₦airaland Forum

Your bro is most likely on drugs. You guys should not leave the decision making to his siblings. He needs medical attention urgently n God bless your elder sister...she's a rare gem.

Ope88:
UPDATE ON THE ISSUE..
I Called my aunt who my dad had abandoned for years, she responded fast to the calls and made way to where he was crying and wailing, her grandchild picked them in the car and they drove to her place.
My sister and Dad are presently at his younger sister's place somewhere in Lagos, So tomorrow, the rest siblings will be present to take a final decision on the matter...
Prior to this, my sister who had not set her eyes on my brother since he beat her said today he was also at the scene ( mum asked him to come pick dad up but wasn't released to him), was rolling on the floor and in tears crying, apologizing for all that he had done, she said she was stunned, because this same boy kept malice with my younger sister who is her immediate for a period of 8 months, they started talking when we marked our dad's 70years birthday, and he was even begged to talk to her...
My elder sister said he's forgiven her but I'll not say a word on the matter..

And for those who said I should be with them, I sincerely would have been with dem but for the lockdown, interstate movement isn't allowed..

Goodnight everyone.

Sleep well and continue to stay safe.

Ok o...

irunoko:
anything that enters nairaland, Nigeria's largest forum is no longer a private buisness but everyone's buisness so e concern me

E concern you...

irunoko:
This one will soon born all the eggs in her body

African number 1 baby machine

I never see any celebrity wey dey get belle every year like this one

@ Op - Pardon my saying this but Your mum's issues were not caused by the church cos if they were She'd get along with people in the church. She may have experienced something in her past that made her that way but if she was aligned with the church, how come she had issues with church people? Tradition and extreme religion are oftentimes people's excuses to behave badly and blame it on some force beyond them.

For instance, Okonkwo in Things Fall Apart was warned by Traditional Elders - that boy calls you father, do not have a hand in his death. Next thing, he still killed Ikemefuna, Was that the fault of tradition or the fault of Okonkwo's fear of being a failure as a man that propelled him to kill a boy he bonded with more than his son?

Thank God. So relieved on your behalf. .. So, what are you guys gonna do to prevent a reoccurrence?

Ope88:
Beautiful people, he has been found.... Badly beaten and bruised....from what my mum told me.... I'll get back to u all on this.

May her gentle soul rest in perfect peace.

Some of the stories you read online are fictional, possibly to create traffic. Some people are genuinely happy in their marriages, not without sacrifices. Dare I say, u have it in you to make your marriage work.

Mariangeles:
With most of y'all's issues, it is not something to be excited about is it?
Going through family section on nairaland alone is exhausting
I might have to think it through because frankly, it is hardly a thing to look forward to.

Here here to you guys!

Dont hate her and cant be bothered to go back and forth with her but its worrisome how she believes her opinions are facts. She also mostly doesn't take into cognizance that there's no one answer to the different curves life often takes.

Yeah, assuming it's true that marriage is the ultimate goal, are women supposed to wait indefinitely for marriage not working, just because Marriage must come first. What of Pastor Kumuyi's current wife who didn't get married till her 50s. She definitely wasn't sleeping around but possibly didn't have a suitor. Wat was she supposed to do till she got to 50? Not work while waiting on a marriage or purpose? Having a career gives u a sense of fulfillment and achievement and I have kids whom I love dearly.

I will encourage women to have a job before marriage cos it gives you independence, helps with your choice making on a spouse - poverty sort of makes you susceptible to tolerating crap you wouldn't naturally, gives u some respect like men generally see women that depend on them for every kobo as nuisances amongst others. I definitely will not consider marrying a man with no job. Money palaver in itself is one of the 3 leading causes of divorce.

My personal opinion is that if you get married without a means of livelihood, by all means try to get one. People change, life happens so have a back up option even if your spouse is generous.

Acidosis:
So how would people know what works for them without people like OP?

To say marriage is not for everyone while still spending most of your time on family section, for me, is cra.zy. If marriage is not for everyone, then the so called everyone shouldn't be here in the first place. It's like saying WEALTH is not for everyone on an investment thread. That's a stup!d idea.

Some of you are just bitter, it's very obvious seeing how you folks descended on the personality behind the post. You people have called her old school and all sorts without even realizing the fact that no sane man wants to spend his life with a problematic modern and overly exposed man-woman. There's something about her you lots hate so bitterly.

My take Is that he's a gold digger n is only bidding his time. Once he has you under his control, watch everything change. You saw that chat for a reason

Yum

Hathor5:
The couscous was so good yesterday, I made some again today. This time with oven baked salmon and salad on the side.

How can you tell from the pics or is it mere speculation

malikah09:
He married his work colleague. .

Since we are telling ourselves the truth, hope you know that so many men have 'fathered' so many kids that are not biologically theirs while trying to avoid feeling inferior.

obiekunie2:
if we will tell ourselves the truth, we all know its not easy to have three baby girls at home - especially for an African man.

it weakens a man's ego. It makes him feel inferior among his fellow men.

you should av done your best to keep it at two instead of giving him 3 girls.


just hope it doesn't push him to go look for a baby boy outside.

hope for the best sha! pray he gets over it.

Waoh....just waoh

Sepsis:
I don’t care if anybody snatches anyone. If it happens, it’s all for the best. I’m in the best shape of my life and all it takes to find a replacement is a decision.

If she was picky about her eating during pregnancy, I think you should cut her some slack cos there is evidence she tried.

I was truly overwhelmed by the whole after birth experience - the lack of sleep, exclusively breastfeeding amongst others. For some, it could be postpartum depression. I couldn't even understand why I was always hungry n adding weight when breastfeeding when others claim they lose weight when breastfeeding.

Cheating is the easiest response to an issue like this but I bet you the repercussions are unwelcome. Kindly work with her to adopt a weight reduction strategy - intermittent fasting, going to the gym, meal planning or whatever works for her.

You will be fine.

Sepsis:
She did. As a matter of fact she did so well to maintain her weight during pregnancy through controlled calorie intake. I was the one who was admonishing her to eat but she was the picky eater because she didn’t want to blow up.

Well it worked. We had a healthy baby. She was fine after delivery. Now it’s like she doesn’t care anymore. Like she can’t be bothered because the husband is going no where and she has a beautiful baby. It appears she’s content and nothing else is important.

I’m tired.



I agree wholeheartedly with this. Habits are key. The cause of this blowing up is the stress eating of junk earlier on but now the damage has been done. It reeks of indiscipline to eat carelessly and thinking about it just makes me mad. Now the determination to lose the weight is out of the window and I’m stuck with a curse.

We never thought we could

Cbn only regulates banks

Peterobi90:
But CBN said no company should lay off without its approval...

Pele

Christmasdon:
.NEXT TIME! DO NOT SAY WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW..YOU ARE DAFT SIMPLE. I WOULDN'T HAVE ASKED YOU OF NOUN IF YOU HAD NOT MENTIONED IT. MENTIONING NOUN TELLS ME YOU KNOW THE ENDPOINT OF NOUN. AM SORRY ! NEXT TIME DON'T SAY THINGS THAT IS WAY BEYOND YOU.

I'm neither daft nor the cause of your problems. Get a grip on your emotions...you definitely can pass your points across better when you are calm. Don't drink and write next time n keep your silly warnings to yourself.

Christmasdon:
. HOW CAN U BE SO DAFT LIKE THIS. ? SIMPLE QUESTION, ARE U A GRADUATE OF NOUN. ?YES OR NO. YOU SEE WHY I HATE GIRLS WAY OF LIFE. HOW COME U KNOW TOO MUCH WELL OF NOUN. ANYWAYS, I DONT MEAN TO INSULT YOU. LET ME ADVICE, LATER AHEAD DID YOUR HUSBAND ASKS U A QUESTION .PLEASE MY DEAR. NEVER U SAY I DON'T KNOW O. I HAVE WANRNED YOU.

My brother, I don't know. Do you have contacts of anyone like a course mate or an admin staff? They might be able to help.

Christmasdon:
. ARE U A GRADUATE OF NOUN? ANYWAYS HOW CAN I DO MY TMA1 GST COURSES I OPENED THE NEW SITES OF DOING GST TMA ALL I SEE I DASHBOARD AND I COULDN'T SEE MY COURSE. HOW DO I DO IT, DO YOU HAVE A CLUE?

I see... Maybe you should consider a direct entry to the National Open University or a part time program if they have the NUC accreditations. It's crazy out there in the labor market so I'm wondering if you have any options.

Lekan239:
I already have my OND in mechanical engineering, and I'm currently in HND1 but there's no clue on how I could get enough money to pay the remaining bills before exam. Sometimes I still thank God for bringing this corona virus at the right time, if not for the virus exam would have began and I would officially have been a dropout again. Either way I'm always looking forward to what life throws at me. And I'm already planning of the way forward if I eventually dropout. But all I know is that either now or later I will surely complete my education

Sorry about all the negative experiences. I think it should serve as a lesson for you in future on how not to treat your spouse.

I truly don't think you should drop out or you can consider the National Open University route. You can be a lesson teacher, a labourer or a driver. Don't give up!

Lekan239:
thanks very much. I'm doing everything in my power and waiting patiently for this lockdown of a thing to be over. My days in school are numbered that I surely know off all I'm just thinking about is getting a petty job which I could engage in after I withdraw. As for my dad, I will follow your advice

I agree that the US appears way more lucrative than the UK for medical professionals.

Liftmaster:
Benjamin Franklin famously said that house guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days. I am absolutely inclined to agree with him.
OP, perish the idea of you and your wife staying with your brother in the U.K. especially since your brothers wife and your wife already do not get along. Your wife has told you in not so many words that she is uncomfortable about doing so. Let sleeping dogs lie and find another solution. Your initial years as a young doc in the U.K. will be stressful enough talk less of adding home wahala. You can't leave your wife alone all day long in a "hostile environment" and expect things to work out fine. You will not like what this seemingly small issue can potentially become. Many people have said for you to go and get established first then she can join you. Have this discussion with your wife and let her know you understand her apprehension for staying at your brothers house and that this is an alternative. Does she know you are dissatisfied and/or frustrated with your current situation? Tell her and explain to her why you want to relocate.
It seems you haven't been married for long and could benefit from some marriage conflict resolution counseling. One piece of advice I can give you is to learn to pick your battles. Your wife and your brothers wife do not get along right now. Don't push to resolve the issues immediately. Time and distance combined could be a healer. Give it sometime and revisit at a more opprtuned time. Trying to deal with it at the same time as convincing her to relocate is not a good idea.
Have you considered moving to the U.S.? If making money is your ultimate goal, there is no better place to be for a physician.

Do you have to write the Plab exams? U can travel n write n come back to Nig till u complete the exams. Then u can start searching for a job n come up with a plan with your wife's input.

Ignore some people sometimes. E dey pain dem scatter

SeverusSnape:
So Rivers is now Biafra?

But when the real argument starts now, you will say Rivers is not part of Biafra.

Oyo state that returned their own is also a Biafran state. mtcheeewww...

You're definitely disturbed...

Braintrain:
Good riddance

Yesss

Social Distancing at its best!!!

@Tiarababy - Please get that kid to the hospital, so she doesn't get scarred. Do you work or have any biz u do. If not, learn tailoring, hair dressing, wateva learn something n take ur baby everywhere with you. Back her if necessary.

After seven kids! She's under no obligation to birth babies for anyone!! Do you have any idea of the wear and tear on her body, already? Surrogates are usually paid, will she be paid?

I know you are coming from a good place but still nah!

MariaAngeles:
I don't know how this suggestion may seem, but how about you suggesting they leave your baby for you, after you have weaned her and rested, you can carry another pregnancy for them, this time around, everyone will have it in mind from the beginning that the baby will be theirs...like a surrogate, but your husband will be the one to get you pregnant
How about that? To let peace reign and bring joy to a couple

Don't know you but I loooove your point of view!

Truthbites:
Lessons For African Rulers!

1. The British Prime Minister, Boris Johnson contracted the novel coronavirus in the line of duty. #Leadership

2. Even at that, he continued to discharge his duty from his self-isolation centre. #Commitment

3. When his situation became worse and he couldn't carry on any longer, the British Foreign Secretary (Dominic Raab) stepped in for him. #Structure

4. He was not taken abroad for treatment. #System

5. He is being treated at St Thomas Hospital right there in London. #Patriotism.

6. The hospital is a public hospital where anyone can walk in and be treated. #Equality.

7. The media has been giving the world constant update about his health. #Trasnperency!

8. The opposition party is also wishing him well because he has shown great leadership. #CountryFirst

9. When he was moved to the intensive care unit of the hospital, it wasn't shrouded in secrecy. #Accountability.

In conclusion: Leadership is not about the leader. It is about the people. Until Africans understand this, they will continue to rule (and be ruled) rather than lead (and be led).