₦airaland Forum

angelchinny:
Am a well dedicated nairalander but I created this new account for this issue. I have been married for 4 years now with 3 children and since the 2nd year of our marriage my husband has been constantly cheating on me.

The way he goes about it is even heartbreaking, he does it like his into a love relationship with them and not just for fun.

There is this particular girl that he calls like 3 times everyday because I check his call log and saw they keep in touch more than twice everyday. I stupidly called the girl and warned her to stay clear off my man and she confessed he didn't tell her he was married, I confronted my hubby and he was forming defensive and was telling me dat am accusing him wrongly and he will soon start cheating. I called the girl back in the evening and she told me that even as am calling that his call is entering her phone, that he called earlier to beg her to give him chance to explain..The next day I left with my children to a far away state and he pleaded that he will change and all that. The issue is that he continued with this shameless behaviour, our live-in nanny later confessed to my cousin last month that he approached her and I was so devastated. He knelt down and begged and I easily forgave him..


Forgive me for my long episode but I really need your help on how to punish him cos I went to his call log yesterday and saw the same girl that made me take the risk to leave with my children to another state calling him again and he is reciprocating the calls..his a very jealous person, he goes crazy when a male friend calls me..I want to make him pass through all the pains I have endured all these years.. What do I do pls?

you didn't give any details of your courting years, cos the way i see it is that your hubby has always been a cheat and you were hoping that he will change when you get married or you got married because you got pregnant, or you were ignorant during courtship to his philandering. I might be wrong but his present character points to this directions, well if it was any of the mentioned then you made your bed you should as well lay on it cos only a higher power can cause him to change.

if the a mentioned is not your case then you have to find out what the cause of his philandering is. it could be you are not sexually attractive to him, of he like different to experiment methods and styles which you are not disposed to. for starters i suggest you start dressing real good nice makeup curvey cloths etc try and get his attention.

most importantly report him to God, if you notice i said report not complain, tell him you have kept your own end of the bargain of marriage but hubby isn't doing his part. trust me when God deals with him he will come crawling back to you.

Because you believe in God doesn't mean you should be stupid faith without works is dead alone, please take precautionary measures in protecting yourself and children from diseases.

you both should go see a counsellor to talk about the problem.

be warey of those that tell you to leave your matrimonial home, that should alway be the last option not the first, you remember you said for better or worse, well the worse is here now so stand and fight for your marriage. Have friendly talks about the issue with your husband and you both propose ways to solving his problem and execute your proposition. God bless you

The down fall of PDP started when GEJ or the party couldn't control the first lady. Imagine if amachi didn't decamp, to show how useless the party was they couldn't reconcile the waring parties instead they were taking sides.

I am afraid for PDP cos the thread holding their fabric is money and the less they have the weaker the party becomes, the economic reality of the country does not favour them I foresee the death of PDP and a new party emerging and God help the new party that it doesn't produce a northern candidate at the center.

lets be sincere the reason for all these noise is that money isn't circulating like before. its hard to accept but its the bitter truth

It will be uncharitable to say Gej didn't contribute to the development of Nigeria, but one thing I have inferred from all the high profile thefts in his government is that GEJ corruption proof the kobo but fortified the corruption of the naira.

It takes two stones to strike a fire, marriages are not made in heaven they are made on earth and it takes hard work to make marriages work. Yes both parties are involved in making a marriage work but the woman has a bigger responsibility because she is the home maker/builder, a man can finance a hope but he is not a home builder. The sooner we accept this reality the better for our society.

Secondly two wrongs don't make a right, because a husband or wife do no take responsibility for their action does not give the other party the right to misbehaviour.

Puting out another man's candle doesn't brighten yours. Learn from your mistake and move on, with time if the guy refuses to change judgement will catch up with him. And for the sake of next time properly define your relationship and get people close to both of you involved .it helps in curtailing misbehaviour on both sides.

The bitter truth is that our constitution is a dead document, billions flying all about yet there is serial lack in the country. It no longer about APC or pdp left to me they are six and half a dozen, its about the Nigerian people standing up to their right and demanding that financial recklessness must stop.

I believe the only level of education that should be free is the primary education and it shouldn't just be free it should be thorough, a primary school leaver should be able to express his or her self in good English.

Government need to regulate and not interfere in the daily lives of its citizens, government ought not to be paying for exams or feeding of students instead empower their parents to do so, it balances the sense of responsibility on the part of the government and parents. When the government pays for all the educational needs of a children the parents will also expect that they monitor the child.

Aminat508:
How do you react when you have a young child that steals? You've talked to him/her several times, told him/her everything that has to be said about the consequences of pilfering. You do ALL you can to provide his needs and wants. But he keeps 'doing it'. How do you help or stop such a child? A reader sent this in yesterday:

Hello,

My son steals from me, my husband, my mother, his grandparents, his friends, everybody!! Please, let's discuss this here because I'm sure I'm not the only mother having this problem. If it's not money, it's things as small as tiny toys and games from neighbors. Sincerely, it's gotten so bad I don't know what to do with him anymore. My husband and I now have locks on our bedroom door to keep him out.

Problem started when he was 11 and got into boarding school. He is 13 now. I've threatened him that next time he steals, I would have the police involved. Of course I don't want to or plan to do that but I don't know what else to do.



Source :http://www..com/talk/topic,250835.0.html

someone close to your child at his tender age was stealing, thats where he picked it up from. i would advice you change his school to begin with and then draw your boy close to you with affection and prayer. affection to know why he steals and prayer to change things, don't rule out peer pressure he might just want certain things his friends have it's your responsibility to teach him about contentment.

What we need is labour laws in this country.

ConfessionsNgr:
What could have made my teenage son interested in sex at his age when he should be serious with his studies? He is 14-years-old and in SS1. This is a boy brought up in a good Christian home. Maybe the mistake was the laptop his dad bought for him. We had thought it will aid him in his studies but he is using it for something that could destroy his future. I’m so sad about it. That night, I was hearing some sound from his room around 11PM and I could understand what it meant. So I tip-toed to his room and saw him engrossed in the porn movies he was watching. I was so furious; I beat him and seized his laptop. I later got to know he was introduced to porn by a class-mate of his. I told him I’m changing his school. He has been begging me not to tell his dad when he returns from his trip but I feel his father should be aware of the whole thing. Parents out there, how can I check this situation?


Posted anonymously on www.confessionsnigeria.com
http://confessionsnigeria.com/post/203/i-caught-my-14-year-old-son-watching-porn

What kind of a question is should you tell his father, of course you ought to training your ward is a collective effort of parents. You didn't say anything about giving your boy sex education so I guess u shy away from it, cos if u did porn n its consequences would have come up. Don't dialogue with your child train him if u feel a change of school will be better discuss it with your spouse and implement your decision. Furthermore find a hobby that will take his time and thinking, the less he thinks of porn n sex the less the temptation.

What we need is a system whereby when you work you can live a descent life.

Kaduna has been runed for several years in the so called people policies way and what do we have to show for it? I think it's high time we try something different and its important for mr senator to know that many of such policies may look like punishment now but on the long run its going to pay off. It's time we stop looking at today and start looking at the future.

Just imagine beggars having an association, begging has become a profession in Kaduna and one that doesn't pay taxes for that matter. Or feeding the state during fasting period from government purse, this things are anti developmental in nature no sustainable state can tow the path of prosperity that way.

For us to get a different result we need to start doing things in a different way.

El rufai stated it in his book ''accidental public servant'' that to be successful as a president one has to work at least 18 hours a day seven days a week and you might have to work while eating self cos papers that need attention keep coming up on the presidents table and he has to give all necessary attention OBJ work 18hrs every day as President. If one is not prepared to be a president he is most likely to fail. PMB has the military training and disipline to work at such pace I would only have been surprised if he didn't work at such a pace

A lot of people really don't care that's where the law should come in, the law is meant to make people care about others. Generally the I don't care attitude is our biggest problem in Africa, once me and my family are fine every other person can go to hell.

xynerise:
Going through the developmental stages in life, some teens tend to take a wrong detour in life. Many teens are becoming rebellious to their parents and causing disunity in the family. Setting their own rules in the house and disrespecting anybody who tries to stop them from doing what they wish to do.

"Spare the rod and spoil the child". Does this also applies to teenagers? I guess not. What other psychological ways can we correct this rebellion?

Surround them with love and prayer. Stop telling them they won't amount to nothing in life.

Why are PDP members so eager to know the names on the surposed list? if you have nothing to hide, why worry about the existence or in non existence of a list

jarkbauer:
About 6 months ago my wife started refusing sex. In the last 6months we have had sex only 4 times. I asked her why and she told me her libido is dead. She doesn't feel like having sex. I am at loss. Any woman with this kind of problem. To help her, I asked if she has any fantasy we could fulfill just to spice our sex life and she told me she doesn't have any sexual fantasy.she hardly think about sex. That's why ask in another thread if women usually have sexual fantasy. We are married for 2 years and have 2 kids.

i guess your wife is overwhelmed with the task of taking care of you and the children or you don't show her enough affection. i suggest you take the kids for visit with grandparents say two weeks just for your wife to loosen up a bit and buy her flowers, book a spar section, book her for a full body pamper, come up with adventures like get away weekend book yourselves in a hotel so she doesn't have to cook, clean, and worry. The summation of it all is that your wife is stressed and she needs a break. furthermore as a way of living from now on you need to reduce her work load (going to work, market, church, caring for the kids, cleaning, feeding and cooking) taking care of three kids (you inclusive) is hard work. spice up your marriage now bro you still got many years to live together and please try not to get her pregnant anytime soon put some good space the older the child the lesser attention they need.

natas22:
I can never say anything against any man that says he serves the lord whether his of God or not.

God said his judgement will start from the church so its left for the almighty to do so
www.

Abeg open your eyes, God is not in the business of puting foul spirits in people instead He is setting them free from it. The only spirt God inputs into people is His holy spirit and it sure isn't gay. Finally look into the bible on the life of Jesus, the apostles, and the early church there was never a time they impacted an evil spirit into anyone.

It is our duty to pass judgements based on the word of God like Paul did on the man that was sleeping with his step mother in the church at Corinth.

I kind of agree with OBJ in the sense that the rail rehabilitation done by gej wont be able to accommodate our economic need in say 10 years time and we will have to spend more money in securing a better technology. Proper research, planning, and less politics would have revealed this truth.

When government consoles criminality the result is suffering and under development. Tompolo and his cronies are driving Rolce Royce round the Niger delta in the guise of fighting for emancipation and yet no meaningfull infrastructural development, wild youth unemployment, hunger and suffering. The hard truth is that Tompolo and the likes are fighting for their pocket. If all the oil blocks are ceded to the south south, I believe the rate of development will merely be in baby steps, someone will still corner the bulk of the resources to his backyard. The solution is getting leaders that have their hearts entuned to the development of the Niger delta. Everything rises and falls on leadership may the Niger delta grow and be like Dubai. By the way it is worrisome that some of our leaders are being associated with criminals.

Statements such as these are the reason our growth is impeded as a nation. How can we allow a cartel control our collective wealth? And let's stop creating hideout castles for them under the guise of they are so dangerous and deadly if we all refuse to entertain their excesses they will soon run out of breath. The fact is Mr Tompolo is a criminal and hence shouldn't be given more feathers to soar, and that's what glorifying results in.

If our brave soldiers fighting in the front line of boko haram were not promoted no DSS operatives deserve to be promoted. I really do not subscrib to the posting of Mrs ogar to borno a better way of handling here would have been to post her to a rural local government somewhere in the east thereby making her loose relevance. I feel sorry for her though but the truth be told she acted very unprofessionally as a spokesperson, in a civilised society she would have tendered her resignation.

kutchs:
http://dailymail.com.ng/muhammadu-buharis-united-state-visit-will-cost-nigeria-n2-2billion/

I don't think FG will bank roll the governors n their aids expenses n secondly PMB will be staying in the guest house of the president of America which saves us accommodation monies. A travel expense of $8 million, a delegation of 300 people (what room in the white house will accommodate them?) this report is a little too bogus abeg.

A is moving along a major road and staying in it, so he has the priority while b and c are either joining a major road from a minor or joining a minor from a major

Chad Cameroon and Nigeria formed a joint task force to tackle the insurgents so its perfectly healthy for Chad to bomb a boko haram hide out so far they are in sync with the Nigerian military. They might have taken such actions on intelligence and a delay might have compromised the mission. Either ways boko haram is being crushed

I won't be quick to exonerate either parties, yes its wrong for a man to cheat on his wife but what about the wife, did she perform all her wifely duties?For every effect there is a cause its either the man is a glutton and just wants anything in skirts or he is being staved emotionally or physically (I have a feeling that the latter is the case). Marriages are three folded cords man, woman and God (not Hollywood, not celebrity not public) both parties better go back to the drawing board Hollywood/celebrity/public marriages don't last a marriage is a private thing so better grow up and stop painting the whole cyberspace with your marriage problems and joys. And Mr man irrespective of what ever the situations never cheat on your wife real men only pants down for their wives.

It's now crystal clear our politicians lack ideology they simply drop their logs wherever the ax swings forgetting that a miscalculation will lead to an amputated arm.

Nigerian refinery and their capacities

Kaduna refinery = 100,000 barrels per stream day (bpsd) (1975)
Warri refinery = 100,000 bspd (1978) + 25,000 bspd (upgrade 1987) =125,000 bpsd
Port Harcourt = 60,000 bspd (old 1965) +150,000 bspd (new 1989) =210,000 bpsd
Total installed capacity = 435,000 bpsd

How many gallons of petrol and diesel in a barrel of crude oil

A barrel of crude oil = 42 gallons
A barrel of crude oil = 19 gallons of petrol (71.92 litres) [1 gallon =3.785 litres]
= 12 gallons of diesel (45.42 litres)

Total petrol and diesel output at 70% efficiency

@70% efficiency per day =70%*435,000 bpsd = 304,500 bpsd
Amount of petrol produced @ 70% efficiency = 304,500bpsd * 71.92 =21,899,640 litres per day
Amount of diesel produced @ 70% efficiency = 304,500bpsd * 45.42 =13,830,390 litres per day

Average daily consumption

I couldn’t find any recent data for the total petrol consumption of the year 2014, but according to The Petroleum Products Pricing Regulatory Agency (PPPRA) in 2013 the annual consumption of petrol stood at 39.66 million barrels (6.2billion litres).
Convert barrels to litres at (1 barrel =158 litres) [US barrel to litres]
If the yearly consumption (2013) =6.2 billion litres
Daily consumption (2013) = 6.2billion litres/365 = 17,167,890.41 litres per day

The above information is purely based on standard best practices, but after digging further I discovered statistic for refined products in kaduna refinery as follows
No Product Production Rate
1 PMS 3,857 MT/DAY
2 KEROSENE 1,686 MT/DAY
3 AGO [DIESEL] 3,000 MT/DAY
4 ASPHALT 1,796 MT/DAY
5 LAB 91 MT/DAY
6 BASE OILS 657 MT/DAY
7 LPG 620 MT/DAY
8 FUEL 2,100 MT/DAY

This infers that kaduna refinery only produces 3857 metric tons of petrol per day which is about 5.2 million litres daily assuming the density of petrol is 737.22kg/m3. This production value is 2 million litres shy of the internationally accepted rate which could be due to the age of the plants technology.

Source
NNPC. (2005). Kaduna Refining & Petrochemical Company (KRPC).Available: http://www.nnpcgroup.com/NNPCBusiness/Subsidiaries/KRPC.aspx. Last accessed 10th June 2015.
NNPC. (2005). Warri Refining & Petrochemical Company (KRPC).Available: http://www.nnpcgroup.com/NNPCBusiness/Subsidiaries/WRPC.aspx. Last accessed 10th June 2015.
NNPC. (2005). Port Harcourt Refining Company Limited (PHRC).Available: http://www.nnpcgroup.com/NNPCBusiness/Subsidiaries/PHRC.aspx. Last accessed 10th June 2015.
Energy information Administration. (December 16, 2014). How many gallons of diesel fuel and gasoline are made from one barrel of oil? Available: http://www.eia.gov/tools/faqs/faq.cfm?id=327&t=9. Last accessed 10th June 2015.
Chineme Okafor. (07 Feb 2014). PPPRA: Nigeria Consumed 39.66m Barrels of Petrol in 2013. Available: http://www.thisdaylive.com/articles/pppra-nigeria-consumed-39-66m-barrels-of-petrol-in-2013/170803/. Last accessed 10th June 2015.

ribbit:
5milliom liters? Really?


Sounds to good to be true...

Even dangote's refinery that would be the biggest in the country will be producing just 600thousands

A barrel of crude oil can produce:
19 gallons of gasoline = 71 litres ( 1gallon=3.785)
12 gallons of diesel =45 litres

According to nnpc website the total capacity of pH refinery is that's the old one with 60000 bpsd and the new 150000bpsd combined is 210000 bpsd

Installed capacity gasoline output= 210000*71= 14910000
Which is far above the 5 million barrels we should be asking where the remaining 9 million litres is going.

Conversion source: http://www.eia.gov/tools/faqs/faq.cfm?id=327&t=9