₦airaland Forum

@ruudie
indeed it is, but those times are indeed very few, most times, u need to get off ur backside and get ur act and life together (not u personally )

@cutey, yes ohh!!!, no be our fault

@Ruudie
Your explanation is welcome, and rest assured, i was/am not offended, however i'd like to know what u figured out about me, from my style of writing, just curious

something about me?, well seeing as u gave a little about u, i suppose u deserve something about me.
I am honest, down to earth and though i respect people's opinions, when asked i will not refrain from telling them what i think. whether its harsh or not, its life!

hahahahaha

@cute-ass my twin from another mother, took the words out of my mouth, y'all need to sit down and talk, say car,
abi na ur car make her date u b4 or ur personality?, if no want anymore, make she tell u up front, make u sabi how to dey heal ur heart, not torturing u and using car as an excuse,

and war betide her if na material things dey make her look elsewhere, because d day she go find love, she will give all her wealth but still not be able to get it,

and even if u could lend some1 a car, i bet she will make it an issue where u had to choose btwn her and ur sister, so she will know where ur loyalty lies?, madness

my dear,@poster,
if ur as good a guy as u sound, u need a caring and compassionate chick, taht will understand when ur down and when u have she go enjoy am wit u, see me, see wahala, sha love hurts, but dont be a fool for it

@Ruudie, i know and i accept that to a certain extent, fate has some part to play in it, but not the majority, does fate guarantee compatibility?, surely it makes it easier to work on things if that is the way it were meant to be, but does it mean u should abandon ur responsibilities in a relastionship because things dont seem to be going the way 'fate' should be leading?

@Ruudie
yes i shall not deny it, Patience is not one of my strongest virtues

and NO i can't comment on any particular posts, but i know that when someone geenrally comes across in a manner i like, or don't approve of, i remember them, which is why i remembered u.

i didnt say my conclusions were right/wrong, but incase they are wrong, (and u should get offended by then) then atleast i know i have excused myself ahead of time!

@Ruudie,
ok, i beg your pardon if my conclusions are not the real deal, but posts reflect a part of ur manner of thinking

so YES i suppose i am drawing conclusions,, would i be wrong?, and if i am, who/what is the true @Ruudie, and why does he make does other statements?

Ruudie,
i dont know, u just come accross like the kind of 'old school' kind of guy that is very set in his ways

hahah @I-man, maybe because at some point in their lives, most sexually experiece guys will cheat for the heck of it.

not saying to accept it, but if it does happen, and u know about it, is there any guarantee that the next guy wont do it?

@Ruudie, i almost expected ur expected ur response, infact, if u'd have said anything else, i'd have been a bit surprised

Was chatting to my sis, a couple of nights ago, and she said

''Sis, i know u dig honesty and ur a straightforward honest kind of girl and u tell it like it is. Also u also expect ppl to be as honest a you. BUT if you are going to settle down with a guy someday, you are just going to have to accept that, he will do things that he knows u wont like. At one point in lie, he will lie to u, cheat on u, or even consider it. And when he lies, he'll make excuses, or say its for ur own good.''

heck i know even sometimes when she and her guy are arguing, d guy will say '' baby u want the truth, but the truth is, if i told u the truth half of the time, u couldn't handle it. and i've accepted that women walk and sometimes nag, so sometimes i lie to u now, to avoid certain issues in the future''

i had to laugh, but it got me thinking about my sister's statement, and the fact that there seems to be some truth to it.

Do you agree/disagree? and why

And if you agree, WHAT ARE SOME OF THE THINGS WE SHOULD LEARN TO ACCEPT AND LIVE WITH, IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?

I've noticed a divided view on here on relationships.

Someppl hide behind the fact/idea of OH IF IT WERE MEANT TO BE, IT WOULD SURELY HAPPEN, AND THINGS WOULD BE SMOOTHER/HAPPIER

There are others i have noticed on here, that have a PRACTICAL VIEW of the whole thing. They believe a long lasting relationship, needs to be worked on, by both partners, and the commitment. Love is an enhancer, compatibility and commitment is the foundation.

What is ur view, Head in the skies, and leave all to fate or foot-on-the-ground practical? (e.g forgiving, forgetting, understanding, tolerating)

Which camp do u belong to?

it's one thing to cheat, it's another thing to cheat with family/friends of someone.

I DO NOT CONDONE CHEATING WITH CLOSE FAMILY/FRIENDS MEMBERS, so i say leave her. If u stay with her, ur going to always hate ur brother and its always going to eat at u on the inside, and u might transfer it to the child. seeing as u would be raising your STEP-DAUGHTER/NIECE, Try to reconcile and forgive ur brother.

Let her go for now, cancel the wedding, and see if she and ur brother hook up. it might be, they were the ones who whould have been getting married. If not, and u still love her, and believe she is truly sorry, then after a while see how things go and give her a second chance. but i say dont rush down the alter with her if u bear a grudge

hahahahahaha, when i read this forum, then i realised, i've been too hard on myself all these time, because there are actually some crazy ppl out there,

I am a very generous person, and very generous with all my boyfreinds to dat, so i won't say buying them all the expensive gifts i do, is stupid, its just something in me,

Stupid, would be when my ex whom i really loved dumped me (mind u, till this time, no other guy had ever dumped me oh, it was me doing the dumping) and i couldnt believe he had the guts to do that, let alone let him go. I actually used to call him, crying asking him to take me back, and he used to say well with time, if it was meant to be. U know when u let ur ex still influence ur life with all the rubbish about someday we'll be together etc, all the while, trying to use u for all he can get. It took me ayear, and when i finally got over it, it actually humbled my ego. But he still thinks he got me wrapped under his little finger, i let him think it, because i want the pleasure of shocking him one day with it

most Romantic thing?, errrmmmm, Christ i don't know, im usually romantic (its almost second nature) lol, i guess winning and dinning my bf, giving him a massage and settling down to watch Mr Ibu would classify as the most romantic

@Topic

what has her earning power got to do with it?, abeggi, look mai friend, if u feel her earning more is affecting her attitude towards u, then sit her down and tell her about the changes u'venoticed that u dont like.

if not, omo, enjoy d money, im taking it she must love u enough to marry u. But running off is not teh answer, even if u decide to call-pff a wedding (which is not a joking matter) you should have discussed the reason first

@topic
it depends on the kind of r/ship you 2 have.

If u have a r/sjip whr u do more sexing than talking, then u can guess what he misses, if u have a r/ship based on friendship and companionship, hen he misses ur company as well as ur presence,

@ppl, hahahahaha, infact @cutey/, thanks hun

ok, i am sorry i made an error my original pots. my cousin and i had this converstion on sunday, but she told he he said those things about 1/2months ago.

i think some ppl need a history here, my cousin has never really liked him, ( i dont suppose he likes her much either)and has always thought i could do better (i don't think that is reason for her to sabotage the r/ship as i genuinely feel she is looking out for me, but i do suppose she is sometimes inclined to make things look a bit worse than they are, when it comes to him.

and YES he did call last night and apologised and what not. Its a long way from perfect, but he was only in town for about 5 hours and had lunch with his in-law. (which is how the sister knew he was intown that week) but the company had flown him in and out for a meeting. Its no excuse for his having not told me, and he admitted that, and but he also said, if i had known he was down, i would have caused him grief for not making time to see me (which has some truth to it)

Why did he wait that long to call?, actually he didnt. he had left a few msgs for me to call him, which i didnt get, because of network problems (im not making xcuses, because a few other friends have complained about me not replying msgs i never recieved in the first place)

Things are hard, and i suppose time will tell whether we last or not, but just now, i know where i am heading with my life, and i think he realises that he has a lot of work to do if he wants to stay with me (which is what he says) eitherway, i made it clear my life would go on regardless. he needed to choose whether to make an effort and move forward with me, or get behind.

I am studying as much as i can, AND I THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR RESPONSES. Everyone deserves a second chance, and i suppose in this instance, i am wrong to a certain extent, for having readily believed my cousin, without hearing him out, i passed judgement too quickly. So i guess i've learnt now too. I need to trust him more if its to last, otherwise it doesnt matter whether we are in same house or at different end s of teh world, i can't let ppl play on my insercurities. i need to be able to trsut that he is being faithful and if i cant do that, then i might as well let go.

@ijog
if we were on good talking terms, i could do all those things and get him to do it. Now that i havent even spoken to him since sunday, and i am wondering whether that is the end, i suppose im in no mood/position to use any power of persuasion

@ijogbon
ok, i go try am, but i know he wont do it if i send it to him, hes not into that sort of thing, infact i can already hear him saying

'baby why u dey like to worry me with all dis rubbish, u no go siddon watch BBC News24 say one tin, one tin psychology, na so dem dey do una 419'

hahahaha

@aadun, hahaha,, i suppose there are some 'strange' ppl out there

@mellow, thanks

@asbohrannndyyyyyyyy, thx for d compliment and for feeling my pain

@May, i know dat, oh. but i cant collect evidence because of d distance and our working schedules

@hottie-chic, i know wat ur saying, and if i am honest, a part of me willing to hear him out and put up with some of his weaknesses, as i have for the past yr knowing he is a flirt. but i will not be d one to call him first to discuss something he knows im angry, i wont 'beg' him to tell me sorry, its something that comes naturally and he does it or we 4get what we have had. Its not easy, but i suppose this is one of those defining moments where the way i will be treated in the relationship henceforth will depend on how i act now. I know him, and i know he has good excuses lined up for me (whether they are true or not, i have no way of knowing), i also know he knows im angry and will not listen to any sweet talk or bull shit.

2 things 1. he's either giving me time to cool off,
2. He is being proud and refusing to be the first to call

either way, i am soft spoken and nice and i dont give him headache, but this is one time he had better not be thinking i will call him to make up, because I WON'T!!

THANKS FOR THE EXAM WELL-WISHES , everyone, i'll put my head down

@Sweet T
and what makes u think i wanna get with a divorcee?, and why exactly is she granting u a divorce?, i didnt mean it to make u hurt (so im glad ur not) though i wonder whether anything gets to u

@ne4real, thank u hun. next time ur online, holla, i go giff u. BTW it takes a nice person to recognise another one

@BEBE, i 4give for running off yesterday like dat, lol, sha hope ur well though, no mind me

@Nurex, actually, when u do make ur decision, plz let me know which one u choose, NUMBER 1/2/3?? just interested.

@BEBE, eyahh thanks baby-gurl. i know. and i plan on doing that. If he calls i will give him another chance, simply because i have no concrete evidence and i need to build trust again in him. But he has to make an effort and put in some work towards making it work, i refuse to chase him up and call him only to put up with his sh*t

@Sweet T
Thanks ur a real poo-poo head u know that??, if ur trying to stcik the knife in deeper, then i'm sorry u wont succeed cos its already as deep as it can go. Better luck next time, u unfeeling human being

@iyken,
i dey feel u, and i have considered it. which is why i will be willing to let him persuade me back to him. but if he isnt bothered to do even that, then i guess i will read meaning into his silence!!

@cute, i aint got no prob with u seeing my pic, mail me ur YIM, we'll take it from there, (we kool like dat ), and they can take it any way they want to!!

@BeBe, hahah drinks that's all hun, i don't do the whole coming up for coffee thing, i dont do one-night stands and i dont sleep with a guy i am not dating!!, (just my principles)

@Ruudie
if that is how u choose to see it, then its all good. just don't be regretting it deep down inside

well depends on the circustances and how u both connect, theres no set guidelines

OK, as some of u are aware i am going through abit of a rough patch just now, and when my exams are over (3weeks) i expect i'd want to be letting my hair down a little bit.
so IF YOU ARE A GUY, IN LONDON AGED BETWEEN 24-30, Holla what u got, i think i need to go for a drink, and i'd usually go with friends, but i know they are all probably going to be pitying me, if my relationship doesn't work out, and i do not like to be pitied,
here's the deal:

List what makes u DESIRABLE above the others

IF I AM SUFFICIENTLY IMPRESSED AND COMFORTABLE, I SHALL AGREE TO GO FOR A DRINK WITH WHO EVER IS CHOSEN HERE (heck i'll pay if u want)

IF NOT, i supposed i am going to have to hit the town alone, or with my sis

I know there are single guys here, who r smooth, pics are welcome too

P.S
_{THIS IS ON CONDITION THAT I BREAK UP WITH MY GUY AND I AM SINGLE IN THEN}, if not, then i am sorry but its all good fun though. DO NOT CUT CORNERS BY MAILING ME!!

MEN MEN MEN!! sometimes i wish i could just beat some of them over, about not knowing what they wanted, if he didnt know that why did he 'define' the relationship in the first instance, about wanting to settle down etc, he only wanted one thing, now he got it, he running away, heck maybe it was a trick to get in ur pants

Look, like ppl are advising me in my own thread, my dear, if he doesnt come back u deserve and can probably get better out there!, some of this men dont knwo what they've got, and that they have it good, soon now when they realise they will be saying ' my gf is with another guy, but i still love her' why the f*ck did u not 'work with her through ur bad-patch or period os doubt?, distance is not the option, its another problem, esp if u love his sorry self

If u feel ur ready and can let go, dont even send him no msg, or call him, if he realises what hes losing, he will come back
If u feel u love him too much and want to hang on for a while, then heck go round his place and tell him exactly how u feel and give him options, either way waiting in silence, sint doing u favours, esp if ur d only doing the thinking/wondering at this stage

I DON TIRE FOR ALL DIS MEN WAHALA, SEE ME, SEE TROUBLE!!, non-sense!!

HHAHA@ poster

it depends on whether the guy/s in question make beauty a pre-requisite to a relationship, if they do, (then i suppose ugly ppl no get chance at all)

if they dont then i suppose looks dont matter,

usually very arrogant/vain guys that are good looking, make sure they have someone as pretty on their arm. (i should know, im with a self-obsessed guy) and i know, if i were ugly, him no for get my time at all,

Ultimately,  BEAUTY+BRAINS+A GOOD HEART = is what the men are after (and i got all 3) if they can't get all 3, they usually try to compromise on one, sometimes its

beauty+no brains
brains+no beauty
no beauty+kind heart
beauty+kind heart

u turn that equation any way u want to!!, IF TEHY CANT GET SOMEONE LIKE ME, THEY COMPROMISE

@iice, ohh baby!!!, UR ESSENCE, abi??, my dear keep it up NO BE UR FAULT If UR ESSENCE IS SENSUAL

@goldie
Thank u oo jarre!!! , abi, its just that sometimes i tend to 4get how brilliant i am, esp when i am with someone whose ego seems bigger than mine!!, sha it is well, sha play on ur strengths, they are what makes u UNIQUE