₦airaland Forum

Tales by moonlight. In Jan, you were attending tutorial centre

Happy birthday dear! You are already blessed n I pray God hears your inner heart desires!

cococandy:
My DH and my bestie surprised me with a small party .
It was so sweet. And the food was delicious.
This egusi was the bomb

There's no hard n fast rule in a home where love exists. N when u get married, you might actually be surprised by how much slack you cut your wife. Just imagine a pregnant wife taking care of kids, u might be so awed by her cooking, the other stuff dont count.

CrazyMan:
There is more to marriage than who clears up the dishes. When you genuinely love someone all these irrelevant things would mean nothing. Cos there are more serious and pressing issues that needs attention in the home than dishes.

And yes most great girlfriends make terrible wives....and for the record, I'm not married.

Balanced reasoning.

uboma:
There is nothing wrong for a man to clear his own plates and even that of his wife after eating as long as it does not become a daily affair. By the way, it was the woman who spent the time to prepare the meals.

Doing this won't take away your pride.

You're right that I've never been to Benin republic but that does not detract from the fact that its really no biggie dropping your plates after eating.
Your wife is not a substitute for a maid and FYI the antidote for side chicks is raising your kids to be independent so u don't base your choice of a wife on how wifey material-ish the girl is. Las Las, as you rightly said the great girlfriends are not so great wives, maybe cos they were pretending.

CrazyMan:
Have you ever been to Benin republic, you're here saying advance country.

For your information, in the so called advanced country which I myself have been opportuned to visit their women cook and serve their husbands.

In areas where the wife is a career woman, she hires a nanny/cook and pays her from her own purse. Cos she knows it's her responsibility.

The problem with you girls is that you're much better as girlfriends than wifes. A girlfriend would wash her guys clothes, cook for him, keep him company...etc. but the moment he upgrades her to a wife it becomes a tug of war who does what and who doesn't do what.

Do you know why many men cheat on their wives it's because their side chick knows the role the wife is supposed to play and is fully aware that she's (the wife) isn't playing it. So she capitalizes on that error, illfitrates the home and wins the husband over to her side.

So please spare me the crap of advance country bullshit. If you're not ready to be a wife to a man you married, the be prepared to share him with someone who's ready to give him what you're too arrogant to offer.

Thank God you've taken the time to enlighten the dumb females that its the woman's responsibility not the maid. How come it's not the man's responsibility in advanced countries? Or are they lesser versions of the Male species? The problem with you lot Is that you're entitled and sometimes inconsiderate. You have no clue how much domestic work a housewife does.

CrazyMan:
If I may ask whats your job as a wife?

Most conflicts in marriages today arise because most of you dumb females don't even know your role as a wife. You just want a husband that's all and have nothing to offer to him aside from spreading your legs for sex and popping out babies.

When a man spends 30days struggling to earn a living in order to give you a better life, you see it as his responsibility. He leaves the home very early and ensures that enough finance is made available for the home.

Then comes back exhausted and finishes his food and you expect him to clear the plates. If you can't keep him company while he eats and prefer to play the role of a restaurant waiter then you must play it to the fullest by clearing the table when he's done. That's your own responsibility.

I like how it is ur preference either that the wife or maid does it in ur version of an ideal world. Isn't that what some guys marry for, to acquire lifetime maids?

CrazyMan:
What then is the purpose of being married when you still live like a bachelor?

The ideal thing is for him to do after eating is to abandon it there in the dining and his wife will either call the maid to clear up or do it herself.

And he's happily married as far as your concerned while cheating. Only God knows wat happily married means to Nigerians!!!

kennybabs1980:
Chuks is a great guy, a good friend of mine in my office. He's happily married as far as I'm concerned. His wife is a school teacher and they have two kids. But I noticed that a particular beautiful lady comes to check on him in the office at least once a week. I asked him about the lady last week, he said she's just a friend. When I probed further, I discovered that the lady is a single mother of two and works as a nurse. That's last week.?
Can't this strange lady cause trouble for him in his family?

N I can bet you some good dough that the 2 boys are not biologically his. Na today?

Ishilove:
My sister I suspect world people because after baby girl number 18, he went back to our hometown to do something called 'changing leg' (i forget the native translation). After 'changing leg' the next child was a boy from wife number 4. He has two boys now.

7th child in this economy. Y'all give me a break please

lifemate89:
Sorry about the typo,hope you understood what I meant to write...
"you are not the cause of you giving birth to baby girls, it's your husband.
My dear, cry not,the Lord is in control...my elder sister was in the same shoe with you,she gave birth to four baby girls...just last week,she gave birth to a baby boy...Just be prayerful okay"

..........I know of a woman that her 7th child is a male child, other ones were females.just put everything in God's hand.

using it to pass time by divulging personal info on the internet. Lets just thank God the lady he was chatting up didnt show up. Only God knows what he will have done.

LyfeJennings:
If he lives abroad, there is no cause for alarm
He might just be using it to pass time

Hello Jess, I'm asking cos u said he listed his location as Lagos not your current location. In addition, the guys here have enlightened me as to the kind of stuff that happens on 'Nigerian' tinder.

jess2019:
Why did u ask? The account was opened on January 16th so he has been here with me.

Looking down on people on top tinder. It's not that serious.

SoftChordz:
hahahaha tinder? outside country? u havent really checked out Naija online matters. Tinder is just like Facebook here in naija, felt like asking u what rock u crawled out of, you'd be surprised the type of folks on it, your boss, boyfriend or coworkers can be on it. Dont look down on anyone, we are all human.

Are there any cracks in your marriage that'll make him go this route? The aspect of being so truthful on a dating app when he can't be certain if he's being catfished or not is alarming. Doesn't really sound like he's looking for a fling. I'm just tryna pick his mind at the moment and can't say I'm succeeding. Do you think he's bored or attention starved? You just have to talk with him n let him know his ass has been busted.

jess2019:
I went through his phone last night and noticed he fixed a date with a lady but the lady didn't turn up. He chatted that most people dont like dating black men that he is black. He was actually truthful in telling her everything about him, how long he is here, his occupation. But they didn't talk about whether he has children. Do I still have to chat him up with a fake account when I already have this evidence? I also have a copy of bank statements to tinder. I dont know if I could go through this tonight again as I couldn't sleep last night and I have a baby that depends on me.

Kai, our OP go dey fear pass now.

@OP- was your husband in Nig in the recent past?

LyfeJennings:
U think
There are millions of Nigerians on Tinder
As a matter of fact Tinder us an ashawo app here in Nigeria
If U need call girls, just go to Tinder
Olosho wey dey there reach 10Billion

Observer toh bad...

ednut1:
i was once there all the babes in my areas on the island seem to have union price. 50k a night lol. Was only there to observe

Na real wa

crackkhaus:
Lol.. you never yuck finish.

You will be doubly surprised when you see some people you know around you after you register and turn on your phone's location which allows it to search for males/females within your location.

Something that was meant for casual dating by the developers, Nigerians have turned it into an exclusive hoe market for those on Gold or Plus subscription.

Waoh, all the peeps I know that are on tinder are outside the country including the Op. Most respondents on this thread also seemed unaware too. I never join o as I dont want my husband to open his own thread na

Yuck to those looking for hookups after payment. Glorified prostitution

crackkhaus:
Did you join before coming to this conclusion?
You must be joking.

There's an entire community of Nigerian users on Tinder, and at least 50% of the women on it state it clearly on their profiles that they're looking for hookups (with payment of course).

What other evidence do you need apart from the confirmation of payment of 6 month gold subscription? Don't confront him in an aggressive manner tho. I've been there 3 months post partum n soooooo freaking sleep deprived and quite easily aggravated.

Girl, don't wait for him to act on his tinder membership. Ask him what he's doing on tinder n tell him even if he claims its mere flirtation, that it is unacceptable to you. Hes wasting family resources too n hope you've heard, na from clap dem dey take enter dance. In other words, nip all manner of crap in the bud.

Do you live in Nig. I'm curious cos it's rare for Nigerians to be on tinder. Guess we are evolving daily ni

Ok dear. We haff hear

Ifyjos:
Who ask for your opinion? Go and preach it your sisters and nieces not me

There's nothing normal bout being beaten by a soul mate. N make up sex is not so fantastic if you are hospitalized.

Ifyjos:
Don’t pity them because they are better than you in fact pity your useless life how you will die single without a child to help you at your old age you will suffer and nobody will pity you and if what you are waiting for to hear bad news that my guy my soulmate has dumped me you will wait for eternity for that to happen because it will never happen like as said I will not tell him anything because I don’t owe him any explanations and we will be staying like that you are nothing but a joy killer and your plan won’t succeed at all. And if he ever start beating me I will enjoy it so much because beating it’s a part of love and most husbands does it to their wives and what come after the beating the make up sex after the beating is just so sweet and I won’t be the first to be beaten by my soulmate and neither I will be the last so for me I will
Enjoy it so much

OK, wateva works for you, Mr. Educator

Centrallock:
I wish i had the strength to leave you with a reply that can educate you but then since you're not the subject to this thread I'll pass. Try harder next time. Bye!

Yen yen yen. Keep supporting thrash! Every man has his weakness and should endeavour on eradicating such before encumbering another person's daughter or what am I missing. Y'all lay so much emphasis on grooming women to be wife's materials but who is grooming you guys to do better. See what a head of a home sent a wife that's battling health issues in her child, whilst he's away.

Centrallock:
Ijeoma1187 you must be the nagging type, posting those WhatsApp chats and all is for what exactly? To be pitted i guess, from who? Online user's, nairalandlers? That's pathetic and mind you no marriage is made in heaven, every man has his weaknesses, some cant abuse you but will ridicule you emotionally, some won't ridicule you but cheat on you massively infant no need typing much. But leaving your home will not make you any good based on this issue, secondary am suprised at the type of family you have. How can you father and parents expect you and ask you to come home especially your dad without giving this young man any opportunity to correct his bullshit. Your husband is an emotional idiot who is controlled by his emotions and not his senses, is your dad a saint? Are your brothers saint?, every man has once in a while stepped out of place. Now the only thing i can tell you is if you cant for the sake of your child make peace in your home as the neck of the family then you clearly should not have been in marriage in the first place. And if you eventually pack out your husband will freely adapt to the society not you regardless of what your parents says and brothers they will not be there for your at all time, and once you start giving them responsibilities expect them to complain. Let your brothers allow you to face your challenges at home.
I wish i cant qoute that your immature husband who has given away his power and masculinity for the sake of emotions and insecurities that nigga needs to sound slap.
But i will still write this here so you can see incase you somehow gets to have a glance at this,
Men dont argue with a woman, in arguments women are always 100 and 1% right. Secondary when in marriage any money you give to your woman count it as a loss in other words if you have 400k to give start by giving it bit by bit cause surely demands must come, even you as a man spends more than budgeted sometimes not to talk of women, and for the sake of christ stop abusing your wife nigga, what will abusing her add to you? Do you think you can have abusive words more than her if she decides to engage you on one? Why on earth will you tell you friends shit about your wife can you defend her in the cause of insults from them? Friends are not your family dude, and how ever you wish to handle your marriage always remember misunderstand is guaranteed how you handle it is what makes you a man and earns you respect not your rants and abuses. Know the difference between pride and taking responsibilities. As a man you must know that your wife should be your priority because a happy wife is a happy home. Anything else friends her brothers and father is all distraction focus on your wife.

Very weird people.

frugal:
What a primitive & sexist thing to say. I dey shame for you.

This is scary! You are not an idiot. It's possible he has another family 'in the abroad'.

Ijeoma1187:
This is what I get anytime money comes up

Laslas the 4th child is also a girl. Anyway, u got an iPhone 7 and lots of promises.

I like their jollof rice n light soup.

eyinjuege:
I'm beginning to find Ghanaian meals fascinating even though I used to think they didnt look nice in the past. I have been following some Ghanaian food pages on instagram for sometime now, and my orientation seems to have changed
Now, I'm craving it so bad despite the fact I've never tasted any before.
My husband thinks I'm crazy and I shouldn't even try cooking it. He's also warned me about going to do longer throat in any of our Ghanaian friends' homes.
Infact, the thought of going to Ghana on holiday (when I have the opportunity) to eat their cuisines has actually crossed my mind.
I feel so weird and even weirder sharing this

.

The message u sent is not something to worry about but her response abi her reaction na the one wey dey worry you. Dont worry you never start to see reaction, u hear.

Newton's third law is: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Your wife is really nice. She blocked u to keep herself from saying stuff she'll regret. U definitely can do better by being open minded n free from biases.

Ok, I respect your opinion.

DexterousOne:
Well

It's fine by you

But if i had a wife who thinks like this

That marriage will be shaky.

Anyways I don't blame you

Many African women were not raised to love it have a proper relationship with their husband's

It's all about getting "legal kids" and not "Bastards" and the man working to raise them on behalf of the woman

So I am not surprised really

Not joking. Both should enjoy my good qualities, assuming I have any but I'm definitely more obliged to my kids. they are dependent on me and my actions affect them

DexterousOne:
The bolded is serious

I want to believe you are joking