larryjonze: Well i don't expect you to understand, if the female president in greece, moldova, tanzania could not do it any better i wonder why any man in his right mind would think of all race naija women will do better. reference is key when unraveling politics. when you fail as a head he sensible thing to do is get up & restrategize ... not giveup If you're so obsessed with female leadership why not start from ur home, be a pioneer of what you preach
In two of those countries the office of the president is purely ceremonial.
Try to take care of your kids so that your wife doesn't have to beg online or offline instead of wasting time typing rubbish.
descarado: All I'm saying is what is our women doing to rise above this subjugation from men? Women from other countries suffered more than us but we all look up to them and admire their system forgetting they fought their men to reach where they are today. Remember religion came from them. This is my argument only. We can keep on blaming the men. Women in the West took the bull by the horn, what's stopping us?
The other day, I read a west African country where a woman was ordained Anglican priest. U need to see pages of insults hauled on her. Should we stop trying simply because our men are fighting us every step? That's why I said we are very lax and will settle for crumbs from the men. An average naija babe want gift from her boyfriend and is ready to flaunt it. That's selling her freedom. This continues as a married woman. A woman will rather sell akara and stay with the kids at home than insisting on getting high end job and then share house work with the husband. It's seen as unafrican for many men to work. Who said so. Western men don't enter the kitchen before. Chinese, Korean name them, they don't go near the kitchen, how come they can easily do that now? Why won't our men continue to dictate whatever happens to your life and society when we give them all the opportunities and armoury to use?
We are not ready yet. And we will never be ready.
You and cococandy live in the West, you know the diff. Their women fought and that started from the family. How we raise our kids, how far we can go for independence etc. When we get it right( like 40%), the society will hear our voice.
Yes but until then let the wanna be alpha leaders take responsibility for the wonderful zoo they have created.
Michelle55: Lol... Women are so complicated aswear, sometimes, they don't even know what they want. It takes a really patient and understanding man to marry a woman. This minute they are all over you, the next minute they are like "I just want to be left alone" when you decide to let them be kwanu, they will be like " so you're not going to ask me what's wrong with me?" and when you eventually summon the courage to ask, the next thing you would hear is " it's fine, don't worry anymore" wahala be like wetin again?
Like I said earlier, women are like children who needs constant validation and care from their men to make them feel special and same applies to men, as a woman give the same measure of care, love and RESPECT to your man and the equation would be balanced. Everyone needs somebody to inspire and love them at their worst time in life including men, so it's 50/50 agreement to make each other happy.
Just find someone who can deal with your madness albeit how little it might look to you and you both would do just fine.. Marriage is never a battlefield!!
Nothing more beautiful than a couple who deeply care about each other.
cococandy: In my earlier post, I addressed one of the OP’s point which is that men should take responsibility for the society they have created. I think that part of the OP is spot on (I don’t necessarily agree with everything he said). But yes men are responsible for how we as a society are today because they have been leading.
The rest of it is what normally follows when the thread evolves to include more talking points. Also I don’t agree with all descerado’s points. The issues we have as women who are affected by men’s poor leadership is certainly not easily solved by women being more independent.
descarado: I have read a publication on this. Women are compelled to work in naija. This doesn't mean all women anyway. If giving a choice, majority will love to stay at home.
A well known fact. Money is a determinant here. Whoever controls the money controls every other thing. Why is it that from the moment we are of age, we see men as milking machine? Boyfriend, husband, even guys on friend zone.
What I'm trying yo say is when we srt being independent, we will have some power be it house or society. For now, it's just few. And those that are not to such level will pull you down if you want to fight for them. We are our problem. Other societies have evolved.
I agree with many points you have raised here but a few.
However, you and Coco are missing the point in this discussion.
For now men are leaders and as such they should take responsibility for the state of the country.
Could more women be leaders? Sure. Should women fight for a more egalitarian society. Most certainly.
But as long as men are the heads/captains/leaders they have to learn to take responsibility and should be held accountable.
If we go by your line of argument Buhari should be justified to refuse to take any responsibility because other parties have not won the election.
Dailyparrot: The truth is, out of ten children, the probability of having bad ones is higher. In fact, it is even worse that sometimes, one of those children will be dysfunctional (slowpoke) human being.
Having gone through the topics of the poster, I cannot but agree with him in many things.
If you ever come from a large family, you will understand better.
I come from a family of ten with me being the last child. My mother died living alone in the village. My sisters' children were up to 12 years then but none agreed to take their child(ren) to the village to go and stay with my mother.
My brother is so rich that he pays 6 months electricity bill for everyone in our community while giving my mother just 15k for Christmas.
When my mother fell ill, he took her to one local hospital in our village and dumped her there while drinking and merrying at home with friends.
My sister asked him for 17k to buy a drug that my mother needed and he grudgingly brought it out while saying that that was the last money on him.
Well, I will tell you that my mother died out of anger and frustration. My brother spent over 2 million during my mother's burial. The burial brochure and funeral oration omitted the hospital that she died in because it's such a shame to write.
I tried as much as I can but sadly I only just graduated from the university and yet to serve before she died.
I have said this and I will continue to say it to anyone that cares to listen, CHILDREN ARE NOT INVESTMENT.
Live life with yourself as a priority. Wife, husband, children, will all think of themselves first before you.
It's because African parents see children as investment that make them experience what OP's mother experienced: disappointed, betrayal, despair, hopelessness at old age.
Your children will first think of their comfort, their spouse, children and in laws before considering the parents that raised them.
Many complain of their parents being a burden, that they have lived their own life and should allow them to live theirs. Some will secretly be wishing the parents to die so they will abdicate themselves of the responsibility of taking care of them.
When my mom died, all my siblings were saying is that, it's her time, it's God's wish, she knows she will die, etc. All these to justify the fact that she wasn't cared for as she should and I am confident that my mother would still be alive today if she was given the care that she needed.
This is one of the major reasons for low life expectancy in Africa.
Someone up there mentioned old people's home. That is non existent in Africa thus parents stay locked up in their room alone feeling dejected and abandoned.
I will definitely have children but not more than 3 and I will not lay my life down for them like my mother did only to be met with disappointment.
Funnily, when you are training those children, you will hear them making promises of how they will reward and take care of you once they start earning, but immediately they get employed, they will realize they need a girlfriend, a wife, a car, etc.
The tiniest fraction of their income is what they give to the parents once in a while. Maybe during festive periods.
It's sad
First, I am sorry your mom felt the way she did. May her soul rest in peace.
Second, I don't see children as investment. And they cost a lot of money too.
BUT
My great-grandparents had many children. When my great-grandmother was dying she was surrounded by all her children and many of her great-grandchildren.
My grandfather had only a few children so fewer children and grandchildren were there to take care of him. Even though he was very well taken care of, I was wishing we would be more to share the burden of caring for him because it was really hard and the financial aspect was the least of our problems.
Klass99: Lol , oh so you've noticed too? I always jump and pass Lostchild's threads, but this thread/topic was too interesting to ignore due to intellignet contributions from others. The guy matter dey taya me I swear, so much negativity towards women like kilode? Na only you waka come?
It's women but also his own siblings. All of them bad. He is the only good one. The other day all of his friends were wicked. He should call him himself angelchild. Angelchild in a cruel cruel world.
Lostchild: 1. My own mother gave birth to 10 children and has many grand children. She spent all her life and all her money raising grand children. She is the type that will rather spend her money on the well being of her grand children than to invest it on my education. I remember anytime I went to her to give me money for school, she will tell me that she has spent all her money on the sickness of my nephews and nieces. She spent all her life savings in raising and helping her grand kids. In her old age is when she began to understand the true nature of humans. Many times she tells me that if she had known, she would have invest and spend all her money on me because she realize that in all her children, I am the only one that truly deeply cares about her well being. She remove her eyes from the rest of her children and started looking unto me even though I struggle more than them. The son she never gave anything, was now the one that truly deeply cares about her
Out of 10 siblings you are the only good one.
Like in all of your threads everyone is bad but you are good. The angel in a wicked world.
Klass99: Truthfully, I didn't feel the article at all or not as much as some simple statements by Alison Green which taught me a lot about respect and how to earn it for myself.
All she said was;
1. Pay attention to the people you respect and the ones you don't respect, and try to figure out why.
This is gold.
Her advice was in the context of the workplace, interestingly I took her advice and realized the coworkers I respected then, at the time of reading her comment were; a, Diligent in their work b, Focused on their work, minded their business and didn't jump around sharing in or spreading gossip and... c, They showed up on time
Yes, yes, yes!
The ones I didn't respect were; a, Very lackadaisical towards their work b, Always caught up in the middle of the office gossip/drama c, Hardly ever on time to work and.... d, Full of excuses as to why a task wasn't done yet or couldn't be done.
Never taking responsibility like 98% of all Nigerian men.
I quickly learnt to do the things I saw the people I respected do and to avoid doing the things the ones I didn't respect did - I hope that wasn't confusing, English can be hard
I think the write up is especially good for people who really act like jerks as a result of being too timid and insecure. Those who go from not being able to look you in the eye to be forming alpha male.
2. Secondly, she said have some boundaries, meddling sucks in any area of life.
I took that and ran with it as well, so I don't live my life trying to get all up in other people's business or prying into their affairs with thoughtless or insensitive questions like, so, when are you planning on having your 2nd child. You weren't at work on Monday what happened?
Alison with her short, sweet and simple statements taught me more, than this author with 12 bullet points. It's one of the reasons I like the adages, 1. Less is more 2. The fewer the better and... 3. KISS - Keep it short and simple
It's not a bad article at all, I just wasn't feeling it.
Crime › Re: Friends Of Jennifer Ugadu Mourn Her, After She Was Raped To Death (Photos) by Hathor5(f): 9:05pm On Jul 13, 2021
