₦airaland Forum

It might not be an insult. But it could be an insensitive statement especially if you don't know what the person is going through in terms of relationships. She can't ask herself out or propose to herself.

temitope27:
That's what happens to most kid when their parents speak English to them without teaching them how to read and write, they taught success is by speaking English

Is it parents that teach children tonread and write? What is school there for? I am sure the guy went through nursery, primary school...etc.

He obviously has a disorder

You and your ex girlfriend are mad

beautyhd:
I was a Daddy's girl while growing up, if I rejected food from momma he will pet me until I get to eat.

One day he travelled and didn't come back that day na so momma vex me and I refused to eat she didn't even bother petting me as I laid down. When hunger finished dealing with me, I stood to go get my food lo and behold it has been eaten by one of my siblings. I hated my mom that day and only reject food when Daddy is around.

I.love your mum

It's like you were spoilt and always rejecting food when angry and your dad was indulging you. Your mum did the right thing.

The wife "discovered " she was pregnant as in the pregnancy jumped on her and it wasn't through unprotected sex with her husband?

They knew they didn't want more kids. What measures did they put in place to avoid it? Instead, they were still having raw sex and hoping the result would be a bag of oranges

The best thing would have been to marry from your church since you are so attached to it. Since that option is out, you have to open your heart to start to like his church, because you should be attending his church with him.

These are the kinds of things you prepare your mind for during courtship. You knew you would have to follow him to his church. So fighting it now is pointless except you enjoy the division.

Support your husband if you love him and find a way to work this chirch issue out.

This girl is no innocent girl as some people try to imagine her to be. It's obvious she has been in this money swindling because but probably hasn't killed anyone until now.

Every day for the thief...

donaldwhal:
Don’t mind him. I have entry level managers in my company who are on N2.5m a month. It is because most people don’t/didn’t start their careers well. That’s why they earn poorly. And also, a lot of employees are afraid of moving leaving one job for another. If not because I have decided I am not working for people in Nigeria again, I would have resumed for a job that pays N15m per annum this last Thursday July 1st 2021. I have gotten similar jobs like that but I am tired of office work generally.
So OP shouldn’t look down on people that earn salaries o. I have ogas that earn up to N80m per annum and they are just Band C directors.

Their mentality is that salary workers are only the majority they see on Nairaland that always complain of earning 35k, 40k, etc.

Because they have one small business that they employ 3 people they pay 12k, they think they have arrived.

The little entrepreneurs on this forum keep criticising salary earners as if their small shops can't be bought by a salary earner. Very silly people.

omolola100:
work is work, we cant just sit at home doing nothing, half bread they say is better than none.

So after you graduate from the university after at least 4years getting a degree, you will take up a job as a cleaner just because half bread is better than none?

Sometimes it is better to sit down at home rather than start a career as a cleaner as a graduate. That is enough to take away someone's confidence and self respect. The person will not believe he/she deserves more.

Skillsnigeria:
Yes I know. Have been doing my own business since 2006, is only unproductive set of people that like salary work. Only a wise person will understand what am saying

Many of those "unproductive set of people" can buy that your business that is shacking you 2 times over.

You think salary workers are those ones you pay 20k or only the people earning 40k? Get off your high horse and realize that not everyone wants to go into business.

Join LinkedIn and follow HR personnel and recruiters.

The girl's mother is the one to blame and she knows it. She's just trying to shift blame. For 26yrs, she couldn't teach her daughter sense and she's blaming someone that just had a few months with the girl.

Why would a young person even want to feel old and be addressed as "mummy wa" "mummy"?

And those young ones will start misbehaving when you call them aunty, brother. Those kinds will come to your house and expect you to serve them.

What happened to our names that it's such an abomination to be called by it? In my husband's family and his extended Yoruba family, I don't even mix up too much for someone to come and start bothering me about mummy, aunty brother nonsense.

There are better and more important things in this life to worry about than unnecessary and unearned respect.

Op figure out how you want to deal with this issue and try to make yourself scarce.

Rozcol:
Society does not shame men in regards to sex but its the other way round for women

You are that society

Are you looking for a wife or for a sponsor? And you think the best time to settle down is when you are jobless, hoping that the woman will be your benefactor.

The person advising you is not well.

Many of them are marrying people that they don't know well. They probably meet via someone or they reconnect with an old friend and then start chatting and video- calling for a while. They both put up their best behaviour till the knot is tied.

I have two friends, one in Canada and one in USA. Both came back to marry guys they reconnected with and the men joined them abroad. Both marriages didn't work out. Unfortunately, both men were more interested in getting papers than the marriage.

Your brother was a big part of his problem. It's obvious that he wasn't careful of his choice of women. And jumping right into another relationship a week after probably with the first woman that showed interest, says a lot about him and his decision making.

There are good people and there a lre bad people. We have to shine our eyes and tread with caution to get the good ones.

cokefanta:
Any interview invite with Reservation code is a red flag for me,
Don't bother yourself please.

And with too detailed description of the address...behind this filling station, under that bridge, inside the corner...

And above all...she's a murderer. She's not the only one affected by the society but she made a choice about the kind of life she wanted and she has to face the consequences.

NafeesaAA:
Where is her Hijab crew would soon flood this thread

But it's true. Where is her hijab? Is the hijab no longer compulsory for Muslim women? Or it is waved for the rich and influential.

MURIC and Hisbah will be silent on this one. But when it comes to Law school, Catholic schools, etc, they will use loud speaker.

Where is the girl?

Is it this woman you are calling girl?

Mindlog:
The intention of this thread by the OP is to scare women into remaining in marriages that is toxic to their overall well-being and probably their children', that it is safer to remain in that cage because out there, they will find it difficult to readjist!

I guess OP never researched on how women whose husbands abandoned them and their kids to start a new life elsewhere have coped. If overwhelming majority of Nigerian widows have after the death of their husband ,on their own raised their children without assistance from her late husband's family, he would have a better understanding that post divorce is not all about darkness for a woman, that is why many forward thinking lawyers who are into marriage and family law refer their female clients to a licensed MFT (Marriage and Family Therapist) for pre-divorce and post-divorce therapy which is intended to disabuse their minds from the traditional views that she is a nobody without the spouse who feels he is not obligated in contributing to make the marriage a healthy one. A woman with a good lawyer who legally divorced properly should be able to secure the obligations the man has towards their children who are products of their union...school fees, healthcare etc and not subject those obligations to his mood swings.

I laughed where OP brought up the changing of light bulbs, that the woman would be helpless! Uncle, you have no idea on how majority of Reverend Sisters do things for themselves, Sisters whey dey slit the necks, roast and butcher goats themselves, pack am for freezer na to change light bulbs go come be rocket science!

God hates divorce, just as He hates the repeated intentional behaviours and actions that leads to divorce, you leave your cooking unattended to and still believe sogged or burnt food is not your portion.

Focus should be on husbands and wives working as a team for a healthy marriage and a conducive family life where the husband, the wife and the children they have been blessed with, can thrive.

You hit the nail of the head. Men just try to use manipulative narratives to keep women enslaved in marriages that they should walk away from.

We keep hearing that women age faster than men, yet women still keep aging and outlive the men.

Their insecurity and need to be in control is so evident in these kind of writeups they come up with. The crazy thing is that many of these guys that have alot to say about marriage/divorce issues are single.

frozen70:
You need to get married then come back to rewrite this
Men too bend to urinate ask the Hausa's
Women too stands to urinate

It's funny how it is single men who just come up with all this nonsense. They don't even know what it means to be joined to someone. They are still thinking in the line of girlfriend.

Most of them will do worse than they say here. They will even lie down and beg. All that pride they carry on their sleeves like a badge will fly out the window when the time comes.

richeeyo:
Date girls you know their origin

"Married men should start praying for a God-fearing side chick".

postmann:
Your attempt at rebuttal at the OP was poor and driven by emotions.

Women stand to lose more in divorce - FACT! Everyone knows that while men age like wine, women age like milk. And except the woman is rich no one hardly wants a committed relationship with a woman divorced with child. Her market value isn't the same. Some may stick around for the money but it doesn't really end well.

As for your point with house helps, friends and family helping. That's a truck load of crap. No one does it like it's his/her own. It's never the same. Your husband standing in for father's day for a colleague --that's unfortunate as it's shameful. You only unwittingly drove the OP's point home.

Women can't raise adolescents and can't really train boys on their own.

While in some cases separation might be the only remedy, divorce should not be encouraged and it's consequences downplayed. A good portion of outlaws in our society today come from broken homes or raised by single parent.

So is it men who raise adolescents and boys well alone? Where do you guys get your facts? Look around you and live in the real world! Women single handedly train children alone successfully. Just like some children turn out badly even under a stable home with both parents, same happens for single parents.

Yes, divorce should not be encouraged, but when it is inevitable, what happens? Both divorced man and woman have equal chances at starting over if they so decide.

What is shameful about standing in for father's day for a close friend's daughter? You sound so judgemental and sanctimonious. Shame indeed.

What you call a truck load of crap is just your opinion. "No one does it like it's their own". So she should go and drag him like a bull by the horn to come and assume his responsibilities.

Live goes on after divorce. And whatever decision each party decides to take in terms of relationships is theirs.

Hathor5:
Well said but they will stick to the narrative that women are helpless without a man so that women tolerate all kinds of nonsense. Even a simple bulb we can't change. Chai!

But a man can start a new family over and over again. Exchanging his children and wife for a new family is as easy as the changing of socks because fathers don't love their children and are not attached to them. They treat their family members as disposable objects. Makes you wonder what kind of a family people who write such things come from.

They are probably from dysfunctional families.

Some men just have this overestimation of themselves that they try to paint a woman's situation as disadvantaged while they claim to have all the odds in their favour.

Divorcees are constantly remarrying; male and female. These guys should learn to deal with the fact that the world doesn't rise and set on their assesss.

Diamondniyi:
This made me remember one woman that gave birth to 15 children aim in finding a male child. Trust me, 14 of them are female while the 15th child later came as male.

Such determination.

A friend of mine is the 10th girl in her family. The 11th child turned out to be a boy.

Yxwqq:
Rather than paying random strangers [whom you have no history with & who would attend just for money], upgrade your friends to attend. You could even get an etiquette coach to demonstrate to them the expectations for the day. I believe they would be excited to participate and would be at their best for you.

If you don't want to do the above, then have a simple wedding with just your two families.

Anyhoo, do whatever makes you happy.

Some people have coconut head, they will never learn

azraeljaheel:
This thing called konji sef....


Preek no get muscle but e get strength to PUSH person do the unthinkable

This one is not konji. It is a mental disorder.

Deerock:
Why focus only on my second paragraph? Don't get me wrong.

There's a big difference between friends and peer group, some friends are like family, so why shouldn't he be helpful to them?

I will forever be grateful to a friend of mine, come rain, come sun. I also have a guy who doesn't joke with me becos of a past event. I believe that's the whole essence of genuine friendship.

(Las las apply wisdom in doing things for some friends )

Apparently the Op doesn't have such true friends from what he has said. Besides, friendship should be reciprocated, and not one side always looking to benefit. There's always something someone can do. That's my belief.

Deerock:
It's a pity that u are not proud of ur friends that may be very proud of u..

Instead of renting fake friends for the paparazzi, why not package and invest in ur friends..

Or better still wake up from ur dream and have a very private wedding.

Why can't the friends invest in themselves or their family invest in them? Some friends enjoy being leeches; they just like to eat from someone else. As people grow, some friends should be cut off.

Should be..Daughter, wife, mother, sister
Or

Wife, daughter, mother, sister