₦airaland Forum

Afodot0022:
It was an emotional cheating that have not lead to anything sexual and this was the first time she did such a thing and her reason was that i pushed her to do such cos i wasnt given her enough thing which made her to seek attention elsewhere. Though she was still wrong but she acknowledge her wrong and i gave her a second chance

I had to go through your previous threads here on your marriage. Based on that I want to give you sincere advise.

I commend your determination not to have your children grow up in a broken home. I also commend you for admitting that you both have not been perfect.

Now I can see that all these resolutions and determination to work on this marriage is coming mainly from only you. It appears your wife doesn't share similar determination with you.

That's a big problem right there. You need to get her to that level that she will equally value your marriage and effect of broken homes on children.

I believe until both of you share similar determination and resolutions on working on your marriage and home, you cannot save what is left in there.

Talk to your wife. Let her know you don't want your home to be broken, your children facing consequences of a broken home, you also don't want it to turn to a curse of broken homes from her mother side. Her mother had a broken home, she is about to have one and she has 2 daughters that can continue the tradition if this home is broken.

If you are able to get her on same page with you, I believe you can work on all these emotional cheating, work, accommodation, loan, issues. You both will be willing to make sacrifices for your home.

CorrectBizWoman:
Please who else is been sex starved at home. I can count how many times we've had sex since dis year. Always money money money all the time which is beginning to bother a lot more on greed. We're very comfortable. Solid investments, own the house we live in.

He don't cheat at least none that I know of and he's very free with his phone.

I'm tired of living this way... Any help guys? He's the last person you can seduce. It just don't work with him.

To think it's this same man loves sex like crazy even after our kids before this money talks, makes me wonder how people change so fast

I think what's happening is this.

1. The age difference is playing out here. You are 27 and he is 39. You as a woman are at the peak of your sexual life, and he is passing his peak. At 39, almost 40, his testosterone is beginning to drop.

2. He also has more responsibilities and things to worry about as a productive man at this stage. You mentioned he is doing well financially with investment here and there. He has things to think about alot in this stage of his life combined with the beginning of his testosterone decline. Stress increases cortisol hormones. Cortisol hormones further reduces testosterone hormones

My advise is thus

1. You need to talk to him about my number 2 above. Let him know worries about things are bad for his overall health condition. It can lead to many health complications. Let him know his health is very important to you and his children.

2. About testosterone level, you and him should research into how to boost testosterone naturally. At age 39 going 40, he needs to maintain certain living conditions to maintain his testosterone level.

3. Talk to him about your sexual desire. Let him know how you feel starved but be careful not to rub it against his ego. Praise his sexual prowess and how he used to handle you in the past and tell him you crave for it still now.

4. Penetration is not only way he can ease your sexual tension. Suggest finger job and other ones you like to him. Even if his service tool is not willing, his hand, mouth and tongue can do many many things to help you ease sexual tensions.

ahnie:
Since you do not value what you have...can we pls switch places?

Don't worry sis. Your husband will get to that stage one day.

You want men to become malnourished with this ooo.

Not only rice with no salt. Na only water with no salt.

Can you rest please ?

A couple days ago, you were asking about your chances with a lady you are considering going to meet in Canada.

Today, you are everywhere here spamming and lamenting why Nigeria is better than U.S., Canada etc.

We have heard you. Stay in Nigeria and leave other people that want to travel alone.

It's a personal race. No one is forcing you to travel.

This your rants here is becoming a nuisance.

bivoprad:
Hello everyone, pls any idea on how long it is taking to schedule interview for Eb3 category at the embassy after being documentary qualified?

All immigrant visas appointment of similar country where interviews will take place are put into same pool after DQ. In this case, all IR, CR, F, EB visas appointment follow same pool. Just that F and EB visas appointments will not be scheduled from that pool unless priority date is current for F and EB categories.

In your own case of EB3, your priority date is current. The only thing that will delay your interview from being scheduled is how back logged Lagos embassy is at the moment.

From my findings, Lagos immigrant section is very backlogged at the moment. The current wait time for interview in Lagos for immigrants visas is 12 to 15 months wait time.

You can also email NVC to make an enquiry to confirm this wait time for Lagos

All the best !

sihamey:
@bolded do you still look like same as when you are 10 years old ?? Embassy always request a passport photo not less than 6 months e get why .

I didn’t ask her to lie but she will not start telling embassy her story until they ask for it.

You never jam U.S. VO before.

They have her photo when her aunt took her to embassy at 10 year old. She uses American technology every day. Her family members do same.

I repeat again to the poster, they have all your information including the ones you cannot think of.

Just tell them the whole truth. Establish home links more than to the U.S. in your F1 visa application.

Don't go and do things that will earn you a lifetime ban to the U.S.

Starships4u:
May yhur wife not be cheating and yhur nephew refuse to tell yhu brother....

Yhu'd be more pissed learning he/she had the idea and didn't let yhu know....

Na woman she be. That's why she not being objective in this matter.

Why is this forum so polarized between men and women ?

See women shouting she should mind her business.

If it's the other way round, they will be shouting the cheating man can bring STDs and death home.

sihamey:
If you did biometric then that’s where your record will be pulled out during your current interview but if not no worries two persons can answer same name but no two persons can have same fingerprints

Maybe two people with same name will also look alike.

OP, just don't lie to US embassy. You will be surprised what they can dig out about you and your life.

Yes. They don't take finger prints of children. But don't think you can hide your identity if you have been there before.

All pretence will end from both parties. You will see each other in 3D.

You will be offended and re-offended. Your tolerance and forgiveness will be tested over and over again.

No marriage is perfect as no one is perfect.

If you marry for the wrong reason or married a wrong person, or if marriage is not for your type of person,
the marriage will be terrible.

If marriage is meant for you, you marry the right person for the right reasons, you have the compatibility, both of you truly love each other, finance is adequate for both of you, you will enjoy the marriage.

Your names and records are still in the US system. Even if it was hundred years ago.

The only thing they don't have about you is your finger print because they don't take finger prints of 10 years old.

Not all big girls you see are adults. Ask for age before you continue.

Not all people dressed like a woman are truly women. Some Trans will look more beautiful than real women. Ask about gender at birth before you continue.

This is for my guys.

Onolulu:
My friend (32) is a single father of one in Nigeria with somewhat okay career in Nigeria. Few months ago, he hinted me about a lady he has been talking to who resides in Canada, but she is a Nigerian but now has Canadian citizen. They met online and the conversation has been decent and fruitful. The lady in question is single and she is 38yrs. According to what he told me, the lady has been in search of a partner to no avail. My friend is a goodlooking man, with excellent gift of the gab, the type that will make a woman drool. I wasnt in the know of how their communication shifted to dating, but it looks like the lady has interest in dating my friend. Their agreement was for her to come to Nigeria while they make arrangement toward getting married and all of that. And after some times, she will arrange for him to come to meet her in Canada.

This looks good on paper. But I have fear for my friend. We all know how Nigerian women are. If this woman has option of men in Canada, there is no way she will show interest in my friend. Ordinarily, Nigerian woman who secure job in Access bank will think of herself worthy of no man except gods because she is now independent and can take care of herself, not to talk of the one in Canada that will think herself undeserving of a man in a 3rd world country. Yeah, I have most of them as friends and this is usually their line of reasoning. Women dont date for love, they date the ones that are perceived better in look, finance and worth than them. Seems the inability to find a commited partner in Canada pushed the said lady to start making such decision. What if this man relocate and she pull the guilt card on him? Letting him realized how she brings him to canada

You have little to lose if you know marital laws in Canada. She has more to lose if she has tangible worth in Canada.

Just go and study divorce marital property division, spousal support and child support system in Canada.

Information is power, give yourself the power.

AquaPetals:
Her husband pays for all bills...feeding, school fees, rent, electricity, etc. He even assists her in sending money to her mom.
I don't know if her anger stems from the fact that he occasionally borrows money from her or he doesn't tell her what he does with money

I know she is an over entitled non contributing woman

She is tired of the marriage as I said before.

Naijapolitics03:
It was our collective agreement. She had a miscarriage one time while she's here, and we agreed she stayed home. I was more concerned about having a baby while she's here but she was having none of that

Now I can see that you are seriously looking for advise.

My advise is this

1. Look for people in Naija that can help you put surveillance on her movements before December.

2. Based on the reports from the surveillance, if you need to confirm their reports, tell her you are coming home say 3rd of January but arrive in Nigeria earlier in December. Make sure you keep it away from everyone that can hint her.

3. When you arrive in December, mount your own surveillance on her based on the reports you get from 1. She will loosely be catching fun throughout Christmas and New Year

4. Get your evidence if any in December and by January 3rd, show up at home for her to see you.

Seunn11:
Good morning everyone.
Please I need more clarity.
Do we need to write the ' Proposed Endeavor ' ?
What is the format? Is it a form to fill??

Proposed endeavor is just your field of expertise where you claim to have exceptional abilities or advanced degree.

1. The person’s proposed endeavor has both substantial merit and national importance;

This means your field of expertise meets the requirements of 2A - Advanced Degree or 2B - Exceptional abilities. And it's of national importance. E.g. an oil and gas engineer is of national importance because of the national needs of energy. A medical surgeon is of national importance because of health of the people. Etc.

2. The person is well positioned to advance the proposed endeavor;

You are still able to continue to practice in your field of expertise. If you are close to retirement, or no longer good in your field, you will not make this.

3. On balance, it would be beneficial to the United States to waive the job offer and thus the permanent labor certification requirement.

It's beneficial for the US to have people of your expertise now and in future. If your expertise is already obsolete, no need to have you.

Western propaganda.

Blessedmercy8:
Na so una go talk. Deep down it is what it is.

The truth is that wayward men are looking for decent women to marry and vice versa.

What is making you make this conclusion is this. Most wayward men and women know how to spot decent partners because of their experiences.

When them wayward people sight a decent partner that is not aware of their past, they are very good at pretending to be decent so that the good partner can marry them. That's why you see some decent people ending up with wayward partners.

Blessedmercy8:
Nlfpmod.

Men abi I lie?

You lie sis.

Slutty women are for the roads, agro etc., decent women are for marriage.

Even wayward men are looking for decent women to marry.

It's difficult to see Nigerian woman that will easily go back to Nigeria from a first world country.

Many of them turn to Canadians, Americans or British etc. the moment their legs touch those countries.

It's like the marriage don tire the woman. Because she is just looking for trouble where trouble no dey.

nokia1000:
I have made a lifetime mistake. Sometimes I feel like committing suicide to get free from regretting. I am seeing myself going down slowly.

If it's getting to the bolded, please separate quickly. Don't kill yourself because of a woman.

If you die because of a woman, within a few month, another man will be mounting her.

Use your head please.

TWoods:
i-140 is for alien workers. you are on the wrong thread... you (or your employer) will need to file an i-485. The case number on your approved i-140 remains the same case number that will be used in filing your i-485. Unless you mentioned the wrong form...

The OP is going through consular processing route, not adjustment of status

hollo:
I have an approved i-140 petition. I would like to ask how long it took for USCIS to send your case to NVC, and when your case number was created. Thanks so much for your reply

To send cases to NVC, it usually takes about 1 week, max 2 weeks.

For the NVC to create the case in their system, it's currently taking about 1 months as per their time frames below

https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/us-visas/immigrate/nvc-timeframes.html

kollykolly:
Thank you all for creating this platform. Please I need guidance on filing my DS260 myself. I am on the stage of gathering all my required documents before NVC sends my invoice. @helpout please your advise and intervention.

When your case is received by NVC, NVC will send you a welcome letter containing NVC case number and Invoice number. You will need both to login into CEAC to pay the invoice and fill DS260

Below is current NVC time frames.

https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/us-visas/immigrate/nvc-timeframes.html

If you need more specific information about DS260, just ask here.

Toxic feminists misandrists will come and spoil this beautiful thread now.

Amza07:
Very painful, i remember how she would still support me before, but for the good deed she has done before i will not take it to the heart.
She is suffering i know but she sees how am doing my best

At bolded.

It means she has been there for you before when things were down. You want to find out why her behavior is different now.

Talk to her more, discuss more, find out why she is behaving different this time, give her more assurance that things will be okay.

Please be patient. Don't take her behaviors towards you now to heart because if you do, it will further affect your hustle.

Just focus on your hustle and kids for now. God will bless your hustle one more time.

Unfortunately, most women will behave like that when things are down for the man. You can only talk to her to be patient with you. There's nothing more you can do.

How is this about gender or married man or single girl dating argument for or against?

We are talking of a woman that used fake identity to book hotel, used drug to render her victim motionless before stabbing him multiple times to death. After killing him, took his ATM card to withdraw his money.

This woman can do this to a single guy, if the guy has money she can steal.

It's okay. Good luck with this.