₦airaland Forum

SenecaTheYonger:
Get that Twttter nonsense outta here. I Hate that place.

Hahaha

Twitter is da place to be.

LilMissFavvy:
In my first comment I stated clearly that any wise elder brother in that condition should help his younger one with chores, cooking, without waiting to be told. No sensible human would stay in a house without helping out.

What happens when he doesn't?

LilMissFavvy:
It is wrong for you to instruct your elder brother to prepare the meals. If he was making his own money, you wouldn't try it. If you don't want to listen fine.

You make it sound bad when you say "instruct". Is there really anything bad if an older one compliments his younger ones efforts by preparing a meal or helping out?

It seems we carry titles in this country like a badge and neglect basic things we should do, hiding under elder one syndrome.

yorubarere:
I like how you handled her with much maturity.

My intention was not to fight her, but I guess her default mode is to attack.

Xilsbridalhouse:
Your response is so full of maturity.

I am touched

SenecaTheYonger:
The thing about humans is they don’t take their own advice but good at criticism. Let’s see you do the same when your kids are of age.

I think one thing about humans is that they think "one shoe fits all", "your mum is just like mine".

I am following my own mum's footsteps. She brought us up well enough for us to be able to make our decisions ourselves. She would only chip in advice. And all of us married our choices; Yoruba, hausa.

My issue is with parents trying to dictate their children's lives and the children allowing it.

bhella10:
I didn't jump into anything. Just admit you were childish to lot of you "women"

I don't think you know what childish is. Your comment showed that you just wanted to comment without facts. Read my responses to her clearly and without the prejudice you are carrying. But if you still don't get it after reading it, please move on. Thanks

SenecaTheYonger:
You wrote this:

“ why do the sons take everything they say hook line and sinker especially as regards their choices of life partners”

So I’m asking you, who should they listen to? Is it you or the person they’ve known their whole lives?

How many perfect people do you have in your life right now that do not have any flaws that you take advice from?

Ok, at least you added the "hook line and sinker" part. And that means they take everything she says whether it is biased or unbiased without their own choices into consideration.

Parents should advice and not impose. That is my point.

I didn't know that virgins have special grace of exemption from being rude and disrespectful.

Is it the hymen that promotes the respect and kindness?

This question was asked in a poll for married couples in my church and mostly the women said NO. The pastor was bothered.

bhella10:
I wonder what your male children will say when they see how two grown ups in a child's body misbehaving in public

I wonder what your family members will think when they realize that you jump into conversations that you are not invited into and comment without thinking it through properly.

SenecaTheYonger:
And who else are they supposed to listen to than the person who has been there for them their whole life? You? Or maybe point to a perfect individual you’re supposed to take instructions from then

Who said anything about not listening to our mums? I don't think you read to understand.

Munzy14:
Na so...

Not everyone will be lucky to have a good mom, likewise not everyone will be lucky to get a good wife.

No matter how great a mum is, she aint perfect.

deltateam:
Most mothers are fussy and someone rightly mentioned that the criteria should be relationship with her husband.

Although the relationship with the husband often depends on the kind of man your mum married.

If she married an understanding, hardworking, caring and appreciative man, she would behave differently than if she married a drunkard or wife beater or man who's lazy and doesn't provide for his family etc

Some women will marry a good man and still frustrate him.

larryjonze:
morning ma' welcome to jornwhite solutions, we offer jumpsuits or water + soap for those who would av engage in mud fight buh are afraid ... with us you don't av to worry about dirt, ur body no go know

Thanks, but I'll have to pass.

Xilsbridalhouse:
She was extremely disrespectful for no reason! I avoid people like her like a plaque.

Best to ignore such people before they drag you into the mud with them.

OpinionCounts:
Experience. The adage, what an elder sees sitting down, a kid cannot see even after climbing an iroko tree.
They know they gave their husbands problems. They are also more experienced to spot their type of person in a lady, so they do everything to avoid their sons falling into the hands of their type of woman that will trouble him too.
Someone does not have to be perfect to give a perfect advice.
I had a certain cult friend back in my days in the university. He was 3years ahead of me. I was just a fresher. He kept advising me on the kind of friends to keep, the things to look out for to avoid falling into trouble with cultists, the areas in the school premises I should never go to to hangout at so so time, and how to spot a cultist and avoid too close association with the person to avoid mistaken identity or forced initiation etc.
I still owe him a lot of thanks today because though he was what the society will consider a bad guy, but his advice from superior experience helped me avoid making the mistakes he made.

So that's it.

Unfortunately, their advice is not always free of bias as humans that they are and not God. Their advice may be out of their experiences but does not always necessarily have to affect our own outcome.

I have a friend whose mum really gave him stress about his choice of a wife because she was of the opinion that he marries not just from their tribe but their state and even from their village as he is the first son.

The peaceful son obliged his mother and he married from where his mum wanted/advised. They are married with kids now but the mother hardly visits her son, not to talk of staying over because she and the wife cannot see eye to eye. He ended up marrying a woman as tough as his mother.

The other son she disapproved of his wife because she was from another tribe entirely is the one she visits and stays with. He didn't even listen to his mum. He married his own choice. Now that is the wife the mother is close to.

Elders are not always right. They don't know it all.

ivolt:
Those "our mothers" crew have been exposed.
Any little discussion, they refer to "our mothers" to silence others.

You sef see am.

travelinfo:
Nobody is perfect

Know this & know peace

Don't worry. I am a young mum and I know that. So it's funny when guys take everything their mums say without questioning it. Even my little girl will ask me "why"

Bola146:
@ mariahAngel, God bless you real good , ima or whatever he/her name should use her/his senses well before commenting, you can't just be writing rubbish

Apparently, you are still a child, because you don't even know how to communicate without exposing your immaturity. If you had any sense that is of any worth, would you type this rubbish you just did? NO.

MariahAngel please don't mention me with this disrespectful girl again abeg. I don't have time for people who lack home training.

Bola146:
Small kid, don't tell me what you don't know please I'm not a small child, you be witch oooo maybe you joined them together and still monitoring them Discuss your own parents, let people learn from it abi!!!!!

You can't help sounding like a child and you are calling me one

My parents were not the discussion here. You were the one who listed sterling qualities about your mum. However, none of the qualities matched the topic about being a wife. So read to understand, rather than to attack.

Bola146:
Ask Google or map of Nigeria or any of your parents to tell me that

You can ask them yourself.

But it's ok, you only highlighted the features of your mum that appeals to you as a child. You don't have to say the aspects you are unaware of or don't want to discuss.

jeff1607:
No woman or mother out there is perfect,the only good thing is letting the good things or character overshadow the negative side.

If the knowledge of their imperfection is known, why do the sons take everything they say hook line and sinker especially as regards their choices of life partners, especially when it is apparent that are not perfect and are not beyond making mistakes.

mariahAngel:
For real?

I am shocked at the comments here o. I thought all NL guy's mothers were the perfect role model wife material.

Bola146:
100% YES!!! She trained 2 PhD, Msc and 1 BEd by herself. She loving, caring, she forgives easily, she loves her privacy, she taught me giving is good no matter how rich or poor you are, she can greet from her house to only when she is tired. I hate her first but when I was growing up, I will continue to appreciate her whenever I remember all the lessons she taught us. She is just a good role model to me!

What of her relationship with your father. That is supposed to be the basis for your answer. Because, her relationship with you, her child is different from her relationship with her man.

These days fathers are more intentional with being close to their kids. And mothers should let the kids know when daddy buys them stuff. The father might drop money to get things for the kids and they assume mummy bought it.

If you ask my daughter who bought her a new item, she says it's mummy and daddy. Let daddy's efforts be acknowledged.

DkJay:
When I was younger, I did something that pissed my elder sister off, I don't remember what. She came after me, teeth and fist, tore my shirt. When I had taken all I could, I swung around and hit her. Just once.

When my dad heard of it, he woke me up that night. And flogged me senseless. That insulated cable used for running underground installations, he used it till it broke and the inner components were showing.

For every stroke of his hand, I got six to eight markings. My hand was swollen for a week afterwards.

He didn't ask whether she was the offender or not. I learned my lesson that night.

No matter the provocation, a man's not meant to hit a lady.

Your father is gangster o.

The school I went to, (military) it was completely unacceptable for a guy to hit a girl. The soldiers won't even ask what the girl did, and she would be the one to pick the punishment.

They tell the guys to come report the girls, no matter what instead of hitting them. I remember my friend was slapped by a guy because she stepped on his legs when he refused to take it off the road.

She went straight to report to our RSM, a soldier students coordinator. They sent for the guy and asked my friend what punishment she was picking for him. She said she wanted to slap him back.

The soldiers told the guy to stand at attention, put his hands by his side and told my friend to carry on. She gave him 3 slaps for the two he gave her.

Guys were very careful about hitting girls. It was like a taboo.

AmazonTopaz:
Vision101,incase you missed this come back and read it .

Naaah he didn't notice it. He, emmaodet and the others have managed to avoid the chats between you Mstick. They can't deal with the truth. It's not the kind of narrative that massages their egos.

Nothing wrong with sending your older ones errands especially when it's not like you're ordering them around. And a sensible older one should be able to use his/her sense to do some things without being told, instead of crossing legs and having "senior one entitlement mentality".

I remember me and my immediate older sister working while our older sister was home. We would call and make requests and she would help us. We were not even paying rent or doing all that, but because she was free she was really there for us. Though a lot of the financing fell on us that were working. She was priceless and still is; everyone's favourite. She would cook, clean and do what she could. It didn't reduce the respect as our older sister.

When she had to move, everyone in the family felt it. The issue here is that you guy's ego and pride is always your problem and it doesn't help anybody. Instead, it is a very large problem that should be done away with so that everyone can put heads together.

Misplaced dressing.

Those that dress in suits are sitting down in AC morning till night. He is killing himself with heat under the sun.

All the speech on top 1 naira debt. Years of interest and inflation should have been calculated and added to it. What is the value of paying 1naira now please?

The best thing is to have a talk with them together and find out what the problem is. If your sister is staying there, she needs to help out with chores and respect your lady. But you know that young people of today can spend hours just pressing phone and forgetting themselves (that might not be the case).

Also, your fiancee should take her as a younger sister and correct her accordingly and draw her close to her instead of creating animosity between them. Your fiancee is not her mate and should be able to manage her.

And it's not true that ladies don't like to cohabit with each other. The ones who act that way have personal issues.

Just talk with them first and find out the root of the issue and deal with it from there, before it escalates into a full blown problem.