₦airaland Forum

We need to listen to the husband side of the story before any judgment.

Because if he's a demon as you want us to believe, how come he can live peaceful with the mistress and his 4 children? Is the mistress not a woman too?

By the way, I am not advocating for domestic violence irrespective of the gender but this matter is beyond judgment from one sided story.

Only God knows how many men have left her after she told them she had 4 children.

It's difficult to see man marry with 4 children na.

When you tell them to be careful of jumping from bed to bed, they will not hear.

Or when they want to use emotion and social media illusion to scatter their marriage after 4 children, and you tell them nothing is outside, they will call you old school.

Lagbaja54:
Lol. Be looking at the front o. has it started snowing where you are?

yes bro. First snow of the year already. Winterization mode completed.

Because we black people lack sense.

Same way only our women reach abroad and abandon our marriage culture and become oyinbo wife immediately.

Alot of Nigerians are not informed about the history and politics of this world.

How is another country throwing 50million dollars towards your elections a good thing?

Who do black people this thing? God!

See Nigerians jubilating over this. You think this is free and it's because America loves Nigeria? Think again.

Don't be surprised when US starts determining who wins or loses elections in Nigeria going forward.

Driving in with my Jeep Wrangler, blasting WAP by Cardi B.

Where are team "Don't Japa, Nigeria is the best place to be"?

Why this one moved his family to the US, and not put them in Ibadan?

Now you know your true position.

You are just eleko... supplier of akamu. In other words, you are just a fvck and sperm supplier.

You either continue your supplies or stop the contract if you have been supplying without collecting money.

obinna58:

Thunder fire you and that your other moniker

Amen

obinna58:
Both monikers are fake bro

If true, na thunder go fire whoever dey behind those monikers.

Hollian:
Thanks you said it all on point 2

You are welcome.

As for your father-in-law, continue to be good to him but don't sweat it. Just focus on having good relationship with your wife.

Once you and your wife find ways to settle your issues, it will flow to her father.

From the little you have disclosed,

1. You married someone you dated for 2 months just because she got pregnant. Most likely both of you didn't know each other well enough before you married out of circumstance. Because of this, you might not even be compatible on many aspects of life.

On compatibility, it's not late to find out how compatible you people are. If you are both not and not willing to change lifestyle, beliefs, and life perspectives to become more compatible, you can as well end the marriage now because it will not work out.

2. Even if you are compatible, the moment you are struggling financially as the man of the house, you will see any woman in her true colors. This is why it's always good to have an idea of how a girlfriend will react to you when you are down financially before you marry.

Now that you are already in the marriage, you are financially down, all you have to do is continue to hussle hard and talk to your wife that everything will soon be okay. Sit her down. Talk to the soft side of her. Let her know that you need her peace, support and prayers to pull through and become the man she wants financially.

3. Even if compatibility and finance are not the issue, there's always the initial learning curve or stage in every marriage. This is usually immediately after marriage to a couple of years after, where both parties will relax, display their true self. This is stage where most marriages fight or quarrel the most because the parties have to re-learn the true characters of their partners. Most people hide their bad characters during dating, most especially when they want the dating to end in marriage.

To pass this stage, you both need alot of patience, tolerance, commitment and communication. If you both recognize this stage and apply all mentioned, the stage will surely pass and you will get your home back in order.

Good luck!

Commendable. Kudos to their parents!

This can mostly come from a stable home, not from a woke damaged "modern" home.

Until the moniker that first brought the matter here confirm you as her husband by commenting here, I am not saying Jack.

When I say even stupid people grow old, this is a typical example.

Why is an old woman recording sex tape?

IjeBos:
And what do you think happens to girls who continuously see their mom's abused? Or sons who think that behavior is normal? What type of men/woman do they end up becoming? Have you ever heard of generational curses?

There's no single sweet marriage that doesn't have fights, misunderstanding, challenges. When those fights, misunderstanding happen, the father and mother must not expose their children to it. Keep it away from them.

Of course, it will send bad messages to the children.

I see some women that will purposefully sit their children down and be talking down on their husbands and vice versa whether in marriage or in divorce.

If adults in a marriage understand that they must keep their children out of their marriage challenges, there will be nothing that will affect the children psychology.

This is why in some countries, if children protection services learned that parents fight in front of their children, they can take the children away from the parents.

Flamemignon1:
Think about this from the perspective of if it was your wife doing these or if it were your sister or daughter going through what she's going through

We need to tell ourselves the bitter truth, that men and women are not the same and don't face equally same challenges in life.

When matters like this happen, there's no one way fits all in how to handle then. It all depends on the entire unique circumstance.

In this her unique circumstance, I have given her the best advise I will give my blood sister.

What's the title of the movie please if it has been released?

You don't even that illuminati have changed their name.

How can you help people join an organization you know nothing about?

Enacto:
Yes I might have disrespected him by pushing him that night but i don't think I ever did or spoke back to my dad whenever he is talking most times I just remain silent .I'm not a baby why will I be fighting for my mom most times I fight for my dad whenever there is a disagreement or I don't even interfere at all. Most of the things my elder brother does to my dad and he will not talk, I dare not say 1% to him. I have changed churches at home all because he said if I don't follow him to every church he changes to he will disown me yet I always follow him to those churches but never made it mandatory for my elder brother

Just go and apologize to your dad. As for your elder brother, is he married with children?

Because most young men don't understand what their old men are going through until they get to that stage of their life too.

Until autopsy confirms what kills them. Many Americans are dieing of drugs overdose these days.

Those are irresponsible men right there.

It's never late for your uncle and his family to leave.

Tell your mother to stop feeding them, stop paying house rent. Everyone will find their ways soon after that.

Life2020:
Omo, he didn't change, it's all pretence
I have made my decision and about me being a single mom, I'm used to it, what part of he is never around don't u get.
So because he came and spend little time with his own children, i should forgive him.
Some people are even advising me to pay the side chick off, for what. Please I'm not that de

If you are sure he is just pretending to change. Then do what you think it's best for you.

Good luck.

DCmaverick:
i just dont knw what came over me

Go and apologize to your mom. That's the person that loves you the most in this world.

That does not mean you cannot still advise her about your views on their misunderstanding. Don't pick sides, remain neutral but never allow it to affect your personal relationship with either of them.

It's their marriage or relationship. It's different from yours

salem1996:
I laught at some of your comments, saying things you can't even do yourselves.

So we should encourage people to be disrespecting their parents?

If disrespecting of parents by their children is accepted then everyone will be disrespecting everyone in the society.

This same man must have raised her till now, done so many good things in her life and will still do more in future in her life.

But because he scolded her because she beat a 3year child, now he is a demon that must be disrespected.

Life2020:
U are very wise
I thought about that and I have made up my mind that I'm not going to marry again, at least not till my girls are grown up.
I have heard stories about girls being sexually abused or even physical abused, I don't want my girls to grow up in that type of environment.
I might have a few date here and there but let's see because my girls will always be first.
Honestly I want to hear his side of the story because I'm honestly curious to hear his own side of the story.

I remember your story then. The elders did not advise you to scatter your marriage then. We told you to insist on STD tests and ensure he is no longer cheating before you continue having unprotected sex with him.

From your new narrative, he had agreed to conduct STD tests, he had come back home. The pregnancy outside is a new thing now.

About the pregnancy, I think that happened before he decided to change and come back home. I want to say it's part of his mistakes while outside.

I know you are hurting to learn about this now but don't take a decision while under anger or emotion.

If he had truly changed from cheating, you people can start rebuilding your home.

The children suffer the most in a broken home. You even have girls. I can tell you most ladies raised by single mothers end up single mothers when they grow up. Think deeply about your children welfare now and in future before you use emotion to scatter your home.

Lastly, be careful of advise you take from your fellow women irrespective of their age or status because most of them will advise from emotional perspective or outrightly lie to you when they advise you.

What is this world turning into?

So you disrespect your father and come online to come and ask us if you should forgive him?

Go and apologize to your father. Stop disrespecting him for whatever reason. And stop fighting your father because of your mother.

If you present yourself as a humble, respectful daughter to him, you can go close to him and table what you think he should do better about the family. But you are going about it the wrong way.

Wizzyonyxphoenix:
Of course he wouldn't. Because of transport costs and all that..
And his mum would feel absolutely terrible if he stays more with him. She's alone, remember? And she's already used to his presence since he grew up with her
Yes, he does. On phone

He cannot live with his mother forever. Likewise, he cannot live with his father forever.

He has lived with her up until now. He has received motherly upbringing. It's time for him to get some fatherly upbringing as well.

He should be visiting his mother from time to time. Technology has even made this very easy these days. He can voice or video call his mother as he wishes to complement the physical visits.

It's that time of his life to start growing to become a man instead of a mama's boy.

Wizzyonyxphoenix:
Of course he wouldn't. Because of transport costs and all that..
And his mum would feel absolutely terrible if he stays more with him. She's alone, remember? And she's already used to his presence since he grew up with her
Yes, he does. On phone

1. On your first point of the corrections the father is giving him. He should please listen to most of what the father is telling him. It's for your friend best interest in future.

Apart from arts or science study stuff, all other guidance his father is giving him as you described here are in order. I think as a boy being raised by a single mother, alot of your friend's behavior is getting derailed. He honestly needs his father advise at this point of his life before it's too late.

2. Tell him never get worried or involved in the problem between his parents. He will not understand it now until he has come of age. He should love both of his parents irrespective of whatever happened in their union.

3. On the business. Business is always very risky and mostly not for everyone. If the business is not working out for him, he should go for the teaching job.

In summary, at this stage of his life, he needs his father's guidance alot as he is growing to become a man. He should be humble and know that his dad is giving his best advise. If he disagrees with any of his father's advise, he should politely talk it through with his dad and not see it as if the old man is disturbing his life.

WhiteAngels001:
I'm trying to carry out a survey for a foreign agency that provides therapeutic and counselling services that requires them to call and check up on their clients up to 3 times daily... So the services is per month and they're contemplating on the best price to slam on the service. That's why I'm asking if 100-150 is fair enough

Read the article below.

https://www.forbes.com/health/mind/how-much-does-therapy-cost/

150 dollars per month on therapy does not look expensive in the US