₦airaland Forum

ojesymsym:
Only mistake I think you made was telling her it was your mom that suggested it. One thing you will learn in marriage is that you have to own decisions no matter where you get the idea from.

Even you will be irritated with her ... "my mummy said... my mummy said", it makes that party look immature enough to make their own decision.

Next time, make it look as if it is your own idea, then you will not be entering marriage by already declaring a war between daughter and mother in law. We know say they go still fight for future but don't be the one to declare the war when ordinary wisdom could have solved it.

However, u have to still stand your ground because even 2M is too much to spend on a wedding if you do not have at least 50% of that in savings post wedding ceremony.

Exactly what I was trying to point out. He's already showing that the marriage will be filled "mummy said", "mummy thinks".

philfrey08:
Between him and the lady?

Is she bringing money?

Smh

Just look at your last paragraph “Though we asked for advice along the way”

What do you think he did?

Where do you think the suggestions came from?

Haba!

If he wanted someone that is bringing money, why is he with her? Why is it now that it matters that she's not bringing money. So if she's the one bringing most of the money, can she also plan the wedding on her own without his imput? Money is always a determining factor for most of the guys here.

Suggestions are allowed. The op should be able to communicate the suggestion in a more discreet way and not in a way that suggests that he's a mummy's boy or that his mum's decisions will always override theirs.

kennyamusan:
if you understand sacarsm , you should know better

Ahhh...your sarcasm has sarcasm.

Annoms:
I'll try to make this short.

Yesterday I was having a conversation with my fiancée about my mum's suggestion about how to go about our wedding which is scheduled to take place Jan next year. My mum suggested that we do both trad and white wedding on the same day to cut cost. She opined that we do the white wedding in the morning and hold the traditional marriage as a reception in the afternoon. I pretty much see reasons from her perspective considering the harsh economic condition in Nigeria.

I was relating this to my fiancée yesterday in a phone call, when she flared up and said I should have consulted her to seek her opinion on this marriage arrangement before going to my family to seek theirs because I said my mum's advise seems okay.

What I deduce from her plight was that she wants the trad marriage at the village (south-east) while the white at the town where we base (South-West). That was what I initially wanted but due to high inflation in the land, I'm actually tilting towards my mum advise because I can't go bankruptcy just because I want to satisfy her. Why not use a stone to kill two birds?

She wants a cream-de-la-cream kind of wedding but she's not ready to assist financially to make that happen. (she's an awaiting corper)

I told her that the cost of transportation and lodging people from the village (hers and mine) to the city for our white marriage alone is gulping about 500/600k. That's transportation & lodging alone ooo.. I'll now spend if not x2 of what I spent on trad for white.. Why not just do everything in the village and move on with our lives? We can actually have it in the village and it will still be all nice and glamourous.

She said she wants to have a say in how her marriage will look like. Her imput is welcomed. But if she still insist on having the white wedding and not putting finances into consideration. I'm thinking that she want the white wedding on the city because of her friends who will attend which is not enough reason to go bankruptcy for.

It was a heated argument yesterday. We both went to bed angrily and not in talking terms till now

Pls advice accordingly. Thanks

Leave your mum out of this. The wedding is between you and your fiancée. So you guys have to discuss it and come to an agreement together. When you get married, this is how you will decide together on things. Or do you intend to always ask your mother's opinion Your mum can chip in her advice but it cannot superceed those getting married.

And if both of you are not on the same page; if you are seeing red flags from her behaviour, take the right steps now.

When I got married, my husband and I made the decisions together, not family members. Though we asked for advice along the way. Even my FIL would always say "it's your day. Do it as it pleases you".

[quote author= post=101823165]@OP, most Naija men don’t have that type of good attitude you've got..
So when they are confronted with cheating,
they minimize, rationalize, and justify their behavior with statements like:

Every guy wants to have sex with other women. And when the opportunity arises, he takes it.

It’s a man’s biological imperative to have sex with as many women as he can. Why should I be any different?

If I got enough (or better) sex at home, I wouldn’t need to cheat.

I’m not doing anything that most of my friends don’t do. If you don’t believe me, ask them.

If my wife hadn’t gained so much weight—or if she was nicer to me, or more attentive—I wouldn’t have even thought about going elsewhere.

Who would call getting a lap dance in a strip club cheating? It’s just what guys do for fun.


I’m only sexting and flirting. Where’s the harm in that? I don’t meet up with any of these women in person. It’s just a game.

[/b][/quote]Or they say it's only simps that stick to one woman.

Amuochicha:
I HATE MEN

This is a childish and ignorant statement.

kennyamusan:
how are we sure she is 6 years old , looking s her , she could be sixteen , they just want to tarnish the image of the person that raped her , they might even be trying to use her as a bait ............ May her soul rest in peace

Thomas sorry o. You can go and ask for her birth certificate to confirm. Tarnish image indeed. Does the person have image?

DriftOff:
Two what?! that's a double punishment!
Well, they have matured bodies. I was around primary 4 when I did mine.
Our bodies weren't yet matured then, otherwise my own for don finish be that.

I think they were both in jss 2 sef. When they asked them, they said they were just playing in the bathroom. The little girl became a mother of twins at that young age, with such responsibility.

Chai! 10 yrs old. That's how a neighbour's niece in Jss3 was fooling around with her class mate in the bathroom. That innocent play resulted into twins

shoprite:
My condolences to the family of the deceased . . .the law will take its course on her husband's action . . .but who keeps money at home in a box in the 21st Century?

I do

MuyiBinary:
Most men i have seen this happened to,were gainfully employed before and after marriage but, things turn around and the men suddenly become dependent on their wives. The wives turns the home upside down...it only takes different length of time.

If you lose your job as a husband today, NEVER expect the peace in your home will be sustained. It's just a matter of time...depending on the tolerance threshold of your wive, the cookie will crumble sooner than expected.

You fail to add that some of these men tormented their wives with their money. Men also use their money as a tool of control over their jobless wives. But you men see that as normal since he is the breadwinner/head of the family. He is the man.

When the table turns and the man's ego cannot take the wife being the breadwinner, everyone starts to shout that it's because he doesn't have a job anymore. How did he treat her when she didn't have a job?

dazzlingd:
Dont judge listening to one side of a story...
Be wise

Na dem

dominique:
Let's calm down and hear his side of the story abi how una dey take talk am.

Abi o. Let's hear his side of the story as the man is always right. Where is crackhaus?

chatinent:
you never born?

Plus I wasn't pressed with hot water after birth.

Arizoner:
what were your major cravings after birth.

Cold water

chatinent:
you never born?

I don born o. I was warned not to scratch my belly because it used to itch so much. I resisted scratching all through. I didn't have any stretch marks.

Zeeknow3245:
This is the trash God forsaken course that is useless abi? We even Employ Lab scientist like so carry your pain to another thread
These pictures will further shut your stupid mouth

So what is your business with Medicine and other medical courses when veterinary medicine is this prestigious and lucrative in Nigeria.

Face your animals and rest. At least, even start the course and finish instead of pulling out your research to hype the course. I don't even get the reason for your rant. But your insecurity inferiority complex is obvious in the way you are going about it.

It seems like you are trying to motivate yourself with all these arguments and facts to study the course that you are not excited about.

donbachi:
Then comes the pressing of very very hot water on the woman's belle by mother..which will wrinkle the belle.

Is that what wrinkles the belly? I thought it was the stretching of the tummy during pregnancy and the scratching of the tummy.

Tinyemeka:
An absolutely stupid post.

Someone is lost in an unfamiliar city and you ask the person to find his/her way to so and so.

Why was the person lost in the first place?

Except you dropped out of the sky or tumbled out of a kidnap vehicle, you must have had a general idea of how you'd gotten to your current location.

Look around for a shop, buy something small and cheap to establish a kind of connection with the vendor, then make general enquiries on how to get to where you wish to go.

In the end, you contradicted yourself. The general enquiries you make after you buy something cheap is it not to ask someone still?

NewDawn2O21:
coming from a married Lady.
these ladies cheat even in marriage cos a married woman isn't supposed to enter this thread in the first place
tufiakwa

Your mindset is so narrow. Widen it a bit to accommodate more sense and intelligence.

Temigirl95:
God bless u!!! Say ur intentions... let me pay for my food and carry your bad luck self away. I should exchange my body because u bought food? Because I never chop gor my life b4?

It's the girls that act like food is their problem that I blame.

bigpicture001:
Babe it's hard to believe though but am not the pro sex kinda guy.... Sex makes me fall in love hence I delay it for months before I can get indulged... In my relationships, ladies wonder if am normal, cuz I don't go to sex for at least 3months to 5months...

So am not worried about the sex life.. Am only concerned about the "you can't dominate me attitude as it appears to be now...

Anything you do for this lady she will stylishly do back. A guy wants to know he is on top of his girl.. Not having the feeling your in an open relationship where she walks away anyway and truly justifies she owes you nothing

You should speak to her about it and ask her why she acts the way she does. You might get to understand better and be on the same page.

Why will a wife take that nonsense? Cooking for his mistress and preparing the bed for them. Have some dignity.

Keanu Reeves has always been my crush and the younger version of Al Pacino and Andy Garcia.

You know a lot of Nigerian guys have the mentality that when they spend on a girl, she has to pay back with sex. If sex is not involved already, maybe she doesn't want you to feel entitled to her body because you are spending on her.

Yusufisraelj:
Simple, this OP is just yarning dust. Nothing is free in life. There should be give aways in life but when sponsored by a foundation either friendship or love.

You expect someone to take you out just like that. Lols, OP is not leaving on earth.

It doesn't mean that if a guy takes me out and spends, sex must follow. I didn't beg him to take me out in the first place. But if I know that is his intention, I would rather pay for my food.

For me then, if a guy gives me a gift or spends on me, I ask him there and then what I am paying back with. Let's know where we stand.

Romanoff:
Rotfl.

The city girl you know is better than the village girl you don't.

This albino guy around my former house that inherited a school from his late brother brought in this mgbeke girl from the village as a wife. They are from the East.

This girl started mixing with hairdressers and nail technicians.

Before we know, she start to dey bleach, later she add karashika claws to her nails, then lashes like broom, then face beat like she works for House of Tara.

Not long enough, Albino start to cry say Im wife no dey sleep for house again.

Last time I saw the wife, na when she greet me I know say na her.

I shock.

When they want to spoil, they spoil finish and do more than the ones that have been in the city before them.

Ordinary househelp that my cousin brought from the village started bleaching. Meanwhile her madam wey dem born for Lagos neva bleach before.

Psych412:
This is a very serious issue. Spending on a lady doesn't give you the right to ask her for sex. This needs to stop. Taking a girl out for a date doesn't have to be sex in return.


Please let's try to be responsible

Me that will ask to split the bill. Let no one feel entitled to my body because they spent money on food.

Peppermintflav:
I agree with you. Example: (Winning)... I don't know why the judges allowed that guy till the last stage. Don't you know that he took someone's position. A better singer would have had a chance, but no, the judges were just favouring the guy....
Mtchewww

The judges do not deserve that position. Meanwhile, someone here is saying that I am bias. He's not thinking about the better singers losing out because of their bad judging tactics.

jawalis:
You can relate. It’s damn frustrating.

I married a first son so I understand. I had said i wasn't going to marry a first son/first child/only son but love took over.

taiyesoul:
...and they could not renew Ighalo's contract. He's a black man lest i forget

Can you compare Ighalo's performance with Cavani's? We just like to use colour to cover the truth. What has being black got to do here?

Hohenheim:
Anyone knows why they removed the idols extra channel?

Because it's crap.