversed the money. I can't explain the feeling of disappointment. Now she said she doesn't want to have anything to do with me again that she doesn't want wahala for her life. She finally picked after many trials of calling and she insisted on me leaving her life.she even said she's not doing business again. I don't know what to do.
Take her to the bank to see your cash movement and the bank manager is in the best position to convince her that it was a network error
If after that she doesn't believe you, then their is a triggering factor between the both of you before the bank transaction failure
Natural441: My fellow nairalander let us discuss the reason men lose interest in there women after few years in marriage.
Every new thing gets less attention as time goes on
Men, because of their nature that made them to always want a fresh thing has affected them that they no longer appreciate what they had earlier when it was fresh
Child bearing and raising children is enough to take the time and attention of women away and before you know it she starts looking unkept
Then men with their taste for fresh things will start Loosing interest in that same person they met fresh
But a man who is committed to looking after his wife and appreviating her will always love her and never loose interest in her
deji85: I had to register a new account to post this to hide my identity. I apologise for the long post.
My marriage will be 3 years in Decemeber but I am becoming increasingly very unhappy with my marriage.
My source of unhappiness is that my wife has no or has lost any ambition in life. Before we got married she was working and she always mentioned how she was saving to start her business and all that. I was really impressed with most of the plans she had. After marriage she quit her job saying it was too time consuming which I supported.
She decided to start her business(a boutique) I gave her the money and after about 4 months without starting, when I asked, she said she was duped(4m gone). All efforts to get who she paid money to yielded no result. After about 3 months of her staying home I asked her what she wanted to do next and she said she wants to learn fashion design and try to build her brand. We paid 350k for her to learn which she said she was done after 8 months. She got a shop, we equipped it and she started. I was really happy but 5 months down the line she said she was tired that it was not moving that she wants to turn the shop to a saloon, another expense and she had her saloon, shop rent was due after a few months and I paid. Barely 6 months after rent renewal she said she was tired(again) and she closed the shop. She was just staying home all day 6 months passed and no change.
I asked her again if she was just going to remain like this, she said she is still figuring out what to do next. 1 year passed same situation, stay home, follow all gist/gossip on social media(of which I'm tired of hearing) her friends 2 of them are also like her jobless and clearly not interested in getting busy. Most recently she requested I buy her own car. I told her we don't need 2 cars, I work from home so 1 car is enough for us she gave me cold shoulder for a few days because of this. Next anniversary is in December and she has already started searching which country we will mark the anniversary. Not that this is bad but her lack of ambition in life is eating me up. she seems satisfied just staying home and doing nothing. I don't know how to get her to be serious with life. I am far from happy in this marriage.
As she insisted, every month I give her 95k to run the home. Though i feel this is much for 2 people, I figured she might want to send something to her younger siblings and mum once in a while so I agreed.
If anyone has had deal with this or has any advise please kindly comment.
This is something that calls for concern
Just the two of you and over 6 million has gone just like that
The truth is that she doesn't want to be responsible at all, as in she doesn't want to labour in any ways
My dear start savings for the future
Stop granting all her requests, let her feel the absence of cash for a while let's see if she will reason
If you should be giving her over 90k per month then you are already paying her salaries
DebbieBianca: Here is the moment a Nigerian man made her wife shared tears of joy during her birthday .
The man surprised his wife on her birthday by showering her with too much gift.
In the video, there were plenty of cakes, drinks, as the wife was about to cut the cake, she was asked to draw, as she was drawing something that looks like money came out.
It did not stop there, they gave her knife to open the cake to her greatest surprise it was IPhone 11 pro inside and the woman burst into tears crying and hugged her husband.
May God Give Me So Much Money To Surprise My Future Wife Like This, so I pray Amen.�
chubaba22: I was calmly waiting to know where you come from before I respond. Our culture never forbid that, morality and correctness doesn't counter it in Igbo traditions too. The age gap is almost perfect and she is gradually creeping into menopause.
Moreover you should be the closest relative that can help out. 99.9% percent of those who are advising you against it knows nothing about its implications in our customs.
My advice, help your late uncle stabilise his lineage. If you are finding it difficult to do it on your own, seek the advice and consent of other significant figure in the extended family. And more importantly don't let your affair with her affect your family - it is very possible
Exactly, this has remain a culture in Igbo land, what she is requesting for is better than getting it out side
If he is her choice so let it be
Your late uncle will be glad wherever he is that you did not allow his lineage to close
Seuntek: Good afternoon fellow nairalanders. Please advice me a viable business i can start with 300k. I am a private school teacher and I'm not ready to quit now until my business can sustain me. I work 7 to 5pm. Thanks my dear fellow nairalanders.
You can look around your area and start any business that is not easily available, like refilling of gas cylinder
Modesthy: I had a good uncle who passed away three years ago. His wife morned him for one year. I lived with that my uncle until I got married and parked to my own house.
I use to visit the house sometimes. After the mourning, his wife called me and told me that I should give her more children. She has only one male child. I refused. But She said I should do it for her because she doesn't want children outside the family because she loved my uncle and our family and that she can't continue to stay with only one child.
I'm completely confused. First I'm married doing that is infidelity, sencondly, the uncle was like a father to me before his death. And I see it as a big sin.
Please somebody should help me, what do I do here? How do I handle this issue? Thanks for your candid advice.
From the look of things, she loves your family and doest want to remarry
Yes she us still at her productive age and wants an additional child
You have to bring it to the notice of the most elderly in your family, if you guys are all living peacefully
She knows that she is better of having a child from your family rather than getting a different blood from outside
It's usually done but with top secret from the kind men
The essence of involving the kins men is to accept the child into the family setting
Inform your dad if he is still around and in the absence of your dad the most senior in the family must be informed
As for your wife I think she doesn't need to be aware as I said earlier it's a top secret
But bear in mind that the child or children from her have no share in whatever you have and you don't have any financial obligations on the child unless you wish
Your main job is to pregnant her and see her through delivery after that, you pull out or continue if you can make it codedly
Crime › Re: My Wife Lied That I Defiled My Daughters- Ondo Welder. by frozen70(f): 10:41am On May 26, 2020
court is a waste of time.Take dem before d gods ogun,Ayelala,Sopona to swear affidavits 
.No time