₦airaland Forum

We met at my ex-boyfriend's house

Hattbricker:
They are not bad people, they are just broke. I've tried to set them up with something to bring income in the past but it keeps going under. I'm just confused on how to deal with this

Stop sending them money for your projects since it's obvious they will blow it. Just send them money for themselves when you can. They have proved that they don't have your interest at heart, but are just selfish.

It will be hard to get that money back from them. Just let them know that you are not happy with what they did and you are disappointed, that it means you can't trust them with your future.

virginprincess:
I rep may 26th

Wow! Same here

MsJackson:
my point exactly. It just tells me the love is one sided. And I am almost locking up. Let everyone rest. If u don't ever check on me, why should I continue?

Have you discussed it with your husband? What does he say about it?

Mariangeles:
My gawd!!!

What nau? It's not that bad.

Philip4564:
bread and orange?? Which one is this I never hear of this ooo.

Don't worry. Everyone is already tired of me. I chew the bread and suck the oranges. My cousin asked "why not juice it or take juice instead". It's not the same

Bread and beans
Bread and oranges
Bread and butter (as in real butter like President butter, not margarine)

I don't think it's normal that she has never ever called you to check on you. Does she call her son (your husband)? Does she call her daughter(s)?

If she sees and accepts you as her daughter, she should be calling you. From her behaviour, you are still an outsider to her. Does she tell her own children that they should be the only ones calling her? Would a mother not check on her children?

That's my opinion.

A lot of men always think their siblings are blameless in situations like this. They never tell themselves the truth. All those troublesome people we see around are inlaws to people, and they cause trouble in their homes. But someone will.come and say that you must accept my family instead of trying to create a balance.

In my case I was warned by my husband himself to be careful of getting too close. Guy knows his people and just saved us all problems.

Babara1994:
Where did he state that he was cohabiting with her?

Why was he the one running around and taking her to the hospital, trying to get treatment if she was in her father's house? Besides, they had a child together.

There's no need for the back and forth. That is their tradition and he was warned about the tribe. Except he wants to lose the relationship with his son he should try to reach an agreement with them

Babara1994:
I really wonder why you people think like this!! So sleeping with a lady means you must marry her? Do you know the spiritual implication of marrying a corpse? Una dey think so??

When did sleeping with a lady and putting her in your house without marrying her become your right? The fact that it is done and people get away with it doesn't make it right. There are consequences man.

Go and try it and let her pass on in your custody, you will know whether people think or not. The op after all his defiance has agreed to pay the bride price.

I'm not the one that told him.to go marry her. But unfortunately, that is the tradition in most places when you cohabit without wedding properly.

StilmaVsBorn2w:
Thank you, am going today with my people, have already spoken with her elder brother they expecting us.

I told you the initial gra gra would pass. You were listening to gen z people that think everything is about wokeness.

Good luck.

nams77:
The guy has not done the first thing he needs to to do, which is, go meet the elders in HIS family for advice.

I pity these young generation guys

Dem think say life na ludo.

Like someone said, it's going to be an uphill battle even if he is a general overseer of a ministry.

He should allow the elders in his family mediate. But of course, this kind of person sees the old people in his family as scum

Forget the gen z guys, they don't get it. The guy will still swallow his words.

Brume001:
If it was my Daughter, I would mourn her and try to console the man who is in a lot of debt past a million. this will only be the case if the man is well known among us, and we have a good relationship with him.

if we don't have a good relationship, I will ignore both the man. and feel extremely sad and bitter that my daughter never followed morals and ethics. I may never talk to the man for life and really not think much about his child.

Now if the guy ignored my daughter and let her die without putting any effort, if he had the means, I will hurt him bad. really bad. It doesn't matter the type of relationship we have with him

It is just me sha. Maybe it is because I am a guy and know what it means to have debts on my neck.

Console him as what? Boyfriend, guy that didn't respect your daughter enough to wed her first before assuming a role aa her husband.

Unfortunately, it's not about you alone. Your place has a culture and traditions that govern you. Or else young men will think they can just take your children and cohabit with them without going through the right channel.

The guy didn't have to do a ceremony if he wasn't buoyant. Just meeting her family with his family to pay the bride price first would have made more sense.

Ilaje1:
"He took someone's daughter...". Was she kidnapped? Was she forced to move in with him? Was she rapped? And she didn't take someone's son abi? The family should even be happy she left a son behind, a consolation.

All this one you are saying go and tell the family. You think that is how it works. Go and camp a lady in your house first.

Brume001:
Chop for free? He took care of her. That is him paying his due. See. Nothing will happen to him. Nothing. Rubbish backward mindset. When she was eating his money, she wasn't eating him abi

He took someone's daughter and kept her in his house and made her his wife without doing the proper rites. She even had a child in that union. Who else was supposed to take care of her in his house? You? If she were to be in her parents' house, they would have been taking care of her there.

You are talking from the standpoint of a man and a "Nigerian girl". If you were looking at it from the point of view that she's your daughter, your response would be different.

It's not my mindset that is the topic here. The people whose daughter/sister he camped in her house are the ones you should direct your anger to. One thing is for sure...he's playing with his son's relationship with him.

bukatyne:

Lol...wetin I talk?

Klass99:
You made me smile, I think at the back of my mind and in the depths of my soul, I know I will most likely not end up with a Nigerian man because of the way my mind and mindset works.

Judging Nigerian men by the Nairaland standard is the first mistake. By Nairaland standard, my husband is not a Nigerian man

Toplap:
I saw the thread where the two monikers you named Just.behave and Rights.to.Reject said this abortion and womb thing about you. The vawulence that day was hot and you won, thank god for the screenshots you posted to show you were not telling lies

Please link to the thread

KevinDein:
I swear women shame men far more than the other way round. Literally on this thread few pages from this one you'll find women broke shaming a dude for posting his bank account.
The lack of self awareness from you guys is impressively mind boggling.

Please look at the antecedents of the guy you mentioned first. He is being attacked that way because of his online persona. You probably know but choose to ignore that part.

Klass99:
Why are you talking too much? Prove your claims with links to my old moniker and story na.

If you are not a coward and bastard, spill the beans on my sordid present and past. You can respond to DMs and continue telling your lies there.

But start proving yourself here and right now. You think you can spin a yarn about me like that and I will walk away? Na you messed with the wrong person today.

Very typical of men to want to shut women up by bullying and shaming. Don't let anyone peddle lies about you to shut you up.

JovialJune:
You cannot shame the shameless, that's his case, since 2019 he has been begging, if not that I want to be a little bit nice today, I would have dragged his existence till Oblivion.

Please no vex. Let the poor boy use the small money he will get to eat and feel ok, so that he can have small energy to resume his rants online.

Klass99:
Thank you very much for stating the obvious. That guy is on every front page thread, always the first to comment with nonsense and stupidity.

If only he would channel his nasty energy into something productive and fruitful offline, he won't need to come online and beg for money like he does.

Make person just announce giveaway small, you will see him jumping all over that thread begging to picked as beneficiary. He does not remember at that moment that Nigerian girls are useless and they have nothing to offer o

He has no class, zero decorum and no shame. Yet, he spends every waking moment on NL running his gutter mouth anyhow about Nigerian women instead of finding honest work to do for honest living.

His comments should be taken with a pinch of salt. He's probably pained and frustrated because he can't afford to step to any babes. It's people without levels that make the most noise here.

JovialJune:
Davash, you can never disappoint, always hungry

I always say this, women haters here are the below par of the society, tufiakwa.

It is that frustration that he channels to hating women. He has quickly posted his account number for cold beer .

StilmaVsBorn2w:
Initial gra gra bah? Come and force me

I can't force you.

You are just here lashing out because you know you are in a tight corner and will most likely have to do the marriage rites.

What are your people saying? That should give you a clue whether to continue being stubborn or just go ahead.

DryMouth:
And your comment was sensible.

Abeg no man can stay with one woman forever. Especially after 4kids. The pussy is already dead and nothing to enjoy.

So because you are broke, you are a better husband now.

You think women all want to stay with one man forever with the same manhood? You think it's only men that want variety or something new? If a woman decides to stay put, it's not because she's a fool but because it's her choice.

Davesaves:
she is right my sister. being a submissive wife doesn't pay. just go out there and enjoy your life. if ur husband catches u and sends u back to your father's house, it will be his loss cos you will have nothing to loose

I don't know what you are talking about.

Caleycashh:
Great!... they should be responsible and bear what comes out of it not coming on social media and seeking for pity and people's views, no one actually cares!!!

The same way the ones who married "not rich" guys should do too.

We should stop this prejudice for girls who married rich guys. Why not the same prejudice for girls who married poor guys? Must everyone marry poor?

StilmaVsBorn2w:
No I won't

This is just initial gra gra because you don't understand the magnitude of what has happened. This is not even about the tribe. Most tribes do this.

They will just be watching you as you are chopping their daughter/sister for free. You even got her pregnant. Now she died without getting the proper rites done for her.

You will pay her brideprice. Ask your mum and your people what they think.

DryMouth:
If you like write full epistle.

The fact remains all women have an expiration date.

And so do men sweety. You were not created to live forever either.

If you are going to say something, please let it be sensible at least. Don't comment for the sake of commenting.

Caleycashh:
No body came to this world as a special person with touch of being rich, anyone can be rich same way anyone can go broke... Zazoo zeh is a very huge example, what annoys many men about Nigerian women is the quest for looking out for who's rich without even care of the source, what you always here is "him get money!?" None of them is asking any other rational questions... I hardly pity women nowadays cus most doesn't do their check well before entering into a marriage, it's all about the money for them!

And nobody came into this world with the thought of being poor; chosen specially to be struggling.

It's nobody's business if a girl prefers to marry into money, just like it's nobody's business if she decides to marry a guy that is not rich.

What if she knows the source and it's genuine? Will you be ok with that? Or you think every rich or comfortable is into something shady?

You don't pity girls who go into marriage with rich men and something happens along the line. But you'll pity them if they married a broke guy and something happens down the line, right?

Some girls will.suffer with a broke guy while some would rather go for a rich guy. Know this and know peace.

tollyboy5:
When my dad was still working at CBN . He has this video cassette shop he run as side hustle .
People came to rent cassette that year.

Every home has rewinder. This na around 2001 lol

Modified:
Old men full this forum . Na like 2001 I understand sey na VHS and AKIRA VCD we dey use.
Some people here are already teenagers as at 1993, awon agba!

And if you had a portable DVF player, you were balling.