₦airaland Forum

Ekaka1:
You're absolutely spot on but you can imagine the bile and nauseating hate for Chelsea here...and if we win theyd change the story and tell us that Villarreal or any other EPL team will use us as wipes blablabla and if we lose they'd forget that they didn't even give us the chance to come this far...not even as The Whole World and pundits are applauding the the boys this night for rising to the occasion...the Nigerian fan base has problems they troll and hate beyond the beautiful game....and I just wonder

When indeed Chelsea fans are the greatest trolls, especially against United. The hate should be expected and accepted in good faith.

Janosky:
You are LYING on everyone on this public forum as well as to yourself.

Doctrines change but the word of God doesn't. Where is the lie?

Janosky:
ImaIma1, this is a public forum.
Oga, continue LYING & console yourself.

Lying to who?

Any church that has their own doctrine that is not directly based on the bible is setting itself up, just like JW and their doctrines.

sisisioge:



Poor kids want to have sex but religion is boxing them into a marriage contract to do with....I hope they dont each turn around in the next few years to wonder how they got into this. It is well fa.

You spoke my mind.

They want to have sex and the only way is that they get married. If not, what are these kids doing getting married. Don't they have parents and relatives to guude them?

After they have had the sex, real life will start and they will know what's up.

Abaman001:
Ok... you made valid points and I must agree with you, man don't have to Lord over his wife, this is a matter of individual differences, i love women who reasons smartly but not to disrespect a man in the process, I love women who talks maturely with some level of respect when making their point, the most challenge some women have are their manners. Believe me the most problem in families today are triggered by the way most women talks to their partners when being offended, not all men has the ability to tolerate it and over come it thus, leading to fight which of course become violence, that is why the Bible says the power to build a home and to destroy a home lies in the tongue of a woman, that where the so called education and westernization comes to play negative parts in our marriages, bcus prides and feminism will not allow the woman to choose are words when replying her partner...the power to control a man lies in the tongue of a woman, God made man the head and made woman the manager and controller of the man's world, Eve controlled Adam to her bidding, Julila controlled Samson with her tongue, the problem of today's woman is not understanding how to manage her powers over a man....no man is born naturally wicked or bully over a woman, every man melt down when spoken rightly by a woman, it's a natural thing in every man, that is why every strong man's weak point is always a woman..... challenging spirit and rubbing shoulders with a man can never win a man's heart, but when you message their eagles, you will see them melting down for you as a woman and people will be thinking it a juju but it's not...all what a woman need is to understand her man that's all, that's were our parents played better rolls than our today's educated women, and they are missing out....

I believe and understand that the man and woman have their parts to play when it comes to marriage. Women need love/affection, men need respect. One party cannot be failing and expecting the other to carry the weight of the marriage alone.

A man has an obligation to treat his wife with caution and care. You cannot take a woman from her father who was not maltreating here and you start treating her badly. She will revolt.

A woman is a human being with feelings, intelligence and a sound mind. You can't expect her to remain like a prisoner when a man treats her badly.

Men have to change from their patriarchal way of running their homes because any woman with a sound mind will not be held down from fulfilling her dreams and maximizing her potential. A woman was not created to serve a man. She also has her purpose in life.

truthsayer009:
Your convos use to make me laugh anytime I remember your comment saying you aren't a Christian, omo even Christian gaan no dey quote bible reach you, or perhaps the username I saw was just similar to yours because the way you are always quoting bible, even Mummy G.O sef no do reach you.

Abeg, you be Christian abi you no be Christian, which one?

The devil can quote the scriptures more than most Bible scholars. And some people can twist the Bible to suit their arguments.

Abaman001:
Thank you for ur submission regarding my view towards the major causes of our today generation failures in keeping their marriages or relationships, but then I wasn't expecting
anything less from what you have said on that regard from a today modern woman (feminist)... The hard truth is that ur view and believe occasioned by the so called civilizations and changes in mankind from the female folks is the root cause of littered single motherhood that is ravaging our present day society. Sister believe me, single motherhood is not a child's play, it's has a heavy negative effect on the innocent kids and as well as putting so many single mothers into depression, e.g Tonto Dikeh, with all the money she has and all her fame she is still under depression ( you can say she is not, but then her character in public space proves otherwise).... If you are not a single mother, pls, don't pray for it and don't go for it, except you are well equipped financially.... Again, God who made man ahead of woman have a reason for doing it so, he knows more than any of us and what will happen in a million years to come, except you also don't believe in God, but you must believe in nature, at least nature has made it that male always leads the female both in humans and animals....it's a free world, you are at liberty to choose what to believe but the consequences you also have to bear it....

When making examples, leave people like Tonto Dike who do not represent the everyday woman out of it.

The single motherhood is caused by who? Women? The truth is that men are insecure about their position as heads. They feel they have to lord over and suppress the woman to be relevant in the home. That should not be the case.

Do men sincerely love their wives the way they were commanded to? Yet they demand submission.

No one was created to be an underdog, whether man or woman. With enlightenment, women are aware that they deserve to be treated like joint heirs to the Kingdom, and not like slaves under a mere man created by the same God.

Dorwadora:
Good evening my Romancelanders and Nairalanders. I hope y'all been having a good day?

Here's the thing.

Due to the ASUU strike I decided to get a job around my school instead of going home because Ekiti has become home for me. I resumed work on Monday, that's 6 days ago. I and my boss have not been having any issue. He gives the command and I get the work done but recently he has been giving me his home key to go and cook for him. The first time I was surprised because giving your house key to someone you barely know is a bit weird to me but since Monday that I've started the work, I've been to his house 4 times cooking stew or vegetable soup. I'm there right now frying meats.

I am seriously not comfortable with the arrangement but I can't say no because I really need to keep the job and save up. He's married but his wife is not staying with him and cooking and cleaning is the job of a wife not a staff.

Please house how can I stop this whole charade without losing the job?

The first thing to ask here is...does your job description involve cooking for your boss?

Things like this are hard to stop when started. You need to let him know that you are not ok with the "other duties". Bit have it at the back of your mind that you might lose the job.

Romanoff:
Until we stop shaming single mothers or divorcees, there are people that would rather stay in abusive relationships and be praying and watching war room than to leave with their lives intact just to avoid the backlash of the society.

"She no fit stay husband house", "na waka waka dey hungry her".

Etc.

The good thing is that those shaming is just by some insecure and ignorant people. People remarry these days.

In the midst of these DV this week, my friend shared her experience on her WhatsApp status.

She left an abusive marriage with one child. She said she was told different things like her mother would be removed as Christian mother and won't be allowed to take communion if she leaves. That if she finds someone to marry her, it will be as second wife. Different stories.

She got married to a single guy just about 3yrs older than her. The guy gives her peace of mind.

Those guys that say those rubbish are most bitter people. Especially on this forum, never take them seriously.

Abaman001:
The biggest challenge in today marriages and relationships in Nigeria are caused by feminism a.k.a man and woman are equal mentality, copying from the western lifestyle forgetting that cultures and environmental lifestyle differs from region to region across the globe
I'm not by any means trying to support any form of abuse in a relationship whether from male or from the female, the question we should be asking is why did our parents in past call it in the early days succeeded than the modem generation with all the so called education and marriage counselings, our parents in the past did not go into any form of marriage counselings yet they succeeded in all their marriages. Today if you visit marriage registration centers or data's you will be surprised to see that people coming to seek for divorce are more compared to those seeking to unite....it's really worrisome that people no longer want to be submissive and loyal to their partners, people are more interested in the material things than true love or commitment to their marriages, marriage is not all about bed of roses and fun fairs, it's about commitment, dedication, mutual understanding and love, cares and above all respect to one another, anybody who told you man and woman are equal is only trying to destroy you, even God almighty did not make it so, that is why he made the man the head of the family as Christ is the head of the church, sister don't let anyone deceived you......God never created man and woman at the same time, one came before the other.....

Leave feminism alone. Not everything is about feminism.

We should learn to stop comparing today's marriages to our parents marriages. Our parents didn't know better. They don't have the information we have now.

Besides, there were still failed marriages at that time. At least I knew uncles and aunties who were no longer married. And I am sure you knew some too even though you want to conveniently ignore them to push you point home.

Also, the world has advanced. You cannot expect every thing else to advance while marriage remains redundant. You want to send a chat to someone and he or she receives it immediately, and not to write a letter to go and post it at the post office. But you want marriage to be the same way it was 40years ago.

There is enlightenment, information at people's finger tips to work with now. Now, women know that they also have a life and that they should be treated with respect. That no man has the right to maltreat them.

But men cannot deal with this change along with other changes in the world. Many of you feel the need to oppress your wives to show authority and mask your insecurity.

You men need to deal with the fact that marriages cannot be like our parents'. And this has nothing to do with feminism

RedCentaur:
Going through the Op's old posts can help you know 'who and what' exactly you are dealing with.

I won't be surprised if she concludes the video clip was doctored.

The only thing she's concerned about is who penetrated who . She can't think or process any information beyond that. Her brain shuts down.

Abi saphiere am I lying?

saphiere:
Who does the penetration? The woman? Can you please define rape/sex?

I don't think you are here to understand how it happens, but to counter ebery explanation you get and render it impossible.

Men are raped. You keep asking who does the penetration. Does the man have to be on top? In most cases, it's usually more than one woman.

Raping means that a person is made to have sex against his/her will. So if at gun point a man is stimulated and mounted or made to mount a woman, that is rape.

You expect it to happen the way a woman's own happens. It can't. So understand that men also get raped.

yinkaOdutuyo:
This is my experience:

I'm a student of NOUN Mushin study centre to be precise.

So I went to write exam at VI the Hqtrs for Lagos. If you know NOUN at VI very well you'll know there is a mini military base immediately after the school.

So I went inside the military base to do some photocopies when I entered I saw military men on the gate, they didn't even say Jack, I just greeted them and passed.

So as I was coming back I saw some military ladies at the gate, immediately i got close to them:

One of them said oga come here, where you dey come from?

Where you noisemask? I was confused and don't even know what to say, the next thing one of them said, we'll carry you go inside now go do wetin go make you sweat.

At that moment I was just blank for some seconds I wanted to ask go do what?

But those ladies are already threatening and shouting at me. So as they saw people noticing what's going on as people were entering and coming out of the base, they just calm down and I just rush out of the gate and left.

I'll just advice civilians to stay away from the military...

This is a normal thing that soldiers do, not necessarily the females alone. Seems like it's part of their training. They would shout "who goes there" "you wan buy job".

They do it to "bloody civilians" a lot. I attended a military boarding school, so I can say it's not a female thing. But when a female soldier wants to be wicked, she will finish work.

Kingozymandias:
Twitter no be your mate o....
The site that single handedly killed Nairaland
Word of advise , don't ever take your Nairaland attitude to Twitter, they will bury you there o
https://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/running.gif

Nairalanders there can't try what they do here.

princeeze1:
Your wife cheated in courtship! Red flag, but very forgiveable, you aren’t married yet. She cheated well into marriage with thesame person, and you don’t know they really did not stop before, they only got discreet earlier, and became careless as a result of your absence. Now that you are back, she is not sorry she cheated, but sorry because she got caught, they will get discreet again. You are a weakling and those advising you to let go, knowing it’s the second time with same person are not good people, will they tolerate cheating with same person a second time?
The love child between David and Bethsheeba was killed by God because it was the product of adultery, show even God abhors adultery. The Christ even abhors it!
Your wife and her lover bestie have no regards for you, if he was so good, what stopped him from wifing her before you did? You also have no self esteem which is what they have taken advantage of. If you already have a child with her, your first call now should not be about forgiveness but rather about paternity, before you start raising bastards. By now she should be in her father’s house, you cannot try to please a woke society by tolerating and covering an abominable act. It does not make you less of a man to call a spade a spade. Some people will not stay married and the heavens will not fall because yours did not work out. Don’t allow anyone guilt trip you to eat poison. You think all these people who cry paternity fraud after 20 years didn’t see all these signs you are seeing today in the beginning? They did but were too weak to be decisive!!!


NB: I am also very married!

You made a lot of sense. That bestie thing is always a precarious situation and very avoidable. People like to act like they can handle it. But most times they can't.

Feelings develop. So why keep sniffing food you cannot eat. They lie in the same bed, spend nights together the way girls would do and expect the emotions to be like girl to girl.

When a lady enters a serious relationship, there should be redefinition of that bestie relationship.

I'm not always quick to scream divorce but I agree that this guy has been disrespected and taken for granted. And that she's only sorry because she got caught, not that she realized her mistake, confessed and apologized.

She did not respect her marriage and her husband. Since she and the bestie love each other so much, they should be together.

Killmaster1:
U won't understand until u grow up.sometimes,the people may have attended ur parents event also.or they may share some bond that u don't know.people are seeing them.u will be shocked when u parents organise a simple event and there is no space for people!they reciprocate.

Not while there's no food to eat at home. We don't have to attend all parties. There are people that can use their children's school fees to attend parties. I don't attend every event but my event is always full. We have to choose which to attend.

klassyguy:
Good day everyone. So after all the advice, criticism, and others from my previous thread on this topic, I had a chat with my wife about taking my son for an evaluation. Like I mentioned in the previous thread, I had spoken to my mum and asked her if I was ever tested when I was younger, and she told me the school advised they do the test on me, which came out negative for ADHD. With that in mind, I convinced my wife to let us at least rule it out.

I took him for the test last Wednesday morning, The little guy seemed nervous. He was not the usual chatterbox that he was whenever we were in the car. The doctor took him in and after about an hour, they came out. He told me he will have the results sent to me as soon as they were ready.

On Monday, the call came through. He asked me a couple of questions about the boy which I answered. He said from the cognitive tests and analysis they conducted, they see NO SIGN OF ADHD. The result came out negative. He told me that during the test, he first had a bit of a struggle getting him to concentrate. But what made him initially doubt ADHD was later on in the evaluation, my son repeated every single thing the doctor had thought he was not paying attention to. As in everything. Word for word. He also said he was quite impressed when he started telling him about things he usually observed in kids that were way older than he was.

His conclusion - the kid is just bored. He is not being challenged enough. He said he has a very bright mind and we should try develop him. I thought about it too - the little guy is six. If he was in Nigeria today, he would be in primary 3. We Africans generally have brighter minds than other nations. He would have been doing more challenging stuff than the Grade 1 material he's doing now.

Thank you all for your suggestions and comments. Now that I know he isn't going through any mental "hell", I believe challenging him is the next thing I have to figure out. Like i mentioned, I put him in a soccer club and so far, with gentle prodding, he seems to be doing better. I also talk to him more and remind him everyday when going to school to behave. He seems to take the advice and his teacher told his mom last week that he behaves in class more. I rewarded him with some hours on the PS5 on Saturday and he was very happy. He recently asked me to get him a new James Train to replace the one he misplaced when we were moving house, and I told him if he behaves more in school, I will.

At least this has put your minds at ease about the,ADHD. Meanwhile some people had diagnosed,interpreted the diagnosis and even moved to treatment.

Challenge him as you have said. I believe that as he grows older it will all be better.

Calibrator:
I said what I said.


This mentality is always fronted by the less privileged and entitled peeps in every family.


If you are doing well for yourself, life na per head. Nobody should leech on another.



Face your immediate family and let communication amongst siblings be strictly about courtesy not billings as if the elder bro is in charge of the family trust fund


As the first son of the family who is forging ahead without any past or present assistance, just sheer individual willpower, I know first hand how people like OP reason, I also followed the initial thread page to page that year.


Nonsense and entitlement!

Your pain is from being a first born and going through the billing process. That is why you can't stop your mind from believing that it must be about the money.

Maybe you should remove your personal bias and realize that it's not always about money. Not every sibling is a leech like yours, if yours are.

My sibling who is not close to the family that everyone has been trying to bring closer is the one that is doing the least amongst all of us. So it's not like he has money to give us.

We just want everyone as a unit thst we should be.

Mariangeles:
When I read comments such as this one, it shows me how much I'm blessed.
I can't help but be grateful for the kind of family that I have.

Truly, some of us don't even realize how blessed we are until we read/hear the story of others.

Seriously o. Thank God for good families. Video calls every single day. Calls to my siblings everyday. We cannot mind our business. We want to know what you ate that day

These ones are just using the lives of Nigerians to play politics.

Reflect7:
The people in the pictures look pretty 'secure' to me...

Till "bandits" attack

AfroAgroPower:
Blood Covenant which HELPED Men STAY Responsible...

It is not the Virginity of Women that makes men stay Responsible... But The Blood Covenant involved in their Union.


You understand now ?

Smh

AfroAgroPower:
There used to be a Blood Covenant between Men Who got Married to Virgins which helped Make Men Stay Responsible in Their Marriages with Women.

The above was not my confusing mind or preoccupied thoughts.

AfroAgroPower:
Now; Get this point too.

What is Unfaithfulness to you?

I'm quite sure Unfaithfulness to you would mean that a man remains Married to Only One Wife.


However; This is not the meaning of Unfaithfulness.


Unfaithfulness has nothing to do with Having Other Wives.

Even The Bible doesn't record Abraham, David, Joseph, Solomon and Many others Who married more than One Wife as UNFAITHFULS simply because they had other wives.

Why?


These Men Understood the Principles of Marriages which have been lost in today's world of confusion.



There exist THE RIGHT FOUNDATION which Marrying More than One Wife is Justifiable before Man and God.


The Right Way for A Man to Marry More Wives is to Seek The Consent of His First Wife.

And Most often, She will accept His Proposal of marrying more wives if she Understands His Reasons which most likely will be favorable to her.



It is recorded in some instances in the scriptures where Wives Insinuated, Begged and Convinced Their Husbands to Marry Another Woman for The sake of Child bearing.

For example: Sarah to Abraham.



Now; here is the truth.


Real Men are Men of Truths.

Real Men are very confident to Marry More Wives through Their First Wife.

The First Wife is The Door of Every Marriage and Family.

Real Men don't lie to their First Wives.

They know how to Love and Care for Them.

Hence; The Affection shown to These First Wife provides these Real Men The Advantages of Doing Their Wishes as Their First Wives Permit.


On the other hand; FAKE MEN are LIARS. They LIE up to the extent that They LIE To Their First WIFE.

They Lack CONFIDENCE. You lack CONFIDENCE as a Man the moment you begin Lying to Your FIRST WIFE because it simply means You are Lying To Yourself. The Bible puts it that A Husband and His Wife will come together to become ONE (1) Flesh.

Hence, if you are a man; and you are Lying To Your First Wife, then you are doing yourself more Evil.

How do all this you wrote mean that marry a virgin will make him more responsible? Your examples are from thousands of years ago.

Can you teleport back to the real word? A man marries a virgin and still sleeps around.

The wife doesnt beg him to sleep around or to get a second wife. How does getting a second wife favour the first wife? They get to share the man's problems?

How many wives these days want their husbands to marry another wife? Christians and even muslims. Come down from the clouds. You don't sound like you live on earth in present day.

Don't go back. What if your father decides to move back in? Will you tell him not to stay in his house? Rent the house out. You don't have to live in it.

AfroAgroPower:
You are right with all your points.


But don't get me wrong. I'm not insinuating that The Marriages of Irreligious people are Always going to FAIL, neither have I opined that The Marriages of Religious people will always be long lasting.


My point is that Historically; There used to be a Blood Covenant between Men Who got Married to Virgins which helped Make Men Stay Responsible in Their Marriages with Women.



However; The Ritual of This Blood Covenant for Marriages has been Trampled Upon due to The FAST GROWING and CHANGING WORLD.


Many Cultures and Traditions that helped Keep The Sanity of Sexuality between Men and Women have been trampled upon. Hence, many ills in the society.

Marrying a virgin wife doesn't keep a man from being unfaithful to her.

You seem to be stumbling a lot. Obviously you have a habit of checking your husband's phone. But I don't blame you, it's because of how he has behaved in the past.

It's glaring...he has no respect for you and the marriage, and even for himself. Really nothing you can do about this except to pray that he changes on his own. That's if you want to remain married to him.

lilvicky68:
You better stop checking your husband's phone unless you want to lose weight.

You mean she should stop stumbling and watch her step.

Everyone will be in your business.

Tickles001:
There's nothing here to remember. It would be nothing different from what I said here and you know it.
Remember your initial question "Why men don't marry a woman that is capable of helping financially?" Then I answered that primarily, men want something different from money when looking for a woman. The reason being that by the time she makes money, she's lost her ability to be the kind of woman a man would want.
But the bad economy has encouraged more men to accept the trade-off.


I know people will always have varied experiences on same matter, but doesn't change the natural other of man to woman relationship.
You know intelligence is relative. Yes you might be wrong in your assumptions about my intelligence, and another person so right on the same assumption.
Everyone is intelligent if you ask me, but not always in the aspect we want them to be.

Why do you think rich men cheat on their rich wives with younger but broke women? If money is what men want from women, why don't they cheat with older and financially capable women?
Go to campuses and see how rich men are trooping in looking for young girls that has no money. Why are they not going to secretariates and other big offices where they'd find capable women?
The answer is clear as day.

No need to argue back and forth on this matter. When you get married, it will be clearer. Till then, you can keep observing and concluding.

TheOldGods:
it was crazy how she exhausted hers, she didn't even ask me if I wanted something else to complete the money. Such a selfish fellow

So you brought her here for bashing? Why not just break up and move on?