₦airaland Forum

If you sabi good, do am; if na the other one sef you sabi, your own dey wait you.

mariahAngel:
What I like about Nigerians is that we can complain for Africa.
We don't take chances.
Then people from other African countries will think that the situation in Nigeria is worse off than theirs, not knowing that things are actually not that bad in Nigeria compared to their country, but are bad compared to how Nigeria used to be.
Even then, we complained.

Ghana has always been harder than Nigeria.

No vex, what is minimum wage in Ghana? Compare it to that tomatoes and do the same for Nigeria.

What should anyone do with this news? You read some things and can't just find an appropriate rationale for them.

kpakpakpa:
You have completely down my spirit with this post. What you are suggesting is beyond me, i can't boast of 5k in my account presently but would have raise something like 50k or slightly above for any surgery that can make my head silent.
The noise in my head is so loud now that i'm beginning to lose my sanity. It shall not be well with those guys that torture me

I have heard stories of people approaching charities that are interested in the area of their challenges and get help through them. I will suggest you find charities interested in ENT challenges in your spare time, they may be able to sponsor your treatment.

kpakpakpa:
One doctor mentioned something like that but i'm not sure there will be a device that can help me. Moreover, the cost is way beyond me.

Bose cancelation headsets are not too expensive though. It might be able to save you off this current trauma while you work out the next permanent solution.

Cauliflower fufu with okra.

kpakpakpa:
Hearing aid is worst, i wore it once and the sound lasted for weeks in my ears. One specialist told me about a type of hearing aid that can produce a certain sound to mask the one in my ears but he mentioned more than a million naira. Is true like i said earlier that this happened in 2015 and honestly, i did not leave it to fate, i tried every way i'm capable and even borrowed some huge amount to treat this but its looking like there will be no solution.

My only option is to stop hearing completely if there is a way because i don't have the financial chest to pursue this problem anylonger.

Can you get a noise canceling earpiece that can help prevent the noise from entering your ears.

Since you all know all these about her, why do you guys still fight each other over her reported speech? Could it be you all strive to be the favorite/loving when she visits otherwise, at this point, such issues shouldn't be coming up.

kpakpakpa:
Humble greetings fam!

I will like to know if its possible to remove my auditory nerve or anything that can make me to stop hearing completely. I suffered a strange kind of hearing loss that comes with another condition called tinnitus

It happened since 2015 when i was admitted in a teaching hospital(doctors told me that my problem was typhoid) and treated for months. When i was about to discharged, i noticed that one of my ears was not functional which i complained immediately to the docs there told me that my condition was critical and was consequently administered hard drugs which is clearly the cause of my partial deafness and was given an appointment in 2weeks time to follow up about the new ailment. I came back home using only one ear.

After about 5days at home, i enter okada to the use an atm in town, upon reaching the bank, i joined the atm line to made my withdrawal, it was there that an old friend started talking to me that i discovered that both my ears were not functional.

Have you asked if a hearing aid implantation will help your situation? Explore alternative options first.

May the souls of the departed rest in perfect peace.

Just curious, why do we see topics like this as news and front page worthy?

This Op na proper definition of "Never ending story".

Miracood2:
Pic?

Thanks for bringing it to my attention. My phone is messing up at the moment. It is saying NL cannot be reached. Will keep trying.

Dinner from yesterday:

Pasta.

StreetFight:
After my genocide on the family of the husband and the family of the Olosho baby Mama, then we will talk. There is no discussion until I cause unimaginable damage to the two families l.

Do not pay evil with good, you will be encouraging the evil doers to do more evil

I no sabi this one ooo. I no get power for "an eye for an eye", abeg.

She should first talk to the husband to understand what is going on. She needs know the truth as not every text message should be relied on. Once she establishes the truth, she can decide on what to do.

As for the girl, she could take it up and ensure she goes to a juvenile home for correction since she is below 18. If she lets it slide, the girl would do worst to others and then, it would be too late to help the girl.

In all, be yourself. Do not compromise on your person to please others as it will only steal your peace. Let your spouse know who you are and be very sure s/he appreciates a family and you. That way, together, you can define what you want for your home.

As individuals, respect your families and do not cut them off. Integrate the other family as they begin to appreciate who you are.

KoladeChris24:
I red everything you posted and I can't be ashamed of you more. Africa is not an individualistic society. When you marry a wife, you marry her into your family with you the husband being the primary provider and responsible for your wife at most.

The family deserves to know whatever happened to their son. The only advise I have for the man who created this thread is to tread carefully and not to blame the wife entirely. The husband could be culpable in his own death too.

And to the men out there, any wife who tells you not to involve your family in some critical issues is giving you a huge red flag. Don't agree with a wife who wants to separate you from your family. One of the things every woman out there want is a man who won't do A because his wife tells him to do B, even if A is the right thing to do and B is clearly wrong. It's the nature of the typical woman out there. Relate with one and ask her if I'm wrong. It is left to you to sit down and think.

Oga, keep your "ashamed" to yourself. You don't need to have the same opinion as me. We all have the right to see life from our spectrum and if a chauvinistic mindset is what you believe in, live it. No one has the right to dictate to a family how to live their lives. After all, both in our religious centers and the court, what we here is that they join husband and wife, I have never heard of a time where they said they join a wife to the husband's family.

This is some good news. It is indeed worthy of news.

LastProphet:
Who told you they support them? Our court freed James Ibori when he stole, didn't British court jail him for bringing money into UK? When are Africans going to have sense? Or is it the West that said we should vote someone like Tinubu who has no clear history and doubtful background? If the same west intervenes you will be among the first to say they killed our Gaddafi. Always face your problem and stop telling outdated lies

The West has contributed to the mess. Our government buys properties with looted funds and nothing is done. The Tinubu case you are mentioning, America could have shed more light but they kept quiet. You know why, so that they could have more negotiating power when talking to him. That said, also for our militants, they produce and sell/supply the guns to them. A good example was the helicopter that landed at some point in our militant zone and a white guy came down to talk to them. Till tomorrow, no one understands what is going on in the region and how the West is able to meet with these guys and not getting hurt. There's more to the eyes than we see.

When the West supports our corrupt leaders for their gains thinking we the poor masses have been tied down by religion, at some point, some will break out of their shackles and things like this will happen.

dboY1123:
My brother was deaf! Deaf!! My mum warned him sternly against this evil woman.
First, he had a wife who gave him a boy already, but the mother of that girl didn't let her stay with my brother so he has to marry this particular one.
But before my mum passed on last year, this wife didn't like my mum at all, infact they stopped my mum from visiting them, and my brother took sides with his wife, thinking to be a strong man to his own family by distancing himself from his mother and family..
But things got worse for him, parked from a flat to a room, his school(he's a proprietor) value and numbers dropped heavily and he sold his car.. All these, he still wouldn't speak with any of his siblings, even when we called him on phone to check on him as a brother ,his wife would be the one to pick our calls or tell us he's not around..

Clearly, the wife didn't like my mum at all.. and I know my mum, she wanted the best for her son that's all and she made findings about the lady before she moved in with him., So my mum had her reasons to reject her.

We all don't like the wife, infact my dad who's a pastor (aged) doesn't like her, she couldn't even visit my Dad since the passing away of my mum since last year April.

So, If not that the wife was a bad woman.. Even if your husband is going through shits, you're the closest to him and you would have called on his family, when they took him to hospital for the blood stuff, we paid the money as siblings that was when she called.

If you make it apparent you don't like someone, you should expect the same in return. One of the reasons people advice not to meander in people's relationship because most often than not, they unite against you.

She doesn't owe you any information about their family except they agree to disclose it. Unfortunately, your brother is no more thus, there is no way to find out the truth because whatever she says now will have to be accepted as the truth.

If you people never gave a 💯 support of their marriage, it is enough for the couple to steer clear from the family. Telling you guys about the situation becomes difficult because he might have said something earlier that you guys all blamed the woman.

Lastly, is she a bad person? May be. Could she have learned to steer clear of your family because of her perception? May be. Whatever it is, the best you can do if you love your brother is to find a way to integrate her into the family for the sake of the children. Don't go creating enemies abeg. Put the entire situation to God in prayer with an open mind and He sure will guide you. Life is sweeter than carrying burdens not meant for you.

Dinner:

Yam and egg sauce.

For me, it will always be the mother no matter what.

Offpointng:
When reading always put intuition into it (no vex boss). if both of us used to be a very good friend or Gee and a guy from no where snatch me from you that I begin to avoid or limit the way I relate with you. if one day, that from no where guy one day steal my things or fraud me, You think I'll be confident enough to tell you so you can mock me?? That's the case of what happened to OP's brother. The wife detached him from the family and telling them what he's going through in the hands of the wife will only bring mock and the blame "Didn't we warn you?" thereby escalating his regrets

The Op's brother knew he bleeped up and figured it's his cross to carry which he did silently

As a married person and with my relationship with friends who are married, many would agree that when one party separates his/herself from others because of marriage, the person actually wanted to and the spouse which we think is responsible just gave the person the courage s/he needed before now. Your community/family is key and nothing can separate you except you want to be separated.

Offpointng:
When we tell Guys dont marry a woman your family ain't confidently in agreement with they'd bring up a real man this and that. Now this is one of the results, The Wife will move on in couple of weeks while the pain stays with the real family for a long time

Guys out there you really need to wake up tbh cuz I can't seem to understand how a woman would easily turn you from the Parent and Siblings you spent virtually most of ur life with

Before you start ranting and blaming a woman you have no idea what role she's played in what you read, have you asked yourself why the brother is not even telling his brother things? Is his wife with him 24/7? There's more to issues like this than you can tell.

I am trying to understand the various aspects of your post however, here are my comments:

dboY1123:
I lost my brother early last month and I have been unsettled and paranoid. He visited us a day before and he was healthy and hearty only for us to hear of his death the next day which was on Sunday.
He was admitted in the Hospital, on the bases that he was short of blood. He took 4/5 pants of blood and stayed 1/2 weeks before he was discharged and that only made him live for a month or so.
I want to know more about his death, exactly what happened. His wife is someone who didn't relate well with us(in laws) and she distanced my brother from us, while he objectively did as well. This wife didn't visit my mum throughout her stay in the hospital for more than 3 months before my mum passed on a year ago. When I visited the hospital where my brother was rushed to being the same place he was admitted, they told me that he must have been bothered about somethings, and that the drugs he was given parts were hypertensive, that he stopped taking the drugs and all those excuses.

She and her husband decided to distance themselves from the family and you are trying to push the blame on her. If your brother for the sake of whatever it was decided to agree with his wife on distancing the family, that isn't her business. That said, she not visiting your mom before she passed and your brother passing (May God rest their soul), isn't her fault in its entirety and you could have asked her why she didn't visit your mom if that mattered to you while your brother was alive.

That he was bothered about things and was suffering from HBP, what response do you want to hear from the wife on that? That he, as a man decided to neglect his medication could be an act of faith or rebellion or whatever it meant to him you needed her to come report him to you? Are you expecting the wife to take the medication for him or force him to take the medication? Do you have an idea if that was one major cause of argument in their home? Just let things be and let her mourn her husband and you too mourn your brother in peace.

dboY1123:
I was informed by the nurses that my brother has been suffering from insomnia, he hardly sleeps in nights and if he does, it's just few hours. All these things, the wife didn't tell us anything.

While it wouldn't be bad if the wife had told you, you still can't blame her for not telling you what was going on in their home. It was their home and they have every right to manage it the way they thought best of it. She owes none of you an explanation of what was going on in their home and you should respect that. Don't start looking for what is not missing thereby, disturbing your own peace.

Most importantly, if your brother did not tell you, why were you expecting a 3rd party to tell you? Can you look inwards to realize the dynamics you are trying to portray wasn't even there from the word go? Your brother couldn't tell you his challenges and here you are trying to make it look like someone else's duty? Biko, respect yourself and don't go lose the little respect his family has for you.

dboY1123:
Now, I want to take the fight to her. I need her to tell me exactly what transpired, how did it happen! She's been in 40days mandatory sit-at-home stuff and I can't wait to sit her ass down and interrogate her.
Should I get her arrested for questioning by the police?
Modified

On this last one, I guess you are about setting out to disgrace yourself. If you arrest her or interrogate her, what are you expecting to hear? Oga, face front, focus on your business, and if you want to be the good uncle you are trying to be, find ways to be involved in the life of your late brother's children with the consent of the wife. Don't create unnecessary tension that would deny you access of standing as a father figure to the best of your ability for the children. Please, be the uncle your brother would appreciate you are to his children.

Ishilove:
Are plantains grown in your country?

I am not sure but surely, they are grown in Mexico so they can always import it. Regular chain stores like Walmart rarely have them in my state however, I get mine from African store. I know Mexican stores too carry them.

Klass99:
She did, but dear daddy doesn't seem keen on building a relationship with his son, it has been an interesting journey. Are you by any chance in touch with Richy4, is he okay?

No, I am not but I hope he is doing great.

This should be discussed during courtship and an agreement that aligns with the couples view reached. If I choose to father a child, the child takes on my last name and I am likely giving the first name because I already have names for my kids.

Please, allow him contact his father. If you deny him now, whenever he has the access, he will and then, he wouldn't even tell you and things might work against you because you denied him when he sought your permission.

Lunch for the week:

Shrimp quinoa and oatmeal risotto. Here is what my lunch bowl for tomorrow looks like,

Breakfast for the week:

Sorry baked oatmeal.