₦airaland Forum

ijleke:
nairalanders, am a single mom and i love my daughter and am happily engaged to be married in april to a guy that believs in me, if u feel that we(single mom's ) aint wort to be married then i suggest u guys (all) go mess yourself, i leave u with these word how would you feel if ur sis was a single mom am sure u overrated- over grown ass holes wont be here arguing about single mom, go get a life and better still get a JOB, danmit

life is about choices and consequences. some like it som dont it is their choice just like some like light complexion people and some dont it is about choice and we must learn to respect people choice

omosegose:
@JJYOU,

I am not saying he committed a felony by sending money to his folks. but as a couple we should discuss it, i am a very open person but since hes attitude of keeping to himself i decided to do same.

He doesnt even communicate with me. Put yourself in my shoes and tell me your sincere opionion on how it feels. Thanks

How do you mean by show me how i hate? I sincerely love him and that its the truth. What have i done now thats wrong? I dont complain about anyone since he believes i hate his everyone in his family which is not true.

@busy_body,

Many thanks for the advice.

marraige is not a prison so chill. check my previous post you will see i am all for sharing info and having joint family accounts however if it his money he shouldn't be telling you every time he spend it.  there is freedom and room for individuality in relationships.

do you communicate? it is obvious you guys have communication problems.  so sit down and start talking rather than use nairaland.

prisoners get housed and fed freely.  it is not a sign of love.  read your 1st post again it doesnt reflect your love for his family.  the english man say love me love my dog.  if you say you love a man and dont learn to love the people in his life before he met you, you are  looking for trouble.  marraige is meant to be enjoyed not endured.  you guys can achieve more being united than all these silliness of trying to impress nairaland

tope2000:
Ewooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo . . . . . what has this thead turn to?? husband n wife bashing each other

kai stop that. the lady is declaring her love

Safe trip back home and all the best

Just remember I Love you and always do

**osisi:
My examples are numerous with  different people.
My good friend ,one time bossom friend in Houston ,did it all the time till I told her it was very rude and she apologised but never could stop it.
We'll be talking and here comes Toun her friend and immediately they go off screaming away in Yoruba when Toun speaks very good English.
And my hubby who went to a university in Yoruba land says it was an everday occurence amongst his Yoruba friends too.
It even happened when you went with a Yoruba classmate to see a professor for something academic , he said.
As soon as you got there,your friend would prostrate and they go off in Yoruba and you're just there looking  like a fool
and at the end of their long conversation,you have no clue if he's presented the problem you came with and gotten a solution for both of you or just himself
then the prof turns over to you as if to say "what's your problem" and you don't know whether to narrate the reason you came or prostrate on the floor like your friend did.

i had a trainer in UBA training centre in apapa yrs ago that willl teach in english and suddenly burst in with intoripe. he always forgot he was teaching people from all over nigeria. it is a very common thing yoruba people do. you are NOW a NL certified tribalist. wear the badge with honour especially as it comes from fellow tribalists. dont sleep too much in their midst though

Busy_body:
There is no need to make a mountain out of a molehill, he did not mean to be spiteful by opening this thread, if he did not love you, he would not be here asking for advice, work with him, meet him halfway, you have a baby involved, they see this things and it can affect them emotionally.

You guys just have an issue with trust and insecurity, as well as communication problem, thats all, it is just a small problem, which better communication and reassurance can handle.

I guessed earlier that maybe the reason why you started misbehaving had to do with the fact that he cheated on you, but I am not sure he handled that question well

Like someone suggested earlier, counselling would help a great deal, it only costs about £25 per hour, and you might be able to get it at a reduced price, if you are a low-wage earner or part-time worker.

Make it work. Talk to each other, God bless you all.

thank you my dear. no we know the devil truly wears prada. i think some of us have to thank God for our lot. that reply is funny. and how for a first post you can use  @NL.  say no more as they say. we truly have actresses as my ma inlaw would say. 

@ house, is this a first? husband and wife on same thread?

omosegose:
ehnnnnnnn,      

@Mozilla

You are a perfect liar! I just came across this whilst using the system. Guessed you forgot to log and figured out it was u my husband!

@Nlanders,

Theres absolutely no truth in what mozilla just said. Whilst we were courting i met his Elder Brother who finished univeristy in 2000 and has NEVER worked. I helped him secure his first job in life in 2006 which he is still doing to this very moment. The brother had been living with him all the while.

Whilst courting the Elder brother was always in our company when we go shopping even when we were going for MARRIAGE COUNSELLING!!!!!!! Hubby has other brothers but this Elder one is so attached to him and he doesnt have limit,

Anytime i pointed it out to my husband he says you hate him, you hate my family and i stop compalining and kept mute.


I was surprised that even after getting married the elder brother was still living in the house and there was no sign of making moves to leave the house and husband didnt bother as he cannot tell his brother the truth that it was wrong. Imagine a newly wedded, with the Husband's Elder brother in the house (ladies would underrstand better), not that he didnt have money he was working but he didnt feel any need as we got along until i couldnt tolerate it anylonger that was when he moved and i apologised the day he moved out if i have wronged him in any way,   

He moved closed to our house and always wanted a free lift to work,  i have never complained (because if i did hubby will say you hate my bro) -I guess he wont go to work since his brother isnt around now though hes got my hubbys's car to himself now

My husband started extra-marital affairs 4 months after marriage, i called the girl and told her to keep off if she knows what its good for her politely. The girl called me back apologising that shes sorry that My hubby never mentioned he was Married besides he never wore a ring whilst they had an affair!

MOZILLA FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I DONT HATE YOUR MOTHER AND ANY MEMBER OF YOUR FAMILY,
There's a limit to everything!!!

We dont communicate as Couple should, I had a Baby here in the UK, I called his Mother and one of his brothers to tell them. His Elder Brother didnt call me up till this very moment to congratulate me and hubby didnt see anything wrong with it.

None of his family members has even picked up to call to say hi to me up to this very moment instead they keep flashing him and he calls back immediately they need money, mama is lonely, mama is sick, they want him to buy car (they will send the money which they havent sent oo), i want to receive some money in your details, whats your bank details etc.

Life in uk is very very easy you know. My family members keep calling me and my hubby to say hi and know how we are doing, 900 pounds was even sent to assist us till we settled and we returned it.

His Elder brother got married after we left and had a baby and told hubby. Hubby called him and his wife. I didnt not! The Brother goes around tell his mummy bad stories about me. shortly before i left nigeria my mother in law called me that my brother in law has been saying bad stories about me that she knows her son and they often dont get along that i should try to tolerate him. which i m doing,. I sincerely do not have anything against his elder brother afterall i called him few days ago when i told my mum the issue on ground and she counselled myself and hubby. i took up the phone and called his elder brother to say hi.

Brother in law complains about me to hubby referring to past happenings whilst he was staying with us, which i apolosed,  hubby sends an email telling him to ignore me and he insulted me too (imagine i thot marriage was about a man clinging to his wife) mine own clings to his brother believing everything he says.

Since the begining of our marriage it has always been about His Elder bro and for weeks he wouldnt talk to him, eat my food, he comes home late, i was pregnant he keeps sending text messages like i regret marrying u, u hate my family, my bro etc) I will just be home alone crying my eyes out. We dont communicate,


All his brothers are working, but everything concerning mama he does everything all alone. His brothers dont contribute a penny (as they all claim they dont have money) hubby isnt the first born ooo, even up to the bed we were sleeping on, mama said she needed a new bed, the elder bro calls to tell him (hubby didnt have money at that time i was heavily pregnant, do you know i gladly gave the bed out to mama and i was sleeping on the floor with pregnancy) if i hated his mum will i? What stops any of his brothers even hes elder one from doing the same.

We have no savings whatever. I am a mother myself and I dont hate his mum for whatever reasons. My point is If any issues arises regarding mumsie call your other brothers make them involved dont keeping doing everything all alone and let your elder brother know theres a limit to everything,


He sends money to his mummy without telling me what really got my annoyed was the fact that i begged him to send even 30 pounds to my folks (its not about the amount but the love behind it) he shouted saying he doesnt have money, remember i sent money to my mum in law before ooo, i got to know when i checked his account. He changed his pin and email password. If you have nothing to hide why did you change you password and pin?

He even went to the extent of installing a spyware software on the system to get my passwords, emails and chats, I discovered that and removed it and asked me why hes doing that?

I am not being bossy or a nagging wife but you have just made up your mind about me, and you are looking for a perfect wife.

It's a shame that you wrote this story on the internet. Every marriage has up and downs and If you want to run away from me and our son, its up to you.

I work so why did you say i dont and pls learn to speak the truth at all times, your story is filled with lots of lies!

Safe trip back home and all the best

Just remember I Love you and always do


@NL,

Please what wrong  have i done? Thanks

i think this man committed fellony by sending your money to his parents.  i dont know why some people dont know you earn respect. sending your mrs money to your parents is a no no.  bible said if a man cannot feed his home he should not eat.

marraige has become FBI operations mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Just remember I Love you and always do

if this is love you must kindly show us how you hate.

funmi! funmi!! funmi!!! how many times did i call you this morning?

i will call you again later.

na yoruba man dey pursue mitchelin abi? you are brewing another dongoyaro again this morning

Lagosboy:
Use your intelligence for once please, the intelligence i know you posses but religious bias and hatred seems to have relegated it . Of course you can disagree with the US of Africa but this reason is just simply absurd.

What a myopic and simpleton way of thinking.

The 7/7 bombers were all British and would Tony blair say he wouldnt share his passport with them. The US judges's son in jail for fighting with the Taliban is a white caucasian american with a US passport. Please try to use it when analysing issues I know you have it!!!

e be like say na tarkwa bay boy you be. you appear to like the sound of your voice. david has the right to reject gadi mafia like you have the right to use seun's land.

gadafi is an arab nationalist how do you expect him to like black christians. you guys want to bring slave trade and genoside through the back door. it wont happen

meexteriox:
What is more important in appointing a VC, is it the capability or ethnicity?
I thought UNIBEN was a federal institution?
This Edo Group should concern themselves with more biting issues in Edo state.

and you missed this in the report  

But the president of the Edo Citizens Group, Mr. Ralph Adeghe in a press conference urged the Federal Government to resort to due process in the appointment of an acting VC or risk court action. He accused the Minister of Education, Dr. Sam Egwu, of bringing ethnic sentiment into the appointment of Gbenedio.

is due process not yaradua's mantra?

earTHMama:
You obviously didn't understand his comment at all.  Again, the Edo group were protesting the appointment of another igbo VC  because the outgoing one is igbo.

why not have a federal institution that is having ijaws and itsekiris heading ibos and yoruba civil service?

it is notthe kids that failed it is mostly their parents and their quest for money and all things good.

datingguru:
1. Enjoys putting you down, especially in front of other people.
Don't ever buy it when he says, "I was only joking!"
It isn't funny, not for you and not for others
witnessing the attack.



2. He is possessive. Is he alienating you from your family and friends?
No, it's not sweet that he wants you all to himself. It is not healthy
for him to control your every move; you are an individual who was
not born attached to someone else's hip, nor should you be now.



3. He loves taking the guys with him on your dates! How could you
possibly put up with even one friend of his, who is bound to be
inebriated by the end of the night along with Prince Charming,
whom by this stage will more than likely be totally obnoxious
and oblivious of your presence?


4. He is difficult to get hold of.

5. Avoids your friends and family and will not introduce you to his.

6. He is constantly complaining about money, or he is a miser with his finances.

7. A bad sign is a guy who has an awful lot of ex girlfriends who still hangs around

PS: feel free to add your own comment and contribution

Datingguru.

pls explain the last 3 properly to me. tks

birdman:
I dont have any kids, but I observed that people who tend to mingle with others in Nigerian churches have an easier time raising their kids with a strong cultural background. It seems to insulate them from the more negative influences, and keep their head right", in my opinion.

my observation is different from this. if what you said is true why do they send many of these kids back home for schooling? why do many of this kids become tenage mum and dad? it is too early so we wont talk the abortions. i know many people who will not teach sunday school because of the rudeness of the so called made in england kids.

this is funny. some weeks back we were watching nollywood movie on telly.

the plot was a man and wife with a daughter and the other lady being single mum with an only daughter. she said she has noticed many families in nollywood always have 1 or 2 kids. i do not think this is reality in most naija families.

temi 4 rea:
UNIQUE BREED!thats funny,

Well i have 5 brothers and no sister,i guess that mkes me the only girl,

The worse is am the last baby of the house(well thats the best part of it),

my brothers stop bathing me when i was in ss2(anyway am sml in size),and till i got married they stll wash my cloths and clean my room.

maybe it wasnt proper but they kept guarding and protecting me whlie growing up and that affected the way i relate wth girls,i hardly keep women as friend and i dont fight women.
I grew up wth the idea of its wrong to fight a woman,so most times i fight its wth a guy.

Never had a boyfriend till my 2nd yr in BUK(university),most men i meet even at wuk today stl complains abt my lack of feminine attitude.am stl trying to ajust,trying to sit like a lady and so on.
I remembered in school,lots of ladies complain abt my stare and other things to some extent i thought i was a lesbian,the few female friends i was able to keep i get too jealous ,always try to be protective,i smtimes scare guys away from them.
I hate girls coming to my house(then) to see any of my brother,i complain abt every girl my brothers bring home.

Sometmes i wonder wht my husband actually saw in me.Its fun to be okonlawo!

my wife is the only girl of 7 kids and the very last. imagine having 6 brothers watching over you. she enjoyed it and still enjoying it. . they live across the pond from us but watch over her like she is still a baby.

how many more years do you have to waste? answer that

if you are a nigerian woman and you believe that liar we need to take our passport back from you. you wont run before he mess you up big time.

where is sisi, karmamod, topup and others when a sister need you?

chei wetin dem take train easy believism people like you?

make you no run before the yeye man give you bele

wbb

wbb

God help u.

cvibe:
@poster,

It's not about what people tell you to do, but what you are passionate about.

what if he is not passionate about anything?

ijaw_girl:
michelin89 board moderator that wasnt an official thread, In this thread we are representing our state and LGA and celebrating our Ijaw culture,unlike the other one so please dont delete my topic again


aahhh Izon!!!!!!!!!!  Izon otu, una doo o!!!
Where am my Ijaw people @?     me am representing bonny Island-river state and Bayelsa state Amassoma, Niger delta izon
whats yours, what part of Ijaw land do you rep?

the official Ijaw thread, ah we need an Ijaw thread, lets throw some language Ijaw here, sebo'

Eastern Ijaws--Ijaw Kalabaris!!(abonemas, degemas), OKRIKA Ijaws!!
IBANI Ijaws (Ibani (the natives of Bonny, Finima and Opobo)

Western/central Ijaws--Nembe, Brass, BAYELSANS in general
Tarakiri, and Kolokuma-Opokuma

Delta Ijaws

The Ijaw people (also called Izon people) are currently situated in the Niger-delta of Nigeria, which is in southern Nigeria. There are Ijaws in Bayelsa, Rivers, Delta, Edo, Ondo and even Akwa ibom states of Nigeria.
The Ijaw’s are a nation of more than seventeen million people in the Niger Delta region. The Ijaws are the most populous indigenous inhabitants of the Niger Delta and constitute the fourth largest ethnicity within the borders of Nigeria.


We have produce the people like,
Ben Murray Bruce(founder/president of silverbed, the biggest Nigerian entertainment company)
AGBANI Darego(Miss World 2001, first black African to win the title)
John Pepper clerk(writer
Asu Ekiye(famous Nigerian gospel musician
etc

17 million ijaws?  is this true? i love them and itsekiri songs. always melodious.

another ugly good for nothing idiot. you wonder why the abortionists missed him

3yrs you don chop toto finish now u wan go try another one. hope the new lady is worth it?

someone is going to get killed soon over this stupidity.

chrishenzo:
Hello my guy, somethings happens for us to learn. Although it might hurt but believe me, you should be the one to praise God.As long as you can inhale carbon dioxide and exhale oxygen, believe me there is nothing to worry about.Life still have many things to offer.There are three things you must do.
1. From now on try as much as possible to work hard. Don't waste your time on anything that won't add to your progress in life. Believe me, if you become a failure in life tomorrow, she might think that she made a nice decision.
2. Never ever in your life wish her evil.You can never progress if you wish someone evil.
3. Don't call her again and say the word "I LOVE YOU" but you can still call her just to say hello. Don't quit calling her. As long as a girl can predict what your next action will look like, believe me you have little or no value for the girl. Call her but not regularly. I suggest once a month.
4. Don't fall to help her in times of need. That makes you a REALLY MAN.

But if I should say something more, I will advice you never to accept her as your  soulmate again but you can still call her your friend.
Your story reminds me of what happened five years ago. Guy I must say that you are lucky.When my girlfriend left me(five years ago), she came to my house one bright afternoon. This is what she said " Chris I'm sorry that I have to quit our relationship. It is because we are far from each other. I need someone very close to me. I would like to show you my new boyfriend". She opened her bag, from it she took out a picture of a guy. I took the picture from her and stared at the motionless picture(which is staring back at me). I stared at the picture for about ten seconds. During the ten seconds, I must confess that I remembered every detail of what happen during 2-3years of our relationship.But since love is not by force, I gave her the picture back and wish her luck.Such is life. No need to continue my story. All I want to tell you is this ,  STAND UP, DUST YOUR BUTTOCKS AND FACE THE ROAD OF LIFE WITH A COURAGEOUS HEART. LIFE STILL HAS MANY THINGS TO OFFER.

she doesnt deserve no help and you dont owe her any. if you have too much money to do good go to the orpans of this world and better deserving people.

Sisi Jinx:
Mr. Man, she is gone. . . trying to change her mind is more time being wasted.

Move on. . . .

On a side note, this part of your post struck me. . .

Do girls really take offers like that from guys they are just dating?

I'll pay this for you, I will buy that for you, I will spend this on you like Daddy Warbucks.

Kai, I find that kinda talk really annoying and I don't or rather can't blame her for turning you down. 

sadly some actually expect far more and demand it. it may be strange to you but that is the order of the day back there. dont forget recharge card sellers too.  what baffles me is how people can take some young mans little money knowing fully well they are not serious.  how do they live with themselves?

@OP, get on with your life. there are better girls out there

the wonders of NL

scum of the earth.

*comfort:
Babatunde Abunbiade.

you like the name?

MrCrackles:
And who told you we dont?

I dont condone disgusting and dispicable acts by muslims just because i am

And i believe any sane muslim wont!

i have seen all you guys do is excuse wicked acts. where waz you during the factua on seun saga? where was you when i was banned for posting an article of a moslem young girl doing boob job?

when i see you people condeming vile and wicked acts i will begin to believe there are some sane ones amongst you