₦airaland Forum

wunmi590:


You are just a pussy nigga...

You better don't let woman separate you and your family....

But if this same girlfriend wear your clothes, you will be laughing like a SIMPSON

Your girlfriend can leave you at any giving time, but your family will never.....

Blood is thicker than water

You guys are not objective in your comments. A younger brother that doesn't respect his brother's things. He even has the guts to wear something the brother hasn't worn before.

And yes, if as a girlfriend, I buy my man a gift and the first person to launch it is his brother, I will feel offended. If the younger brother lacks the respect and wisdom, his older brother needs to tell him.

Truth be told, your brother doesn't have any respect for you at all. For him to even wear a new shirt that you haven't worn before is taking it too far.

I used to hide and wear my sisters' clothes. But fear would catch me to wear the one she hadn't worn before and something her man bought her for that matter.

Your brother lacks discretion and you allowed it.

PissfulProtester:
Cos say I broke, make I no get erection again?

Come padlock my prick na..

Nonsense

It seems you are aspiring to be a broke parent.

Joel3:
because I want to prove to people what I know.

Good luck with that.

Joel3:
yes. It's a scam.

So why are you giving so much attention to it and bothering your head about it?

wunmi590:
You are actually right in point...

Just saying that, incase the OP sees an opportunity for them that can benefit them, just to put them off his neck, it won't be bad at all....

He should reduce their access to his house. Make food and all the things that attracts them unavailable for a while. Tell them to buy what they need. Before long, they will move to the next mugu.

mariahAngel:
You're becoming more reasonable with each passing day.

You too have noticed.

Maturity is setting in.

*runs away

Joel3:
marriage doesn't favor men in anyway.

Then don't get married especially if you cannot find a woman that will submit her salary to you. No one has said marriage is compulsory.

There's the option of staying celibate, becoming a priest/monk, having a baby mama, etc. Just let your parents/family understand how you feel about marriage and hopefully they will support you. Marriage is not by force.

wunmi590:


The only possible way you can help them is to help them find something doing...

Tines are heard, alot of people are struggling to feed these days, is not thier fault, if they have means, they won't be in your place to eat...

Me as a person, I don't even know how to visit people talk more of going there to eat....

But believe me, if you have means of helping them where they can also be getting small monthly stipends, it won't be bad....

Please never use the present condition to condemn them, you can just find a way to tell them you are broke presently and you are managing your foodstuff too...

He's not obligated to get them something to do. They also need to get responsible and look for something for themselves. If they are getting spoon-fed and someone is the one going to look for work for them, they won't value it as much as if they go and help themselves.

If the op has contacts to help them, he can link them. But they are not his responsibility to find them something doing.

Besides, as someone pointed out, they might even have more money than the op but just like to be leeaches.

GOFRONT:
If you come kukuma get girlfriend like Onyitutu, your own don finish be that.

Lol...that's how my friend suffered o. She started dating a guy who was like the op. When they even going out on a date, the guys will follow especially one of them.

By the time he saw that he was losing his girl, he had to start sanitizing his house and sent them packing because some were living with him. The guys didn't like the babe because she came to spoil their show...lol.

CharisEleos:
If God has put you in a position to help and be the giver, continue and don't be weary in doing good because in it God will continue to bless you and make you the giver and not the begger. Or would prefer you switched positions with them? God forbid!

What I'll advise you though is that you should give within your means in order not to get burnt in a bid to try to satisfy everyone.

If what you can afford conveniently in a month is stocking up only once. Do. Then if they finish it, and you can't go on again, don't stress. When they see that supply has dropped, they'll understand and adjust.

It's good to give but better to do so with a cheerful heart. Once it's no longer cheerfully done, then it's not worth it. It's time to resize and adjust where necessary but don't stop giving totally.

The Lord is your strength.

Even giving should be done with wisdom. These are not people that genuinely need help to put their lives on track but just like to live off someone and doing it very well.

If the food stuffs finish, won't he eat. He would need to restock and eat. Money that should be saved for projects and future plans is being exhausted on free loaders.

Some giving doesn't bring rewards. It's like pouring water into a basket.

I don't think it's right allowing a friend move in to your house as a married man in the first place. It's better to avoid some situations in the first place.

Everyone has what they are looking for in a wife. Yours is a woman who will submit her salary to you. It's possible to find such a woman. So keep looking.

But from the look of things, money will be a major issue in your marriage because you seem so money conscious; complaining about bride price, leaving properties you bought with your money, money for upkeep.

Money, money, money. You even complained about your mum benefiting from your late dad's property even if she's your ideal kind of woman who always submitted her salary to your dad. So, that salary you want to be collecting won't satisfy you.

Since that is who you are, you should be fine. But I can't say the same about the unfortunate woman that will find herself in such circumstance.

Joel3:
reason I never interested in women afterall.

So you are only interested in the money.

ibechris:
I am still thinking if u copied this just to see how people will react then let me be blunt to u.

Without mincing words,ur mum's time can't be compared with our time,this is because the world have moved away from that slavish wife mentality to a more conscious wife mentality. If u expect any woman to come and submit her sweat to u by merely demanding for it,then u are a thief.

Note: many women are eager and ready to help their husbands to build their homes,but if u make it compulsory and citing ur mum who did it in the olden days,then u are out of ur mind to think that a woman of this age should enslaved her self just for ur greed and individual appetite.

Better go and marry ur sister to avoid trouble.

Especially in this age where the guys are not as responsible and family oriented like our fathers and grandfathers. They will see it as extra money to flex, drink and womanize.

Why the hurry from your sister? And you said you are still waiting to be mobilized for NYSC. Why not wait to know where you will be posted first?

About your options, a room self con is ok for now.

Taejimin:
I don't think the poster understands the meaning of the word perk/s.

Obviously. And the mods moved it to front page.

lexy2014:
My dear, even me I confuse. Maybe d meaning of perks has changed

I was actually reading through looking for the perks

So what's her plan? To spring it on him after the wedding since she has hooked him? Or she will just keep silent and act like God is yet to give them a child and He will do so in due time? Then the man will keep trying to no avail, thinking he is sowing his seed into a fertile ground.

She should just count her loss if she had to wait till the week before to tell him.

Lostchild:
Thank you for responding.

I love to ask questions out of curiosity to know more about all phase of life. Many who saw this thread may think I am women haters which is not true. I am a humanitarian by nature and recently I came in contact with an elderly woman who was somehow emotionally being abandoned despite the fact that she has male children. This left me totaly confused and I wanted to know more about this through other's, their experience.

I m still learning more as learning experience bring changes of mind.

Thank You

It's important to train up your children well with a mixture of love and discipline and sacrifice for them to get well trained/educated. Many parents fall back on their children during their old age, and they meet what they brought up.

I would have said parents should save and prepare financially for their old age to avoid total dependenceon their children, but not everyone is that lucky especially in this country.

About the males, some might be overwhelmed with the responsibility of their own wives and children, while some still make out something to care for their parents. All in all, the heart of the child towards his/her parents matters.

I had this discussion with my friend who has 2 boys. She said she wanted a 3rd boy because guys take care of their mums. I asked her that amongst she and her siblings, who goes to visit the mum often and always has her in mind (her dad is late). Guess what! Her mindset changed immediately.

Even between my siblings, when my parents were alive, it was the females that would visit more and sit with them for hours, call them, etc.

Male/female are both important. And they both have their strengths in various aspects

How are these perks?

VeeVeeMyLuv:
To answer your question,

It is bcoz almost everything about the country is severely disjointed and catastrophic disaster.

Imagine your country's economy being driven with the kynesian economic model. See 40% unemployment rate.

Okay even to go to the farm in the villages in absence of gainful employment is a serious battle and in some cases nearly impossible due to high level of insecurity that has never been witnessed before.

Now Yahoo boys, drug dealers, ritual killers, thugs, terrorists, kidnappers, prostitute have joined the eligible list for marriage.

Nowadays if you bring honest hard working civil servant and a Yahoo boy before a girl/young lady/young woman she will most likely pick the Yahoo boy. That is the level to which our society have somersaulted.

True. And if you put a cleavage exposing big boobs/bumbum girl dressed skimpy and seductively and place side by side with a decent looking simply dressed, covered from head to toe, a lot of guys will go for the boobs.

cococandy:
@bold, All new moms have done this. Even with help.
I don’t know how to articulate the exhaustion. The other day I was comforting my friend over the phone for the same issue.

I think what makes it worse is that as the new mom, you’re not assuming the role from a place of perfect health and fitness. Rather you’ve been pregnant for nine months and didn’t have time to recover your strength before jumping into the role of new mom. It’s just a culmination of the months of prenatal sickness, tiredness and even lack of sleep during the later months of pregnancy.

That's why it's important to have someone around to help if it's possible. For me, I plan to go stay with my eldest sister when I am having my second because the first wasn't easy even with the people I had around who I thought would help.

Help is really important so that the new mum can rest and sleep too.

saddeeqrunka:
Do you even have any idea how girls Celebrate Eid? There's no way Eid celebration will come and girls will not beautify themselves.

Not minors, that know they will go back to school. I have stayed with muslims; hausas, fulanis and I currently have muslims as neighbours. I have not noticed henna on the girls, when it's not like it's compulsory; something they must do.

Eid can be celebrated without it.

saddeeqrunka:
Have you asked her if she did this intentionally?

So it was under duress? The person doing the henna came to her house and forced it on her i guess.

saddeeqrunka:
Don't bring religion into this talk, I'm not saying she have the right to go to school with henna. All I'm trying to say is that, how many times have they caught this particular girl or any other girl with henna? Is it twice, thrice or how many times?

And if you can remember i said if they see it as an offense, they can punish the girl by letting her stay out of school untill the henna fades or totally vanished. Because there is no way she can clean it without hurting herself

They don't have to catch her many times. A lot of these young ones like to break the rules maybe just to show off to their friends or for whatever reason.

In school then, some girls would relax their hair during breaks and come back to school and most times, the school would cut their hair. Their parents that know the rules, help them break it and now come to fight.

I think these secondary school students are being too wayward these days and it needs to be curbed.

philfrey08:
When you dey comment, think about if the guy is your brother. No just de mis yarn

That's why I said earlier that if they are not the same page, he should start re-considering.

And if my brother is in anyway acting like a mummy's boy, he would have been cleared. Besides, my mum was never the type to interfere. She preferred you make your decision so that you can live with it.

philfrey08:
You just de talk yama yama...
What if the guy’s father gave the advice/suggestions?
Suggestion don turn manipulation.
Abeg if the girl cant go by that, get your own beother to marry her

Why una like wahala?

It's not yama yama talk. It's based on experience. Marriage should be threaded with care. It is not simply an extension of bf/gf relationship. Decisions should be between the couple and they should know how they present outside suggestions.

saddeeqrunka:
I guess they should forgive her then, she didn't do it intentionally. It's just for the celebration of Eid

Are you saying this because you are a Muslim or because she is right to go to school with henna? At how old? Didn't she know she was going back to school and writing exams?

Please let's be objective in our discussions. She's still a minor and still needs supervision.

brownemmanuel43:
Well I'm still not surprised that a woman is replying me and sounding this way.
The said lady is not bringing anything, every godamn thing is on the guy man yet she is feeling on top of the moon
Well na SIMPs that tolerates such rubbish and nonsense from girls like that not my type

Didn't he know she wasn't bringing anything before? Why didn't he date her knowing she's not bringing anything? Why is it an issue now?

brownemmanuel43:
Op no follow this advice ohhhhh, op gat nothing to prove to the lady, do u know what sacrifice the mum made on op, abeg waiting women know self

Since she made sacrifices, he should marry her abi. Didn't the lady's mother also make sacrifices for her? We don't see ladies always shouting about the sacrifices their mothers made because they are women and know manipulation when they see it. It's easier for the mothers to use this narrative and manipulate their sons.