₦airaland Forum

Takeproft:
I don't like marriage and i hate to have kids but my reasons are not like yours. I have issues with your reasons of not wanting to marry and have kids. Sounds like fear of responsibility. When I was younger, I used to say I'll never marry nor have kids unless I've made lots of investment and businesses having my houses and cars not just liquid cash. I mean I'll marry only when I'm wealthy and rich. But with time, the idea of marriage and having babies start becoming less appealing even when I know I'm on the right part to becoming rich. I just feel like this world is an unfair place. Very harsh and ruthless to so many people. Why would I bring someone into this lion-kill-lamb kind of world? It breaks my heart to see people suffer and I happen to be someone that has access to some information people don't have. Seeing things happening in this world makes me scared to bring someone to this word no matter how much money I have to secure his future

And it breaks my heart most that majority of people marry for selfish reasons. Most of them things that don't even make sense like who to answer their name and keep their lineage going as if the dead knows if their name is still being answered or not.

I dey tells you. They would warn you about loneliness, they will tell you that your family name will die out if you don't marry. How do you expect a dead man to know that his name is still surviving from the grave?

Lemme just state my observation: Some people are very needy, and they expect everyone to be like them. They would wonder if you're an alien if you tell them that you don't really value companionship. Some other people...they marry because others are marrying. Ask them how marriage benefits them and their purpose in life and see them staring you like goats. The only people I understand their view are the ladies...they are by default needy and sex-maniac, and marriage affords them the opportunity to satisfy these desires. It's better you tell a woman that you killed someone than you tell her you won't marry in your lifetime. It's as if you are teasing her with her only purpose and fulfillment in life.

N.B: The last sentence does not apply to all ladies though.

MrBrownJay1:
sadly i have no sister.



and how is that in anyway related to having a mate/partner in life?!



again, where did i write that a woman is needed to achieve your dreams?!? don t misquote me pls...i said having a "GOOD" woman by your side makes life BETTER/HAPPIER. actually, the important question to ask her, would be: why would you think that a good woman would be WRONG for your life?!

I've not even told you that I don't want a mate. Of course I do. But it is not a need for me. My life is happy already. The lady is just a bonus.

But I know you'd still quote me out of context because you are looking for a suitor for who knows. I won't be surprised if you are a pastor in Shiloh trying to match-make the guys here with the spinsters in your congregation.

Abeg let's agree to disagree. If woman na your problem, no be another person palaver. My problem must not be the same as yours.

MrBrownJay1:
[img]https://media1./images/ea9b58d45ac18b744c1380acdb7fc3a0/tenor.gif[/img]

clap for yourself bro....now, let me ask: are you saying that you cant follow/chase your dreams while having a good woman by your side?!? are you thinking that having a good woman by your side will hinder you to achieve your dreams?
you are definitely a comedian.....

btw: if the only value you put upon a woman is being a "pleasure hole" then no wonder you dont need any woman in your life (whether good or bad). i suggest you FIRST put value on women.... not the good for nothing liabilities that are out there by the boatload, but a GOOD/SMART/TRUSTWORTHY/RESPECTFUL/CLASSY/UNDERSTANDING etc one.

It's either your sermon is right, but you're preaching to the wrong person, or your sermon is wrong and you're preaching to the right person. By the way, who gave you this obligation...is your sister unmarried and you are subtly looking for a life-partner for her here?

In fact, you are a comedian too. I have come to this point in life, and I came here without the substantial aid of a woman(Apart from my mom, and no offense to my dad). I am my own strength and motivation...what my girls can offer are just bonus. Because within me, I want to win. I want to impress myself.

And finally, stop cajoling women indirectly while thinking you are supporting their case. A woman is a full-fledged human being, with dreams, goals and aspirations, just like a man. You should stop making it seem like all the woman is sent on earth to do is to help a man achieve his dreams. She should be spending her prime pursuing hers too. In fact, if any of my sisters have this 'helper' mentality, and I'd dissuade my parents from paying their school fees, since they are not learning anything that would benefit themselves or the family. Instead of wasting huge amount of money on their education, it's better they are sold out asap in the name of marriage to any man who intends to take them into his house. Let them go there and start helping, since say na help dey come this world to do.

MrBrownJay1:
bro, now you misunderstand me....of course, you must FIRST be happy alone to remotely make anyone around you happy.... but that doesnt mean that because you are happy on your own, you should stay that way. again, alone a man can be HAPPY, with the right mate, that same man will become HAPPIER than he can ever make himself be (aka the best version of himself).

what you write is as crazy as saying that, because i can drive a car with my feet, thats what i should do, duh! yes, anyone can be happy by themselves, but its best to have someone by yourside to SHARE that happiness, SHARE the good and bad, SHARE life and have someone RIGHT by your side (important word here is "right".

the fact that you dont understand that having a good woman by your side is bettER, says a lot about your state of mind....and I should be asking the question: what happened to you, bro?!

You're still exhibiting a needy attitude in your write-up and trying very hard to impart that nonsense into me. And forget about the red-pill bullsh!t. I am naturally like this- a narcissist and a go-getter. I love myself better than anyone, even my own mum. So other people don't mean much to me sometimes. I was born this way. And it still doesn't mean that I don't have f##k buddies(females, before you start thinking that I'm gay). It's just that I take myself and my interests more serious.

So, in answer to your question "What happened to you".... nothing happened actually. I was born like this. I'm a good man, but a narcissist to a narcissist at the same time, be you man or woman. If the world revolves around anyone, it should be me. Lolz.

Maybe I might start to think like you later in life. But for now, I have dreams to chase. I have a Forbes list I want to make. I want to be the 'Godfather'. And these are things that are "chasable", not a human being with a pleasure-hole that is owned by every other of her kind. P##sy can never be in scarcity, but your dreams can never come through if you don't follow them up.

MrBrownJay1:
bro again, you should NEVER give up on women, unless you are ready to turn gay. it has been confirmed TIMEs and TIMES again that you are better off with having a mate by your side to share life, share issues, share worries, share the good AND bad, the beautiful AND the ugly.... because if not, then you take over everything, and this will bring more stress/worries etc

if you have NOBODY to openly talk to after a long stressful day, nobody to "open up" to and let you emotions out (aka clear your mind), nobody to enjoy the good life with (but useless ashewos and goldiggers) then guess what? you are simply on a lost cause, and no wonder so many Nigerian men are bitter miserable in life. a "good" woman by your side is your support system, your sanity... we ALL do need one (even though many of you will be quick to act like tough guys outside).

why be on e your own when you could share your happiness with a proper woman? so you are going to be happy by yourself? just look at the ceiling and be happy? so you dont want to share this happiness with someone you LOVE/CARE for?! someone with whom you can relate and be "one" (unmarried o)? someone who will bare you beautiful kids, and have a family?!?

how many fancy clothes, gadgets, cars AND homes you think you need before you realise that you are just lonely without a good woman by your side?!?

Bros, your logic is flawed ab initio. True happiness comes from within. If you don't know this, then your self-esteem must be incredibly low, and you must be very needy.

I'm not even sure that it is the same God that created both of us.

dumininu01:
yh so true bro.. He's Colombia best player in this world cup so far,very good with d ball.. m surprised he plays for river plate..he should be in a better club buh with Rodriguez dey wuld hv troubled England defense more..

You're good with the observation

dumininu01:
he will add creativity to the midfield bro.. Nobody in dah England or Colombia team is as creative as james...who saw his assist against Poland.. Top class

James is a quite popular playmaker, but did you even notice Quintero? His every move reminds me of Messi.

I don't like to flow with hype. I like to watch the players myself. And with what I saw yesterday, Quintero seems better

Na men dey insult themselves. I no dey ever blame ladies when it comes to this kind of things. Women need men more than men need women. If you don't know, you don't know.

I get girl wey dey call like mad. If I post call duration here, you go mad. 10 minutes na better brief call. Occasionally we do talk for 1 hour(ask me wetin we dey talk, I no go fit give you better answer). And this happens like thrice everyday. My ears don even weak for the kind girl calls sef. At a time I come dey wonder whether she dey work for Mtn office.

Now imagine if na money na im I need for her. E no hard to obtain at all. But I no be person wey dey take undue advantage of person. Say person like me no mean say I go use im head. And na better fine girl wey sabi cook, come gather womanly stuffs wella.

In conclusion, girl wey don like you don like you. Girl wey no go like you no go like you, if you like make you kill yourself for her. She go still attend your burial with another guy sef. I dey even wonder wetin dey worry guys sef. If girl give me condition, me sef go give am condition. Sheeey na conditional love you want? And don't even think that my condition will be the p##$y. The girl didn't drill it herself, so I don't consider it as a big deal. I'd tender a harsher condition that would make you sweat blood.

Blood of Jesus!!!...was on my lips the whole time I read this. Chai...you don loose pass person wey Bet9ja hold captive. Lost Dad, lost land, lost money, lost degree. Kukuma kill me.

This pain is so unbearable that the girl is not the only person that should die. If her family still dey, dem suppose join her in the grave, including her dissenting brother. Guy, as I dey here sef, I wan commit suicide for your matter. Kai Minini.

But on a more serious note, you brought this upon yourself. You live for girls. You depend on people for happiness. Abeg how many girls you date sef? Are you mad? If to say I no see where you talk say you wan travel go Canada for job eh, I for talk say you dey absolutely unambitious.

And don't go about preaching against women. I'm an only son, and I have just sisters as siblings. They are my pillars and helpers in the meantime till I get a brother. And I have a mother who have always had my Dad's back. Blame yourself for the way you operate with women, and the kind of ladies you attract. Even if 9 out of every 10 ladies is a leech and a destiny-shatterer, I will still attract good ladies. No be mouth. Bad woman no get mind near me.

Imagine the atmosphere of little or no trust. I'm not supposed to check my partner's phone...because I will find what exactly?

How then do you expect me in this world to take someone I can't trust serious

Nbote:
Some of Una no even read d post... Dey decided to swap and wear different jersey numbers during their training becos their opponents(Sweden) were coming to spy on dem before their game today.. Dey decided to do so since dey all look alike and it will help conceal which player plays where

And their faces all look alike. Genghis Khan eh

LordAdamX:
Story of my life.

I actually EXPECT people to be douchebags, including family members, so I ain't surprised when they act it out. Seen enough sh*t to know people are no different from wild animals. Makes life relatively easier.

-Lord

Yea. Everyone is a wild animal. Just make sure, for your good, that you are the ultimate predator

poseidon12:
Companionship, according to the good book, the Bible. The Westerners that brought us Christianity understand that, but Nigerians don't seem to. That is why everyone around will start counting for you as soon you get married. If by the second year and still no pregnancy, the typical Nigerian dude and his mom will start considering their options which might include leaving the marriage.
Since you were asking, I guess you fall into this category of Nigerians.

Before you start alleging/guessing what you are not sure of, Lemme ask you. The Westerners who brought marriage to you...how stable and okay is their marriage institution right now?

As for companionship, a PS4 would fill that void for me. Everybody does not live for pu#$y.

poseidon12:
It was the man that started the selfishness. I guess the lady was paying him back. Most Nigerians still don't understand what marriage is about. To the average Nigerian, it's all about procreation. But it's supposed to be more than that.

So what is marriage about?

When I see people whine and rant over what they perceive as injustice and breach of trust, I just laugh like say I drink one full jar of laughing gas.

The thing is, when dealing with people, expect the worst while praying for the best. This has nothing to do with pessimism. It is more like cautiousness and guardedness. When I see a lion, I know it should charge and attack me. Maybe, it might not. A snake should bite me if it sense that I'm danger once it notice me. But then, it might crawl away if it feels I'm not worth its venom.

And it is the same with men. They may love you, they may hate you. They may be loyal, they might disappoint you. But then, whatever the feelings of all these creatures towards you, your readiness to preserve and protect yourself is very paramount. This is exactly the foundation of self-love. I'm not expected to leave myself at the mercy of the lion, the snake or the disappointing man. And this is why a reasonable man would fortify himself emotionally, physically, psychologically and in every other necessary aspect. He does not abandon himself at the mercy of others.

It is this mentality that has helped me throughout life. I don't expect much from people. But I won't let them disappoint me. I would rather disappoint the whole world than let the whole world disappoint me.

onehouse:
First, I consider this as a myopic way of thinking about life and marriage.

As humans, we tend to want to have everything we can grab while alive but the truth is that no one gets out with a pin. Even in the grave, all these are being consume by ants and what have you.

On the other hand, I recall a story I read on motherhoodInStyle, the wife of this man has always pleaded to have registry wedding even after two kids. In the man in question refuses to give in cause he felt the mother of his two kids was after his properties.

Well, as God would have it, she go a job transfer to the US and she needed to relocate there permanently as well with her family - all expense paid. Friends, come and see how this man is begging to go do the registry wedding he once stood against for many years. Of course, it was obvious that the change in attitude was because of his needs to relocate to the US with his family and due to the poor state of his business.


In all, the lady in question has refuse to go to the registry with him and even the lady's father stood by her daughter on this. This simply explains the need to live life as easy as it comes without complicating life with the affection or need to acquire properties thus damaging precious gift of life such as good relationship with those in our lives.

So, from your story, the lady refused exactly because the man is going to benefit? So why shouldn't the man refuse when he sensed that it's to the lady's benefit?

There is no positive moral in this example. You even preached selfishness without knowing it

I doubt if every one who comments here watched the Argentina-Iceland game. Messi's low point in that game was only that missed penalty, and one or two times when he was harried and dispossessed. Other than that, he absolutely dominated the game. Anytime he had the ball, there was always that sense of expectancy. Every other player kicked the ball for kicking sake(if you can look beyond the two goals scored).

Anyone who have ever played a competitive match/tournament before knows that it is very difficult, if not impossible, to see 1 player out of the normal 22 that can participate in a football game, dominate regularly and with ease. Iceland as a whole had to pack the bus in order for him not to cause damage, and while they succeeded at that, Messi still had a decent display(minus the missed pk). He was the one pulling the playmaking strings, as well as the one skipping challenges and firing at the Icelandic goal.

Goals are important, that is sure. But then that is not the only facet of football. It is this understanding that makes Messi the consummate attacker. Of course his stats in every attacking department in La Liga speaks for itself. It is also what makes Messi, in my opinion, better than Ronaldo. Ronaldo's goals are what makes him feared and relevant. On his off days when he doesn't score, check his contribution- he would be totally anonymous. The Champions League final is a good example of such days. Meanwhile, goals or no goal, Messi can never be anonymous. His impact must be felt.

In conclusion, that Messi missed a penalty still doesn't make Ronaldo better than him. You can't compare a goal-poacher with an all-round dictatorial attacker.

The general downfall of most men are ladies, if not all. This thread says it all.

Personally, woman no be anything for me, and I'm not gay either. If you set trap for me with woman, free am....you no go catch anything. Keep woman one side keep three wraps of weed the other side, I go just pick the wraps of weed go my way. Why woman kitten dey shack una like this seriously beats me. Highest 1 hour of naked pleasure....everything go come back to normal. You can't compare that with the joy that comes with knowing that you own a 2018 G-Wagon Jeep and some landed properties. Better still if your name don enter Forbes list.

All my life, I have not walked up to a lady to woo her(unless I wan use you catch fun). Once I don't notice any chemistry, Bye Bye. The best relationships I've been into with the opposite sex began with the ladies making the first move. Maybe it's my fine face that's doing the magic for me. But if na the other way, the girl go wait tire. Afterall, na f##k still end am.

My brothers, no be we like f##k pass. Don't let your libido make you a slave to another human being. There's a reason why we are classified as higher animals. Someone said that God knew that if he had left man alone without a woman, he would have achieved as much as he(God) did. Hence he created a woman and made her man's weakness. If you want to be like God, avoid this weakness.

victorian:
Well I don't need to announce my achievements online .

Then there is no rule in life that say , I must end up with a broke man or marry a broke guy who cannot fend for himself

My man is as successful as I am.

Go figure !


Sorry, what am I even saying ? It will be too tasking for your Brain to figure .

So no need . I understand what u are going thru in life .
Sorry o!
Lol

Who's talking about settling with a broke man? Where in my lines did I advocate that? I even urged you to go for something higher- a landlord. But you are contented with a three-bedroom-flat bachelor because maybe your parent's house is a one-room apartment. Maybe that's why a rented three-bedroom flat is a big deal to you.

Biko shift from my mention. You never reach

victorian:
We want matured men cos they have less stress, they are financially stable and not squatting . Then they treat women better in terms of material things and emotions. there is nothing like we are splitting house rent into two. Infact its a win win win situation

And he's got his rent covered already in a three bedroom flat or duplex .

That's what I call a man!

Did you just mention house rent covered? For three bedroom flat/duplex? You didn't even aim for a house owner/landlord?

See how you exposed a f##ked up mentality while trying to describe what you feel are lofty tastes and signs of luxury. From a economical point of view, a bachelor who occupies a three-bedroom flat deserves 100 strokes of cane. He should have stayed in a smaller apartment, paying a less rent while allocating the rest of the money into the building of his own house. Otherwise he is just wasting money.

As for you, make yourself useful. God did not send you into this world with the sole mission of hooking yourself to a financially stable man. Don't make yourself so small

When they say girls demand, it's strange to me. I've rarely encountered such. Rarely.

Maybe it's because I've other areas that are of essential benefit to them than money....or there's this stuff about me that repels potential leeches from me.

But even if it was otherwise, a lady can't still suck me like that. Because for every one thing you take from me, I'd take an equivalent, or more. It's just in my mentality not to be at a disadvantaged position.

Once again, I wonder where these girls you all are complaining about come from. Maybe you are the one at fault shaa

MrMcJay:
Lawyers don't lie, they don't argue based on the truth but argue based on facts. What lawyers do is puncture holes in the facts.

Here's an example, you saw a white object and we all know it's white. However a lawyer would ask you if your eyes have never deceived you before. He would question your eyesight. He would ask you if have ever been slapped and everywhere looks white.

If you answer yes to any of those, he would now ask you that how are you sure your eyes weren't deceiving you when you saw the white object. It could have been yellow, black, grey, sky blue or even red.

If you dare say that your eyes have never deceived you, everyone in court would know you're lying.

Only you get sense for here walahi. People really don't understand the position of lawyers in relation to the truth, hence the comments here.

Even Satan, the father of all liars, would find it hard to tell a lie in a court of competent jurisdiction. How many people im wan deceive at once? Judges, opposing counsels, witnesses? Im use remote controller dey control their brain?

Even the best the most skilled advocate would do is to try to puncture holes in a reliable fact, as well as to suppress evidence that would incriminate an accused person if brought to light in court. But to come to court and tell outrageous lies like a certain Minister of Information with the aim of perverting the course of Justice is not possible. The counsel who does this would up sounding like a flippant clown, a comedian of some sort- he might end up getting jailed for contempt of court.

God, if men keep getting weak, abeg change me to a lady. I cannot stay in a team of losers.

Please my brothers, respect is earned. A woman's respect can be earned through many avenues- money, d!(k, focus on career, principled lifestyle, diligence etc. So if you can't earn a lady's respect with ease, it means you're a bast#rd.

Personally, I have suffered little or no disrespect from the opposite sex. Even older ladies dey give me my way. And in the event of disrespect, I don't rant. I either let it go, or I run you better street. And taking life is part of the street.

In conclusion, as a man...learn from Machiavellian principles. IT IS BETTER TO BE FEARED THAN TO BE LOVED. Thus, as you get loved and admired by people(men and women), also make sure you are feared too. That fear would protect you when love cannot.

gypsey:
well i can assure you that there is nothing wrong with fuvking prostitutes, i have used prostitutes numerous times and still using, i ve also had girlfriends got married and divorced twice. prostitutes are clean, humble and are not hyporcrites unlike most girls people call girlfriends.

Anyone who has a girlfriend as long as they are not married that his girl friend is a prostitute!
Anyone who is a girlfriend to any man as long as they are not married is a prostitute including my own girlfriend, there are no difference, so carry on fuvking prostitutes.
for those of you hyporcrites who would quote and judge me, maybe you should try fuvking a prostitute trust me you will enjoy it, otherwise Bite my ass!

Bros, na you Biko. I don't understand this fuss about f##king prostitutes. They are human beings for f##k sake- and most of them are cleaner than the average girlfriend. They are fornicating, We are fornicating. What makes them think their way of fornication is cleaner and holier than ours? Abeg make I hear word.

The only stuff I'm against is going to brothels regularly to have a good time. Once I find a girl that suit my specs, Omo na home service stuffs. Fortunately the ones around my area are voluptuous, facially fine and don't steal. Still doesn't mean I trust them though.

I don't depend on this category of females solely for sexual satisfaction. I still have several side chicks that come for the D too. And all these helped me to become what I have always wanted to be. I'm the last dude on earth that a girl can manipulate with her p√s$y. All these stuffs about chasing girls for a year, no be for me. And coupled with the fact that I've a somewhat low libido, my need for girls are very minimal. I run my life smoothly without being unnecessarily stressed by a human being who thinks having a hole between her legs and a pair of inflated twins makes her a goddess. Na my type women dey see compose. No be mouth. Na lifestyle.

P.S: Make no body bother me with marriage talk. Afterall Davido and Wizkid no gree marry. If I fit get money wey go put me for Forbes list, as well as care and protect my family(my parent's family)...I don achieve highest. Nothing again concern me

Even if Salah finished that match, Madrid would still have won. The best his presence could have done is to make the match tougher for Madrid. And even Salah himself is not as good as what the media and Liverpool fans try to make out of him. He's clearly not on Messi or Ronaldo's level. He's a few notches below...in the class of Dybala, James Rodriguez and the likes.

I'm a Barca fan, and I supported Liverpool to win today. But deep down in my heart I knew this would happen. You can't compare La Liga with the EPL.

The things I just read made me grind with bitterness and malice. It's a miracle I'm not crying.

I won't say all I learnt from this experience. But then I'd admit this one so that others can learn too. Women operate very emotionally, and unless you're trying to get some benefits and hit the road once again, don't ever get as emotional as them. Know what you want as a man and chase those things only. Let your focus be on your self-interest and goal 24/7.

I dunno why men are getting this weak. Love is not for us- I mean the romantic love. F##k that kitten and get back in line. There are way too many responsibilities for a man to be wasting time on women. If them say make them close the institution of marriage, na women go suffer am pass. That's why an insane majority of the female folk anticipate their wedding day as their happiest day on earth.

Op, a wily part of me would have laid low and gained enough financial benefits from the old man, and then run away from him and his daughter to an unknown destination when I have gathered enough. But that is the coward's way to bow out. What the brave part of me would do is to find a line of hustle, leave the house and rent and apartment I paid for with my own money, back up spiritually(babalawo things)...and then send their daughter back to them. Anything wey go sup, make e sup. A man die only once.

The only time a female cannot help when it comes to defending her folk is when her brother(s) is involved. Every other fool who can't advise themselves are at the mercy of a counsel that would be unwise to implement.

Op, if you want to know whether you're taking the right step, ask any of your blood sister.

I support this op, but from a different perspective. Reason is this...I can't complain against a lady. It's freaking unmanly. So I suppose just act like say nothing happen. I no fit rant, no matter wetin sup.

But I no let go finally. Two things are involved...either I run the girl better street wey pass the one wey she run me, or she go fall like tree last last. I mean, I go collect her life waka comot.

Nevertheless, men dey fall hands. I no just know why, but woman no be anything to me. God come help me I no come get high libido. Na im I come use the thing to my own advantage. As it stands, babes for street dey give me my way. Dem no born any girl well to even attempt to use me shine. My respect dey flow wella. Same thing applies to the guys around me. Maximum respect 24/7.

If I come get mad money join, na legendary status be my portion.

God...as I get ready to wear these same shoes that op is wearing right now, let my feet(funds) be big enough to size in perfectly.

Op, face your duty with delight. Family is everything. Mine are the only people I love more than myself. I can shed some pints for them without thinking that I have done a great sacrifice. Last last, na there be my refuge if the whole world reject me.

The only thing I think you need is bigger funds.

If you need money to be attractive, then you must be naturally and terribly ugly at the same time. No thanks to your parents' genes at all.

Guys who are cute, confident and are good in bed understand better. If they earn money, they spend it on themselves- they don't use it to buy a lady's love at all. All they need to keep the b!tch in check is their fine face and their sweet d!cks.

I dunno. I'm just different. And marriage might be a nice institution...but i don't give much f##k$ about it. And If you come from where I come from, you would understand me.

Even as an only son, I don't feel pressured. I'm more concerned with myself and my family. And till my family's name is as famous as Dangote's, Tinubu's or Innoson's....I'm not resting.

I just want to ensure that whoever would take any of my sisters' hands in marriage would feel like I did them a favour. I want to see that look of awe and joy on their faces when I tell them that they can tap from an illustrious bloodline.

As for me myself...if you can remember Michael Corleone's character in the 'Godfather'...that's exactly what I want to be like. I know I want to be respected, influential and feared. And if it is possible to be these three things without being married, then marriage is not an achievement for me.