₦airaland Forum

@Ruudie
hahah u see, as much as i appreciate your 'practical' take on things, i just meant ot point out, just because u might not think it is the norm ( or that its the best r/ship) does not mean it will fail in ever instance.

and if to say u want put am down to my staying for ogbodo-oyinbo for a long time, den sha no wahala i agree, but i no agree wit d fact say make people give up without trying just because it hasn't worked for others.
make everybody try him own, if e no waka for them, den them go sabi wia to go from dia, but discouraging from the start doesnt help

and about u sef doubt dating me?, no wahala, i suppose we can't all be compatible. If we were, then we won't be 'special' to the ones that love us
shebi na lie i tok?

@I-man
yes now, most guys will cheat, no one said anything about LDR r/ships being the best for keeping guys faithful (we all agree most guys will stray), but like i said, if d babe get mind to handle am, den no wahala, like i said ''u need a strong heart''

RuuDie
that is because, being 'classy' is an appearance, its an outer look, they way u come accorss to others, stilsh elegant etc, it is not anything internal (well, at least that was the definition last time i checked in the dic)

and HONESTY, is the best policy. ppl might not appreciate it when u do, but keep telling them the truth and sooner or later they'll appreciate u for it. I know it is hard to be consistently honest (heck we all all sometimes), but when it matters, it is important to tell the truth 9thats my perception)

@Black mamba, I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU,

one's being assertive should not and does not involve putting others down (dont know if its a 'classy' trait, but i know its one for success)

@Ruudie

errm. It depends. If you are inclined to cheat then ofourse you will cheat.

Got a friend here, that goes home, every month or 2 to see his gf. Hey, ALL YOU NEED IS TRUST. i suppose and a strong heart!

and dating u?, hmmmmmmmmmm

@Poster

hunney it depends on you and ur threshold for non-sense!!

Some chicks in here are hard-heads and will not for one minute take a guy who cheats on them. They make that clear from the start and they expect at least that one vow to be kept by the man

Other girls, are quite easy going, and wold forgive, and tolerate a lot of crap before reashing peak point.

Depnds which category you fall in

I KNOW ON MY PART, YOU GOTTA FIGURE WHOSE SHIT YOU CAN STAND THE MOST. AND BE WITH THAT PERSON. IF HOWEVER AFTER A WHILE OF COURTING, U REALISE ITS MORE THAN U, I BEG LEAVE.  sha but AS NA MARRIAGE U ENTER?, i go ask u, how many kids are involved?, would this affect them?,

IF YOU CANT STAND UR HUSBAD'S SHIT ANY LONGER (u should have decided that b4 marrying him), either way now he has done it, forgive him and believe in a second chance, but u have to forgive wholeheartedly otherwise u might as well give it up now!, because it would only mae the next months/years unpleasurable, when u cant trust a thing ur partner says, e.g huney i have to work late, and ur thinking *whose he working IT with thins time*

@Ruudie, chei!!!!!!!!!! hmmmm

@poster, ermm my qn is this, IS SHE LYING because OF THE DISTANCE (she knows u cant tell the truth)

OR IS LYING JUST SECOND NATURE TO HER, but now taht ur thinking of somrething more stable its only begining to worry u?, im asking, has she always been a liar and u put up with it (but dont want to anymore) or IS THIS A NEW ATTITUDE?

hahaha see me, see wahala

i see d way some guys in hia, don use this one to air their grievances, lol, some girls are like that because in a man's world (which is what we live in) it is difficult to earn a decent living,.
others a stingy whilst some are just down right lazy and dont want to work

rest assured a girl that demans beyond reason, doesnt love u oh.because if she did, she would feel your pain when your broke, she no go ask u to move heaven and earth. Love=understanding abi

otherwise, make u dey fine better babes when be your type to deal wit, if u've made a bad choice in gf, admit it like a man, swallow the nut and move on, ah ah

Me i don't ask my guy for anything, i work, he works, if he asks i give, but then he will give me without me asking, but to say you're waiting for me to ask!!, hahaha u go wait oh, until u c ur grandchildren. i wouldnt want to give a man that kind of pleasure or power over me, God forbid!!, if u feel as your partner, u want to give me soemthing to get a perfume/ear ring etc, i no go deny, but for say i open my mouth ask u?, lai lai, esp if we don't live in same house, and don't share any other form of finance,

na me and him dey work d money together?

@poster
does ur friend love this older guy too or is she just after green card, stability and security that her young guy can't give her just now?
When she feels she has achieved all that, will she then be looking outward of her marriage for the excitement?

make no mistake ppl, if there is more than 10yrs difference btwn partners, u had better think carefully why u both are in that relationship

The guy seems old enough (and experienced in marriage) to know not to take this lightly, and it appears he is willing to invest more in it. He seems to be bringing more to the table - so the question is:

IS THIS AN EASY WAY OUT FOR YOUR FRIEND?, or does she love this older guy deep down?

@Afro king - Thank you for the compliment huney, i'm glad someone appreciates my rantings

@cutey- sis, u know i be feeling you!! , this telepathy thing is going crazy, dont worry i'm sure some day we'll find some topic on here we disgree on, although it probably wouldnt be that bad, because we'd have different BUT VALID points

@iice, hahaha, u sef, thank u mah

@jobreel i dey oh, shey i don land!

ok here's my list of 10 classy things

1. Dress appropriately. Leave something fro the imagination, and plz, if ur on the larger side of things, i beg avoid mini skirts and over tight tops, doesn't make for good viewing. Be comfortable in your clothes, but sexy
2. walk luike a lady. don't slough or pull your feet, dont shuffle along, walk like u have a sense of direction
3. SMILE, theres no better way to make someone at ease in your company than smiling at them, and if u find you're getting bored, smile and excuse yourself politely.
4. Look presentable - it's always easy to come across slightly unkempt - i know u cant be looking 100% gorgeous all teh time. but look clean, ppl usually notice when u are looking nice - and also when you are not
5. SMELL - nice, if ur not into perfume, don't worry just smell clean
6. Laugh like a lady - i know ppl might take this for granted, but have u heard ur babe laugh somewhere and everyone turned to find out where 'that sound' came from?, yes! highly unearthly, unlady like laughs exist out there, practice to laugh properly
7. Carry yourself with pride and purpose. Not that u should be arrogant or snubbish or feel superior to others, but carry yourself with grace
8. Be knowledgeable. Try a little bit (or alot) about a wide range of conversations. have an interest and opinion in things. And be willing to share them and participate in chats. Nothing worse than a girl on teh date whom you cant talk to, and she doesnt know how to open a conversation or continue one.
9. Be humble.
10. (not the lest) be honest. honesty makes you appealing. Dont flatter ppl. If the truth your about to tell them is going to hurt, say it anyway, they will appreciate you for it one day. Just do it out of concern not spite

@gracious

she needs to be reserved but not appear snubbish

and she needs to know when to keep her mouth shut, and who to joke/laugh with

once she learns those, she'll pretty much be ok

@iice, thank u mah, i think i noticed that!

@IB DAT- see y i said u make sense?!!, lol,

@nkechi, dont worry, i have an ex i always taunt about his nemesis following him, but if u've been good what goes round comes around!!, good luck, just dont jump in/out of anything too quickly b4 thinking because of destitute, gd luck

@gracious - i have to say i DO NOT agree with some of your points ohhh

.First dress appropriately for the occasion - GRANTED

2. love-vendor up the way you speak, try to speak calmly - and since when did the 'PIMPING' up the way u speak bcome classy?,

3. Listen more - I THINK THIS SHOULD BE AMMENDED TO SAY, LISTEN ATTENTIVELY

4. Walk briskly - I DO NOT AGREE WITH THIS, WALKING BRISKLY IS OFTEN RUDE - GIVE THE IMPRESSION UR ESCAPING SOMEONTHING/SOMEONE. WHAT U WANT TO DO, IS WALK PURPOSELY, BUT FEMININE

5. Leave people room to desire to see you more - I AGREE, AT THE SAME TIME IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO SEE THEM, LET THEM DOWN NICELY

6. Observe eating manners - DEFINITELY - SHOULD APPLY TO ALL LADIES (but i dont mean u should eat one grain of rice for 5mins ohh, nibbling is not the answer - rather use moderate portions - dont wolf it down, or eat like a mouse)

7. Always observe environment - FIRST THING YOU SHOULD DO WHEN YOU ENTER ANY PLACE - WHO U MIX WITH WILL SAY LOTS ABOUT U

8. In dating don't be desperate. - BUT IF YOU ARE INSTERESTED, APPREAR INTERESTED, AND KEEN JUST NOT DESPARATE

10. don't be loud in public - HAHAHAHA, yes, he's right next to you he can hear you. HOWVER, DON'T STIFFLE LAUGHTER, OR ACT LIKE A UR CHOKING ON SOMETHING, because U FEEL U CANT LAUGH OUT LOUD

11. Never speak sub -standard English except when it really calls for - I DON'T AGREE, I SAY RESPOND IN WHAT EVER LANGUAGE YOU ARE ADDRESSED IN, (if u can), IF SOMEONE APPROACHES U IN ENGLISH, YORUBA OR PIGIN, RESPOND APPROPRIATELY AS TEH NEED SEED FIT, NO DEY OVER CLAIM ENGLISH, SHEBI NA U ONE GO SKOOL? (can't stand ppl that do this intentionally)

12. Be polite - ALWAYS

13. Have taste - IN WHAT?, YOUR TASTE MAY VARY NO PROBLEM. BUT BE CONFIDENT IN YOUR VARIETY, DON'T BE A FOLLOWER, IF U LIKE COOKE, AND EVERYONE IS DRINKING WINE, STICK TO COKE, LET PPL KNOW UR FIRM, BUT EASY GOING AND U HAVE A MIND OF YOUR OWN

Any body got some more.

YES, BUT AFTER ANALYSING YOURS, I'M THINKING MINE MIGHT BE A BIT DIFFERENT, BE BACK SOON, LEMME GO CHECK OUT THE OTHER JOINTS

iice:
Seriously? Difference between a kiss and romance? _{where do people come up with these topics?}

hahaha iice, chei!, i beg u don make me laugh u hear!!

@topic

which one do you mean romance THE VERB or romance THE NOUN?

If it is the verb = then KISSING IS PART OF ROMANCE (love making)

if it the the noun you are reffering to = refers to the 'art' of wooing, IN WHICH KISSING ISN'T USUALLY THE NORM

take ur pick!!

LOVE does NOT equal marriage

you can love someone but not feel ready/prepared to make that step with them

Marriage is not all about love (the way most of our genration seem to think-sometimes u dont even have to love someone to marry them, as long as that mutual staibility and commitment exists to bulding a life TOGETHER, love and reliability can be built)Marriage is based on long term compatibility and stability, and though u might love some one is u do not see signs on this, then ofcourse all u gonna do is love them.

YOU BOTH have to be ready to make that step into commitment and longterm dedication. and LOVE does not give u this, (it makes it easier to build), but these things do not come with love oh.!!

So don't feel bad if that is how you are feeling right now!

infact, Love in my opinion can sometimes hinder a good marriage as much as it can make it, ideally, i want to marry someone i grow to love, all that passionate love, na for ppl when get power to deal with am. Me i want someone i appreciate more and fall more in love with, as the years go by, not someone i love passionately at the start but then over the years, things dwindle.

if u feel you can handle and maintian the passion till death do u part-then think with your heart and go for it. if you think you want something more stable in ur life, think with your head. I suppse we just want diferent things from marriage, or we have different perceptions of it!

my 2kobo!!

@Ruudie, is that so?, u given up huh?,

if ur both feeling it and ur both consentual adults, heck why not!, and if ur both after fun.

But if u (the lady) is in it for the long term, i'd advice, holding off a little, wait till u see the guy's intensions or u can read his intentions about where he wants the r/ship to go b4 u sleep with him. otherwise u might have regrets later.

if ur both on same wavelength, happy 'sleeping'!!

ermmmmm,

nice topic, funny too esp with the emotions running high in here

it depends, DO YOU THINK WOOING IS THE SAME AS MAKING THE FIRST MOVE?

I wouldn't woo a guy out right, but i'd let him know i'm interested, and the rest is upto him to 'persuade/woo' me to convince me he's the best for me

YES, I'VE DONE IT. i have seen a guy at a bar, he was cute, sexy confident, and alone, i went over and said hi, i think ur cute, he smiled (obviously shocked/embarassed) i already have the upper hand at this time, i asked the bar tender to replace his drink, now he was looking at me like he's trying to read my mind,, so i started making conversation on general issues, nothing personal (only get personal if ur ready to be labelled cheap straight away), after 10mins, i decided he wasn't for me, too little brain cells, more ego. by then he was into me, lol, i just excused myself paid the bill and left, he asked to return the favour of the drink another time, asking if that wasnt the reason y i had bought him the drink in the first place, i said no thanks, i bought u a drink for being cute, so u'd better thank ur mom!, lol, end of!

was that wooing?, or just that i made the first move?, glad i did though, least i had no regrets, cos i know what i missed

@ sam
eyahh, are there guys like u left?, sha its very rare oh, as long as u dont carry that anger with u

If u love the person enough to consider a life-long commitment, then y not?!!

dont tell me the only reason u'll reconsider the marriage is because ur friend dated the person?!, wahala

@poster

she will never be available for u
u wont be able to keep her on the phone for longer than 5mins
she will not care about u, or anything that is going on in your life, so she wont ask
she wont care about those close to u
no interest in ur work or friends
nothing u does will ever be/seem good enough for her
she doesn't make an effort 4u or to impress u

@poster

that is a difficult one to answer without knowing both couples for a long time. if she is really unhappy with her marriage, she had better see a marriage counsellor and try to work it out. Maybe her husband is also seeing someone else. She should try to work out the underlying probs in her marriage, what has brought about this change in her husband?

If they can't work things out, then that is divorce is there for. instead of making each other miserable and their kids, whilst they have fun outside, cheating on each other

@mellow, abi ohh, thats the most important thing to consider when someone is cheating, AIDS no get cure

@ijog, my dear, exams are comming up well, thanks for asking idey just dey read

@nynlicious, infact, i no get power sef to continue replying to u. because u seem like one of those ppl that always have to wish/say the negative. why couldnt u just end ur advice on the good note, that i should concentrate on my exams?, sha i no wahala.

@david, hahah, u sef, does it have to get to that?

@big bumper, yes i had did have doubts. however, before that, i had no doubts it hadn't even crossed my mind. then again, i'm the kind of person with a very active imagination, all i need sometimes is a little seed of doubts and i could build to up to a tree in no time in my mind, lol, its my weakness
and when u go from living 10min away from each other to an hour away on a plane, to me it is long distance oh, cos i could go to italy,germany etc, and back in same amount of time, sha i guess perception is defferent

@Imani, thank u for the objective response, i shall bear that in mind

@all the others, who had nothing better to say than criticise negative/insult, carry on, plz dont stop, make una no tire

@cute
hahaha i no go blame u, u hear, it wasn't ,meant for my r/ship, i had already had a private consultation with u abi?

hahaha, i guess ur right the right combination makes the best combination

@ijogbon
no dey mind some ppl

@moondust and others

SORRY ruudie and i monopolised the thread, but i beg feel free to chip in

RuuDie:
don't need telepathy 2 figure this 1 out!

hahahahahaha, is it that obvious?!, or u just saying because u've noticed it?

hahahahaha@Ruudie
i think u may have spoken too soon

1. last i shecked, i wasn't nigerian
2. i have been here about decade now (and huney u didnt 'get a feeling i was in london' it is written right under my name), wouldnt have been rocket-science to figure that one out

@Ruudie
it was something i disapproved of!. although i didn't reproach you.

hahah@Ruudie
i am sensing u do not like control freaks, can i also assume safely that u probably would not like women who let their 'power/status' get to their head?

the other extreme is that there are ppl that are too chilled in life, nothing fazes them, everything was meant to be/happened due to some 'unknown' force, when it happened because they failed to act appropriately at the right time

@nynlicious,
and if ur time were that expensive, im sure it will serve u better elsewhere, instead of replying to what u see as a waste of time, if it aint worth ur time, ignore it! (practice what ur preaching)

oh and BTW if i were seeking attention, i sure as hell got it didn't i?, and urs too (albeit grudgingly)