₦airaland Forum

I feel you D-sense, I feel bad for your friend to have to go threw something like this,   

Because it is written in the bible. Because I've met the man I truly love and that loves me and we both decided we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together as one union. Since I can remember, I've always had the desire to get married and start a family as God intended man to do. Marriage is suppose to be sacred. So I want to do it the right way that's only pleasing in God's eyes. With my spouse, I am able to have a friend, my partner, confidant, lover and a brother in the Lord without going against God's commandments. As the bible says: "It's not good for man to be alone". So He knew what he was doing when he invented marriage.

Some circumstances can happen beyond your control, in that case.  You can be forgiven if you break a promise (or at least you should).  However, if you are known to make promises and don't keep them then your word won't mean nothing to no one.  Your word should be bond.  Therefore, IF you KNOW that you are going to make a promise you can't possibly keep or unsure of, it's best not to make it. Because you are basically making the commitment saying: I will do/say yada yada.  Be a person of great integrity.  I'm a woman of her word and it will take me a whole lot to make me go back on my word.  So my family and friends know, if I say so, it will be. 

@Coded777 I'm sorry to say, but making a promise that some guy/gal won't break your heart sounds a bit crazy.  Nothing is guaranteed and anything can happen. God forbid. So making a commitment like that was a little "off".

davedozz:
They're just 2 much don't know where to start 4rm!!

I trust U, na the craziest thing U've done is that [s]YOU'VE DONE NOTHING!!!!!![/s]

That's what I'm talking about! it's 1 of them



Jeez! dis is so ORDINARY. Cutie, think of something Crazy. puleeeaasee,

That was the craziest. I was out of my mind! , anyway's, I would say letting my ex-boyfriend talk me into buying him a 2nd cell phone claiming it was for "work". Shoot, it's so many, I'd be here all day.

Gave my virginity away to my first boyfriend.

gabriel4u:
This chick is a chick i will eva love in my life time, though i have much but she's the best 4 me, we’ve been dating 4 2yrs+ now, she finally allow me to Ginger her swagger yesterday (because she was a Virgin), Now am the 1st guy to Penetrate into the private house.

If you happen 2 b the 1, what suppressing thing(s) would u do? True story 4rm me.

What suppressing thing I would do? Well, if you're asking what we would do after losing our virginity, nothing. Well, for me, I was wondering what the heck did I just do? If it was bad, I'd be thinking, I should've waited.

Like the others said. You sound very young. Please make sure you are using protection because right now, you are not ready to be raising no be be kids right now.

It doesn't matter if every guy/gal thinks you are attractive. There will always be mixed opinions about everyone. Because this is the real world, you have to face facts that not everyone will find you attractive. I'm not a lesbian and livedit is comfortable in herself to be able to admit it, but I think you are attractive young lady. Don't let what some people would say about you get you down. Somebody is always going to find something negative about somebody no matter how they look. We all were made in the image of God, therefore all of God's creations are beautiful. Later to what "man" say. There is always someone for everyone and somebody on this earth will find you attractive. So whatever, you have confidence in yourself to know you are beautiful and the stuff and keep on stepping. I'm a firm believer that if you don't have nothing good to say, then don't say nothing at all.

MRbrownJAY:
@poster
is there any reason why you cant ASK HIM how he feels about you?!

as far as your relationship is concerned, he is doing what he said he will and simply because YOU changed doesnt mean he automatically should. let him know what you seek and move on to your merry way if he doesnt want to change OR accept what you're getting!

I agree with Mrbrownjay completely.  In the beginning, he told you what he was looking for in the beginning of your "relationship" so you can't get mad or fault the guy for being honest with you about his feelings.  I really think you could've been more honest about your feelings in the beginning.  I don't know why so many women get with these men, have a "casual" relationship with the guy and think eventually he will "fall" for you when he flat out told you he wasn't looking for nothing serious.  I'm sure you have the potential to become his woman, but right now. He don't sound like he is emotionally unavailable to become exclusive.

Now, you can express to him how you feel and ask him how he feels about you so you will know for sure exactly where you stand in his life.  If he tells you he like the way things are and maybe one day down the line he would consider being exclusive with you then the ball is back in your court.  You can either stick around, continue on being his FWB and hope that he will change his mind later down the road. Or you can cut him loose and move on and find someone who is ready to settle down and be with you.  Because the longer you continue to be "intimate" with this guy, the deeper your emotions/feelings will be.  And the only one who will be hurt and feel cheated would be you.  So you have to decide what you really want out of this relationship and don't settle for anything less.  I know you have bonded with this guy and cares for him alot.  But you have to respect his feelings and have to realize that you may not be the only one he is spending time with.  So a talk is definitely in order for you two NOW before anything goes any further.  But be ready for whatever the outcome will be.  Good or bad.  It's better to hurt now and get it over with than to hurt the rest of your life.

Have you confronted your friend to ask him what's the deal with him pushing up on your woman? Just because he "helped" you get a job does not give him the "green light" to push up on your woman? Since that is your friend, I think you should check him about that. You don't have to be mean or rude about it. But I'll respectfully let him know what he is doing ain't even cool. You may also want to find out what "cue" your girl is giving him that it's okay for him to push up on her.

It's a good possibility they are seeking a gift from your friend. If you stated they have been dissing him up until then and now they got all friendly now that it's the holidays. I would say that is a pretty safe bet. If that is the case, that's pretty selfish, don't you think? Then what will happen AFTER the holiday is over. They go back to mistreating him. So sad, using people just to get something you don't deserve. Uggh, whhyyyyy?

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you too!

Although I'm not married yet, no I wouldn't change a thing. I love my "honey bun" just the way he is. Nobody is perfect and I don't want nobody perfect except God.

Luckily for me and my fiance, Livedit don't drink anymore and haven't in over 2yrs. My fiance doesn't drink either. So we're both good.

chibenwa:
nawa oh,i've been calling her phone like hell, she dosn't pick!

@omega,u no well,am vry sure i pulled out on time.
@livedit,am not kidding.not expecting dis.abt sex education,we all no dis.
but u knw hw it is at times.hit happens.

well, still waiting 4 her call and the result.

But if you know all about this. Why don't you think you can get her pregnant still? You know that depending upon your last ejaculation, that there can be little "swimmers" still in your uretha. You do know that precum do contain "swimmers" too. You secrete that when you get "excited" to make it easier for your "swimmers" to come through. Please have her go get a pregnancy test and if she is "okay" maybe you should convince her to get on the pill or wrap it up next time and use more lube for better "sensitivity."

@ D-sense, My thing is, WHY is she hugging and shaking hands nearly every day with her employees?  What's that all about? I'm sure your friend hasn't been the only one who has "seen" her.  Nobody else hasn't said nothing? 

That in itself should draw suspicion of her.  She sounds deprived and definitely don't have any manners and regards to herself and the people she work with. She needs to be fired! Plain and simple! F to da I to da R to da E to the big D! Fired! Nasty butt, what's wrong with people these days, making her poor employee(s) shake her contaminated hand! 

What the? D-sense, so he been going through this for years? I thought this just started happening. Okay, something sounds fishy about his story. So after years of sleeping with her, now he seeks help? My man better get to praying for God to free him from this situation. Because it's gonna take God to intervene on his behalf.

Uggh, that's gross! Can he report her? Does he HAVE to shake her hand? V.aginal juice? That's gross and unsanitary. Nobody wants to shake smelly hands with some lady after she been playing with herself! What if she has herpes or something? I'd try to keep my hands full of something when I'd see her. Tell her he got a cold and don't want to spread it on her. Yuck!

kokoye:
This is the Arab world sweetie - not America.  

He cant just tell her to get lost cos then she can raise hell and claim she was r.aped. And the guy would be casterated, lashed before getting stoned alive.  That is their law - no lawyers

He cant just move without being very discreet about it because the lady might tell the same lie and  . . same consequences as i mentioned above.

, well, his best bet is to buy a video camera and catch her in the act seemingly since there is no other way for him to escape this "dirty secret".  Until he get his "proof", do he have any family/friends or anybody that can come stay with him or time it around the time she show's her trifling butt up?  You're right, I'm not familiar with the laws. I didn't mean literally him to say it like " get lost" but tell her in a respectful way.

[quote author=D-sense link=topic=571422.msg7376896#msg7376896 date=1292877151]You missed some points . . . . . .I said the first time she appeared ,the guy had to open and let her in ,Cause it was her undies found in his Balcony which the guy declined to pick them up with his hands .So he was tempted to invite the lady in . . .And that's is where the whole stuffs started![/quote]No D-sense. I understood what you wrote. I understand in the beginning she "tricked" him to going to get her bra and panties and then she "moved" in for the "kill". My thing is, you said he was "scared" and don't want to keep sleeping with her but don't know how to get rid of her without him losing his *head*? So unless she has moved in with him, then why is it so difficult for him to tell her to get lost or move? Maybe you're right D-sense. I'm not understanding. I thought the point was, she conning him to continue sleeping with her and he don't know how to get "out".

Early morning, afternoon, evening or night.  Some people prefer mornings, some people prefer evenings it all depends on each individual.  I wouldn't have a problem with mornings, as long as I don't smell any "toxic" breath or B/O, then it's all good!  So I say, whenever the mood strikes and you have the time then I say go for what you know.   

Although Livedit is currently engaged to a Nigerian. I didn't go out specifically searching for a Nigerian. He came to me. Lived it doesn't go "gaga" just over Nigerians. A man is a man to me. Somes values, cultures and back rounds maybe different, but when it boils down to it. I'll say it again: "A man is a man." Livedit goes "gaga" for all ethnic men. No man is better than the other nor do I think each man is exactly alike. Unless you been with every Nigerian/African/Hispanic/American/Chinese/Indian/Jamaican/Japenese/Mixed etc. man/woman in this world then you can only give your comment about the person(s) YOU'VE encountered personally.

Okay, why does this guy KEEP opening the door for her? Who stronger him or her? Why not call the landlord or like somebody said have a video camera going when she show up. Maybe even have someone to hear this "woman" propositing him. Tell him to grow a "pair" or borrow someone else's and tell that "woman" to get lost! If that don't work, then maybe he should consider moving ASAP. If he REALLY wanted that lady to stop manipulating him by having sex with her, he really could. I don't care how the law is over there.

@chibenwa - Please tell me you are kidding?  I know you are NOT that naive to know, the "pull out" method is NOT a recommended contreceptive.  The only full proof method is abstinence.  Then the next best thing is a condom, birth control pills or diaphragm with spermicide cream that will kill those little "swimmers" and even a vasectomy.  Have you taken sex education?  If not, please do.  Please tell your girlfriend to go get a pregnancy test.

lerato1:
NO NEVER!!!!!!!

I will never cheat.

It is not right at all. I am too good for that kind of nonsense.

I was only tempted by a guy i really liked but i never allowed it to go far. He tried every thing to make me sleep with him but i refused. He only entered my v, g, na half way but then i came back to my senses and pushed him away from on top of me, wore my cloths and i ran out of his room. I have never gone back there since that day.

Umm, you can join the rest of us. I hate to break it to you, but you have also cheated. Please re-read what you wrote above in (bold) and meditate on it for a minute. It's a good thing you stopped mid-booty, but the fact you even got to the point ends your story on faithfulness,

nwabuking5:
u dont have to be angry about it, just advice your friend to go and hookup with a maried man thats all so that it will be 1-1
what do u think

Umm, why should her friend do that? Why not just move on with your life and find someone who is available and SINGLE and forget about him. Two wrongs don't make a right. Then if her friend does that, that don't make her no better than him. Why not keep your dignity and move and find someone who will love you and be faithful to you and only you. The best revenge she could do is forgive, continue on with her life and find someone who will make her happy, have her back and treat her right. NOTHING good will come from that cursed relationship between her ex and married woman. Why tell her friend to go out and curse herself too?

Ahh, so this is the case of her thinking the grass was greener on the other side.  Now that she know's it's not, she wants to go back to the other side.  I agree with the poster to a certain extent. I can sympathsize with the guy because he invested 2yrs. with this gal and then for her to diss him like that. Therefore, HE left her.  The article never mentioned how old these two people are.  I vouching to say that she sounds young, very immature and definitely wasn't ready for no real relationship.  Why I say that? Is because of this statement>>She even promised me that if I don't meet her as a virgin I should do anything to her.<<  He should've realized from that statement alone and what her intentions was if they don't work out.  So the "girl" is not as completely at fault.  He should've known then what she was about.  But maybe the "love" he had for her blinded him and he didn't read between the lines.

Now, she has a right to give her virginity to anyone she pleases.  It's not written in stone that he HAD to be the one to "deflower" her.  If I read the article right, I do believe they weren't even together when she did get "deflowered" so whatever she did during that break-up is none of his business just like whomever he was with was none of her business.  That kills me how some men/women think some women/men owed their virginity to you.  Unless, they were married.  Nobody owes him/her nothing.  

So that's up to him if he wants to forgive her for mistreating him before he broke it off . Which I can understand why he broke it off.  But if he does forgive her, then it better be so they can build a firm foundation based on love and trust and because he genuinely believe she is sincere and want to build a life together or not.  But I feel if he's only reasoning is purely based upon her going back on her "promise", that's not a good excuse and there was no real love there anyway.  At least, that is what I think.

I can definitely understand why Carolece is frustrated and upset with men in general.  Carolece has every right to be angry.  Obviously, she cares about her friend and don't want no harm or hurt to come against her friend.  Her friend was betrayed and hurt that all she invested in this guy, he ups and leaves her for a married woman.

But I wouldn't stereo type that all men are dumb/useless.  There are just some men/women who are clueless to the fact of what they are doing is not only shady but completely wrong.  That's HIS prerogative if HE chose to end the relationship, but here comes the wrong part is to involve himself with a married woman who is already in a committed relationship. 

He know not what he is doing.  Otherwise, if he did. He would know that the repercussions he WILL suffer that comes along with it will not be worth it in the end. He pass up (I'm assuming a good SINGLE woman) who would put him first, love, care and respect him and give him her undivided attention. But instead he chose to commit a horrific act and start sleeping with someone else's wife.

What's sad on HIS part is that, she don't even care or respect him enough to end her present marriage before messing with him.  She'd rather keep the upper hand and leave him straying and hanging on like a human yo-yo ball whenever SHE wants to be bothered with him.  He leave someone that was first in her life to become somebodies pathetic seconds. He not even her 3rds, because I'm sure someone as low and sloppy with no class is sleeping with other men too.

I know HE don't think she is faithful to HIM when she can't even be faithful to her husband.  It's sad on that married woman's part because she is ruining her marriage, committing an abomination against God, toying with people's emotions by using them for whatever she can get from them.

I just don't understand why if you are married, you are very unhappy and no longer want to be married/in a relationship, why not end it first without taking your rotten spoiled cursed garbage baggage into someone else's life.  Carolece friend is probably better off without him in her life.  She see's what kind of morals he has, or should I say, a lack there of she was involved with.  She just should let him go and let him dig his own grave and move on with her life.  Sooner or later, what they are doing in the dark will be brought to light.  He will realize she is making a complete azz of him.  He think he on top of things, when she running game all on him.  He gonna feel really silly after she get done taking all his money and using him for all his worth and then dump him in the trash like he did her friend.

Then when all is said and done. Once her husband find out exactly what he's married to, if he's smart, he'll leave her with her disease infected lonely homeless pathetic life and divorce her and end up with someone who is worthy of his love and time.  All because she have no respect for herself or anyone else.

You can't do evil things and expect positive results in the end.  What goes around comes around.  And it's ALWAYS 10 times worse than what you dished out.

Lord forgive them, for they know not what they do.

, anything is possible. However, speaking from personal experience, I really don't feel I was "completely" over my ex when we decided to give it another try back then. Although I had started moving on with my life, I still cared for him a great deal and deep down in my heart I was hoping we could rekindle and reconcile our relationship. So when we did get back together and things were going "okay" for a little while, it wasn't long until I realized why we broke up in the first place. It ended of course thank God. But, I'm not saying that happens for ALL couples, but it definitely was the case for me. Bottom line, I still had "feelings" for him and was hoping he had "changed" and appreciated me and didn't take me for granted. But I was new to the game and didn't know any better. That goes to say: "no woman can change a man, he has to want to change". And sometimes it IS better to let sleeping dogs lie than take yourself back through that emotional roller coaster.

Luckily for me, I'm not barren through the grace and mercy of God. Although I'm not a man, I would like to add my two cents worth. I do understand for a man that carrying on his name IS very important to most men. But in some cases when you find out down the line a woman/man is barren (yes, some men can be impotent too) and you have invested ones self into the relationship then what do you do? This is the same person, unfortunately they can not bare a child. I would hope people would choose to stay and consider "other alternatives" that will remain morally sound in the relationship or even adopting. Any "fool" can bare a child. But it takes a real man/woman to actually raise and parent a child. Just because you were able to birth a child does not necessarily mean that you are any better than any body else who isn't able to bare a child. To me, I can actually highly respect someone who is able to give a homeless child a home and raise them. But I think that if a woman/man being "barren" is a deal breaker for you, then I think you should end the relationship instead of stepping out on that person. That is why the bible says that you choose to love, honor and obey through sickness and in health, through bad times and good times until death do you part.

Love is kind, caring, giving and long suffering. Love is gentle, patience and faithfulness. Love isn't jealousy or envious. Love is not arrogance or full of pride. It goes on and on.

I couldn't vote. Yes, I've cheated IF harmless flirting counts. Other than that, no. I've never cheated on any of my mates. Besides, livedit is fairly new to the game. I've only had 3 relations. My ex-boyfriend, before I was born again livedit had a "play mate" and my now fiance. So again, unless "flirting" counts as cheating, then livedit cheated numerous times.