₦airaland Forum

cr7lomo:
He walked out not because he found someone else....he walked out cos she did abortion for another guy

Please read his write up again.

When he came back after nysc he discovered that she aborted for another guy right?...and then he stayed 2months...and she got pregnant for him again which made it the 2nd abortion for him and the 3rd abortion for herself.

If he had stayed away from her when he noticed lapses in their agreement he wouldn't be disturbed as he is right now.

killmods:
He didn't do her any wrong. They were both careless and got the results of their actions. Stop being one-sided about it and God has no business with all that.

I am not being one-sided.
He is disturbed because he feels guilty about something, he is meant to clear up totally with the other lady for him to have peace of mind.

According to him, he lost interest in her because he found interest in someone else; you don't just walk out on your old job because you got a new one, you do the right thing by writing a resignation letter.

He feels guilty because he didn't handle it in the right manner and you telling him to run is a very wrong advise if I may say.

Rita005:
Hi folks! I feel like sharing my predicament with you and hope to get a solution. Please bear with me cuz it's a long read. I'm a 26 years old banker (not contract staff) in one of the south south states.

Recently, I met a beautiful soul and I think I'm getting so fond of him now. We connected after the close of service in church and exchanged contacts. He was kind enough to drop me off my house. This guy is doing very well for himself (lives in a nice estate and owns a good ride).

A short while after our first meeting, we spoke on phone and I didn't know when I asked him why he isn't married. He told me it's a long story and would like to talk about it when we meet one-to-one. Fast forward, we met and he told me all there is about him. He's 34, got married about 2 years ago, but now separated from his wife. The reason he gave for the separation was lack of trust from his wife. According to him, his wife is so insecured to a fault. According to him, the first week he got married was when he started regretting his actions. After their marriage, his wife travelled down home to bring her remaining baggage. Before she returned, he made sure he cleaned the house thoroughly. However, when his wife came back, she headed straight to the fridge (she had made soup and stew before traveling) and the next thing was cry! According to him, he said he was confused at first. it was when he asked her what the problem was that she said he brought a woman to their matrimonial home. He said he cried so much and regretted marrying a woman with a possessed mind.

According to him, all the signs were there before marriage and he ended the relationship more than 5 times but she kept begging. What she was holding on to was that there's no assurance that the guy will marry him, hence, her fears. According to him, the woman has accused him of sleeping with his former neighbors and she insisted that they move out of that area. for peace to reign, he agreed and they got another accommodation.

Again, she started accusing him of having something with his new neighbors (even the married ones). To be honest, this guy is admirable and very reserved and I'm not sure if he's doing all the things his wife accused him of. He got angry when his wife decided to report him to the church authority. According to him, this woman has no single proof of him cheating but her reprobate mind is affecting her badly. She even went ahead to share demeaning messages about him (her husband) on her whatsapp status. This guy said he has pleaded with her to stop but it's getting worse. Now, they were married for about two years without a child. He said he could manage to live with the woman for more years without a child but can't do that when his peace is been threatened. He said his wife nags a lot and it was driving him crazy. According to him, his mum was never in support of the marriage but dad was interested in it. As it stands now, he has left his wife and moved to another state where we both met.

I have been friends with him for about 3 months now and I must say that this guy is a sweet human being. He asked me out but I told him we should just be friends, owning that he's still legally married. However, my feelings for him is growing everyday and this guy knows how to get one emotionally attached to him. Even though I can perceive that he wants sex with me, he never begs or act too anxious over it. He's so calm and mature and this is making me to admire him the more.

Note: He said he has talked about divorce with his wife but she's refusing it. This is where my concerns come in.
Now, I'm scared of going into a relationship with him knowing that he's not divorced yet.

To be honest, I can hardly concentrate these days because the thought of this guy has occupied my mind. Can I go ahead with him or the implications would be overwhelming? To be honest, I've not met a guy has coolheaded and admirable as this guy but I'm scared.
please I need advice on how to handle this situation.

Thanks

Make proper findings, don't just take what he has said yet, his mom may have not been in support but they still allowed it.

You met him in church right?

God is the only one that can give you clarity, but my concern is that you wouldn't be able to pray with a clear mind for God to show and tell you if it's the right thing for you to do.

killmods:
He has every right to run

He can not really run... abortion involves two people and he had an agreement with her the two times he did it with her...if he wasn't aware it's a different thing.

It's only by the mercies of God that he can run...but God is not partial.

NovesaTillie:
Please I need only matured minds on this.
It's a serious matter.

My elder sister and her husband were married for 5 years and separated November last year but not divorced yet, though the families have been trying to reconcile them to come back together but my sister's husband has been adamant about it.

I noticed that ever since his separation from my sister he started visiting my place and now it has become frequent. I allowed it because I see him as a brother but now I am starting to really enjoy his company. He has been helping me out with stuffs and still maintains his kindness towards my parents.

He proposed marriage to me yesterday and I have been confused. I will be 30 by February 2nd.
Should I accept his proposal?

You shouldn't be accepting proposal from your sister's husband, even though they are divorced.

In your own case they are separated and by the time you choose to marry you become his second wife. Apart from the it doesn't make any reasonable sense. I'm not asking you to hate him or whatever, but giving him the privilege of getting very close you to the extent of catching feelings for him is absolutely wrong.

What were you even thinking?

Place yourself in your sister's shoes...if it happened the other way round how would you feel?

Giftlove11:
I was being blinded by love to the extent that my boyfriend and I took a blood covenant, that was about some years ago..

The truth is that I was so madly in love with him, and when he brought out the ideal, I thought that was the only way he will be mine forever. So I agreed with him, and we made the convenant.. We use needle to cut out blood from our thumb, and we made a vow never to live each other or make love with another person..

i've been discussing with him to end this convenant, but he always refuses. We took the convenant when i was 17yrs, and Its been 8years now, and i've loved only him. Even though i don't love him again, i'm afraid to have or make love with another person.
he say we can't end it and that we must mary each other.

I already found someone else i love, i'm planning to report him to the police or his parents if he dosn't give me a chance to go away..

*i don't kno if it will actually hurt me if i love another person.

i really want to go away from him

It doesn't matter who you report him to, it won't change anything.

He has to agree with you to break the covenant you both made.

And please do not endanger another person's child in what they know nothing about, until you have broken that covenant please do not do anything with the guy you've fallen in love with if you truly love him

Mylordmygod1:
Hello nairalanders...

i got my girfriend pregnant since september, and it really got me crazy..

when it was 2 months, we tried to abort it, and so we met a chemist who gave her drugs and injection, he told us that the blood we rush out, but it did rush out just small and stopped.. So it did not work even after i paid him 8k..

now, we are about to carry out D & C abortion tomorow, but she keep saying she is scared.. Even me, i'm scared too..

i don't know what to do..

please, don't feel bad reading this, i only need advice on this, it is a wrong move but my mind is already made up to do it..

how i wish i can just allow her to birth it..

though, one of my mind is still telling me to keep it, but how can i be able to take care of her and the baby?

And she is just my side girlfriend, not my real babe..
pray for me nairalanders, i need strenght this moment to take the right decision..

Keep the baby
Let your real girl know and end things with her
Do the right thing with the one pregnant for you

And build a home with her
Years to come you will be glad you didn't abort that precious little child.

FIFApresident1:
Homosexuality is inbuilt, it's not a choice.

Our God dey create sha.

Homosexuality is a choice....it is not inbuilt


If it was inbuilt like you think why was Sodom and Gomorrah destroyed?

Benard5050:
I'm 29 yrs old, I had a breakup with the girl I've been dating for 4 yrs this year April. Since then it has been so hard for me 2 be in a relationship cos I think my ex could still come back cos I still love her.

I had a brief relationship with a lady last 2 months but didn't last long cos I'm still yet over my ex.

There's this lady that joined my working place and also my next-door neighbor, she's kind and her character has been so gud for d six weeks she started working at my place of work.

I think I'm loving her but I will not want what happened with d lady I had a brief relationship with to happen again.

Guys do u think I should go ahead and ask her out?

I'm scared of d negative that might arise cos we are working in d same establishment even though I'm a senior colleague to her there.

Guys is this advisable? I'll be on d tread to answer any question u might want to ask. Thanks.

Even though office relationship is a no no for me, it still works for some people.


But my concern here is you...you have to heal properly and get over your ex before you think about dating again. Fix yourself because you won't like it if the reverse was the case.

Promzy99:
Strange things do happen guys. Yerterday being sunday, My babe and I went out 2 take some bottles as usual @ one of our favourite bar in Oyigbo. So it happend that we finished late cos of the interesting nollywood movie that was showing on African magic @ the bar.

She got calls 4rm home that there is a heavy presence of Army men harrassing and flogging people. For safety purpose, I decided that we lodge in nearby guest house to spend the nite and this is our first time spending the nite 2geda.

While sleeping, (me I wasn't that deep at sleep cos of the alcoholic drink) with her left leg wrappd around me, I startd feeling some wet sensation. Immediately, I turnd on my phone's torch, lol and behold my babe was zapping. I got shocked. I woke her up with anger, she feeling very sorry, hugged me and was pleading with me seriously with tears dripping down her eyes. I couldn't help but to feel sorry for her too.

She said she's been battling with that issue since childhood.

Please, how can I help her?

She needs to stop eating late
She needs to set an alarm that should be waking her up at least every 2hours
She needs to consciously be aware of herself and mind the quantity of liquid she takes every day

And most importantly, she has to pray about it and ask the spirit of God to help her...

You also have to be supportive
Encourage her
You don't have to put her away because of that.

[quote author=Cashsteady post=105224144]I dated this girl for Like 7 months.. We were actually into a serious relationship untill one night I just decided to break up cuz I just lost interest...



You're so selfish and self-centered.

You just lost interest and broke up.

You didn't care about her at all to even get serious in the first place.

Dude you need to fix yourself so you don't go about hurting people's feelings as if it's your right.

Beebah2000:
Why do people still cheat on people they truly love??

I think it's good to know why someone truly loves you. A person can claim to love you because they're attracted to certain things about you and not you entirely (as a whole). And you on the other hand may feel like they love you...that's why you have to be observant and ask questions to be sure and do not just assume.

binarymachine:
“Okay, back up a second, I can do forgiveness but you see forgetting? Uh uh I can’t. You see I come from a long line of historians, we keep track of people who have done us wrong, so I am definitely not going to do that. People do not actually change, they say they do but they don’t, you have to shine your eyes, watch out for the next time they are going to do the same thing, so you toss them off and move on”.

Wait- that’s a whole lot of work, to watch out for someone’s mistakes. Well let’s move on.
Now, What Does It Actually Mean To Forgive?
Well, from the English Dictionary It means;

a) To absolve somebody completely for a past or wrong doing;
b) to pardon with neither resentment nor a view to retribution.

Now To Forget means to overlook, pass over, disremember.

Look at the second definition of Forgive carefully, it says to pardon “without resentment”. How would you forgive someone and then still have that chip on your shoulder. Wait, What? What kind of chip? Well it’s the one you have as a constant reminder that somehow, somewhere that person you just forgave will repeat the same thing or even worse do something more terrible to you. So you tell the person you have forgiven him/her and you convince yourself that you have, but deep within, you sure know you’re holding back.

Robert Brault said- “If you can’t forgive and forget, pick one”. I would beg to disagree because you see,
If you pick forgiving and decide not to forget, often times you may find yourself stuck. How so? When you forgive an individual for wronging you, you give yourself the opportunity to move on,to grow. If the person is your friend, you know he/she won’t deliberately hurt you and even if they do, it would be a mistake, and they would immediately apologise.

Now, the growth process will make this person (friend or not) to be a better individual if he chooses to. But most importantly you will be a better person and you will feel good, better you would feel great.
Look at it this way? How would you feel if you lashed out on your friend in anger. She is hurt and you apologise quickly, you didn’t mean to hurt her, but for your “quick tongue”. She says she has forgiven you and now you have the past behind you and both move on. Seems the friendship is progressing until six months later, you lashed out on her again, this time not deliberately.

The therapist you’ve been visiting for the past months said you breathe in and breathe out for at least five seconds before saying anything when angry. It has been working but today you slipped, this one time, so you apologise. She is enraged, she looks you in the face and says you’ll never change, that you’d keep doing the same thing over and over again, to make matters worse, she goes down memory lane to recount each of your past misdoings. Yes I know how you would feel. Your shoulders are slumped, you’re sorry and hurt.

You realize now, she didn’t actually forgive you, she just told you she did but she didn’t in the real sense of the word. The progress you were trying to make to be a better person now looks like a mirage. You feel terrible. Then you may decide to break off the relationship to stay true to yourself and be with someone who would help your growth process. Or worse, you may decide to believe that you aren’t going to be a better individual, that you will never change and pretty soon it will take a toll on you.
On the other hand, to truly forget a wrong, you have to go through a process of healing, which will make it easy for you to move on.

After all, Confucius said-” To be wronged is nothing, unless you continue to remember it”. This can’t really happen without you forgiving the person who hurt you and forgiving yourself. You forgive yourself for letting this person into your life, and letting him/her hurt you that way.

Now don’t take this the wrong way, forgiving and forgetting a person’s wrong shouldn’t make you to constantly allow toxicity in your life or allow people who constantly bring you down to remain. Sometimes if it’s a friendship, forgetting may mean to shut the door completely and never look back, never allow such a fellow into your life again. It helps your sanity.

In forgiving and forgetting, you get to be wiser, stronger and very powerful- you are in control of your emotions. You know the people to avoid in the future and you know the people to let in, you know the steps to take when wrong and you know how to let go and move on. I’ll conclude with this quote by Mahatma Gandhi, “The weak can never forgive, forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.”
Source:
https://flipmemes.com/2021/08/25/is-there-such-a-thing-as-forgive-and-forget/

Forgetting doesn't really mean that you forget totally after forgiving.

The way is see forgive and forget is like this....when someone offends you and you forgive them, the forgetting aspect is not using that particular thing as a reminder next time when they offend you.

For example, your bf/gf cheats on you and then they apologize and amend their ways....you forgive them, then along the line you have a heated argument over something else and then you say something like "that's how you cheated on me the other day"...that statement there shows that you haven't totally forgiven and forgotten. But when you don't bring up or use it against them, then it shows that you have forgiven and forgotten.

MeghaneMorgane:
I am a young lady in my mid 20s. I don’t live with my parents. I live alone because I work in another city different from where my parents live. My problem now is immediately I get back home from work, I begin to feel lonely. Because of this, I like to close late from work just to keep my mind busy. I close early only if I have other errands to run or if I am very tired.

When I get home, I speak with my parents who try their best to keep me company. But there is still lots of time left before I go to bed. In the height of my boredom, I come to nairaland. Then I go to other blogs to read the news. I read all the news blogs I normally follow. I check out my chats on WhatsApp and Telegram. Usually there isn’t anyone chatting with me because everyone is busy with their lives. I go to Youtube which I have become tired of watching. And at some time I’m just bored to my mind. I don’t like to impose myself on anybody and so I only chat with people who come to chat with me including neighbours.

Sometimes I just want someone around that I can talk to but I’m alone by myself. Single people, how do you cope with boredom. I mean single people who are really single not the ones cohabiting or visiting their partners. Some tips will be very helpful right now.

Same experience and it just gets worse sometimes and frustrating, but finding other meaningful things that makes you productive and effective still helps too.

...if you need a chat buddy you can holla me

Priceless007:
Hello Nairalanders,

It's a long story, but I'll try to keep it short and to the vital points. Please endure the length.

There's a girl i met at a theological college in where I was studying to become a clergyman and also learning a skill under the civil engineering department of the college. She was my junior in the course, as I was a year away from graduating from my first course, while she was just a fresher. She was always having issues getting through her courses and projects and would always ask for my assistance since I was the course rep in that department. It was forbidden to have any intimate relationship with your course mate or anyone in the college for that matter, the penalty would be expulsion. But unfortunately for me, out of sheer lust and seduction on her part, and gross indiscipline and lack of self control on my part, I got intimate with her and we ended up committing fornication during one of our semester vacations. And it just happened once, of which out of deep regret and remorse I confessed the matter to the college Admin when the next semester resumed. We were panelled, after which I was suspended, while she was expelled.

During this time I was learning a skill sponsored by the college, of which I use to get paid some weekly stipend. After I was suspended I was also stopped from continuing my apprenticeship, because I was not to associate with any of the students or lecturers in the school while my suspension lasted. So I was without a job and without a source of income since I wasn't yet mastered on the skill. The condition that was given to me to resume my studies and apprenticeship was that I should go and get married before I could come back to college, so as not to be tempted to repeat my error. But I wasn't ready for marriage whether financially or any other wise for that matter. So while I was contemplating my next move, this girl came to me that she was pregnant, that she needed us to go and see her parents. I told her I had no money neither was I ready to father a child at this point in my life. I pleaded she should give me time to think about what next to do. Two weeks passed, and I called her to enquire about her welfare but her number wasn't reachable, I decided to go to her place, but I was told she had travelled a week ago to go see her family. A week later, I received a call from a woman telling me she was the girl's mother, that her daughter came home with a pregnancy, and she asked me if I was responsible for the pregnancy, I answered her in the affirmative. She then asked when I was coming to see her family. I told her I wasn't sure about coming to see them that I needed to speak to the girl first. She said okay, then later that day the girl called me, and I told her to come back for us to talk deliberate on the way forward. When she came she told me her parents (who are by the way divorced) will not accept her nor the pregnancy without me coming to see them for marriage arrangements.

I explained to her I wasn't ready for any such thing, that I have a calling to answer and a course to finish, that what happened between us was just a stupid and careless mistake that has been as a setback for me to achieve my goal, and that I was ready to overcome the trials and get back on track, and I explained to her that before then I had neither dated nor been intimate with anyone for over seven years, and so any kind of relationship or marriage was not even in my nearest future plans, and besides, I didn't even have a job, not to mention having enough money to embark on a marriage plan. She said she would never accept such excuse, that I should look for whatever means to make sure I come see her parents before her pregnancy becomes obvious. She also said that she needed money to move her belongings back to Imo state where her family resides. I agreed to raise some money for her. I went to do some menial jobs and raised some money, about ₦20k, which I gave to her and she traveled back to Owerri. From then on her parents kept calling and pressuring me to come and see them for marriage arrangements. I told them I was going to come, but just to introduce myself to them as the person responsible for their daughter's pregnancy not for any marriage arrangements. But they disagreed, that if I wasn't ready to come for marriage that I shouldn't bother coming. I pleaded with them to give me enough time to look for money to come and see them, but they instead started threatening me with court cases and arrests, at one time they brought the girl and some soldiers to my family house and harassed my family members including my mother.

So I later traveled to Benin city to go look for money. After one week of my arrival in Benin, I lost my phone and I couldn't retrieve my number. I lost connection with them until I got back to Uyo where I got her phone number from a friend of hers. At this time, I was told that they came to my house several times with police officers claiming I raped their daughter and impregnated her then absconded. At this, I established contact with the girl again and she told me that I should not bother her that she wasn't in the mood to talk to me, I kept calling her but she often ended up abusing me or we often times ended up in quarrels, so I left her alone for sometime.

Two weeks ago I related the matter to one of my distant uncles, who advised me to gather some money and go see her, I called her and told her I wanted to come and see her before she puts to bed, which is expected to be sometime next month (August). But she told me that she still stands by what her parents had said, if it's not for the marriage issue that I should not come, that I should rather send her the money I would use in coming so she can use it to buy the baby clothing and buy some hospital requirements before she puts to bed. I called her parents and they told me the same thing, and said if I don't come for the marriage agreement before she puts to bed, that after she's delivered of the baby I should forget ever coming, and should never mention that I have a child anywhere not to mention coming to claim it ever in the future. And that I should just forget about her and the child.

The issue now is this, I am a bit frustrated because I seem to have lost everything at the moment because of this issue; my calling, the skill I was learning is gone, I have no job aside the menial jobs I do at construction sites which isn't available regularly. Now the little I have saved so far, I am contemplating on whether to use the money to pay for my skills training and continue with it and start my life afresh and forget about her, the child, and her parents, or use the money to support her in her hospital requirements for her delivery. Because I don't want to be seen as abandoning her when she is in this condition, and I also don't want to give up on the child, though I'm not capable of taking care of the girl and the baby right now, and probably, I might end up getting married but not under my present circumstances. I know I've made a grave mistake and this is the consequences for not being true to myself and my calling, and I deeply regret it, and I've suffered for it in any way I can possibly imagine, but I also need to put my life back in order, because right now I'm so devastated that I'm contemplating terrible alternatives to survive the storm, I'm at a very critical moment of my life and I just feel like giving up on life altogether. Please I need your help and advice on this issue. Thanks.

PS. Please if anyone is willing to teach me any skill, I would be very grateful and willing to learn.

I think you're selfish

She has a future too, but all you cared about was yourself. I think that if you were rational in your thoughts and actions you could have made better decisions.

Even though you don't have the money to get married, you could have taken your parents to go see hers, they would have found a way around this far better than how you've handled it so far.

You brought this on yourself due to your handling of it.
You do not have to forget about her and your baby. You can still go with one or both of your parents or an elderly person that can mediate for you, it will show some level of respect to her parents.

chocolateme:
I come from a very strict background.
I grew up in fear, submission and obedience to my parents, elders and relatives. I am well mannered. I have anger and temper issues but it never goes beyond sulking and crying silently to get it off my chest. I find it difficult to let go when aggravated but in trcent times, i have worked on myself so much that i channel my displeasure to free tears flowing down my cheeks after which i let go of everything.

I am always looking for excuses to run away from any form of marriage discussion whenever its comes to that, i don't give room to premarital sex. I don't know how to overcome this. When my potential suitor seems so nice and with good disposition and everything worth craving for , then i ask myself " who are these people that end up enemies suddenly and what on earth can cause someone to become so horrible that a once lovely marriage turns into chaos "

Honestly, i believe that with my tolerance level that i can manage a home and marriage but then,how can you tell that of your potential partner?

Sometimes, i just want to remain like this and grow old and still be very happy but then societal and family pressure to get married and have your own kids keeps getting higher which results to my running away more and more. To make it worse, i don't keep friends.
Who knows how to overcome this and how can it be ok?

Exactly the state I'm at now...fully aware of myself, what I can accommodate, etc. Then the concern of what the potential spouse would be, if they possess the kinda energy or if they will be willing to learn.

But in all, even as we patiently work to get to that point or end up with the kinda partners we need, we also need to consciously tell ourselves that we would one day have that peaceful loving home we so much desire, we need to be positive.

Every marriage passed through some degrees of fire to get to where it is today...it depends mainly on the two people involved. So praying for & working towards finding the right spouse made for you to build together to achieve the kind of marriage you both desire for me, should be the major concern.

Fix your fears
Reset your mindset
Look for the positives in every situation
Learn from your past, from other people
Try as much as possible not to hold on to negative energy
Speak life into what you desire and into the kind of spouse you pray for
Then watch how it starts manifesting in your life

BonPatrick:
Good morning guys I leave alone and I don't know how to cook soup but can cook stew and others so I called my ex girlfriend yesterday and she is married last year so she came we went to market and buy food stuffs and she cooked for me. I want to know if is wrong for a married lady to do that?

If your wife does that for her ex how will you feel?

KingintheNorth:
Would you rather have your partner confess that they cheated on you or keep it to themselves?

Tell me....

It's better I hear it from you than someone else.
And since you're telling me it shows you want to change, so it's left for you to show it through your actions too

seleroms2:
https://thewillnigeria.com/news/reno-omokri-abandons-wife-in-america-welcomes-new-baby-with-uk-based-lover/

Chaiii
These allegations are false o
He had the child with his wife in the US.

People don start.
May God have mercy o

morinto:
It won't affect the guy but the girl will just be useless and can never be productive thereby making her a lliability to the hustling guy

It will affect the guy too
Sex is a covenant and exchange of spirits are involved.
When you have sex whatever is in you goes into that person and whatever is in them comes into you.

assamu1122:
Please post for me ASAP

My girlfriend of two years just informed me that she got pregnant with another man. That she has just done a test and it's positive. This is a woman I have gone to her family with my people and have collected and argued list. I have started buying marriage stuff on this list and now, this happened. I am confused.


What should I do please?

Let her go be with the father of her child.

IamBroke:
Okay there's this lady I met at a friend's place. She's free spirited and kind of nasty.

She's married with 3 kids but she's not living with her husband, reasons I don't know.

I believe she'd be 5 years if not more older than me but yet she calls me like I'm with her kidney...
I can't even believe the kind of stuff we do though we've not had sex but she's pushing me that way but that's one thing I don't want to do cause she's married and I'm feeling guilty.

I don't want to hurt her and I don't want to continue this stuff with her and I don't want to avoid her either.

So what do I do now?

Advise me on what to do please

It's either you please or displease her!
It's either you make her happy or you hurt her!

chatinent:
Imagine yourself in this dilemma:

You kind of found yourself in an unpropitious situation. You traveled down to a certain place for sth personal only to stumble upon a lady who seemed cultured at first sight. She initiated a conversation, and also suggested you keep in touch on WhatsApp. You were waiting for your client.


At first, her benignancy made you feel she meant no harm -- there's no harm interacting with a nice person, you felt...even though you sensed a touch of pride and authority the way she spoke. She also walked with a bounce kind of.

Of late, the clock has refused to hit twelve. She has become your hunting shadow. You clearly told her you weren't single, neither were you interested in an affair nor can you offer anything more than a friend.

She wanted more. She proposed an alter ego, which you declined due to some craze she was already exhibiting. She's a rich spoilt brat.

She also suggested you lied to “whomever you are dating” she was your old-time bestie, which you also declined upfront.


You have tried almost everything polite without mincing words. There's no miscibility between you both. You have called her and spoken to her in camera, feigned anger, avoided her..but all your efforts seem to be to no avail.


How do you show this sort of person the nearest exit without being rude?

Please give me her contact

IamBroke:
Even me I'm guilty of this.. especially as a broke ass niqqer I find it hard to Toast girls that are financially stable.

One thing about them is that..they are so confident when talking to you.

You can't even use money to get them.
Most of them are so disrespectful because they have money..

Don't know about other men, but me, I don't fear them...
Is there anyone available?

tommie1:
I have an issue bugging me and I need some serious advise because I have been very indecisive so far.

There is a lady I'm seeing. She came to my place a few weeks ago and we had sex, first with condoms and later without condoms.

However, I gave her some money to get postinor when she left for her place the next morning.

That morning, I asked if she got the drug when she called to say she had arrived home and she said "yes".

I called her again that evening to ask if she had taken it and she said "yes".

A few weeks later, she called to say she is pregnant.

As I later found out, at least according to what she said, she took the drug the next day after arriving at her home and not on that day she told me she took it. She gave some flimsy excuse as to why she did it but it does not matter anymore at this point.

At this moment, we are considering removing the baby.

While I have been very indecisive, she has agreed to go with whatever decision I take and has spoken to a doctor who will do it this Friday.

However, I am unsure as of this moment if I want to go on with this because even though I am done with uni, I do not think I have gotten to that point where I can shoulder more responsibilities.

I am self employed and somewhat financially okay but not in a way that I can take care of three people, particularly a baby. I was okay as of 2019 until COVID came and turned my life upside down last year.

And believe me, I was really glad I was not married as of last year because I went through hell. Serious hell. The lockdown finished me.

I am slowly recovering (very slowly) and still trying to figure my way out through life and rebuilding what I lost but I am afraid that having the burden of a woman and baby at this point may derail me.

And I really do not know who to turn to when I am unable to provide for the both of them.

What do you guys think? Do I go on with this or just let the baby be?

You will find a way to survive with her and the baby.
Please do not kill that innocent child as a result of your carelessness.
I'm sure you wouldn't want to be a murderer for the rest of your life.

Truthlord12:
Good evening people please I need your advice regards to this, I got separated from my ex girlfriend last year because she told me her travel plans abroad I was a bit sceptic About the nature of job she’ll do there, she’s the type that’s ready and willing to do anything to help her family.

After everything I told her not to embark on the journey that she should be patient with me, once my business picked up I’ll care for her and her family, she refused and traveled last year, few months before she left she gave me some money to add to my business I wouldn’t want to state the actual amount but a bit huge. Of recent her family really suffering because my ex had issue with the person that took her abroad so she’s passing through difficult time though she’s hiding some info from me since she’s not able to make money, she called me of recent that I should please do anything to help her family.

Now I’ve got a new girlfriend I told my new girlfriend about the issue but she said I shouldn’t give my ex family any money, because we ain’t together anymore that if I do she’ll leave me

Please people help me what should I do? My mind is really disturbing me and I still love my ex I wish I’ve a way to bring her back to Nigeria so we can start a family I don’t care the type of job she went there to do and I don’t mind what she has been through. She did so much for me, she made sacrifice that this my new girl won’t do, I don’t even know if my new girlfriend loves me or because of my money.

Though I love my new girlfriend but part of me is with my ex I don’t know if she’ll will be willing to return though I’ve not discussed it with her. And now my new girlfriend threatening to leave me if I assist or give back the money my ex gave me as support for my business before she travelled to her family I’ve been down for days thinking so much.

Your gf is very selfish
Whether you still love your ex or not, please help her family if you can, and do it as soon as possible.

If your gf wants to leave please let her!

Beosten:
I was very sure. My visions had always been 99% correct all the time. I was barely about 3 months in the ministry and you expect me to tell someone that her child should not leave Nigeria after procuring visa?

God rvealed it to you cos you were in the best position to tell her. You said you've been having the calling since 2005 and you also said you just started ministry 3months ago...

I think you should pray for spiritual understanding cos to you you are new but based on your calling you're older and your story still shows that you need to build your confidence in speaking up when given a revelation.

David didnt say because hes new to the ministry, he wouldnt fight Goliath.
You will be held accountable but i believe God will be merciful on you... Thank God the boy didnt die the feelings would have been worse.

Divine89:
Hello everybody. I am Nigerian based in France. My English it is not 100% perfect but I will try to make it possible for you to understand me with the help of google french to English translator and my story is also long sorry for that.

When I was 9 years old I joined my uncle, my mum's younger brother in France. He declared me as his daughter. During that time he only had one child, 2 years old. He and the wife were so loving to me. I never lacked anything in their house.

But when I turned 12, I went to secondary school. I met some bad friends there. This is where the problem started.I became a very difficult child. I will go to school come home late. My uncle will beat and beat me but I never listened. I smoked my first cigarette at 12 and had my first sex at 13 and I started running away from home to stay with boyfriends. Sometimes I can go for a week and when uncle reporta me missing, the police will be looking for me, then they will bring me back home.

Then at 14 I went to school and lied to my teacher that my uncle was abusing me. I told them he was beating me with belts, electric wire, they don’t give me foods and I really said a lot of bad things about them doing to me to make my teacher believe my story so they could take me away from them because I wanted freedom and my teacher believed me and reported to the police and child protection, they are people who take away abused children from their parents. They took custody of me and my uncle three children, the youngest was 6 months old to their care and they gave us to this white lady to care for us and my uncle and wife were arrested for child abuse and the police were doing some investigation.

After spending 1yr 9 months in care of the white lady I dropped out school. They found out that I was a difficult child that I lied to get freedom so they have decided to give my uncle his children back to him while I stayed in care of white people but my uncle had sworn because I made him lost his children for 1yr 9 months that I will never found happiness in my life and I will never enjoy the fruit of my labour which it is true as I am typing this.

I have given birth to 6 children by 6 men and none of the children is living with me. The first one was taken away from me at 2 months old because I beat her up and fractured her hands and I also tested positive for heroinn (drugs), so that did not stop me from giving birth second child was removed from my care 4 hours after birth she also tested positive for heroin the same way my other children were removed at birth too so I carry on with my lifestyles. I did not care about my children at that time all I care about was sex, alcohol and drugs this is what I wanted and I have been to prison several times for selling drugs and fraudsters. The longest I have spent in prison was 2 years then after i left prison, I met with this sister who introduced me to this church she attended so I went along with her, the pastor told me to confess my sin to him and promised it will be a secret between I, him and God which I did repented and accepted Jesus as my saviour. To be honest, my life did changed a lot, I fell the peace in my heart , enjoyed going to church every Sunday but this pastor went tell his wife my life story and the wife told everyone in church my life story and started using it against me so it made me so angry that I left the church in November 2017 without looking back. I have decided not to attend any church again. I have stopped alcohol, taking drugs and sleeping with men I no longer do it. I prayed at home, read my bible and behaving good and it's almost 2 years I havnt slept with a man and i went to look for my uncle asking him for forgiveness but he has refused and I send him many text messages begging him to forgive and I still no heard anything from him or the wife even their children I have tried to ask them forgiveness they have blocked me and they all want nothing to do with me even my own parents and siblings in Africa they have rejected me, none of them want to talk to me, my parents said i am dead to them, it is so painful I cry everyday in my prayers, as for my children 4 of them are adopted with new family. I can't see them again maybe until they are 18 years old If they want to know me if they don't want I will have no choice to accept it and my 2 youngest children i am only allowed to see them once a year in a children play centre with someone supervise because they don't let me to be alone with them and soon I will stop visiting them because they are planning to adopt them to a new family too that will mean I will have nobody on this earth.

I regret my mistake so bad I wish I could change it but it will no be impossible. I can't have more children because they will be removed from me like the others and I am only 31years old. I don't know if my repentance was genius because my family has refused to forgive me and my question goes like this if they never forgive me will I ever found happiness again or I will just have to accept it until I died?

Please, advise me in a Christian way maybe if there's more I can do and also prayed for me so my family will be able to forgive me and also pray for my two children that nobody will adopt them so I can get custody of them and i promised to be a good mother to them, please I am begging you in the name of God.

I will advice that you keep praying and trusting God to soften their hearts so they can forgive you...everything is possible with God. Its a good thing that you've repented and decided to be a better person...God sees and knows the heart of everyone and He's the only one that can turn things around for you and bring your uncle ,family and kids back to you.

I will also advice that you see this movie... "OVERCOMER" its going to uplift your faith and trust in God..you story is just like that of one of the main characters and I pray you find your peace and trust in God after seeing that movie.

God bless you...and you will fulfill your purpose...also pray that God directs you to a bible believing church that will help you grow ...please don't give up.

Ndubuisipaul1:
At the age of 25 I was mocking a man that got married at the age of 33 I told him that he married too late. Now am 32 I don't even know when I will get married because of lack of money.

Many of our Nigerian girls are not married because ,we guys don't make money on time to marry them. Am 32 no girlfriend ( because I cannot sustain them ) and no plans of marriage , and you are blaming the ladies . Will tree marry them?

Meanwhile I am a professional photographer, and videographer.

Your opinion or just a flashed thought....but not a FACT!

iamyemiakins:
SEVEN THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO WHEN MEETING YOUR PARTNER'S PARENTS FOR THE FIRST TIME.

This is a major step in a relationship, so the first impression can be a lasting impression, believe me when I say that.

1. PLAYING WITH YOUR PHONE

Avoid being on your phone, texting, checking your mail, facebooking or chatting. Sometimes most of us do it unknowingly. It is true some chicks do that just to keep themselves busy, but your spouse parents might feel dismissed and think you are not interested in getting to know them, especially, So avoid your phone at that first time.

2. LIE TO MAKE YOURSELF LOOK GOOD

Being fake instead of who you truly are is a mistake that can upset your partner's parents, and even your partner. Remember, they may get to know who you are later or in your absence, and it could really hurt your relationship. If you have told your partner the truth about you and your partner has accepted the kind of person you are, his/her parents should be able to do same. So there is no need of lying to attract their likeness.

3. BRINGING UP A CONTROVERSIAL TOPIC FOR DISCUSSION

Please don't bring up a topic like Religion, Politics, or s3x for discussion, even if you know that your believe are in line with your partner's parents. Some people still consider it bad for bringing up such topic for discussion before them. Concentrate on getting to know them more rather than those topics. If they keep discussing such topic among themselves, do more of listening.

4. DON'T GIVE LONG SPEECHES, MAKE YOUR SPEECHES BRIEF

Despite the fact that they are very interested in getting to know you, they also do not want to spend the entire time listening to your life story. Don't tell them stories about how your father divorced your mother when you were a teenager, how your community people burnt a woman to ashes for insulting her hubby, and all that. Make your speeches brief and interesting.

5. PUBLIC DISPLAY AFFECTION

Yes, public display of affection can be wonderful,but there is appropriate time for it. This does not mean you have to become cold, distant and robotic. Feel relaxed, interact with them gently, smile and be friendly, but make it neutral, rather than behaving as if you are desperate to have them as in laws.

6. DON'T FINISH ANY FOOD GIVEN TO YOU

Whether the food is small or plenty, and no matter how delicious it is. Never ask for alcohol if you are asked to make a choice of drink. Don't be carried away. This is very important.

7. DON'T PASS THE NIGHT THERE

No matter the persuation, don't pass the night in their house on your first day of visit.


You can also add yours...

https://m.facebook.com/103658061331200/posts/7-things-you-should-not-do-when-meeting-your-partners-parents-for-the-first-time/120618422968497/

I totally disagree with number 6 and 7

What if they have the impression that you don't really like the food and you just ate so they don't feel like you're rejecting it.. I remember that my now in-laws asked for extra self...

Why won't you sleep in their house especially when you came from far...or do you find their house unaccommodating or what?...or what truly is your reason for not spending the night on your first day...

Abbeylanre15:
I work in finance company and I'm in charge of all accounts. All monies are been remitted to me. The M.D of this organization is such a generous but uneducated woman. My colleagues are leveraging on this to siphon organization's funds to their various pockets. I'm not oblivious of this fact because I'm so sensitive to things around me,but I am d God fearing type that won't participate in such a dirty act.
I've called majority of those in this illicit act privately to warn them and let them know the implications. But to my utmost surprise, the bull-shit keep getting high and d MD is not the type to tell such hidden things, she will reveal the identity of her Intel.
The problem now is that,if this act persist,the company may go bankrupt sooner than later. Even though,the job is not worth dying for,half bread they said it's better than none. I can't afford to be jobless.
Please advise me on what to do?


NB: I'VE SUBMITTED APPLICATION TO OTHER COMPANIES BUT NO RESULT YET.

Do what is right and pleasing before the sight of God....

Crazeman03:
Yes I truly love her and she feel thesame way. Though she till have doubt and always feel insecure about me. She believes one day I will walk away.

Seek medical advice about breast feeding and ask for the alternatives...